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UsedAlgae Archive

View 0 posts and 253 comments by UsedAlgae on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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1

Feminism aside, I actually don't think this is great advice. The less attractive people I know have tended to partner up later. There's been discussion on this sub that both men and women tend to change their standards from "hot, fun" to "stable, good moral character, etc" as they get older. If you're a decent and mentally healthy person, your chances seem to go up as you get older and people care less about looks. Not to mention that there's not many men who are thrilled about partnering up you…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/12/18 04:04 PM
1

So you're incompatible? OK? I think you're trying to protect your ego with "she's not interested? well I'm even LESS interested in her!" here though.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/12/18 03:29 PM
1

women far, far less physically attractive and with less appealing personalities seem to think I've got to impress them or jump through hoops just to have a chat. That's an instant turn off to me and I just move on. Most of these women are people I would be "compromising" for just so I can have a fling or something short term They probably don't want a guy who thinks he's above them to use them for a fling. Sounds like the strategy is working. I hate making broad generalisations and tend to just …
/r/PurplePillDebate16/12/18 01:07 PM
1

To put it in RP terms, you failed her shit-test there. She was looking for a guy who was a bit invested, and you proved that you weren't that guy.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/12/18 12:11 PM
1

Q4W - What would you want your SO to do in that or a similar situation? Fuck with him and make up outlandish stories about our sex life under the plausible deniability of just politely answering his questions. We're on an airplane, it's not like he's going to start a violent fight. Don't get angry or anything, just enthusiastically tell him about your micropenis and how you honestly don't do it for her, but it's OK, you've got a guy for that, oh and he likes them au naturel down there so what ca…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/12/18 10:56 AM
1

No degree is fine. I'm more worried about the fact that you're making that much money and avoided mentioning what your actual job is. If a 20-something guy without a degree was that baller and gave me a vague "Oh I'm self-employed" I'd think he was selling drugs.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/12/18 07:27 AM
1

I honestly don't think it's that easy to do a 180 on your personalty like that. If you've spent your life up until that point being a player frat boy working your way up the corporate ladder like the guy OP described, you've necessarily picked up some arrogant/antisocial tendencies along the way. You're not going to be able to just blend into where the "good girls" are hanging out and turn off those parts of your personality. Sure you could probably fake it long enough to get with her, but I dou…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/12/18 03:35 PM
1

In the further adventures of "women are not a monolith", some girls avoid these guys like the plague, enough girls don't that they can usually get into relationships. Are these girls good relationship material, and can the guys keep them around, especially without playing exhausting manipulative dominance games all the time? IMO not usually. This is Reddit, so let's take Elon Musk as an example. Sure he's a nerd, but he's a rich narcissist with a cult of personality. He dates young and attractiv…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/12/18 11:05 AM
1

What study are you talking about? This seems to be the one mentioned in the article and it doesn't mention anything about other causes of divorce.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/12/18 03:38 PM
1

Polly's advice is OKish, it mostly talks about self-actualization and barely touches the marriage/kids/etc stuff. She had this life built up in her head (marriage and kids and house by 35 or whatever), and it didn't happen. She started an LTR at 29 and probably thought "this is it", and it didn't work out for whatever reason (notably, it sounds like she was relationship-minded and she did not "ride the cock carousel"). She's really depressed about this and is therefore totally devaluing all of t…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/11/18 11:44 PM
1

how do I reject a girl I've ONLY given good signs to and made out with a bunch. I think don't lead a girl on/make out with her in the first place, if you're not interested? It takes some introspection and watching what you do - people of both genders sometimes subconsciously do this because they like the validation, but it's not like it's something that just happens that you have no control over. If you've already led her on and she's clearly pushing for more, just say something like "Hey, I'm s…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/11/18 11:04 AM
1

is it worse to date someone because you're horny and breakup with them a month or two later because you can't lie to yourself (repeatedly) or is it worse to sex them and ghost them? Both? Yeah you have to have an awkward conversation and probably get less sex, but leading people on isn't really cool in either case. Just be upfront about not wanting anything serious (I think TRP actually advocates this?), or treat them like your guy friends if you're totally disinterested. Not that you're a horri…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/11/18 10:40 AM
1

Women who call themselves bisexual are not well-perceived by lesbians - they assume it means "I just want to fool around with a few women in college and then settle down with a man". So some bisexual women, especially if they prefer women, will call themselves lesbians to have their attraction to women taken seriously. Which also has the problem of causing misconceptions like yours, where people think all lesbians are secretly a little bit straight if the right guy comes along. But no, lesbian w…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/11/18 09:37 AM
1

It is based in insecurity though. You said it yourself - it's not that you care about anal because it's an important part of good sex for you. You want it because you worry that she isn't attracted to you enough, and especially that she isn't as attracted to you as some guy from her past. Obviously wanting good sex is pretty normal. Keeping score about getting exactly what her ex did is weird and jealous. Did you never have crush or a relationship when you were young, where you dropped everythin…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/11/18 11:25 AM
1

I don't think your question makes sense - most men don't actually have a burning desire to beat their wives. As far as I can tell, it's based on this weird RP idea that a girl who briefly tried anal in college was doing it because she was just so swept away by Chad, and not because she felt pressured and didn't know how to set sexual boundaries yet. Then she doesn't want to do it with a new partner, and he gets all jealous and pissy because he assumes it means she's not attracted to him. So he t…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/11/18 08:07 PM
1

When a women is dedicated to supporting strict gender roles on what it means to be a woman, especially ones about manners and looks/fashion and inter-sex relations, it's because of her 'internalized misogyny'. That's not the definition of internalized misogyny. Internalized misogyny refers to women who have negative opinions about femininity in general, and try to distance themselves from women in general. Toxic masculinity says that (a toxic variety of) masculinity is a great thing and that eve…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/11/18 12:56 PM
1

It's not remotely scientific. Lots of people who take it multiple times will get different results, and it doesn't actually predict things in the real world very well. Plus the dichotomies just don't make sense. "People who like philosophical discussions" (N) and "people who like skydiving" (SP) have tons of overlap. "People-oriented" (F) and "logic-oriented" (T) aren't mutually exclusive either.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/11/18 09:44 AM
1

I'm a little confused here - are you not familiar with how people usually use the phrase "not like the other girls"? Top answer here: https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Internalized%20misogyny is basically what I was getting at. That sucks if you were outcast by some women/society in general, but if your reaction is "all other women suck", I think that's the definition of internalized misogyny. (and some of these women who try to get their self-esteem from being The Girl in a group …
/r/PurplePillDebate21/11/18 07:30 PM
1

Because it usually implies that "the other girls" are all boring shallow drama queens, and they are that one special snowflake who is actually an interesting person.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/11/18 06:12 PM
1

No. I think the only women who are OK with keeping orbiters around are the ones who struggle with friendships in general, especially if they're the "not like the other girls" type. Dealing with men's unrequited feelings is just exhausting. Actual friends (who also offer companionship and emotional support!) are pretty much always better. I think the RP caricature of conniving women seeking out orbiters is just them trying to shift the blame about the time they wasted orbiting some uninterested g…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/11/18 10:51 AM
5

Nearly every decent-looking woman who "can't get a date" is emotionally distant. Do you know how to flirt and be vulnerable with men? I don't know about Brazil in particular, but in a country where most people settle down eventually (ie, not Japan), I'd be surprised if most guys in your age range are still trying to avoid marriage and screwing around. TRP is not the majority of society. They're mostly guys who grew up as awkward pushovers or shut-in nerds and are bitter about not spending their …
/r/PurplePillDebate02/11/18 09:49 AM
2

You know that obese people and anorexic people can simultaneously exist and both are problems, right? I think people get desensitized in both directions. Eating disorders are rampant among fashion models and actresses, and obese people have no ability to distinguish healthy and underweight since they both look tiny to them. Most people with eating disorders aren't nearly as thin as Ashley Isaacs (holy shit, how is that girl alive). Alena Klimovich is definitely underweight, who knows about her e…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/11/18 09:06 AM
1

Underwear selfies, "confused for" anorexic, asexual? Actual eating disorder is my guess - underwear selfies because she wants to hear how thin she is, asexual because her body stopped producing sex hormones. Or she might be saying she's asexual as a marketing thing. Guys usually won't get as into following those model types if they know she has a boyfriend. The "asexual" angle means they doesn't have to worry about it and probably makes her seem more innocent. For the general case though, there'…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/11/18 08:06 PM
1

Wait why would you cheat on someone you knew you weren't compatible with, instead of just breaking up or at least asking to open the relationship if that was the issue?
/r/PurplePillDebate01/11/18 04:58 PM
2

The coastal/liberal parts of the US are really similar to Europe. I saw a lot of those ridiculous "European men are completely different from American men!" articles before I moved here - my guess is that they were either written by women from conservative and/or rural areas of the US, or by Europeans whose knowledge of the US comes primarily from movies.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/11/18 09:56 AM
2

There are men who are victims of abuse, and they absolutely, without question, deserve the same respect and resources as women. Statistics point towards there being less male victims of abuse, in terms of raw numbers, but that does NOT mean that their pain is any less or that they should be taken less seriously. There is another group of men, many of whom are not victims themselves, who are concern-trolling about male victims of abuse or male victims of false accusations, because they have an an…
/r/PurplePillDebate31/10/18 09:22 PM
1

I'm reaaally skeptical of anything that mentions "reciprocal" violence at all for the reasons mentioned in the last 2 links. Like you could have a situation like this (completely made up numbers): Say you have 200 relationships where men are the aggressors, and 180 of those women fight back. And 50 relationships where the women are the aggressors, and only 10 of the men fight back. Boom, you have statistics where "non-reciprocal" violence is caused by women 2/3 of the time. Being the instigator …
/r/PurplePillDebate31/10/18 07:52 PM
1

Sorry if it came across that way, it wasn't my intention :( (I meant that false rape accusations are extremely uncommon, not emotional abuse in general. And even if the thing you experienced was a false rape accusation, that's still horrible and deserves to be taken seriously, even if it's uncommon!). I think the end of the second link I posted below explains what I was trying to say better, relevant quotes: Some victims of domestic violence certainly are men. ... Male victims of domestic violen…
/r/PurplePillDebate31/10/18 05:00 PM
1

Against that particular claim: https://web.stanford.edu/group/maan/cgi-bin/?page_id=331 http://xyonline.net/sites/xyonline.net/files/Flood%2C%20Husband%20Battering.pdf Stance of major domestic violence resources on "reciprocal abuse": https://www.thehotline.org/2016/01/25/myth-of-mutual-abuse/ https://www.domesticshelters.org/domestic-violence-articles-information/is-mutual-abuse-real
/r/PurplePillDebate31/10/18 04:09 PM
1

Physical abuse in relationships rarely happens without psychological abuse. You can't hit someone and expect them to stick around unless you're already spent a while breaking their spirit. Anyways, for the specific "I'm afraid of women because they might falsely accuse me" thing, it just feels like it's totally missing the context of the discussion about sexual assault. The message of #MeToo was basically: male -> female sexual assault/harassment is common, underreported, not taken seriously eno…
/r/PurplePillDebate31/10/18 04:06 PM
1

A Women’s weapon is psychological, where a man’s weapon is physical. ? Men are just as capable of psychological abuse. I was in an abusive relationship. He did attempt to ruin my relationships with work contacts and friends by contacting them with various false accusations. He also threatened self-harm if I left him - at one point I had to physically wrestle a lighter out of his hand while he was trying to burn himself with it. This was a guy who had a good 50lbs on me. Just that the whole physi…
/r/PurplePillDebate31/10/18 12:52 PM
1

From the perspective of the people who were upset about Cavill's statement, whether you agree with them or not, it's because it comes across that Cavill is saying he doesn't understand the difference between assault/harassment and flirting. Or that he's trivializing women's reports of sexual assault by saying that being called a rapist for flirting is common. Women who say "I'm afraid of men" are most commonly talking about men's ability to physically overpower them. This one doesn't have a dire…
/r/PurplePillDebate31/10/18 12:03 PM
1

Sorry, what do you mean?
/r/PurplePillDebate31/10/18 11:29 AM
1

They mostly seem to mean Western/Northern Europe + Anglosphere. High HDI countries, excluding East Asia.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/10/18 11:26 AM
1

... Hooters is such a minor exception. The only gender-specific job in article is actor, and those jobs were obviously filled by men. I don't get the second part? The hiring committee chooses which applicant to give the job. They have the option (consciously or not) to bias their decision.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/10/18 08:00 AM
1

She is in good shape, but isn’t in top physical shape because she just started going. Yeahhh this isn't going to last. This is the gym version of crash dieting. You're going to get injured or overtrained and need to take time off anyways if you keep this up.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/10/18 03:41 PM
1

What? I said if they were only filled by men, there would have to be some factor causing the discrepancy. But they weren't, they were filled roughly equally, no conspiracy there. You are the one who is proposing that there is a conspiracy against men to take their jobs.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/10/18 03:27 PM
1

Oh come on. Intelligence and age have an obvious effect on job qualification, gender does not. Job offers and promotions are absolutely given by the hiring committee. If the vast majority of some set of open positions are filled by men, there's some sort of bias going on there.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/10/18 11:33 AM
1

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/toxic-relationships/201804/understanding-the-mind-narcissist ?
/r/PurplePillDebate28/10/18 05:05 PM
1

Narcissist in the sense of someone who has a fragile ego and low empathy and thus will act immorally/manipulatively towards others. The kind of person who will stab you in the back at first chance. Not someone who spends too much time on Instagram.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/10/18 10:20 AM
1

Yeah, but most people are not manipulative narcissists. You're screwing over your ability to have normal healthy relationships if you're that paranoid about everyone. Not sure the traffic light analogy quite fits here - nothing bad will happen if you never run a traffic light at 80mph, but it's probably not great for someone to have the takeaway "all women are manipulative bitches who will divorce-rape me at the first chance".
/r/PurplePillDebate27/10/18 11:16 AM
1

I don't think you were being a dick per se, you just kinda missed the point of feminism and especially the sort of radical feminism they're into at GC. Feminism is specifically about the gender-related issues that women face, it's not a catch-all for issues related to discrimination (racism, ableism, ageism, etc) and it's not the same thing as "humanist" or "egalitarian". Most people who identify as feminist probably agree that those other issues are problems, especially with respect to "interse…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/10/18 10:22 AM
1

Feminism and TRP aren't opposites though? One is a political/social movement, one is a guide to getting casual sex. The only thing they have in common is that they are both for one gender and they hate each other.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/10/18 07:26 AM
1

Question to you: Do you think that men are better than women at engineering, in general? How about any of your coworkers? Lots of men do, and this is what women notice. The clubs and events and scholarships are just a band-aid to this problem. that's bullshit. i know a lot of nerds, i've worked with lots of nerds, and i've been a nerd myself. everyone assumes everyone else is dumber than themselves until proven otherwise. Lol dude I'm not dumb, I'm capable of noticing when I (or other women) am …
/r/PurplePillDebate25/10/18 12:04 PM
1

Sorry, don't trust what assertion? I'm not going to try to pick out studies for a field I know nothing about, but: Here's the many, many follow-up studies: https://scholar.google.de/scholar?hl=de&as_sdt=0%2C5&q=stereotype+threat&btnG= /u/abaxeron's link below points to a bunch of studies pointing out issues in the massive body of stereotype threat research. The few of those I skimmed through basically said "there's a ton of studies on this and too many of them suck, make better studies if we're …
/r/PurplePillDebate25/10/18 11:46 AM
2

I always think fellow puntrepreneurs should make great compunny, but it turns out half of the fun is actually grinning like an idiot like GET IT GET IT DO YOU GET IT while everyone rolls their eyes.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/10/18 11:33 AM
1

any little girl who shows even a minor interest or aptitude for math/science/computers gets put on the fast track to STEMville Female STEM grad student, and... sorry, but no. How many people, especially the men, on this sub, would agree with the statement "men are better than women at math"? Majority, no doubt, and this isn't a rare or edgy opinion like you guys want to think. I'm not dumb - I am well aware that a lot of people think that women are bad at math, even the ones who know it's not po…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/10/18 08:03 PM
1

I think we're just debating the definitions of words now and you're trying to gotcha me into saying "yup, women are inferior", sooo, going to stop here.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/10/18 08:00 PM
1

Huh, I hadn't heard that, just looked it up! Apparently the original study totally screwed up the stats, but there's a ton of follow-up studies supporting the hypothesis. And now a literature debate if it only applies in specific situations or if it's publication bias or if the studies claiming publication bias are the ones that are wrong... Yeah no idea, psychology research is kind of a mess.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/10/18 07:28 PM
1

OK I have no idea what "women are inferior" means (how does a human being even be inferior?), but what I was getting at: hypothesis A: Women are born with inferior potential to men, and we should inform them of this fact, lest they go off and become mathematicians. hypothesis B: Women are born with similar potential to men, but if we inform them that this isn't the case, they will not perform as well as men. They would perform as well as men if we didn't tell them that. I believe B. I think any …
/r/PurplePillDebate23/10/18 07:26 PM
1

Women are slaves and men are masters? You're coming dangerously close to admitting the patriarchy exists :p Anyways, by potential, I meant the potential of someone who hadn't been exposed to messages from society about their ability.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/10/18 06:55 PM
1

I guess it depends what you mean by "inferior"? Inferior potential, no. Inferior performance, yes. Usually when men say "women are inferior", they mean as an innate quality, and are using it as justification to maintain gender roles and continue socially enforcing the idea that women have inferior potential. I think that's bullshit.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/10/18 06:27 PM
1

Yup. Look up "stereotype threat". People who are told that people in their group (gender, race, whatever) tend to perform better/worse on a specific task will actually do so. I am struggling to rationalize how some of you are claiming that women internalize messages of inferiority while simultaneously claiming that women are not inferior. ? Women have similar potential to men in lots of areas, but they get different messages from society about their abilities. These messages affect their perform…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/10/18 06:10 PM
2

I mean, yes. I still disagree that that should be called "toxic femininity" and I think that's just a poor attempt to hold women responsible and not remotely parallel to what people mean by "toxic masculinity".
/r/PurplePillDebate22/10/18 09:07 AM
2

"Beard and tattoo" vs "in a boy band" is a weird grouping of guys. Beards beyond a bit of stubble are a turn-off to me. Especially those massive hipster beards combined with a long undercut that are popular these days. This guy for example obviously has an attractive/masculine face under that beard, but with it he does nothing for me. Tattoos can go either way, as long as he cleans up nice. That's more of a practical thing than a looks thing though. This guy is cute but not someone I'd want to b…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/10/18 08:33 AM
3

I agree with your point that increasing individuality/technology is at least partially responsible for modern loneliness (what is the answer for that though?), but how is this "toxic femininity" and not "toxic individuality"?
/r/PurplePillDebate21/10/18 08:55 AM
3

At risk of ~virtue signaling~, I can't imagine a situation in which I would "branch swing" the way TRP describes it. I've been in that situation where I started losing interest but was trying to put in a last ditch effort, and it was waaay too exhausting to fake being happy. I can imagine falling into one of those situations where the relationship is broken, but not so badly that it warrants an explosive breakup, and we just stay together out of inertia. Then someone else shows up and it hits me…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/10/18 09:33 AM
3

Yeah oops, pay attention wasn't the right wording. If they want people to be empathetic.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/10/18 11:35 PM
–

Looking through /r/braincels, it's mostly stuff like guys with strong jawlines who are with "roasties" in sexual positions, insulting women who wear makeup or post dumb things about sex on social media, some actual talk about depression. There's not much direct "I deserve sex", but the sub is ridiculously misogynistic and deserving sex is kind of implied with the "look at this guy with a strong jawline getting roasties" and "life isn't fair because I'm a short guy with a weak jawline".
/r/PurplePillDebate19/10/18 05:24 PM
–

I have empathy for a guy who feels lonely and unloveable, but I don't have the time or interest to fix them unless it's someone I have an existing relationship with, and I'm definitely not going to waste any time with someone who is insulting me and spewing sexist crap. it would just take so much work and self-improvement that most people’s advice to them is just dramatically over-simplified and fails to take into account an incel’s entire history of life experiences that have led to their belie…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/10/18 04:10 PM
3

What on earth possessed you to spend 1.5 hours watching some weird guy on the internet dissect a Jezebel article? And so for you women. Is he abusive for being dominant during sex? Oh fuck off with this disingenuity though. The article was talking about choking without consent.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/10/18 03:16 PM
1

How would you define "empathy"? BiggerDthanYou's definition is basically the dictionary one. Honestly I'm legit surprised that you don't understand that sort of empathy having taken psychedelics.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/10/18 09:54 AM
1

Because men (correctly, imo) think that unwanted female attention is flattering at best and a minor, harmless annoyance at worst, and that the wanted female attention would balance it out. Hell, I'm a straight girl and I prefer unwanted attention from women than from men. They're much nicer about it. I have to ask, though - you're bi, right? How do you feel about unwanted attention from men after transitioning? Do you feel like the dynamic with straight men and gay men is different?
/r/PurplePillDebate16/10/18 11:41 AM
1

Have you been a teenage girl? They're absolutely physically attracted to teenage boys. I can imagine a situation where a 16-year-old girl finds a 20-year-old guy more physically attractive than his 16-year-old blunder years pictures, but that's for the specific "glow up" case. Those cases are overrepresented on Reddit and especially dating subs because they're full of nerds who were a bit late on figuring out how to get in shape and get a proper haircut. Older men are interesting for other reaso…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/10/18 09:38 AM
5

Depends. If he had one unusual feature that he just wanted to make look average (underbite, for example), that wouldn't really faze me. The neurotic body dysmorphia thing would definitely be a turn off though.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/10/18 08:41 AM
1

I personally do it and I have nudged friends to do it. I think the unrequited feelings from a friend situation is a little more tricky, because it's presumptuous to say "Just so you know, this is a platonic friendship" upfront, whereas it's not to say "I'm not looking for a relationship" in a casual sex situation. But I do my best to signal romantic disinterest and set boundaries. "Ethical obligation" is an annoying term because it goes down that hole of WELL TECHNICALLY THEIR FEELINGS ARE THEIR…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/10/18 09:10 PM
1

Mildly annoying I guess. I get that (American) servers live off tips and it works on some percentage of the population though, so I don't blame them.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/10/18 09:04 AM
1

When people say "be yourself" as dating advice, this is the kind of situation they are actually talking about. The alt scene is probably one of the worst to try to fake your way into. Get into it if you actually like it, unrelated to girls. Go to more shows if you had a good time, but don't pretend you're more into than you are, that's weird as hell and you'll get laughed out as a "poseur". If what you're actually after is BDSM, not indie music, just get involved in that scene directly.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/10/18 10:44 AM
1

How do you manage this? I did this during my brief foray into Tinder, apparently guys interpret "ugh texting is bullshit, let's just get a drink and get to know each other that way" as "I am down to fuck immediately, let's skip the vetting part entirely". Dude I barely sat down and had a sip of my drink, why are you already talking to me about the transportation logistics of getting to your place.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/10/18 09:57 AM
1

People generally have an idea of what kind of person they want in their head, but no one is ever actually going to meet that and you have to make some compromises. It's easier to make those compromises once you already have a bit of investment and attraction on other things. Say I go on a first date with a guy who doesn't like cats. If he says upfront he hates cats, my interest is going down. If he brings up the cat thing after a few really good dates, I think either of us could consider "weeell…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/10/18 07:41 AM
2

I think you're getting into "why is anything funny", there's some good reading on humor theory out there if that's what you're asking. The theory I liked the best was the "benign violation theory": http://leeds-faculty.colorado.edu/mcgrawp/Benign_Violation_Theory.html Basically, that things that violate our expectations in some way (the breaking of pattern that PennnyLame mentioned), but are also viewed as benign enough not to be offensive, are funny.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/10/18 07:13 AM
3

I've never made more than just friends online, but I think people mean "don't send women creepy/overtly sexual PMs" when they say that? (unless she's posting on /r/gonewild or something). Don't catcall online, basically. I have no idea why someone would put so much effort into meeting girls through PMs unless they had a fetish for shut-in nerds that they can't find IRL, but do your thing if it's working for you.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/10/18 06:54 AM
1

Oh man, that sounds totally up my alley, will check it out!
/r/PurplePillDebate12/10/18 05:20 PM
1

"Watch what they do" applies to men too. I have no idea what it feels like to be a man, but I can watch how various men react to being rejected when we're alone in a sexual situation. You can't. Some men are more "rapey" than others. I have noticed a strong correlation between how much a guy respects women outside of the bedroom and how pushy he is in the bedroom. I don't need to have personally felt male sexual aggression to think sexism is what makes men unable to listen to a "no".
/r/PurplePillDebate12/10/18 05:01 PM
1

Also, hey cool, fuck you for assuming the worst. I seriously wasn't sure how else to interpret your comment, hence why I asked. No, I don't know how men feel, that's true. I've also probably slept with more men than you, though, so I know how they react. I've had to leave guys blueballed before for various non-manipulative reasons - the last condom broke, got an important phone call, chickened out at the last minute when I was younger and new to sex, he intentionally or not did something that co…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/10/18 10:28 AM
1

Wait, are you seriously saying you don't trust yourself to not rape women?
/r/PurplePillDebate11/10/18 03:47 PM
1

IMO, it's sex with the understanding that a relationship isn't on the table. Often non-exclusive. I guess not necessarily - the one time I had an FWB we were exclusive, just with a mutual understanding that there was no future and no relationship-type expectations. I dunno if other people would classify that under "casual sex" though. To me, a person who "isn't into casual sex", there's that few month period when you're seeing someone but haven't had the commitment talk, and I would like that to…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/10/18 11:34 AM
1

It's not "male attitude". It's your attitude and you're trying to hide behind "oh it's just biology, I can't help myself!". Humans also evolved this handy thing called self-control.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/10/18 05:07 PM
1

Yeahhhh this. A lot of Americans are way too obsessed with always being better in some way. You can tell them to stop and smell the roses, but then they go out and buy self-help books on meditation and start trying to be the most mindful person in the room. I like that side of Americans when it's about things like "Hey, so I had this crazy idea..." "Sounds awesome!! Let's do it!!" as opposed to the risk-averse European "No, that won't work because...", but like... chill out at least sometimes.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/10/18 01:22 PM
1

Yeahhhh I totally know what you're talking about. Self-improvement as an industry/hobby generally targets two kinds of people (who might overlap): People who don't know how to just enjoy life and need to look at it like an RPG where they constantly level up to be happy. People who can't cope with considering themselves average and have to look down on other people to have self-esteem. I get targeted self-improvement if you're unhappy with specific areas of your life. But not those insufferably a…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/10/18 12:42 PM
6

I think I know the kinds of guys you're talking about, and I don't like them either, but I don't think they're equivalent. For context, I consider myself feminist and I generally like guys who are feminist, including ones who realize that speaking up as a feminist man can be helpful, because some men will listen to other men more than they will listen to women. "Not like the other girls" girls are usually kind of misogynistic themselves. You run into a lot of them in male-dominated fields and ho…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/10/18 12:33 PM
1

Are friendzoned guys really that dumb? (yes) Idk, otherwise reasonable people become complete idiots once they catch feelings. She's probably got a friend who has been fuckzoned by some other guy herself at some point, but is telling her "jfc girl he's just not that into you".
/r/PurplePillDebate03/10/18 12:03 PM
1

Is this self-aware satire or a serious post?
/r/PurplePillDebate02/10/18 09:48 AM
1

What? Plenty of people develop friendships with their coworkers. Harassment is harassment whether you "read the room" or not. It's only not harassment if you have explicit permission to do it otherwise. The definition of harassment is literally that it's unwanted. Otherwise it's usually just teasing/being affectionate/flirting. then that sets the precedent that anyone can try anything provided they read the room well enough ... that is already the precedent, that is how human interaction works. …
/r/PurplePillDebate02/10/18 07:28 AM
1

lol, do you seriously think you can't buy illegal drugs on the internet?
/r/PurplePillDebate02/10/18 06:55 AM
1

No one cares if you "mean well" if you don't act well. Your supervisor (correctly) guessed that it wouldn't bother you to be called baby. Basic social awareness would tell you that McDonalds girl probably doesn't want to be catcalled by customers. No one is telling him he literally "can't" do anything, there's just seriously no reason to say something to a stranger that's just going to make them uncomfortable.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/10/18 10:51 PM
1

I would just order abortion pills online like people already do in places where it's banned. C'mon, this isn't 1960 anymore, you can just buy drugs on the internet.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/10/18 10:21 PM
1

There's a general cultural consensus on these things. Look at how plenty of people in the comments here think the interaction with your boss is OK but the one at McDonalds wasn't. If you're unsure, just err on the side of caution. The world won't end if you don't call a fast food employee "baby".
/r/PurplePillDebate30/09/18 07:11 AM
1

You're reading way too much into this. Some people are just shitty in general and will be more shitty if they think they can get away with it.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/09/18 08:01 AM
1

There are some gems mixed in with the crap Just make a sub with these gems but without the crap then?
/r/PurplePillDebate28/09/18 07:37 AM
4

The #metoo thing was about saying that a lot of women have been sexually assaulted, and that it's difficult to come forward about it because a lot of people either accuse them of lying or asking for it. Not really related to "there should never be risk for women". No amount of consent training will reform violent psychopaths. Wait, are all violent criminals violent psychopaths who can't be reformed or influenced by society's values? How do you account for differences in crime rates geographicall…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/09/18 04:24 PM
0

How is #metoo arguing "there should never be emotional/physical risk for women"?
/r/PurplePillDebate26/09/18 07:33 PM
0

The legal system still functions the way it always has and should keep doing that. #metoo is generally not arguing against that. "Believe all women" basically means, if a woman comes to you and says she's been assaulted, the right thing to say is "I'm sorry that happened to you", not "You're lying" or "You were asking for it". After that, press for details/look for evidence only if that is literally your job. Maybe you don't realize this, but that would be a HUGE improvement from the status quo.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/09/18 07:30 PM
5

I don't think you can use any of those to consistently divide people who identify as RP/BP. Most distinguishing characteristic I can think of is that RP considers itself "amoral" and values dark triad traits.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/09/18 12:47 PM
2

My issues with RP come at the precise moment that they cross over from "watch what they do" to "because women (specifically women, not men) don't know themselves." (etc.) Yeahh, this. Something I've noticed about RP is that they think of themselves as the experts in both how women think (because women are biased by their own perspective and can't see their behavior objectively) AND how men think (because they are men, and obviously would know what they're thinking).
/r/PurplePillDebate21/09/18 09:08 AM
4

Is your main priority in raising kids their SMV? Uhhh. That aside, "daddy issues" usually mean a girl who didn't have a strong father figure in her life and responds by being hypersexual, especially towards older men, and clingy/desperate for approval. Anecdotally from people I've known, inconsistency (dad in her life, but emotionally unavailable or disappears for long periods of time and occasionally pops in wanting to parent) seems to be worse than total absence - intermittent reinforcement is…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/09/18 08:38 AM
1

Five seconds on Google: https://www.washingtonpost.com/graphics/national/feminism-project/poll/
/r/PurplePillDebate19/09/18 07:13 AM
1

Hello fellow person who sucks at sleeping! Zanajin's point is good, but otherwise you can try to get your sleep hygiene under control. Properly wind down at night, get some sun during the day but avoid blue lights at night, exercise in the late afternoon/early evening, don't use your bed for things other than sleeping/sex, take your magnesium, etc etc. Biggest thing for me was wearing a pair of those dorky orange blue-light blocking glasses an hour or two before sleep. Use f.lux too if you're on…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/09/18 07:38 AM
1

There are already human men who do this! It's the reason why people use the phrase "MSM" (men who have sex wth men) instead of gay/bi in sexual health contexts. Ex: https://www.mamamia.com.au/straight-men-sex-with-other-men/ Ask a gay guy who sleeps around, they've run into them. Plus I'm sure most people have heard about this kind of thing going on in ancient Rome/Greece. Not a dude so I can't speak to how appealing this is. Gen Z seem to be a lot more into the "sexuality is fluid" thing (I thi…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/09/18 06:56 AM
1

The individual and the outside culture. There's still consequences even if they aren't enforced by some official authority - there's natural consequences (drama here), social ostracization, and feeling bad about yourself. Not helping someone cheat makes sense as a moral rule to me, since I'd feel bad for the guy she cheated on. Why do you think women's sexual liberation should be immoral, though? I don't mean that hypothetically, I mean actually, what is immoral about it?
/r/PurplePillDebate12/09/18 02:51 PM
3

Security in the same sense that "secure attachment" is used, which has nothing to do with gender. Contrast with "anxious attachment", which the post is obviously about.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/09/18 06:40 AM
1

Security in the sense of relationship security - knowing that you can rely on someone and they aren't going to spontaneously vanish. Men get just as worked up about this as women from what I've seen. Not the "big strong man is going to protect me and be nice to cuddle" sense.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/09/18 01:37 PM
1

Yet another case of an RP guy taking a human quality and unnecessarily gendering and systemizing it. Literally everyone needs security, some people to an unhealthy extent. They probably had issues with feeling abandoned in the past and alienate their partners by being too clingy in the present. I don't think this is news to anyone who has a passing interest in how relationships work. Otherwise, I'm a little lost on figuring out your point. "Get your issues under control before you date" is good …
/r/PurplePillDebate10/09/18 01:13 PM
2

Less sexy than asking for consent is failing to read when someone doesn't want to do something, and then either having them kill the mood by asking you to stop, or be shaken and unhappy afterwards. The vast majority of the time, "ask for consent" basically means "don't do anything that you're not sure the other person wants to". You can mostly accomplish that with reading body language, and generally having the mindset that you shouldn't do things that the other person isn't into. You don't have…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/09/18 11:46 AM
2

Not sure why I'd treat male and female strangers differently? I try to be nice and friendly to most people. I don't think I really treat my male and female friends differently either. For a partner, it's so dependent on the individual guy. I try to watch out for what he likes and do those things. It feels kinda presumptuous/rude to just go down a list of things that girls are supposed to do and do those? Like if a guy bought me jewelry as a gift because it's a guy thing to do, I'd feel a little …
/r/PurplePillDebate09/09/18 09:54 AM
1

I didn't mean that those guys were ugly - either I "get tingles" in the first few minutes, or I don't. I don't really analyze whether the latter are "potential tingles" or "no, definitely ugly", sex just isn't on my mind at that point. Among guys who are a healthy weight and in my age range, if I think about it, I'd say the majority are probably "potential tingles" (excepting things like saying something racist in those 2 minutes, that's an immediate no). This actually seems opposite to what the…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/09/18 09:42 AM
1

When I first meet someone, I don't really distinguish between a "no" and a "maybe". There's guys who immediately pique my interest and guys who may as well be asexual. Guys can do attractive things that make me think "oh, huh, he's actually kinda hot! never noticed that before!". Sometimes when he's more in his element - with his friends instead of a group he just met, doing a hobby he's really into, that sort of thing. Maybe a different haircut/outfit. Maybe the conversation with him had been k…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/09/18 08:47 AM
1

I remember reading that this is the reason women underestimate and men overestimate on those "average number of partners" surveys. Women go down a mental list and count them out, men just ballpark off the top of their head. Idk about "crazy obsessive", I think it's just the same logic why people keep diaries (and I would guess those are majority women).
/r/PurplePillDebate05/09/18 08:29 AM
2

I'd like to know a guy's general dating history, but I don't care about a specific number of people he's slept with. Order of magnitude is enough and you can usually figure that out without asking. The only guy I directly asked was one that I knew had a manslut past. I didn't expect him to actually have kept count, was just teasing and wanted to see his reaction.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/09/18 08:07 AM
1

I think there's value in using the internet to find people, whether to date or sleep with or just platonically do hobbies with. What I totally don't understand is people who like to send flirty texts back and forth for weeks as a way to get to know someone. It's such weirdly fake conversation, because you're both trying to impress the other person, and you have so much time to pause and overthink. I'd much rather just get coffee and have a normal conversation, it's sooo much easier to get a feel…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/09/18 06:31 PM
3

Depends on your interests! If you're not sure what they are, try out everything and see what fits. Don't do something you don't like just because it's a female-majority hobby, you'll make yourself miserable and girls can pick up on that anyways. Your school probably has a fall club fair or something similar, walk around and sign up for whatever seems interesting if you don't know where to start.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/09/18 03:11 PM
2

Q1: How do you define flirting? Communicating in a way that expresses interest. Falls flat and gets awkward pretty quickly if it's one-sided. Idk if I can scientifically break it down, a lot of it involves teasing, pretending you're disinterested but in a way that makes it obvious you're interested, acting silly and kind of childish, physical contact, etc. I'll flirt if I'm interested in someone. It's kinda rude otherwise, IMO. Banter is kinda similar, but you can do it with people you obviously…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/18 09:53 AM
1

They are also most likely narcissistic or borderline. I have a good radar for these kind of people. I wouldn't give a shit if he was into me because I would turn around and run.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/09/18 04:32 PM
1

OK, from what I can tell reading your other comments, you're basing this pretty strongly on one-sided accounts from men, perhaps some of those guys you've worked with but also stories you've read on TRP. Can you see why the stories of a group that you admit are misogynist might not be presented completely honestly? Like I have absolutely no idea what possessed you to read TRP and say "yes, I think all of these posts are completely truthful and fairly show both sides". TBH I get the feeling you'r…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/09/18 04:23 PM
1

You are female, so I'm guessing you're less interested in the part of TRP that's basically "how to use emotionally abusive tactics to sleep around as often as possible" and I'll skip over that. TRP is not a large meeting of all men to discuss the truth about dating. It's a fringe community of guys who aren't doing well on the dating market (or are somewhat average but think they are failures because they aren't getting a new ONS every weekend), are bitter towards women and hold a number of misog…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/09/18 12:15 PM
2

If I search for "holding frame redpill", the top results are pretty much all stuff like this: https://www.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/7vz5y8/frame_for_dummies_what_it_is_and_ways_to_build/ I think your definition sounds way more like reasonable boundaries, but it's not remotely the same thing as the one I find TRP talking about.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/08/18 05:52 AM
1

I don't think your phrasing there is "flattering" or something most women would agree with at all. The female narrative is more that there's players (attractive but bad for you, the junk food of men), guys who aren't really dating material (obese/too much video games and porn/etc), and guys who are LTR material (but not at the expense of attraction). Not "alpha fucks and beta bucks". The idea that a woman needs multiple men to meet her needs is like... do you think I'm dating multiple guys at on…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/08/18 05:39 AM
1

Yeah, this is actually what I meant. Holding frame, from all the examples I've seen of it, is not "healthy boundaries" so much as "we play by my rules and only take my perspective into account" - like trying not to be codependent and waaay overshooting to the opposite side.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/08/18 04:36 AM
6

The answer is that the desire to have a lot of sexually available attractive people who are really interested in you and competing for your attention is near-universal, especially I'd imagine for the romantically insecure. Note that most harem and reverse-harem stories do not feature full-blown polyamory. Yeah, this. I suffered through a few of the Twilight movies for my friends (really, I have no shame about liking bad media but this genre is not one of them). It's about how Bella is just so sp…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/08/18 09:46 AM
1

Have any examples of that? I feel like there's examples where you could phrase them in ways that RP guys would say "oh, that's the same thing!" but they're talking about two totally different things. Like I bet you could write a guide to establishing healthy boundaries and not being codependent, and RP would think it's the same thing as dread.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/08/18 09:25 AM
1

Every single person I know in a happy, successful relationship prioritizes things like communication and compromise, and both try to make the other happy instead of any push-pull or dread bullshit. This includes physically unattractive people and people who follow more stereotypical gender roles. RP "works", but only if your goal is to become a bitter asshole without meaningful human connections, but at least gets to stick his dick in a lot of holes.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/08/18 09:16 AM
–

You are seriously overestimating how much other people care. You're pretty rarely going to be told to fuck off if you back off when she starts signaling disinterest anyways.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/08/18 12:13 PM
1

Yes, obviously. Feminist women don't have some weird self-sabotaging agenda to make men unattractive to us. Honestly, I haven't found a particular shortage of attractive feminist men IRL. Part of the problem is that there isn't enough healthy dating advice for men who are completely striking out. Feminist sources give lists of "don't do this" and not "do this", which is fair, given that it's a movement for women and not for getting guys laid. TRP and such bundle healthy things like "get in shape…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/08/18 05:42 PM
1

Isn't the stereotypical dominatrix customer a CEO/lawyer/whatever with a stressful job who wants to take a break from being the one to boss other people around all day? TRP has a lot of guys with hangups about their masculinity, but I'd bet you'd find more guys than you'd expect who are into that kind of thing.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/08/18 05:03 PM
4

It's nice feeling wanted, but I actually don't think that's gendered? Guys I've been with have all been pretty into me initiating and taking the lead sometimes. Good sex is usually not one-sided, that's boring. none of them have ever told me what to do Basically the guy is deciding on when and what is happening and the woman just plays along happily. I've only acted like this the first few times I was sleeping with a guy who I was worried wouldn't like me, personally.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/08/18 04:42 PM
1

Nah, not that "fucking a million cocks" (I think you might want to look up the actual statistics on N counts, though) is some part of self-development. But if you're not ready to date seriously anyways, I guess people would prefer to sleep around than remain celibate until they're ready to settle down. Does that make me a shit "immature" person? No, dating is one small part of growing up, sex even smaller.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/08/18 02:30 PM
1

Huh, personally I can't say I know too many girls who were sleeping around at 16, I'll believe you came from a place where that was normal, though. Why is it sickening, though? I think it's a bit much to expect a 16-year-old to know what they want out of life in general, so I can understand not wanting to settle down until they've figured out who they are and what they want in a partner. You sure this isn't a "those sluts who rejected me in high school should never be allowed to settle down" rev…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/08/18 02:01 PM
1

26F checking in--and someone who's legit into older dudes, always have been. First of all, what are we talking about when we say "age gaps"? Because I am often interested in guys 5-10 years older than me (biggest age gap I've ever knowingly been involved in--I don't count the one liar--was 13 years) Why are you specifically interested in older guys, if you don't mind me asking?
/r/PurplePillDebate24/08/18 01:07 PM
1

Haha really? What language, if you don't mind me asking?
/r/PurplePillDebate24/08/18 11:59 AM
4

Usually some sort of immaturity that's obvious to someone their age, but not younger than them, because a 20-year-old girl isn't going to notice when a 30-year-old guy is acting like a 20-year-old. Something like, introverted nerd/someone who went through depression, missed some important socializing years and thinks they can just redo the college party years at 30, or maybe the sort of guy who does odd jobs and sleeps on his friends' couches and smokes too much weed. Frequently jealous and cont…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/08/18 08:49 PM
1

That sounds like someone who more is impulsive or neurotic (unstable) than someone who doesn't exhibit those behaviors. What makes you think this guy can just shut off that behavior (driven by his personality/character traits) and suddenly be stable LTR material? I dunno, most of the people I hung out with in college were the impulsive adventurous types, a lot of them seem to be settling down in the direction of going on a family skiing trip once a year. You just described guy A. Traveling for l…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/08/18 08:32 PM
1

Or are they simply not relationship-minded to begin with? Is that a guy a girl would really want for commitment? I know a good amount of guys who didn't want to settle down young (although some were in relationships that they didn't take that seriously, not just sleeping around), but did when they got to their late 20's - early 30's. Your 20's are really the only time you can be completely independent and do whatever ridiculous stuff you want, get up and move on a whim, etc, so I don't blame any…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/08/18 07:59 PM
1

Having been a 23-year-old women, the types of older guys who were interested were not particularly appealing. Seriously, never met a 30+ guy into early 20's girls where my reaction was "wow, he's so great, no wonder he can date such a young attractive woman!" and not "yikes, that dude is creeping on younger girls because they are too naive to see the huge field of red flags there".
/r/PurplePillDebate23/08/18 07:20 PM
1

This is confusing to me - I'm in my mid-late 20's, and I've found the quality of interested guys has gone up since my early 20's. Two reasons: Men are far more often the ones who don't want to commit when they're young. Plenty of quality guys are not remotely interested in finding a serious relationship at 23. Guys who have their shit together are attractive. Most guys at 23 do not have their shit together. Significantly more guys at 33 have their shit together. Plus it's not always clear which …
/r/PurplePillDebate23/08/18 06:08 PM
2

"Cheating" to me is either physical cheating, sexting, any directly sexual comments, or "emotional affairs". I don't really care if he meets someone he'll never see again and has a conversation where there's some chemistry going on, but without saying anything explicitly sexual. I also don't care if he develops a crush on someone on occasion, IMO that's kind of normal and I'm not the thought police, but I'd want him to realize it and make a point to minimize interaction with that person. I guess…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/08/18 03:04 PM
1

What does that mean, exactly? What did he say, what was her response?
/r/PurplePillDebate21/08/18 03:38 PM
1

His wife sounds like the type of person who is big into putting on the "everything's perfect!" act in front of other people. I don't think you can judge too much from the outside. Why isn't he talking to her about this directly?
/r/PurplePillDebate21/08/18 03:16 PM
6

To an extent, because I understand that being in a relationship means that your partner sometimes has different things that are a high priority to them and a relationship is a team effort. Like, most guys are very capable of doing and understanding the importance of "girl things" when they see an immediate benefit to them. Male roommate who is usually a slob, but is bringing a girl he wants to impress home that night? Apartment will be spotless. Job interview? Men are suddenly capable of using a…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/08/18 01:36 PM
1

For the second thread, he was a graduate student being sexually harassed by his advisor. Getting on your advisor's bad side when you're trying to go into academia is a horrible idea, and he guessed, correctly, that he wasn't going to get much sympathy as a male victim of a "feminist" professor. This is definitely a case where men and women should be treated the same. Even without the implication of violence, there was still the implication of her fucking over his career - it's not like she was s…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/08/18 10:01 PM
1

What makes creepy behavior creepy is that it's unwanted. Escalate slowly and back off as soon as you realize she's not interested, then it's not creepy. Obviously attractive guys have the advantage that their advances are more often wanted, but they can be creepy too if the girl just isn't interested.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/08/18 12:13 PM
1

The good mothers/teachers/nurses traits are already covered under the feminine virtues section. I can't think of anything in those careers that could benefit from being spacey, insecure, illogical, or a drama queen. Could you explain that?
/r/PurplePillDebate06/08/18 10:33 PM
1

Not a fan of that trait chart, but I'll go with it for this post. Also, the article that you linked disagrees with your point: After decades of study, I deeply believe that men are not naturally violent. But in a culture that equates masculinity with physical power, some men and boys will invariably feel like they are failing at “being a man.” For these particular men and boys, toxic masculinity has created a vacuum in their lives that can be filled through violence: through the abuse of women a…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/08/18 10:19 PM
1

Primary custody? Sure, hypothetically, although I'm a bit young to be dating guys who are divorced with kids. If I'm still single into my 30's, I'd think it would be a plus? Less stress about the whole thing with fertility and being in my 60's by the time the kids graduate college and such, much easier than pursuing adoption elsewhere.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/08/18 03:30 PM
1

I dunno, switch the genders and pick some set of traits that men would get angry about, and tell me how well it would go over on places outside of TRP and MRA on Reddit. "Women prefer rich men over 6' who don't play video games".
/r/PurplePillDebate03/08/18 08:05 AM
7

People find partners with similar hobbies and lifestyles? Is this groundbreaking or gendered? When she feels like being a stoner , a rock climber, gym girl , a biker girl ....she dates a guy who does those things. This happens more than the other way around because all of these things have more men than women. Girls into female-dominated hobbies (dance, yoga, knitting, etc.) don't usually find partners into them.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/08/18 05:51 AM
10

I found the thread, and it's a little hard to tell what's going on and feels like important details are missing (also, it is a lesbian relationship, I'm not sure where alpha male dread fits into this lmao). She's got a serious martyr complex, and at least thing with falling asleep while her gf was at the ER... seriously? If your partner is sick enough to need to go to the ER, you go there with them. That she left out the reason her girlfriend was in the hospital is telling. Not that her girlfrie…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/08/18 09:05 AM
3

I'm female and the no-sex situations are a little bit gendered, but I'll do my best: I would leave immediately if a partner cheated. I'd do what I said in 2-3. Talk about it, don't be a dick but also make it clear no sex in a relationship is going to end it, bring up therapy too. If nothing works to fix it after giving it some time, end the relationship. I wouldn't induce any sort of "dread" because having a mutually supportive/open relationship with a partner is more important to me than an ant…
/r/PurplePillDebate31/07/18 01:26 PM
1

Yeah, I guess I'd want to see a track record of dealing with your depression when it relapses. Not to be a downer, but it will at some point - depression that serious is a thing you manage, not a thing you get cured. I might be cautious from having dated a guy with depression, who was having a really good phase when I met him, but then crashed and refused to get treatment. Not a risk I'm ready to take again personally.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/07/18 12:39 PM
1

Sometimes people can get past cheating, sometimes they can't. Up to Robert. Candice can help by understanding it will take him a while even if he can move on, agreeing to solid boundaries and sticking to them without exception. Usually the curfew/demand your gf check in with you at a specific time stuff is kind of controlling, but in this case it's reasonable to rebuild trust. Or Robert can just say "hell no" and walk out immediately, his choice. 2-3) Not too different. How they made it THAT far…
/r/PurplePillDebate31/07/18 12:31 PM
1

Congrats on finishing your degree and getting a job! To be 100% honest, I (a bit younger than you, looking for someone to settle down with) wouldn't be interested in someone at the point you are at right now, based on the writing in your post/comments. It sounds like you're going in the right direction, but you still have some work with your insecurity/depression, and I wouldn't feel comfortable taking that on. Hair transplant is a non-issue. Actually also, where are you from? I think you're get…
/r/PurplePillDebate31/07/18 06:51 AM
1

Depends on where in Europe, I think. I've had a similar experience moving US -> Europe. Northern Europeans are very good at leaving girls alone, they're pretty feminist and would rather not interact with anyone in public regardless of gender. Haven't traveled south too much, but French guys are way worse than Americans.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/07/18 05:10 PM
6

If it's that often that people are regularly getting upset at you, yeah, you're being way too creepy about it. Not staring is just good manners in general.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/07/18 05:02 PM
1

Edited my post above before I saw your answer
/r/PurplePillDebate30/07/18 03:15 PM
1

Yoga pants = comfy as baggy sweats + socially acceptable as jeans. Not that complicated.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/07/18 03:05 PM
1

Huh, TIL! Wonder how that exists at the same time as this "men drive themselves insane to buy an apartment ASAP" culture. Guess the "Christmas cake" culture still wins out?
/r/PurplePillDebate30/07/18 07:14 AM
1

ctrl+f china, results: 0 Really? China has an actual gender ratio problem (one child policy + culture preferring sons = female infanticide/sex-selective abortion). The end result is that women are pickier and feel less urgency to settle down, while the men go crazy trying to impress women (the most desirable quality here is owning instead of renting) and are in a hurry to settle down before all of the women get taken. I'm no China expert, but everything I've heard is that the market is basically…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/07/18 06:38 AM
3

Nah, not interesting to me. I have no idea if it's "hardwired" or not, because I've seen the biological argument be used to support being an SAHM or having an inherent power imbalance in a relationship or having harems in the other direction, and I really don't want any of those arrangements either. Nor do a good number of men in modern society. A lot of modern polyamory relationships tend to go in both directions gender-wise, if that helps to think about. The people (in apparently healthy relat…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/07/18 11:41 AM
1

people seem to only care when it happens to white women This is (unfortunately) true about everything, not just #MeToo. Why do you guys keep trying to come up with BS excuses to avoid empathizing with victims of sexual assault? WTF is "Oh, look at those low-income minorities, they didn't get any much sympathy, therefore no one gets sympathy"? It's a step in the right direction, compared to not caring about anyone getting sexually assaulted at work.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/07/18 06:23 PM
1

Not enough attraction is never going to work out, otherwise I'd be signing up for a dead bedroom situation with a guy I don't want to spend time with every day. If it's already boring in the beginning, it's not like it's going to get easier, and that’s eventually going to turn into hardcore resentment and either divorce or a miserable life. I want to settle down, but not so badly and urgently that I'll set myself up for failure. I don't feel "pickier" necessarily, just that I pay more conscious …
/r/PurplePillDebate28/07/18 05:58 PM
1

What's the reason for such a low BF %? It sounded like a low number from what I've heard guys talk about, so I looked it up, and: http://www.lepfitness.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2017/03/unnamed-8-454x320.jpg I'd guess most girls would prefer 10% to 5% guy here. I do at least, and I'm not as into the skinny/pale/weak look as I get the impression a lot of girls here are. Do you find it makes a difference with some girls? Or just for personal accomplishment? Can you even maintain that long term?
/r/PurplePillDebate28/07/18 08:43 AM
1

Sexual attraction is more or less binary for me. "Do I feel enthusiastic about the idea of sucking his dick?". Yes? Great, then the physical attraction part is dealt with. Then we need chemistry, which is a little less binary but can be more or less summed up with "do I enjoy talking to him for long stretches of time and feel like we are usually on the same wavelength". THEN there's the LTR stuff. I'm a lot more discerning about this now, in my early 20's I just dated impulsively on attraction a…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/07/18 10:47 PM
4

Male attention/respect is a big part of that too. I'm fairly certain more men listen to rap than women. But I said among the people I know, none of whom find rappers or selling crack or using the phrase "fucking bitches" unironically attractive.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/07/18 01:23 PM
3

Uhhh, I don't have a particular number I'd care about or anything. A guy whose past involves a lot of casual sex or not many LTRs would bring up some questions. "I prefer open relationships, but I'm willing to compromise for you" would most likely be a no for me, as would a guy who is sexually experienced but still needs to be taught how LTRs work.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/07/18 12:56 PM
1

I'm always wondering what sort of social circles the people here have, because among the people I know (who would at least passively call themselves feminist if asked, none identify as radfem), virtually no one is rewarding toxic masculinity. My personal dating history is pretty lacking in toxic masculinity. The type of guys who basically integrate their T-count heavily into their self-worth (most here) have the strongest opinions on this - "you guys are trying to erase masculinity!", "he's just…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/07/18 08:04 AM
1

What on earth is that non-sequitur at the bottom of your post? Did you make an entire post about incel bullying just to link to your rant about your own sex life and opinions about women's genitals?
/r/PurplePillDebate27/07/18 07:26 AM
2

Women are not going to just out of the blue say "Hey, just in case you are interested in me and not picking up on my signals of disinterest, wanted to make it clear, I don't find you attractive", because that's awkward AF. The easiest direct communication that can happen here is that the guy expresses his interest. Or maybe men will never learn how to communicate directly or put some effort into understanding social cues, and things will never change, although that situation seems to suck more f…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/18 08:50 PM
1

Sounds like a good balance of perspectives, will check those out when I get a chance, thanks! I've read some of Mark Manson's stuff, I think he gets a bit lost down the "self-improvement is bad, here is my self-improvement book" hole, but he says some really good things about dating.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/18 09:02 AM
1

Yeah, I'd edit your OP to make what you're trying to say more clear. Edited my comment above with my guess, if you missed it.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/18 08:53 AM
1

Might want to clarify that in the OP, since it sounds like you're talking about this being a widespread phenomenon (and supporting that through a few online kink communities) and the responses you're getting are just "that's not very common" (true).
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/18 08:44 AM
2

I am a little confused about what point you're making. If it's that all feminists bash men and it's hypocritical to talk about men's issues afterwards, I personally am not a member of the #allmenaretrash school of thought.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/18 08:23 AM
1

Are you asking "Why do all women have a biological imperative to be used by Chad" (yaaawn), or "Why does a particular subset of women have this one kink?" (probably more interesting IMO. I don't have a good answer because it's not my thing personally)
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/18 08:19 AM
5

Oh come on. Sure trans people are also flawed people and not holy sages of gender theory or whatever, but they do have a perspective no cis person does. You can't seriously say that none of the things in that article are problems. Funny how nobody ever finds a convenient transgender person who goes from male to female. There's great examples of this, obviously, but bringing them up right here in response to the article in the OP is the equivalent of "So I wish men took me more seriously at my wo…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/18 08:07 AM
3

Thanks, this is a helpful perspective!
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/18 08:03 AM
1

Why the hell would we? We know what will happen if we do. Thanks, this is a point I suppose I know but don't think about enough. Do you get pissed when women and more so feminists do the same to men? I mean, I said in my post that I want to avoid being the female version of that.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/18 08:02 AM
1

It is possible that men and women have separate gender-related struggles at the same time. No need to play the "who has it worse" pissing contest.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/18 07:59 AM
1

What does this look like in practice? Yeah, I can usually sense when a guy is interested, but do you really want a pre-emptive "Hey so I'm sorry, but I'm not interested in you. Also, it's kind of unattractive that you sometimes go out in public in comfortable clothes" if he isn't asking? Girls tend to do the "You're such a good FRIEND! Omg you're like a BROTHER to me!" intentionally as a less socially awkward way to get this idea across, but we get a lot of flack for that too for some reason. Yo…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/18 07:56 AM
1

Justin Timberlake with his ripped jeans, leather jackpot and bike as a good man Ideally she'd love to settle down with Henry Cavill.. but how many of those are there. it creates feelings of inadequacy and inferiority because I am not Vin Diesel or whatever. Gotta ask the real question here: how many detailed references to celebrities to compare yourself to do you have ready at all times? (sorry, just poking fun) Women are just not nice to look at, they're great to spend time with. It's such a sh…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/18 04:15 PM
1

I like this answer (and that post), thanks! Will try to be more self-aware about that. Do you have any suggestions for when the response to that post is just "obviously those hypergamous sluts like alpha men and not weak beta men, end discussion"? This is where I go into crazy bitch feminist mode, which obviously is a waste of time. Just ignore?
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/18 04:14 PM
1

Who here has done this? No one here, but it's a thing that happens and it's annoying. I don't want to be the female version of that. What do you want men to discuss in relation to this? What sort of change do you want to see with respect to these issues? How do you want to get there? What issues in particular need attention? Do you even want things to change? MRA has the word "activism" in it, but I'm wondering if they didn't mean "men's rights circlejerk".
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/18 03:36 PM
1

Yeah, most women want to be with a "good" man, for whatever definition of good. We aren't dumb and do know that men like it when you dress up cute (also everyone in society treats you better and you get to feel nice and confident looking in the mirror). But their greatest wish is to be some sort of passive object of desire for such a man? Errr... no. There's also all that like, being an active member of building a good relationship with someone and, I dunno, the entire rest of my life outside of…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/18 03:19 PM
1

This is something I feel pretty strongly about and I am frustrated that there are so few men willing to talk about it. Nothing written in that article is particularly surprising to me, but when I have initiated conversations with the sort of guys who care a lot about this stuff, they yell FEMINIST and then go back to talking about how women don't care and things are never going to change. I get pissed when men come into feminist circles and start, uh, mansplaining, about how life is for women an…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/18 03:05 PM
2

no, I don't know what the best solution is, definitely not a SWERF though. Maybe you're right about them being magnets and improving the situation overall. Maybe the existence of legal brothels increases the demand enough to make the situation worse - how many of those sex tourists in Thailand do you think would have bothered to find a prostitute in their own country? I have no idea, it's something I'd want to know more about before taking a stance Just that a lot of people seem to think "legali…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/18 07:07 AM
6

Doesn't seem to be very effective: http://www.spiegel.de/international/germany/human-trafficking-persists-despite-legality-of-prostitution-in-germany-a-902533.html (long) https://www.dutchnews.nl/news/2017/10/some-6000-people-a-year-in-the-netherlands-are-victims-of-trafficking/ https://www.reviewjournal.com/opinion/commentary-nevadas-legal-brothels-often-just-prisons-in-doublewide-trailers/ (this largely sums up my feelings on prostitution, "doesn't work, apparently". high-class escorts and som…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/07/18 10:17 PM
1

If I was a 37 year old man ready to settle down, why would I want another 37 year old when there are unlimited 27 year olds who look better and are more fertile? I'm a bit confused about this age thing. I'm 26, and 36 is too old for me, not interested. Guys in their late 30's here, is it your experience that girls a decade younger than you are interested in having your kids?
/r/PurplePillDebate24/07/18 05:41 PM
1

Educated guess from reading the posts of people here. Perhaps not literally all (NAWALT and all that), but... generally speaking, dear.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/07/18 10:08 AM
1

but their greatest wish is to be the object of desire for a powerful man Every woman here: no. (insert male hamstering here)
/r/PurplePillDebate24/07/18 09:38 AM
5

Of course those traits are attractive, just not at the expense of being an asshole. Most girls I know consider falling for guys like that something that young/naive/potentially low self-esteem girls do. It's a thing you fall for once or twice when you're 20 and then you grow up and roll your eyes when you run into them again. Probably related to RP guys thinking there's something impressive about sleeping with 20 year old girls at age 30 - once 30-year-old guys are actually in your reasonable da…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/07/18 08:10 AM
1

"They do not want to have an honest talk about gynocentrism" "I want to have an honest conversation about gynocentrism" "I'm not interested in discussion" Errr ok.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/07/18 05:20 PM
1

It's a tough point because, while I agree men's issues (education gap, criminal justice, etc) are important and need to be taken more seriously, I feel like when I give an inch of that to MRA types, they take a mile up to "see, men have it so much worse than women, even a woman admits it!!! we don't need feminism anymore!!" which is just like... one, no, two, can't we all be in this together? "Gynocentrism" is frustrating because it completely passes over the fact that, while women have advantag…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/07/18 04:45 PM
1

In the sense of "why are you here", I think attraction, gender, and dating culture are interesting topics to discuss. I'm going to shoot myself in the foot by saying this in front of people who are so staunchly anti-feminist, but it's not always completely politically correct, so there's not a lot of purely "blue" spaces to discuss it. I do think that the "blue" side gets a good amount right, obviously. I wish there was more space for nuanced discussion with people who have at least a bit of com…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/07/18 04:22 PM
1

Can people on this sub shut the hell up about abusive relationships unless they've actually been in one or read about the psychology of them with an open mind? Women do not stay with abusive men because they are so attracted to how alpha he is. (this isn't a gender exclusive thing either, read the stories of men who have dated women with BPD) It's why serial killers get love letters and offers of marriage in prison, from women who find them "romantic" and think they can "fix" them. People with a…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/07/18 12:27 PM
3

Once or twice, in the context of also having positive relationships with men? No. Consistently? Yeah.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/07/18 12:05 PM
1

From what I've seen, FWB relationships can work out, but a lot of them have a time limit. Either one person straight up catches feelings, or you end up at this weird point where the emotional intimacy goes up (lying in bed with someone naked can do that) while neither person actually wants a committed relationship, especially if they're the only person you're sleeping with. Not my thing, gets too messy and I just don't have a particularly strong drive to sleep with someone I'm not into, but powe…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/07/18 09:22 AM
1

Wait, did I understand you correctly? "I show little pieces of vulnerability and if she reacts positively and doesn't appear to be playing games, I consider her dating material"? This is what the vast majority of the population considers normal dating behavior.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/07/18 09:03 AM
1

Idk if you're getting at "welfare is rape" or "let's redistribute women's bodies" but somehow I don't think it's going to be a great conversation either way.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/07/18 10:24 PM
1

Eh, it's a lot easier to give out friendship than sex. It's not that hard to get lunch with someone or invite them to a party if they seem kind of OK but lonely. If a girl notices you're lonely but isn't into you, what should she do? Give you pity sex or something? I mean everyone deserves love and belonging in the abstract sense, the world can't practically give it to them unless someone else is interested though. Plus I think a lot of the backlash comes from the fact the lonely guys are often …
/r/PurplePillDebate22/07/18 02:15 PM
6

Sounds fine? If you're going into biotruths and "every relationship should be like this because evolution" I'll personally kick you out of the feminist club though. I do get the impression there's at least some "I have low self-esteem so I'm going to intentionally put myself into an abusive situation, so I can gain purpose by walking on eggshells around my husband's temper" in RPW which is like... I mean it's your life, but if you were my friend I'd want to shake some sense into you.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/07/18 02:05 PM
1

You're being WAY too hard on yourself. Redpill has some good bits here and there, but ultimately it's a bunch of theories made by dudes who didn't know how to get laid, not indisputable fact. Talk to people who don't use the word "hypergamy" on a regular basis about if they think there's an epidemic of women dropping guys that they're attached to the moment a guy who is more physically attractive comes along. Plenty of normal dudes figure things out (including you, apparently), the Chad Hypergam…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/07/18 10:20 AM
1

Everyone should be able to feel like a valuable person. It gets problematic with "deserving" sex because there's necessarily another person involved who has autonomy over their body. It has nothing to do with wanting to make guys feel hate themselves because they aren't tall or stylish or rich enough. It's that you don't get sex as an automatic reward for checking off boxes if the other person doesn't want it.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/07/18 09:35 AM
1

Dudes see the anti-discrimination campaigns and not the discrimination itself. Look at the attitudes in this sub towards single mothers. You might think they're rare, but ask yourself, how many of you guys would express those views publicly in mixed company? Assuming you have any social competence, you won't. And neither will the media, for the same obvious reasons. Doesn't change the fact that they face actual discrimination and disdain from people in real life. edit: not to say that single mot…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/07/18 11:00 PM
1

Ah sorry, misread your post! Grad school isn't a death sentence, just make sure you know what you're getting yourself into. If option 2 is a job that's going to eventually earn $90k, it sounds like the chances of you "ruining your life" are pretty low either way. Plus if the PhD ends up not working out, mastering out is usually an option, just that "I don't know what else to do" is a horrible reason to start one in the first place.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/07/18 01:13 PM
1

Man, you've drank waaay too much of the redpill Kool Aid. Do you seriously think all of the cute girls who don’t date that guy are settling? What. I don’t think I’ve ever dated that guy, and I have certainly dated guys I could not keep my hands off of. Suppose a girl thinks "I don’t have perky D's or a size 2 hourglass shape or naturally straight blonde hair and absolutely flawless skin, therefore every guy who shows interest in me is settling". How accurate is this statement? To what extent to …
/r/PurplePillDebate21/07/18 01:03 PM
0

No idea what is with the victim-blaming responses you're getting here, neither gender is immune to this kind of thing. Ghosting is just the asshole way of avoiding properly turning someone down or having to suffer the "where is this going" conversation. I mean, what percentage of women would rather have an anonymous intellectual debate on the internet over posting on snapchat and staring at instagram? These probably aren't the women actively seeking male attention and chasing a validation high .…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/07/18 11:20 AM
1

How the hell you came to the conclusion that all women are desperate because you go on dates I have no idea. Sounds more like a self-esteem issue on your side.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/07/18 10:37 AM
2

I'm just saying there might be such a thing as TOO MANY options where solid guys start to have a tough time standing out. Are you talking about relationships or casual sex? If you're getting thousands (lmao no one has that much time for Tinder) of actual offers for casual sex, obviously you are getting a very accurate picture of your "SMV" and have no reason to consider settling there. In terms of actual dating, I think you're missing a few things: 1) Chemistry matters. Most girls with lots of a…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/07/18 10:16 AM
1

Don't do a PhD if you're "meh" about it. Grad school can break even people who are madly in love with their research and can't imagine doing anything else. Especially if you have another opportunity you're actually excited about. $90k a year is nothing to sneeze at!
/r/PurplePillDebate20/07/18 05:43 PM
1

My interpretation is that women who feel like they need protection against HS will prefer BS partners. Not that women in sexist societies are dating BS men because that's all that's there, but that the existence of HS makes BS more attractive. The argument is that women who live in more egalitarian societies are more turned off by BS, which is supported by at least some evidence. This matches my experience with people I've met living/traveling in different countries too - of course I've met some…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/07/18 10:48 AM
1

This is a good point. Part of the appeal of bad boys might just be that they fill the "protector" role - violent towards other people if the need be.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/07/18 09:04 AM
1

In fact, "statistically significant" is stat talk for a quite a weak finding. Eh, it gets used to cover up weak results but it doesn't mean that per se. It's only N = 782 for all of the experiments combined. N = 153 for Study 3, the relevant one here. I think I'm done with this discussion though - not sure you're actually interested in having your view changed and this is apparently turning into a circle of nitpicking some papers in a field we don't know to support our own sides.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/07/18 07:07 PM
1

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/11079240 http://journals.sagepub.com/doi/abs/10.1111/j.1471-6402.2006.00316.x?journalCode=pwqa
/r/PurplePillDebate19/07/18 06:34 PM
1

The article you linked is describing one academic paper (OK, the word "study" is used kind of weirdly here, it is one paper with multiple experiments). In that paper (the actual academic publication, not the news article that you linked), the authors discuss previous work. This previous work includes multiple other papers that did support the protection racket hypothesis. This hypothesis would mean: Women in Sweden prefer men who do not show BS attitudes. Women in Italy prefer men who show BS at…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/07/18 06:02 PM
1

Women prefer BS attitudes more in environments with hostile sexism. Assuming causality, the less hostile sexism in an environment (ie, the more progress feminism makes), the less women prefer BS men. I don't have the scientific data to back this up, but I have certainly met women who are upset about men holding doors or paying for their dinner, I imagine you have too. Do you know where I found them? Liberal US cities and northern Europe. Hmm.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/07/18 05:46 PM
1

Sorry for just quoting the dictionary definition of feminism in the other thread, might write up a better response later. Where are you getting your information about feminism, if I may ask? Tumblr? If you are actually interested in this stuff, read up on third-wave feminism and perhaps sex wars - people (who identify as feminists!) have been talking about the exact questions you are asking since probably before you were born. Skimming through that paper, the authors themselves mention that the …
/r/PurplePillDebate19/07/18 05:32 PM
1

Supporting feminism, "the belief that women should be allowed the same rights, power, and opportunities as men and be treated in the same way, or the set of activities intended to achieve this state". What do you think it is? Tagging your posts #allmenaretrash?
/r/PurplePillDebate19/07/18 01:40 PM
3

I think you’re arguing against the opposite point than the one I was trying to make. Sorry if I wasn’t clear! I wasn’t trying to distance myself from lonely guys - I absolutely agree that they aren’t really different from "the rest of us" and having resources to help get past their loneliness/depression is important. Having people learn better social skills is way better than isolating them further. The conflict I have as a feminist is drawing the line between "sexism is not OK" and "depressed p…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/07/18 01:30 PM
1

Yes, frequently, but I don't think attacking men is a requirement of being feminist.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/07/18 01:18 PM
1

What do you mean? Sorry, I honestly don't get the point you're making.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/07/18 11:19 AM
1

I think this might be a case to file under "women are not a hivemind". Like I am definitely turned off by misogyny in "loser" guys, but I also don't have any interest in sleeping with frat guys - there is not a level of attractiveness than can cancel out sexism for me personally. Might just be that the type of girls who are into frat guys don't really care about sexism either way, and just don't want to date "loser" guys because they're unattractive.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/07/18 08:03 AM
1

The article you linked is really interesting, thanks for sharing that. "Radicalization" is a really good for word it. As a woman (who would identify as a feminist and a bleeding heart), it puts me in an awkward position. "I wish I could get a date, I feel so sad and alone" is something I do want to sympathize with. Once it turns into hate, I have a hard time with that. Not even necessarily at the ideological level, but if someone is attacking me personally and the group I belong to, self-preserv…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/07/18 06:35 AM
1

You think he seriously had no idea that telling her to leave like that would increase his chances of getting his dick wet?
/r/PurplePillDebate18/07/18 09:05 PM
1

I don't want to say rape-y, since I don't want to split hairs about what that word means, but it does rub me the wrong way. I wouldn't have reacted the way the girl in that story did, since the "this is a bad idea" voice would have won out, but I'm human and I get the impulse. Jumping from hot to cold on someone like that is going to give them some serious emotional whiplash. He's intentionally throwing her off balance to manipulate her. If he had rejected her without making a point to hit her s…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/07/18 08:40 PM
12

Having ever cheated is a hard line for me. Can some people learn to be faithful? Yeah, of course. Do I want to be the person to test that theory? Hell no. There's a lot of iffy stuff that might be OK with sufficient evidence that they've changed, but you can't reasonably prove that you're not a cheater anymore.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/07/18 04:44 PM
0

Some posts of both types are probably real. There's a remarkable amount of /r/thathappened on TRP though. I would guess if you're posting creative writing exercises to get internet kudos, you're probably not going portray yourself as a rapist over acting like you were so suave that she was begging you for it.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/07/18 02:24 PM
1

Man, I dunno, you sound like a nice dude. Not a "nice guy", but like the kind of guy that isn't creeping anyone out. I'll bet most girls don't have a bad word to say about you even if they're not into you. It's really weird if you keep trying to play up some kind of twink-ish sexuality as you get older, yeah. But there's not really any reason you can't integrate being a kind, down-to-earth sort of guy into your adult personality. Might help to stop putting pressure on yourself to be a "stoic man…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/07/18 08:56 AM
3

I am quite certain that women biting off men's noses is not a daily occurrence in the UK. If you're going to make an argument about sexually-motivated crimes that result in disfiguration, the gender statistics are really not on your side. Honestly man, this is a really weirdly specific obsession you seem to have there. Might want to spend a bit less time on incel forums.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/07/18 08:24 AM
1

OK, I'll give you that one - that is all kinds of fucked up. Mocking/blaming a sexual assault victim is seriously not cool. The good news is that this is a very, very rare occurrence, apparently even moreso if you don't live in Thailand.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/07/18 06:59 PM
1

Huh, interesting, hadn't thought of it that way! I'd say it's that secure people have a much better ability to be vulnerable. They'll walk away from someone who hurts them, but it will actually hurt, since they opened themselves up and gave the other person the ability to hurt them. Avoidant people would avoid ever being vulnerable in the first place, thus avoiding giving the other person a chance to hurt them. "Nexting" and the abundance mentality are good examples of this - according to RP, yo…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/07/18 05:43 PM
8

This doesn’t fit my experience at all. More of an introvert/extrovert thing, not related to gender. I think there might be a bias here in that Reddit is full of introvert men and are more likely to observe extrovert women in their lives (friendship paradox, at least partially).
/r/PurplePillDebate17/07/18 08:37 AM
12

One thing (among many) about any friendship involving women (FF and MF) is that there's a lot more feelings-sharing. Close female friends pretty much always know about things like what their girlfriends fight about their boyfriend with, how they get along with their coworkers, what their deepest personal fears are, etc. My impression is that close male friends are more quietly there for each other. Like they'll be physically there and do something together if a guy, say, gets dumped, but they're…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/07/18 06:37 AM
1

Is it desirable to be secure? Yes, although I really don't like the attitude that people who didn't develop a secure attachment are somehow irredeemable damaged goods. Does consuming RP ideology make one more or less secure? Anxious or avoidant? RP ideology fetishizes avoidant attachment - be independent and push people away so that they can't hurt you. I would say at least some guys who follow it are coming from an anxious place, though. I'm not sure it appeals to guys who already have a secure…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/07/18 09:10 PM
2

I honestly can't tell if your post is exaggerated satire of RP or not. I intentionally didn't make a "well, unattractive women also have to deal with the existence of attractive men" argument to avoid getting derailed by what you just said.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/07/18 08:44 PM
3

I don't think it says anything about him in particular, it's a minor quirk that happens in both genders. Are you looking for some generalization about what this says about his personality as a whole or something?
/r/PurplePillDebate16/07/18 08:43 PM
11

Loneliness bites like almost nothing else, I'll give you that. Acting like an attractive woman all dressed up is a personal affront to you is just straight up entitlement though, sorry. OP is specifically bitter that the most attractive women date the most attractive guys. Sounds like he thinks the world owes him a girl who is out of his league.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/07/18 12:28 PM
3

How so, exactly? Being in a group is good for survival, having a partner is good for passing on your genes. Being hurt by rejection is a good incentive to act in ways that cause people not to reject us. Same as being hurt by fire is a good incentive not to burn your hand off. Isn't that maladaptive? Not necessarily? Some ego isn't a bad thing, there's the idea of "healthy narcissism". You don't want to let every little thing destroy your self-esteem, so sometimes it's good to justify things to y…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/07/18 09:32 AM
1

Entitlement, all of it. Unattractive men don't have a monopoly on "other people having things that I want". Sure, you can make an argument about biology and how women don't prioritize having a physically attractive partner as much as men, whatever. But, from a personal perspective, what about the people who still have two living parents? Got into MIT? Have jobs I wish I had? Don't have an autoimmune disease? Should I run around in constant bitterness-rage because people like that dare to exist? …
/r/PurplePillDebate16/07/18 09:06 AM
1

1) Thin/average weight, ideally athletic but not crazy ripped or bulky, either clean-shaven or short facial hair, definitely no actual beards or long hair. I have a particular thing for blond hair, and guys who are more down-to-earth than serious/mysterious. I'm not good with actor names and whatnot, let's just say I wasn't watching the World Cup entirely for the football if you want an idea. Adam Young comes to mind as a celebrity I'd consider my type looks-wise. 2) Yeah, to an extent - hair co…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/07/18 11:21 PM
1

No, most people mature when they realize what they're doing and what they want aren't compatible. I'm not a hookup culture person myself, but from the girls I know (and the post-hookup girltalk sessions), it's not like most of them are going around plotting to get as much Chad cock as they can right up until they lose their looks and want to settle down. They engage in hookup culture because they think it's what you're supposed to do, cry during the Uber ride home and kick themselves for having …
/r/PurplePillDebate15/07/18 03:38 PM
1

I would rather not be with someone that doesn't have the same core values throughout their life ideally. I think that blaming something on immaturity is a copout, also it leads to inconsistent and even deceptive behavior in this case. This is an odd preference to me, especially if you're talking as far back as middle school, but I suppose it's one you can have. I would be more concerned about someone whose views never changed, personally. Challenging yourself and adapting your values in the face…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/07/18 03:10 PM
1

Are people not allowed to mature? Lots of girls have, at some point, thought that sex was the way to get a guy to commit, realized that that doesn't work, then changed their strategy. It'd be like a girl getting mad that a guy used to be the sort of doormat that fixed girls' computers and did their homework, then grew up and stopped dropping everything to cater to a girl's needs.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/07/18 02:32 PM
8

Wait, are you talking about a conversation that went "Hey Ass-a-holic, could you help me with this?" "No." and then you walking away? I would have given you a WTF look there too, just because... that's weird and not how people interact with each other. Has nothing to do with gender or looks and everything to do with being antisocial and standoffish. "Haha no, stop being so lazy and do it yourself!" would have been way more normal there. "Do it yourself, you lazy POS" is obviously fine in some en…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/07/18 01:58 PM
1

So I think there's two sorts of "hard to get". The first is the RP style where you intentionally make it unclear if you're interested or not, to keep the other person on their toes and make them try to impress you. Intentionally responding to texts late, being vaguely "busy" all the time, and generally giving out your interest as intermittent reinforcement. This works, obviously, but I think it has to be used sparingly before it becomes cruel and manipulative. If done right, though, it does have…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/07/18 01:04 PM
1

I wouldn't ask someone a favor unless I actually needed it, but if he said no anyways, I'd just assume he had a decent reason and find some other way to get it done. Even if not, I wouldn't get pissy about it, because what's that going to accomplish? I think these incidents are standing out in your mind because they are so obnoxious. The times that you told a girl no and she reacted like a normal person aren't going to stick in your memory.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/07/18 03:20 AM
1

That's a good point, true. I wonder why RP-type thinking is so much more appealing to these guys, compared to advice in the vein of Dr NerdLove or Mark Manson?
/r/PurplePillDebate13/07/18 10:41 AM
1

How many people here have actually become physically fit, become more socially competent, become more goal-oriented? ... Is basic self-improvement actually considered red pill here? From everything I have seen, RP involves things like manipulation and believing in biotruths. BP involves treating members of the opposite sex as equals and being honest about your intentions.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/07/18 09:48 AM
3

As the third person in continental Europe here to disagree with you - where are you from?
/r/PurplePillDebate12/07/18 09:41 PM
1

I agree that ghosting is rude, but what is your explanation for why men ghost too?
/r/PurplePillDebate11/07/18 10:49 AM
1

Well, yeah, but I don't think there's really many examples of how that looks in reality. I've seen a lot of girls do the "oh but he stayed and cuddled after sex/sometimes we hang out without having sex/he asks me questions about my life/etc" to justify why a guy isn't just using her for sex. As if he has to be romantically invested if he doesn't put his pants on and get out of there immediately after he gets off.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/07/18 10:46 AM
1

It's a skill that develops with time and experience. Abusive relationships are a bit different - they tend to be a bit more of a boiling frog scenario. They tend to start out great ("lovebombing"), the abuser slowly pushes boundaries, then makes up for it with being loving again ("cycle of abuse"). The abuse slowly escalates over time, and the victim starts to see it as "normal". Look at someone who has been in an abusive relationship for a while - they are very shaken/withdrawn/lacking in self …
/r/PurplePillDebate10/07/18 08:59 AM
1

Psychological factors are probably a big part. 18 year old women are insecure but also excited to try new things. 30 year old women are generally more confident but probably less likely to go out partying and have casual sex. Most promiscuous at 18 makes obvious sense. The origin of that theory is that testosterone peaks around 18 and estrogen around 30 in both genders. Not 30 yet, but personal experience is that my sex drive has gone up through my 20's.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/07/18 11:51 AM
3

2, provided "low career prospects" means "more or less consistently employed, just in a lower-paying job" and not "lounges around the house all day except for occasional gigs". I would say important aspects are: Chemistry/physical attraction, compatible values and goals in life, generally being a nice and reliable person. Money isn't an important factor, as long as we aren't constantly stressed about it. Sexual compatibility is important. I would err on the side of a guy who had a more conservat…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/07/18 06:43 AM
4

Most people are bitter about their exes and have bad things to say. Everyone's ex girlfriend is "crazy". Everyone's ex boyfriend is an "asshole". Huh, a guy who says this is a bit of a red flag to me. Like, if you've had a few relationships and ALL of them were with crazy people, the problem is probably you.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/06/18 03:30 PM
3

I expect a guy to put in some of the work. All of the things you wrote there apply to men too. I would feel really awkward continuing to act the way you're describing if I wasn't getting any signs like that in return. The important part about this idea is that once a women decide whether or not she finds you attractive, it doesn't matter how your personality is like or what else you have going for you. You will never be able to win her over through game or whatever it is Redpillers think of. I d…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/06/18 03:05 PM
2

It's most fun when both people are chasing! I don't want to start 100% of the conversations and feel bad wondering about whether or not he's interested at all, but I also don't like it when a guy comes on too strong and tries to escalate before I've even had a chance to decide if I'm interested. Both people should be excited about the cute flirty texts and have that *finally* feeling when something happens. Pretty much every guy I've dated, I honestly don't know who made the "first move"
/r/PurplePillDebate26/06/18 07:19 PM
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