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Vahlir Archive

View 0 posts and 15 comments by Vahlir on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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10

First thanks, second hang in there. Nothing someone is going to say, your ex or any friend or counselor, is going to make you feel better and take away the pain. I started pacing because the first thing my wife did (2 days after telling me she didn't love me any more) was "go to her friends house" for the weekend, took her phone of my phone plan and turned off "find my location" on all her devices (we generally used this so we could coordinate timing things for the kids and finding one another, …
/r/Divorce_Men06/10/25 02:33 AM
14

Wanted to ask what worked for you? What things you found moved the "process" of recovery and rebuilding along? What things did you "work on" yourself? What work do you suggest people do to move forward? here's my story: I'm (47) 3 months into the separation, 2 months into the divorce (uncontested so far - getting custody, house, no complaints she's basically just walking away/affair) Doing a ton of reflection on myself the past 2.5 months. Started with bargaining offering to change to make her h…
/r/Divorce_Men06/10/25 01:08 AM
7

men are also not mind readers....
/r/Divorce_Men23/09/25 09:57 PM
8

Nothing and you didn't make it to 20 and probably there were good reasons. You need to let go man, it's not easy but move on. It shouldn't have any significance to you. I understand that's "tough love" talk but really it's the truth. There's nothing good you can get from bringing it up. It won't make you or her feel better. and to be honest I'd be concerned if I was wife 2.0 that you're bringing it up, it means you've still got some healing to do and processing.
/r/Divorce_Men17/09/25 10:54 PM
2

how much do they cost and what do they do? Do they like enforce when someone is supposed to take the kids? or when someone can NOT take the kids? My ex seems to have little interest in taking the kids/visitation at the moment, mostly just walking away. I'm keeping the house and she lives in a 1BR apartment and argues she can't take the kids at all, which is fine I don't mind taking them but getting out of the house is a bit hard when I have the kids 24/7.
/r/Divorce_Men05/09/25 09:41 PM
1

yeah I'm lucky that I have a strong support group of like 7 people I've been. leaning on. Medication can definitely help take the edge off and bring down the racing heart and upset stomachs and help with sleep. Time only heals if you do the work IMO. Try to avoid ruminating about things by keeping yourself busy if you can, I know it's hard I found walking to be extremely thearputic, Doesn't take much focus to just put one front in front of the other and the nice weather cheered me up. Besides wh…
/r/Divorce_Men13/08/25 06:22 PM
2

Thank you. I'm determined to find happiness even if it looks like nothing it was in the past, and maybe that'll be even better.
/r/Divorce_Men13/08/25 09:51 AM
3

stay strong man, keep working on you. I'm only 35 days into this. Every day is a new day. One foot in front of the other, stay on the path. You'll get there, or maybe you are, I don't know. But just wanted to say good luck.
/r/Divorce_Men13/08/25 09:50 AM
3

sorry to hear, together for 26, married for 10 and my STBX just had an affair last month and "fell out of love with me" completely blindsided, I'm much better than I was last month but my reality was shattered.
/r/Divorce_Men12/08/25 09:48 PM
4

did you find it hard to find women who didn't have kids who were interested in dating someone with kids? It's something that's nagging me as I go on this new venture, I have 3 kids 7-9-15 And I worry that it's a huge obstacle to someone Now my kids are my life and that's that package deal but I worry finding someone accepting of that is going to be really hard
/r/Divorce_Men12/08/25 09:46 PM
7

thanks for sharing. As someone just starting to go through the process, hearing there's success on the other side really helps. because right now it seems pretty hard to picture a happy future.
/r/Divorce_Men12/08/25 09:42 PM
9

47 here (46 STBXW) married 10 years, been together for 26, have 3 kids blindsided me last month with "I'm no longer in love with you" Mine's been having an emotional affair for months, maybe the last year and finally acted on it physically. To ease her guilt she told me she no longer loved me and gave me a list of "logical" reasons we shouldn't be together. She wants to chase a new life, going out and doing what she wants with her "freedom" She has mentally re-written our history ot make it noth…
/r/Divorce_Men12/08/25 09:41 PM
6

yeah emotional affairs that lead to physical are pretty common (with coworkers) from what I've read. Sorry about your case. Hope you and your son are doing better. yeah she lied about there not being anyone else as well, she was never good with communication and I think it stemmed from fear of confrontation of any kind , so she bottled things up, I didn't know and then had a whole host of reasons to leave and justify her actions. That's on her and it will resurface one day I'm sure. For now I'm …
/r/Divorce_Men11/08/25 08:28 PM
18

too soon for me to comment on what the outcome is as we only separated a couple months ago when she became a walk-away, divorce is on going and she had an affair with a co-worker. All the best advice I've gotten is to worry about making yourself better and distancing yourself as much as possible from her emotionally. it's really hard at times, I know I'm in the middle of a divorce I didn't want. Same thing, wife's losing weight, going to the gym, going out with friends, staying at her single fri…
/r/Divorce_Men11/08/25 04:56 PM
2

hey as someone heading into divorce - could you name a few things that you feel are important to document - things I might have missed or you missed and wished you hadn't? Mine will be no-fault, there's been no infidelity that I'm aware of
/r/Divorce_Men29/07/25 07:09 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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