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Useful-Contact-2597 Archive

View 0 posts and 24 comments by Useful-Contact-2597 on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
3

It’s going to hurt but better now than later.
/r/Divorce_Men09/02/26 09:48 PM
-1

Nope. I hate that she is keeping my house.
/r/Divorce_Men04/10/25 12:43 AM
1

Just mediated my divorce, lost my house but we used the Zillow zestimate and it worked to my favor. Appraisals are for banks. Call a realtor and ask for comps. Some websites will show the tax assessment and value. Good luck. Congrats on your new life.
/r/Divorce_Men02/10/25 01:56 AM
2

I don’t know how to navigate this very well. I saw a reply asking if I would have done so earlier if she were to have custody. That is why I didn’t and still regret it. She was a pill popper but got them through a legitimate doctor. She didn’t tell me she would use a month’s worth within a week of getting them only saving 2 to ensure she had them in her system if they drug tested her. In hindsight I might have been able to get full custody but the system is not there to protect the man and hones…
/r/Divorce_Men29/09/25 10:35 PM
2

I stayed and regret it on many levels. I’ve also repeatedly apologized to my son for it. He suffered to. I am continuing to talk with him and apologize for setting a bag example but follow that up with the right way to go. Mine refused therapy, refused intimacy, was disrespectful, didn’t contribute, was financially abusive and he questioned it along the way. I let her walk all over my boundaries, I did tell her it wasn’t right but thought patience and love would turn it all around. It did not. H…
/r/Divorce_Men29/09/25 09:31 PM
1

Been here. Codependency is now called self love deficient disorder. They take everything you have including your self worth. Those of us that endured this abuse are truly trying to help you save yourself.
/r/Divorce_Men16/09/25 07:48 PM
1

Thanks for the humor. Most here have seemed fairly well adjusted to this change. I’m struggling myself. A bit angry, to be honest. I really got a chuckle.
/r/Divorce_Men16/09/25 01:42 AM
3

It is amazing what children from the worst of marriages bring in terms of thankfulness. My story concludes that to enable me to have my son I would sacrifice it all again, knowing what I know now. Regardless of how many dreams and how much money were lost and years wasted. Children are a gift above all others. Blessings
/r/Divorce_Men14/08/25 01:52 AM
1

Get a good lawyer, do as much research as you can. Most lawyers suck and just want your money, I think some even like to see us squirm. They’ll tell you how you can get what is rightfully yours and then refuse to acknowledge the shit they fed you. Lots of people view divorce like throwing up when you’re sick. It gets it out of you but it’s never fun. I just completed my divorce from my narcissistic baby mama and I got taken to the bank, lost my house and I was the only one who paid the bills, di…
/r/Divorce_Men12/08/25 10:05 PM
2

You might try a different kind of therapy; one for relationships or pre marriage counseling. After dealing with a spouse for many years who was abusive I wish I had sought out this kind of therapy. You might also look into relationship self help where you have regular check ins( I’m sure books exist). You can’t keep waiting for them to heal, you can’t be certain that the failed marriage is all they have to heal from. Sometimes people are so afraid of confronting their qualifier(that which makes …
/r/Divorce_Men04/08/25 11:52 PM
7

Thank you, that was well thought out, thorough and said. Part of the choir here. Married 24, 29 total. Working towards having her entirely out of my life. That’ll be the cherry on top.
/r/Divorce_Men10/05/25 01:46 AM
5

Agreed. I am in a similar position OP, albeit a little older. I’m still working my way through the divorce process and that was my first act in beginning to love myself again. It is easy to let go of boundaries when you’re in a committed relationship but it doesn’t make it right and you soon realize you are the only one committed in the relationship. I lived in a dead bedroom for some almost 30 years, her solution was to tell me to get a girlfriend if I wanted a physical relationship. Emotionall…
/r/Divorce_Men14/04/25 08:34 PM
1

Unfortunately they won’t do anything of those things.
/r/Divorce_Men04/02/25 09:42 PM
1

You stayed too long. Gave too much. Let a lazy narcissist paint your world view. Fortunately she was so fooled by her own ignorance that she let you off the hook.
/r/Divorce_Men04/12/24 02:56 AM
2

They are attracted to us because we are strong and maybe their goal is to defeat us to give them a sense of strength. while we give and give to show them they are the most important, they keep demanding more and we are happy to do it thinking they will reciprocate when we need. We come to find out they will not.
/r/Divorce_Men07/10/24 08:25 PM
2

For sure boundaries are a must. But it’s not enough to set them we must adhere to them. I believe that was my lesson to learn. Yeah I became codependent but that was as a result of the way I was disregarded, disrespected and broken down.
/r/Divorce_Men07/10/24 08:17 PM
1

Do your research. I read a comment on this forum about a week ago where the poster laid out an amazing amount of insight which is easy to overlook if you are in a position to want to leave. It was called, “ looking into calling it quits “ I’m not technologically savvy so that is the best I can do for you but it was well thought out and very insightful. Things like…Make sure she has a job, take over the finances stating that you want to ensure retirement is feasible, and you would like to tighten…
/r/Divorce_Men17/09/24 09:26 PM
2

I too am a saver and feel better having money for necessities and emergencies when they arrive. I would consider matching what she is spending; take it as cash and start a fund for your kid. Then you are equally spending but not being wasteful and you are setting your kiddo up for the future. If you consider it your kids fund you can consider it spent.
/r/Divorce_Men17/09/24 09:09 PM
9

That was very well put and insightful; something for the young ones and the naive. I wish I had seen this 20+ years ago. You sacrifice so much and it must appear to be groveling. While we thought by putting our family first we were being the man we strived to be, the honorable provider, respectful, understanding, patient, loving, giving, compassionate and responsible. We thought this would be appreciated and our rewards would come from a loving wife and family. We would go without to give to our…
/r/Divorce_Men13/09/24 12:34 AM
1

It starts as love, turns to duty and that duty erodes our self love.
/r/Divorce_Men21/08/24 12:10 AM
1

In my version of the wizard of oz that is what I was asking the wizard for.
/r/Divorce_Men14/08/24 12:41 AM
1

You also might try a university. They often will have programs for low cost care; usually from students fairly far along on their path to becoming a therapist. There might be a waiting list but the sooner you start moving forward the less you’ll be surrounded by the scenery that you need to move past. Every step forward is a step in the right direction.
/r/Divorce_Men05/08/24 12:49 AM
2

Yes this. If the mortgage is assumable, you assume the responsibility and keep your low interest rate. Might have a real estate attorney draw it up, but your mortgage company will let you know if it is an assumable mortgage and the process that needs to happen.
/r/Divorce_Men24/04/24 08:19 PM
1

There is a lot of value being able to stay in the home. Not yo mention the lower mortgage rate and the continued escalation in value. A lot of new expense in relocating and buying a new home. I’m in the thick of this right now.
/r/Divorce_Men20/04/24 08:59 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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