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UbiquitousFlounder Archive

View 1 post and 63 comments by UbiquitousFlounder on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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Upvotes Title Category Author Subreddit Date (UTC)
2

UbiquitousFlounder/r/Divorce_Men18/08/24 08:31 AM
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
0

I won't lie it is a struggle. I'm sacrificing holidays abroad and my car is pretty old, so it's a bit of a slap in the face for her to be pissing money away, but I suppose that's the kind of behaviour that made me decide to leave her in the first place.
/r/Divorce_Men18/08/24 02:02 PM
1

Yeah used the calculator for where I am and I'm paying like 30% more than it recommends. I wouldn't mind if she was using the money to set herself up by buying a house as its only going to be a couple more years before kid is 18, but she's just blowing it and claiming dhe can't afford stuff.
/r/Divorce_Men18/08/24 10:51 AM
3

Nothing crazy, just that my ex had some trauma issues that she refused to get help for. This led to outbursts and excess alcohol consumption. Besides this she would constantly complain that she 'did everything' around the house, which was patently untrue. I actually did more housework than her. This was a constant theme, imagined hardship leading to aggression.
/r/Divorce_Men01/08/24 05:59 PM
5

My goal was not to be happy, it was to stop being so unhappy. Every day I was feeling angry and upset at my partner's behaviour, which was really draining, and she wasn't taking any responsibility for the problems we had. Still to this day she won't acknowledge that she needs to resolve her issues and uses alcohol to self medicate, whilst blaming me for destroying 'her family'.
/r/Divorce_Men07/07/24 09:09 AM
4

I just said I wasn't happy in the relationship. Your happiness matters.
/r/Divorce_Men06/07/24 11:52 PM
2

It was inevitable man. Be cool.
/r/Divorce_Men27/06/24 08:53 PM
-1

Traditional values. Uh huh.
/r/Divorce_Men17/06/24 06:18 AM
2

That's what I'm talking about. There's this idea that a person is like a battery or something that depletes the more they have sex. It's nonsense. For a lot of people sex is just sex, and when they make an emotional connection with someone it's a completely different situation. The people who call women 'run through' etc are the ones who put sex above all else.
/r/Divorce_Men16/06/24 07:55 PM
2

Boo hoo
/r/Divorce_Men16/06/24 11:00 AM
1

my point is that it doesn't make me uncomfortable because I'm not a puritan or an incel.
/r/Divorce_Men16/06/24 10:58 AM
2

Yeah exactly. Has it diminished you as a person?
/r/Divorce_Men16/06/24 10:56 AM
1

Stuff that happened 20+ years ago doesn't really occupy my mind that much.
/r/Divorce_Men16/06/24 10:54 AM
2

You can get multiple stds from one person. You don't need to be promiscuous
/r/Divorce_Men15/06/24 10:50 PM
0

Yep. There's a smell of red pill / incel off a lot of the comments.
/r/Divorce_Men15/06/24 10:47 PM
-20

As if we all wouldn't sleep with loads of women if we had the opportunity. At the end of the day if a woman has lots of experience and chooses you, that has to be a vote of confidence, doesn't it?
/r/Divorce_Men15/06/24 08:50 PM
3

Yeah people who complain about every little inconvenience as if the universe has a vendetta against them. Its hard to manage and drags you down.
/r/Divorce_Men14/06/24 10:52 AM
6

I love it. Not having to deal with the insecurity of someone who should be over that shit years ago is so good.
/r/Divorce_Men13/06/24 09:48 PM
4

Oh man this was exactly like my marriage. I do not miss it at all.
/r/Divorce_Men13/06/24 02:25 PM
2

I have a similar situation (kids are older thank God) but my ex wife will do stupid stuff because of alcohol (eg turn down a lift home from her friends because she wants to stay at the bar drinking and talking to some random she just met, then call me at 1am because she's stranded and can't get a taxi.) I just turn my phone off now. If she wants to engage in risky behaviours she's going to have to learn from consequences.
/r/Divorce_Men06/06/24 10:32 AM
2

Ha! Exactly.
/r/Divorce_Men04/06/24 08:07 PM
12

Same. The poor hygiene of a lot of women is a real problem for me, as well as all the other stuff. Just way too much effort.
/r/Divorce_Men04/06/24 05:15 PM
4

I instigated our divorce, and I actually felt similar. I felt people would judge me for being true to my feelings and not trying to save the marriage. All that stuff about being stoic and not acting impulsively definitely made me feel less masculine.
/r/Divorce_Men04/06/24 05:10 PM
8

You did the right thing dude. I didn't listen to my gut and ended up in 20 years of unhappy marriage. Finally plucked up the courage to end it and have been the happiest I've been since being a teenager, but without all the angst and need for validation
/r/Divorce_Men27/05/24 07:30 PM
3

I think the realisation that we have to take responsibility for ourselves takes some people a lot longer to arrive at, and some people never do.
/r/Divorce_Men23/05/24 09:37 AM
5

Good work on sorting yourself out. If your wife is a negative influence and is unwilling to change I would be feeling the same way. That gets exhausting, especially when you feel like you are living with a teenager.
/r/Divorce_Men23/05/24 08:28 AM
8

Mine tells me about dates she's going on or whatever. I never talk about personal stuff with her.
/r/Divorce_Men29/04/24 08:44 PM
2

Omg, yeah I would apologise for any just to end the situation
/r/Divorce_Men31/03/24 09:50 PM
13

It's not a women thing, it's an asshole thing
/r/Divorce_Men31/03/24 09:48 PM
3

The key is to see them as a person, not a woman. That helps with keeping infatuation in check
/r/Divorce_Men12/03/24 06:01 PM
2

Some people actually care about their kids.
/r/Divorce_Men06/03/24 08:24 AM
1

Yeah it wasn't all her, I'll be honest, I just lost any romantic feelings for her, but that would have been manageable if I wasnt having to walk on eggshells all the time. It felt like living with a teenager who was constantly picking at me. Honestly I think I have PTSD.
/r/Divorce_Men13/02/24 02:39 PM
2

The negativity and unwillingness to do any introspection was what made me ask for a separation. Basically she was blaming all these outside factors (job, house, money, etc) for her unhappiness. Objectively we had a good life. Happy healthy children, good jobs, small house (but working towards something bigger). I just got tired of the 'poor me' attitude and the constant comparison to others. Like for example she went to visit a friend and was quite scathing that they earned more than her despite…
/r/Divorce_Men13/02/24 02:30 PM
7

That way lies madness. Move on.
/r/Divorce_Men11/02/24 07:36 PM
9

I'm not scared of the financial stuff, I just realised that the whole idea of marriage just isn't for me. Too much compromise, and if you don't compromise you make someone unhappy. And for what? Just not to be lonely? Na I'm good.
/r/Divorce_Men11/02/24 07:00 PM
2

Whatever works dude, just don't forget about your own wellbeing and happiness
/r/Divorce_Men09/02/24 03:33 PM
6

Oh right yeah, I think anger is a big problem with divorces, but that just makes it harder in my opinion. A lot of people are ego driven and see their partner wanting a divorce as a huge criticism of them, when in reality nobody really has control over how they feel about people. Feelings die, not much to be done about it.
/r/Divorce_Men08/02/24 03:53 PM
11

Grey rocking is literally that, not giving an emotional response. It doesn't mean ignoring them, it means not getting emotional or angry.
/r/Divorce_Men08/02/24 03:45 PM
10

Because sometimes people do things to provoke a reaction, not to be genuine about their needs and emotions. That becomes very emotionally tiring so as a means to protect your own mental state you become unreactive. It's basically consciously disassociating.
/r/Divorce_Men08/02/24 03:43 PM
3

I gave my wife the majority of the proceeds from our house, so she could have deposit for a house of her own, (I earn enough to save quite quickly) She pissed half of it away in 6 months and now can no longer get a mortgage. Currently I'm paying child maintenance but kid is 18 in 2 years. Gonna be a shit show.
/r/Divorce_Men05/02/24 12:28 AM
7

My mother met my in laws and when they left her comment was "they certainly like talking about themselves, don't they?" I was too young to see the warning signs then but my ex turned out exactly the same. Narrow minded, self-absorbed, unable to take personal responsibility for anything.
/r/Divorce_Men04/02/24 10:02 PM
4

You have no responsibilities so it depends what you can tolerate. Personally I'd live in a van before staying with her.
/r/Divorce_Men03/02/24 09:40 PM
6

Having a relationship with a 17 year old in your 30's is fucked up. Shows a lack of adult reasoning that is further supported by this post.
/r/Divorce_Men28/01/24 11:14 PM
5

I would sit her down and explain that this is unacceptable and that it needs to stop. Location sharing shouldn't be needed where there is trust. If she won't adjust her attitude after a reasoned discussion then it may be time to look at next steps.
/r/Divorce_Men11/01/24 01:53 PM
2

Aw man yeah, she's getting a good deal of money from me till our son is 18, she got most of the proceeds of the house sale, but still she can't manage to get out of debt. Constantly booking weekends away and holidays.
/r/Divorce_Men04/01/24 09:09 AM
3

It's crazy when you've been in a dysfunctional relationship for years and you meet a new partner who treats you as an equal and actually wants to be with you and be intimate with you without any of the bullshit.
/r/Divorce_Men20/11/23 08:20 AM
1

This sounds like my ex wife. Lots of issues with alcohol, intimacy, mental health, but a steadfast refusal to seek any kind of professional help so I was left to deal with it. Absolutely do not regret ending things, I feel I have a future now.
/r/Divorce_Men20/11/23 08:16 AM
1

Just out of 20 years, The only scenario I can see me getting married again would be a very relaxed arrangement with someone who had their own independence and home and we didn't live in each others pockets.
/r/Divorce_Men10/11/23 10:30 PM
2

Yep whilst my situation was nowhere near this, feeling like you have to manage someone's emotions all the time when there are no real external issues is exhausting.
/r/Divorce_Men29/09/23 09:34 AM
1

My ex has put on a huge amount of weight, I feel bad for her but as usual she is not taking responsibility for it and continues to engage in unhealthy lifestyle choices and complaining about it.
/r/Divorce_Men21/08/23 08:14 AM
1

Not at all, I respect her for the work she put in, I hate myself for stringing her along for years when I didn't love her, because I didn't want to hurt her. I ended up hurting her more.
/r/Divorce_Men12/07/23 08:59 PM
10

Leave the door open for your kid, at some stage he may want to know you better, but sure, get out of the marriage.
/r/Divorce_Men26/05/23 12:31 PM
6

I don't hate women but I spent 20 years putting my needs secondary to my wife's, so if I was to enter into a new relationship it would be as equals and with less emotional dependence. I'd rather be single than have to deal with someone who needs a man to do stuff for them
/r/Divorce_Men10/05/23 10:08 AM
5

Dude, this is fucking pathetic. Cut all ties and get a grip.
/r/Divorce_Men05/05/23 08:33 AM
2

Thanks very much. Yeah I wouldn't ever settle for someone who doesn't reach the bar again. I'm happy that this is a decision that I took, it's given me a new feeling of confidence in myself that had been slipping away.
/r/Divorce_Men03/05/23 05:34 PM
4

Oh yeah that would be good
/r/Divorce_Men02/05/23 04:31 PM
20

I can relate. For years my stbxw would not seek help for her issues, very negative thought cycles, childhood/teen trauma, which would lead to mood swings and everyone walking on eggshells. It began to impact my mental health as I was constantly having to argue that our life wasn't so bad. We both eventually got good jobs, the kids had their hiccups but are mostly grown and happy but still she would be catastrophising. It got to the point where I realised that she was the only thing in my life th…
/r/Divorce_Men02/05/23 04:22 PM
6

"I just need this and I'll be happy, I just need that and I'll be happy." Readers, she was never happy, because the problem was inside.
/r/Divorce_Men30/03/23 08:48 PM
15

I wouldn't say I got stomped on, but marrying someone with childhood/teenage trauma totally exhausted me. As she got older she kind of understood that she had issues but made no attempt to take responsibility for getting some resolution for them.
/r/Divorce_Men30/03/23 07:58 AM
2

Just realising I was unhappy a lot of the time and the relationship was the cause. I realised I didn't like her as a person.
/r/Divorce_Men30/01/23 08:50 AM
3

Some people fixate on pets, basically easier to deal with pets than human relationships. They offer unconditional love all the time without requiring much in the way of emotional labour. It's like eating ice cream for every meal. People who favour animals over humans tend to be assholes.
/r/Divorce_Men22/01/23 06:11 PM
1

Yeah I couldn't be bothered unless someone outrageous comes along, and since that hasn't happened for 20 odd years I can't see it happening now.
/r/Divorce_Men09/01/23 12:22 AM
-5

That's pretty entitled. If someone wants a divorce they have every right to ask for one.
/r/Divorce_Men03/01/23 08:07 AM
3

Stop drinking, stop the drugs, maybe think about a career change. Thake this opportunity to take stock and turn your life around
/r/Divorce_Men01/01/23 10:12 AM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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