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UnableStranger590 Archive

View 3 posts and 52 comments by UnableStranger590 on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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2

Yeah, I'm wondering now just how useful all my searching for a label has been? When really all that's wrong with me is that my life has been turned upside down and my inability to express my emotions has forced them to leak out through my body... Dont tell anyone, but putting on an emotional film (like American Sniper, lol) and having a good old cry, really seems to help... 🤷‍♂️ Good luck man, and feel free to DM any time you want to chat.
/r/Divorce_Men06/06/26 06:01 PM
5

Im in it right now, you can look at my past posts to see the clusterfuck of physical symptoms i've been having. Its been a fucking nightmare, and I dont say that lightly. Worst 6 months of my life so far. I'm seeing signs of a revival - i can do light to medium workouts now without completely collapsing into a whole-body weirdness, where at my worst even walking up the stairs or reading a report at work sent me into a death spiral. I have no idea, but i think I had so much pent up depression, fe…
/r/Divorce_Men06/06/26 04:19 PM
1

Glad you've managed to find some peace in it all. Cheers man, all the best to you too. Thanks for your words!
/r/Divorce_Men31/03/26 11:01 AM
1

That sounds rough... Was that all due to long covid or your divorce? Or both? How are you doing these days?
/r/Divorce_Men31/03/26 09:27 AM
2

haha, thanks :) As I've said elsewhere, I dont know whether my issues are the illness I had, or whether it's my nervous system going crazy... I'm starting to lean towards the latter being the main driver. I've had so much stress for so long, for years, I dont think I remember what it is to be able to relax. That's going to do things to me, right? My beard is already turning grey... hoping this divorce doesn't complete the job :D
/r/Divorce_Men31/03/26 09:25 AM
1

Jesus man, that sounds rough. Sorry you had to go through/are going through that. Yeah, I think that this is showing me that I'm alone now - there's no-one to lean on. Maybe that's a good thing. Glad you're feeling happier now.
/r/Divorce_Men31/03/26 09:21 AM
1

I am, but I cant work out properly due to this illness, whatever it is.
/r/Divorce_Men31/03/26 09:19 AM
2

Sorry to hear you're going through something similar. I'm only starting to realise that my mental health, and now physical health, has probably been suffering over the past few years of the constant stress I've been living under. Walking on eggshells, being constantly diminished as a person, anxiety and cortisol spiking every day. It suddenly feels like the floodgates have opened, and right now I dont know what is actually the aftermath of covid, and what's my nervous system suddenly letting loo…
/r/Divorce_Men31/03/26 09:18 AM
2

Cheers man, genuinely thanks for that :) I think there's a lot in what you've said - there's a book isnt there, The Body Keeps the Score? Maybe it needs a read... My white knuckling has been going on for years, if im honest. This relationship has really taken a toll.
/r/Divorce_Men30/03/26 05:16 PM
1

Yeah, even though we are sort of getting on, there is an underlying tension/stress that I cant escape. Which results in continually elevated cortisol, I believe. the sooner I get my own place, the better. Everything is just so drawn out though, and I dont want to just 'settle' for a place. And thanks for the heads up re food - I do eat pretty well though, it's a habit from working out/weights. I do need to simplify stuff, though. I get stupid, recurring, thoughts, like, if I'm not working out, I…
/r/Divorce_Men30/03/26 12:03 PM
1

No, the house is all good, nothing obvious that I could see that would cause any issues. I've started meditating again, and I think that definitely helps me keep a grip on my tendency to spiral - my head has gone to pretty dark places the past few months. Ironically I stopped playing video games because she didn't approve like me playing them. Maybe time to start again :)
/r/Divorce_Men30/03/26 11:58 AM
2

Thanks, appreciate your reply. I haven't looked after myself properly for years and, besides the covid, I'm starting to realise I feel wound up like a spring. I'm doing very light stuff at the gym - it helps to get out of the house. Cheers, hope it goes well for you too
/r/Divorce_Men30/03/26 11:54 AM
2

Cheers man. In the UK we have to wait months for any sort of mental health help - it's a mess. I have a triage call in a few weeks, and could be another month or two after that before I get any real help. The doc has suggested SSRIs, but I'm not sure. I've had issues with them in the past coming off them. The treatment you got sounds amazing. Loved your third paragraph. That's what IU envisage getting divorced to be! I just need my physical health to catch up :D The longer this is going on the m…
/r/Divorce_Men30/03/26 11:51 AM
1

Hopefully it will only be 3 months for us - but we need to sell a property and I need to but a new one, so it could drag out. Just hope we can keep cordial for that long, but at the same time, I'll be dreading actually moving out, but hopefully some excitement for a new life will have settled in by then, too...
/r/Divorce_Men18/01/26 10:45 AM
1

Sorry to hear all that - it does sound like a complete shitshow. I'll take your advice on board, strongly. I keep having doubts etc, as we are getting on better than we have done for a long while. But gonna stay the course. Will start viewing new houses in a week or so, keep moving forward. Cheers man, and hope things work out for you and your son.
/r/Divorce_Men18/01/26 10:42 AM
3

Damn, sorry to hear it all went sideways - i hope it works out. We've just started on our reasonably mutual divorce and are currently on good terms. Any words of advice to stop it going wrong? I guess, just keep moving with it?
/r/Divorce_Men15/01/26 10:21 AM
1

Thanks :) 'Brutal' is the word for it... I'm sure it will get better - I've seen too many success stories on here and with some of my friends for that outcome not to exist. I'll remind myself to breath, work out, eat healthy and not drink like a sailor.
/r/Divorce_Men15/01/26 10:18 AM
1

Thanks for your reply, I hope it gets better for you. It's a completely different life isn't it? We're still cohabiting, and it's pretty chilled at the moment - we are actually getting on better than we have for a long time, I guess maybe because the great unsaid has been said - but I cant stop thinking about the future, and being in an empty house with no one to talk to, no kids around, etc. It will be a while before I get there though as it's going to take months to sort out a new house etc...…
/r/Divorce_Men15/01/26 09:31 AM
2

From what I've seen on both my and my wife's side - the men would be better off without their respective wives. So they have company, but at the price of constantly being criticised, pecked at, moaned about etc. Something for me to think about when my thoughts start dipping!
/r/Divorce_Men14/01/26 03:01 PM
2

I do tend to catastrophize... I have already lifted since this morning when I wrote the above - had a workout and a run, and also reading the replies and connecting with others here all helps. Thanks
/r/Divorce_Men14/01/26 02:01 PM
2

Thanks for this. It's a bad day I guess, and I'm letting the bad thoughts in. Reading back my quotes in your message helps me see past what I'm thinking. Thanks again.
/r/Divorce_Men14/01/26 01:30 PM
2

Haha, cheers man. I think it's just one of those days. If anything, this limbo is crippling - it allows my mind to keep wondering to the what-ifs, instead of pushing forward and rebuilding my life. Thanks for your message, helps to hear from people further down the road.
/r/Divorce_Men14/01/26 11:28 AM
1

This is what I needed to hear :)
/r/Divorce_Men14/01/26 11:25 AM
1

Sorry to hear that, man, sounds like a nightmare. I've started working out again, too, and I'm getting about 5 hours now instead of 4, which is an improvement, but I'm still feeling like shit most days. I've got my therapy appointment next week, sure she'll say something similar. Numerous chats with chatgpt have given me the TLDR that my body sees divorce as an existential threat, so it's gone into survival mode, like you say. I need to regulate my self again - exercise, no alcohol, eating well,…
/r/Divorce_Men14/01/26 09:23 AM
1

Thanks. Yeah, I think a big part of this is that I'm sleeping in the 'office'. It just doesn't feel like a bedroom, or even like my space. Its going to take a while to untangle finance etc before I can move out though, so hopefully I'll get more used to it. Yeah the more I look into this, and hear from people on reddit, it seems this is a pretty normal response to an extremely stressful event. That sort of helps, to know its normal. Thanks for the reply.
/r/Divorce_Men10/01/26 02:05 PM
1

How do you cope on that little sleep for so long? Im fucked after jyst a week of it. Do you try working out at all? Hope it gets better for you soon.
/r/Divorce_Men10/01/26 02:01 PM
2

Thanks man, I'm at the gym right now!
/r/Divorce_Men10/01/26 01:59 PM
5

Brilliant advice. I'm just about to start this 'journey', also in my late 40s, and everything you say makes a lot fo sense. Good luck with your date!
/r/Divorce_Men09/01/26 08:39 AM
1

100%, my man.
/r/Divorce_Men08/01/26 05:54 PM
3

I have a few friends who never got married but have enjoyed long, good, relationships, and with having kids. I'm going to tell my son that marriage is a scam, cite my friends, and that there is no need to ever, ever get married. Sure, have a big fuck off party to celebrate your love if your partner feels she's missing out on a 'marriage', but never get the fucking state involved. And if she gives you an ultimatum - get married or else - then thank her for the huge red flag and move on. Love shou…
/r/Divorce_Men08/01/26 05:22 PM
2

Thanks again. I do have an underlying feeling that it will get better. I just need to keep on keeping on. And I'll be in such a better place to pick the right person next time round...
/r/Divorce_Men08/01/26 04:47 PM
1

Thanks again for taking the time, means alot. I'll look him up, sounds like something that i could defo get on with
/r/Divorce_Men08/01/26 04:45 PM
1

Thanks again for taking the time, means alot. I'll look him up, sounds like something that i could defo get on with
/r/Divorce_Men08/01/26 04:45 PM
2

This is a great comment. Maybe even make a list of all the things you can do now that you couldn't do before, and that gets you excited. Read it when you feel bad. Maybe even make hard plans. And keep posting here, man
/r/Divorce_Men08/01/26 04:21 PM
3

Do something simple - give yourself a year. If you still feel the same in a year, then reasses. But put the 'decision' off for a year. I'm going to go out on a limb and say that in a year, things will be better 🙏
/r/Divorce_Men08/01/26 04:18 PM
1

Yeah, I'm guessing the OP is in US, but in UK, I imagine this would set off all sorts of safe guarding red flags... it sucks, but even asking for help can be used against you. I think in UK even therapy notes can be discoverable.
/r/Divorce_Men08/01/26 04:16 PM
1

Glad your back on track man! Thats brilliant, and very encouraging, cheers! It sounds like you had a rough time of it... And thanks especially for your last paragraph - you spell out the gravity of all this very well in a way that I can hear. I hope things keep moving up for you.
/r/Divorce_Men08/01/26 04:02 PM
1

Hearing this is normal actually sounds like good news, paradoxically. I think one take away from this thread is that its obvious that even though this is shit, people get through it, and lack of sleep doesn't kill you. And I already ordered some magnesium gycinate! Also not keen on too much medication after bad experience with antidepressants a good few years ago. Thanks for your message, I'm very grateful. All the best to you, too.
/r/Divorce_Men08/01/26 03:59 PM
2

Exercise, yes. I think I need to force myself to the gym, even when I feel shit and can hardly move. I just get the feeling that it might help reset my system. Haven't been for a month, and I'm normally a 4 times a week guy. Thanks for your reply, appreciate it.
/r/Divorce_Men08/01/26 03:55 PM
1

The thought of going through all this when I'm fully coherent is bad enough, never mind when I'm sleep-deprived idiot... I hope it all works out for you man. Good luck.
/r/Divorce_Men08/01/26 03:53 PM
2

Doesn't sound stupid at all, I'll try anything. Currently reciting the lords prayer (I'm not even religious) and counting to a hundred in Japanese... I'll give your mantra a shot! :)
/r/Divorce_Men08/01/26 03:52 PM
2

I had a panic attack, too, a few nights ago. 2am, felt I was never going to sleep again and my mind just went awol. Only just started this process and already its feeling brutal. Im going to start looking into meds. Will give myself another week or two...
/r/Divorce_Men08/01/26 12:42 PM
2

Sorry to hear that man. How you doing now? No, can't really move out yet. We havent even started to talk about how we're going to arrange things, money, kids etc. I can't afford it with currebt outgoings all tied up in the family day-to-day. What makes it worse is that the spare room is where I have my office, too - so it feels like my world is this one fucking room.
/r/Divorce_Men08/01/26 12:39 PM
1

Yeah both sides - takes forever to fall asleep, then the 4am wake up. I get hyperarousal when falling to sleep - i drift off, then suddenly i'm pulled awake. Over and over. Its fucking horrible.
/r/Divorce_Men08/01/26 12:36 PM
1

Cheers man. The not working out is really affecting me, too, I think. It was the one thing that made me feel good. Im thinking I need to just go the gym, force myself though even a really light granny workout or something. Might help get my system back online. Good luck to you, too, man.
/r/Divorce_Men08/01/26 12:34 PM
1

Cheers man. Sorry it's hitting you the same way. How far are you in?
/r/Divorce_Men08/01/26 12:33 PM
1

Yep, I've always slept brilliantly. Asleep as soon as my head hits the pillow, solid 7.5- 8 hours every night. Now this shitshow.
/r/Divorce_Men08/01/26 12:32 PM
1

Yeah, thanks. It was like the first 'real' part of the pending divorce, that there's no one to just talk to about this stuff anymore. Hits hard.
/r/Divorce_Men08/01/26 12:31 PM
2

Thanks man, good to know its not just me (and that's really clear looking at all the replies I've got). I imagine my nervous system is going to take a while to reset. Isn't it shit how your body fucks you up when you need it most.... Im thinking of taking some nytol (uk over the counter) to see if that can at least get me to sleep. And id take groggy any day over how I'm feeling at the moment...
/r/Divorce_Men08/01/26 12:29 PM
1

I've been struggling with this for years too. It's just that little side of not bad enough to keep me here. Hate myself for not having the balls to do it.
/r/Divorce_Men24/11/25 05:12 PM
2

100% this. I'm only starting to realise it now. And I'll try and tell my son and he wont buy it, and so it will continue...
/r/Divorce_Men24/11/25 05:10 PM
16

Yes absolutely. I wake up every morning and my stomach is in knots wondering what the hell is going to greet me when I join everyone for breakfast - Smiles? Cold stone silent treatment? Outright hostility? Who the fuck knows, but it keeps life interesting right? Fucking lol. I'm a fucking nervous wreck. I'll be feeling reasonably good and she'll walk into the room, and her stern face, her manner, everything, it's enough to instantly suck the life out of me. You see, I know something is wrong, I'…
/r/Divorce_Men24/11/25 12:10 PM
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