~ archived since 2018 ~
~ archived since 2018 ~
| Upvotes | Title | Category | Author | Subreddit | Date (UTC) |
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| Upvotes | Comment on | Subreddit | Date (UTC) |
|---|---|---|---|
| 1 | Even when a divorce is "uncontested" and civil it still guts me"A little better every day" thats right and the way! Its all about the small stuff stacking up. Keep stacking the days. | /r/Divorce_Men | 06/06/26 12:00 PM |
| 1 | Even when a divorce is "uncontested" and civil it still guts meMan, that's a real list. Office gym, music every week, break 90 and none of that is escape. Thats you building a life thats actually yours. The drinking one stood out to me. Going from drinking alone to kill an evening to only socially, thats a massive win. I know that one. The empty evenings were where it got me too. The best part is none of it depends on her. Its all you, standing on your own two feet. The cat helps too. What has turned it for you? | /r/Divorce_Men | 05/06/26 07:06 PM |
| 2 | Weird question, how do you guys find the motivation to care for yourselves?u/Bush_M_aster "Do it for you" never worked for me either. Felt like cold water, though I do enjoy a cold plunge these days. The reasons I used to move for were all pointed outward, at her, and when she went quiet I just sat there too. Heres what I figured out though. You didnt lose your reasons. You lost the old ones. Gym for her is gone, fine, that version of the why is dead. But theres a next you waiting and he needs the reps. And your kids are watching right now. You dont have to tell them t… | /r/Divorce_Men | 05/06/26 04:17 PM |
| 2 | How do I heal from thisu/Rileslay I read your other post too, the rage one. I know that worse this week feeling. Youre not losing it. Youre grieving in real time while she packs four feet away. Thats a specific kind of hell. Give yourself credit for enduring...it doesnt feel like it but youre getting stronger. The line that stopped me was "tied all of my self worth to her happiness." I did the exact same thing. Made her my scoreboard. So when it ended it didnt feel like losing a person, it felt like losing the proof I… | /r/Divorce_Men | 05/06/26 04:00 PM |
| 1 | In my new place. Hate my life now.u/BloodstainedBearRug Said I'd be here, so here I am. No need to reply or report in. Reach out if you need to anytime. | /r/Divorce_Men | 05/06/26 03:40 PM |
| 1 | Even when a divorce is "uncontested" and civil it still guts meu/Roll_Tide_Always I appreciate your honesty here. I certainly felt like that at time after the court date as well. It's a hard spot to be in. How are you taking care of yourself day to day now? In another thirteen months, what would be your ideal version of you be? | /r/Divorce_Men | 04/06/26 08:00 PM |
| 3 | Even when a divorce is "uncontested" and civil it still guts meu/youlefou I feel for you, man. The emotional toll that you're experiencing is grief. Check out the Kubler Ross model. Grief can be a roller coaster, as you are never in one stage completely, you move through them. But this is a good thing as it is a part of the healing process. You're mourning the loss of somebody that's been in your life, and it sounds like will continue to be in your life because of your young son. Your identity is wrapped around who you used to be instead of focusing on the … | /r/Divorce_Men | 04/06/26 07:48 PM |
| 1 | In my new place. Hate my life now.u/BloodstainedBearRug checking in with you, today June 4, 2026. It looks like you came back and posted, good. Look around this thread for a second: all these men showed up for you. You are not as alone as that apartment made you feel. And you do not have to feel better today. Nobody climbs out in a day. But movement creates momentum. So do one small thing and let it count. Coffee you actually taste. Ten minutes outside. Head to the gym. Pick one, do it. I dare you to post about it. Personally, I… | /r/Divorce_Men | 04/06/26 06:12 PM |
| 5 | She did not think it was funny...u/RunPeaceRun "Too many battlefields to fight at once" thats what overwhelm actually sounds like. And the repair doesnt come from solving the big things. You dont fight all of them at once. You pick the smallest one you can finish the fastest today and you finish it. Made the bed. Took the trash out. Walked one mile. Until your body remembers it can finish things. Start there. One thing. Then do it again tomorrow | /r/Divorce_Men | 03/06/26 05:51 PM |
| 6 | Today Is The Dayu/jdprime 30 years ended in 5 minutes. The math is wrong on that. What shows up when the courthouse doors close behind you is not easy. Mine ended without the courtroom but the after moment was the same. I hear the anxiety and sorrow you went in with. Honor it. This is gonna suck, probably for both longer and shorter than you think. That probably doesnt make sense. But it will in hindsight. Some men feel relief that doesnt feel like relief. Some feel grief on a delay. Some feel nothing for a wee… | /r/Divorce_Men | 03/06/26 05:30 PM |
| 3 | In my new place. Hate my life now.u/BloodstainedBearRug Ive felt what youre feeling. I stayed in mine. You moved out. Different rooms, same emptiness. Mine was the home we built but empty of her and empty of the furniture we picked out together. The home felt like a trap. Yours is the new place that doesnt feel like yours yet. Different scenes. Same thought you just wrote. Im still here. But Ill be honest with you about how. Not all of it was good decisions. Call 988 right now. Im saying this because I didnt. I should have. I go… | /r/Divorce_Men | 03/06/26 05:13 PM |
| 1 | How do you deal with the guilt of ending a long marriage when you have young kids?u/WellModeShift reading this with a heavy chest. I'm not going to tell you whether to do it. Thats yours. I will tell you about the guilt. The guilt isnt the same thing as the wrong choice. Theyre easy to confuse. The guilt is grief for a future you wont have and for the man you were supposed to be in that marriage. Both are real. Theyd still be there if you stayed. The line that landed hardest was "the dad who left." You dont become that by leaving. You become "the dad who showed up" by showing… | /r/Divorce_Men | 01/06/26 06:21 PM |
| 1 | M[37] “blindsided” with divorce from F[39]u/SinglePlayerOnlyPlz fair pushback. Heres the move I missed naming. When shes coming to you with something, listen, as thats why she came. The reflex to fix is real, youre right about that, and its not wrong on its own. The flaw is fixing before you fully hear. Youre answering a question she didnt ask. The move is listen all the way through, then ask "are you venting or do you want my take." A lot of the time shes venting. She wants you in the seat her best friend would sit in, which is a good … | /r/Divorce_Men | 01/06/26 05:38 PM |
| 5 | M[37] “blindsided” with divorce from F[39]u/4L0H4 reading this with my coffee on a Monday morning. How are you holding up? I read through your replies in this thread before commenting. Most of this sub will hand you the easy story. She cheated. She monkey branched. She rewrote history. You didn't take the bait. You stayed with what you actually saw. Most men never do that work. Seven years ago I sat in an empty house three weeks after I moved her out, staring at walls, replaying every conversation I shut down with a solution. I was the … | /r/Divorce_Men | 01/06/26 12:52 PM |
| 3 | Avoiding ex on special occasionsu/Kind-Number-419 I had the same feelings toward my ex. The rage, the financial devastation, not wanting to be in the same room as her. I get all of it. It went so far I almost missed Thanksgiving with only my family because of the story I was telling myself about what showing up would mean. I was wrong and grateful my brother forced me. But there's a theme here. Do you see it? Every time you miss one of these events (daughter's 21st, son's orientation, son's high school graduation), that's some… | /r/Divorce_Men | 30/05/26 10:27 PM |
| 1 | LonelinessYour kids, place, son's cat. Yeah, man. The loneliness shifts, but not by itself. Time alone doesn't heal it. What you do with the time does. And you have to want it. The pain you're describing, missing them, missing the place, the cat, is it the things themselves, or something underneath them? What have you done differently since? | /r/Divorce_Men | 30/05/26 03:58 PM |
| 1 | Divorce is coming and I'm not sure what to do.lostseaking09, that is rough to hear man. No man wants this kind of new from his wife. It is not fair and often comes out of left field. Im going to push back on the responses to your post below as they sounds like men who are divorced and not who/where you currently are. Their comments could be true. They also could not be true. Be wary of the stories you are telling yourself right now. This is their truths and not yours. Also, what you believe in this moment could push your wife one way or ano… | /r/Divorce_Men | 30/05/26 03:45 PM |
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