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UnrulyAnteater25 Archive

View 1 posts and 73 comments by UnrulyAnteater25 on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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Upvotes Title Category Author Subreddit Date (UTC)
39

UnrulyAnteater25/r/Divorce_Men16/10/25 07:17 AM
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
10

Possibly nothing to do your divorce. I watched the movie “Hook” (Spielberg) recently with my kid and this quote struck me: “We have a few special years with our children, when they're the ones that want us around. After that, you're going to be running after them for a bit of attention. It's so fast, Peter. It's a few years, then it's over. And you are not being careful. You are missing it.”
/r/Divorce_Men21/07/26 05:20 AM
1

From your situation, it sounded like there wouldn’t have been an income discrepancy if there were no children. If there were no children, you’d have a career and significant income.
/r/Divorce_Men17/06/26 03:13 AM
1

This sounds like it applies only in very specific circumstances: couple marries young, couple has children, couple remains married for the majority of their working ages, and 1/2 of the couple chooses to be a stay-at-home parent during entire childhood of their children. Those are 4 conditions that setup your situation of lifetime alimony.
/r/Divorce_Men17/06/26 01:25 AM
3

I can’t talk about this publicly; free feel to DM me. Ultimately, it’s not your responsibility to save your ex-wife from financial ruin. If she is a financial train wreck, ruin will come to her no matter what choice you make. It took me a long time to come to that realization.
/r/Divorce_Men24/05/26 03:06 AM
6

I did the buyout. Wife never worked. I paid all alimony up-front. Bought out her equity in the house. Gave her fair share of the earned investments/401k. She spent it all in 2 1/2 years. It was a ton of money. I’m embarrassed to say how much. She’s very unlikely to find another man to support her. She’s in dire straits now. Still no job.
/r/Divorce_Men23/05/26 08:30 PM
3

Focusing on it won’t make it end sooner. It’s gotta unfold in its own time. Try to remember that.
/r/Divorce_Men23/05/26 08:22 PM
4

It depends. In my state, I had to pay all my wife’s bills and rent during the divorce process. The money came from “marital assets”, but since she never worked, it was money I earned. She had no incentive to end the divorce because her lifestyle was fully paid for during the divorce. By law.
/r/Divorce_Men23/05/26 08:20 PM
2

There’s nothing you should until the sum adds up to Be significantly more than the legal fees. Keep excellent records.
/r/Divorce_Men10/03/26 04:03 AM
2

Wow, I’m sorry for your circumstances. Can you share what state that is?
/r/Divorce_Men27/02/26 07:26 PM
1

A simple google search contradicts your 25-50% figure from multiple sources. It is the trend now that equal 50/50 custody be granted if both parents want custody. By denying that, you cause yourself lots of extra legal fees. The only exceptions is when a parent is deemed unsafe. And the bar for safety is high. Bringing a child around an ex-convict boyfriend is not unsafe by this standard. Driving while drunk with the kids in the car is, as is shooting heroin and leaving needles on the floor with…
/r/Divorce_Men27/02/26 06:34 PM
0

Copying and pasting generic advice is of low value. The guy can get the same from ChatGPT or a bot. Instead why don’t you try to tailor your replies to his specific questions and challenges?
/r/Divorce_Men27/02/26 05:12 PM
2

You’re just not going to get sole custody. Get the out of your head. Now realize what like will be like if you’re both in different states far apart.
/r/Divorce_Men27/02/26 05:07 AM
1

You write this for most every post.
/r/Divorce_Men27/02/26 05:02 AM
1

What is the advantage of sharing retirement planning documents with your ex-wife?
/r/Divorce_Men25/02/26 05:03 AM
2

It sounds like she’s depressed. Not cleaning yourself is a key indicator. Probably other issues too of course. But depression is hard to live with.
/r/Divorce_Men19/02/26 02:25 AM
1

Does she work? You didn’t mention. If not, I had the exact same wife.
/r/Divorce_Men19/02/26 02:05 AM
5

I was falsely accused of many things, such as throwing my wife down the stairs when she was pregnant with our son (I was never physical with her… ever). The sexual abuse allegation is next level batshit crazy. divorce lawyers encourage these false accusations because it does exactly what is happening to you now: you feel panic and distress. You are highly emotional and likely to make mistakes because of it. It’s so uncomfortable that you might even settle to get things “back to normal” and feel …
/r/Divorce_Men17/02/26 05:47 AM
2

It’s ok to realize that you stayed because you loved her, even if she never loved you. Even if the factual events point to her lying or deceiving you. Things weren’t reciprocal. You loved her and she didn’t love you. Maybe she was even using you. That’s ok, brother. Love does not have to be returned for you to love. You’d love your kids, your pets even if they didn’t love you.
/r/Divorce_Men16/02/26 10:10 PM
2

A big man crying is usually a pedophile? What in the actual fuck?
/r/Divorce_Men16/02/26 09:04 PM
1

Definitely a strange story.
/r/Divorce_Men13/02/26 07:29 PM
1

Many US states no longer have at-fault divorces.
/r/Divorce_Men09/02/26 03:08 PM
2

This. We aren’t in the 1950s anymore. What country is OP in? Maybe it matters there.
/r/Divorce_Men09/02/26 03:04 PM
2

How does someone get alimony for life?
/r/Divorce_Men09/02/26 05:58 AM
2

Who has the 60%? You or her?
/r/Divorce_Men09/02/26 05:54 AM
4

The rule of thumb is: the more the two of you disagree during the divorce, the more expensive it will be.
/r/Divorce_Men08/02/26 03:37 PM
3

It allows the accuser to avoid any responsibility.
/r/Divorce_Men01/02/26 06:27 PM
2

I know two women who had kids through a surrogate and without any father (sperm donor). The kids never will have a father in their life. There must be something like this for men. Obviously you can’t provide the egg but… egg donors with a surrogate?
/r/Divorce_Men21/01/26 07:48 PM
5

join r/stopdrinking and read
/r/Divorce_Men18/01/26 10:33 PM
2

Testosterone levels matter in women, too.
/r/Divorce_Men06/01/26 01:56 PM
13

Yes. She is documenting each activity and appointment. When you get a custody battle, she will show that she’s the one bringing the children to all of those events. Show up for everything you can, and document it, even if she takes the kids in her own car. If the restraining order prevents that, ask your lawyer.
/r/Divorce_Men06/01/26 02:51 AM
7

Not true in my state. Not at all.
/r/Divorce_Men25/12/25 11:24 PM
5

The equivalent in my marriage was showering without squeegee-wiping the glass door afterwards, leaving water to dry as marks. Now I never squeegee the shower - in fact I threw the squeegee-wiper away - and I relish the water marks. Imagine getting screamed at and tantrums thrown for such a thing.
/r/Divorce_Men16/12/25 07:54 PM
1

I wore a body camera from Amazon ($150) for the same purpose. I had no intention of catching her at anything. The very obvious video camera kept us both civil. It’s a deterrent.
/r/Divorce_Men12/12/25 08:44 PM
1

I think Gottman is useful even if the wife won’t participate - because then it becomes blatantly clear the marriage can’t be repaired. It also taught me how to behave, repair, bid for connection, etc and what to expect for future relationships.
/r/Divorce_Men11/12/25 06:15 PM
2

If you are interested in saving it, read a couple of John Gottman books or audio books. If you can get her to read “8 Dates” with you (audio or text), even better.
/r/Divorce_Men11/12/25 09:05 AM
2

That’s called the victim mentality. She’s feels like she’s a victim. That won’t get her anywhere. Part of growing up is accepting responsibility for your life, your situation, your circumstances- everything. Once she can do that, she’ll find a kind of freedom.
/r/Divorce_Men10/12/25 02:21 AM
4

How are you paying lifetime alimony after a 14-year marriage?
/r/Divorce_Men09/12/25 05:45 AM
2

You can reduce the life insurance coverage each year so she doesn’t get a huge payout if you die right near the end.
/r/Divorce_Men02/12/25 02:41 PM
4

I refuse to use Bumble. Men are treated as second-class citizens since only women can initiate a match. There are too many other apps like Hinge, etc that don’t treat us that way, to use bumble.
/r/Divorce_Men02/12/25 01:24 PM
1

All of us are a series of successes and failures. You aren’t perfect and neither is anyone else.
/r/Divorce_Men01/12/25 06:09 PM
1

No and no. Why would you jump through hoops with a safe deposit box?? Just say no. Mail it back to her or throw it out.
/r/Divorce_Men01/12/25 01:21 PM
7

Prenups do not always hold up in court at divorce time. Look it up if you don’t believe me.
/r/Divorce_Men21/11/25 06:05 PM
1

This is not a good idea. They want a credit card and they will bill you down renting the storage space.
/r/Divorce_Men20/11/25 01:46 PM
5

This happened to me. I chose to move all her stuff into the garage, including furniture. A year later, she still didn’t come and I threw out a lot of it (not everything). Another year later she came and took some of her things from the garage and left the rest. I threw that out, too. My lawyer and therapist told me to trash it all after she missed her court-issued deadline to get it. I didn’t listen. Being nice didn’t matter. In the end she accused me of ruining her stuff. In actuality, she had …
/r/Divorce_Men20/11/25 09:21 AM
4

I was in a similar situation. 5 years later, I still see the kid but not often. He’s a teenager now but i raised him from ages 2-13. He doesn’t see me as his father anymore, but as a special friend. Maybe like a good uncle. And in the last two years, he’s agreed to go on week-long vacations with me. So don’t give up. Keep asking to see her. The first few years were very very difficult for me. I was heartbroken. I was grieving for his loss. Losing him was harder than the divorce itself. But it ma…
/r/Divorce_Men19/11/25 02:05 AM
1

I think this is normal, especially in a suburb or town instead of a big city. It was the case for me, although to a lesser extent. Simply because they play golf together or went to the same schools does not mean they are going to have biased judgement. Going to pro se is the wrong move. Instead you should hire someone who is inside this little clique they have, just in case there IS biased judgement in the group. Play the game if you want to win.
/r/Divorce_Men17/11/25 07:17 PM
0

Sometimes lawyers encourage those letters in order to cause you duress. It’s a strategy. Doesn’t make it right but consider maybe the letter was written by a lawyer and signed off by her.
/r/Divorce_Men16/11/25 09:15 PM
3

Something missing from your post is love. Was there love and affection or were you just good life partners?
/r/Divorce_Men15/11/25 06:09 PM
2

What do you mean by “dumb shit they will find in your … paystubs”? What are examples of that?
/r/Divorce_Men13/11/25 05:03 PM
3

Way too much. Think of your own retirement. You are supposed to take 4.1% of savings per year if you need it to last for 30 years (increasing each year for inflation). Will you have enough to ever retire?
/r/Divorce_Men12/11/25 11:56 PM
6

Why does the lawyer say she entitled to 55%? Why not 50%?
/r/Divorce_Men11/11/25 08:22 AM
2

How old are your kids from the first marriage? Why not move somewhere near them?
/r/Divorce_Men11/11/25 12:41 AM
4

That’s crazy. I would guess there are a lot of kids in Germany who hardly see their fathers at all.
/r/Divorce_Men04/11/25 09:40 PM
1

Glad you found a way. Thinking there is only one way is naive, though. I found my way, and it had nothing to do with Jesus. For me, it was a change of perspective that came with years of therapy and meditation. Understanding ultimate responsibility and acceptance. For instance, OP had a role in this. He stayed married. He bears some responsibility for the consequences of that, as much as it hurts, it’s true. I did the same: chose to ignore red flag after red flag and got married anyway. Then sta…
/r/Divorce_Men03/11/25 04:10 AM
1

She blames you… for what?
/r/Divorce_Men30/10/25 11:57 PM
4

If you buy her out, she an afford to rent.
/r/Divorce_Men20/10/25 05:58 AM
2

I think you’re being naive. No way their first offer will be 50/50. Hopefully you’ve already done the shopping to choose an attorney, even if you haven’t hired one yet.
/r/Divorce_Men19/10/25 02:30 PM
5

She doesn’t get something just because she wants it …. Unless you roll over like a dog. Fight.
/r/Divorce_Men19/10/25 03:25 AM
1

Join r/stopdrinking even if you’ve already stopped.
/r/Divorce_Men19/10/25 02:28 AM
3

I wish I could take this perspective
/r/Divorce_Men17/10/25 09:18 AM
2

Any relationship, really.
/r/Divorce_Men17/10/25 03:27 AM
3

How can I find out if there was an eviction? Is that public record? She had an apartment for 3 years.
/r/Divorce_Men16/10/25 05:12 PM
2

There’s nothing else you should do. There’s nothing else you can do. The mother is foolish if she takes you to court. If the mother brings you to court over a 17 1/2 year old, the judge will laugh … if it even makes it to court before she turns 18. And your 17-18 year old will break all remaining ties with her mother.
/r/Divorce_Men15/10/25 06:14 PM
4

Great summary. Some decades ago, the word “schizophrenic” served a similar purpose. It took on a layman’s meaning that had nothing to do with the clinical term in the DSM. The layman’s term meant something like “unable to decide” in a way that the accuser liked.
/r/Divorce_Men14/10/25 01:40 PM
5

Similar story here. My lawyer put it well: the more conflict and the longer it takes, the more money it will cost.
/r/Divorce_Men14/10/25 01:34 PM
2

The cornerstone of CBT is not controlling your thoughts but examining how you react and respond to them.
/r/Divorce_Men12/10/25 01:36 AM
2

If you’re trying to get rid of the victim mindset, consider this: you had something to do with your marriage problems and whatever led to divorce. Even if you did nothing immoral or wrong, you chose her and stayed longer than you should have. You’re not a victim. You were a participant.
/r/Divorce_Men11/10/25 10:11 PM
1

You can’t control your thoughts. They come and go at will, and you are not the author of them.
/r/Divorce_Men11/10/25 10:08 PM
5

For context, this js not a baby or toddler who would need daily baths.
/r/Divorce_Men11/10/25 04:33 PM
2

I’ll check it out
/r/Divorce_Men11/10/25 04:32 PM
7

My ex-wife started hanging out with a divorced woman. They became best friends , speaking constantly and hanging out all the time. This friend was not a US citizen but wanted to be. Being very attractive, she had an offer from a man who was a citizen to marry, thereby giving her an easy path to citizenship through marriage. This man was somewhat of a loser and was completely smitten. He couldn’t believe his luck. But he couldn’t see how she was using him. He was a complete tool. The two women (i…
/r/Divorce_Men11/10/25 01:42 PM
4

My rules are “there are no rules”. I don’t need to squeegeee the shower glass after I take a shower. I don’t need to fold my clean underwear. I don’t need to pick up the dishes 30 seconds after the last bite. My child doesn’t need a bath EVERY SINGLE NIGHT.
/r/Divorce_Men11/10/25 01:36 PM
2

Did you block her on your phone before your sons were grown? I’m asking because I am thinking of doing that, but we have a small child that requires some coordination for pickups and drop offs. I’ve prefer email from her, not calls and texts. It doesn’t affect me as much.
/r/Divorce_Men08/10/25 01:22 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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