~ archived since 2018 ~
~ archived since 2018 ~
| Upvotes | Comment on | Subreddit | Date (UTC) |
|---|---|---|---|
| – | Undesirable men should be taxed morePrecisely this. When I look at the whole birthing slump, I tend to square it with "people who don't believe in the future anymore" As generalizations go, I think it fits more than it doesn't. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 18/08/26 06:12 AM |
| – | Men who complain about not getting laid are making things worse for themselves and then it will only be used as fuel to make fun of them.Simple as that. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 17/08/26 06:18 AM |
| 1 | Women should approach men more often.Women can take over having to make decisive moves, but you have to give them what they want too. Men must contribute to create an open atmosphere that feels safe and fun. How do you do that? By being extrovert, friendly, connective, ready to exchange some brief words with everyone, and you do. When this condition has been fulfilled, you will definitely note the change. It can happen spontaneously at a pub night, when chance has made it so that there's a majority of friendly talkable people aroun… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 17/08/26 06:13 AM |
| 1 | In their attempt to talk shit about women, men end up talking shit about themselves.Err.. it's sort of catching on and turning into a whole thing nowadays. It is a good out for the type of young man who's neat, clean, well-mannered and orderly, yet appears very boring to same age women. To the 30+ crowd, he's lamb meat. If he's a little anxious and innocent-seeming, some of them will even fetishize that. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 15/08/26 09:48 PM |
| 2 | We’ve become so obsessed with proving our masculinity that we’ve forgotten what being a man actually meansI've read a bunch of gender studies junk as well as Manosphere messianic screeds. Any lightly intellectual person would read both as complete garbage, I think. Because you'll never recognize yourself in either place's male archetypes. Not once. It all reads like charicatures. Or maybe I'm just immune due to autism traits? Well, in that case, thank fuck for that. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 15/08/26 09:37 PM |
| 5 | We’ve become so obsessed with proving our masculinity that we’ve forgotten what being a man actually meansWould be easier to forget about it in case there wasn't a very loud and nested movement with medial reach that insists everyone constantly questions masculinity and femininity, wouldn't it? That forces the concepts stuck in our heads. The winning move is to turn a deaf ear to that, as well as the opposite side and refuse to associate with it. Lol, I've never encountered myself by reading any gender studies claptrap or masculinity coach garbage. It's all trash. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 15/08/26 09:31 PM |
| 1 | We’ve become so obsessed with proving our masculinity that we’ve forgotten what being a man actually meansMen have learned to clam up because they've found that it isn't safe to share. How could it be when a very dedicated movement for decades have drawn up 100s of hate-narrative charicatures for men "the deadbeat, the Peter Pan, the anal pedantic, and so on"? The behaviors are evident in this sub. A guy makes a claim. A woman doesn't like what she hears and then tries to armchair psychology forth a reason why the guy is a perfect failure of a person. We'd be idiots to let you know who we are. We qu… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 15/08/26 09:26 PM |
| 2 | Reproductive Risk Changes the Dating MarketFair point. I'm partial to the idea that we start to give this injection routinely to 13 year olds but you know, politics. If we unanimously came to the decision that no teen pregnancies should occur anyway. How do you look at the ethics of that? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 14/08/26 06:03 PM |
| 1 | Reproductive Risk Changes the Dating MarketYou do realize that nothing about my first post was about how trusted men are. Nor did I make any argument that it would make it easier for anyone to obtain casual sex without condoms. But if you're going to have a bunch of liars out there anyway, more of them being sterile should be good news, right? I'm ultimately stumped with your "The issue with this" which seems to have nothing to do with what I first said. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 14/08/26 04:59 PM |
| 0 | Reproductive Risk Changes the Dating MarketIt would depend on how widespread the method was used. In case it was common place for men to be sterile, and it takes reversal to make it happen, the case foe paper abortion would naturally lose ground. There's be questions like: Why didn't you have the procedure? Why did you reverse it if you weren't set to be a father? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 14/08/26 04:02 PM |
| 3 | Reproductive Risk Changes the Dating MarketMen have trusted women who are on the pill to use it daily, but maybe none of these men should ever have entrusted those women? No individual situation may arise where a couple has that, I'm sure. Trust. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 14/08/26 03:51 PM |
| 3 | Reproductive Risk Changes the Dating MarketI honestly see this being used more in steady relationships. The only extra concern there would be "maybe later, we'll see" type of men who just got an extra venue to stall things. And that regards the reversal. But that imo seems minor, rare and probably sorts under "pick better". | /r/PurplePillDebate | 14/08/26 03:15 PM |
| 3 | Reproductive Risk Changes the Dating MarketExactly. So in a near future (they are now making certain the reversibility, not effectiveness; all animal testing checks out though), we can just urge everyone to do it. Ambassador it hard. This also moots or at least mitigates to degree the debates about trickery, spermjacking, fatherhood/DNA testing. Things are looking up. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 14/08/26 02:55 PM |
| 3 | Reproductive Risk Changes the Dating MarketId protected health service apps? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 14/08/26 02:52 PM |
| 3 | Reproductive Risk Changes the Dating MarketI estimate the procedure wouldn't be allowed on younger than that probably. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 14/08/26 02:51 PM |
| 4 | Reproductive Risk Changes the Dating MarketExactly. It gives MEN absolute control over if anyone can get pregnant by him, and ending his infertility to have children requires a lot more deliberation, time and unanimous decision. It creates a great symmetry. Before pregnancy, he controls it completely. When pregnancy happens, it's her body her choice obviously. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 14/08/26 02:49 PM |
| 10 | Reproductive Risk Changes the Dating MarketIn some cases perhaps, but every man complaining about abortion, child payments etc will be asked why they haven't done the procedure, I hope. Being easily reversible, this is drastically different from vasectomies that should be treated as final decisions. For a steady couple it's a game changer. She doesn't do any hormone altering pills He isn't stuck with condoms (which on rare occasion tears) I think it should be pushed hard when accessible. With fathers taking their sons to clinics at their… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 14/08/26 11:47 AM |
| 23 | Reproductive Risk Changes the Dating MarketI read all that but I think, rather than pursuing paper abortions we can target another part of the chain. RISUG/Vasalgel has been held back but it seems to finally break soon and hit the market. For those that don't know, it's an injection that blocks the spermatic ducts on men. Testing seems to indicate it's fail proof provided the medical procedure was done right. What this would do is, in a sense, give the man full reproductive control. The only way you'd even have a pregnancy with him is th… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 14/08/26 11:36 AM |
| 2 | "Don't make dating/relationship your goal" is the worst advice possibleWith some modification. As a guy, you may still be stuck in the position of having to take certain initiatives and decisive steps most of the time, and cannot leave as much to serendipity as women can. As a compromise, you can remove the deliberation but still aim to charm people a little, when you have the chance. Because that can cause women to take initiative sometimes, but you're not waiting on that, nor are you expecting it. Also, spend more time becoming a precense that matters in your soc… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 14/08/26 10:43 AM |
| 0 | Finding a partner when you're outside the mainstream—whether neurodivergent, niche in your hobbies or interests, or unconventional looking—requires skipping standard dating scripts.Do you deem it possible for a neurotypical person to love an autism-trait person like that? Or is it rational for autism spectrum men to pre-reject the idea, and to refocus to only a pool of people with other neurological variations? Sure, that's very drastic. It treats neurotypical women as a big blob of people with generalized thoughts, tastes and desires, but perhaps that's useful to a guy like that, I mean. That they can then put their focus where odds are more in favor. On this sub I've onl… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 14/08/26 09:09 AM |
| 2 | Finding a partner when you're outside the mainstream—whether neurodivergent, niche in your hobbies or interests, or unconventional looking—requires skipping standard dating scripts.This debate can be a bit funny because it deals with the sometimes arbitrary division between normies vs. the atypical and where to draw that line. I fondly remember a debate meltdown where an autist-traits person claimed he dated, but only ever within his very particular interest spaces, which were also riddled with other neurologically varied people. The NTs(presumably) were much offended. This guy first of all stereotyped most other peoples as "normies" and pre-rejected the possibility to eve… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 14/08/26 08:16 AM |
| 5 | The "Loneliness Epidemic" isn't owned by men. It needs to stop being framed as a male-exclusive problem. Mostly to stop arguments that women are expected to fix it for men.That thought will land eventually. Once it becomes undeniable that a lot of the men not dating aren't hopelessly inept but a varied group of men who've made a half-active / half-passive choice to not complicate their lives with dating, then they will be the next fall guys. There'll be talk about how they fail in their civic duties, how their brains are completely capitalist and inhuman, how it's right to assume they are misogynist, and whether they should be punished soon with a bachelor tax. As… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 14/08/26 07:13 AM |
| 1 | The "Loneliness Epidemic" isn't owned by men. It needs to stop being framed as a male-exclusive problem. Mostly to stop arguments that women are expected to fix it for men."why don't they eat cake?" | /r/PurplePillDebate | 14/08/26 06:58 AM |
| -1 | The "Loneliness Epidemic" isn't owned by men. It needs to stop being framed as a male-exclusive problem. Mostly to stop arguments that women are expected to fix it for men.These people wouldn't understand class analysis if it hit them in the face, that's for sure. But embarassing for them to say the least. They've been disparaging a group of people and it turned out to be the poor. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 14/08/26 06:56 AM |
| 2 | How far do men go to feel worthy of love?Pfft. Not my empathy. There was a whole slew of articles a couple of years back about women outnumbering men in colleges and unis.... because 60-40 gender ratios made it so women couldn't find men to hook up with at campus get-togethers. Established (old) media and academia offered those women empathy beyond the point of self parody. Because the biggest, most serious question when male education levels drop sharply is..... who will those poor female students date then? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 13/08/26 07:59 PM |
| 2 | How far do men go to feel worthy of love?Fully agree in response to OP. It gets silly though when richer women lament there's too few affluent bachelors. Or that the college educated strictly needs someone else college educated. Can't they just do what men do and date down a notch in socio-economic (or educational) standing if the pickings are that slim? At any rate it doesn't seem like anything to waste empathy on. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 13/08/26 07:37 PM |
| 2 | The "Loneliness Epidemic" isn't owned by men. It needs to stop being framed as a male-exclusive problem. Mostly to stop arguments that women are expected to fix it for men.The first (published) articles are from 2017-2018 and you're linking one from 2025. Come on now. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 13/08/26 07:30 PM |
| 8 | The "Loneliness Epidemic" isn't owned by men. It needs to stop being framed as a male-exclusive problem. Mostly to stop arguments that women are expected to fix it for men.Err.. no. The starting point for the Male lonliness epidemic debate was all old media who jumped upon some statistical data about lowered coupling and sex frequency, and then eagerly speculated that men's failures to break with old gender roles was making them lonely. Boston Globe magazine, Times Magazine, a few more ran with it before it became an internet stock-phrase. I'm certain trad-slanted media ran with their own interpretations, and that online grifters have since accepted the descriptiv… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 13/08/26 07:17 PM |
| 1 | Your internal thoughts are not an excuse for your external behavior.Why would anyone shut up in anonymized spaces? I meant specifically conversation where you're identifiable and you might suffer real consequences. There's plenty topics men never speak up on there. So they are already following your advice of shutting up. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 13/08/26 06:43 PM |
| 3 | The "Loneliness Epidemic" isn't owned by men. It needs to stop being framed as a male-exclusive problem. Mostly to stop arguments that women are expected to fix it for men.Hah! Don't put that trainwreck debate on men please. It was a grift in order to repackage ideological indoctrination about "toxic masculinity" and such concepts, but now disguised as "care" and with heavy helpings of gaslighting. It turned out that by articles shaming men progressively(?) lost it's edge, and Tate hadn't been interesting for a while so.. It's honestly more of a universal lonliness epidemic hitting various groups unevenly and perhaps in different ways. Too complex to easily analyz… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 13/08/26 06:18 PM |
| 2 | How far do men go to feel worthy of love?I don't get it. Men in that situation find women in similar economic situation or below. Is OP one of those fall-from-middle-class guys? If so... Date down class-wise. Upset your parents in the process. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 13/08/26 06:08 PM |
| 1 | Men should stop trying to get women to like them.Exactly. Par for course then, and subsequently nothing to talk about. Doing so would be suspicious. Well, as a dad of that generational change, I will say you'd be stupid to express anything personal on the matter. Those deadbeat/lazy dad narratives will never go away and are still hammered almost daily so. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 13/08/26 04:50 PM |
| 1 | Men should stop trying to get women to like them.Lol, You would very much not like Sweden then, I can tell you that. An army of tidy men with good home making skills, carrying kids in Babybjorn or stroller, and nearly all suspiciously tight-lipped on these matters. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 13/08/26 03:55 PM |
| 1 | Your internal thoughts are not an excuse for your external behavior.Not around this space I don't. I believe those guys are called beta and simp more often? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 13/08/26 03:38 PM |
| 1 | Your internal thoughts are not an excuse for your external behavior.Do you see many "I'm a nice guy but" in this particular space? I can't say I do. The RP:ers are firmly against that thinking, very quick to call it wrongheaded. I do however see the inverse sometimes, people explaining why insensitive "bad men" have an advantage. But then the speculation as to why that is varies a lot. Where I do think you have a strong point when debating that is when you explain that those girlfriends tend to be not very nice people themselves. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 13/08/26 03:35 PM |
| 1 | Your internal thoughts are not an excuse for your external behavior.For the last time, they bring it up strategically to win discussions. It's in bad faith more often than not. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 13/08/26 03:19 PM |
| 1 | Your internal thoughts are not an excuse for your external behavior.They do not seriously engage with the concept of what makes a good man. And they probably don't assume it as an identity for themselves. Though I do expect there's a few vulnerable ones who're hoping (in vain) that someone would validate their personhood in a way they can believe. Nevermind. That's good fodder for your next post, anyway. The fact that they're only using that as a debate tactic, to try and win arguments about gender, most of the time. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 13/08/26 02:12 PM |
| 1 | Your internal thoughts are not an excuse for your external behavior."Are you saying the majority of men are bad people?" No, I said that when men raise arguments and allude to groups of "good men" in debates, it isn't certain they include themselves in that definition. It should be added that there's more definitions. A lot probably think the identities good/bad man are too meaningless, relative and academic to adopt either. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 13/08/26 02:04 PM |
| 0 | Your internal thoughts are not an excuse for your external behavior.Because when men say things like "women overlook good men" and things like that, they're not speaking about themselves necessarily. Those are generalized claims. If you think that's code for "I'm a good man, why does noone date me!?" then you're making a leap, and a wrong conclusion. EDIT: As for the other question. Everyone has thoughts and questions about who they are, what they want to be, and what they stand for. But why should we men let women and public discussion in on our thoughts about … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 13/08/26 01:18 PM |
| 1 | Men should stop trying to get women to like them.Wrong. The other side of the coin is, never brag. Men, in order to not be eagerly torn down by a culture that is just dying to put us in some "dysfunctional/worthless man" category need to discreetly learn competence in certain areas, telling nobody that they are. No expression of struggle, and no "Aha! I've figured out an ingenious way to do X", and no expressing what it does to your identity. When facing doubts Google or chatGPT for solutions but don't speak. Why? Because there's 1000s of narr… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 13/08/26 12:56 PM |
| -1 | Your internal thoughts are not an excuse for your external behavior.This is much too late, you know. A lot fewer men seek to be morally absolved by women/progressiveness/society, whatever. Very 2010s The idea that there's no meaningful understanding for men is now, by many, elevated into fact. And neither is claiming the "Good man" identity appealing to anyone. Why? Make one positivistic claim about yourself and there's 1000s of ready-packed narratives to tear you down and label you a failure anyway. And this is by people who are addicted to the "good person" id… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 13/08/26 12:45 PM |
| 1 | Men should stop trying to get women to like them.Seems to be equal then. Women use machinations to plant ideas. Men will also pick up advice that makes sense but will never credit the source, because they didn't very much like the source's tone. Lol, and that's as good as the communication gets. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 13/08/26 11:57 AM |
| 0 | Men should stop trying to get women to like them.A thing though. There's something like ego and pride. Men might make constructive changes in their habits but never ever admit it had anything to do with appealing to women. In fact, they may even lie to themselves and reframe "Nope, I'm only doing this for me and don't care what people think." lol. That good enough? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 13/08/26 10:48 AM |
| 1 | Guys who struggle with dating show a common problem: Motivated reasoning.That is weird honestly. I also wonder why cold approaches are talked about so much online. I'm not sure people are even doing that anywhere near to the extent that they talk about it. If we're talking about people that are that isolated and maladapted, we should probably be a bit more careful. Like you said before. I mean, I have a fix but it's dangerous: Get a super intense service type job. Also say yes to every after work outing there is. If you stick to it, keep the social pressure constant … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 13/08/26 10:30 AM |
| 1 | Guys who struggle with dating show a common problem: Motivated reasoning.That's obvious, and the feedback they get may teach them it's not a great approach. But sometimes they need to discover that first hand, and that's allowed. Interestingly, a lot of the guys who psych themselves out of never trying have typically ran hundreds disaster scenarios in their head already. Not all of that is wasted time. Ironically, they may be doing a lot better than they think, asking that friend out, or mingle a bit with the people at the bar. But men psych them out because they wan… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 13/08/26 09:55 AM |
| 1 | Men should stop trying to get women to like them.That's fine as a starting point, but you still need to be a little deliberate in your interactions. If not, you'll wait for the woman who chases you, and she might only come around every 3rd year or so. It's different if you are in Sweden for instance where scales tipped. People were ridiculous in their respectful distance that many women gave up and started pro-actively chasing a lot more. So, if you're not going to try and appeal, but still noticably put yourself in the path of women, what to … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 13/08/26 07:53 AM |
| 1 | Guys who struggle with dating show a common problem: Motivated reasoning.But there's a problem balancing that. Because what I see is that the advice delivered runs mostly on "What if this guy offends against someone?" on the side of female advice givers. Even though there's nothing in his post to suggest he would (if there is, he uses words as "foids" etc. then yes, I get it). Most of the time it's someone who admits to being socially behind, and is then treated with hypervigilance which will most likely discourage him from trying. Why not just lie down the baseline … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 13/08/26 07:06 AM |
| 1 | People trying to shame women into relationships with bi menI honestly don't know but the fetishisizing part ends if she gets that relationship and time passes. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 12/08/26 09:42 PM |
| 4 | Why Non-bluepill men in this sub care so much about whatever feminists are consistent with their beliefs or not?I can only answer for myself but I find that when a feminist idea becomes universalized and people no longer jump on it reflexively with a frantic "Oh but everyone must remember that the primary victims of this are women!!", things start to work. Take the idea about bodily sanctity and not violating people's physical boundaries. That morality is now naturalized, and post-feminist in the sense that nobody cares about the gender of who did what to whom. The intersectionality AKA hypocrisy is now a… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 12/08/26 06:02 PM |
| 4 | People trying to shame women into relationships with bi menAnd do you know the very simple answer to that. "Yes, that is likely because I'm a little bit homophobic. Though I'm aware of it and mindful not to treat people different otherwise. Still won't date any bi men though." What is women's obsession with the "I are gud person" frame? Drop it lol. Come down to earth already. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 12/08/26 05:02 PM |
| -1 | People trying to shame women into relationships with bi menYeah, weird that. Why would I even want to be with a woman like that? I'd rather be with the one who says "Ooooh you're bi. My yaoi collection, let me show you it" | /r/PurplePillDebate | 12/08/26 04:50 PM |
| 1 | Women using men for money and resources is normalised by society.The more life insecurity, the more people convince themselves they are interested in partners that just so happen to be more affluent. The way things are going, we'll turn out the same. For the time being, the underclass is largely ethnified though so the pairing native+migrant is statistically very uncommon. That's naturally been framed as racist, in case you were wondering. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 12/08/26 02:57 PM |
| 3 | Women using men for money and resources is normalised by society.This is unrecognizable from a Scandinavian standpoint, from which I hail btw (Hello!) The base culture is collaborative and sort of genderless when it comes to that. Underneath it there's protestant work ethics and heavy implied shame on both male and female slouches who can't keep up. (That's a downside sometimes for other reasons) But it's not measured in money as much. Rather: equal time and effort spent on the relationship/family unit. Provision (money contribution) does seem to matter more … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 12/08/26 02:34 PM |
| 1 | Guys who struggle with dating show a common problem: Motivated reasoning.I've lived with that and made the breakthrough of half-way not giving a shite about those shortcomings. Allowed myself to go from oversensitive to lightly insensitive. I've briefly upset people with my behavior. I don't remember those incidents clearly, because it's irrelevant. I've falsly presented myself as easy-going and uncomplicated to score one night stand, only to discover Nope! Sensory overwhelm, need more grounding and assurance. No guilt whatsoever for my ED and ruined expectations for… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 12/08/26 08:52 AM |
| 1 | Guys who struggle with dating show a common problem: Motivated reasoning.That's reasonable really. Of course noone needs to put up with it, but then they need to be able to tell the person off sometimes. And the told off person should accept it instantly but, and this is my addition, if he feels embarassment or shame over it, that's honestly an emotional failure. It means that he doesn't accept himself, or that his concern for others is overdone. (The latter part I don't see women confront) PS. Pardon the phrasing "laugh at them". I meant more "laugh at the absurdity… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 12/08/26 08:42 AM |
| 1 | Guys who struggle with dating show a common problem: Motivated reasoning.Indeed. Autist men should be out there, ass up approaches until they learn. We should generously laugh with them, and celebrate their courage. Be thankful also that they bring unusual and unpredictable elements to our stiff norm based environs. And the autist should take every new mistake as serious input but not feel guilty at all when he honestly had no ill intent. And the fact that a few women get weirded out for less than two minutes because he acted strange, eh, screw it. They'll live. What… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 12/08/26 08:12 AM |
| 5 | Guys who struggle with dating show a common problem: Motivated reasoning.Only curious because I think I have found the fault line. You can say openly what you found appealing in a man, but you wouldn't advice him into something that has the potential to disturb and irritate a few women in the process. This is where many men and women diverge in their advice. The individual guy's chances vs. public interest. Say he isn't socially skilled in spite of being 25, should he never start because of the horrific offense that someone may be disturbed with him for less than 2 m… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 12/08/26 07:58 AM |
| 2 | Guys who struggle with dating show a common problem: Motivated reasoning.There's truth to this. Embittered people readily repackage what they're told as insults and condescencion. But women are also in a conflicted position when it comes to this because, on the one hand you have this guy's chances, and on the other hand "What benefits women at large?" and these two don't necessarily align. Becoming an interesting dating option is in parts about breaking expectations and go against social and community rules. To stand out. Women's larger ambition though is that men sh… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 12/08/26 07:41 AM |
| 5 | Guys who struggle with dating show a common problem: Motivated reasoning.The question is if you enable men to take shots, even as you don't know what wider impact that will have. Could you say to a guy that he should be a flirt, give women invites, and if it freaks some of them out and a few react strongly, just laugh at them and walk away. Learn social graces in real time, and don't care about the potential fallout. Everyone's allowed to. If there's a conflict between bettering his chances, and molding him into something convenient for most women (that he will not d… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 12/08/26 07:19 AM |
| 1 | Having good morals has never been implied to be sexually attractive.Yes, to some degree. The person I'm with asked and pryed a lot about how I feel about matters. Long before she was even on my radar. The fact that I appreciated her as a caring person weighed heavily in the decision to give dating a shot. Feel free to frame it as "men need to be coddled" though, but idk. maybe some of that is a viable strategy for women who don't want to be pursued for sex only? That's another discussion though. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 11/08/26 11:11 AM |
| 1 | Having good morals has never been implied to be sexually attractive.Good morals, being very nice and considerate can matter a lot, just... not in the dating arena we usually consider. But when you look at a nerdy harmonious couple where both are 3's or below, that was very often a selling point. Both wanted to escape into the arms of someone safe, caring and emotionally dependable. I don't think they considered the other physically offputting/repulsive (that doesn't work btw) but rather in neutral territory... until it wasn't. Because over time they'll begin ass… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 11/08/26 09:06 AM |
| 6 | Having good morals has never been implied to be sexually attractive.Yet they seem to get offended if the man self-declare as an uggo first, and is then shit out of luck. You cannot say that either apparently. Then the same women run into narrative protection mode. "How dare you generalize women." and infer that there exists lots of women who, through their unique individualism, particularly wants their men short, chunky, balding and with babyface. At which point it gets a little ridiculous. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 11/08/26 08:30 AM |
| 1 | Men, would you truly be open to a truly egalitarian relationship where neither partner is expected to fulfill a certain role based on gender or traditional gender roles based relationship?Fulfil a certain role? That's funny. I speculate that in a society where people around commend you for that, it would matter, but in 2026?? It doesn't exist. You don't get any deeper sense of fulfillment from clearing brushwood for hours or pack your kid's lunches. It's all just stuff that needs doing. Parenting and home making stuff you need to be a little careful with though. Always be competent, never show a moment of uncertainty, that you're overwhelmed, or on the contrary that you're very p… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 11/08/26 07:27 AM |
| -1 | Most above average men want kids and I think a lot of women that want a child-free life don’t fully realize that.That's strange.. A lot of men can attest to bring treated better by women for being married fathers. Maybe that's respect more than attraction though? It honestly doesn't matter. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 10/08/26 03:45 PM |
| 1 | What would you have preferred instead of MeToo?Lynchings may have gone down, but that should likely be because of less people familiar with violence, and physical interaction overall. Also the fact that you can character assassinate someone online so much easier. Ever since Metoo started, I knew it would mutate, that the same methods would be adopted by other groups with other sets of principles and targets. That happened, because it always happens. People don't read nuances like "Oh, by these groups, and in these select situations, this met… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 10/08/26 08:12 AM |
| 6 | Men being unmasculine is not mainly shameful because "woman bad".Sure, but can we differentiate between men murdering others for not being masculine enough, and those who did "because he was looking at me the wrong way!"? Aren't those just the same uncivilised mad dogs that should be locked away for good or... just put to sleep? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 09/08/26 09:00 PM |
| 0 | Chasing “Strong desires” is overrated.Err, nah. Then you just switch to other activities you still can do. Pick up writing, create some art maybe. You could be doing a local community thing or two. Besides, your looks go much sooner than that. What? Are you going to stand there at age 50 in front of the mirror and go "Baawww, I was never as pretty as I would've wanted to be, and now it's too late!" I can dig up a bunch of pieces written by mid-age women who whine and complain over that change. And consider then for a second that the… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 09/08/26 08:13 PM |
| 0 | Chasing “Strong desires” is overrated.Restrictive? It should be freeing rather to feel that your primary value comes from achievements, adult fortitude, lived morals aso. No company of regular men cares about whether you're ugly or has a pretty face. They care about your proficiency, your competence, your generosity and good natured humor. We shouldn't adopt the looks-identity game from women. That is adopting insecurity and weakness. Pursue looks if you want, but only regard it as an asset. It might be useful and worthwhile for wha… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 09/08/26 07:47 PM |
| 4 | Chasing “Strong desires” is overrated.And it's also unmanly. "Please look at me like an irresistible piece of meat!" That shit yearning needs to be hard-surpressed for life. It's coquettish and the worst of femininity. Classic masculinity isn't right about everything, but it is right about that. It regards good looks in an instrumental fashion like "what does it get me?". Much like how a sales representative work with their looks, because it can up their numbers. That's all. And that's the manly answer. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 09/08/26 05:56 PM |
| 1 | No one is entitled to intimacy in marrige, but they are entitled to a healthy relationshipNone of your examples hold up. Cancer treatment and gender reconstruction are entirely different scenarios. Surely you can see that? And all hormone treatment otherwise are geared towards compensating for deficiencies, not creating them. And you know what? People have tried. I saw a sub in the past where men have asked this only to get talked down, treated as if they were just suspiciously self-destructive. Their discussions were about blindsiding therapists so they could get Zoloft and score th… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 08/08/26 11:17 AM |
| 1 | No one is entitled to intimacy in marrige, but they are entitled to a healthy relationshipHaha! You're making shit up as you go along. This doesn't exist. Lowering T and also using anti-androgens does the job but at some non-negligible health risk. (Weight gain, depression and lots more). This is done on people with criminal paraphilia so the man must essentially go in with "Hi, I'm trying to keep myself from molesting children" to have a viable shot. Otherwise the outcome would be endless psychological interrogation about him and the marriage itself, still landing in that he should … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 07/08/26 05:19 PM |
| 1 | No one is entitled to intimacy in marrige, but they are entitled to a healthy relationshipMore sex is not the ONLY solution. And your example is on par with the relationship counselor and the wife ganging up on the man, insisting he starts with viagra and various programs so... pretty moot. I just presented one which was neither: A slight bit of reasonable distancing + channeling (hobby/project/artistic pursuit) What do you personally find offensive with the idea that the woman might lose something too, as the relationship goes chaste on her decision/inability? That's something peopl… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 06/08/26 11:32 PM |
| 1 | No one is entitled to intimacy in marrige, but they are entitled to a healthy relationshipI stand corrected. I did say "withdraw all light intimacy", where "all" seems.. unnatural when you stop to think about it. And wasn't what I had in mind, so apologies for that mistake. No obviously, a swift hug or ruffling someone's hair doesn't tie directly to sex for most men, I would wager. Because those are chaste expressions more often than they aren't. But there will be things that men in that situation may declare off limits. One of the most common ones relates to the bed. This man does n… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 06/08/26 07:33 PM |
| 1 | No one is entitled to intimacy in marrige, but they are entitled to a healthy relationshipPeople will differ on what they think a healthy relationship looks like, but I'd define it more like "entitled to a relationship that isn't resentful, unreasonably taxing, or down right abusive." Not all marriages stay sexual, for many reasons, and men (more often) should be prepared that one day it all ends. You're not doing that anymore. But hopefully then, he's only a few years behind and will feel the hormone deficit, to which point it won't matter much anyway. But women also must accept tha… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 06/08/26 06:06 PM |
| 1 | No one is entitled to intimacy in marrige, but they are entitled to a healthy relationshipTrying to follow your reasoning here and I'll throw a curveball.. See, what happens quite often is that men that get rejected like this start to withdraw all the light intimacy that SHE wants then. He might get seriously engrossed in an exercise regime or hobby that doesn't include her. Which also separates their shared time a lot. The thing is, that is a viable way of dealing with it. Desire is channeled into other pursuits. Touch is avoided if it reminds you of sex you cannot have... ...but th… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 06/08/26 05:05 PM |
| 3 | Men not enjoying being single and alone makes it easier for women to have power over them.I don't think they need to be male-coded in the sense that it gets exclusive. I find it working in smaller company, where everyone knows each other and are happy spending time together. 3-4 guys maybe. When it becomes larger than that... there's always some guys who feel "but I'd rather be with a woman tbh", so they use their time in-group to measure status against other men, poisoning the whole thing. Because that vaguely feels productive, conducive to fuck someone, somewhere, down the line. Ha… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 03/08/26 10:23 AM |
| 2 | Brutal truth: as you get old and the more you fail in relationships, higher chances you'll die aloneBut how old are you? You don't know how harsh (or many times: surprisingly not harsh) it can be for people up in the ages of you aren't even at that point in your life. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 02/08/26 01:13 AM |
| 8 | Brutal truth: as you get old and the more you fail in relationships, higher chances you'll die aloneThat reading is a little overdramatic, but seem to align roughly with statistics I've seen. You read it entirely as a result of dwindling opportunities and assume the demand(desire) remains a constant. The truth is, people also lose interest, and this accounts for a lot. Dwindling hormone, the time spent single (or in an unfulfilling relationship). The solitary lifestyle calcifies after a while until the benefits of relationship seem way too expensive, compared to the effort it takes to make roo… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 01/08/26 03:32 PM |
| 4 | If you want your moral character to matter in dating, you have to also care about character in others.So now we don't speak to them you say? From my first post: "Reserved women meet men mingling about, who exchange a few words with them, but then soon depart again." That's called "checking the temperature" and leaving if it appears low = accountability. That is precisely what accountability looks like. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 01/08/26 02:51 PM |
| 5 | If you want your moral character to matter in dating, you have to also care about character in others.And with you it's always the guy, thinly veiled with "some guys" to seem discerning. I just described an obstacle to communication. And if shy/reserved/non-expressive women must learn to stick their neck out, or be overlooked, then that's a sign of progress. It's a sign of things becoming more cautious and respectful, not less. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 01/08/26 02:17 PM |
| 4 | If you want your moral character to matter in dating, you have to also care about character in others.There you go again isolating one sentence, and then go on to build a strawman. In the very same post I mentioned guys do engage with these other women, but they are low-key, not very responsive, don't contribute with much energy to the interaction. Or it takes a damn while. Disengaging with such a person soon is most often the right move. The likely answer is that she doesn't want you around. Sorry to all the good natured shy wall-flowers, but we had consent discussions and that means nobody wil… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 01/08/26 11:27 AM |
| 7 | If you want your moral character to matter in dating, you have to also care about character in others.Yep, this. Lots of young women do what they're told, do well in school, are orderly and probably moral (but let's not assume). They make no effort whatsoever to put themselves in the paths of men, and the rational assumption men do is to conclude they're not very interested then. I mean, when I was single, I tried to be open and connective with mostly everyone, but I wouldn't set my eyes on someone unless they held me in conversation for starters, and injected life into the exchange (laughs, ban… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 01/08/26 09:26 AM |
| 4 | Spamming Cold Approaches is a dumb dating strategy.I understand that reasoning, but it ignores the fact that the "social glue" is pretty much dissolved in most places. Now, you'll definately stand out being open and connective in neutral places. Not like it used to be. I'm not saying it's impossible though but then you really must overpower it with attitude. Almost like you genuinely have to be this oblivious surfer dude himbo, who every morning when he wakes up gets hit right in the face by the universe, walking outside. He sees something fasci… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 31/07/26 12:23 PM |
| 0 | Why is it easier for men to separate emotions from sex and sexual fantasy?I think a lot of men use porn in part precisely because of how it can divert the focus of their natural inclination to fantasize about women around them (in a depersonalized manner, like you describe). Meaning, they can realign that attention to digital images presicely so they won't fantasize about women at work, people they cross by in the streets etc. It may even feel like a respectful thing to do for some. This can be especially seductive to men who hate feeling cast in an inferior position … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 30/07/26 09:17 AM |
| 1 | The real line between wanting something and acting entitled to it.It's just an observation. I find some cries for violence repugnant sure, but I also detest the judiciary system for being trivial about appalling crimes, twisting themselves to be as lenient as possible so that they get to feel "enlightened". What interests me more is the difference between men and women here. Women connect lawful men with bad attitudes together with monsters. Men draw a definitive line between monsters and the rest. Women vote for officials that muddle the lines, brings in inte… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 30/07/26 01:28 AM |
| 1 | The real line between wanting something and acting entitled to it.Well which type do you routinely call for executions, life imprisonment, doxxing, vigilante retribution, and deportations as a corrective for those that commit awful crimes? More men at least, that's for sure. Whether it's the same guys who equate "I'm lawful" with "I'm good", I don't know. I just have a feeling it overlaps, I guess. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 29/07/26 06:32 PM |
| 3 | The real line between wanting something and acting entitled to it.There is a strange additional mechanic for them. Irritable men that are technically lawful are more prone to propagate for drastic and draconic punishment for those who DO cross the line and commit crime. So that line is very definitive. Just a stray thought. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 29/07/26 06:13 PM |
| 1 | Men need to display invulnerability ratherI think it's a good start. The information does work alone. These are subject matters which telegraphs complexity, that you're a failible human being, and that you're not some "I got everything pretty much covered." type of guys. This sets tone and expectations, making it more likely that you can be unguarded later, when/if you have a relationship with this person. And even though you aren't putting yourself on the line exactly, it can still feel good when someone acknowledges that. And if she d… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 29/07/26 04:02 PM |
| – | Height for a guy actually matters?They're in a shit situation, but not an impossible one. These are guys that need to make sure they are bolder, funnier, more optimistic and warm than the other guys around. They need to strategically pick places where other men are a bit more inept and shy, so they can make sure to be the life of the party. That's a strong move. Women who have no set opinion on height, but are affected by the latent bias against short men(probably), they can easily turn. They first need a reason to look at one s… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 29/07/26 08:52 AM |
| 1 | Height for a guy actually matters?Most short guys have to obliterate all their anxieties, or get exceptionally good at masking over it. They have to be overconfident, or at least be able to overpower the confidence of the women they try to attract. You can turn the way people initially perceive you when you do that. Their preferences can bend. While other guys can afford to be seen as a little insecure sometimes, when other things check out, the short guys cannot. If it shows, it instantly gets associated with him being short, a… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 29/07/26 08:32 AM |
| 1 | Men need to display invulnerability ratherDoes someone have an award for this post right here? Take mine. It's invisible. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 29/07/26 01:28 AM |
| 1 | Men need to display invulnerability ratherSame. I did my thing, got to know someone. To my delight she thought nothing weird about any of my personal stuff. Flunked out of school, working a dead end job, no plans for the future, and lot's more. She could relate in fact. She was already in the same peculiar fandom spaces though, so I didn't need to bridge those topics. I don't know how emotional management and pre-planning your reactions early on turns everything that follows less genuine. You tell me. All I know is that people who run i… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 28/07/26 09:32 PM |
| 1 | Men need to display invulnerability ratherI understand your points, but you're mistaken. I advocate for learning to be upfront about who you are, including things that many find difficult to talk about. But what if those things aren't difficult to talk about, for you? Disclosing personal things while dating gets easy when there's no live embarassment or raw sensitivity that comes with it. Getting that kind information out early is great though. It builds a foundation that will hold vulnerability... even if the real thing isn't on the ta… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 28/07/26 09:02 PM |
| 0 | Men need to display invulnerability ratherA little overdramatic reading. I never said you have to keep doing this in a grounded relationship. Things change. But being able to be truthful about yourself early on, without really opening yourself up to harm is a great skill. She gets a good idea what to expect from you, and depending on what you reveal (comfortably, because you've done your homework), you're already building a foundation that can hold vulnerability later. The silly, sensitive and "unmanly" (according to idiots) stuff, flaw… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 28/07/26 08:28 PM |
| 0 | Not having sex is an acceptable outcomeLol OP in all his rigidity seems to think so. Funny enough, this is a classic in couple's therapy. He stopped asking. Then he withdrew light intimacy. Not to be mean, but because it becomes a painful reminder of sex he couldn't have. Now they're both unhappy and feel rejected. It all comes out in therapy. He says: "I asked 5 times and then I figured it was over. And you never initiated back." Her reaction: "Who the fuck keeps count!!" Turns out she never felt pestered before, but she does feel a… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 28/07/26 07:27 PM |
| 1 | Men need to display invulnerability ratherIf you go out into early stage dating with your real sensitive stuff on honest display, which you need people to be very nice about, you'll get smacked around hard. You'll probably retreat to your cave for months on end. But some of us can be very honest about ourselves, hit the same dud as you but barely feel a thing. We move on, easily. You let that sink in. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 28/07/26 06:52 PM |
| 2 | Men need to display invulnerability ratherI feel you bro. You carry yourself well. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 28/07/26 06:26 PM |
| 2 | Men need to display invulnerability ratherOh absolutely. I can tell you some personal examples of freeingly shameless, but some other time maybe. I just ponder the possibility that it could be genetic and inherited (aka natural). At least I can see some old evolutionary advantage. But that's all non-falsifiable, as evo-psych is. Possible but not proven. That changes nothing of course. You resist anyway. Violence is natural too, and we usually shouldn't be doing that. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 28/07/26 06:25 PM |
| 1 | Men need to display invulnerability ratherUm, sure.. could be? Idk. This was a sensitive dog you had to be a little careful with. Household was a little too loud though. My brother was a small kid then, often noisy. Lol, I speculated a little, but you really amped the discussion up to 11 there. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 28/07/26 06:15 PM |
| 2 | Men need to display invulnerability ratherThe ick-rubbish is recent and fake though. It starts with divas using it for online clout. It does two things. First it's harsh, obviously mean-spirited to provoke engagement. (Allow me to go completely lib. BluePill apologetic a sec.) "Well akshually.. it was mostly men who founded the toxic online culture with 4chan and all of that!" Fair point! Who cares? Moving on... The other thing is that ick-lists make you seem like a super hot commodity. Not just anyone is worthy of gazing on this lady, … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 28/07/26 05:51 PM |
| 2 | Men need to display invulnerability ratherThat is somewhat accurate, but I'd call it "halfway vulnerable" rather than fake. Just a little staged and extra controlled. The info is real, but all the real emotions that go with aren't on the table. More hopefully, and I didn't say that in OP, but if men start from there, they can probably often become more unguarded in the future, as the relationship gets more grounded. Baby steps though. There's some strong messaging that women are the empathic gender, and this has the effect of many getti… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 28/07/26 05:21 PM |
| 5 | Men need to display invulnerability ratherLong ago, I read a blog a licensed therapist was writing and he said precisely this. He thought that sure, it's ideal to be able to name hardships and pain to others, but that culture is lying to us by making it seems like everyone needs to spill in front of a well-meaning audience. It just isn't true. But it's crucial then to be able to clearly admit things to oneself, and judge oneself kindly. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 28/07/26 04:13 PM |
| 4 | Men need to display invulnerability ratherThe ick type of women you mention, should be weeded out at selection. It's actually in line with what I said but we can put emphasis on that. If you can talk about pains, interests you have that some find unmanly, that you're maybe bi etc. Best to lead with that almost. Shit test with it. This kind of woman is going to nope out of there anyway, regardless if you present such things confidently or not. But the difference is that if you've done what I prescribed, that situation wouldn't hurt you. … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 28/07/26 02:24 PM |
| 1 | Men need to display invulnerability ratherYes, but you can only fall apart if you also pick yourself together again, and there's a timer on that. The damning part is adding a "and I can't get up". Crying isn't shameful, but neither is it a feat. In your example, I would suspect he sinks down on the floor, wails a bit, but he needs to mostly cork that, and soon! Then go and do what he should be doing. Get in there and comfort his wife. It's the "I give up, leave me alone" part that isn't allowed. I don't abide by most masculinity norms b… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 28/07/26 12:01 PM |
| 0 | Men need to display invulnerability ratherI'm sure people can differentiate between this and very extreme events. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 28/07/26 11:01 AM |
| 1 | Men need to display invulnerability ratherI'm not sure that's true. First of all, it was scientifically proven that dogs have individual personalities. So that makes personality traits possible. Second, I had a dog that did things which certainly looked like shame at least. I gave him an empty butter carton to lick. The wooden butter knife was in it, he bit and it broke. I said, kindly, "oh, look at what you did." He saw it, slunk away, and then he hid under the coats hanging in the hall and didn't want to come out. Lol, I had to make h… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 28/07/26 10:59 AM |
| 1 | Men need to display invulnerability ratherEmotionally self-sufficient, yes. Sometimes people take that into hermit territory though and that's dumb, unless temporary. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 28/07/26 10:49 AM |
| 3 | Men need to display invulnerability ratherI would make sure to lightly spin it into something which sounds either cool, funny or interesting, just a pinch, as well as: be light on the details unless explicitly asked. Example: "Yeah, I was the autism-like kid in school. You get picked on sure, and that definately wasn't easy. But you know.. looking back, being that oblivious kid, you probably accidentally hurt a bunch of other kids on the regular, and you didn't even notice it." This was the "pivot into interesting topic, and lightly awa… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 28/07/26 10:42 AM |
| 3 | Men need to display invulnerability ratherIf you're a person who's hurting on the regular, a relationship may briefly help, but more like an emotional anestethic. Sure, that shouldn't be underestimated. It can be the exactly right boost a guy needs, but it's very temporary. This guy must then hit the ground running and fix his damn psychology. He's on a timer to get that shit sorted now. More likely, everything turns to ashes. Sometimes I've seen couples with two profoundly hurt individuals, but they tend to isolate, and there's a disti… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 28/07/26 09:43 AM |
| 2 | Men need to display invulnerability ratherI agree with what you say here completely. The challenge here if we want relations to matter more than pants-feels, looks, assets etc. we need to seriously up the personal sharing. And get excited by that. About shame, I'm not sure I agree it's unnatural, but that's just speculation. There may have been an evolutionary purpose for a social species. A sickly individual departs from the group to go off and die, and that's advantageous for the group's survival. But even if it is natural, it's somet… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 28/07/26 09:34 AM |
| 4 | Men need to display invulnerability ratherAgreed. That is a very concise way to put it mate. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 28/07/26 09:22 AM |
| 2 | Urbanization Is Contributing to Both Sexlessness and Hypersexuality.Well in that case, maybe.. Perhaps the majority gets it on sooner there, and the whole sleeping around thing doesn't quite work. The local Chad takes first pick, settles and tries to make it stick. But a lot of the couples will be miserable soon enough. There's also a group of permavirgins worse off than urban ones. Their only benefit is that friends might be more understanding because nobody can deny the logistics. They might try to build the guy up and throw him at some recent divorcee, but hi… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 28/07/26 09:20 AM |
| 13 | Urbanization Is Contributing to Both Sexlessness and Hypersexuality.I think you romantisize small town dating. What I see there is that people get together just because they're single and the right gender, then hope everything pans out. Both men and women do this, and there's a lot of divorces, obviously. No, I'd rather focus on home life with parents. Growing up, there were definately homes where the sons didn't hesitate to bring girlfriends home, locked their doors and then banged as much as they pleased. Coincidentally, these homes were lax about underage dri… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 28/07/26 08:01 AM |
| 2 | Men following other men's advices because you "don't ask a fish how to fish" is pretty stupideOnly very loosely. I have to admit that my adopted strategy that worked for me correlates a little with PUA once I looked at that, but only the skeleton of it. I did radical honesty, and placed the potentially unflattering embarassing parts up front to demonstrate being fearless. I wasn't going to pretend being, cool, masculine or anything. I'd be the ridiculous nerd who doesn't have the lick of sense to be ashamed about anything. I'm lightly autistic so, easier frame to carry, because it's most… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 27/07/26 11:00 AM |
| 2 | A man who can effortlessly get sex is exalted. A man who desires to have sex but is unsuccessful is seen as "entitled "It's nice to see someone acknowledge that this experience psychologically marks men, without immediately implying "women most affected!", and it's true. The rejected people's suffering is primarily their own burden and going "but it also affects meee!" is kind of ridiculous I think. Some posters here do imply that, constantly, and I don't get it. Seems to me they want guys with an understandably shattered self-esteem to hate themselves even more. They get blamed for entitlement for not being inv… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 27/07/26 07:32 AM |
| 1 | A man who can effortlessly get sex is exalted. A man who desires to have sex but is unsuccessful is seen as "entitled "Nice! I definately thought this was slightly cruel, akin to leading people on but yeah.. Using people to confirm your own attractiveness is something women do sometimes, so it should be fine for men to. I think more GenZ guys do that from time to time but idk. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 27/07/26 06:40 AM |
| 1 | A man who can effortlessly get sex is exalted. A man who desires to have sex but is unsuccessful is seen as "entitled "Yup, we begin to deteriorate, or get "marked" in various ways. I for instance decided on very drastic self-rejection. I got a super social high stress job, I wasn't suited for, on purpose. I forced myself to go out 3 nights a week. I used alcohol and a little benzo to manage the stress of being overwhelmed. All to hang in there as long as possible. Force a personality change real fucking fast, and not to be a virgin at 30. I was near crashing sometimes. Let myself be oblivious to danger to keep … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 27/07/26 01:12 AM |
| 2 | A man who can effortlessly get sex is exalted. A man who desires to have sex but is unsuccessful is seen as "entitled "Hey! Maybe they can do what I did. This is a tad childish bear in mind but, when I got into a steady relationship, I realized I wasn't quite done. It wasn't more sexual partners I craved, but feeling I have "IT". That turned out to be what I wanted more confirmation of. I would still put forth a very charming self, aim at making someone feel seen. Talk in a way that makes it seem like I'm definately interested, and that they had a huge effect on me... ...only to thank them for the chat and then … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 27/07/26 12:27 AM |
| 3 | A man who can effortlessly get sex is exalted. A man who desires to have sex but is unsuccessful is seen as "entitled "That happen to you alot outside of anonymous internet banter? Seen many guys out and about cry out "I'm still a virgin 'cause everyone's an asshole!" | /r/PurplePillDebate | 26/07/26 11:22 PM |
| 1 | A man who can effortlessly get sex is exalted. A man who desires to have sex but is unsuccessful is seen as "entitled "They don't start to treat women like they owe them something as a rule. Shouldn't you be more concerned about some married pricks who routinely treat their wives like they owe them an f ton of things daily? This is just online debate nonsense which typically stem from some anon having expressed "I tried being a good guy and I get no dates. It isn't fair." And then other people scream "entitlement!" on the top of their lungs. The only real life examples people can relate to are these messed up yo… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 26/07/26 11:20 PM |
| 0 | A man who can effortlessly get sex is exalted. A man who desires to have sex but is unsuccessful is seen as "entitled "I'm curious, why would dating (overall) get worse because the portion of chronically unattractive people won't get their situations "fixed"? Also, that part you write about people with disadvantages "are going to act out of desperation and bitterness." If you're implying that they will definitely victimize people, that's just hyperbole to justify them being marginalised. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 26/07/26 10:55 PM |
| 15 | A man who can effortlessly get sex is exalted. A man who desires to have sex but is unsuccessful is seen as "entitled "Are you saying there are women who want unattractive men to approach them? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 26/07/26 10:34 PM |
| 2 | Continuing a “Friendship” with a woman is not a good idea.The discussion is unproductive unless we consider the nature of the friendship. I agree with OP in case the friend dynamic is too close. If you are doing couple-like things that are inappropriate for a mere friendship. Physical clinginess, too sensitive emotional sharing and validation etc. A lot of completely-nonserious-flirting like some kind of relationship RP. That's an unsound friendship. It muddles the lines, and often isn't as innocent as it appears. He gets attracted without admitting it… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 26/07/26 08:00 PM |
| 3 | Men following other men's advices because you "don't ask a fish how to fish" is pretty stupideNobody's dating advice works because it fails to take into account what sort of approach suits your particular demeanor, style, temprament, sense of humor etc. Only if they notice you doing a thing that's repellent, or that you're clearly going for the wrong (for you) type of people, but then they must've seen it happen, and that's rare. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 26/07/26 04:24 PM |
| – | We men are setting ourselves back. And there's no excuseI absolutely don't trivialize male sa victims, but I do note that there's a group of women who routinely intervene whenever we want to spit venom publically on some child molesting witch. We do that on male violators and predators, so it's absolutely required to outrage in these instances too. But then it's not "funny" anymore apparently. Because then the women think we sound like we just want to tear down women, and were just given a carte blanche to attack. And then they, quite grossly, starts… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 21/07/26 08:30 AM |
| 1 | A man without female friends is a red flagFirst off I'm not single so that'd be inappropriate, and I'm too self-conscious to crush on anyone randomly. Outside my relationship I prefer to move through the world like a complete asexual. But that's another part of the problem maybe. A lot of women want things to be low-key flirty in spite of there being no plans to act on it whatsoever. I absolutely don't see the point of that, but I do note that they don't like it when I let that "harmless banter" fall on the floor. I guess it makes sense… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 21/07/26 08:14 AM |
| 2 | A man without female friends is a red flagWould you judge a guy for not wanting to be around people who just won't trust him for a long long time, until they do? Meanwhile, he can befriend men much faster without feeling extremely scrutinized. I really wonder why you came to the conclusion No female friends/Doesn't value women at all, and you posted this? Some of us don't want to be around people who constantly suspect we have ulterior motives, even if things could be great if we were able to fast forward into basic trust and respect. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 19/07/26 09:13 PM |
| 8 | A man without female friends is a red flagI've got female friends. Five of them, and they're all 20+ year older than me and retirement age. Same hobby and culture interests. So can I get that green flag then? I'm not interested in befriending any women my age, because I don't feel like doing that whole part which comes before being friends. That thing where I have to assure, level, constantly drive conversations, share more things about myself while getting almost none of that confidence back. All until she drops her defences with a "Hu… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 19/07/26 09:00 PM |
| 3 | The debate about age gaps in relationships reveals the double standard of blue pillers.How lucky for those 40 year old women that they get a clean "you go grrrl" for banging 19 year olds then. It gets a little harder to absolve the even older ladies who go sex touristing in Gambia but spin those gender theories hard now. There must be some way they can be labelled mostly-victims somehow? It's people like you who think it's perfectly fine and sensible that journalists routinely label female child predation as "had sex with student" when the twisted bitch is a teacher grooming a 14 … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 19/07/26 08:28 PM |
| 1 | The debate about age gaps in relationships reveals the double standard of blue pillers.Valid. And people who criticize you for that are "friends" you get rid of. The key thing is that they never have any insight into the relationship in question, they just see two numbers and have an emotion. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 19/07/26 08:13 PM |
| 3 | Assuming women are unattracted to most men, can we really be blamed for lack of attraction?Fair, but how does that contradict what the previous poster just said? This mostly seems like you wanted to point out "Hey! I'm not a snob", and yet the outcome is the same. Most guys should engage with apps like a funny casino game. It's insanely unlikely to win that way, but that isn't personal. You don't play for the chips that represent your vulnerability. You don't let your "inner child who just wants to be loved and held" anywhere near that table. Maybe you even pre-stage your own reaction… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 19/07/26 09:24 AM |
| 7 | Assuming women are unattracted to most men, can we really be blamed for lack of attraction?That poster might refer specifically to the OP and how he assumes what she's saying here is more truthful than what she'd ever tell that guy in that one-sided friendship of hers. Seems very likely. But the fact that most women won't find the vast majority of men interesting that's... established fact, isn't it? Many women here have attested to the same. They have a reactive attraction pattern and that means most men, unless they're unusually hot, they need to grow on her first. They aren't attra… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 19/07/26 09:09 AM |
| – | You can’t claim to have decentered men if you complain about men all the time.That's a trash perspective and a good example why we should banish gender studies-based policy from any school curriculum. Here, let's fix this. Everyone needs to decenter [attractive gender], and kick intimate relationships with them down a few orders of priority. Enough so to hone the relationship with the self first, and not to compromise oneself. Don't live for their approval. Sure, you may need to adapt some, meet them halfway sometimes, but if they don't do the same in equal measure to you… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 18/07/26 09:36 PM |
| – | You can’t claim to have decentered men if you complain about men all the time.But one of these groups has media sanction, when neither should probably be afforded any. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 18/07/26 09:18 PM |
| – | You can’t claim to have decentered men if you complain about men all the time.Hey Late_Painter said that "Decentering men is a general cultural policy" and implies it's a good thing. That was what I was jabbing at. It didn't have anything to do with appealing to women. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 18/07/26 09:15 PM |
| 2 | Many women say that if a woman rejects a man, he should accept it and move on, never trying again.I agree with all that, but it was a bit funny when you said "However, there is nuance to every interpersonal situation." and then proceeds to systematize it in an airtight fashion almost. Almost... Let's shut it completely. Even if she starts signalling strongly a while after, she can keep doing that until the cows come home. Nothing but her asking him out up front should be accepted now. Because first of all: self-respect > relationship. Also, in this situation, there's a heightened risk that s… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 18/07/26 07:39 PM |
| 12 | Assuming women are unattracted to most men, can we really be blamed for lack of attraction?"will that make you feel better?" Eventually, yeah? Because then we can blow a hole in the myth of attraction = the contents of your character. And move on to ask "What's next?" I personally think men should aspire to make something of their lives, but whether that means some career mastery or building a model train panorama in the basement, it doesn't matter. Men seem happier with projects at least. But "Will that make me attractive to women?" isn't something that should even enter the equation… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 18/07/26 03:04 PM |
| 4 | You can’t claim to have decentered men if you complain about men all the time....but apparently, it's medically necessary that this societal decentering drags every male archetype that ever existed down in the mud. Or at least that humility is force fed, with every lesser flaw magnified to the extreme. Aspirational male figures are not to be shown, and any attempts in modernizing the image turns to something unimpressive, like "Oooh, but he's kind, emotionally competent, verbal, and sitting with his feelings", like that's some fucking feat. No wonder there's legions of yo… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 18/07/26 02:51 PM |
| 1 | Many women say that if a woman rejects a man, he should accept it and move on, never trying again.Most often, yes. It will be emotional vampirism very likely. That contemptible flaw where there needs to be people around who thirst after her, and the loss is felt when the rejected guy detaches. Then she pulls him back into orbit because "the world must confer how hot and fuckable, I am". But.. I meant the few times when the reconnection is actually sincere, when she says "I needed time to get my head straight, but I do want to go out with you. Let's do that." If it's decisive like that, it ca… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 18/07/26 12:23 PM |
| 7 | Many women say that if a woman rejects a man, he should accept it and move on, never trying again.I wonder who's the true narcissist in that story, Jesus. Btw, did you press anyone on why they thought you were somehow responsible to reach out to them after they rejected you? I doubt that any logically coherent answer could even be made. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 18/07/26 10:48 AM |
| 2 | Many women say that if a woman rejects a man, he should accept it and move on, never trying again.This shouldn't happen, even if I suppose it can. Like, the only acceptable version of this I can see is if she turned him down because she was completely bogged down by other life stuff and wasn't receptible to anything from anyone. But in that case it is SHE who picks up the thread, and fairly soon after at that. 1-2 weeks later at most. She wasn't in the right head space, it wasn't the right time, but she thinks she might be interested after all. Even so, that sort of thing is to be approached… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 18/07/26 10:39 AM |
| 0 | men are now more disillusioned with women than vice versa.I've observed this phenomenon in subcultures that are flamboyant in nature, but not outspokenly queer, and also houses a lot of straight guys who feel like they don't fit in anywhere else. No need to make a huge ass post elaborating on that. But yes, I've seen it, heard one or two outright admit it even. These are 1-3s appearance wise, combined with personality issues (lots of autism). They bend on purpose, meet a guy in similar situation and now there's someone sucking them off on the regular. … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 16/07/26 12:39 PM |
| 1 | Why don't unattractive men want to completely eradicate their libido?It's possible, but a lot less likely he does, I suspect. It would depend on what he explains his hurdle to be and what he already tried, I suppose. But consider this, western societies recently went insane with the idea that every other kid wanted to switch gender. There's countless examples of people who ended up worse, and there's no going back. Not fully. Provided we can even kill libido, in a mostly-safe sort of way, I think there beeds to be such a route in psychiatry, first of all. But jus… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 14/07/26 08:34 AM |
| 3 | Why don't unattractive men want to completely eradicate their libido?That is definately an option too. I've not gone on any shroom trip myself but I hear it can be life changing, and do something permanent to your perception. Just the difference of making a small permanent change, can suddenly highlight all the paths and options you previously couldn't see. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 12/07/26 02:59 PM |
| 2 | Why don't unattractive men want to completely eradicate their libido?It's been fun, and unusually good for this place. Take care, and PM if you want to talk some more. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 12/07/26 12:57 PM |
| 0 | Why don't unattractive men want to completely eradicate their libido?This occurred to me too. They could be tragically shooting themselves in the foot. I didn't pay too much attention to who reacted to what but there's a world of difference between subject A: A gay 60 year old man in a homophobic country/state complains that getting a partner is complicated and takes lots of dedication he's just not inclined to go through again. He wants the urges gone and proceed to enjoy the peace of it. Valid! He knows himself best so leave him be. Subject B: A 20 year old pan… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 12/07/26 12:29 PM |
| 3 | Why don't unattractive men want to completely eradicate their libido?Lol, Oh damn. I'm found out! 😆 I'm a furry and I'm also in a fandom for Disney's Zootopia. I guess I'm careless and should consider separate accounts and selective appearance. I dabble in fanfiction, but I've not shown it off. Just a private hobby of mine.. Simulacra is... interesting, but not as a replacement. I'm married. I have a kid even. Replacement would be completely insane to me now. But I wager the robots would be like sex toys, only enhanced you know? The first times you try it, it's i… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 12/07/26 12:17 PM |
| 3 | Why don't unattractive men want to completely eradicate their libido?I think that makes crystal clear sense, and it opens up thoughts I've not touched upon. One thing that already clinches this is a real-world example. We've already obliterated boredom. And the cost of that has been initiative, focus, social resilience and much much more. I forsee something similar with the advent of realistic sexbots/AI companions, which will eventually provide an immersive experience that crosses some definitive treshold. Then we'll also lose something unforseeable, I'm sure.. … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 12/07/26 11:19 AM |
| 1 | Why don't unattractive men want to completely eradicate their libido?And thanks to you! I hastingly edited my post with a question for you, if you mind.. Namely, are you saying you'd grieve for some rejected person's artificially snuffed/dulled out sexuality? Because that struggle would no longer be channeled into something else, which you'd find beautiful? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 12/07/26 10:53 AM |
| 3 | Why don't unattractive men want to completely eradicate their libido?That's a beautiful answer borne from compassion. EDIT: One thing confused me though. Are you saying you'd grieve for rejected people's snuffed out sexuality? Can you elaborate on that? Anyhow.. I don't believe this of the knee-jerkers who stumble on those dark discussions. What I speculate is that these are people afraid and in denial of their own mortality, and fear of abandonment. Seeing people in that state turns the mirror on themselves and everything they try to push aside in their minds. I… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 12/07/26 10:39 AM |
| 2 | Men don't ask women to have low standards, they ask women to have realistic onesI think the main question here is "Doesn't anyone adjust their sights anymore?" The answer is, yes they do, but they would never admit to it. Women would never say it openly that they do. Why? Because it makes them look weak, publically. The cool discerning "I pick exactly what I want according to my standards" facade falls apart. We have real life examples of this. Some women tagged along players, got burned. Later you see her in a stable relationship with a man who's a lot less attractive, but… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 12/07/26 10:32 AM |
| 3 | Why don't unattractive men want to completely eradicate their libido?The escort idea has some merit, but only for a particular kind of late virgin man. A man who wants to do some drastic emotional self surgery. Call it constructive self-abuse. If you want to destroy the person you've been. Someone who for many years dreamed of and idealised sex, acceptance, belonging, and sharing that love. Waiting for that special someone... ...then there's no better way than to give your first time to an experience that's bound to feel fake, lackluster and sad. And that's preci… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 12/07/26 10:15 AM |
| -1 | Why don't unattractive men want to completely eradicate their libido?Medical solutions are dangerous as many here have pointed out. If there was a safe reliable drug, some single high libido guys might take it because... maybe they're coming up on a particularly intense time of studies or whatever. Then they can come off the drug easily once they passed the exam. But that's not reality. The medical options can be very destructive, putting a guy in a state where almost all emotions are numbed or flattened. If you think Zoloft addicts and other zonked out people ar… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 12/07/26 10:04 AM |
| 1 | Why don't unattractive men want to completely eradicate their libido?You can still psych yourself into benign paraphilia as a solution. It's a whip and carrot approach. Whenever you feel the tingle and pull towards a woman, instantly paint up a scenario how it ends in tears, or that the sex leaves you deeply dissatisfied and hollow. Jump straight to the bad kind of post nut clarity in your head. Banish all porn featuring real human beings and replace it with a porn diet of fantasy stuff which firmly belongs in the camp of does-not-exist-in-real-life. Animé elves,… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 12/07/26 09:42 AM |
| 6 | Why don't unattractive men want to completely eradicate their libido?I've seen that too. I've also seen others jump on them, as if caught up in some strange moral outrage, calling these men loser, pathetic and demand they clean up their act. No coherent logical thought whatsoever. I wonder what motivates these detractors. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 12/07/26 09:06 AM |
| 3 | Why don't unattractive men want to completely eradicate their libido?Would you judge anyone who'd do this though? It may be viable in the near future. Possibly a drug which more accurately nullifies sexual desire in most people, with little side effect, or.. The advancement of sex robots perhaps. This doesn't remove desire but it could be similar. Someone who reorients so much that they can only desire sex with things, and not fellow human beings. In both instances they've shaved off a part of the human experience, and they don't have to learn to carry the proble… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 12/07/26 09:03 AM |
| 1 | which one of these preferences is more moral to haveIt changes very little. Gold diggers are more often delusional, and don't have the clarity for who they are going for and why. This sounds more like a more sophisticated way at self-delusion, and probably is. "I'm seeking someone with strong character, and who has the real achievements and assets to prove it." But it's still the money that pulls, because she hasn't faced up to that she's scared of poverty, doubts her own ability to make a good life for herself. Addictions to expensive stuff whic… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 12/07/26 08:34 AM |
| 1 | Getting women to lower their standards will just trap you in a passionless relationshipThe habit of looking at the people who tend to draw eyes like unrelatable and undatable. All until, they are genuinely not your type anymore. I've met nerdy girls who have the exact same thing like me in reverse. They are instantly put off by hunky, Chad-like guys, bless 'em. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 12/07/26 07:23 AM |
| 1 | Getting women to lower their standards will just trap you in a passionless relationshipDon't worry, it calcified and realigned into preference. I now don't see anything attractive at all in women that most men absolutely would. Conforming to beauty standards does the opposite thing for me. It's even more moot now since I'm married. But it still affects who I'm likely to befriend or not. And what I actively dislike is people who's interests are drawn towards activities, hobbies, values which also conveniently confers social status, and you get the strong sense it's particularly sta… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 12/07/26 07:14 AM |
| 1 | Getting women to lower their standards will just trap you in a passionless relationshipI like the feeling of impressing someone, and it doesn't mean I find them unattractive. Most good people have something about them, and looks, social clout and achievements do next to nothing for me finding someone attractive. My sense of attraction is more reactive, like women's more often is. It doesn't start unless I'm feeling someone really likes me first, and there's safety. So I had the choice of skipping situations where I'd more likely to have to exhaust myself playing "catch up" or "be … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 12/07/26 07:06 AM |
| 4 | Getting women to lower their standards will just trap you in a passionless relationshipI did the opposite. Always aimed for women I out-shined in a number of ways. Routinely ignored hot high-status women. But when I wrote that in a comment, several female commenters found that idea highly offensive. That's really weird. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 11/07/26 09:58 PM |
| 1 | Women who choose to remain single are viewed as empowered, men are notPerhaps so. We might see eventually. My bet is that if it turns into a more visible lifestyle thing, contented male volcels, I strongly suspect there will be hit-pieces, ridicule and the usual song and dance. I can hardly think of any phenomenon that clocked in on "something men do in the aggregate" which wasn't openly attacked, no matter how benign. I think the funniest example I ever found was an article where the writer claimed that guys drinking low-fat yoghurt (apparently a small guy trend … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 10/07/26 09:14 PM |
| 4 | Women who choose to remain single are viewed as empowered, men are notI find that awful. Very sorry to hear it. Those other women sound like a "cancerous sisterhood", much like a macho-styled guy gathering. Twin phenomena those. Two flavors of ass. Gotta chase those oh-so-important milestones, and unleash the insecurities from all that on someone they consider "behind". I hope you have the option to replace them all with better people. That's what they deserve. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 10/07/26 08:55 PM |
| 1 | Women who choose to remain single are viewed as empowered, men are notWho requested celebration? Wasn't it just "Don't routinely lump the peaceful minimalist men together with the miserable incels"? And also perhaps, acknowledge that the first group even exists? However... I think your sentiment here reveals something. A man playing life on easy, calmly let's go of dating (and subsequently assuming the responsibility of a relationship), and so forth.. He's offensive in the eyes of people grinding away hard every day, I suppose. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 10/07/26 08:13 PM |
| 1 | Women who choose to remain single are viewed as empowered, men are notYou might be on to something... Hey, this Scott Galloway character seems particularly disturbed about these young men not kicking in an extra gear, manning up, or chasing women. Must be very insecure regarding masculinity that man. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 10/07/26 07:55 PM |
| 1 | Women who choose to remain single are viewed as empowered, men are notIt's a vile system. No arguments there. I just corrected you on the part that men could do whatever they want. And this is important to know if you want to destroy those family systems and enforce modernism (not post-modernism. Idiot intersectionality only brought fanatics other venues to skillfully exploit) | /r/PurplePillDebate | 10/07/26 05:37 PM |
| 1 | If a man would actually take any woman, he’d be very wanted.But he's open to mostly everything. And like Lilith said. There are lonely women starving for affection and longing to experience what other people are having. Desperation on both ends. So those two people give it a shot, then try to put the pieces in order and make the relationship work, post fact. Idk. I'm not going to judge that. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 10/07/26 03:49 PM |
| 1 | Women who choose to remain single are viewed as empowered, men are notNot the full truth there. Did you know that muslim boys are often saddled with providing, not just for a wife, but for their parent's retirement fund. And it doesn't end there. Sooner or later some idiot brother in law is going to build himself a house somewhere by the Black Sea. Oops, gotta send money over to him too. I've talked to three separate Muslim guys about this, shown empathy, and it was well received. They all secretly hate it. Good pressure point btw. Might inspire some... cultural u… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 10/07/26 03:35 PM |
| 1 | If a man would actually take any woman, he’d be very wanted.Nope, and none of the people involved are very attractive people, but they make do. Just two people who want to escape into a relationship and spend as little time as possible on the twisted and sick dating market. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 10/07/26 02:28 PM |
| 3 | Men who want women to do more housework and childcare should be pro-alimony, pro-child support, and support access to divorce.I know, and it's so weird seeing people seriously debate that. My, now wife, started off as fully provisioned live-in girlfriend because she's in an artistic field (made peanuts then, now doing great!). We made that work by getting an unattractive family house and letting out two rooms, basically doing the collective thing... for over 10 years. Only one full income, then that's what it takes. Somehow I doubt the SAHP lifestylers would do the same, faced with reality, but that's just the thing. N… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 10/07/26 02:01 PM |
| -1 | If a man would actually take any woman, he’d be very wanted.Honestly... This time I think you're right, and that things happen a lot, I'm sure. But I want to stress an adjacent point. A lot of women here complain about the men choosing anyone, and it's wrongheaded. Sometimes people just don't have much personality of their own, and that's okay. Such a guy will change with her. Is she into sports? He'll start jogging then and adopt that thing for himself. I think it can be a beautiful thing. She has to mind his weak boundaries though, and not be too abbra… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 10/07/26 01:50 PM |
| 1 | Women who choose to remain single are viewed as empowered, men are notIt's rather.. if you shone light on that incels/RP/MGTOW would be emboldened. They'd hold these guys, that are nothing like them, as proof, and reduce them into a debate point in their favor. So what? Let them. It doesn't matter. It's such a childish fight over narratives, which constantly requires reality to be simplified. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 10/07/26 01:22 PM |
| -2 | Women who choose to remain single are viewed as empowered, men are notI'm not saying those dads, or the healthy self-selected bachelors are hated. Just inconvenient and not to be recognized. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 10/07/26 12:56 PM |
| 3 | Women who choose to remain single are viewed as empowered, men are notThey don't acknowledge when men start doing what they say they wanted men to be doing. This would be men who've actually decentered sex and relationships etc. Kicked that down a few orders of priority. That is in fact progress, is it not? Should be good news, but lumping these men together with incels is of course a lot more seductive, and convenient to persistent narratives. I'm not saying counterexamples don't exist. If I spend a really long time scouring AskFeminists I might find a comment or… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 10/07/26 12:51 PM |
| 2 | Women who choose to remain single are viewed as empowered, men are notThat last paragraph is perfect. Yes, if you look into the twisted little insular world of old media broadcast, you see that OP is correct but it doesn't matter. Their only audiences are geriatric boomers who'll never open their minds now. And also GenX:ers. Perhaps some of the oldest millenials are still enthralled by they can't be that many. So no, we shouldn't care about that. What offends me though is how I'm forced to pay for it. Those things are still upheld by tax plundring. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 10/07/26 12:17 PM |
| -2 | Women who choose to remain single are viewed as empowered, men are notThat's not all there is too it, and you know it. There's a lot of healthy non-bitter self chosen single men. There's also tons of fathers that are far more dedicated raising their kids than their wives are. Such phenomena must remain hidden though. It interfers with narratives like "Men are still a huge problem!". People who's job it is to combat gender issues might find their careers over if it turns out that problems are in fact... gone. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 10/07/26 12:12 PM |
| 3 | Women who choose to remain single are viewed as empowered, men are notYes, but the ones who applaud women's stances of independence, call themselves progressive, must recognize this too. They aren't allowed to fall into gendered lazy think, or they are absolute failures at what they do, right? Lol, who am I kidding. These people aren't principled. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 10/07/26 12:03 PM |
| – | Men’s rigid conformity to idealised masculinity is harmful to themselvesThis is difficult to explain, but I'll try. I've been to plenty of furry conventions. I've many times held other guys, listened to their thoughts and feelings. I like that, and I guess it counts. But, we don't care about the rest of society then. And we don't theorize there's anything wrong with men who aren't doing what we're doing. We think the idea of liberal politics + gender studies attempting to change other men into doing stuff we do as oppressive. We aren't ambassadors of anything. We ju… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 10/07/26 11:38 AM |
| – | Social justice for me but not for thee: Common female reactions to the 'hiplet' trend versus to heightshaming men are showing their double standards and inherent view of males as lesser beings - just as the trend intendedThere's a reddit called menslib where pro-feminist guys try to apply social justice to their own issues. Feminists shit on them constantly for the smalles things, and because their primary modes of looking at things isn't always Patriarchy theory. There was another such place LeftWingMaleAdvocates which got attacked constantly in much the same way. It needs to be woman-centric even when it isn't. People need to faithfully regurgitate feminist theory, or it won't be tolerated. If they were reason… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 10/07/26 09:57 AM |
| – | Social justice for me but not for thee: Common female reactions to the 'hiplet' trend versus to heightshaming men are showing their double standards and inherent view of males as lesser beings - just as the trend intendedThe mistake these men do is to subordinate themselves to advice from people who already looks down on them (pun unintended). Instead they should train themselves to look at people who reject them for such reasons as repulsive. Now, social justice for men you say? That's not going to work. It repulses women automatically when men band together to hold hands and attempt their own version of that. It has always failed. It doesn't matter if it's just a logical extension of the same thinking and not … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 10/07/26 09:20 AM |
| 6 | Men who want women to do more housework and childcare should be pro-alimony, pro-child support, and support access to divorce.Hard pass. I prefer to do a tad bit more provision AND chores so the power balance in my home tilts firmly in my favor. :) That's how us pedantic men abuse and control don't you know? Playing the old "The top contributor always has the final say". Jokes aside, no. We shouldn't have any systems that encourage master/servant dynamics. Alimony should only exist in egregious examples, like to keep divorcees above the poverty line. I'm talking about cases where there's several kids, she's been out of… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 10/07/26 07:30 AM |
| 1 | Media couldn’t have lied to you if you can’t name the media that you consumed.Such things used to influence us sometimes. I don't mean that it still does, thankfully. Think about the time before social media. Journalists and writers could have this half-celebrity status. I say it ends in the 2010's some time, but we were talking about the past. That's the time the era of media feminism ends. I think it's fair to differentiate. Media feminism like corporate feminism was, mostly fake. The lies were seldom direct falsehoods but framing, lies by omission and planting delibera… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 10/07/26 06:48 AM |
| 1 | Media couldn’t have lied to you if you can’t name the media that you consumed.I don't read that shit anymore. I used to. It's doubtful a decade or so, old articles, many of which aren't even in your language would do much good. Call me a liar for pointing out a phenomenon most already know about. I decided to just do a quick Google Search so here you have two links I guess. I haven't even read them. I don't care, because I already know in precisely what way they will suck. https://www.wsj.com/video/why-are-men-today-such-losers/17BA5742-24E4-4533-94EB-A599F0FF2231 https:/… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 09/07/26 04:32 PM |
| 2 | Men who don’t approach IRL are behaving in the way they’ve been instructedRight then.. I read your comment wrong. My mistake. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 09/07/26 02:41 PM |
| – | Men’s rigid conformity to idealised masculinity is harmful to themselvesYou're mistaken. There's plenty of men who transgress, but the cost of doing so is becoming low-status, lonlier and more isolated. Does the progressive academic kind appreciate that fact? Oh fuck no. They malign these dudes into toxic stoicisity, lone wolf conceit etc. They'd never admit men break the script all the time. They just invent new addon narratives to be able to say "Nope! Lookie here, men are still stuck in hegemonic masculinity." The only way to get the transgression noted by you gu… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 09/07/26 02:33 PM |
| 5 | Media couldn’t have lied to you if you can’t name the media that you consumed.If it's my comment you referred to, the sources aren't entertainment. It's news outlets. The American equivalent would be Huffington Post, the Atlantic, The Guardian (might be UK) idk and countless of others who have trashtalked men as a class for decades. And it goes far, faaar beyond necessary criticism. In my case, it's mainly Swedish sources though, and that tells you nothing. Except I want to add that it's especially damning here, because these fucking rags can't even attract readers enough… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 09/07/26 01:59 PM |
| 1 | Men who don’t approach IRL are behaving in the way they’ve been instructedMen too have that option, and are choosing it at increasing numbers. "Improve" is the wrong frame. "Aligning" is the appropriate word and it's value neutral. If a man doesn't want to do that, and takes the cost of possible datelessness, that's not a failure to improve. It's a valid individual choice, not to align. The only men who arguably must improve are those: failing to pay their bills, remain lawful, or function around people in a basic civilized manner. That is the low, and only, mandatory… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 09/07/26 09:59 AM |
| 1 | Men who don’t approach IRL are behaving in the way they’ve been instructedThat is true. However... Other people don't get to complain about guys doing that to themselves. The loud minority (because they are few) women who complain about too few men interacting with them out of the blue, don't deserve being listened to. Because compelling others to gift you something is it's own toxicity. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 09/07/26 08:02 AM |
| 5 | Men who don’t approach IRL are behaving in the way they’ve been instructedWoman/society are not a unified mind, that is true but intact ethical guidelines have to be one size fits all. "Don't approach" won the argument, so that is the command. People are free to be upset with the situation, but the women complaining, even denigrating men for not approaching them, don't have a moral leg to stand on. And potentially they should be called out on their entitlement (to being approached by attractive men) in case they're being nasty about it. The problem with many female do… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 09/07/26 07:46 AM |
| 1 | Men’s rigid conformity to idealised masculinity is harmful to themselvesI did answer your question in parts by focusing specifically on boys that pose a threat. I don't pretend it's a full solution for antisocial behavior but I'd call it a good start. The answer to your question about where to place accountability will differ when you're talking about adolescents and adults. With children, that burden lies squarely on the system, the parents and the educators. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 09/07/26 07:23 AM |
| 1 | Men’s rigid conformity to idealised masculinity is harmful to themselvesYou said: "assault, and even murder boys/men who don't conform to traditional masculinity." And I'm zooming in on violent machismo and those bullies in particular. These are boys who have no business being in the same classroom among ordinary children. Teasing is unfortunate, sure, but a kid that other kids will emulate due to fear of violence if they don't? That is another beast entirely. The rest of the kids, it's not their job to socialize boys like that, and it's not like they even could. Yo… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 09/07/26 06:26 AM |
| 1 | Men’s rigid conformity to idealised masculinity is harmful to themselvesHarassing other kids for not being masculine IS a behavioral problem, so that question is moot. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 09/07/26 12:50 AM |
| 9 | Lots of the frustrations in the current dating world are from **some** men refusing to accept that most women are generally more valuable than most menThat's why men must train themselves to be indifferent about society's approval. You can't quit society, but you sure as hell can detach your worth from the shared culture. It's peaceful, but existentially lonely. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 09/07/26 12:13 AM |
| 1 | Men’s rigid conformity to idealised masculinity is harmful to themselvesCool. So any objections to the productive idea of separating the few boys with severe behavioral problems from the normal ones, then? No? Good. I'm glad we had this little talk. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 08/07/26 11:55 PM |
| 1 | Men’s rigid conformity to idealised masculinity is harmful to themselvesSeriously, you're going to bore down just because I wrote "broken homes"? You have no arguments. I wasted time providing an actionable solution, I guess. It doesn't matter what homes such boys come from anyway. They act like that, they ought to be sent off to the same kind of specialized schooling along with the others. These systems used to exist btw. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 08/07/26 10:45 PM |
| 1 | Men’s rigid conformity to idealised masculinity is harmful to themselvesTake accountability? Sure, I'll play. The type of boys you mention, who actually DO pose a threat to other boys for not conforming shouldn't even be allowed in normal schools. It would be easy. It's usually 2-3 unhinged broken-home boys per class that act like little terrorists. You know the type. If you ever were over at their homes, there's holes in the wall due to their violent outbursts. Segregate them out of normal schools into separate facilities where they can be properly looked after. Th… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 08/07/26 10:20 PM |
| 1 | Lots of the frustrations in the current dating world are from **some** men refusing to accept that most women are generally more valuable than most menYou're wilfully blind then. Let me guess, it's those pesky male locker rooms again, and other homosocial environments were everything supposedly originate from? No, every society is openly concerned about "molding men right" and what lies implied in the unsaid, about the men that aren't molded correctly to utility, is that they are trash. No human value. We get those signals from trad, progressive, mainstream and also subcultural streams all at once. All camps are guilty. I'm not saying men shou… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 08/07/26 08:52 PM |
| 12 | Lots of the frustrations in the current dating world are from **some** men refusing to accept that most women are generally more valuable than most menNah, OP is the natural result of listening to too many Lilith posts (on the extreme end), and many more carefully worded BP ones, which still imply exactly the same thing. These posts don't outright say "men on average have lower human value", but they sure as hell imply it. And it effectively is what mainstream media and culture has said for decades, while flying a feminist flag. So are you honestly surprised some men accept it as true and internalize it? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 08/07/26 07:27 PM |
| 7 | Lots of the frustrations in the current dating world are from **some** men refusing to accept that most women are generally more valuable than most men"The whole seeing people through value mindset is harmful because it is inherently dehumanizing" But human value is denoted in every other post around here. Winners, losers etc. And that goes for BP posts more women cheer on too. Perhaps especially those. You might have written a few yourself, or at least upvoted a couple. No, it's not outright said "Your human value is lower", but very often implied. I find it a strange thing to complain about. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 08/07/26 07:20 PM |
| – | How undesirable are single dads?Dating a single parent is often a question of how much you even need from that relationship. The only reports I have are from guys I know who did this and it was "She only comes over on Thursdays when she has a baby sitter" So, catch a show or something, bang, then another week of radio silence. It's not for everyone, but might suit a few people just fine I guess. For the ones I know, it seemed to have been a temporary distraction on both ends. And it didn't last. I figure some women busy with v… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 08/07/26 12:40 PM |
| 1 | Men are told to open up more. The only thing they open up about is women not fucking them. And then wonder why it's backfiring 🤦♂️I don't follow. Why are we talking about universities now? It was the concept "toxic masculinity". You know, systematize any act or display of emotion that can be considered negative into an oppression story about men against women... as long as the person doing it is male. Whereas the exact same acts and behaviors, if done by a women, is never attributed to some grand cultural predation. FFS there's lobby groups, NGO's and state funded agencies that work really really hard in order to make ever… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 02/07/26 08:21 PM |
| 1 | Men are told to open up more. The only thing they open up about is women not fucking them. And then wonder why it's backfiring 🤦♂️That's the natural order of things. Men to their male groups and women to their female friends. Well, we certainly effed that one up breaking down single-gendered collectives, spaces and activities. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 02/07/26 07:22 PM |
| 1 | Men are told to open up more. The only thing they open up about is women not fucking them. And then wonder why it's backfiring 🤦♂️But women have the backing of an entire academic system, with arms into politics and culture, that push falsely framed concepts like "toxic masculinity". You can't put that on par with internet comments. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 02/07/26 07:08 PM |
| – | Men can become angry because they cannot get laid, and that anger can make them less likely to get laid.Listening isn't the problem. Someone's who's dated a lot since they were teenagers can't level well enough with someone who never started and is closer to 30. Those who may have a better grasp of the situation are those who went through something similar themselves, and came out the other end. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 02/07/26 06:22 PM |
| – | Men can become angry because they cannot get laid, and that anger can make them less likely to get laid.Nobody with normal dating trajectories can lead any of the ingrained cases anywhere though. It's a completely different experience of life. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 02/07/26 05:22 PM |
| 3 | Asking men to support feminism is peak audacity: Feminists in Australia lobbied to have suicidal men insta-flagged as potential woman abusers when they reach out to authorities for helpIs it all about statistics though? Wouldn't it be reasonable to think that a hotline for people in crisis should center on the actual person calling who is, you know, in crisis? Not interrogate him hard about his function in other people's lives as well as preemptively alert the police that he might need to be kept under watch? It's not about a few reasonable control questions, as OP has presented. You said, a lot of men just do it, and never reach out. Is it any wonder when even this, acute ass… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 30/06/26 07:57 AM |
| 1 | Manosphere supporting Age Gap relationships to a fault is strange.I think age gap makes all the sense in the world in case the guy is an older virgin who's cleaned himself up and finally gotten a hang of himself. The 20/23f - 26/30m constellation seems to become a thing then, as if they're naturally aligned somehow. If you consider the alternative, that this type of man goes with someone same-age. She will be experienced, ready to have stability. Maybe children real soon. That can only end in tears. This said, I'm way more sceptical to Tate-like older men doin… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 30/06/26 07:13 AM |
| 5 | When The Beard Don’t Connect… Maybe The Accountability Don’t EitherUsed to be a big problem in the 2010s with all these World of Warcraft addicts. I'm sure there are still men stuck in something similar these days, but I think they are fewer at least. So this post feels a little dated perhaps? Life in stasis/blaming others was never a good thing, but what particularly interests me is the ongoing shift. Now, building yourself up is no longer synonymous with "to be worthy of a good date." There's more men now pursuing their own goals, develop skills and enjoy int… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 30/06/26 06:20 AM |
| -1 | OBSESSION (2026) was NOT about 🍇, it was about women's fear of not being able to negotiate their own desireOh hell no. You know it's good you're writing this out. This looks like exactly the kind of thing I'll avoid watching entirely. I hate movies about stupid, weak but essentially harmless men who must die for their transgressions, and an audience who thinks it's funny and just. And no, I don't enjoy the old video nasties that go "these are loose women so they deserve being butchered." either. A lot of the old 70's grindhouse fare has a sickness that was seldom since replicated. This film though. I… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 29/06/26 07:21 AM |
| 3 | The mockery of "unselected" men is a proxy victory. Women celebrate their loneliness because they are powerless against the elite men who actually exploit them. The target at low hanging fruit to make themselves feel better.You are reacting to something real, but you are getting a couple of wires twisted. It relates back to the incel scare. A politisized farce debate that fell apart when you looked at it too closely. It was mainly a perfect excuse to peddle ideology. So it was pushed pretty hard. It was then adopted by the younger generations as a slur whivh equated "shy guy not seen dating women" = incel (who's entire humanity should thus be rejected). Of course there's also a whole bunch of older women who must'v… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 29/06/26 06:28 AM |
| 7 | Asking men to support feminism is peak audacity: Feminists in Australia lobbied to have suicidal men insta-flagged as potential woman abusers when they reach out to authorities for helpAnd you know that is not a question which can be answered. Before/after launch of program (prior year and 2024) we see a drop by 270, of which 160 male. It's not like it collapsed any numbers. We don't even know what can be attributed to the hotline, if anything. Finland's the country with the most impressive results. They gave the problem the dignity of national crisis, and dedicated considerable research and efforts. A lot of this was also male centered, as the risk factors specific for men ne… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 28/06/26 07:26 PM |
| 3 | Asking men to support feminism is peak audacity: Feminists in Australia lobbied to have suicidal men insta-flagged as potential woman abusers when they reach out to authorities for helpOn the subject of academic charlatans +advocacy groups getting together over wine and pushing for, not what's factual, but what "feels like it must be right", falsifying studies and move on to policy... You should really look into the 90's scandal from Sweden about "children with completely forgotten memories of sexual abuse", and how it culminates into one of the biggest judiciary scandals ever, the Thomas Quick/Sture Bergwall case, supposed serial killer, with an endless supply of "forgotten m… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 28/06/26 06:58 PM |
| 2 | Asking men to support feminism is peak audacity: Feminists in Australia lobbied to have suicidal men insta-flagged as potential woman abusers when they reach out to authorities for helpHow many have they clumpsily pushed over the edge dude? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 28/06/26 06:40 PM |
| 4 | Asking men to support feminism is peak audacity: Feminists in Australia lobbied to have suicidal men insta-flagged as potential woman abusers when they reach out to authorities for helpOf course they doctored the numbers. I should've known. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 28/06/26 06:16 PM |
| 12 | Asking men to support feminism is peak audacity: Feminists in Australia lobbied to have suicidal men insta-flagged as potential woman abusers when they reach out to authorities for helpThe amount of yearly familicides in Australia is 20, an appallingly large number, I honestly think. But the amount of completed male suicides are 2500. And other semi-enlightened countries don't do it like Australia does or we would've known. No men should call a service where they risk aggravating their suicidal ideation. It shouldn't be used by anyone. Verdict. Scrap the program. Sack the people in the department who came up with it. There, I solved your unsolvable problem. Shut it down. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 28/06/26 05:53 PM |
| 16 | Asking men to support feminism is peak audacity: Feminists in Australia lobbied to have suicidal men insta-flagged as potential woman abusers when they reach out to authorities for helpCan you look up the amount of familicide incidents a year compared to male suicides? I got 20 to 2500. Those who wrote this policy can't wash their hands with this. And anyone who cares about the reputation of feminism better dunk on it real fast. Can't we speculate instead that there has to be some intellectual or cultural degeneracy, particular to Australia, that is the cause of this? Scandinavian countries have lots of institutional feminism but you won't find something this collosally stupid… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 28/06/26 05:37 PM |
| 2 | The root of misogyny is jealousy."Hate" is a strong word tbh. It brings the image of some choleric person seething with rage. Thank advocacy speech and it's hyperbole for that one, btw. They tend to settle for the strongest word, then apply it very widely. Anyway, I think it's more like a degree of automatic contempt and strong suspicion being maintained. Idk. People end up that way sometimes. Men and women both. You're right, it doesn't seem all that healthy but I'm not sure it's anything for us to be concerned about. For exam… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 28/06/26 05:03 PM |
| 5 | The root of misogyny is jealousy.It can be. Women who've been taken advantage of by men often become man haters. This is for self-protection, and to stave away the risk of connecting with men, again. Which may lead to subsequent abuse. This is no different. Their misogyny isn't employed to take away women's rights, or enslave any woman for themselves. It's to convince themselves to maintain the contempt, and thus the separation. It may not be a full life, but it's a choice. For the men, and women, who do this. I wouldn't, nor a… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 28/06/26 04:36 PM |
| 1 | The root of misogyny is jealousy.Not direct harm, very often, no. More like cultural oppression. Pricks like Scott Galloway and many others who are "concerned", you know? Under the guise of care, these are people trying to impose the rules of what sort of efforts men should feel guilted into performing. Even if it's not even discussed whether the men would want that which those efforts supposedly, maybe, would get them. But liberalism is a two-way street. If a person doesn't cause direct harm, pay their little bills and abide b… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 28/06/26 04:27 PM |
| 4 | Talking to women is impossible.Then reverse it. Tell yourself you're very critical, very discerning and unsure about whether any people you meet would actually match well with you. Then make little jokes and openers thinking "Wouldn't it be objectively funny if she thought I was coming on to her, when I actually wasn't doing that? Lol, that's not my problem." I don't mean it like pre-rejecting people, but more kicking that question further ahead. Until someone starts putting their own energy in, show interest back to you, wha… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 28/06/26 12:18 PM |
| 4 | The root of misogyny is jealousy.Redundancy. That's an interesting one for me, because I note a lot of men who embrace it nowadays. If their value is made relative then none of the aspirations and life milestones make much sense either. Why fight for conditional worth, when you yourself will never be intrinsically valuable? What I mean is, there's plenty now who live minimalist, don't seek to advance, don't particularly care if this means they can't have a family down the road. In certain parts of the internet, that stance is e… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 28/06/26 11:50 AM |
| 4 | Women know when other women are low quality. Redpill Men chase them and call it 'Female Nature'.Then why was there never a bestiary of evil female archetypes and tropes littered in media and entertainment, informing people? Y'know like the 1000's of already documented subgroups of men already described, like fuckboys, gentlesirs, Peter pans etc. Informing people what kind they should steer clear of, and who's humanity should be utterly rejected. Good news is though, the media has lost, the Conversation (which could only categorize bad types of men) is dead, and men are informing themselves… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 26/06/26 06:42 PM |
| 6 | The idea that men shouldn’t approach women is dying out in the mainstreamCalling it selfish is a stretch as they're not gaining anything. Granted, it isn't noble either. It's just inert, neutral. We can't compel people to participate by any moral reasoning that makes sense. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 26/06/26 03:30 PM |
| 1 | Excluding sons, do you have little to no sympathy for men?Progressives are anxious about people who reject the liberal frame of "Everything is relative and individual. There's no objective truth to it." and align themselves to something a bit more rigid. Take religion for example. Only begrudgingly accepted for minorities, not to lose their vote, but immediately suspicious otherwise. A lot of men cannot live very well in "relative land" though. They flounder. They need to de-individualize a bit and get behind something. It doesn't have to be MAGA. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 22/06/26 09:32 AM |
| 1 | Excluding sons, do you have little to no sympathy for men?Listen very closely OP. You do not need sympathy from women, because you are not one. A lot of women can be soothed with someone just sitting with them and acknowledging their problems, but men do not work like that. Things were easier in the past because you'd naturally had gravitated towards a brotherhood. Could be church, could be a guild of craftsmen (if we're talking way back). That's what you need. Find a manly kind of gathering and surrender yourself to it. It's alot harder to find these … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 21/06/26 08:19 PM |
| -2 | Excluding sons, do you have little to no sympathy for men?That's exactly the thing! The coddling doesn't help even if they get it. Men only think they need that. They don't. And if they get it, they'll realise it does nothing for them. It's just a mushy motherly feeling that leads to nowhere. It works on women because it signals "You're still part of the pack little one". Women are community oriented and men generally aren't. What I meant with men need truth, it's not truth about themselves and their situation so they can make some selfish upgrades to … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 21/06/26 08:06 PM |
| -5 | Excluding sons, do you have little to no sympathy for men?Men are better helped by truth. Philosophic and religious reasonings that check out. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 21/06/26 07:13 PM |
| 2 | Excluding sons, do you have little to no sympathy for men?Sorry to butt in, but what about religion and philosophy? Some people can not comfortably live in the current day "lol relativism" where the only shared value is narcissistic self improvement. Perhaps you are one. Christianity, Zen buddhism, Stoicism. Maybe you can find truths and offer up part of your individuality to some of those? Maybe there are a couple of values you want to live and nurture which you think should still be here, after you're gone? I tackled my own problems with some of this… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 21/06/26 07:11 PM |
| – | If women really cannot consent to sex if they've had any amount of alcohol, then women with certain mental conditions cannot consent to sex eitherKind of agree with you there. Universities seems to be places where people are prone to be caught up in progressive/activist hyperbole to the point where they can't think straight. A mean or condescending look gets equated with "violence" and many other examples. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 19/06/26 08:35 PM |
| 1 | Men don't understand what women want because women have been sending mixed signals, not because men have poor understanding.Words to live by, but there's costs also to that. Most women now treat this like "My way or the highway" and men are catching up, replicating the exact same thing. Of course, in his situation this might mean there aren't any options. This however is being buffered now by new manosphere messaging which says "Don't even start unless it all lines up just right for you." Spending decades or life as single is a resolute and admirable position now, even as a virgin. That's great news because it means … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 19/06/26 09:10 AM |
| 7 | Men don't understand what women want because women have been sending mixed signals, not because men have poor understanding.But it's something of a failure to choose someone for reasons you felt then, and then one day want something completely different. Something that was never a part of the initial choice and which frankly, is anathema to the partner you chose. Sure, maybe he can bend a tad, but you can't expect him to change up his personality. It's not a fair request. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 18/06/26 11:59 AM |
| 2 | Men don't understand what women want because women have been sending mixed signals, not because men have poor understanding.What you describe are self-aware women with agency who own their decisions. These are the same who say "I value ABC, but won't actually care too much if we can't have XYZ together". That works. But you have to admit we must caveat all this with the delusional "have it all" / "grass is always greener" types too? For instance, say a woman chooses a man who's very resilient and capable. A doer, but he's not the kind to share much of his personal emotions, struggles etc. Sort of rural, kind of an ar… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 18/06/26 11:20 AM |
| 1 | Men dating down"Yay. Normal women get to be boring Becky beta last-choice." Umm, no. You're reading it wrong. For men that develop this way, Becky and Stacy will switch places, in his eyes. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 17/06/26 05:16 PM |
| 5 | Men dating downI think it's mainly men's priorities and desires shifting over time. While teens, it is often the case that all boys are interested in the 2-3 girls that are generally considered "the hottest" and noone else. They are the ones with highest status and usually, best looking. All other girls are disregarded. An overwhelming majority of these guys shooting their shot will come to regret it. Over time, they'll consider popular/hot girls as a certain type that's unrelatable. This calcifies and eventua… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 17/06/26 09:06 AM |
| 1 | Women are larping loneliness.If you openly describe the 90% you preemptively deselect, what they have or don't have, you'll find yourself in hot water fast in many places. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 17/06/26 05:51 AM |
| 6 | Does anyone care that dating is better now for women?I write this off as complete delusion, because it is. A variation of the same thing that a lot more women, and fewer men, devote themselves to now. Women are a lot more picky now because they can't afford not to be. Back in the 90s-00s and another economic reality, you could afford to be a bit more carefree about this. The delusion more specifically is pretending we're still living in the 90's-00's. That society's institutions are strong and stable, that culture holds us together, that there's a… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 16/06/26 04:39 PM |
| 5 | Antiporn is usually motivated by misandryHah, yeah. I read that exchange. It's absolutely wild. You write very well about what's going on in the mind as well. The imagery is depersonalized. You focus on body parts, replacing an actor with yourself, another actor with someone you know and like etc. Someone will come out screaming "Objectification!" like some dyslexic lawyer at that. Yeah, so what? The object in question is the imagery, as a vessel for imagination. Boo, hiss etc! 🙂 | /r/PurplePillDebate | 16/06/26 12:39 PM |
| 7 | Antiporn is usually motivated by misandryAnd that's because you "betray the group's concensus" then. Men complain about misandry here a lot. They haven't seen how women are treated by female collectives when contrary. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 16/06/26 12:10 PM |
| 2 | Antiporn is usually motivated by misandryA lot of studies are contested. Some stable correlations exist. One of those being porn usage often = permissive attitude to casual sex, and the idea of pursuing varied sexual experiences/number of partners. Heavy users show significantly more problems than others. Mainly, lack of life satisfaction. But the recurrent findings in pornography research is that average effects tend to be a lot smaller than public debates often suggests. There's a reason why psychologists speaking on the subject so o… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 16/06/26 12:04 PM |
| 4 | Antiporn is usually motivated by misandryIf the media actually transmits ideas and reasonings, yes sometimes, but that's a lot more deliberate. Then again, it seems very hard, doesn't it? I mean, wouldn't the majority of Americans be woke / left liberal / globalist /anti-nationalist by now given how much messaging Hollywood has put in its entertainment over the years? If that were true. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 16/06/26 10:34 AM |
| 7 | Antiporn is usually motivated by misandryI'm already convinced you are wrong. Because this whole debate rests on the same logic as the video violence debate of the 80's, when it was expected that slasher movies would produce an epidemic of serial killers. And they were completely wrong. You could find sadistic maniacs who had the flics, but no movie taught them. Their pathology came before. For the abundant majority there will be a separation between fiction / real life without overlap. This holds especially true for non-acted porn tha… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 16/06/26 09:55 AM |
| 7 | Antiporn is usually motivated by misandryExcept that, the people with these concerns aren't placated if you say that your erotic diet is 100% drawn, written, animated or computer generated. That automatically puts you in a position of zero responsibility, for those type of problems. And you never hear these anti-porn women say "Guys, stop with the photos, videos and feeds. You don't know if that was made ethically. Switch to the artificial stuff and you're golden". And the reason is that these people hate porn, men or both. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 16/06/26 09:36 AM |
| 5 | Antiporn is usually motivated by misandryThat sounds informed. Sexual acts in front of camera do carry that risk. Though it is strange that the same gut reaction would occur also when it's AI partners, that doll-thing, comics, animation etc. From the snooping around I've done, principled progressives see zero externalised harm potential in the latter, and thus passively greenlight all of it (except for some terfs who religiously construe it to still be "violence against women" somehow) My hunch is that it's more a general thing with wo… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 16/06/26 09:26 AM |
| – | Women are larping loneliness.Good answer. And on closer thought, I think it possibly wouldn't be a very controversial thing to say. Especially not if it's phrased like "I have a type" rather than "80% aren't attractive to me". If you however say openly what types you aren't attracted to, it tends to set people off. Especially so if you're a man. Lol, I was swarmed with accusations once when I admitted I find conventionally attractive and feminine women unrelatable, and thus unattractive. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 16/06/26 07:07 AM |
| – | Women are larping loneliness.It matches the definition, doesn't it? If you're stuck as a single and blames the other gender for malfunctioning, that's incel ideation. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 16/06/26 06:39 AM |
| – | Women are larping loneliness.So, is that to say if there was a man who finds 80% of women unattractive, you would consider him being either a misogynist or porn damaged? It doesn't sound like you're talking about social biases but how men and women naturally are? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 16/06/26 06:13 AM |
| 1 | The "patriarchy" didn't teach men to hide their feelings. Life did.Because it was rethorical. A laugh mirror inversion of exactly the kind of junk that's written on male supposed pathologies, constantly, for decades. Not random internet faces either. People who are paid to write. It's not patriarchy that makes men guarded. It's the gaslighting of so-called progressives. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 15/06/26 11:23 PM |
| 2 | The "patriarchy" didn't teach men to hide their feelings. Life did.Maybe start by looking at women who expect unwavering stoicism as idiots, off-putting and undesirable? Or wait, let's go even further and add a quasi-intellectual theory on it: The reason she feels that way is because she sub-consciously wants the option to (momentarily) regress into a weak childlike state (next to a strong man). It doesn't mean she always will do that, or even very often, but she wants the option to go there. If he's allowed the same, she can't know if she has this option at an… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 15/06/26 09:51 PM |
| – | Being a jackass and being a desperate Simp doormat is NOT mutually exclusive.The guy's nuts, I give you that, but this is clearly a case of unusual mental illness. He's obsessively feeding a fantasy. It's not that different from compulsive gambling, in how there's a feeling of losing big that feels like a absolution from responsibility. It was never really about winning the "big prize". In fact they wouldn't even know what to do with it if they got it, when it was no longer a fantasy. They'd have a crisis. So your post doesn't amount to much. Since it's a shame to post h… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 09/06/26 09:47 AM |
| 1 | Being confident doesn’t matter if you’re not seen as competent.That's not right. A confident and extrovert manchild does fine, if only he sticks to stupid "woman babies", and together they don't have much more optics than "Where do we get out next fix/thrill?" However, I do think social fluency matters more universally. Throw that one in with the confidence. Because other than that, the guy who in one group is the tag-along, a little behind, the pity case etc. what he can do is leave. He can go to groups where he's on-level, but more interestingly, places w… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 09/06/26 09:26 AM |
| – | In 2026; The patriarchy is real, broadly promoted by both sides equally, broadly harms both sides equally, and isn't that big of a problem.Lots of good thoughts, but I'll argue one claim. "Men don't get to have a social movement." That's not the right optics, I think. Rather: Very few men would even want a social movement. This is one thing that infuriates feminists in ways that they have yet to name. They pretend that men don't transgress, but they actually do, plenty. Just... not in the way feminists want and how women more often do. Men, faced with corrupt social orders don't seek to prosocially improve it. Instead they defect, … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 09/06/26 09:02 AM |
| 1 | Cold Approaching, myths and experiencesThe ugly thing is how this also is tiered, across groups, in hierarchical order. The lower rung guy in the normie/middle class setting, without options, defects. He goes to integrate with groups that instead amasses more average, working class, maybe nerdy (doesn't matter, what I mean is: something peceived lower status). In this environment he's suddenly IT, and if he resists the temptation to act like a prat, he's very much liked. He finds a girlfriend there. But now he cannot even hang out wi… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 09/06/26 08:01 AM |
| 2 | Campaigns such as "Nuclear Family Month" are part of a broader effort to promote traditional gender and family roles.Lol, culture wars. No, honestly. This is all meaningless, and so is the pride month. It serves the purpose of cheering for two different sports teams. It's the same engagement, and it affects nothing of real consequence. The struggles for nuclear families has everything to do with macro engagement BTW. Get engaged at either side of this, and you're the loser for thinking you're doing anything important. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 09/06/26 07:34 AM |
| 2 | Being a jackass and being a desperate Simp doormat is NOT mutually exclusive.Oven baked pancake with bacon and chunks of apple in cinnamon and sugar. A classic where I'm from but I don't know if Americans make that one. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 09/06/26 07:31 AM |
| 1 | Being a jackass and being a desperate Simp doormat is NOT mutually exclusive.This reminds me of the decades old wisdom: "If you wanna be happy for the rest of your life, never make a pretty woman your wife." I'm dying to hear in which way Lilith would hate this subcategory of men who live by that (and are also handsome). Or would she surprisingly frame those guys like "the good ones"? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 09/06/26 07:29 AM |
| 1 | If women say they want emotional honesty and vulnerability in men, why do so many still lose attraction the moment a man actually stops pretending to be emotionally invincible ?Agreed! Then our work here is done. 😉 | /r/PurplePillDebate | 06/06/26 08:51 AM |
| 5 | The media narrative about AI girlfriends and AI boyfriends is oppositeYes and I think that's a perfectly astute observation about how these biases actually work. Sorry for not putting thay in my former reply because it should've been there. But OP's post is about media framing The paid, assumed professional, writers and thinkers don't get to use the excuse "Oopsie, I fell into the latent biases surrounding me and it contaminated my whole article, gosh darnit!" Your posts don't have to be read like excusing or running deference for them, but it made me suspicious. … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 06/06/26 07:37 AM |
| 2 | If women say they want emotional honesty and vulnerability in men, why do so many still lose attraction the moment a man actually stops pretending to be emotionally invincible ?A lot of this seems right but artfully incomplete. You don't mention that the other half of the matter is about weeding out the wrong women from the beginning. There's definately women who expect their men to stoically hold frame forever. It's really there when you say "should be emotionally honest and vulnerable from the beginning", but you only angle it from the preferences of a caring woman. On that subject, I'd say it's better to be deliberate and test her. That's a little different than wal… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 06/06/26 07:19 AM |
| 2 | The media narrative about AI girlfriends and AI boyfriends is oppositeWell, because the post is about media framing specifically. It's right there in OP's title. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 05/06/26 05:52 PM |
| 11 | The media narrative about AI girlfriends and AI boyfriends is oppositeEven more proof that men do correctly to ignore "The Discussion" and everything else in those derelict media outlets. Like has been said many times now, you don't hate the mainstream media enough. Ignore it boys. Some Gen-X nepobabies of boomers in academia and journalism can't teach you shit about how to live your life. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 05/06/26 05:21 PM |
| 6 | The media narrative about AI girlfriends and AI boyfriends is oppositeYou wrote all this to excuse media narratives, which you equated with "society". That's a big problem. These people shouldn't have jobs. The only reason to have paid writers is if they are intellectuals. And if they are incapable of getting a birds-eye perspective, outside of society's biases, they sure as hell aren't intellectuals. I'm curious, why do you defend them? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 05/06/26 05:01 PM |
| 4 | The media narrative about AI girlfriends and AI boyfriends is oppositeAnd the way of looking at it, through the lens of some coddled journos and activist academics, is never the right one. The obvious irony is that their framings, the ones which never consider men valid in their own right, but always put the frame somewhere between "Dysfunctional work-in-progress" <---> "Outright menace", it only drives men further away from the main culture and discussions. But hey, that's just the lens through which I see things. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 05/06/26 04:25 PM |
| – | The media narrative about AI girlfriends and AI boyfriends is oppositeEven more proof that men do correctly to ignore "The Discussion" and everything else in those derelict media outlets. Like has been said many times now, you don't hate the mainstream media enough. Ignore it boys. Some Gen-X nepobabies of boomers in academia and journalism can't teach you shit about how to live your life. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 05/06/26 04:17 PM |
| 4 | No one told men marriage was gonna be a nonstop fuck fest.And neither did they tell women. This debate is mangled by far too many 20-somethings speculating in horror about dead bedroom situations in marriages between people twice their age. We also hear from some frustrated 40-year old men. But a lot more men at that age are mostly done with sex. Peak hormone has passed. You slept with your spouse many hundred times... You get off sure, but you no longer reach intense peaks. It's all very predictable. And if she on top of that brushes you off too often… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 05/06/26 04:10 PM |
| 17 | The media narrative about AI girlfriends and AI boyfriends is oppositeYeah let's mediate on that. Finland is the only country that made a massive tax-funded program to specifically bring down male suicidality. And they succeeded. They got the studies done, the programs rolling, and they brought those numbers down. Because it was treated as a particular national health crisis. Welfare state proponents in every other country are against men, and handwave it with "Oh you will all be helped by trickle down socialism, but not you first" which... doesn't work. They'd ne… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 05/06/26 03:57 PM |
| 2 | Women saying they wouldn't date younger is meaningless.That's truly awful. And to me it's incredibly obvious how that situation can be exactly as bad with the genders flipped around. Many are too stupid to see it though. Meanwhile, in my country,there was a news blurb about a group of women (40's) who had started a club for hooking up with barely legal young men. There was hardly any critical questions at all. The whole framing of the article was "tee hee, aren't they naughty." I think a lot of the guys in this sub sometimes conflate (broadly) women… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 04/06/26 09:57 AM |
| 0 | Women saying they wouldn't date younger is meaningless.Right, but any social change needs consistency. I'm in favor then of treating women in their 40's poorly, in case they hook up with 18-21 year old men. Denigrate and side-eye them in equal measure, or the derision of men doing that same thing is invalid. I don't care that much about the question, think it's bizarre for someone in their 40's to be with the youngest adult cohort sure, but the crucial thing is to not allow a smidgen of hypocrisy. (And a pre-emptive F U to anyone who breaks into "Ye… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 04/06/26 06:06 AM |
| 4 | Pursuit of Elite vs Pursuit of ConsensusI think it's important to routinely reject and NOT entertain people who appear "basic" in this way. Did she suddenly seem to have an adamant preference for tall men, just because "everyone else" seems to have? Does she talk in platitudes, supporting the "current thing" often with the exact same words as if they were pulled from an article, and no discernable individual thought? Avoid! Because even if this person claims to like you, you can't trust in that. This person doesn't even know herself e… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 28/05/26 08:55 AM |
| 3 | With the saying "She's not yours, its just your turn". In the end us men is just another option to you right?This is it! But some take it even further and "desexualize" the crap out of everyone else, as an adopted perception. Married people who move through the world like asexuals, with exception for the chosen person, of course. Carry it for long enough and it sticks. That's what I do. Maybe that carries the cost of making socializing with other people a bit "flat" sometimes, like there's a kind of precense that disappears. It seems that way, but whatever. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 28/05/26 06:47 AM |
| 2 | The majority of men who seriously struggle dating and finding a partner were bullied in adolescenceSurviving comes into question from low to median income levels. Beyond that.. we shouldn't even care. A woman winning at capitalism should be muddied and scrutinized just the same as powerful men. It's not survival at that point. It's rich people's problems. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 26/05/26 11:59 AM |
| 4 | The majority of men who seriously struggle dating and finding a partner were bullied in adolescenceAnd yet... Women who gets into the competition, career climbing, or the game for social clout, they play it exactly the same way. Perhaps with some conscientious empty platitudes, as window dressing. Economical, hierarchical, kissing up and kicking down. Except, once women win at this (and they have), the ideologues hustle to shift the narrative around. Now people who are inside those systems and shaped by it's hierarchical logic = good. Men who withdraw from the systems entirely = Evil. Funny h… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 26/05/26 11:06 AM |
| – | Women supporting Isabel Rose proves that feminism is a cult and doesn't care about justiceHey, I only invalidated the handful of people responsible for these quotes. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 25/05/26 09:53 PM |
| 1 | Most of the time, Women wont do certain things is not because of coercion, Its because of attraction. and Using extremes to answer tor the whole phenomenaWhen that shift happens, I wager it's because she's still embittered about being burned in the past. Personally, I believe that the amount of boyfriends and hookups isn't what really matters, but how many of those ended like bad experiences. And the higher the number of exes, the greater the risk of that. This translates into extreme defensive caution, finnicky attraction and lackluster sex with the poor man who was supposedly selected as The One. If things are sub-par, it's always due to someth… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 25/05/26 10:51 AM |
| 2 | The wall isn't real. It's a psyop that benefits mediocre men.Maybe it's not all based on age/looks? Some concepts turn a little too anal and single-faceted. Semantics we can definitely argue... ...but don't tell me you haven't seen a burnout before? Everyone has. Some ex-party person who hit their 30's like a brick wall. It wasn't just all the hookups, but the excessive amounts of alcohol and drugs too. If you've seen a burnout, you've seen a "wall-hitter" and also realise they aren't exactly a catch, for any healthy age peers. It doesn't matter then that… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 25/05/26 09:56 AM |
| – | Women supporting Isabel Rose proves that feminism is a cult and doesn't care about justiceI think these quotes alone pretty much invalidate everything else these "thinkers" and "philosophers" may have written on gender. Because whatever that is, is clearly just window dressing for the raging sexist hatred underneath. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 25/05/26 09:28 AM |
| 1 | Is dating a numbers game for men?And I think most guys wouldn't raise any fuss knowing that. This woman did what? hook up 2-3 times before realising she's not the kind who even likes doing that. Aside from that she's had 1, maybe 2 longer relationships. That's only a count of 5 at most, and also with the assurance of that hitting up some rando for spontaneous sex was never really her thing at all. I'd be assured if that was someone's backstory. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 24/05/26 01:54 PM |
| 2 | The idea that men enjoy the chase is completely made up.Yeah, I hear you. I did a lot of that, most times obliviously when I happened to be drunk and happy. I don't really know the line for when you're just "too social", and when you let things become too heavy with emotion. It's gratifying as hell to fire someone up like that, for what it says about you, but... I feel guilty when I suddenly realise that I'd just gotten someone's hopes up, you know? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 23/05/26 12:06 PM |
| 6 | The idea that men enjoy the chase is completely made up.Yes, I don't think it statistically counts for much. I just surmise that in the statistic of people claiming they haven't approached anyone like that for a decade, some of them actually might've, but framed it as something else. And then think they didn't. Overall, the dynamics are changing. Men seem to have a little more reactive desire now, which used to be typically feminine. They also want to feel being sought out, on her initiative too. At least as much as the effort they themselves put in.… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 23/05/26 10:16 AM |
| – | How did you acquire your GF / wife / casual relationship? (or your last one)Someone who was in the same online group and Skype channel. Not dating related, mainly sharing jokes, memes and talking about this and that. I was living abroad at the time so it was also about being able to speak to people in my own language, and not always English. I didn't even consider I was making anything much ressembling friendships there. I was of the mind then that real friends are in actual proximity, not on the internet. It was a real surprise to eventually discover that someone there… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 23/05/26 09:48 AM |
| 23 | The idea that men enjoy the chase is completely made up.I think you're right. You don't want to chase. It puts you in a weak and embarassing position. What a lot of guys do then is to constructively lie to themselves. "Oh I'm just being social. I'm flirting a bit for fun. It doesn't mean anything." They're doing it while telling themselves that they aren't. Deny having intent, but they do. If she seems interested, he might go for it, but maybe he denied he was the one who started it? I think it's a possible some guys do this, and then when asked if t… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 23/05/26 08:38 AM |
| 0 | Men can only access emotional intimacy through a romantic partnerThere's some truth to this but I'll run off on a tangent and say that feminists are NOT welcome to involve themselves with this topic. I have a very particular experience. I've been a lot in flamboyant nerd scenes over the years. Renfair, cosplayers, furries. Even went to a Brony con once. The thing you want men to do happen a lot in all these scenes. All male-dominated (in number) and with other set of social rules, more emotionally permissive. But what did feminists do? Where they happy with t… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 22/05/26 05:05 PM |
| 2 | There's a difference between "Women Are Wonderful" bias and "Women should be wonderful to me" bias.Yeah exactly. It's in neutral territory. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 21/05/26 07:45 PM |
| 2 | There's a difference between "Women Are Wonderful" bias and "Women should be wonderful to me" bias.Then he'd be doing it wrong. Frowning sternly, or having "fuck off" written all over his face. That may be the slavic/Russian neutral public look, but no. More emphasis on: zoned out, on your phone, appear lost in thought and not focusing on anyone. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 21/05/26 07:01 PM |
| 1 | There's a difference between "Women Are Wonderful" bias and "Women should be wonderful to me" bias.I understood that part of it fine. It causes a distortion where you think women are very trusted and instantly liked wherever they go. I'm just chiming in on the part about men being extremely distrusted in public. And most men, I'd say are very aware of that and supress visible social awareness because of it. To varying degree, but definitely more than women. I guess I'm thinking the difference is more -3 to 1 than 0 to 1 (which you said), but I agree on the contrast misperception part. The 1 m… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 21/05/26 06:55 PM |
| 1 | There's a difference between "Women Are Wonderful" bias and "Women should be wonderful to me" bias.Yes, that is why you as a man should always carry an aloof, preoccupied or bored look while walking around strangers and neutral areas, always. And make sure you never lock eyes with anyone, even momentarily. That way noone will have any hare-brained reaction at your presence. This especially if you're the big, burly and bearded type. I'm not even kidding. A lot of us do this automatically like a learned behavior. It sucks, but it's not something that's ever going to be possible to solve. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 21/05/26 06:04 PM |
| 2 | Men should realise that straight/hetrosexual women don't exist and gays are attracted to men more than women. Men instead should approach random men for friendships.Nah. Sure, there's a degree of same-sex attraction in most people, but it may be so faint that it's basically pointless to try being gay. Strip a guy completely of homophobia, and related fears, he can blow a dude as an experiment. And then just note, "sort of interesting, mostly just weird. Don't think I'll be doing that again." Without any trauma or crying in the shower. It's a waste of time though. Most people will know beforehand this won't do it much for them. What's happening now is a lot … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 20/05/26 11:02 AM |
| 0 | Why do many men find a clumsy, socially awkward, maladjusted woman acceptable for casual sex, but women don’t?I'm sure there's some men that are like this. Afterwards they're discusted with her, and also himself. Pathetic. I'll readily fling dirt on that kind of guy, but I don't expect him to be as common as pretended here. What's more common though is that a guy can think away a few off-putting traits, if it's only casual. The whole thing of being accepted, and trusted for this, not to mention all the sensory pleasures, still feels something and thus means something. It also happens sometimes that a gu… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 20/05/26 09:11 AM |
| 1 | Men who get their life together for the sake of becoming attractive but then decide to be single should not be blamed for their choiceOh yes, all of that is running underneath, but it's not like men are ignoring that. Just that there's huge contention between men and women how to address those problems Too big of a subject to go into here, to be fair. I just want to add that men aren't blind to the political reality. Rather, many of them are just defeated and think "society is fucked anyway" so it doesn't even bears mentioning. Men's solutions aren't hegemonic, prosocial or progressive. They see the problem but their response … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 18/05/26 12:47 PM |
| 1 | Men who get their life together for the sake of becoming attractive but then decide to be single should not be blamed for their choiceI think that's more or less accurate of the current situation yes. OP's situation is not common enough to trigger any broad reaction. Unless of course he's living in a sparse place where they still got that "village mentality". The problem is.. the guy would have to declare it then, and then it'd depend on the way he's doing it what the response actually means. To be completely honest, I think you can get an ugly but very human, defensive reaction randomly from men and women both. "This person i… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 18/05/26 12:02 PM |
| 0 | Women, have no right to get upset at their man talking to other women, if they themselves are posting their pics on social media, going to clubs/bars, and not dressing modestly in public, basically "advertising" themselvesTo me, neither of those things are problems, unless you're an insecure partner. Unless given a good actual reason to suspect infidelity, you shouldn't. You got a girl who draws attention like that, you could also have the satisfied reaction "Ha ha, they can't have her. I can." And the same in reverse. Back when I was more involved in big hobby projects, frequently met more people, I'd get drunk turn super-social, and later I'd tell her the stories about the women I've lead on (mostly by obliviou… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 18/05/26 11:37 AM |
| 0 | Men who get their life together for the sake of becoming attractive but then decide to be single should not be blamed for their choiceBoomers, the rock 'n roll generation. It starts from there, in the 60's. That's when wild and free men begun getting glamorised. Even the war generation before still compelled the young (men and women) to shackle up, lock down a marriage, and put pressure on those who wouldn't or "waited too long". An "over-aged" single man could definately be looked at like something shameful. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 18/05/26 11:22 AM |
| 1 | Men who get their life together for the sake of becoming attractive but then decide to be single should not be blamed for their choiceWomen on various sex and relationships strikes throughout history. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 18/05/26 11:16 AM |
| 1 | Men who get their life together for the sake of becoming attractive but then decide to be single should not be blamed for their choiceAbsolutely not offended by the Strong Independent Woman shtick. Merely perplexed and a little amused? When I hear it I'm torn between the sarcastic "Oh, do you want a medal to go with that?" and the thoughtful "You know, maybe that's healthy. Perhaps we ought to celebrate the basic adulthood markers for men and women both? Those things are getting harder." As for the rest, it reminds me of what I've read that some progressives are unhappy with men developing the "wrong way". The liberation was s… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 18/05/26 11:14 AM |
| 1 | Men who get their life together for the sake of becoming attractive but then decide to be single should not be blamed for their choiceAgreed. That's more level. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 18/05/26 10:53 AM |
| 0 | Men who get their life together for the sake of becoming attractive but then decide to be single should not be blamed for their choiceYup, all that is true. But, bachelors weren't always cool. That's recent. Go back historically, and all men and women who in some regards could be seen as "prospects" were hard core shamed in case they didn't want to participate. It was rather evenly spread. Maybe not if you were a farm hand, but then you were one of the "expendables". | /r/PurplePillDebate | 18/05/26 10:52 AM |
| 1 | Men who get their life together for the sake of becoming attractive but then decide to be single should not be blamed for their choiceIt's funny how they think this is new, isn't it? But to be fair 4Bs and female equivalents are similarly embarassing. Lysistrate anyone? "Better off without a wife" quirky guys have always existed. Some even treasured and liked because they were community people (which you basically had to be back in the days) | /r/PurplePillDebate | 18/05/26 10:48 AM |
| 1 | Men who get their life together for the sake of becoming attractive but then decide to be single should not be blamed for their choiceBut I'm talking about if they did give up, successfully. It's obvious to me that they clearly haven't. They're keeping dreams, wants and urges alive instead of stomping them dead. The end result would be the silent mgtow, which neither you nor me would even be very aware he exists (unless it's a relative, brother or anyone else in actual proximity of course.) | /r/PurplePillDebate | 18/05/26 10:45 AM |
| 3 | Men who get their life together for the sake of becoming attractive but then decide to be single should not be blamed for their choiceYou don't belong to a group numerous enough for possible public critique. What that critique would be like, or if it even would be, we could only speculate for now. Except perhaps if you live rural and people maintain that village mentality. Those people always did take issue with that. "A man who doesn't wed and shelter a woman is a selfish egotistical narcissist." That attitude still lives in some traditional places. But their way of life is dying, and thus their opinions carry no weight. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 18/05/26 10:41 AM |
| 1 | Men who get their life together for the sake of becoming attractive but then decide to be single should not be blamed for their choiceI guess it depends. I did that, half-way. I was 30, went for the 20 year old, but I locked it down. We've been together 15 years. Now, it is true that you do get a relationship with built-in errors, but you get that if you go with an age-aligned woman too. Think about it. If you didn't date until you hit 30, you're not going to know who you are as a relationship person. The woman in comparison had several relationships already, or perhaps 2-3 long ones that ended. They are on a completely differ… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 18/05/26 10:34 AM |
| 2 | Men who get their life together for the sake of becoming attractive but then decide to be single should not be blamed for their choiceBut this low bar, is the exact same one which have had (some) women declare themselves as Strong Independent Woman. Is this really that much different? If these people, men and women both, find ways to rationalize away all feelings of inadequacy.. but at the same time, none of them is anyone else's problem to actually deal with... ...then it matters, how exactly? I mean with your reasoning, you'd kinda have to bite back at women who offendedly declare "There are no eligible bachelors!" and then … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 18/05/26 10:09 AM |
| 2 | Men who get their life together for the sake of becoming attractive but then decide to be single should not be blamed for their choiceI've always agreed with that. Question is, do we really want to kill each and every instinct we have, in which we want to appease, be chosen, and to fit in? If we take that to it's logical extreme, not only will most of dating die out, but also community. As those things are related, I wager? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 18/05/26 09:37 AM |
| 0 | Men who get their life together for the sake of becoming attractive but then decide to be single should not be blamed for their choiceIt happens, not in public discourse much... yet. Maybe if it becomes a widespread thing, we don't know. If so, I forsee that it won't be a shaming circus. Rather a soft, passive gaslighting kind of thing. Kind of how the media tends to look at statistics of long time single men and then paint them with the same brush. "Yup, they're all miserable deeply unfulfilled loners" Except that a lot of the guys making up those statistics are nothing like it. Mainly though, families are notorious for bully… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 18/05/26 09:32 AM |
| 2 | Men who get their life together for the sake of becoming attractive but then decide to be single should not be blamed for their choiceYeah, if they keep raging and seething. It sort of betrays the idea of their emotional independence. Big time. But would you seriously think someone who's just silently quitting it a loser? Like, you sometimes meet a divorced guy who calmly answers "Nah, never doing that again. Thanks." I mean, his motivations may be reasonable. We don't know. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 18/05/26 09:23 AM |
| 2 | Men who get their life together for the sake of becoming attractive but then decide to be single should not be blamed for their choiceEven those who never speak out like MGTOW's, but practically live like it? The recent shift seems to have been into this latter category, and we have no clue whether these guys ever read and followed that stuff online, or just reached their own conclusion, that dating isn't worth it for them. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 18/05/26 09:19 AM |
| 1 | Men who get their life together for the sake of becoming attractive but then decide to be single should not be blamed for their choiceWouldn't we be happy with incels finally giving up? They don't have to be angry anymore then, and the matter is resolved with finality. Would you rather have them out there, with their massive amounts of baggage, totally embarass themselves and others? A lot of these guys are so far behind in the "how to people" that the learning curve/mistake fallout will fall far short of given grace. Guaranteed. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 18/05/26 09:10 AM |
| 3 | Men who get their life together for the sake of becoming attractive but then decide to be single should not be blamed for their choiceBut what compels her reaction? That's the real interesting part. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 18/05/26 09:08 AM |
| 0 | Men who get their life together for the sake of becoming attractive but then decide to be single should not be blamed for their choiceI don't think regular reasonable people would, no. But leave it to the old nests of boomer-thinking mainstream platforms to boo, hiss and ineffectively pile on shame. Plus of course the family-making obsessed trad farts. Not that the men in question are obligated to entertain those perspectives, even in the slightest, and largely, they don't. A handful such articles have already been written, I think, calling these guys shallow and materialistic, but for now, the enforced narrative is that each … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 18/05/26 09:06 AM |
| 1 | Marriage rates declining is a good thingI mean yeah, if we get down in the details of it.. You could have a clause for situations where someone has been homemaker, decades have passed, and they would essentially be forced to queue for work in McDonalds in their fifties. Those kind of possibilities legally exist in some countries where alimony is otherwise so rare that it's not even in the public consciousness it exists. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 18/05/26 08:57 AM |
| – | Female teacher sexually assaulting male student is played for laughs on SNLI don't care what the cultural norm is. That argument is used to misdirect outrage. It doesn't change the strategy going forward, and that strategy is to keep raining hatred on writers, journalists etc. who dare to trivialize this thing. Something which has begun happening, at least online One of the reasons it always happens that someone pops up pointing at some male pervert who says otherwise is... you're just scared of a, predominantly male group, that unifies in righteous anger. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 18/05/26 07:41 AM |
| 0 | Marriage rates declining is a good thingYeah. Easier then to remove all possibilities of alimony, as well as make prenups impossible to challenge. That takes care of the problem. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 18/05/26 07:30 AM |
| – | Long-term relationship success is almost always driven by maintaining polarity, not "compatbility"People that are sexually obsessed with that polarity thing will all fail in the longterm-relationship setting. And that's the way it's always have been, I think. Conversely I think that typical nerd couples where he isn't very manly, and she's rather unfeminine, they stand a way better chance of making that transition. That can of course fail for other reasons, but when it comes to this, nothing much changes from their usual dynamic as they settle. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 18/05/26 05:48 AM |
| 1 | The bare minimum is fine. Women just romanticize codependency and anxious attachmentUh-huh, "imaginary". Sure. You said there wasn't any anti-male propaganda. Just honest experiences of women. But there's metric tons of anti-male propaganda, from every wannabe prog. leaning zine and channel across the globe. People are getting paid to push it. Being a woman, you obviously don't understand what it's like being the target of that. The only equivalent you have is some anonymous internet accounts shouting their own hot-takes (about women) back at you, which frankly doesn't even com… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 17/05/26 03:50 PM |
| 0 | The bare minimum is fine. Women just romanticize codependency and anxious attachmentSo decades of man hating articles published in old media = women's valid opinions according to you, and not propaganda? It absolutely is seeded from boomer (and their genX/old milennial nepobabies) in academia. It's just sexism and class hatred with a thin polish of self-serving gender discourse. Funny how it was a time when such writings actually rattled men, but not anymore. Nobody's listening and now they really hate us more than ever because they can't get the journo stardom of which they fe… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 17/05/26 09:11 AM |
| 4 | Both men and women choose to be single, anyone could be in a relationship, it just won’t necessarily be with someone you want or desireWell you can't be with someone who you find off-putting and actively dislike. That doesn't work at all, and where we should draw the line But someone who you feel, not badly, but more neutral about? Yes, that can work. Just because there isn't much immediate attraction, another can still develop over time, through proximity, safety and familiarity. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 16/05/26 05:52 AM |
| – | Entrepreneurial guys do better with women, but the reason has nothing to do with moneyDepends on who you are. Some are unlucky to be born extra sensitive and nervous, as a core personality trait. In order to succeed at dating then, they need to hard surpress that sensitivity, kick their inner child around and do violence to their core personality. This so they can maintain the frame of being calm/stoic, optimist/fun guy or any other one which is actually conductive to dating. At least that's what I needed to do. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 15/05/26 03:24 PM |
| 1 | Would you leave this woman?Stay, easily. I don't even like clenching so I can only imagine how uncomfortable that would be. What this subject is more about is regret of missing out. It's usually only with one first comfortable partner that the energy and curiosity is there to examine all the ways, as far as your limits go. It doesn't last. It settles into a few things which work, usually. This even if you were that guy, and then remained in the same relationship. I thankfully was there when it happened someone, but never … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 15/05/26 02:18 PM |
| 1 | Women will inevitably change after kids, if you can't understand this just don't have kidsThere's some parts right here but still dangerously simplistic. You didn't account for the risks of intimacy becoming way too infrequent (several weeks in between) or even straight up dying. And what that does to the family. Here's the thing, it actually isn't all that exciting for him to, you know. He's slept with her many 100's of times prior, and now, also for him, catching up on sleep tends to be more compelling, even though yes, he may feel deprived too, at least a bit. It's manageable. But… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 15/05/26 11:41 AM |
| 3 | Self-proclaimed "nice guys" are not nice guysThere's another "cost" to this, outside of dating that women seem to struggle with accepting though. First of all yes, the accomodate-and-placate act guys did was indeed an act, and a bad one at that. But this fake demeanor was also linked to cow-towing to mainstream opinions, and to be overly diplomatic on sensitive political topics, secretive about what you actually think. Well, that's changing fast. Note how men are a lot less shy about saying what they think about things like... Migration po… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 15/05/26 08:39 AM |
| 1 | When men and women say they have “no options” it means two completely different thingsBut when men snuff out their sensitivity to make sure they never end up in that frame , women tend to see that as a problem too. Not when it comes to partner selection, no. In fact, he might very well see an influx of dating options when he does (personal experience). But when men are being judged like a class, that's a crime against progress somehow. Even if he only does it to himself. Not complaining. I routinely refuse to listen to the latter thing, but it would be nice if women more often op… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 15/05/26 06:58 AM |
| 1 | Men "lying to get sex" is a manipulative blanket narrative.Save for the times it actually works? And the appropriate feelings of attachment actually DO kick in, with some delay. Then what does it matter how things really started? Conversely, you will have many women who have a primary motivation of eyeing the coupled stable lifestyle, but their feelings for the guys they pursue are still unclear. At first, it's sort of in neutral territory (not negative though, that's an important distinction). They do however make a serious attempt to fall in love with… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 12/05/26 09:33 AM |
| 1 | A lot of guys with “no options” have a self-inflicted problem.The alternative is the man who attach strong values to the concept of marriage and family, but then you just have to deal with the fact that he may consider that people in stable marriages are just a bit better than other people, like it's a life of higher dignity. And accept then, that he can't quite bring himself to respect her relationship-anarchist childhood best friend. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 12/05/26 06:51 AM |
| – | A lot of guys with “no options” have a self-inflicted problem.And that's what men do for the most part. They date on their socio-economic level or beneath it. A lot of them don't even entertain the notion that anyone richer or more successful would even want them. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 12/05/26 06:28 AM |
| – | A lot of guys with “no options” have a self-inflicted problem.That's not true. People dogpile on blackpills even when they are perfectly polite and don't display any aggression at all, not even passive. I've lost count of the times I've seen this happen. Someone prefaces a post saying they absolutely don't blame or resent women for not liking them. But they self-assess that they are in fact much too ugly and broke for anyone to accept them. When such posts are made some Karen always goes on a rage tirade about "how dare he assume all women want the same th… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 12/05/26 06:21 AM |
| 3 | Men "lying to get sex" is a manipulative blanket narrative.It comes down to transparency. Yes, I agree. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 11/05/26 05:37 AM |
| 2 | Men "lying to get sex" is a manipulative blanket narrative.I think voting is switched off on your account, but damn I want to upvote this hard. I'm a huge supporter of that thing. It's how my lasting relationships started (and autism traits are a very high likelihood on her end; undiagnosed). I wouldn't have it any other way now, theoretically, if I was single again. No way I'd go back to the "he/she should just know.." gender roleplay. Thing is, the queer and kinky arenas are full of people doing the same thing, and many have no autistic traits at all.… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 10/05/26 09:35 PM |
| 1 | Men "lying to get sex" is a manipulative blanket narrative.Yes, in a sense they are still on trial, but it's a lot more grounded in a deliberate slow-burn. You don't break those things up abruptly, or over small disagreement. It's actually a founded relationship of sorts, but a chaste one for now. And because it is a relationship, that alters a lot. It can still be called off, sure, but for stronger more well-informed reasons then, not snap decisions. I don't mean this as a definition. I mean it as what I figure it ideally should be, for men to go for i… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 10/05/26 09:26 PM |
| 7 | Men "lying to get sex" is a manipulative blanket narrative.If women want to ensure attachment and postpone sex, they can. But it demands a lot of extra wellmeaning emotional work on her part. She can't skip on that. She has to instill all that safety and trust so he won't need sex as proof. Then he can let his guard down and explore attachment in advance. I've seen it done and it was actually how my now-marriage started. Though primarily because it was a long distance thing at first. It naturally set the stage the same way. But those women know somethin… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 10/05/26 09:03 PM |
| 5 | Men "lying to get sex" is a manipulative blanket narrative.It doesn't work like that. Men numb out feelings of attachment to deal with the many rejections that comes from being pitched as initiators, and then kept on trial (she has other options, he doesn't). Libido still works though, and sex becomes proof (that it's now safe to examine attachment, if there's any) Sometimes sex relaxes and unwinds some of those knots enough for clarity, and sometimes it doesn't. But to be clear, I agree with what you request. I think men should start to communicate thi… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 10/05/26 08:53 PM |
| 1 | Men "lying to get sex" is a manipulative blanket narrative.And yet, in a situation of missing information, the latter tends to be quickly assumed. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 10/05/26 08:34 PM |
| 2 | Men "lying to get sex" is a manipulative blanket narrative.Oh yes that one. I got a good remedy for it. "Here's my vulnerability and idgaf how it's judged." (Shamelessness) It works if you learn to ground it deeply. Or maybe that's practicing transparent 'invulnerability'. 🙂 | /r/PurplePillDebate | 10/05/26 08:28 PM |
| 6 | Men "lying to get sex" is a manipulative blanket narrative.I think the odd thing is the contradiction in feminist-coded interpretation that many, not all, but many, women tend to absorb. Because while it preaches "Women aren't a monolith!" and the reverse is implied too, supposedly at least... If it's a situation where a man can be seen as vaguely culpable, and a woman isn't happy, then those men turn to monolith real freakin' fast, lol. But it doesn't logically need to make sense. So long as it feels right. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 10/05/26 08:07 PM |
| 3 | Men "lying to get sex" is a manipulative blanket narrative.Well shit. I actually intended to write "Activist speech always brings it to alarmist extreme" but I wrote fast and fumbled. And the more precise thing to say would've been "always brings it to alarmist extremes when it comes to men." That's the whole point. If men can be seen as culpable, nuances have to be erased not to "muddy things" and disturb a good misandric outrage. That's the narrative control. Sorry for the confusion. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 10/05/26 07:49 PM |
| 2 | Men "lying to get sex" is a manipulative blanket narrative.Butting in here.. the autistic thing is actually brilliant! If you've been with a woman with a degree of autism, you'll know. Everything's laid out because nothing can be assumed and nobody cares what that does with the "almighty vibe". None of that masc-fem polarity bullshit either. Of course, there'll be a lot of difficulties sharing a relationship where she might come across as very flat or insensitive at times, but at least there's a valid reason for it. And there I'm done gushing over women… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 10/05/26 07:36 PM |
| 7 | Men "lying to get sex" is a manipulative blanket narrative.That part of 'acting more interested than you are' runs into another problem. Scarcity mindset. Many men have very few options, but then there's one woman interested, so of course he'd want himself to be into her, for that exact reason. He'll go through motions of being very into her, hoping it becomes true. Sometimes it works, most times it doesn't. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 10/05/26 07:26 PM |
| 9 | Men "lying to get sex" is a manipulative blanket narrative.Yup, that too. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 10/05/26 07:11 PM |
| 8 | Men "lying to get sex" is a manipulative blanket narrative.That's a good observation, but I think (heh I wrote it) is how straight dating still runs on scripts and expectations and a whole lot of things not said between the lines. If women want to anchor relationships before sex with men, they can, but I don't think perhaps they realize what that requires of them. She'll have to give lots more assurance, instill the feeling that he isn't on trial. He has to know that he can occasionally say or so something dumb and it may be questioned sure, but it isn'… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 10/05/26 07:05 PM |
| 2 | Men "lying to get sex" is a manipulative blanket narrative.It can happen. Add some autism traits, sensory touch phobias etc. and gets something of an overload. However that example was too particular. Better to change it to: They had sex, and he ended up feeling bad about it happening due to some issue. That's a messy and awkward thing to explain to someone then, so he distanced himself. Not the best behavior but it's understandable. On the surface though, it'll look like "pump and dump". It always does. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 10/05/26 06:18 PM |
| 4 | Men "lying to get sex" is a manipulative blanket narrative.True, and that's deliberate then. But I'm guessing there's tons of times where there's missing information and that the same thing is habitually assumed. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 10/05/26 05:59 PM |
| 6 | Men "lying to get sex" is a manipulative blanket narrative.What passes as clear cut manipulation requires both intent and calculation. But I guess it makes sense to muddle the concepts here too. Activist speech always does that by routine, and it's colored off strongly on dating discourse. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 10/05/26 05:57 PM |
| 5 | Men "lying to get sex" is a manipulative blanket narrative.I think they don't. Straight habits are lagging behind and follow some patterns. This tangents another problem. Men are often the "pursuers" in that arena. This means he'll face rejection more. So what does he do? He develops emotional armor. You can't let people prematurely mean too much or you'll get crushed out there. But that also means a lot of feelings are numbed out. Sure you can logically assess that a person may be a good match for a relationship, but emotionally, you mostly only have s… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 10/05/26 05:54 PM |
| 2 | Men "lying to get sex" is a manipulative blanket narrative.It definitely should be. Truth be told, straight sex should be negotiated same way as people with particular kinks have to do. What it means or doesn't, and what's particular to you etc. I think we're getting there eventually. And if you don't you'll be running on assumptions, where we then get the automatic assumption "used me for sex". | /r/PurplePillDebate | 10/05/26 05:43 PM |
| 2 | Men "lying to get sex" is a manipulative blanket narrative.Exactly, and that's the distinction I'm making. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 10/05/26 02:16 PM |
| 4 | Men "lying to get sex" is a manipulative blanket narrative.I honestly have no idea what posts you are referring to, but claim I'm rebutting. As for the rest. You can claim what you like, but those claims sour quickly once gender reversed. Hell, it happens a lot. There's a party, they go home together, and later he's very unhappy as she didn't stay for breakfast, and didn't particularly want to remain in contact after that. Growing up in the 90's it was practically the norm. Party -> ONS(?) -> a relationship... hopefully? Maybe? Most didn't know any othe… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 10/05/26 02:13 PM |
| -1 | Women are scared of not having the power in datingEarlyJordan B P was a way better influence. The mainstream should have absorbed and enhanced those messages while it lasted. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 10/05/26 12:20 AM |
| 1 | Men need to start leaving women alone.Time and place, of course, and other things apply. It's a tricky subject, but essentially about wanting to be seen and generally wanting to have 'that' effect on people. That's why I said it isn't individually 'you' a sexy dressing person wants attention from, but 'you' in the aggregate. You conflate things a bit at the end when you talk about the likelihood of you sleeping with someone who gave you some light acknowledgement that you looked hot (and only that). I didn't mean it like that. Rathe… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 09/05/26 10:14 PM |
| 3 | Men need to start leaving women alone.This is honest at least. People always run for locked positions when it comes to the question about sexy outfits, whether women (or for arguments sake, men), whether they want something from you, if it's just inter-gender competition or just for oneself. On principle, someone who dresses very revealing actually does want something from you. It's just, they don't want the same thing from everyone. Also, importantly, it isn't 'you' individually, but 'you' in the general aggregate. Most of the time… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 09/05/26 09:13 PM |
| 1 | Q4M: What women-focused media to you engage with?By woman-focused, I suppose you mean "consumed predominantly by female audiences". Yes, some. Only really works that tend to hit older audiences, 40 and up. I like watching things like Downton Abbey, Inspector Morse aso. (A lot of British stuff, come to think of it). But I'm very averse to anything same-age or younger female audiences are interested in. I've never heard a Taylor Swift song. I don't know who she is, or who she's been replaced by(?) I would never watch a second of any reality-tv d… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 30/04/26 06:26 AM |
| – | Reducing dating to stats and attributes is an American thing.But it matters what the stats represent. Has a good job for example, doesn't necessarily telegraph money = luxury freebies, but a stable(safer) potential life trajectory. Wanting someone educated isn't necessarily snobbery but can be about seeking compatible similarity (she also spent years in higher education, and so did her parents). Which means, stats can be more about seeking compatibility and stability, rather than hierarchy and status. And I see an emphasis on the latter in the American di… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 30/04/26 06:00 AM |
| – | Reducing dating to stats and attributes is an American thing.Probably, we're different, yes, but that doesn't mean we need to add more problems on top. Sweden has had a very large, very unsuccessful immigration. It's mainly migrant men that are the bottom of the barrel in the dating market. I've seen statistics on this. But that does something strange too. It makes native Scandinavian, European (and I guess, also American) men here go up in value. And smaller things like "isn't tall" and "didn't go to college" becomes less of a deal. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 30/04/26 05:54 AM |
| – | Reducing dating to stats and attributes is an American thing.I think there always is, but it might be very distorted where I'm at, because here it's become ethnified. The ones excluded from dating are the male immigrant. (Unless you're talking about someone who's very assimilated). If you're native swede, employed and have things in order, you are already in a "higher sorting", and thus other things are deemed a lot less harshly. Still, I don't think people should be influenced by American dating discourse. We already have problems and we don't need to ad… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 30/04/26 05:49 AM |
| 1 | Reducing dating to stats and attributes is an American thing.Yeah, and also, the 70's. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 28/04/26 04:24 PM |
| 3 | People shouldn't pity men for their unrealistic expectationsNot really victim mentality, but I mean the desire to be considered hot, that your body and appearance should feel that special, and you need others to validate it. That's what I'm after, and I think that if men are beginning to learn that yearning, they should unlearn it stat. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 28/04/26 02:19 PM |
| 4 | People shouldn't pity men for their unrealistic expectationsIs the urge to feel desired fully legitimate though? I mean, the old manly way of thinking is that looks are good, instrumentally speaking. It leads to better chances at partner selection and better income, in case you're working in sales or whatever. But that's it. It only matters as much as it tangentially yields. An old-school guy would think that "feeling desired", in the general sense, to be something coquettish and unmanly to get too hung up about. I mean, next to morals, achievements, pla… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 28/04/26 12:55 PM |
| 4 | Reducing dating to stats and attributes is an American thing.That's a lot of good thoughts. The question is what's universal, particular to country, and what is temporary. The thing about poverty vs. comparatively poor matters. Like in the 80's or any time when robust welfare system existed and there was no housing crisis yet, poor guys were not in any dating crisis exactly. I mean, I think? There's also a cohort of men who more or less self-select out of the dating pool while they aren't financially stable because relationships seem like added burden. An… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 28/04/26 12:35 PM |
| 2 | Reducing dating to stats and attributes is an American thing.You're shifting goal posts like crazy. First it was a (full grown!) beard, and now it's stray hairs on the lip which, yep.. also cultural. It's not hard to construe how it's very established that this hair removal is done so routinely, that not doing it seems like "abnormal". I'll give you cred on this example though, because that one seems like a learned one on a global scale. But other than that. You don't want to sit with the discomfort that you probably internalised, early on, to regard shor… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 28/04/26 09:18 AM |
| 2 | Reducing dating to stats and attributes is an American thing.Neither Demanding only "yes" and "no" here makes it impossible to properly answer. Dimorphism is a full package deal. It encompasses dozens of physical traits paired with a degree of naturally desired personality traits. What people respond to is an amalgation of traits, not various body parts in isolation. The beard-thing is ridiculous though because it's example of something insanely rare and out of the norm that you could've just as well asked "What about someone with weird outgrowths on thei… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 28/04/26 08:51 AM |
| 0 | Reducing dating to stats and attributes is an American thing.And this you know for sure? There's peer reviewed studies that chart the bio-neurological truth of the matter? I'd say "don't get picked on" is VERY relevant because, if it is socially inferred that you have lower status in case you are short, it becomes culturally learned. And the actual largest common denominator worldwide when it comes to dating is assortative mating related to class background, clout and social status. So when someone learns early on that being short = lower status, then tha… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 28/04/26 08:38 AM |
| 2 | Reducing dating to stats and attributes is an American thing.Going by life experience.... I can attest to that guys sometimes talk amongst themselves if someone excels. That's to say is above-average pretty, has big tits etc. The opposite thing where they'd go "So-and-so is so fat and ugly", very rare, actually. And then nearly always from a youngish troublemaker with obvious attitude problems. Practically gone at the offset of adulthood, but then again, that's also when we tend to separate in social strata, so I couldn't actually say. There's a thing tho… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 28/04/26 08:31 AM |
| 1 | Reducing dating to stats and attributes is an American thing.I've not seen it outspoken in any way. Apart from grade school were everything could be picked on. Fat, freckles, too short, too tall, no. Not really. And I've seen too many couples formed that defies the notion that it'd be much of a thing. Only thing I've heard was from extreme examples, a guy who had child leukemia and was thus stunted in growth at a child's stature. His concern was that the few women interested in him had a risk of turning out to be closeted pedos, using him to legally live … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 28/04/26 08:20 AM |
| 2 | Reducing dating to stats and attributes is an American thing.I've gotten the sense that we're talking in a distorted space but, Am I wrong to think there's something more to it when I say, watch a documentary about the movie Back to the Future, and they say they had to replace the female star because Michael J Fox is so short "and no high-school girl would want to be seen with someone shorter than them". Then I think wow, these people are absolutely nuts, and it's probably a widespread thing. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 28/04/26 08:10 AM |
| 12 | Teen boys are choosing AI girlfriends over real ones for ‘maximum control, zero rejection’—experts say it could make them unemployableExperts = idiot propagandists There's men around of various ages who never had a relationship, but they hold jobs to the same degree as others. | /r/MensRights | 24/04/26 11:24 AM |
| 1 | It seems hard for men to do some introspection.Haha! So the "criticism" is always valid? Like the ones who raise it really know what they talk about? That's rich. If any men state any preference clearly, someone will take offense. If they say they want a wife who doesn't work more than part time so she can look after the home, that's "sexist" somehow. Or, they can ignore all that noise entirely, and like you say, follow their own wants. But my addition to that is that it doesn't jive with listening to society attempting to mold their wants. … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 24/04/26 06:10 AM |
| 2 | It seems hard for men to do some introspection.Men are conflicted because of the messaging which routinely frame them as "sexist pigs" if they actually do state their desires honestly. There's no celebration choir of friendly articles validating his normal or out-of-the-norm desires in the same way there is for women. That can make it hard to reach clarity, even for oneself. But introspection is right, and the answer "I don't give a fuck about what society say I should like." is at the end of that tunnel. But that also means... That the same… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 23/04/26 08:00 PM |
| – | It’s willful ignorance on men’s part to think women never cared about physical attractiveness.Yes, but this is nuanced. Of course there has been preferences also in the past, but they were just that, preferences. And they were often offset by the fact that, you couldn't have someone who matched them maybe, or maybe you got a rare connection with someone who didn't clock in on those. Then preferences were easily shoved aside but... hard disqualifiers is the new thing, and that's a very different beast. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 18/04/26 02:08 PM |
| – | Do you feel shame about desiring women?I definately used to. There was a lot of toxic feminism going on in my youth. My family, my school teachers, incessantly in media, and we were still linear TV-watchers back then btw. It seemed, the only way to maintain control was to exorcise your own desire, because when you have it, you're cast in that role of gross and potentially dangerous. Desire doesn't go away entirely of course. It works fine when you're alone. It's more that you develop a switch. You see skin, you switch off, before you… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 18/04/26 01:10 PM |
| – | It’s willful ignorance on men’s part to think women never cared about physical attractiveness.None of this is common sense, because these are some very fast social changes. Women used to focus less on men's looks but with the advent of dating apps a lot of women, even plain ones, could vye for attention from much more men, and compare what they looked like. Not only that, but the apps don't make much room for anything else to go by. That's one thing which have hyper-spiked the importance of looks but there's more. Influencers and the "femisphere". Women are very prone to get sucked up by… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 18/04/26 12:32 PM |
| 6 | Yes, some women actually want to be single and childlessI get more of the "immune to loneliness" message these days. There's been a serious uptick in videos massing about "men want peace", and they imply that you can only have that in case you rationalize away relationships with women and abstain from making families. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 18/04/26 11:52 AM |
| 4 | Some women or some feminists only say that MGTOW men should actually go their own way, because they think only losers are MGTOW.They wouldn't care about that, or if they did, they wouldn't tell you their opinion. This because their framework is liberal and "Do no harm" danger mitigation. Someone who doesn't participate can't be coerced. And if he doesn't cause anything they consider a problem, then that falls also. Not dating doesn't conflict with any boundaries set by other people. The feminist framework actually doesn't care in case cultures dillute and disappear due to low birth rates + migration. A lot of them even t… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 16/04/26 02:28 PM |
| 4 | Society made it so that women can earn equal to men and now women can no longer find someone who earns more than them. Women today have been so masculinized that they don't even find men attractive.That's because the shitty low wage jobs shouldn't be allowed as such. If there are not enough takers, salary and conditions have to go up. Maybe also competence demands (refinement). Are you one of those lost modern leftists who doesn't even realize your feeding the worst of capitalism (salary dumping), by turning underpaid and deprioritized work into migrant work. As if this was something solidaric. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 11/04/26 11:19 AM |
| -1 | Men not caring enough about men's issues is not the problem. The problem is that women only ever think about women's issues.The family law equity is commendable, but you know as well as I do, that these feminists will not be allowed to even speak from any mainstream media platform unless it's a piece that's been curated into oblivion. Not unless all the edges which just happens to point towards mothers are carefully filed down, and there's also a few gratuitous groin kicks aimed at fathers. Or the article won't even see the light of day. So that's one thing, idealist and "lived feminists" must side with the men on th… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 11/04/26 08:42 AM |
| 7 | Society made it so that women can earn equal to men and now women can no longer find someone who earns more than them. Women today have been so masculinized that they don't even find men attractive.This only works if the country can cherry pick who's allowed to migrate in, based on utility. Think Singapore. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 11/04/26 08:12 AM |
| 1 | Most Men Would Still Fail Even If they suddenly started getting more matchesNo first hand experience dating by apps, but it sounds like the challenge here is that you should make things personal/authentic a lot quicker, on the actual date? Because, if what you're up against is the abundance and the face value/superficial grading, then your best bet is to bring in something of a completely different category, soon. Make sure to quickly turn from a "random" to someone distinct. What I mean is, normal dating was a longer segue where you start very regulated and measured , … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 28/03/26 11:13 AM |
| 1 | Most Men Would Still Fail Even If they suddenly started getting more matchesNo first hand experience dating by apps, but it sounds like the challenge here is that you should make things personal/authentic a lot quicker, on the actual date? Because, if what you're up against is the abundance and the face value/superficial grading, then your best bet is to bring in something of a completely different category, soon. Make sure to quickly turn from a "random" to someone distinct. What I mean is, normal dating was a longer segue where you start very regulated and measured , … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 28/03/26 11:12 AM |
| 1 | Sex is a trap, especially for men.You need to be careful with that, and think thoroughly about what you really want. Do you want to have a completely sexually and intimately fulfilling relationship with someone, Or do you first and foremost want eternal autonomy and a completely self-governed hyper individualist life? This latter thing is very in vouge now, but it so easily slips into over-regulation and surpression. That magically perfect emotional self-regulation people are supposed to practice, well it's mostly fantasy. What … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 28/03/26 10:12 AM |
| 1 | Sex is a trap, especially for men.This are two conflicting value systems. What do you want most? Is it rich sexual and emotional fulfillment with someone or, Is it to achieve a kind of eternal autonomy and hyper-individualist self-governed life, where no relationship can even rival the relationship with your own self? Lately, the latter thing has increasingly been pushed as value, and yes, there's a degree of where this is laudable if you're a woman, but met with deep scepticism if you are male. But lets be honest, these two thi… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 28/03/26 09:07 AM |
| 2 | Too many people confuse covert narcissism with being vulnerable.Lots of good thoughts. As for the "why". I think it varies but roughly, they want to be fully seen by women somehow, and they should probably look into that. Personally, I seriously question the modern ideal that your spouse should also be your best friend. Who came up with that? It doesn't make any sense. A good friend, yes. Someone who pulls in the same direction, offers stability, company and a bit of fun, yes, but best friend??? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 20/03/26 07:47 PM |
| 1 | Too many people confuse covert narcissism with being vulnerable.Yeah... This is a topic oscillating between extremes. The counter examples are also very valid. There are many many women who've grown up in the idea that they are "Oh so great at dealing with people". Many can regurgitate a majority-held pop-psych thought making it's rounds though the "femisphere" but not apply any of their own critical thinking. They can perform listening, but don't actually know how to individually level with someone. And that happens when the world immediately sees you as co… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 20/03/26 03:53 PM |
| 1 | Too many people confuse covert narcissism with being vulnerable.I like this perspective because it acknowledges that gender on it's own brings some things to the table that are immutable. It's annoying those that like to pretend anyone's replacable when it comes to this, depending on individual capabilities. Such as, a single mom can raise a son and be a great role-model in all aspects. And that no father-figure existed didn't mean anything of value was lost. I think it's hubris too, one which says "women completely got all the emotional/psychological topics… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 20/03/26 02:53 PM |
| – | single moms are honestly great and have no problem getting a “good guy”Always inform yourself of the situation. There are some great single moms, I think. They have it all covered but (understandably) don't have much time for themselves. I've been hit on by a few I'd suspect would've made great fwbs(with emphasis also placed on 'friend') and probably weren't angling for all that much more. Being the one saught for for bringing some fun and life back is hell of a gratifying thing too. But perhaps some other ones are angling to be "rescued" and that's something else.… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 12/03/26 02:04 PM |
| 1 | For Men in Relationships: Is Emotional Love or Physical Desire More Important?The first option is fine on condition. Say she's something of a "pragmatic f**ker". Not everyone has the capacity to even be all that hot for appearance. Many women don't get so instantly attracted to men, any men, and their bodies. Intimacy is still nice in all other respects and nothing she minds doing frequently. That's fine. Can be ideal even. Unless you are a coquettish man who needs to be valued for your ass and your jawline. But key distinction here, she wouldn't go instantly hot for anyo… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 12/03/26 09:32 AM |
| 1 | Why Is Society So Comfortable Mocking Sexually Unsuccessful Men?Pathetic and defensive. Completely missing the point. I bet you don't even understand the implications of gender politics? I'll clue you in then. Not long ago, in fact still ongoing, there's been a bazillion articles, propaganda, and messaging (often even tax-funded) regarding "Men are wrong! Men must change!" The frame has been attempted logic from feminists etc. to try and shape gender. And where logic failed (which is quite often), shame and intimidation has been the M.O. This has completely … | /r/MensRights | 11/03/26 11:53 AM |
| 9 | Why Is Society So Comfortable Mocking Sexually Unsuccessful Men?Hmm? Roughly the same as the amount of women who couldn't find commitment for being too fat, maybe. Are we having fun now? Is this dignified? | /r/MensRights | 09/03/26 07:40 PM |
| 2 | The hypocrisy in asking men to be confident.Classic. Platitudes and self-serving "help". I'd question an odd miserable person's desperation to even fit into mainstream-like situations I have, several times actually, suggested alternative scenes and places, were "normal" isn't quite the currency. Ofc. given some direct pointers if I sense they have a behavior that would still piss people off but... I don't understand this obsession with normal, classic status hierarchies etc. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 09/03/26 03:11 PM |
| 5 | The hypocrisy in asking men to be confident.That is a more significant issue on this topic. I'm mainly interested in the fact that confident people are less pliable and agreeable in times when they genuinely don't agree with any shared value, norm, platitude thinking etc. People have a dual contradictive motivation where they on the one hand want men to be personally strong and resolute, while on the other hand seek to reform men to fit some kind of ideal. (Alternatively conserve men in some conventional mold) Those two things naturally c… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 09/03/26 09:31 AM |
| 2 | The hypocrisy in asking men to be confident.Social awareness is assumed here. In fact, insecure people are hyper aware of norms, all topics that may be even slightly polarizing. Hell, they even throw in some barriers and inhibitions that nobody really asked of them. Other than that, you explain a lot of sound checks and balances pretty well. There's baselines to live up to. But those are more about the modes of behavior and conduct. It doesn't contradict honesty. Not daring to be honest because it might/might not(who cares?) challenge a c… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 09/03/26 07:25 AM |
| 1 | The hypocrisy in asking men to be confident.I think that might make sense in a more normative culture where things actually hold together in some kind of unity, but look at politics now. Would you say it's conducted now in any way that seems norm regulated or moderate? Heck no, it's polarizing as hell. It defies collective norms in all kinds of way. So why is it that regular people would be tasked with being overly pliant to a polite society that no longer meaningfully exist? Look, I'm not saying anyone should go out and wilfully act like… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 09/03/26 07:07 AM |
| 5 | The hypocrisy in asking men to be confident.Most norms make half sense. Would there be a reason to break a conversational norm that says: You start a conversation with a new person exchanging names, then "I work with so-and-so" Of course not. That's just a practical norm. But eventually, you run into a norm, or even a bias against you, that you find abjectly stupid and nonsensical. Do you think those things deserve to be understood and maneuvered? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 08/03/26 10:45 PM |
| 4 | The hypocrisy in asking men to be confident.That's a good story. I call BS on a lot of social/political taboos. I also call BS on that people being easily offended. It's not the subject matters so much as the attitude and the delivery. What more is, people's so-called dating requirements and "red flags" don't often amount to more than a cool online look. Same woman in your story might've said online she absolutely doesn't bother with people who aren't conscious about <social issue>. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 08/03/26 10:32 PM |
| – | The hypocrisy in asking men to be confident.Hear hear! | /r/PurplePillDebate | 08/03/26 09:55 PM |
| 10 | The hypocrisy in asking men to be confident.That does seem right, in isolation, but there's also the matter of gendered experience. Men as a class have been incessantly picked on by progressives, but also conservatives, for the last decades. Constant shaming, gaslighting and attempts to reshape us to fit some utopian vision. True, women are still shat upon by conservatives to a degree, but we're getting it in stereo lol. Even if authenticity is individual, it will in the individual scenarios often be at least somewhat related to disregard… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 08/03/26 09:33 PM |
| 1 | The hypocrisy in asking men to be confident.That's actually valid. A confident person may bullshit more successfully, But where's his self respect if he has to do that? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 08/03/26 05:21 PM |
| 8 | The hypocrisy in asking men to be confident.Oh yes, but don't you think it shows differently along the gendered lines? I do. When men are authentic it comes with a "and I don't really care if you agree with me or if you don't". And that's the end of that. It's individualistic. When women authentically disagree, it more often then moves toward group discussion and a push towards a prosocial inclusion. Academics and news papers might follow suit. All to shift the lines of acceptable variation within the confines of "the new normal". That's … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 08/03/26 05:13 PM |
| 8 | The hypocrisy in asking men to be confident.Honesty isn't offensive or aggressive. Whether someone deems it as such is relative to opinion, ideology and such. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 08/03/26 04:38 PM |
| 3 | The hypocrisy in asking men to be confident.Pretty much, yeah. But confident people also sometimes invent the social script as they go along. And then people with weaker confidence might adopt the script the confident person just invented. Sometimes norms, biases, stigmas etc. are as easy to crush (locally), as punching through a cardboard wall. If you are that solid person. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 08/03/26 04:31 PM |
| 2 | The hypocrisy in asking men to be confident.Not my argument, but that's an interesting thought. What I believe confidence does is to drastically improve the sorting process with honesty. Man may still fail, for lack of status or whatever, but he'll be trying with people with which he has more in common probably? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 08/03/26 04:29 PM |
| 16 | The hypocrisy in asking men to be confident.And at the same time, if they actually meet the man who has endless reserves of confidence, they might get miffed about how he isn't mallable? He can't be pressured, guilted, coaxed or pushed. If you disagree with him on something, want him to change his tune, you must logically convince him otherwise. No other way. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 08/03/26 04:26 PM |
| 1 | The hypocrisy in asking men to be confident.That doesn't contradict anything about what I even said? It's a side discussion. And if I read it correctly, it rather strengthens my argument. The people lacking confidence want the universe to provide them with a stamp of Good Valid Person, which of course will never come. They want to be absolved by a grand collective that doesn't meaningfully exist, and then they'll believe in themselves, supposedly. Yeah, no wonder they are a total drag to date. They want YOU, as a partner to provide that. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 08/03/26 04:21 PM |
| 9 | The hypocrisy in asking men to be confident.Confident men are safer. They have nothing to prove. But they do offend sensibilities more. A man who's kind of a "benign swine" is safer than the nervous nice guy-posing man who's sort of impossible to discern who he really is. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 08/03/26 03:55 PM |
| 2 | The hypocrisy in asking men to be confident.I said learning confidence is GOOD advice, but that the people who often suggest it aren't okay with how it then plays out. When this advice giver is also invested in a degree of hegemonic thinking they believe everyone should follow, their advice is insincere. Personally, I think it's better when nasty people are overt rather than covert (out of fear). Makes it easier to steer clear of them really. It's only a magic formula in so far that it removes people who don't jive and who don't agree fas… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 08/03/26 03:53 PM |
| 8 | The hypocrisy in asking men to be confident.I don't see that really, but I agree that tacked on bravado is a defence mechanism, not confidence. That's a thing on it's own. What prompted me to write was partially a developement in the work climate. I work alongside mostly other men and there's been a big difference. Guy at work can confidently say "I think it's time to ban asylum migration" (unthinkable opinion in the 2010s). Then the leftist/humanist guy objects. The two then calmly weigh and broker opinion without any heated argument. A … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 08/03/26 03:44 PM |
| 5 | The hypocrisy in asking men to be confident.It doesn't mean that. If he finds the social expectation makes sense, he follows it. But when it doesn't, he willingly falls out of it. It all depends on who he is and what he believes. A lot of confident people believe in the norms that surround them, maybe aren't all that thoughtful and opinionated, but that doesn't mean they are afraid of diverging. But for arguments sake. Say he's a complete asshole, then yes, it's unfiltered and he'll transgress norms fast. That nukes a lot of options, but … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 08/03/26 03:33 PM |
| 1 | Men actively police the preferences, sexual tastes, and dating choices of other men, and it makes everyone miserableYou got a point here, but this isn't something that works in isolation, norms that is. Firstly, women do the same kind of policing. The height thing? Did you know that outside of american/anglosphere context, it's not much of a thing? Unfortunately, it's begun coloring off on scandinavian women too. Far too many of them hivemind into listening to vulgar and obnoxious American podcasters. Instead of having a chauvinistic and healthily antisocial "Haha, look at what vapid nonsense the americ*nts o… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 08/03/26 10:40 AM |
| – | Being single and paying for it is far better than being a simp these days.You can also be with a grey asexual. (Not talking about sex-averse asexuals. Big difference) Meaning, there are some people who are pragmatic and completely unsentimental about sex. They don't mind having it semi-regularly. They find it cozy, that it affirms the relationship, but on the whole, it's not something that really does much for them. It's not about you. It's just the way they are. They seldom initiate, but mostly agree in case you do. That's because on most days, they tend to forget se… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 08/03/26 10:19 AM |
| 1 | Is The "Women And Children" Narrative Misandrist?They didn't prioritize women and children first. Look, my initial comment, I just meant it's not a situation(sinking ship) that happens often enough to warrant much of a discussion. I only meant that when that ship stranded, it was something talked about, both while it happened, and then in debates afterwards. But the ship didn't quite sink. It tilted and got stuck so, it's ultimately a moot point. All it goes to show is that "women and children first" is a culturally ingrained idea. But it also… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 08/03/26 09:47 AM |
| 1 | Is The "Women And Children" Narrative Misandrist?I never claimed it sunk. If I remember correctly, it just sort of tipped on the side and got stuck in the shallow water? There was talk and confusion on the boat though whether they should or shouldn't apply "women and children first", before it was obvious it wouldn't go under. There was tons of debate afterwards though whether that rule does or doesn't apply with people on both ends. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 07/03/26 09:21 PM |
| 1 | Is The "Women And Children" Narrative Misandrist?Indeed. Not that it often comes into play very often, but Costa Concordia was a contemporary example. It should now be "parents and children first". | /r/PurplePillDebate | 07/03/26 05:02 PM |
| 1 | From here on, the only occasion men should be giving women money is when they're availing of a hooker's service.The power dynamic? Give me a break. You're not exactly tipping your hand, but the fact that you opened your conversation with a variation of "who hurt you?", a stock phrase for self-proclaimed lefties and feminists makes me wonder. But I shouldn't assume too much. Straight question then. Are you one of those who believe in feminist identity politics, systemic privilege and all that jazz? Because if you are, our discussion is fruitless. I'm egalitarian and I don't endorse inversed/indirect sexism… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 07/03/26 04:52 PM |
| 1 | From here on, the only occasion men should be giving women money is when they're availing of a hooker's service.Yes, of course, but weak-willed people can be manipulated and coerced into doing things they don't want to do. I have questions about your moral consistency though. When a sleeze bag fraud love bombs elderly widows to get to their bank accounts, are you appalled? Or do you think "Dumb old bats, how could they even fall for it?" The last one is at least consistent. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 07/03/26 04:18 PM |
| – | From here on, the only occasion men should be giving women money is when they're availing of a hooker's service.Cool, we'll dismiss every kind of partner abuse with that thinking. "You were horny enough to enter a relationship with this man. You brought this on yourself." | /r/PurplePillDebate | 07/03/26 04:09 PM |
| – | From here on, the only occasion men should be giving women money is when they're availing of a hooker's service.Do you have an actual point? Because I do. If a man abuses a woman, shame on him. If a woman abuses a man, shame on him again, because he failed to be "man enough" or whatever. I don't buy those biases. Intersectional identity politics needs to die in a fire. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 07/03/26 03:58 PM |
| – | From here on, the only occasion men should be giving women money is when they're availing of a hooker's service.Wasn't anyone I actually knew very well, and the next person, I never met. This community was quite large. But I was close friends with someone who were a lot closer to both of those guys. I should say that, my own participation was very slight, mainly just contributed to talks about what's strategic when you report something like this. So it's not mistaken, and looks like some easily dismissed nonsense. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 07/03/26 03:35 PM |
| – | From here on, the only occasion men should be giving women money is when they're availing of a hooker's service.Noone, but I've seen others been used, thoroughly. Best example I got, there was a girl I met at parties, loosely related to a larger gathering I was in. I was never in any close relation to her but like a piranha, she found herself a weak-willed nerdy guy of the type who's exstatic over the fact that a woman, any woman, would like to be with him. Long story short, they had a relationshit were he was bled completely dry. And when he was spent, she moved over to the next. Same situation, all over… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 07/03/26 03:13 PM |
| – | From here on, the only occasion men should be giving women money is when they're availing of a hooker's service.I'll never understand people who spend and give freebies to someone who might not even sleep with them. So far I agree with you. But if she already has? Why wouldn't you treat her to a restaurant some time? Why wouldn't you take her out and buy a couple of drinks? Yeah, don't overdo it, and don't let it become eternally one-sided of course. She must give things in return. But you shouldn't bean count too closely. That's death to any happy relationship, to reduce it to economy. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 07/03/26 02:55 PM |
| – | it’s depressing that money feels like the only way out .I think I chose words that made you see red and lost the concept entirely of my actual argument. Let's be more precise. Don't do it for it's own good. Do it for your own ego. Because earning status in a community makes you feel damn good about yourself. This ensures you don't feel like your time's being wasted when there's no prospective dates around. That could be something of a wait. PS. Avoid groups that are too static and insular. The "yada yada balding janitor" of my example, that guy. Even… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 07/03/26 02:38 PM |
| – | From here on, the only occasion men should be giving women money is when they're availing of a hooker's service.That sounds right, but I'll add that where the damage was already done, those men have a right to hold resentment over those who wronged them. You can(should) grow therapeutically, learn agency and boundaries, but you can still hold hate for those who abused you. There's a problem with the narrative when a woman abuses a man. Like people rush in to trivialize the transgression and then stress that the man must grow, so he doesn't put himself in that situation again. Ofc, the latter is true, but … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 07/03/26 02:16 PM |
| 1 | From here on, the only occasion men should be giving women money is when they're availing of a hooker's service.Indeed. Those men need to learn how to stomp out the love they might feel for such manipulative parents, and then the illusion shatters. Furthermore, men need to be taught that gender roles, majority culture etc. is poised to exploit them. The default is "human doing", be it money, effort, heavy lifting etc. so do not deliver. They should know that most women, and society on the whole aren't worthy of their masculinity. Scorched earth tactic. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 07/03/26 01:39 PM |
| – | it’s depressing that money feels like the only way out .Dude, here's a freebie for you: Find some kind of social group, hobby, maybe a fandom? and go integrate. This should be something you A. like In it's own right B. a place where you in some respects outshine other people in terms of effort and competence. (You're a freaking med student, so ofc you possess some great strengths) When you're the guy who organize events, hosts the parties and very importantly, acts like the social facilitator between the people involved, you become the alpha, so to s… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 07/03/26 11:20 AM |
| 1 | Dating isn’t about what you deserve. It’s about what you’re attracted to.Leagues in dating is more of a secondary thing, and that's what trips people up. What the guy you describe is, more precisely, is in leagues above you in terms of class background, wealth, social status. And if he's also more "mainstream attractive" than you, those things are amplified. The probability that the two of you would be a good match is thus much lower right from the start. You probably wouldn't get one another. It will often make sense then to assume incompatibility straight away with… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 07/03/26 11:01 AM |
| 1 | Dating isn’t about what you deserve. It’s about what you’re attracted to.Nothing wrong with recognizing leagues. What else do you call it when someone is widely considered more good looking than you, when they definitely are wealthier and/or possess more status? Being of aware of leagues doesn't automatically turn you bitter or that you start to reframe everyone in an economic manner of +- traits and assets. What it more often does is that the people in your lane so to speak turn more attractive, because you find them more relatable. You estimate the chances better t… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 07/03/26 09:25 AM |
| – | If women want to see certain changes in men, they should reward the men who embody that idealWell yeah of course. Jobs are necessary, and some basic integration into a workplace but on that subject... You could work anywhere, without anything really holding you down. You could sell all your shit and switch countries on a whim if you wanted to. No point investing in any future if you've actually given up creating and building relationships tbh. But anyway, I think you're missing my larger point here. I'm pointing out that giving up, really giving up on this, removes a ton of "obligations… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 01/03/26 11:33 AM |
| 4 | Are male suicide statistics discussed enough in public policy?Only in Finland. It's the country that launched a National program and blew a fuckton of tax money into charting the problem, identifying all the groups at risk, then built action plans, report chains, support networks. With that, they managed to significantly reduce the suicide statistics. It was also specifically targeted at the male demography. It's the only global example I know of, and that's saying something. No other country has given a shit. All that's done whenever the topic's opened an… | /r/MensRights | 27/02/26 01:40 PM |
| 1 | If women want to see certain changes in men, they should reward the men who embody that idealWhy wouldn't you stand out? You said it yourself. You've lost the game and you consider it final. What opens up from there is subversive freedom. You don't need to be charming, chase status, or advance in any way. So much of what people are motivated by ties back to being desireable, for sex, for love, for relations. You on the other hand could sport a garish shirt with a Disney motif if you feel like. That the act probably tanks any theoretical attractiveness even further simply doesn't matter.… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 27/02/26 11:58 AM |
| 7 | Men say that they don't have in group bias, because it's not proven, but it actually is.Nobody likes a know-it-all. The same guys who talks over women at work, and explain things everyone already knows, do the exact same thing to male colleagues, and nobody likes it. Could we speak up? Maybe, but openly critiquing attitude in a modern workplace blows up in anyone's face. It's not like you can do that as a male colleague without also landing yourself in some real shit. So that men could, but women would suffer more, is a fat lie. Ironically, before all this superficial HR-obsessed a… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 27/02/26 11:12 AM |
| 4 | Men say that they don't have in group bias, because it's not proven, but it actually is.Ah, she's talking about "mansplaining"! Guys, are we still doing that in person? I thought we moved all of that into online anonymous spaces? Isn't the current M.O that we treat women around us, and in professional settings: curtly, impersonally, work-only and topped with an uninviting superficial politeness? If I remember, the strategy now wasn't to make them feel incompetent but alone and excluded, but I've lost track. I'm real sorry, but I've been crazy busy, I've skipped reading so many of t… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 27/02/26 10:54 AM |
| 1 | Apparently, men dehumanizing women is a normal part of male sexuality.Don't you think that it might be situational then? You mentioned the shared activities, but there you've both brought other things than sex to the table. You cannot be reduced like that now. But random encounters, app dates etc. what really is there? What's even safe to appreciate about someone you start from zero with? Chances are it'll flunk out, and the more you've already appreciates and attached to that person, the more it will sting when it's a no, and you won't be seeing them again. In yo… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 26/02/26 12:27 PM |
| 18 | This "treat me like a human" thing that women repeat is something men could say too.Another option is to impose harsh standards. "Does my date do anything to make me feel seen, entertained, amused or stimulated? Or is it just me?" If "no" then she can take a hike and screw all excuses about necessary guardedness etc. Women of old could entertain men even when they ultimately wouldn't sleep with them. So wilfully let more dates fail, but affirm yourself every time. Stubornly refuse to recognize a loss as a loss, and instead steal a win to your ego. At the end of it, you may come… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 26/02/26 12:00 PM |
| 1 | CMV: Most young men would benefit greatly from going on as many dates as possible.I understand this is the app-based approach and some of it sort of makes sense if that's the only thing that existed. But in that case, I'd rather reccomend to move around in friend groups, hobby gatherings as well as hitting it off with randoms in bars. Mingle, engage in small talk. Search for that compliment which might strike an emotional chord with someone. Flirt shamelessly, but inoccously clever at first, in the "If they read it as a flirt, that's their problem". Until someone holds you in… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 26/02/26 11:09 AM |
| 1 | CMV: Most young men would benefit greatly from going on as many dates as possible.I may be reading you wrong but you say "dating women they actually like" and "men should pursue women they are interested in, not just women they find attractive." The problem is I've tested the argument on this site before. Personally, I don't really have a type. My capacity for even feeling immediate attraction is sort of ruined anyway. I made a suggestion that it makes sense to just ignore and overlook women that are widely considered attractive as routine. It's more likely she'll be used wit… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 26/02/26 10:55 AM |
| 1 | The red Pillers have no moral framework against ephebophiliaI'm curious about the feminist view of male gerontophilia then. It's more rare, surely, but who knows whether it might kick off and become more widespread? I've noted that some young men, late teens/early 20's hook up with women in their 30's. Because risk of an older person abusing you > being falsely accused by someone immature? Or maybe because youthfulness becomes it's own selling point? There's also a small minority of men in their 40's now angling for women in their 50's and up "Because th… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 26/02/26 08:51 AM |
| 4 | Do men need variety?I'll answer no, but I'm an outlier. I can't bring myself to find any stranger interesting like that. Also, my attraction is very egocentric and defensive. I can't feel that way about anyone who isn't completely into me first. The logistics of that is so complicated, and my relationship is +10 years now so I can't even identify that need, no. Questions about whether I'm content in my relationship happens from time to time, but that's different. Then it helps reading about how awful dating has bec… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 25/02/26 08:11 PM |
| – | Men have strong "men are wonderful" bias which makes it impossible to talk about any behavior any men display.Oh, then we misunderstand each other. It's perfectly fine to compare views and opinions in a free marketplace of ideas. That's what's done here and in countless other places. I thought you followed on my initial comment about subsidized institutions etc. when you started talking about pants and skirts. My argument is that we shouldn't pay for those kinds of studies or launch programs to coax people into making the "right" choices. Because that's illiberal. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 25/02/26 06:16 PM |
| – | Men have strong "men are wonderful" bias which makes it impossible to talk about any behavior any men display.Oh, so you do think you need state social engineering, aided from universities, mainstream press and state subsidized "NGO's" (actual GOs because they recieve state funding). I'm sorry to hear that, and this comes from my country, Sweden. Here, the term "social engineering"(social ingenjörskonst) is a positive phrase and not the totalitarian phenomenon it actually is. Someone studied the origin of modern identiarian intersectionality and yeah, sorry to say, it originates mostly from Sweden. Come… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 25/02/26 06:06 PM |
| 1 | If women want to see certain changes in men, they should reward the men who embody that idealNot to contradict your self-assesment at all but there's a thing I wonder. Let's say your at peace with this, completely. You carry yourself as a man who is. You couldn't give a crap about how other people judge you by appearance or whatever. You don't even care if you lightly upset people sometimes by talking real. Your sense of social shame is now dead, so those situations are just objectively funny to you. But all this happens to come across as unusual confidence, which you might not consciou… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 25/02/26 03:52 PM |
| – | Men have strong "men are wonderful" bias which makes it impossible to talk about any behavior any men display.If you're a western woman, not a cultural minority, didn't escape a religious sect, then the risk's incredibly low that any man ever directly dictated any significant life choice of yours. Your father did not make plans to marry you off to his boss's son or something. As for the rest of the things you say, skirts and pants, that matters, how? It's not an important question for the majority of people. It's just clothes. It certainly doesn't warrant me as a tax payer to first contribute to someone… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 25/02/26 02:46 PM |
| – | Men have strong "men are wonderful" bias which makes it impossible to talk about any behavior any men display."toxic masculinity" You actually approve of that as a valid theoretical concept? I just want to ask, Do you see any particular areas then where you as a grown woman reeeaally need a state institute to launch a campaign about changing your or other women's "attitudes" over something? Would you like a couple of decades with many 1000's of faux-academic articles printed about how much every female archetype that existed is flawed and wrong somehow. Always under a fake veneer of legitimacy and "conc… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 25/02/26 01:12 PM |
| 2 | What do women think about a guy who ignores them?I don't think women will complain about this much, not on the individual level anyway, but I will. It's a petty ass posture sometimes, isn't it? People who realize there are sometimes risk interacting with people, that those people may for fleeting moments think you might be flirting. And the answer to that dilemma is to never speak to anyone apparently? No friendly words in passing, no brief banter, no acknowledging other people exist... if those people are women. I think men that do this now a… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 25/02/26 12:24 PM |
| 1 | Marriage is a substitute for love.Not going to argue that. It had nothing to do with the choice to marry. That was rather my conviction that it is the one acceptable setting for bringing children into the world. But I'm not complaining over the little status boost I felt at work. That was a nice bonus. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 25/02/26 12:12 PM |
| – | Men have strong "men are wonderful" bias which makes it impossible to talk about any behavior any men display.There are instances when yes, that behavior seems a bit obnoxious, but you have to realize the context we're in. The project of established feminism and leftism, in media, in many academic institutions is a concentrated effort to propagandize against men. To reahape them. To efface their individuality. Their opinions. And to replace it all with some idiot's idea of "healthy masculinity". People who aren't men feel entitled to dictate what men should be, and there's even state programs for it. Wh… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 25/02/26 12:04 PM |
| 1 | Marriage is a substitute for love.I'm with you there. I'd die before (lol) I'd allow my assets to be inherited by the state's little robbery chest for funding ill-advised fluff projects (how things work in my country). It should be passed to children or spouse. Granted, lacking that, it is possible to draft a will to siblings and other parts of your family but that just feels less satisfactory. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 25/02/26 10:31 AM |
| 1 | Marriage is a substitute for love.It's more of a society/community thing. It's also a ritual thing. And like it or not, a lot of married people with families do make a kind of cultural separation between others like them, and people that are eternal bachelors, doing messy situationships well up in their forties aso. I'm going to narrow in on something, but I don't mean it's THE point with marriage. Just one aspect: Reputationally and statuswise it opens doors. I for instance am in IT. There's always a base caution there that, wh… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 25/02/26 08:17 AM |
| 4 | If women want to see certain changes in men, they should reward the men who embody that idealAh, that's the type of guy I like to call a 'chameleon'. It's sort of the same kind who'd become a precense in mainstream news or academia as this "male feminist champion". Eventually it always turns out he's sexually coerced or raped women on some book publishing tour. Everyone gets sooo surprised he would do that, and he's ousted of course. But men who aren't sitting in the same ideological swamp can see that coming from a mile away. What tells us off in advance is the choleric misandry-dresse… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 22/02/26 09:03 AM |
| 1 | If women want to see certain changes in men, they should reward the men who embody that idealYounger idealist women actually do this. They are more often seen dating men that don't fit masculine molds. I'm guessing sometimes they go beyond what they primarily find attractive and instead go for what they "should" find attractive instead. PS. The guys in these scenarios chime in with or fully agrees with most of her liberal lefty opinions. Of course, it can be true attraction too now, because peer pressure and "what will my friends think" has diminished some. Kind of the same thing as how… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 22/02/26 08:46 AM |
| 1 | Young Men's Perception Of What Responsible Masculinity Looks Like, And Women's Perception Of Men In General Are Distorted.While I'd gladly have a discussion about media representation, it's a mistake to believe it is that influential in forming minds and self-image. That said, I DO think lib/activist dogma has poisoned minds a bit with their myopic portrayal of men, but mainly churned out a lot of bad movies that will never make history. Though it's not that one-sided and there are plenty of counter examples. One bigger flaw I see both culturally and in entertainment is that men are being defined by achievement. Su… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 13/02/26 08:54 AM |
| 2 | The things that progressive or blue pill women prefer in dating, are usually the things they hate about society in general.Only the younger ones. Yes, you do seem they with their lanky, poor posture, decidedly unmanly, boyfriends which... I think is nice! I may not agree with these women's beliefs but they live as they learn. I've seen young women like that ream out a drunk older woman at a bar for pinching a guy in the butt. It's impressive with people who actually live by their moral compass, without making, in this case, intersectional (fancy word for hypocritical) exceptions. Older so-called progressive women, G… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 10/02/26 11:47 PM |
| 1 | Your values and goals affect your type and who you surround yourself with.I'll object with one caveat but otherwise I think it's a good post. Men who have not yet had a first relationship often don't have a type. They lack the self-knowledge of themselves in a relationship context to even be able to tell. There are women like that too, and both are in a dangerous position. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 09/02/26 07:12 PM |
| 3 | What are some common Woman dating Mistakes?Good. Then save your sanity and don't look into it. 🙂 | /r/PurplePillDebate | 09/02/26 06:37 PM |
| 5 | What are some common Woman dating Mistakes?Right, that makes sense. Agency negates blackpill, but there's that "all is their fault" mentality too. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 09/02/26 06:36 PM |
| 26 | What are some common Woman dating Mistakes?Oh wow, this sounds like FDS which is like the women's own version of blackpill. Repackaged incel-thinking in the vein of "externalise everything on the hated and desired Other" Think she might be a poster on those subs? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 09/02/26 06:07 PM |
| 1 | Men know that they have to compete but when it's time to act they give up to their egoUh.. Thanks for being compared with an mpreg RP'ing octopus? 🤣 I know you didn't mean that precisely but I'll go with it. I see something too it. There are places and groups where things are a bit different, where men don't have to pretend being the full package. I feel it funny to observe young couples in progressive parts of town. Young prog. women, are often accompanied by decidedly unmanly boyfriends. Bad posture, low physicality/body precense etc. It's not what I personally would want, but … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 09/02/26 06:01 PM |
| 1 | Men know that they have to compete but when it's time to act they give up to their egoFor sure! What's overlooked by many is that there's actually multiple dating economies that deal in many different currencies. It doesn't always make sense to go where it's the most crowded and competititive. The thing that's said with dating apps is that it's less embarassing to approach, because everyone there is obviously looking, but the downside is that these people start from zero, not having anything in common. Whereas, if you work groups and communities, both the men and women have alrea… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 09/02/26 02:22 PM |
| 1 | Men know that they have to compete but when it's time to act they give up to their egoNo thanks. I chose "loopholes" and alternatives. You can work your friend, hobby and community groups instead. I was in very large ones, made myself something like a central figure in some. This is achieved by making sure you're a community contributor, provide value and invest yourself there. Then the women in the same group get curious about you. You're situationally alpha, and then it's very easy to just let one of them have you. You might say this is still effort and status competition which… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 09/02/26 01:45 PM |
| 0 | You're single until you're married.I think women that are particularly focused on marriage should also go to mass on the regular. After all, it's unfair for the church having to perform "churchly dutys" for someone who otherwise never bother to show up. That aside, Most normal people don't use marriage like a honey trap. And marriage is no guarantee against breakups. There's also unmarried couples who remain together. People marrying almost like an afterthought, 12 years later is super common. Personally, I only see marriage make… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 09/02/26 12:32 PM |
| 1 | Why do men feel so negatively towards OnlyFans creators?It's a phobia. My first comment explains where it comes from, but those things aren't entirely rational. No point in addressing it though. There's nothing to gain from it. The male gaze is stone dead from my end. Wasn't that the goal? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 09/02/26 12:07 AM |
| 1 | Why do men feel so negatively towards OnlyFans creators?Drawn, animated or written isn't immoral at all, unless it depicts downright criminal things ofc. Those are perfectly fine, and the artists creating it, I respect. Video or photo, as in people broadcasting real sex? I stay the hell away. I don't think it's immoral. I just don't want to engage with it. I feel like it casts me as a loser. And OF seems even worse, because guys are being coaxed by interaction, getting squeezed even more. Others can do that. That's up to them. But I'm not going to pa… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 08/02/26 11:38 PM |
| 3 | Why do men feel so negatively towards OnlyFans creators?I'm trying not to feel negatively about them, but it's hard. I grew up in a time and place surrounded by leftist and feminist people who were very clear about porn being wrong. Using it made you filthy. You were perfectly proving their point that your urges were sick, if you did. And nowadays, complete flip-flop. Being a pornographer on OF is this liberating choice somehow. And the male audience is cast as... well no longer evil pseudo-rapists, but still pathetic Johns, who by all means, should … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 08/02/26 09:45 PM |
| 2 | All the toxic women, Women Say Don’t Exist Are Absolutely FlourishingI disagree with the entire concept "toxic masculinity" and therefore toxic femininity too. Rather, certain ugly behaviors and modes of thinking on the male side are related to too much competitive and hierarchical thinking. But pronounced negative behaviors on the women's side are more often the dark side of collectivism/concensus culture. The two things aren't exactly gendered, but they roughly divide in a gendered way. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 08/02/26 07:53 PM |
| 1 | Any leftist should agree Child Support should be paid for by the government.Hopefully, but it's mathehatically tricky to base it on need. Someone may be low income, and so they get the support. It may be more advantageous for them then not to secure a somewhat higher position, or increase their hours, unless there's a significant raise. If they get a small raise and it offsets the support, they can end up with less, and thus they won't do it. What can be done is to automatically give the support to everyone up to a higher level, where those at the higher earning end of … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 08/02/26 05:53 PM |
| 2 | Any leftist should agree Child Support should be paid for by the government.That is very true. We should never underestimate the benefits of eliminating things which requires lots of case handling and active beaureucracy. Making reforms where you can essentially let go or reposition a large group of state employees that are no longer needed, it often leads to cutting costs overall. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 08/02/26 05:39 PM |
| 1 | The constant characterization of male sexuality as something 'dirty' needs to stop.Yes, it's a rough pattern, but I think it's real. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 08/02/26 03:53 PM |
| 1 | Reaching 18 doesn’t make you a man, having sex does. Yes or no?Agree with all of this, and I think I can bridge it. Since we can probably agree on that participating things larger than yourself, plus taking on costs that benefit others more than you, they are markers of adulthood. But when you're in a situation where your adulthood isn't naturally owed, and there's no other evidence (vocation, responsibility-assuming) etc. we can go by, then the question of your adulthood is academic. But we might as well assume in the positive. Furthermore, you're correct … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 08/02/26 03:51 PM |
| 1 | I think left-wingers sometimes "grift" on dating difficulties too.There's a place for "griftiness". It's excellent for tapping into men's engagement and provide a boost of pride. The disgusting thing with left liberal/progressivist discourse is that it isn't satisfied with people mechanically doing the right things, or at least not doing wrong. People have to "think" and "feel" correct too, always, speak and believe exactly as them or they're never forgiven. Could a progressive say this? "Sorry to hear you can't hack dating atm my dude. I can't conjure up a wi… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 08/02/26 02:13 PM |
| 1 | Reaching 18 doesn’t make you a man, having sex does. Yes or no?I think you have a couple of interesting ideas here that I think leads towards a working definition but I have questions. On 2. , would you say that it's absolute or that there's a balance? Because if absolute, then people who embrace hyperindividualist agency like "never need or ask someone else's help" or "don't ever be in debt to someone", they'd be achieving something like "super adulthood". The other thing I wonder about regards shirking sexuality, and by consequence, relationships. Now, pe… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 08/02/26 12:47 PM |
| 1 | The constant characterization of male sexuality as something 'dirty' needs to stop.I don't really know what to do with your examples here but I recognize broader themes, also things that have nothing to do with sexuality but just clocks in on "<thing> a number of men do/started doing, that isn't widely understood yet." It all seems to follow the same pattern to me. For there to be something like understanding and acceptance, some man need to sit in the tv sofas and explain. While he does, he'll be bombarded with questions designed to ensure he co-sign on all progressive-labele… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 08/02/26 12:16 PM |
| 1 | The constant characterization of male sexuality as something 'dirty' needs to stop.Men don't gather together in order to protest or pro-socially reform the mainstream. What men do instead is to quit and boycott it. PS. What I mean by mainstream is legacy media, old political parties, academia, and all old institutions of prestige. These are by and large women's domains nowadays. The men have left, aren't tuned in, and don't participate in "The Conversation". And men now are causing the old structures lots of damage. You see old publishing and broadcasting houses go belly-up. A… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 08/02/26 11:59 AM |
| 1 | Sex isn't as big a deal as most people make it out to be.You'd be surprised how many men reason the same way, well almost. I think fewer men take it all the way to the same extreme. They'd have a harder to accept 100% celibacy as absolute destiny but.. many assess now that doing the thing it takes to have broad appeal, the masculinity performance, isn't worth it. Or that the people who want it from us are all unworthy. Society sure as fuck isn't worth the masculine performance from men. That's for sure. At the very least, more men are ready to burn a … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 06/02/26 08:11 PM |
| 1 | Sex isn't as big a deal as most people make it out to be.It depends on how long you remain that way. You can't keep having a connective sexuality(involving other people) that remains unfulfilled for too many years. Eventually, you have to either make it or cool off. The latter IS an option but not an entirely healthy one. Your sexuality wants to go somewhere, and if it's denied for that long, it'll carve a new path. Then you get men who can only get aroused by hentai or whatever else imaginary. And then they couldn't have it even if a willing person j… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 06/02/26 05:21 PM |
| 1 | Why do women hate being mommy, to men?Nah, women get disgusted with men that show weakness, even if it's momentary, and even if there's lots of understandable cause. Yes, even if it isn't any recurrent thing, trauma dumping, or any kind of worrying signal that he's come undone and given up. Because in that passing moment, she IS cast in a mothering role of her partner, if only temporary. That's often enough to seriously damage the relationship. Meanwhile women can, and know that they can, allow themselves to momentarily revert into … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 06/02/26 05:01 PM |
| 5 | If it was about women being consistent with their sexual behavior, then it would make more sense for men to pursue women who makes everyone wait for sex.Haha, yes. That happens way too often. And it's a shame. Some men thus miss out on some delightful little slow-burns. Even those, where someone gets second thoughts, and it ultimately fizzle out before anything really happens, it can still be memorable. I'm just stumped on why Lilith is stumped at what I mean here. If you're at the third date, meet-up or whatever and it's still about comparing your respective Excel-arcs regarding life goals, morality, favorite movies etc. hoping the macros won't… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 06/02/26 04:29 PM |
| 1 | Why do women hate being mommy, to men?Haha! What's being said here is completely alien to me. I come home and a previously cluttered room is now clean and uncluttered. I say "darling, the room looks amazing." and I'm extra affectionate for a while. Same goes for me when I've put in the equivalent effort. That's a Normal people-thing. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 06/02/26 02:31 PM |
| 1 | If it was about women being consistent with their sexual behavior, then it would make more sense for men to pursue women who makes everyone wait for sex.I don't think kissing straight away is necessary. You're getting too specific. Just in some way convey you're physically into someone. It shouldn't be too hard. You can perhaps stomach a first date which is mainly about comparing bios in a reserved manner, but fairly soon they have to give some sort of assurance that you have an effect on them. Some light touch is an easy low-stakes way to convey that. Another is a reciprocal flirting connection, and make no mistake, flirting IS a low-level sexu… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 06/02/26 01:36 PM |
| 1 | If it was about women being consistent with their sexual behavior, then it would make more sense for men to pursue women who makes everyone wait for sex.I think this argument makes sense as a rebuttal to how many of this sub argue for instant sexual desire, but is inaccurate on the whole. Though understandably so. There's also a matter of men, despite how they argue, don't actually know themselves well enough to point out where the real anxiety lies. A lot of men still operate on the assumption that her having slept with him already is the only unquestionable proof that she's undeniably into him. Thus it must happen fast, or something's up. But … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 06/02/26 10:24 AM |
| – | Why do women always claim the men their friends date are ugly and unattractive?That can of course happen too. But I wonder, other boyfriends/taken men you've come across, how engaging were they with you? Did any of them really make you feel seen? Great vibe, connection and all that? My bet is, not many. I believe you that you've met a charming boyfriend you still ruled out on physicality alone. That can always happen But attraction is so often looks + personality (connection), and a lot of partnered men just tone down that social conectiveness big time with other women. It… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 06/02/26 08:20 AM |
| – | Why do women always claim the men their friends date are ugly and unattractive?A lot of women's attraction is reactive, context bound and self-centered. Not judging that at all btw. I function the exact same way as a man. Women would have to really engage and show genuine interest in me first before I can even begin consider any of them as attractive. So what happens here is generally that these already partnered dudes extend minimal social effort. They won't get super invested in conversation with her female friends, attentative, and visibly curious about them. He plays s… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 06/02/26 07:55 AM |
| – | Why do women always claim the men their friends date are ugly and unattractive?I think this is the real answer, but that there's more. Another thing that I believe plays into it is that these men tend to treat her friends in a very neutral manner. Polite but not particularly engaging. He never gives any of them his full undivided attention. He doesn't make that extra effort to be personable with them, anticipate and accommodate feelings and reactions in the way that single men do when they want to strike a good impression. Maybe he doesn't bother much with eye contact eith… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 06/02/26 07:19 AM |
| 1 | From a woman’s POV the disparity isn’t that “more men get murdered than women,” it’s that more men kill women than women kill men.Well, the violent male behavior comes much in handy from orderly men who channel the instinct appropriately. They do it through institutional violence, which is to dish out draconic punishment for murders and other such scum. Or at least vote in the politicians who will. Yet women tend to vote against their own safety, which is odd. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 05/02/26 11:47 PM |
| 1 | Average men should get a free pass to cheatI wouldn't take it. As a married man I believe my objective worth to civilization, longevity of culture etc. is way higher than cheaters or people who fuck about in various loose constellations. If I fulfil my role, I'm objectively worth more. Łoyalty, matrimony and family. We need to get downright chauvinistic about those things again and voila! Men are suddenly much less obsessed with sexual novelty. But that we need to spit in the face of progressive relativism is a discussion most people don… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 05/02/26 05:29 PM |
| 2 | Paying for it is so much better than casual sex.It's not something you can argue for men to adopt, as a lot of the comments here illustrate. I say it takes a very special mindset for someone to rationally agree with what you propose here. I read a testimonial somewhere from a prostitute who described the ideal client. It's a man who is incredibly simple-minded, lack any kind of abstract thinking or deeper emotional registry. To him sex (mechanically) is peak, no other emotional needs to adress. He's incredibly easy to make happy and he return… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 05/02/26 12:53 PM |
| – | If expectations regarding your gender make you uncomfortable, it probably wasn't made for youYes, I was generous in my interpretation of the post but I don't agree with him. What you're saying is very true. The result of diverging more drastically is that your dating pool gets very small. You may have to accept and bridge a lot more incompatibilities in an eventual relationship probably. Just because relationship potential is an extreme scarcity in the first place. But some reason that it's worth it. And no matter the result, if you DO take that route, you absolutely get to piss on hege… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 05/02/26 11:44 AM |
| 5 | Women tend to be more selective in partner choice than men — and it’s not a moral failingOh sure, men are twisting things. Don't you consider that misandric mainstream media may be muddling this topic on purpose? https://www.huffpost.com/entry/do-we-still-need-men_b_7129322 And tons of other examples I can dig up. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 01/02/26 09:40 PM |
| 6 | Women tend to be more selective in partner choice than men — and it’s not a moral failingIt's extremely seldom I hear that distinction,and it's very true. Funny enough, there's sometimes completely unhinged takes that say "Men contribute nothing to society". | /r/PurplePillDebate | 01/02/26 08:30 PM |
| 2 | Women's preferences in men seem to be eerily shaped by "late stage capitalism"The situation in Nordic countries is that the benefits of well-funded childcare systems are offset by the housing crisis. Too many bullshit regulations for building new Infrastructure, which exists to keep beaureucrats occupied. If it would be as little fuss about building as it was in the 50's, we wouldn't be in this mess. That, and we kind of gave away all existing affordable housing to asylum fraud migrants. So, deport them, deregulate, and nativity should be able to go up. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 30/01/26 03:47 PM |
| 2 | If expectations regarding your gender make you uncomfortable, it probably wasn't made for youI think people get tripped up about your last paragraph because you wrote like "don't need to keep subscribing to a gender". If you had written "gender role" instead, I think that changes matters considerably. Because that's what we're talking about, yes? Agreed, you can shirk gender roles but that carries the cost of having to replace friend circles, and sometimes distancing/estranging family members. I guess it depends on how far you go? Feminists want men to ambassador these changes in existi… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 28/01/26 10:09 AM |
| – | One of the most powerful mindsets a man can adopt when approaching a woman is: “Your beauty has no effect on me.”The risk with this strategy is that you can accidentally talk yourself out of attraction. Pre-empting your emotional reactions too much, and over-intellectualising, can actually stunt you. It happens. What if she warms up to you and in order to play into that, you must now perform an act of being attracted instead of, you know, just feeling it for real? It might not be so easy to simply "switch on" again. Hell, you might even go into a relationship where you'll have to half-way feign, but mostly… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 28/01/26 09:46 AM |
| 2 | Rejected men and loss of masculinity. How ate they suppose to deal with it.Might not have to. Some hopeful signs in Gen Z where both young men and women proclaim they can't be bothered to engage with dating. Singlehood is getting more normalized, and with that sexlessness. It would take the edge off. It would help if mainstream media would stop with it's narrative "self-fulfilled single women"/"desperate single men" and highlight som contented single men. But we know that's not going to happen. The MSM caters and placates to women because those are the remaining paying… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 22/01/26 04:17 PM |
| 5 | Guys will claim "Society generally treat women better than man" and yet never look at other generalizations that could contribute to that.We might have to break "Society" up in parts. One is about general interactions and moving through public places. Well, "Stranger Danger" is a thing for obvious reasons, and it's amped up against men. There's nothing at all which can be done about that. A man can either adapt with utmost delicacy, use every signal and micro-expression there is to telegraph "I understand you're concerned but I'm not dangerous, see?". Or emotionally check out and not bother to extend the effort. It's a free choice… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 22/01/26 03:49 PM |
| 2 | Autistic males are treated worse than autistic females because alot of autistic males dont know how to behave and lack empathy.Small correction. I first wrote yaoi, but it should've been shota(?). I went back and edited it but you probably had responded by then. I don't know those categories very well. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 22/01/26 12:57 PM |
| – | Chasing women is actually a waste of time.No, chasing is required. Mutually taking small initiatives is what's needed. You can mingle with people without them reading it as an approach. If someone holds you in conversation, they too have made an initiative. If it feels like a connection happening now, you slip a deft little flirt in, see if it affects her. Then you wait. She might take initiative again with giving you a warm compliment. So ping pong initiatives back and forth, escalating at each turn. This is the way socially attuned pe… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 22/01/26 12:11 PM |
| 2 | Autistic males are treated worse than autistic females because alot of autistic males dont know how to behave and lack empathy.That's also fair. More people have seen violent outbursts from unstable men. There's also the matter of physicality. An aggressive and unhinged woman might not illicit the same degree of threat (even though sometimes, that kind of bias can cost someone dearly). I've heard you mention the comic book pedo before. Sometime I'd like to hear the story. Perhaps you already typed it out in a past thread somewhere? I'd like to give you another one of those though. I had a tenant, he was this childhood l… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 22/01/26 12:00 PM |
| 6 | Autistic males are treated worse than autistic females because alot of autistic males dont know how to behave and lack empathy.I seriously doubt these conclusions. When it comes to finding partners, we already know that women arein the position to be selective. I've met a few autistic women and can say that their social behavior was very off-putting. I wouldn't consider dating them, but I have no doubt we could find a couple of lonely men who would choose to overlook those problems. Another factor is the general hare-brain effect which happens when a man, any man, fucks up socially. There's always an abundance of people… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 22/01/26 11:00 AM |
| 1 | Why should women want relationships with men who don't pull their weight?You're correct in the sense that gender role division of tasks and responsibilities is old hat and doesn't align with the flexibility that relationships today require. A man who cannot adapt to that is unsuitable. But I want to highlight something else. A lot of men marry someone who turns out to be needy and less capable too. In these constellations, the men tend to go into the provider role 100%, and also chores, cooking and whatever else you can think of. He'll be covering 80% of everything. … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 22/01/26 09:07 AM |
| – | For “Men can want sex AND relationships” to be believed, they can’t despise non-sexual relationship activities and the vetting process.I think you completely glossed over my last paragraph tbh. But yeah, I wouldn't want a friendship based primarily on "because you don't seem to possess the same crap that the assholes I used to hang out with did... for now at least". I've had something equivalent to this. It was actually a tenant of a room I let out, but I don't care to go into the full anecdote. Let's just say, I had to do an unreasonable amount of emotional management that this sort of arrangement shouldn't even require. Lol, … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 21/01/26 12:34 PM |
| – | For “Men can want sex AND relationships” to be believed, they can’t despise non-sexual relationship activities and the vetting process.This isn't what I describe. This is about lingering resentment which was left by someone else, and was never fully dealt with. It completely alters the vetting process from seeking compatibility, and to realize dreams, into something run with negative motivation. And men aren't blind to this. It becomes obvious when you get criticism or cagey reactions that aren't much based on something you did or said, but there's this extrapolation and far-reaching assumptions about what you're potentially hi… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 21/01/26 11:41 AM |
| – | For “Men can want sex AND relationships” to be believed, they can’t despise non-sexual relationship activities and the vetting process.There's risks for men too. Some are just way too oblivious to assess them correctly, until it's too late. For instance, I just turned forty, but if I turned single, there's not a snowball's chance in hell I'd accept any advance from someone younger than 25. She should preferably be at least 30. It wouldn't matter how genuine and easy the connection seemed to be because, she can't be trusted. Emotionally, she could be a big child, and it's rational to generalize all young adult women like that fo… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 21/01/26 10:03 AM |
| – | For “Men can want sex AND relationships” to be believed, they can’t despise non-sexual relationship activities and the vetting process.Vetting is largely dependent on the how and why. Is a woman looking for a financially stable man because she wants a house and a family? Makes perfect sense. Note how this is about dreams and plans(good), because now we come to bad vetting: When the vetting is more motivated around avoiding something an ex was or did, it comes packed with hyperviligance and suspicion. That absolutely sucks, even if you manage to pass those tests. She'll never stop looking for tells and evidence that maybe you ac… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 21/01/26 09:35 AM |
| 1 | Rejected men and loss of masculinity. How ate they suppose to deal with it.Agree, but this feels more like wishful thinking than many people's actual reality. The problem now is that "unhappily dateless" now translates to "incel", and that's since that whole debate was popularized. Us internet nerds can differentiate ideologially weaponized seclusion with normal unfulfillment maybe. But the average Joe or Jane don't do discernement. It wouldn't be smart for most young men to test their friendships by expressing their virgin anxiety or such. Or maybe they should, but on… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 20/01/26 06:43 PM |
| 4 | How can dating work efficiently in a world without gender norms?Not easy to spot if you're a woman maybe, because feminism had a completely different tone debating women's roles. All male archetypes however have been reviled and ridiculed into oblivion. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 20/01/26 06:25 PM |
| 0 | How can dating work efficiently in a world without gender norms?The feminist conversations about opening up the gender costume for plurality, that only applied to women. Not men. The recipe for men is to find reason to pathologize well, anything men tend to do in group. Throngs of young men thus got convinced that masculinity, in any of it's many variations, is at best "Sure, whatever. It doesn't make you special/ nobody cares" and at worst monsterous. So for many, that sucked the joy out of fulfilling any of those roles, so they stopped cultivating it, and … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 20/01/26 06:04 PM |
| 1 | Alot of women gaslight men forreasons they don't make the first move.It's a fake debate more or less. A chunk of those are just rage-baiters. Some of them are attention grifters. They just want the validation and free drinks and have no intention of going home with anyone. And some of them are only addressing Chad who's learned that more often than not, women come to him. So why should he approach anyone? Perhaps a few of them are genuinely bewildered traditionalists who've been living in a hole somewhere, but those sound more openly inquisitive rather than accus… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 20/01/26 11:39 AM |
| 6 | Rejected men and loss of masculinity. How ate they suppose to deal with it.Avoidant behaviors / "Not talking about things". When it comes to the subject of feeling bad about being dateless, or that you never dated, it's wise for a man to shut up, before he's branded an incel per default. No matter how carefully he opens the lid on that subject, everyone reacts with instant disgust, start condescending, and in general will never look at him the same way again. That's the vulnerability nobody wants to deal with in person, and thus can't be entrusted with. Extreme taboo s… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 20/01/26 10:56 AM |
| 0 | Rejected men and loss of masculinity. How ate they suppose to deal with it.They should learn to not give a shit about fulfilling masculinity then, actually fail it on purpose sometimes and learn to enjoy not fitting the mold anymore. Fulfilling gender roles or "life milestones" are now optional, relative, and stripped from meaning and intrinsic value. Building a family is just one lifestyle of many, for example. Embracing all that and you'll never care again about "feeling emasculated", but it invites another problem. When nothing means anything, there'll be a f-ton of… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 20/01/26 10:40 AM |
| 1 | Rejected men and loss of masculinity. How ate they suppose to deal with it.What they can do is to start practicing antimasculinity on purpose, I suppose, and refuse to play along. That is, take delight in how they don't fulfil masculine expectations. Pissing Scott Galloway off in the process is of course pure bonus. Note, being antimasculine is not the same as being feminine. It just means the absence of masculinity. Since a lot of what makes masculinity is actually adulting traits, you shouldn't give up on those. Then you'd be a manchild, but what you can do is to ado… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 20/01/26 09:49 AM |
| 8 | CMV: there's a greater chance of you getting with a woman if you are ok getting rejected by herWomen who want to reject and then be pursued even more by the same guy, are mentally disturbed. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 18/01/26 04:18 PM |
| – | Y'all need to talk to a woman who is not single by choice to understand where men are coming fromIt's not truly on any groups' side I wager, except it's own probably. But nobody here benefits from this, and similar discussions being politicized. The incels/blackpills are one thing. They depend on a belief that women can always choose, or the ideas they rely on turn relative. "You can just mail order a man on a dating app. Don't be picky. It's your standards that are insane" But the media rely on the same argument because it's flattering for women. "Oh any woman can get into a relationship t… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 17/01/26 12:33 AM |
| 2 | This man should not be shamed for running away while while girlfriend gets attacked by muggersThat I respect. But I don't respect others, who've had the opposite reaction, made a deal out of it, or even left him then. "Boo hoo, he was too violent and too unhinged when he rescued me. It was scary." That I wouldn't respect. Not a valid reason to experience an "ick" that. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 16/01/26 11:46 PM |
| 3 | Women shouldn't in most cases be allowed to accuse men of being lazy in the dating climate.Level up in life is the ticket if you want to get somewhere but getting accepted before that (by accident probably) then attempting to play catch-up can't be the right order of things. In both of these scenarios. That's what's called "failing upwards". | /r/PurplePillDebate | 16/01/26 11:34 PM |
| – | Y'all need to talk to a woman who is not single by choice to understand where men are coming fromI'd say you're removed from the conversation for a different reason. It disturbs their eternal beloved narrative of Impressive Women/Pathetic Men. Another group who disturbs it are contented men who've chosen single life and are on the same level as the happily single women. Must not mention those men in those articles. Would be harder to bully men if we allowed for that little nuance. Your point 2. is honestly sad to me. Do you believe the MSM conversation is on your side? That the reason they … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 16/01/26 10:47 PM |
| – | Y'all need to talk to a woman who is not single by choice to understand where men are coming fromNice try, but you can't compare gatherings of anonymous male voices to the mainstream media outlets, nor hold these two entities to the same scrutiny The latter involve people who actually get paid to wilfully misread studies and lie. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 16/01/26 10:32 PM |
| – | Y'all need to talk to a woman who is not single by choice to understand where men are coming fromIt isn't just those. Legacy media happily regurgitates the same story because it so well fits with their eternal narrative of Impressive Women/Pathetic Men. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 16/01/26 10:05 PM |
| 3 | Women shouldn't in most cases be allowed to accuse men of being lazy in the dating climate.You compared women's situation in dating with companies getting tons of unqualified applicants. And if that's comparable to women getting the attention of too many low-quality dating prospects, the ones who realize they are incredibly likely to be deemed as low quality, he'd be wise not sending his application (show interest), so to speak. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 16/01/26 06:34 PM |
| 2 | This man should not be shamed for running away while while girlfriend gets attacked by muggersNo such luck. I'm European. I am however voting on a fringe party who, among other things are for both Three strike rule and Stand your ground laws. Not holding my breath. Anyway, my point is that the protector role, with few exceptions, is mostly outlawed, since you can go to jail for effectively protecting someone. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 16/01/26 05:38 PM |
| 2 | Women shouldn't in most cases be allowed to accuse men of being lazy in the dating climate.That's exactly it. They would most certainly not be heartbroken. The majority of them definitely want you to go, and when you by default take their lack of engagement as a soft no, respectfully disengage, you're going to do right nearly always. The only exception being shy women, but shy women, just like shy men, should all be dateless until they stop being a shy person altogether. Never linger around anyone who doesn't hold you in conversation. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 16/01/26 05:02 PM |
| 1 | This man should not be shamed for running away while while girlfriend gets attacked by muggersYou don't go to jail for carrying a baby to term, but you DO go to jail for shooting a burglar or beating up a robber until it stops moving. In far too many countries and corrupt "justice" systems. This means the protector role is basically illegal. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 16/01/26 04:50 PM |
| 3 | This man should not be shamed for running away while while girlfriend gets attacked by muggersWhat would you do if he did the opposite extreme? That's to say, overpower the robber and beat him into a bloody unconscious mess? I'm hoping you'll say you would loyally stick by his side then. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 16/01/26 04:31 PM |
| 2 | This man should not be shamed for running away while while girlfriend gets attacked by muggersAnd no legal sanctions against this man should even exist. If he so turns the attacker into an invalid, all courts should auto-dismiss the case, as no street thugs should even have human rights the times they attempt robberies. Then it's fair. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 16/01/26 04:06 PM |
| 1 | "Really good people don't demand a reward!" is bullshit logic.Both the nice guy-mentality and "Truly good people should not expect a reward" are wrong. Goodness SHOULD be rewarded. If you accept goodness but don't pay back, you're in the wrong. It's just that love isn't a bargaining chip. Example: If a guy experiences that the girl he's vaguely interested in tries to recruit him, to help her move on his one free day in the week, then he should say: "Ok, sure, but then I expect you'll invite me to dinner sometime soon. Home cooked, no order-in pizza." That'… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 16/01/26 02:51 PM |
| 2 | Women shouldn't in most cases be allowed to accuse men of being lazy in the dating climate.And yet people get pissy when someone rationally says that they ignore people out of their league. Be it looks, status, social or economic level. Then we soon fall back into "How dare you assume what women want?!! We're not a monolith you sexist." | /r/PurplePillDebate | 16/01/26 02:16 PM |
| -2 | Women shouldn't in most cases be allowed to accuse men of being lazy in the dating climate.Until patience ends, that is. If the one approaching soon concludes that this person seems painfully boring, they have no obligation to stick around, pe patient, coax and cushion until the other person might come out of their shell, maybe. This is relevant because I've seen the complaint from people saying they do get approached but get miffed about guys losing interest or "giving up too fast". That's all on them. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 16/01/26 02:13 PM |
| 7 | Men you’re not mad at women, you’re just scared of rejectionThat argument isn't wrong, it's incomplete. It needs subtexts like "and because of that you need to be your own most loyal ally, and your own best friend." The argument is then political. Society only regards you as a tool or a problem, and that's just the way it is. Awareness of this means you participate in society for your own gain, but you should put no trust or loyalty in the social, legal or cultural contracts. And for God's sake, boycott military service if you can. Men as a class don't g… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 16/01/26 01:58 PM |
| 1 | Women’s concern for men, or passive fear of men is valid.By the same token people's fears are valid when, like in many places of Europe, you always give groups of MENA & NA migrant men a wide berth when you're out and about. Or maybe you never move through public spaces alone past 21:00 in the evening at all anymore. Some of the middle aged men who stubnornly refuse public traffic, and will always contribute to traffic jams by taking the car, they do it for this reason. But regardless which group fears what other, fear will always transform to hate. W… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 16/01/26 01:26 PM |
| 1 | Nobody cares about men’s problems.They can start working on unearthing their entire need for sympathy and learn to become completely self-sufficient when it comes to that. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 15/01/26 10:01 PM |
| 3 | Nobody cares about men’s problems.And how much we aren't crying over the demise of legacy media. Lol, the boomers and GenX'ers seem to think that the MSM is all that holds society and democracy together. I'd feel triumphant over this outcome after decades of medial misandry, but now I just think it's sad and embarassing. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 15/01/26 09:58 PM |
| 1 | Why do so many men complain about being lonely yet refuse to approach women?I didn't say the strategy worked as such. I meant that people had a lower threshold to start chattering with each other anyway. And that chattering would sometimes lead to people exchanging phone numbers. Even happened to me once, on a bus ride and I wasn't even trying for it to happen. But yeah, that was in the early 2000's. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 12/01/26 03:11 PM |
| -1 | Why do so many men complain about being lonely yet refuse to approach women?Do feminists say men must keep their traditional gender roles? I think they don't. They don't however hold any women accountable for holding men to traditional gender roles. So there's definitely something like a silent permission from them. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 10/01/26 08:59 PM |
| 1 | The redpill thinks society hates men is because they're projecting their problems onto all men.Is "all women hate men" really RP? It sounds more like a blackpill screed to me. Isn't the rp view more that you are inert/invisible/nobody until you distinguish yourself? I think there needs to be a separation. On the one hand, there's the core part about what it takes to attract others, but on the other hand, there's all these political/societal discussions. For the latter, I think redpill and blackpill are fairly often aligned. They agree that society, as in mainline politics, mainstream medi… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 10/01/26 08:41 PM |
| 0 | Why is virgin used as an insult if sex and relationships are supposedly not important?I believe it's said mainly by women who feel put upon by men, and it's this childish way of, for a limited time, feel like they regain power, like they've reversed some imaginary tables. And when you see it, it really doesn't phase you, even if you are the virgin. Anecdote time. When I broke into dating, very late, I was overt about "no past relationships" right off the bat. I didn't say "virgin" because that's a sexual detail and throwing it around shows lack of social skill. Important, they'd … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 10/01/26 07:39 PM |
| -1 | Why is virgin used as an insult if sex and relationships are supposedly not important?But companionship might almost. I lived together with a friend for 6 years or so. No sex for either of us. Making dinners together, joking around, playing WoW etc. Then you end up forgetting about it almost. It's just those very occasional intrusive thoughts then, they pass, and you forget about it again. But I digress, because doing this cements the situation. It'll be way harder to break out of celibacy later, if you have second thoughts. You'll be severely misaligned with the general life tra… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 10/01/26 06:50 PM |
| 4 | Why do so many men complain about being lonely yet refuse to approach women?No this doesn't work, and I'll give my thoughts as to why. In the past, people occasionally ended up together like this but nobody relied on it as a strategy. Small talk with random people was more prevalent, and we did it in part to stave off boredom and because it was a normal part of culture. You sometimes ended up shooting the shit with whoever sat next to you on the bus, to make time pass faster. Now, a person who's going to fight their lonliness by striking up conversations with random peo… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 10/01/26 06:26 PM |
| 9 | Why do so many men complain about being lonely yet refuse to approach women?Nailed it. There's been a slew of "Why don't men step up to us?" messaging in some online spaces. Used to be a very outlier opinion but now there's been a little more of that. The read I get of women in those videos is yes, obvious entitlement. Very much "The men shall amuse me", and I don't consider at all that they'd actually would go on a date with any man like that. I suspect they just want the immediate validation of such things. Kinda immature. Occasionally you see one or two who are just … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 10/01/26 05:58 PM |
| 1 | Men, stop expecting praise/rewards for not committing crimes nor cheating.I'm trying to make you see that those disgusting men are not statistically common. And I furthermore attempt to show you that these men are NOT tolerated by other men. When you project "trying so hard to downplay" on the things I'm saying, you sound paranoid. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 10/01/26 02:13 PM |
| 1 | Men, stop expecting praise/rewards for not committing crimes nor cheating.Extremely common? What's your source? There's methodological problems obviously but a rough estimate is 3.3% talking about ages 12-15 and below 12, around 0.2%. Now, that's of course alarmingly high regardlessly but "extremely common"?? https://www.researchgate.net/publication/273145922_Men%27s_Sexual_Interest_in_Children_One-Year_Incidence_and_Correlates_in_a_Population-Based_Sample_of_Finnish_Male_Twins But while we're on the subject, most of the vocational catfishing groups attempting to expo… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 09/01/26 03:13 PM |
| 4 | The tenets of masculinity™️ overlap with conservatism which is why the ideology appeals to more males than femalesCrucial mistake here It's the exact opposite from a pull-factor to the right. It isn't how conservatism appeals to men, it's about how much modern leftism repels men. The modern left has nothing to offer men except reprimands. Pay up, get in line, think of the oppressed (not you) and live in indentured servitude to others for the historical wrongs your gender has committed. Left can win men however. Just sacrifice all the gender ideologues and replace the current guard with classic left-wingers … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 08/01/26 08:51 PM |
| 4 | Courting's not a scam, its an effective strategyIt still needs to be a fair exchange. The thing is yes, there are women you arguably should treat to a restaurant, even if there's no certain outcomes. That is a woman who's a fucking excellent conversationalist, who can elevate every talk with charm, style and intelligence. She may not go home with you, but she'll transform the dinner to a high class experience. Then it's an even trade to mutual enjoyment. If she's your courtisan during this time only. Of course, he must contribute like that to… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 08/01/26 05:48 PM |
| 4 | Im not an MRA but not sure where else to post: Men are so alone my good-looking friend had sex with a man just to feel wanted... and no, hes not gay.First of all, your friend isn't straight. Bi most likely, but I hope he took time to ease into it. Rushing towards it in desperation can back fire and cause mental problems. But he's your friend. Look after this guy as a brother okay. Hold his pain. Be his support The solution for you is actually for you and him to look after each other, seeing how you're both hurting. There's no support groups for you. No community. Hell there's not even an impotent media message saying "Hey we see your real wo… | /r/MensRights | 08/01/26 04:36 PM |
| 34 | Seeing male rape mocked has left me very, very angry.That type of reaction is sickening. If you want to do a good thing, you always get yourself into the fray and rain on their parade. I understand that in this film, the rapist ends up with a certain death threat? Then you stress the point how rapists need to be extrajudicially killed. You post a comment like "It's a good movie. The rapist will get murdered in the end and that's a message I can get behind". That takes their fun away. Play tone deaf, attack from another angle, don't write anything … | /r/MensRights | 08/01/26 04:04 PM |
| 3 | When It Comes to Men, the Left Can't Fucking LearnWhat a fucking joke that guy is. Look, I have no love for the modern left but I could easily out-left him. Just as a thought experiment. If women are out-earning men, some men should arguably switch roles. In that case, he should actually work and strive less.Instead he should focus on becoming more handsome, a better conversationalist, a great homemaker etc. And when the higher earning woman takes out his part-time working ass for dinner, she pays, and he is her courtisan. This is bogus of cour… | /r/MensRights | 08/01/26 03:51 PM |
| 1 | How come men are so comfortable in their own skin ?Seems about right. It's rare. The only anorexic men I ever met were competing in horse races. Funny side-note on that. Riding girls love those men, who are also much shorter than average. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 08/01/26 12:17 PM |
| 1 | Men shouldn't take dating advice from women (on the internet)If you ask clueless or too general questions, that tends to happen. Men's advice is more scattershot. Yes he has the advantage of being in similar shoes. And also has the arrogance to dig into the details, casually assuming that your situation is almost exactly like his. When those things happen to line up, you might get a gem, but that's more down to chance. You may have more luck asking women for very specific advice though. Like "How can I be a social success in <very particular setting>". | /r/PurplePillDebate | 08/01/26 11:46 AM |
| 9 | How come men are so comfortable in their own skin ?That's what it may seem like from the outside but you don't actually know if a man has or hasn't any dysmorphic body issues. There's a tendency to compensate such things with attitude and achievements. Then there's also a thing that many men have that is a very neutral outlook. The body is just a fact of life. It is what it is and disconnected from self-esteem. His identity relies on other things. But that goes both ways. A tell in that case is that he gets stumped if you tell him he looks hands… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 08/01/26 11:36 AM |
| 3 | No way most men are friends with a rapistThere is a difference, but I think you'd have to see it from the perspective of a socially self-aware man. Most men unwittingly falls into a certain mode when befriending a woman, welcoming a new female coworker aso. It's a string of micro behaviors where they instill space, safety, cushioning potential blows and so forth. It doesn't remove that knowledge in the back of her head, but it minimizes it somewhat, and eventually she opens up to these men a little more. That whole process is the "emot… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 08/01/26 10:16 AM |
| 3 | No way most men are friends with a rapistIt's not a push back on my part, or contradicting anything you said. This is really just a side-topic. I know what you're saying is true, but I don't see what you're saying in the last paragraph "Even if you had no female friends" as an argument against what I say either. Befriending a woman, most of the time, will mean emotionally nagivating that stickiness a lot more. Some can, some can't, and some just don't want to. As a man, you can otherwise minimize the factor in many ways. If you're out … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 08/01/26 09:50 AM |
| 0 | No way most men are friends with a rapistChrist, that riles me up. They SHOULD wear rapist etched on their forehead however. Once exposed. It's morally right to side-eye and castigate them forever. I live in a small community, and once someone has done that, they can no longer live there, let me tell you. The most infuriating thing about feminists is that they think men who've been close should enter some kind of custodian role, hold them accountable while babying them back to society for something that accounts for unforgivable mortal… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 08/01/26 09:34 AM |
| 3 | No way most men are friends with a rapistThis being the case, I have a question. Can you really fault a guy for not wanting to make female friends then? I ask because there's many "No female friends" = red flag, sexist etc. What if someone just doesn't want to live with that lingering caution and suspicion. I have no younger or same-age female friends. But I do have about 6 of them who are in their 60's. That's a bit by chance since I found them in a hobby/community group which is a tad old-timey, but the suspicion-level or secret crus… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 08/01/26 09:21 AM |
| 1 | What's so bad about being friends with women anyway?I don't have good experiences with that. When you remove those feelings and place her in the "will never date nor sleep with" category, your dynamic shifts. It becomes more sterilized, and you can take that, but she can't. She wants the old dynamic back where there's a slight electricity, and where she gets to validate her attractiveness by you. Then it ends with her getting drunk, suddenly kisses you, instantly takes it back. It's a real mess, and not really worth to navigate. It happened to me… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 08/01/26 08:29 AM |
| 1 | What's so bad about being friends with women anyway?It isn't bad. It's just that we like to have a clear drawn line sometimes. Female friends belong in the box of "Will never date nor sleep with". Some men have a problem making that separation from the get, but if they'd learn to, they wouldn't have a problem being friends with women. But sometimes, she'll start muddying the waters eventually on that point and then it gets bad. It may not even be that she actually wants to sleep with you, but she starts fishing for you to validate her attractiven… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 08/01/26 07:57 AM |
| 2 | Men, stop expecting praise/rewards for not committing crimes nor cheating.Now you're talking about the gravely dysfunctional ones. They are not very common, but yes, same logic applies. The difference there is that the times they get together, they both drag each other down, like two drug-addicts. Hard to moralize over that I suppose, though they will probably become the tax payer's problem one way or the other. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 08/01/26 07:30 AM |
| 2 | Men, stop expecting praise/rewards for not committing crimes nor cheating.Same. I am going to tell my son though to routinely disregard the 1-2 girls everyone considers hot. And also have some self assessment like, are you often a little on the sidelines? Then look for the girl who also is. It's the boys who did that who actually had relationships as teenagers, a fact that's often collectively ignored. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 08/01/26 07:25 AM |
| 3 | Men, stop expecting praise/rewards for not committing crimes nor cheating.Yup, exactly. It does demand practicing what you preach. But would he really be awful/creepy neckbeard by your definition if he didn't thirst for women out of his league, nor built resentment or entitlement over it either? Wouldn't that negate it, I mean? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 07/01/26 03:57 PM |
| -2 | To many women, male attention is low value.True, if we only consider Western current culture. But other than that, go all in (marriage) or go home is otherwise alive and well. You also hear younger people now sometimes who, often in a neo-conservative fashion, hold the same ideal: Get married soon and build families. Fairly fringe but I've been really surprised to hear a few young, and fairly attractive, men say it. What I heard, it seemed more like conviction and ideals rather than veiled sour-grape desperation. All in all, if we put al… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 07/01/26 03:33 PM |
| -3 | To many women, male attention is low value.I think you're the one imposing a strange standard when you claim it "incredibly abnormal and weird to marry the first person you ever date." This is a realistic option for many average men. Cash out quick and stay the hell away from the casino. Scarcity makes sense when your situation is objectively one of scarcity. Which is true for many men. Many nerd couples are exactly this btw, on both ends. Both really hated to put themselves out there, could barely stomach do it. Both eloped the scene wi… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 07/01/26 01:56 PM |
| 10 | Men, stop expecting praise/rewards for not committing crimes nor cheating.No no, "choose better" is actually good advice. You just have to draw it full circle, and include the men saying it into the same reasoning. Nerds and jocks/bullies is retrograde categories that's probably not all that relevant, but let's go with it all the same. Say a guy is nerdy. He shouldn't even waste time fancying women who're conventionally attractive and prone to date jocks and bullies. Wrong category. His actual match is a woman who's a total homebody, probably more plain looking, and w… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 07/01/26 01:01 PM |
| 0 | Preferences make sense when it’s about characteristics that aren’t immutable, otherwise it’s bigotry. Dating is also the most socially acceptable form of being a bigot, and nothing will really change that.This is a pretty good post, and I think it's close but I believe it's slightly different. The question when it turns to bigotry is how definitive the disqualifier is. This example isn't perfect since it's more about main orientation than anything but I think it applies. I used to consider myself 100% straight but then I became part of a big friend/hobby group where the majority was gay or bi. What happened is that it shifted for me a little. I now can consider men vaguely attractive and "hmm may… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 04/01/26 11:41 AM |
| 2 | Redpill works if you're patient and consistent enoughYeah. Like I said. I don't judge it. I have no opinions on what he should be doing. I did something similar, was a late-bloomer myself, and I don't owe anyone any excuses. I'm just saying, dropping down an age group, a social class, or go where things are valued different. It works, but it isn't an effort. RP is about cultivating image, assets, status and improving looks. So that's different. The funny thing though is that some of those who critique this for hamfisted moral reasons, what they're… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 29/12/25 03:43 PM |
| 2 | It's men's fault and responsibility for 'the loneliness epidemic'The male locker room talk is ironically way more insulting to women than they even believe, but for completely different reasons. I've been in a few. Don't know if my sampling is general but I think it is. It is a space where men wholesale pretend women don't exist, in any capacity. It's even like, if someone gets the idea to talk about relationships there, the others would stop, perplexed, wondering why this guy isn't talking about video games and motorcycles. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 29/12/25 03:32 PM |
| 2 | Redpill works if you're patient and consistent enoughThat's him not being able to hack it on his own age and level. I'm not judging it though. It just doesn't prove anything about him. To at least make this interesting yes, dating is economic, supply/demand etc. but there are actually many different markets and currencies. A mistake of this sub, on both the red and blue end, is the failure to acknowledge this. Nearly all assume there's just one dating market/climate. But the thing is, you can drastically improve your chances by "switching markets"… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 29/12/25 02:59 PM |
| – | Why do men think there are so many good menYes, we agree, I think. That's nice actually. I think your last paragraph needs some nuance. Roughly you can make up a metric of what makes an alive, passionate relationship, and consequently what a good partner for that is. It can be based on most people's more common expectations, and it'll hold true... mostly. But in this instance, ignoring the outliers is a problem. I've seen this sub ignore the existence of the type of women who have comfortable relationships that are low on this sort of pa… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 29/12/25 01:54 PM |
| 1 | Why do men think there are so many good menIt's not that. The terms of this debate has been decided by media, journos, their articles, panels of vapid assholes in a TV-sofa etc. They have wilfully muddled the waters between good="decent, lawful, moral" and good = "attractive dating candidate". And you can't even tell the difference anymore. You constantly conflate attraction with morality now. Most women when they tune in to these broadcasts swallow them uncritically. There's generally so much gynocentric ass-kissing that you can't even … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 29/12/25 10:17 AM |
| 0 | Why do men think there are so many good menCan you clarify as to why you think "sociable" and "fun to be with" are traits of surpreme moral goodness? Do you consider all low-key people of few words as lessers? Personally I think shy, anxious, introvert people etc. are a little maladapted maybe. They'll obviously face some difficulties, and they aren't everyone's cup of tea. But applying a moral judgement is wild to me. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 29/12/25 09:47 AM |
| 2 | The days of men cold approaching random women in streets, malls, and grocery stores left and right are long gone and will never come back.It's not a phenomenon that really matters in and off itself. It's however indicative of things that are much worse. Cold approaches is just one of thousands of facets of "social prescence" which is now deteriorating fast. Even in small places, outside the big cities where things always were a bit more grounded, we see more people who don't want to deal with people face to face in any capacity. They don't even have the social muscle to participate. That said, There seems to be a sort of MGTOW spo… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 29/12/25 08:14 AM |
| 2 | Women don’t give good advice on dating and it’s obvious why.Nobody's, if he can foot his own costs, but that means he's got a job usually. If not, he already is someone's problem. His parents' most probably. If he's heading towards a psychotic break due to his self-induced isolation and bad habits, he becomes the tax payer's problem. That's not right either. Adults at least working enough to sustain themselves is non-negotiable. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 28/12/25 10:17 PM |
| 2 | Women don’t give good advice on dating and it’s obvious why.No that's just facts. People who succumb to complete inertia and listlessness start to mentally deteriorate. Maybe some are more resilient and can withstand it longer but it definitely leads there. My brother's friend work in a psych ward, and he sees such cases frequently. Paranoia, agoraphobia etc. and it's mostly self-induced. At that point it becomes other people's problems. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 28/12/25 10:05 PM |
| 1 | If the majority of people you know are dysfunctional, that's your fault.You're missing the point with "Were are all the good men?" It often comes from a place of high privilege and entitlement, and that's what causes irritation. It's often an accomplished, upper middle-class woman uttering those words. It gets even worse when journalists find this woman's gripe newsworthy somehow, dote on her story for the first 1/3 of the article, then spends the next 2/3 of the article shitting on the "state of men". Heavily implied: Men should feel compelled to haul ass and make … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 28/12/25 05:05 PM |
| 3 | Women don’t give good advice on dating and it’s obvious why.I don't mean to imply it was controversial in here specifically. On PPD we're chronically online, comfortably hyperindividualist/relativist and transactional, aren't we? :) I do however know it pisses off some societal institutions, such as mainstream media. Doesn't matter probably. MSM hasn't got the same reach anymore. Who's even listening? Anyway.. outside of this, meeting women at work and so on. it's obvious how many are still "tuned in", to print and linear tv, celebrity opinions, conventi… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 28/12/25 03:27 PM |
| 3 | Women don’t give good advice on dating and it’s obvious why.Not really. Men have always been more prone to bugger off and start subcultures, when they no longer want to, or won't play along. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 28/12/25 02:53 PM |
| 3 | Women don’t give good advice on dating and it’s obvious why.You have to live in society. Being pro- or anti-society is pointless. It's thus a misnomer when people say "men quitting society". That's frankly impossible, almost. I'm talking about quitting the larger culture, and that is very possible. Lots of men do. More accurately, it's to walk in and out of it whenever it suits you, because it no longer really matters to you. No stakes, no friction. You don't have to even consider what's generally regarded as laudable, impressive or hot by any mainstream… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 28/12/25 02:19 PM |
| 4 | Women don’t give good advice on dating and it’s obvious why.Yeah agreed. But I think it's not enough to point out performative masculinity alone, because that's just one of several fall-traps. The other fall-trap is in fact mainstream society, in all it's (now) fake-progressive emptiness. Both are fake, both need to be discarded. But the general difference regarding the latter, between men and women, is that women tend to band together to pro-socially change things, like they actually want to inherit and live in the structures men are increasingly leavin… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 28/12/25 10:53 AM |
| 1 | Do you believe women have higher income standards now?Which is a good argument that it's time to scrap every DEI initiative, and other such programmes designed to disenfranchise and discriminate against men. No more grants for female or minority entrepreneurship etc. It won't help all men. Many will fail the competition anyway, but at least we can make it fair. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 28/12/25 10:20 AM |
| 6 | Women don’t give good advice on dating and it’s obvious why.If we're talking about someone this unattractive and dysfunctional, I think we should indirectly encourage giving up on dating, but doing so by framing the alternative in a triumphant way. It absolutely can be. But this is a discussion many women balk at unfortunately. Many of the ones who like you say "live a life fulfilled without someone else in it." still assume "normie confines" on that concept. Because they like unattractive men to be NPCs, because they tend to be more obsessed with normal… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 28/12/25 10:08 AM |
| 2 | When guys who say “I want to be TRULY desired” or “I want to be wanted for who I am, not what I can provide” they mean they want to worshipped.Oh yeah, that too. I forgot, haha! Good movie at any rate, though the CGI is a tad dated now. Disney stopped pretending sex doesn't exist a good while ago anyway, was my point. Of course it's only implied and firmly off-screen, were it should be, but that doesn't mean it isn't there. And they do like to sneak in subtle jokes about sex here and there too. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 27/12/25 07:39 PM |
| 4 | When guys who say “I want to be TRULY desired” or “I want to be wanted for who I am, not what I can provide” they mean they want to worshipped.Well yeah.. but on the other hand, when Mr. incredible gets the chance to do some secret superheroing, his lust for life returns. He doesn't just kiss Mrs. Incredible (very vigorously). He pinches her ass too. I'm just saying.. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 27/12/25 06:52 PM |
| 1 | Thoughts for men who stay mad at womenI will agree insofar that the men who end up hating women as a collective have landed in the wrong conclusion, but your take is still shallow if you round it all up to "people just need to accept that everyone is a unique". Because the question that needs to be asked then is why people, namely women, refuse to lead with their uniqueness, why they choose to obfuscate what makes them genuine for the sake of "workplace culture", agreeableness and all that crap? Yes, I KNOW there are real people und… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 27/12/25 10:21 AM |
| 5 | No one told men that good manners and good morals translated to sexual desire within most women.Then you don't know what you're asking for probably, because chivalry has a hard edge to it too. The chivaleresque man will treat certain women with abject disregard actually. Those that do drugs on the weekend, curse in every other sentence etc. Chivalry only goes to women with respectable lives. Originally it was shown people from respectable families. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 26/12/25 09:10 AM |
| 7 | Women should just cut off any access to intamcy till they get the result they want.A flimsy sex strike won't cut it. You'd need to pick up all the old tools for social control that women sought to abolish, and get the whole structure back. Marriage and family is the norm. Married people have noticably higher status than the unmarried ones. Promiscous people, people who remain single for too long are othered hard by the moral majority. Sex before marriage is heavily frowned upon. Men and women are held in line by strong cultural institutions bringing virtue and value to their l… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 23/12/25 03:42 PM |
| 2 | Autistic men struggle much more in life than autistic womenI don't think it's a very productive thing to discuss, who has it worse. A lot of what you describe is common male /female discrepancies which may or may not hit people with autism harder, in various situations. But even that is probably offset by individual circumstances so much that it's hard to get any accurate assessment I have a dark question though for neurotypicals. Would you condone medicating these traits away? Since this is innate to neurology, it can't be changed per se, but say that … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 22/12/25 12:12 PM |
| – | People use “icks” to compensate for an being uninteresting personI'm not sure I understand the term. I thought it equals disgust? Like, now we're way past "incongruance which tanks friendship/romance" and in the territory of well, disgust. I have a coworker who's got Tourettes, I think. He makes disgusting noises with his mouth all day. It makes me, at first possible convenience, take the opportunity to switch desks, further away from him, when the opportunity arises. He's also crass and oblivious. Comments on the micro-behaviors of others while apparently no… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 22/12/25 09:48 AM |
| 1 | Emotional Addiction Is Ruining Relationships With WomenA lot of what you say does seem sensible but not all the way. The problem I spot is that you're saying, not to bore down into the emotional, so you're putting a limit on "how much" and "how deep". You are correct that a limit needs to be put down but you're placing it in the wrong place imo. I think it's more about limiting to one +perhaps one few adjacent emotional topics and not let it bleed into "everything, everywhere, all at once". That's the real trainwreck I think you're identifying, when… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 22/12/25 09:35 AM |
| 3 | Men should not approach without obvious signalsI've never seen it like that at all. I see it like approach = step up to someone with the fixed intent of establishing something, making something happen. I don't understand people who do this at all, and it seems to me like a sure fire way to trip yourself up. What I find more normal is, if you have space for more people in your life you make sure to be extra open and connective. You enjoy shooting the shit with anyone, and if that someone doesn't bite, it's boring and unfunny. Then you'd rathe… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 22/12/25 09:01 AM |
| 1 | It’s smart for a man to stop being friends with a women after she rejects himYou can also ignore each other. The one who rejects cannot expect this person to remain connected. Can't be rude though, but you can treat each other in a polite but impersonal, neutral manner. Only oversocial people who demand everyone around them to be engaged would have a problem with this solution. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 22/12/25 08:43 AM |
| 1 | It’s smart for a man to stop being friends with a women after she rejects himYou do you, is my answer. If you can't help being emotionally captured if you stick around then, that's how it's got to be. But others may function differently. Some have a very egocentric sense of attraction and that helps. Like, if she/he proves to be disinterested (they said no), then your interest dies with it. Then there's no problem. Also if you just don't burn very hot. I'm very lukewarm when it comes to attraction. There's always a little "not sure I really want". So I never get any real… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 22/12/25 08:24 AM |
| – | Nothing wrong with dating actuallyWould have been an excellent thing to say a decade earlier. The problem now is that almost everyone's a shut-in these days. Normal people begin to sound like autists with too little social muscle or skill. Heck even many women can be sort of "buh?" when you attempt to speak to them. I'm not talking about cold approaches, just regular interactions where you aren't unwelcome or anything either. It's just that holding and actually feeding into a conversation is a strain now somehow and too much wor… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 21/12/25 08:42 AM |
| 1 | The rise of unhealthy female goonersNot inviting doesn't = stigmatizing One is passive, the other active but I'm not sure you understand that distinction. What gets ridiculous is when something that clearly doesn't belong in the mainstream, such as monster porn-books, ends up there anyway because it clocks in on "thing that a growing group of women" do. The porn appears in book stores. There's quasi-intellectual tv-sofas where the NPC's gush over how fascinating and amazing this all is.. ..and it's fucking weird. No horndog ever f… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 21/12/25 08:11 AM |
| 7 | Men who dont get dates and relationships biggest problem with womenMust be infuriating for you that these men, who can't even get into a relationship have no responsibility whatsoever for the things you're saying now. Nothing, nada, zilch. They have no obligation in the position they're in. Should they find themselves in a relationship later then yes, those things may begin to matter. But another group of men who can righteously ignore what you're saying are the ones who have low-energy girlfriends who in fact do very little of anything. These guys do the major… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 21/12/25 07:04 AM |
| 1 | Men who dont get dates and relationships biggest problem with womenI think women object to the idea, because it's never sure the person talking is in fact completely damned when it comes to this. You obviously wouldn't know from some lines of bitter text what the person's actual chances really are. You don't know him. And then women won't in good conscience encourage men to give up, check out, and get themselves that artificial replacement which, all things combined, turns it into destiny that this man will in fact never have any relationships. I have a differe… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 21/12/25 06:44 AM |
| 1 | The rise of unhealthy female goonersYou're correct. We'll just have to see if I'm right, but I think it's worth to issue a warning at least. Fetish is fine, but you have to manage it, keep it a little separate. Replacement sexuality isn't fine or healthy at all, for many reasons. When these books break into the mainstream, which they have, that's a conversation worth having. But let's not kid ourselves, it is just as dangerous with AI-partners. A similar psychological problem right there. On the flip-side, for others it's very hea… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 21/12/25 06:17 AM |
| 1 | The rise of unhealthy female goonersAfter having spent lots of time with freaks and pervs, I think I have my distinction very clear on what goes and what doesn't This is what we agree on, the ones I've talked to regarding this: By all means have crazy side-fetishes if you enjoy them, but you have to manage it, keep it a bit separate. Do not let it warp into full blown replacement sexualities. Because that shit can lead to severe dysfunction, depression, even paraphilia in worst case scenarios. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 21/12/25 06:05 AM |
| 1 | CMV: "I thought y'all chose the bear" is an immature response to women's frustration with datingYeah, it's time to call that out harshly. It's mainly TikTok upvote addicts that do this. Yes, they are mostly women, but if we're to shame these attention-grifters effectively, it's best to leave gender unmentioned. There needs to be derogatory words to call them by, but I can't come up with any at the moment. Anyway, it's a phenomenon that needs to be bullied into oblivion. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 21/12/25 06:00 AM |
| 1 | The rise of unhealthy female goonersWhat's this? That classic faulty theory where men, supposedly think they govern over women and has to be told that they don't? Please Let's keep it on a slightly higher level than that. I'm uneasy due to patterns I recognize. It has nothing to do with the material in itself, but the relation to it I see the fans express, that they ARE replacing real people with this. That's when it switches from a side-fetish into a fullblown replacement sexuality. The hopeful interpretation when they write that… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 21/12/25 05:54 AM |
| 14 | CMV: "I thought y'all chose the bear" is an immature response to women's frustration with datingI seriously doubt she's being sincere, or in the interest of making friends. She's sitting there and filming herself. It's likely she already had a plan for a completely different video, in case someone would've said "hi"to her. And it probably wouldn't have been very nice at all. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 20/12/25 07:15 PM |
| 1 | What constitutes a simp?Sort of like the Nice Guy, but without the epic meltdown when told no? I don't use the term, so I don't know, but if I can pick and choose... Then I'd choose it to be someone who clearly fakes all his opinions and ideas to fit with his template approximation of what women think, believe or value. This in the hope that it would get him admiration or access to sex. Not very effective of course since women don't all agree or think alike. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 20/12/25 06:59 PM |
| 46 | CMV: "I thought y'all chose the bear" is an immature response to women's frustration with datingNobody is owed that strangers engage them in a public space. It's therefore apt to make fun of those who hold that expectation and decide to complain about it. It's a very entitled attitude. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 20/12/25 06:39 PM |
| -1 | The rise of unhealthy female goonersOppress? You're taking it a bit far there my guy. You ran all the way to the other extreme. I meant "not include". I'm against mainstream culture for the most part and don't want that inclusion, thanks. I'm noting that groups of women are always included into that soup, whether they ask for it or not. I'm sure some of them would enjoy a bit more detachment sometimes, and be in that group which the mainstream just doesn't "get", nor particularly bothers with. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 20/12/25 04:13 PM |
| 2 | The rise of unhealthy female goonersNo don't be sorry. I read all you wrote here and I agree with a great deal of it. It does get bizarre though doesn't it that the reflex to accommodate anything (some) women have started to do in group is so strong in culture that a book that kinda is, well, cow porn, ends up being fronted in the cozy book store? I wonder why being in-culture is desirable as opposed of being in an outlier group. I may be romantizising subcultures but growing up, you often fell out as a man, into groups a little d… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 20/12/25 03:39 PM |
| -2 | The rise of unhealthy female goonersYou ignored so much of what I just wrote that I have to assume it's on purpose. I can reiterate the point of the post you just responded to. Women aren't victims of patriarchy. They are victim of being engulfed by an increasingly bloated collective telling them they have to get along with, and validate, everything woman (female coded / stuff women do in group, moreso than men). So not even when they create a bizarre subculture, with some problematic people and elements to boot, not even then can… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 20/12/25 02:36 PM |
| 1 | The rise of unhealthy female goonersWhy it matters to me? Nothing. Except.. It blows another myth out of the water regarding men and women being supposedly different. It's ammunition for whenever someone comes with any tired "men and their porn use" crap, as if that's incredibly particular and suspicious, because men. It's not. I dropped the link in another post but here it is again https://smartbitchestrashybooks.com/2025/08/sinners-stardust-sexual-assault/ | /r/PurplePillDebate | 20/12/25 02:06 PM |
| 1 | The rise of unhealthy female goonersThen that's a warning sign. Then it has happened. But that must be held separate. Because like with drunk drivers, we don't spend time schooling, suspecting, shaming any average person enjoying a beer. PSAs are fine though as a preemptive, but they just focus on the lines not to cross. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 20/12/25 01:52 PM |
| 0 | The rise of unhealthy female goonersI get what you're saying, but I thought it a bit more relevant now when you actually see hard copies of Milking farm in your book store? I wouldn't have made my post otherwise. Clear indication of mainstream penetration (pun intended). Not losing any marbles btw. Women behaving (and failing) in the same way as men do is a step up. Especially when you show it off. It destroys gender narratives. You know those who actually do panic? Biased sociologists holding position. Because now they have to in… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 20/12/25 01:40 PM |
| 3 | The rise of unhealthy female goonersReasonable! But then, maybe, shouldn't male porn consumers be shown a bit more grace? Like we'll keep the lens on the criminal content(obviously) and some darker edges of it, also compulsive use, but that's generally it. Otherwise, no. No clear warning sign, no problem assumed. And to keep consistent. If we don't like the guy who thinks it gross that his partner reads smut, we throw him in the same bucket as the woman who says she can't stand being with any man who ever uses porn, even very infr… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 20/12/25 12:17 PM |
| 2 | The rise of unhealthy female goonersI think we are in agreement on the most essential things. Neither of us are dunking on the content in itself, nor that there are people engaging with it in general. I do also point out however that there's something like unhealthy attachment, and that such things tend to spill over into bad behaviors eventually. And that is a lot less gendered than people seem to think. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 20/12/25 11:59 AM |
| 0 | The rise of unhealthy female goonersYeah I get what you mean. I've seen some passages, never read an entire book but, I had another thought just now. Wouldn't it be nice to call a spade a spade, and the spade being called is cool with it too? Heh, look at this story. This stuffs bizarre and people are weird for liking it. Fan response: Haha, we know, but us perverts love it! That'd be a breath of fresh air. Do women actually need mainstream media, academics run deference and legitimize every little thing they're interested in doin… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 20/12/25 11:42 AM |
| 5 | The rise of unhealthy female goonersA little fringe group of men settling on real dolls or AI-partners isn't affecting anyone either. But on that subject women have written online at length, as if it somehow IS their problem. Not only that, articles heaving criticism and concern over those things have also been printed and paid for. That's a whole other level of legitimacy to those debates. So that validates me doing the exact same thing. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 20/12/25 11:02 AM |
| 1 | The rise of unhealthy female goonersDo you think that invalidates the discussion? Like the only reason to wrestle with a topic is whether how much of a social/societal problem it can be construed to be. Pointing out people acting unhealthy and analyzing why can be done anyway. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 20/12/25 10:42 AM |
| 1 | The rise of unhealthy female goonersIt's not anyone's business. But it isn't the "what" I've been talking about, but the "how". I take issue with certain "hows" and motivations because I know that depending on that, the threshold to start mistreating people lowers. But it's more an indication than anything. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 20/12/25 10:33 AM |
| -8 | The rise of unhealthy female goonersThat is true, but it's mainly a power differential. Men being bigger etc. All of that is offset when you have like an insecure teenage guy coming face to face with say.. an unhinged woman in her thirties. And those events are on the rise. But the difference is these cases are made invisible due to overzealous people protecting their narratives. It's a hare-brained paranoid reaction that says "Nope, we can't give space to acknowledge that problem even for a second, or the pressure we're mounting … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 20/12/25 10:06 AM |
| 5 | The rise of unhealthy female goonersThis article doesn't cover all of it. I can dig out the multiple sources but there were many more instances of groping, and people getting their costumes ruined with the fans getting very physical. Someone even tried to put a tracker on a cosplayer to be able to follow him later to his room. All in all, it really was a trainwreck reminescent of early furry conventions. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 20/12/25 10:00 AM |
| -9 | The rise of unhealthy female goonersKeep telling yourself that. But you aren't actually in any geeky-ass fandom I wager? I am. So then you wouldn't actually know that we've always had prolific female content creators. Yes, they are obsessed with certain fictional characters, but these women are just lovable scamps with overactive imaginations and that's all well and good. But recently you get these women who obsess differently, who make these characters stand-in imaginary husbands for themselves which, I would assume, is borne fro… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 20/12/25 09:56 AM |
| 12 | The rise of unhealthy female goonersYes of course. Here you go. This is the convention where it happened https://smartbitchestrashybooks.com/2025/08/sinners-stardust-sexual-assault/ | /r/PurplePillDebate | 20/12/25 09:43 AM |
| -3 | The rise of unhealthy female goonersI know actually. I'm a consumer of fanfic, and I write. Not erotica though, but with suggestive elements. The point about hybrids, monsters, anthros etc. is that they firmly exist in the camp of does-not-exist-in-real-life, and that's primary. The association is thus freer. You have no obligation to something that doesn't exist, plus it doesn't hit "too close to home". Also, they can be more visually expressive (sort of like manga actually) and that's a plus. I'm in the Zootopia fandom, and yes … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 20/12/25 09:32 AM |
| 2 | The rise of unhealthy female goonersThat it's a thing. That who's the "creepy porn consumer" has started to shift gender-wise. And that this probably is happening as a result of cultural shifts, the general disintegration of male/female relations. And of course that people who've one-sidedly engaged with topics like "men and porn" over the years have been laughably wrong and biased, as always. I could have made my post more pointed to inflame the sub as per usual. Maybe it was a mistake to soften the roll. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 20/12/25 09:07 AM |
| -8 | The rise of unhealthy female goonersBut they always have. This form of it isn't new, but what is new is seeing a much larger number of women who's attachment is obviously unhealthy. And I link that to the deterioration of male/female relationships because, what else could it be? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 20/12/25 09:00 AM |
| 0 | The rise of unhealthy female goonersI admit I've not weighed actual numbers here but it's pretty big. "Morning Glory: Milking farm" is definitely within this territory I'm discussing, and it's a bestseller. Look it up at your own peril. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 20/12/25 08:50 AM |
| 3 | What I think people get wrong about whether or not men care about your careerThe higher you get on the ladder, the more the family pressure increases. That explains a lot. And some of the most hopeless young men who can't hack dating come exactly from those type of upper middle class, educated homes. Sometimes they make a rational decision by flunking out, dropping down a social class and breaking free. Of course there's all sorts of misleading counter narratives regarding "anti-study culture" and whatnot, but it's mainly middle-classers policing each other. I think a lo… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 19/12/25 01:38 PM |
| 13 | Some Women Are So Obsessed With Older Men That It Makes You Wonder . . .No, I don't think it's that common, but it's certainly a phenomenon. I'd wager it's daddy issues sometimes. Like the attraction in parts come from the fantasy of being welcomed up to some imagined higher adult level. Or the inverse of that, to be allowed to infantilize oneself. Those are the ones who can't hack adulting on their own. Historically though, it's been a lot more about assets and offered stability which younger men cannot provide. Sometimes in LGBT-thick gatherings, there's these you… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 19/12/25 01:27 PM |
| 3 | “Male loneliness crisis” gets the attention it does because society fears lonely discontented men more than it fears lonely discontented womenQuestion is why should any of those groups care though? It's not like we are in the dark ages, that's to say the Buzzfeed era. The last time in history were men still gave a damn about what society thought of them, and society was consistently throwing "Do as I say or you're misogynist" in their faces. That stuff is feeble now. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 18/12/25 06:12 PM |
| 2 | Men have inexplicably rejoiced in their own subjugation - but only selectivelyThere were tons of other codes these men followed in all other walks of life which had nothing to do with women. So I don't think your framing is right. However, I see it differently. Those things? I personally love doing them because they actually ARE paternalistic. In action, you become an antithesis to equality. And that of course funny. Though I don't think it should cost you more than what you can reasonably give. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 18/12/25 05:57 PM |
| 5 | CMV: Single mothers should not have to settle for lessThat's what it is. "Mold those pesky men into utility somehow! Oh, and I'm a liberal btw." | /r/PurplePillDebate | 18/12/25 04:10 PM |
| 3 | Men who ask out a female friend 9 out of 10 times naturally developed feelings for her and didn’t put her in the “fuck zone”Totally this. Me and many guys I know have sometimes had an orbiter. A thing I want to add to that though is that sometimes this woman doesn't want to date/sleep with you for real. She just wants to imagine it. A controlled fantasy kind of thing. She might be engaged or in no position dealing with the real deal. If she knows you're not available, that's even more likely what it is. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 18/12/25 01:49 PM |
| 2 | Location as a solution to dating gets a very bad rap because it’s put underneath the “Passport Bro” moniker, when you don’t have to go abroadNo, but it's immensely easier to reinvent yourself when you relocate. You can try on a different face, a new set of personality traits, establish other habits and routines. It can give some incredible insights on where you've gotten stuck on dating before like "Aha, there's the problem". Can recommend. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 18/12/25 01:21 PM |
| 1 | I think identifying the attractive aspects of toxic masculinity was the peak of male dating advice, and influencers these days have taken it to autistic levelsSome is lifestyle, routines and habits, but a lot of toxicity is rather certain kinds of beliefs and expression. I think I saw the nuance very clearly what makes attractive toxic masculinity. I picked it up from a friend basically, and I can't do it quite as well as him but it has still served me well to adopt. The secret is: It isn't serious. You let yourself display some very piggish trait sometimes, say borderline sexist things, but there's a careful little nuance, an ironic lightness, in the… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 18/12/25 01:13 PM |
| 1 | Are most issues with modern dating caused by lack of effort from men?I think it's a lot more than that. Men are the only ones now who can actually repair and reintegrate the dating culture, should they choose to. Being considerate in the general sense isn't enough, but to actually live virtue. The timeless things like grace, humility, forgiveness etc. That is something no feminist nor female-collective narrative can even touch. The reason is that they cannot address second-hand damage done to culture without backtracking on important points they've previously mad… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 18/12/25 10:33 AM |
| 3 | Men who ask out a female friend 9 out of 10 times naturally developed feelings for her and didn’t put her in the “fuck zone”That's a hopeful thought. But judging from earlier threads on autism and masking, I run a search. No posters ever challenged the narrative saying "Hey, these quirky traits can be interesting, adorable even." There seemed to be only two types. Those who considered masking = betrayal, and "shouldn't they know nobody owes them sex?", as if the advice was for them to always come clean and be insta-rejected by 99.9999% of the pool. The other ones were more "Masking? Cool. Please thoroughly polish awa… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 18/12/25 08:52 AM |
| 4 | Men who ask out a female friend 9 out of 10 times naturally developed feelings for her and didn’t put her in the “fuck zone”I don't know if the distinction truly matters. I very much agree with the idea how it guards the self worth. That's important, and something people should listen to. Unless they do, they don't truly own it. It hinges on other's approval. But... None of it changes the outlook, the probability or the amount of chances. It's a fools game for the person with a lot of generally concerned negatives to foster an abundance mentality and play that self-affirming "I deserve this, this and that". Because t… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 18/12/25 08:36 AM |
| 3 | Men who ask out a female friend 9 out of 10 times naturally developed feelings for her and didn’t put her in the “fuck zone”I don't think you understand gray asexuality. These people can't correctly attach their desires to a person until there's been a very long time of familiarity, and that's absolute. They do not feel desire in the way normal people do. Some can (mechanically) have sex before then, but they really don't like it. For lack of better options, they might do it anyway, or they're seen as frigid (more women gets this), or like unappealing weirdos (more men). It aligns very very often with autistic traits… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 18/12/25 08:15 AM |
| 6 | Men who ask out a female friend 9 out of 10 times naturally developed feelings for her and didn’t put her in the “fuck zone”I don't think there are any options for that. Sad news is, if you function like that and don't want to drastically limit your dating pool, you probably have no choice but to go through the motions and date at people's general preferred speed, only going on an estimatation of compatible personality and a faint thread of attraction. Then you have to soldier through, have sex you don't really want to have yet, and just hope the pieces fall in place sometime after, when you already have a relationsh… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 17/12/25 11:57 PM |
| – | “Male loneliness crisis” gets the attention it does because society fears lonely discontented men more than it fears lonely discontented womenThe female academics and journalists are pushing agendas. They hold the loud speaker and they get paid to do so. It's not comparable to anonymous online male voices. Putting the two of them on an equal field is a well-known tactic to exonerate media and academia from their failures, but the truth is, most of the time they're not even worth listening to. Clueless boomer/Gen-X bewilderment coming from derelict institutions. More news at 10. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 17/12/25 10:40 PM |
| – | “Male loneliness crisis” gets the attention it does because society fears lonely discontented men more than it fears lonely discontented womenBut the amount of women that are NEETS, unemployed, reported: lonely /unhappily single etc. has also risen, even if not as much. The male loneliness epidemic is thus a misnomer. It's a universal loneliness epidemic which has hit certain sub-groups of men harder. To actually get an accurate assessment of this (and I don't claim I have it) we'd have to break the groups of reported lonely men and women both down into sub-groups and see how those compare. The macro level lens of men - women only see… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 17/12/25 10:27 PM |
| 1 | Men who ask out a female friend 9 out of 10 times naturally developed feelings for her and didn’t put her in the “fuck zone”It's especially bad if you are something of a demisexual, and you would've actually needed all of that time and familiarity for those feelings to build at your pace. Well that option's not on the table. Especially not now when everyone's on a schedule and usually can summon up other candidates with their app. Unless you want to tank your dating pool to merely a fraction, you put yourself through dating in the same way, and at the same pace as everyone else is. Swallow the tears, have some good e… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 17/12/25 09:59 PM |
| – | “Male loneliness crisis” gets the attention it does because society fears lonely discontented men more than it fears lonely discontented womenMen as class is almost meaningless as point of analysis. If not broken into sub-groups, we learn nothing. In the European countries, the main concern is an increasingly ethnified underclass of men from the Middle east and Africa and yes, they indeed turn very violent when hopeless. Meanwhile, majority pop. men currently in a slump frankly don't do all that much. Some colorful whining on the internet maybe, until they think better of it and/or get their life in order. Most of the time at least. A… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 17/12/25 09:33 PM |
| 2 | Sexuality is toxic.They're one and the same for men actually. It drives both this engagement and career attainment. LevelCaterpillar1850 is correct, without the promise of sex and relationships (and me adding: respect and status as optional currencies), men producing value is significantly reduced. It does have an impact on a country's growth and stability. You shamed that reaction, somewhat inaccurately by saying it's sad they lay down and rot instead of living their lives. And you can do that, free speech and al… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 17/12/25 01:47 PM |
| 2 | Sexuality is toxic.Well no, but pulling extra to contribute to society, or exercise leadership in community situations, why would they do that when neither sex, respect, nor even a general acknowledgement of status is to be expected? Disengaged men complaining about what they're lacking, fine, criticize those. They need to own their choices instead of pushing blame. But those who are quietly disengaged and situationally outside positions of greater responsibility, you don't get to moralize or complain over them. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 17/12/25 01:15 PM |
| 2 | Certain parts of female sexuality give men the ickTwo things. It's either male writers describing eroticism, or it's stories narrated from a straight male characters point of view. Neither of that is welcome in mainstream publication, and is incredibly policed and mocked. This is an old example but it's telling. You know the book series "Girl with the dragon tattoo"? Crime mystery series. In the first book, over 500 pages, exactly two of those are dedicated to a sex scene between the two protagonists. It's a scene which makes narrative sense, b… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 17/12/25 12:37 PM |
| – | The existence of unattractive and undatable people is a way that nature uses to stop reproductionIndeed, that is correct. This group is very misunderstood and receives poor advice because of it, but they also are incorrect the times they generalize they're fundamentally unable. The informed answer is that in theory they can do it, some even have, but the cost is extreme. The socially/romantically skilled autism-spectrum guy isn't actually skilled. It's not empathic, social intelligence but just masquerading as such. What they do in social situations is to cross reference dozens of past inte… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 17/12/25 11:56 AM |
| 2 | The “male loneliness epidemic” is not primarily caused by the lack of female companionship or sex, and blaming it on women is a mistake that makes things worseYeah, this exactly. And right now, we will have to be wary of their influence. They DO want to own the male loneliness debate. That much is evident. And many women are ok with that and share their version of the problem descriptions. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 17/12/25 11:18 AM |
| 3 | The “male loneliness epidemic” is not primarily caused by the lack of female companionship or sex, and blaming it on women is a mistake that makes things worseBut it gets completely inane in this instance. Men abbrasively bothering women? Problem confirmed, check. Men lopsidedly deferring house work on their wives, check Some men victimizing others sexually/violently, definately check. All legitimate topics, though we may argue about nuances or framing. But for the checked out, unattached man? None of this frame of blaming even works. He would have to be in a position of responsibility over the problems he's being blamed for, which he isn't, so nothin… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 17/12/25 10:07 AM |
| 2 | The “male loneliness epidemic” is not primarily caused by the lack of female companionship or sex, and blaming it on women is a mistake that makes things worseIt's overdone though. And to the extent it is happening, the answer isn't to coax these men into mainstream narratives, feminist models of what men now are "supposed to be" etc. The only thing is to make them realise what they're doing is mostly a choice they've made, and let them own it. But checked out men otherwise naturally have extremely little society/community responsibility. Regarding problems men-women, it's close to zero, because they're leading a life which put those questions out of … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 17/12/25 09:49 AM |
| 1 | The “male loneliness epidemic” is not primarily caused by the lack of female companionship or sex, and blaming it on women is a mistake that makes things worseThat's because it's a lie by academia and mainstream pundits, it's a lie that warrants their engagement, without which it would be brutally obvious that they would be overstepping. It's also a way to steal tax payers reasources, like the "Man enough" initiative, run by institutional feminist parasites. Think about how laughable it is that a checked out guy, who at most has an AI girlfriend is coaxed to lectures on selfishness and women's experiences when he's living a lifestyle which situational… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 17/12/25 09:25 AM |
| 1 | Where do women want to be hit on?Lol, don't be hitting on women, that's a fools game. Mingle, strike strong impressions, say and do stuff that's designed to stir feelings, but don't make any move. She will have to do that herself, in a hurry, or you'll just drift off elsewhere, towards other people. And this is something you can do in most places but parties are the best for it. If someone thinks you're hitting on them when you're not, that's their problem. Being a charmer in that sense works often enough. Eventually someone ru… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 17/12/25 08:40 AM |
| – | The existence of unattractive and undatable people is a way that nature uses to stop reproductionThis is true but only applies to very few people. Even most incels are wrong about their own self-assessment. Not all of them though. The combination of low intelligence and bad genetics can in some cases make success so extremely unlikely that it's more rational to consider it hopeless tbh. But otherwise, and what lines up with my own experience, problems with looks or being unusual, out of the norm, it can be bulldozered over with personality. A person can dismiss you due to criteria, but that… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 17/12/25 08:30 AM |
| 2 | The impetus for self-improvement does not matterI actually can't stand the "work on yourself" narrative, because it's so damn linear, riddled with morality, mainstream ideas of success, milestones and pop-psych. Sometimes a person is actually held back because they are working on themselves, trying to live up to expectation. Sometimes the answer is to throw everything away, maybe drop down a social class, maybe wounding your family in the process. Sometimes it's about becoming overt and transparent about your uglier sides without making excus… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 15/12/25 10:14 PM |
| 1 | Men Are More Prepared for Feminism Than WomenIn these scenarios I think that custody should default to the boy's parents, should they choose to accept, otherwise closed adoption. Someone who gets pregnant from molesting a child should automatically lose all parental rights to said child. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 15/12/25 06:55 PM |
| 1 | Men Are More Prepared for Feminism Than WomenSometimes it actually is feminists, because they understand that banning circumsicion would be a declaration of war against judaism and islam. And let's be frank, it probably would be. And that's somehow more uncomfortable than routinely scarring male babies. I say A. Ban it now B. brutally crush the opposition, even if you have to go to terrible extremes. This might actually be a hill worth dying on. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 15/12/25 06:51 PM |
| 2 | Men Are More Prepared for Feminism Than WomenOnly one side can be right though. Logically I choose yours, because sanctity of personal space and not being imposed upon speaks to reason. But this automatically make all women who ever complained about men not approaching them to objectively be in the wrong, and context be damned. I actually think this latter group reeks of entitlement wanting to compel men to do something they don't want to do. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 15/12/25 06:39 PM |
| – | Tell me who has more appeal to the average woman out there: the nice, soft-spoken man who attends theraphy or the cocky dude with a don't-give-a-fuck attitudeOpening up about growth journeys and "working on self", big mistake. It's unappealing and screams "I'm insecure and bound to be a burden". It's, a fine thing to be doing, but don't talk about it. So definitely the idgaf attitude, but that one gets even better if there's real substance and effort behind, which they wouldn't pin on you to begin with. And if they catch glimpse of that, you go "Oh that? Please, it's nothing." | /r/PurplePillDebate | 15/12/25 04:24 PM |
| 1 | Slutcon - a training camp for learning how to flirt, etcThings like that can work for some, specifically the ones who can't get over the inhibition of trying in the first place. In this setup, they are made to express that in training scenarios etc. But I doubt it does anything for those who ARE shooting their shots, and who misses all the time. For the latter group, it's not going to work probably, no. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 14/12/25 10:07 AM |
| 1 | Nice guys pretend women are a monolith because they dont want to acknowledge that they are shallow and only see women as holes to fuck.You're wrong about them, entirely wrong. They're not just looking for holes to fuck. They want a hundred other things and are needy as fuck. Well, the solution then for these men is to just reduce themselves to dicks. I mean it works. They can stomp dead and hard supress feelings like "just wanting to be loved and understood" and all that. Until it's all but forgotten. The next step is that they just turn into shallow thrill seekers. Not laser focus on sex but all of the indulgences. Let's get d… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 14/12/25 09:36 AM |
| 2 | Women are denied the gift of failureI didn't see your gender flair, but I assume it would be the same? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 14/12/25 09:07 AM |
| -1 | Men are not more upfront than women be for realWhat I don't understand about these guys is that they also seem to be down on the idea about dating single mothers. Because these seem to me to be excellent for having honest placeholder, that's to say outspokenly temporal, relationships with. Because, do these men even want to be first choice/first priority of someone they don't even consider their top pick? Do they even want full life integration with someone like that? I've been hit on by single moms several times, and it's so obvious to me w… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 14/12/25 08:28 AM |
| 2 | Women are denied the gift of failureFocus on character, observe and compliment things about who they are, not what they've achieved or their appearance as much. It's about reaching for an emotional reaction. I find it works best if you think less on what you're going to say, the exact words, and instead focus intently on them, what you learn about them, and what you want in the moment. "Right now I want them to feel more seen/relax about <negative thing>/laugh at themselves" etc. It comes more naturally then. Intuitive. Also, have… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 13/12/25 05:54 PM |
| 4 | Women are denied the gift of failureHaha, oh no. But I see what you mean. And this might be an area where it's best to just have a discussion. Sometimes a guy gets frustrated although, sure dating works for him, he does the cute little identity-based flattering observations, sprinkle a little magic into it, and she likes it. But she isn't giving any of the same back. It's one-sided in that sense, but not because of a spoiled attitude, but because she literally can't see it. Sometimes when you see women shooting shots though it goe… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 13/12/25 05:34 PM |
| 1 | In a societal level, no one is going to grant you freedom from oppressive structures and roles. If you want clemency, fight for it.But schools used to be tougher in a masculine hierarchical way which stimulated and motivated boys, but not girls. I'm the perfect example of this actually. I did very well in school and I attribute that to a fluke. I ended up in a class where the dominant, more popular boys came from academic homes. Grades = status, failing grades = loser. Of course, the curriculum was still feminized, awarding agreeableness, rethorics and reasoning sometimes (instead of a fact-oriented correct/false modality w… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 13/12/25 09:36 AM |
| 1 | In a societal level, no one is going to grant you freedom from oppressive structures and roles. If you want clemency, fight for it.This is untrue. Men do transgress gender roles all the time, but when it happens, it only liberates the one individual and it brings no lasting collective change. When we break the gender role script, that's a self-thing. We're not prosocially advocating for change in communities. In fact, the transgressive man often has an uncompromising anti-stance towards the culture which doesn't permit his difference, positioning himself as an enemy of that culture rather than level or negotiate with the so… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 13/12/25 09:08 AM |
| 13 | Women are denied the gift of failureThe only tiny area I can see your post make sense, it is about making approaches, and to skillfully generate attraction. That's the only instance where I see your point ring somewhat true. It's obvious that, if you never had to rely on that skill, could mostly count on men to take care of that for you, you will probably do badly. I've seen women shooting their shot like men do sometimes, and it's often been downright groanworthy, even if you might feel more sorry for them than annoyed usually. I… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 13/12/25 08:52 AM |
| 1 | Current dating is unfair for men because of woman have rid themselves of the responsibility that comes with the privileges they have, while men still have to still take on the responsibilities of theirsNot in my home. And that buys me the right to disregard a couple of hundred years of women's history. Just like that. Bought and paid for. But when men have this mentality + situation, you all go "can't handle a strong woman", don't you? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 12/12/25 08:59 PM |
| 4 | Felons and bullies getting alot of sex partners does not mean women in general like assholes.You have to look at people with actual violent crimes in their history as worse still, or something's obviously wrong with your priorities. Like I said, pitying them while looking down on people with more mundane issues is seriously messed up. Not that anyone has to agree with me on that, I just find it gross. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 12/12/25 08:37 PM |
| 1 | Men misinterpreted “I choose the bear” because they’re media illiterate or so defensive they chose willful obtusenessWell you shouldn't let anyone routinely exploit you, but on average, giving while getting nothing in return, it denotes your moral superiority. Being the one who's owed is a better position than the other way around imo. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 12/12/25 08:11 PM |
| 3 | Men misinterpreted “I choose the bear” because they’re media illiterate or so defensive they chose willful obtusenessNo. This is a just reiteration of Stranger Danger , and it's clearly instructional, given the chosen metaphors. If you're in distress somewhere, you want no strange man to approach and offer help, because then you prefer to deal with the distress (the bear) on your own. Personally, I don't live by that. If I see a woman, or anyone, clearly in need of assistance, I offer it (as a male stranger). Among normal people, that's appreciated. However, I do so now with a silent but empathic Fuck You to a… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 12/12/25 05:37 PM |
| 4 | The Grim Future of Men and Dating?Like I said. I've not seen any recent mission statement per se, so I wouldn't accurately know. But if I'd venture a guess, they're stuck on the "all men" modality like they've been for well, decades. It's a complete dead end, because the next question has to be "What type of men?" Then we go into a discussion about which sub-type of men are mostly prone to <insert crime against women>, and that's when it gets incredibly uncomfortable for the feminist, as other problem-groups get clearly named. O… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 12/12/25 02:16 PM |
| 10 | Felons and bullies getting alot of sex partners does not mean women in general like assholes.I think the sex frequency is overplayed. It makes a primal kind of sense to me that a forceful masculinity these guys possess, as well as the whole "he protects me but can beat you up" appeals to some. It makes sense if you consider a woman who's kind of unhinged, running mostly on instinct. So no, the sex doesn't bother me. What does bother me however, and which I find disgusting are the women who do emotional work for these types of men, employ understanding, and even a sense of forgiveness. T… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 12/12/25 02:01 PM |
| 3 | Holding up your partner to standards you can't meet yourself is not always hypocritical.Sure, I'm just saying it's futile. You may not like the hypcricy in this man's reasonings and how he selects his dates, but once he has, what obligation does he have to justify his choice to any of us? And I think that's a little what the OP is talking about too. There's tons of couples where one party has an expectation on a would-be partner they don't exactly apply to themselves. It's dumb, and most of the time it drastically limits their chances, but as long as they aren't complaining about i… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 12/12/25 11:58 AM |
| 2 | Holding up your partner to standards you can't meet yourself is not always hypocritical.Does it matter? In this example, the pair bonding happened, and then it's out of bounds for us to moralize over. That is, unless mistreatment starts to happen, and it's connected to this way of thinking. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 12/12/25 11:46 AM |
| – | Do you like male chastity cages?This is nuts. If anything it's the opposite. Yes women want men to show care and attention in bed, but most of them get super anxious if he doesn't also get spent in the process too. It can even be a silly mundane thing like he slept 4 hours last night, running on fumes, he can't finish and wants to call it off. She still gets anxious and suspicious although he's clearly explaining it's only due to not-great circumstances. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 12/12/25 11:38 AM |
| – | Careful. If you say you hate feminism even in DMs, you can face reddit-wide bans!I think that's inaccurate. I mean it is misandry, but not directly. Many of the owners of platforms and their investors are old. They are knowingly and unknowingly vanguards of old boomer morality. Some feminism is entrenched and institutional, but also all the general mores, loyalties etc. that belong in the last century. The common denominator though when it comes to this is "Men are to be molded into what WE deem useful", reduced to human-doings. The thing is, I've seen many examples of the e… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 12/12/25 10:47 AM |
| – | Careful. If you say you hate feminism even in DMs, you can face reddit-wide bans!It is interesting to be sure. One thing which made my jaw drop was when I read a feminist reviewing a novel. Some eccentric guy had written a semi-autobiographical story about turning volcel. Don't remember all of it, but he becomes obsessed with becoming the perfect home-maker. Anyway, she didn't like the book. The man was unaware of his privilege, as it was clear that he had the ability to opt-in/opt-out and there was no recognition for, here it comes: "People who don't possess the romantic an… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 12/12/25 10:31 AM |
| – | Careful. If you say you hate feminism even in DMs, you can face reddit-wide bans!That kind of sucks. I got such a DM but it was a guy who had seen a post of mine and came asking for advice on a number of things. We spoke for a while. I don't think that was fake. Didn't seem like it, and feminism was not the topic of discussion. But now you got me cautious. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 12/12/25 10:18 AM |
| 4 | The Grim Future of Men and Dating?And what do they want to achieve right now? I don't see a much of them tbh. The only ones I keep a watch on, but that's because I live in over-regulated Sweden, are the "institutional feminists". These are an older bunch of privileged people, Gen-Xers who just want us to endlessly tax subsidize a bunch of old boomer institutions they inherited. That's culture workers noone voluntarily paid, academic functions, keep paying for our indoctrination (we actually have to pay taxes for mainstream media… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 12/12/25 09:32 AM |
| 16 | The Grim Future of Men and Dating?Aye probably. Before that though, The good news is that celibacy, even life long singlehood will increasingly turn into a valid lifestyle noone raises an eyebrow over eventually. Like, in some respects, it'll at least be a lot easier on these men than in the past when they were this extreme anomaly. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 12/12/25 08:57 AM |
| 10 | The Grim Future of Men and Dating?It's interesting to be sure. I don't agree we are even there yet, and I'm unconvinced it's a trend that can go on indefinately and turn into a majority thing, but we'll see. Us parents are already feeling the squeeze. Too few kids at our kindergarten. We had to volunteer a lot to keep it going. Then we had a nice influx of children, but only because another kindergarten closed down. The thing is, I don't moralise over men going for romantic, sexual self-erasure. It would be a sick thing to do li… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 12/12/25 08:41 AM |
| 2 | The Grim Future of Men and Dating?So when's the supposed feminist utopia coming then? It seems that all we're getting is the erosion of communities, global competition, hyper-individualism and men and women more capitalist-minded than ever. Not that I'm complaining at all. I swim in that just fine, but feminists seem to be up in arms over it somehow? I've never seen them celebrate anything. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 12/12/25 08:24 AM |
| 15 | The Grim Future of Men and Dating?Jesus, why are you going on a tirade. Most men going for romantic and sexual self-erasure, they hurt noone, cost you nothing, and aren't your concern. I've met tons of men like that, and they are peaceful, harmless. A completely different breed from agressive anti-social men. These ones were always a problem, and them not getting into relationships is frankly a good thing. If they are in relationships they'll treat it like shit, if they can't then yeah, maybe they get more dangerous. But just lo… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 12/12/25 08:15 AM |
| 5 | The Grim Future of Men and Dating?They're going to have to fight for those. There's been a bunch of articles already regarding women being "victimized" by the fact that there apparently aren't enough men to fuck with on campus, where they outnumber men 60-40. Funny, when I went, I thought it was about studies somehow. Not some dating arena. I flunked out though when I realised I was studying something abjectly worthless. The advice I give young men is, don't go. Not unless you are 100% certain on a program, like going to med sch… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 12/12/25 07:58 AM |
| 2 | The Grim Future of Men and Dating?A fine decision. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 12/12/25 05:35 AM |
| 1 | Guys overestimate the percentage of men who can get away with being assholes.I can't exactly relate to that. I think reasonably ok men in the company of worse men tend to, not object, but abandon those worse men as soon as they can. And they ghost those friendships without ever giving a reason or saying a word. It's one thing during school years when we are all sort of stuck with each other, but as soon as that is over, the division starts to happen. Male in-group solidarity doesn't meaningfully exist imo. So, the more anti-social men aren't getting told. Those in the be… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 11/12/25 06:49 PM |
| 1 | Guys overestimate the percentage of men who can get away with being assholes.We have to separate good/bad acts vs good/bad personality. Bad personality in the sense of being: ego, selfish, being empathetic but not often employing sympathy, being shameless etc. Traits. All that helps a ton when dating. Because, you play the numbers game effectively then. No striking out then recoiling in shame for weeks until you might maybe dare to try again. No, you get rejected and the sting doesn't even get through your armor. You hardly even feel it, and you can just endlessly try ag… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 11/12/25 04:07 PM |
| 3 | are men being mentally abused by redpill influencers....?And the latter is only achievable if you get a sociology degree and a minor in gender studies. Only those guys can confidently tell when a man passes for an acceptable human being. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 11/12/25 01:26 PM |
| 1 | Men, could you go without love if all other traditional desires were met?No, I absolutely wouldn't want to be with someone who completely corners the home making position. That would undermine my own image of competence. She'd out-shine me then in a way that's much too thorough and too obvious, and we certainly can't have that. I guess that makes the question moot but about indifference, I don't see it working in the absolute sense. Being somewhat, but not completely indifferent, it can be fine though. That happens a lot in long relationships, especially when kids en… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 11/12/25 12:43 PM |
| 1 | are men being mentally abused by redpill influencers....?I don't follow gurus because I felt that looking for a father-figure is pro-social crap. I wouldn't know too much about this subject but I would bet that the claim of all of them being sadistic drill seargents, is something you've simply made up. What's true though is that mainstream media feminism has done exactly what you describe since forever. And there men learned the lesson and tuned out hard. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 11/12/25 07:22 AM |
| 1 | People who claim “That word’s been so misused that it lost meaning” just dont like being criticized.What's actually meant by "<word> has lost it's meaning" is that the intended target has left the debate, no longer listens to those things, and it doesn't hold any sway over them. It's mainly a response to debates and topics run by mainstream media. "Men" and "masculinity" shit-takes have been printed incessantly since the 90's, probably before then. And for us that grew up in that time, when mainstream media still held a dominant position, we got our self-esteem crushed some of us. You didn't n… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 11/12/25 07:04 AM |
| 1 | Straight men are better off allowing 4B and political lesbianism to take over the feminist movementNo. I was talking about resident members of a group, who leave when there's an influx of people bringing crazy politics in. The ones bringing it in would be the feminists. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 23/11/25 09:34 PM |
| 1 | Nice guys and loser men are just scapegoats for womenThat's classic abuse projection. Big dog bit you, so go on to bite the dog that's smaller than you. This can also be observed when a manager mistreats and employee, who then goes home and mistreats their kids. I'm a big fan of the idea of gaining and spreading knowledge about how we work, what's instinctual, common psychological patterns etc. Because if you have the knowledge and self-awareness, you won't be following retarded impulses. You can superego all over that shit. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 23/11/25 08:55 PM |
| – | Straight men are better off allowing 4B and political lesbianism to take over the feminist movementNot sure I understood all of that but if it's a matter of activist fanatics infiltrating a group, it usually takes care of itself after a while. Level-headed people drop off and start associating on the side. The group itself becomes more insular, negative and paranoid. Eventually, by the time you've already left (because you're reasonable) you always, always hear about how there was a huge meltdown where everyone had to take sides between two people. Ironically, it's often about a sexual transg… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 23/11/25 08:43 PM |
| 5 | Men who lead others on without even sleeping with themOk so fucking for validation = just guy things. Flirting (only) for validation = get therapy. Care to explain that one? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 23/11/25 08:31 PM |
| 3 | Men who lead others on without even sleeping with themThat all seemed a lot more deliberate and of a higher level of magnitude for sure. It went on for days. Seems obsessive. I was thinking more about the timeswhen you really hit it off with someone at a party and you just want to ride the highs of it for a bit, but.. maybe you see it as more or less the same type of thing? I do however think I'm onto something, that there are more guys around behaving like this, to varying degree? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 23/11/25 08:27 PM |
| 2 | Men who lead others on without even sleeping with themYeah. I don't think it's bad, and also, if someone actually want something to happen, they have to make it known. But I do wonder how common it is for men to be doing non-serious flirting compared to women. I could be wrong but it seems like a "mostly women" type of thing? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 23/11/25 08:21 PM |
| 3 | Men who lead others on without even sleeping with themCould be a youth thing too right? I think women do it more often than men, particularly younger. And then I heard it's something about young men in clubs these days too, that there's more of them that want to be "eye candy" without actually being available at all. But that may be an exaggeration/rumor | /r/PurplePillDebate | 23/11/25 08:13 PM |
| 1 | Too many guys let normal experiences become their whole personality and stunt their growth.Yeah, definitely, and it's a recent shared fetish too. I'm really glad to be in a household where that's strictly off the table. Both for me and for her. The whole idea that your spouse is supposed to be your bestest friend in the whole world and everything should be laid into the wide open between you, that's crazy. I mean, you shouldn't even do that with yourself too much. That leads to obsession. Like, be pragmatic ffs. Make the daily grind work . Make life work. If you're touched by a painfu… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 23/11/25 04:15 PM |
| 1 | Too many guys let normal experiences become their whole personality and stunt their growth.Yeah, no wonder you see more of that. There's been a parade of people lying and telling everyone that their fee-fees matter, and are surpremely relevant, when they really aren't. Us that are a little old school know that's not true. So old pains you suppress, your inner child who "just wanted to be seen and understood" and blabla, him you evict. This so that the adult you can emerge. That's old as time really. It's masculinity, and it's true. And yet Lilith, this perspective is attacked somethin… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 23/11/25 03:59 PM |
| 1 | Too many guys let normal experiences become their whole personality and stunt their growth.Just a question for you to make sure. Tell me you don't have a problem with guys doing the exact opposite thing though? I mean, us who learned to stoically suppress the shit out of things like that, kicked our inner child around a bit, then moved forwards and towards. I feel like this is a "pick one" kind of situation. For the record, I don't recognize myself even the slightest in OP's description, or yours, but what I AM tired with is the crowd that bitch endlessly about vulnerability and thera… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 23/11/25 03:43 PM |
| 0 | Most men never have a sexual primeNo no, the sexual prime is about body chemistry. It's when you are at peak hormone, metabolism etc. It's probably the time you would get the most out of sex. For women there's actually two of them, one early and one late, when the body starts signaling "Last ditch attempt to get pregnant!", they get very sexual. Missing the window of opportunity, it seems grim, but it really isn't. It probably just means you won't become all that hung up about sex really. You can still have, and enjoy it even if… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 23/11/25 01:49 PM |
| 2 | Women complain in hopes that men will take the baitYou mean that you've never seen the inverse situation? The man who hustles both to bring in the money and maintain some sort of standards at home? This while she has on and off depressions and other good excuses to do as little as possible. You know what those men are told? "A man like him, he must have some deep insecurity to stay with her. Bet he can't handle a strong woman". A lot of what you describe otherwise is reality from the other side of the millenium. The 50's through 90's which start… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 22/11/25 09:41 PM |
| 1 | Women complain in hopes that men will take the baitBased That's all that I can say really. This is much broader than just partner selection. It's a societal dynamic. As a cultural antidote, if you are a man who pays a lot more into the systems than you ever take out, know that people can say what they want but YOU objectively possess a higher net worth and thus higher dignity in that system than those who routinely sponge off of programs, grants etc. It may be obscured by propaganda but it's still undeniable fact. "Permission to be smug sir?" "P… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 22/11/25 09:11 PM |
| 1 | Way too many people want hook ups and won’t admit it. I think it’s because they want to lie to others and themselves.Are we talking about single men now? It matters because if someone professes they want a devoted relationship, gets it, but then starts to oogle every piece of ass in their vicinity, then yeah, I'd agree. Not with singles though, those who say they want a steady relationship yet sometimes calls it off after the fact. For many many people sex IS part of the selection process. They can be starkly monogamist at heart but they can't truly know if she's IT, unless they first had sex a couple of times… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 22/11/25 08:56 PM |
| 0 | Daily Reminder: Avoid Female-Dominated WorkplacesIt might differ a bit culturally. Scandinavian countries(my own frame of reference), I think it's less risk. Everyone, male or female tend to blend into the same pragmatic and bland mode of being, complete with a private-minded respectful distance. It sort of works. As a substitute teacher I went to many workplaces with almost nothing but women. I saw one shitty workplace where everyone needed to comply with a Queen Bee-type of lady and placate to all her opinions. But that was the one exception… | /r/MensRights | 22/11/25 08:34 PM |
| 1 | Men need to be a compilation of masculine and feminine traits in order to be successful in relationships and they are having trouble grasping that factFor extra fun times, "threaten" to shirk some of those good traits of yours and to dive into making yourself more masculine. Issue the threat in front of women who think you're a great catch (for someone else) and whatch the hypocritical "Nooo. Don't do it" unfold. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 20/11/25 04:24 PM |
| 1 | CMV: common fantasies of the opposite sex ≠ unspoken truthsIt doesn't really matter in my book. I'd say the partner who's been cheated on has a moral carte blanche in many ways, regardless if they were a good partner or not. Do they want to revenge-cheat? Fair. Nuke the relationship even if it has significant consequences, like their partner has got nowhere to live? Fair. Do they want to remain in the relationship but hold the incident over the head of their cheating partner for several months to come? Well that's fair too. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 20/11/25 03:50 PM |
| 1 | Men are delusional about how many bad men are out thereDo you think it's any different if a man suffers severe mistreatment from a female partner? No, then it's even worse. His choice of partner will not be blamed because that would imply she was a bad choice. It will be "Well what did he do to provoke her?" The older fembeasts are adamant keeping the narrative in place. Like "no good citizen should ever suspect that domestic violence, abuse in many forms, can ever be her-against-him" The younger bunch seem to have a more nuanced view, being able to… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 18/11/25 02:41 PM |
| 1 | Why do you think women want to talk to men?They don't want men appear out of nowhere and try to game them. That's nigh universal. Women are however often very much into this "we're living in a society" type of vibe were people nod, say hello, helps you with the bags, exchanges a few words, randomly and unassumingly. That which you only see in cutesy movies nowadays. It could sometimes lead to two people haphazardly connecting, but ideally it should be serendipity, like it wasn't actually on anybody's mind to begin with, and noone really … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 15/11/25 09:09 AM |
| 2 | The world does not cater to male sexuality.Note how you lumped in "boundaries, consent and respect" there for the conditionally accepted straight men? Because the running assumption is there's problems in those areas unless he's taught differently. But we were talking about validation of sexual identity in order to cultivate self-respect. And yet, this cannot be inspired in straight men unless prefaced by a long ethical discussion on sex somehow? Hell, we can't even talk about straight men and self-pleasure (which involves noone else), w… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 14/11/25 01:01 PM |
| 6 | The world does not cater to male sexuality.Where would they get self respect from? Maybe if the intelligentia could infer some self-esteem into young men's sexual identities, in the cultural messaging, in sex-ed aso. but no, those androphobic assholes won't be doing that. That is only for women and queer people. These groups receive identity terms, community, positive representation and celebratory narratives. Regardless if they have an active sex life or not. Straight young men receive: punchlines, slurs, stereotypes and pathology (an e… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 14/11/25 11:39 AM |
| 0 | The world does not cater to male sexuality.For me the key difference is seen in the cultural mainstream. First of all, it was actually curated from sexual content until recently. It shouldn't be confused with either porn (predominantly appeals to men), or sexy novels from female pov (that appeals more to women). Both of these phenomena were around longer, but that was just market forces, and it was all shoved firmly into the cultural underground. What's happened in the mainstream arts and institutions though is that it has invited and st… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 14/11/25 09:35 AM |
| 2 | Women either can't tell the difference between good men and bad men or men are just being paranoid/irrational about approaching women. Can't have it both ways.Longwinded but the correct answer is that the one who complains about people not appearing and showing them interest is objectively in the wrong, always. Plus, it's a very entitled mindset, no matter what the "culture" says. It's always the responsibility of the person who wants something, to make it known. Sometimes, for some people, things can just fall in their lap anyway, but it's never a reasonable expectation. EDIT: Sometimes when the unwarranted shaming of men, for not engaging, is really… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 13/11/25 02:13 PM |
| – | Too many men make normal bad experiences their whole personality, and allows it to stunt their growth.Yeah, perhaps it's so, but individually solving that means it's own rebellion, with it's own fallout. Say a man does this, he has an epiphany like "Huh, all these expectations I've had on myself is someone elses" or "The reason I feel unworthy is based on the rules of others, and it's all dumb", then what happens is a personality change which people around him will not approve of. He feels better, more grounded, yes, but he becomes different, and people tend to get pissed off when when men won't… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 13/11/25 09:28 AM |
| – | Women expanded their gender role to include what women traditionally do and what men traditionally do. A lot of men are rejected by society because they dont want to do anythingThat's only a problem if someone acts owed for doing nothing, which yes is a thing which exists, but let's keep the two groups separate alright? A lot of men are very much aware that making the choice to be minimalist, to work less and take it easy, to be careful with their money, yeah they're not going to have that much, and likely won't be attractive either. Many are well aware, and don't complain over that. For instance, there's plenty divorced men who say "That felt like a second job. I'm no… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 12/11/25 04:01 PM |
| 1 | Women expanded their gender role to include what women traditionally do and what men traditionally do. A lot of men are rejected by society because they dont want to do anythingI don't think it's exactly like that. It has more to do with the lack of male in-group solidarity. The difference is that women even when making incredibly different choices, probably wouldn't understand each other on any personal level, they still retain some basic level of respect like "We're still in the same boat/belong to the same collective". Men don't do that thing as much, or at least haven't until recently. You could flip the script but that also tends to mean going to live in a bubble/… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 12/11/25 02:18 PM |
| 2 | Women Don't "Mature" faster than menI wonder if this is a good argument for having boys start school one year later, or that some classes should be gender segregated (with options to switch, for the minority that individually defy the curve). | /r/PurplePillDebate | 12/11/25 01:19 PM |
| 1 | If there's a crisis in masculinity, how long has it been around?Yes, that's kind of how I see it. It's only in the context of personal agreements and contracts were things can be different I don't get to complain about women eschewing femininity unless I have an agreement with a woman that she should uphold something like that (ex. If we agreed earlier to have children together, or whatever). But the same goes for women. Freedom of speech is one thing, but if women complain about a lot of men are too week, unmanly, manchildish etc. it carries zero weight, si… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 12/11/25 12:56 PM |
| 2 | Certain parts of female sexuality give men the ickThere's some truth to that, but it doesn't hold a 100% Because it's also true that porn with literary pretention (litfic porn) is almost completely by and for women. And the minority of published men who write this stuff, they all write queer/gay stories. While it could be argued that the readership for this is narrow, it is certainly not underground. It's part of the establishment and mainstream. And the thing is, no male writer would even take the chance, on those platforms, to write erotic st… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 12/11/25 12:15 PM |
| 1 | If there's a crisis in masculinity, how long has it been around?Why do they need to find masculinity in themselves? They could also separate themselves from that entirely, and redefine success completely on their own terms. Meanwhile, who are still "owed" a masculine effort from them? Society? Other people? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 12/11/25 11:35 AM |
| 2 | If there's a crisis in masculinity, how long has it been around?Maybe there is. There's masculine immutable characteristics (physicality), and the men who don't have them aren't happy with it. More so that they seem to be disregarded as dateworthy rather than them getting smack talked by other men, mind. The other things are more activity-based, the actually male-coded adulting skills. Men want to do these if either, it leads to sex or, it gives some kind of surpreme status. Protect, provide, certain kind of leadership etc etc. A lot of men lay that down due… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 11/11/25 04:24 PM |
| 3 | We live in a world where women think their farts don't stinkI've seen some videos. Very rarely, you might see something akin to accountability and then feel something like sympathy. But for the most part, it's extremely off-putting. In case there's men out there who complain that women don't want them when they are wounded and desperate, they should really look at a few of these videos. It really is a universal repellent that "hurt animal" reaction, lashing out, blaming others and not wanting to be responsible for ones own choices. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 11/11/25 10:27 AM |
| 2 | We live in a world where women think their farts don't stinkBut Cognitive Behavioral Therapy can be pretty good. It doesn't solve all problems, doesn't even attempt to, but it gives you some tools. It doesn't go far but it actually goes somewhere. And it's not a grift, because they never aim to hold you there indefinately. My therapist said she foresaw 10 sessions, no more no less, where I commit to the exercises. And that's precisely what we did. For men, can recommend. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 11/11/25 09:17 AM |
| 2 | Men are never going to believe that virgin men are not respected as long as they are told not to mention itDepends how well you know each other, but if you don't, yes always. Looking aside this particular issue, it's almost always the same thing. Instill safety, by a whole arsenal of little micro behaviors which you wouldn't need to show most men. As a married man I honestly don't have the patience anymore. I might be missing out on some good friendships now, but I feel I can't be bothered with that long segue anymore proving "I'm safe, but I'm interested in knowing you". I have a blanket neutral/imp… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 11/11/25 09:08 AM |
| 1 | We live in a world where women think their farts don't stinkProtip, just self-identify as queer or bi even though it hardly applies to you at all. Then your incessant wanking transforms into a frame of magical and heroic self-discovery. And there's an intelligentia who considers it high art with erotic litfic novels (fancy porn), which they rain awards over. Or maybe we should stick to our guns, be ourselves and just alienate the mainstream shit. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 11/11/25 07:29 AM |
| 5 | We live in a world where women think their farts don't stinkI think everyone who says "Haha, you write an angry post about how much you don't care" are wilfully missing the point. I would say sometimes modern day pro-women people, usually younger, tend to have a more realistic and individualist view. They tend to challenge this narrative more. The feminism of boomer/GenX-styled mainstream media has been absolutely cancerous when it comes to feeding these delusions, and it has had serious consequences for society. Luckily, more women now are waking up fro… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 11/11/25 07:19 AM |
| 5 | We live in a world where women think their farts don't stinkHow come there's so many of those nowadays? Don't people stop and think there's a little bit embarassing to video-journal your crying for an internet audience? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 11/11/25 07:00 AM |
| 2 | Men are never going to believe that virgin men are not respected as long as they are told not to mention itThey can, but there's a number of rules here. Do not say the word "virginity". That's a sexual detail. Too direct. Instead say "No relationship experience". Let them say it first, which they probably might, in a follow up question. You need to drop it in a way so that the other person doesn't feel an underhanded "and it would really be great if you could help me out with that. Be light and funny about it. "Yeah life is weird huh?". It's 2025. All communities are dead and nobody does any emotiona… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 11/11/25 06:52 AM |
| 1 | The idea that older men dating younger women are losers - is a woman's revenge fantasy.That's completely fucked. Why are people doing that? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 10/11/25 08:46 PM |
| 1 | For men, it isn't truly about sex.I think this is a bit too pessimistic.. and I think the reason for that is that we are sitting on the front row where all the panicking sexless men appear. A shift is already happening. Men stay single and virgins much longer, and I'm willing to bet a lot of social shame around that has actually lifted, among men. One tell tale sign is how mainstream media, as well as various so-called progressive camps have upped the ante on the virgin shaming. It's a slow-burn shift. The absolute funniest one … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 10/11/25 07:27 PM |
| 2 | It is entirely possible that humanity NEEDS "losers".I didn't expect that no. I was also with someone who was also out of step with societal standards. I did however encounter a few people who were definitely not "subcultural" in the same vein... who looked at me and wanted....that, to a baffling degree! Those are some very funny stories btw! Anyway, I see it as temporary, the separation thing. Sooner or later you reintegrate, I have, but that doesn't mean you start living by, or more importantly, compare yourself to mainstream status markers, sta… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 10/11/25 06:51 PM |
| 13 | When men say they cant be vulnerable, they mean they cant wallow in self pity 24/7 and get pity sex as treatment.Shhh, you're breaking the "narrative" here with all your accurate realistic worldliness. Step inside sometimes and touch floor boards. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 10/11/25 06:19 PM |
| – | Women lie on men all the time and nothing happens to themIf things aren't better in 14 years from now, I will advice my (then) late teenager son to hook up with older women to begin with. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 10/11/25 05:11 PM |
| 1 | When men say they cant be vulnerable, they mean they cant wallow in self pity 24/7 and get pity sex as treatment.Of course. Shit-testing is subtle and innocous. Otherwise you're basically throwing ultimatums (directly or passively) and that turns everyone off. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 10/11/25 04:13 PM |
| 5 | When men say they cant be vulnerable, they mean they cant wallow in self pity 24/7 and get pity sex as treatment.There's no expectation of pity-fucks for wallowing. It's an expectation that the current or future possibility of sex slams shut, in case they do. Sometimes that's a correct assessment, sometimes it's not. With every woman who has masculinity as a primary turn-on, it tends to be true. But far too many say the problem is universal, and I disagree. It's a type that can be avoided. If you're unsure early on, shit test. Sprinkle in some sensitive feel-speak and see how she responds. Or say stuff tha… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 10/11/25 03:33 PM |
| 2 | The idea that older men dating younger women are losers - is a woman's revenge fantasy.I don't think they are quite buying the logic themselves. This is recent. It's rancor on TikTok etc. I already talked at length on this topic in another thread but I pointed out there can be different reasons. Sometimes you're way behind the curve. Career establishment, blank relationship resumé, interests+hobbies which draw in younger (but which fewer 30+ people tolerate) and whatnot. The women your age, on a different stage in life mostly, watch you with extreme scepticism. Meanwhile, you find… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 10/11/25 03:12 PM |
| – | why am I blocked by every single guy? 20FIn the recent past, what you are doing may have worked. You might've find someone who'd go "Ok, there's some problems here, but she may grow. I'm lonely and I'm willing to give her a chance anyway". Not so now. Men and women both are now very afraid of taking on anything which might prove to be a burden they can't quite forsee. Everyone's scared of their future, and rightly so. Best you can do if you don't want to completely hide what you're dealing with is to say, "I'm struggling with these thi… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 10/11/25 02:33 PM |
| – | The idea that older men dating younger women are losers - is a woman's revenge fantasy.It's a dichotomy. That's to say, a reversal of rules depending on when/if. If a man is searching for that, but not yet found it, he's a major sleazebag. If he did find that, you can't say it the same way. Because that would entirely invalidate the woman and her choices and that's a no-no. She's after all, a young adult, with all that entails. Response: Seethe in silence, but say nothing. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 10/11/25 02:25 PM |
| 2 | It is entirely possible that humanity NEEDS "losers".To separate ones own thinking from mainstream norms. To never run the risk of sinking into an inferiority complex like "Wait, maybe I should be doing what everyone else is doing (though I can't)". It's all about making a clean separation. It doesn't in any way mean you should behave antisocially. That only puts you in trouble. Example: In my 30's I rejected the mainstream norms, the normal life trajectories, and whatever the hell my age peers were doing. I wasn't going to play catch-up with them… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 10/11/25 12:57 PM |
| – | Empathy and coddling are not the same thing.You're becoming more and more transparent. We already established that your selective, so-called empathy for men's issues is only political strategic. I wager your support of SA victim men etc. comes with "feminism has the answer, my guy". Like in the end it's really about how many souls you can mold into pro-feminism, isn't it? And now you admit that the tactic otherwise is about shaming and raising firewalls, shutting the "deplorables" out. I honestly don't think I can stomach writing anymore … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 10/11/25 12:03 PM |
| 12 | Not undrestanding the importance of mutual desire in relationships is an autism issueIt is an autistic issue to have that defense mechanism where they go into a machine-like analytic mode yes, but mostly so because the actual reality of their situation is grim dark. A guy with medium levels of autism has two options. Either find a syndrome support group where he might befriend a woman with syndromes of her own, but chances are slim. Most of them want NT men anyway. The only other real option then is masking. They need acting skill to hide all their autistic traits from you, but … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 10/11/25 11:33 AM |
| – | Empathy and coddling are not the same thing.How significant do you think pill-groups are, that they really tip the scales of elections? You realise that you're outing yourself now? This and the last post of yours are actually about social politics, not empathy. Anyway, aren't the significant drivers rather a conflict between inland vs coast, and Christian conservatives vs. Cosmopolitan liberals? (Idk. I'm not American) Yet there is something here.. Lately, feminism and woke has switched gears due to backlash. Right now, they pry straight … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 10/11/25 10:54 AM |
| – | Empathy and coddling are not the same thing.Considering how this whole thing started as "Sexless men deserve no empathy", I have to wonder, how many such men do you even encounter? It tends to be the kind of thing people withhold hardcore out of shame, telling noone, except anonymously online. And online it's a lot of it, but so what? If you feel personally disgusted, consider it a "luxury problem" fine, but why do you see the need to tell these people off? And as for empathy, it doesn't matter much online, but empathetic words can still … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 10/11/25 07:36 AM |
| 5 | The primary way to fix a good portion of dating issues in the next 30 years is to increase public transportation, third spaces, decrease cost of production and increase wages.I like it. What you suggest doesn't do everything but this is something I think should be political reality. Not that politics can fix all of it, but it's at least something. I'm going to add a few things. - Therapy outreach. Maybe ads with images of peoole glued to their phones. "Life passes you by. Get Help (contact information" House share arrangements should become the norm. I did that thing for decades. It brings social life to your door. Even for those who tend to hole up in their room any… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 10/11/25 07:09 AM |
| – | Women do care about men’s issues….. when it’s not sex related.Because there's two evil religions who's adepts are powerful enough, in different ways, to make life miserable for us all real fast. If we take away their favorite pass time of carving in baby flesh, all hell breaks lose. But screw it, let's ban it outright and have a war of civilizations then. It might even be a hill worth dying on. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 09/11/25 10:53 PM |
| – | Women do care about men’s issues….. when it’s not sex related.That fits! Or, if I don't want to pay taxes for hearing my gender routinely slandered on public broadcast (I'm not American), and I also link such things to men's mental unhealth, that this messaging is allowed to go on and on, year after year. Conversely, the same media routinely tailor things for women to feel good about themselves for, which probably often adds a small pep in their day. Yeah, the sympathy train comes to a screeching halt when I mention that one. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 09/11/25 09:50 PM |
| – | Women do care about men’s issues….. when it’s not sex related.Move the boys (and girls) who can't shut up to a separate class with sterner discipline so that they cease to bother the normal majority. But we don't do that because it's "discriminatory" and then we're no longer a "school for everyone" (and other such socialist platitudes). Seriously, looking back, just segregating out 3 kids from my class would have made a world of difference. They really had no business being there. But instead we do the cowardly thing, blame boys as a collective, when it's … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 09/11/25 09:26 PM |
| 4 | The manosphere will gloat about men having traits that they themselves don’t even possess.Weird made up expression, but if there's a hotbed that fits the bill, it's England. They are seriously pushing for a system were women exclusively should be excempt from prison sentences. It's really some myopic next-level degeneracy. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 09/11/25 03:30 PM |
| 1 | The manosphere will gloat about men having traits that they themselves don’t even possess.Yeah, I know what you're talking about. People don't get to flip flop back and forth from king to helpless. It's a bad look. But the same goes for when media says things like "It's a great day for women" because a woman managed to reach a particularly high position. Like no, that was her victory, and you watched. Same goes of course for men trying to ride on the victories of historical figures. It's weakness trying to do that. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 09/11/25 01:47 PM |
| 1 | The manosphere will gloat about men having traits that they themselves don’t even possess.I'll say it again. As a man, embrace true stoicism, and never accept life in a frame of victimhood. Embrace hyperagency, in the sense of ultimately considering everything theoretically within reach, and failing to achieve is your own doing. It doesn't mean you should hate yourself for fucking up, but you know that everything is on you to fix. Also goes the other way. All your victories are yours, and people who claim it's due to privilege are liars. I apply it in my own life. It's masculinity. I… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 09/11/25 01:38 PM |
| 2 | Men should always do the bear minimumYeah except... You could be doing that for values, and that gives you license to consider yourself better than people who fall short of said values. Don't be a servile nice guy who goes above and beyond in effort and consideration that others can't seem to muster, or give back to you. Do those things with zeal, moralism and demagoguery. That's a power position, and if you want to land the relationship with the best type of person, someone who also lives by example, it at least puts you on the ri… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 09/11/25 01:31 PM |
| 3 | Do you believe your life holds value simply because you exist?I believe in intrinsic value. If I hear that someone I went to school with when I was a kid is now dead, that hits me. Doesn't matter if it's someone I never really knew nor have seen for +30 years. I'll still sit there and rack my brain trying to conjure up memories. That proves it to me. We all matter. We are all connected. But to society, that cultural shared pattern everyone falls into, especially with people we don't know very well, that can all go fuck itself. Because it's completely instr… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 09/11/25 01:25 PM |
| 3 | What's the reason behind this wave of extreme hatred against men on social media by feminists and women in general?Yeah, the anglosphere culture around relationships seems to have a lot of that. I'm Swedish and it's different here. Feminism didn't have any bastard child with Victorianism here per se, nor with any equivalent bourgeois culture which managed to strongly shape culture. It's peasant -> modernist socialism mainly. But of course some people who aren't intelligent or resolute enough to stave off American pop-culture influence, they might try to emulate the same. It gets embarassing though with a Swe… | /r/MensRights | 09/11/25 11:42 AM |
| 26 | What's the reason behind this wave of extreme hatred against men on social media by feminists and women in general?The messages are toxic, but there's a borderline perverse little joy in looking past what's being said and drink in these women's bewilderment and (much deserved) pain. A person who thinks the world should cater to them then throws a tantrum as they discover it doesn't, they deserve a little crash, and the pointing fingers that go with. | /r/MensRights | 08/11/25 03:24 PM |
| 1 | The narrative that dating success is a matter of 'self-improvement' is toxic and misleading.There's a lot I agree with here, but I would say that the real stinker is the whole framing called "self-improvement" What everyone should be saying instead is "become different" and throw out all this value-based horse shit, along with all the moralist shaming that comes with. I frankly became slightly worse (morally speaking) when starting to date more effectively. I started to regard other people as a bit more "Eh, they come and go". A tad more ego. A bit more callous. The thing is, "model-ci… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 08/11/25 10:32 AM |
| 1 | Okay so since men only care about hotness, history, loyalty, horniness, willingness to obey and reliability at home, does that mean I can stop pretending to be a "woman" in the social sense since it's not important ?This question is very hard to understand. Are you asking if you should just "drop the act"? Yes. Because, as a woman you stand less to lose for the fact that women can afford to turn off a majority of men and still get a good match. So get a buzzcut, wear a tank top, and tat your arms if you want. You can "betray" femininity as much as you want and there are still men around who'll love you for it, even when the majority of men might feel "eww". I personally freaking love masculine women. Might … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 07/11/25 06:22 PM |
| 2 | It is entirely possible that humanity NEEDS "losers".Yeah, that may be correct. To be honest, I don't know which concepts I should use. I just think the phrase "men quitting society" sounds wrong. It really does sound like someone driving out a trailer into the sticks to live off the grid. When what I think they mean is that they are turning their back on broader culture, which is definately doable. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 07/11/25 05:07 PM |
| 2 | It is entirely possible that humanity NEEDS "losers".Righto, good thoughts. As for the first one about basic needs. You really need to have at least baseline socialism. Scandinavian model, except, not make the Scandinavian mistake and let that welfare be accessible to people who claim to be asylum seekers. Or you pull in lots of unproductive people that are knowingly parasitical. Since we can't really fix that problem, I think losers need to cohabit more. I myself have for many years had tenants, some of which had very little, work odd little shif… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 07/11/25 04:29 PM |
| 4 | It is entirely possible that humanity NEEDS "losers".I keep society and culture separate, and I said that losers should quit culture specifically. Society and it's infrastructure, you can't quit. And that is something everyone must help to uphold to a degree. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 07/11/25 01:46 PM |
| 1 | Do you guys think most men are ugly/unattractive?Don't men and women both tend to prefer average looking people for long-term relationships? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 07/11/25 01:09 PM |
| 5 | What's even the point for average woman to be in a relationship with average men?I think there'd be less sex to be honest, voluntarily so. If there was a place you could go were it was all but guaranteed, and it wasn't prostitution either, there'd probably be some initial spike for a few months, but then a drop. The anticipation would go away, the sense of accomplishment, working for a difficult goal etc. Sure, sexuality is a force of nature, with men especially, but also for them there's more than just the urges at play. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 07/11/25 12:56 PM |
| 5 | It is entirely possible that humanity NEEDS "losers".I think what you say is economically correct. Full employment for instance is an absolute guarantee to breed inflation. There always has to be a rotation of unemployed people, which hopefully, aren't the same people who just remain poor and unemployed for life. That said, losers still have a freedom others don't. They don't owe the shared culture/community/mainstream jack shit. The way to live as bottom-rung is to reject the broad and shared culture, not see or denote any value in it's rewards o… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 07/11/25 12:03 PM |
| 0 | Why would single and childless women be happier and live longer than married women and those in relationships and those with children?I'm in the inverse situation gender-wise. I do more heavy lifting, both at home and at work, and in raising our son. Wife's got a lot of good things about her, but she's low-energy, incapable in several ways. Yeah, you do get grey hairs faster then. But I'm like, so what? So what if this shaves off a couple of years. At least it's a life that actually means a damn. And also, it's all testament to my strength. Nobody gets to include me in their broad sweeping blanket judgement of men. Another lit… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 07/11/25 10:35 AM |
| 1 | Men will use the “women just hate male sexuality” excuse when criticized displaying for selfish behavior.I see compelling evidence of male sexuality truly being villified in many circumstances, but I'm more, so what? If he listen and absorbs that. That's his fault. Men shouldn't need benevolent social narratives to get by. That's weak, and weakness doesn't suit us. A man should embrace hyperagency in his life. Everything he wants or needs is within reach to get, fix or change, at least in theory. A man must never accept the victim frame, even momentarily. Done right, he just tends to get a lot more… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 07/11/25 08:14 AM |
| 2 | Bisexuality should be considered a privilege rather than a handicapOh damn. That sounds awesome and ideal for a bi lifestyle. Congrats dude! It wouldn't fly in this household. I'm permitted to be a bit physical, sleep next to someone w/o sex, but that's were the line goes. And unlike popular opinion on bi's, I'm not a cheater so.. I have however at times let people think I'd go for them, men and women both, just to get that sweet "attractiveness confirmed", but I stopped. Unfortunately I've developed some of that ugh, 'compassion', and it sucks the fun out of t… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 05/11/25 06:23 PM |
| 2 | Confidence is something you are born withI don't believe in hopeless cases as I think anyone can get there, at least in theory. It's just that sometimes the person is so poorly apt that he needs to almost destroy everything about himself and replace with something new. New life philosophy, a new social persona, different values, and forcing himself to remain there until it becomes a habit and sticks, despite great pain. If that's what it takes, it's a very self-destructive act. It's like when really bad criminals turn a leaf. They don'… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 05/11/25 05:16 PM |
| 4 | Confidence is something you are born withAlmost true. There's a cost to it. You also harden. The way to not care about failures is to not let any stakes ride on it in the first place. Then it doesn't matter how many people snub your advances. You think those situations are objectively funny. You effortlessly roll with the punches then. The problems come when someone accepts you. You can't just flip a switch back on and your vulnerable connective self comes running back in, now that it's suddenly appropriate. What was supposed to be a N… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 05/11/25 05:00 PM |
| 2 | Bisexuality should be considered a privilege rather than a handicapYeah exactly. It's not even possible to be offended by that really. Her perversions tend to come off as endearing and adorkable even, if you keep an open mind. As a bi, it's even likely you already understand some of that stuff on a deeper level anyway. Another thing, same type of girls, I've twice seen them get into poly-triads with already established pairs of mostly-gay men. In one of these, there was an amicable split eventually. For all I know, what they had together was fine. She just want… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 05/11/25 02:07 PM |
| 2 | Bisexuality should be considered a privilege rather than a handicapHaha, nice! I'm straight leaning. Got one experience many years back I didn't even consider the actual start of my sex life. Kisses and handjobs barely qualify imo. Sure as hell wasn't something I'd volunteer later when I started dating women though. However, I did figure out that homophobia was not a thing among nerdy animé-obsessed women really. The opposite really. So, going into that relationship, it made no sense to hide it. That's a type of women I can recommend for bi men anyway. They are… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 05/11/25 12:05 PM |
| 2 | Bisexuality should be considered a privilege rather than a handicapFeel like a predator due to that is... strange, but I might understand it in part. There's some opinions many women tend to have in regards to men and this. There's some kind of insistance on "Then it should be special". It's misguided though. If a man sneaks that one by, it's a clear indication that he didn't want the bedroom ceremoniously prepared with a hundred burning candles etc. Odds are he just wanted his virginity thrown away as "unspecially" as possible then. While I do get some women f… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 05/11/25 11:57 AM |
| 4 | Bisexuality should be considered a privilege rather than a handicapThat's fair enough. There are other kinds of people, all sorts of unreasonable, who think they have a right to lots of things up front, without even asking directly. A tangential topic is that some women are appalled when a virgin man "sneaks by", not disclosing he is, until it's done and over with. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 05/11/25 11:19 AM |
| 3 | Bisexuality should be considered a privilege rather than a handicapWould you feel offended if you were with a man and learned about him being bi, after the fact? PS. He didn't lie because he wasn't asked. It was just omitted/not disclosed. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 05/11/25 11:08 AM |
| 0 | Bisexuality should be considered a privilege rather than a handicapSex first. Then tell them about being bi. Not before. Unless you're looking for a life partner, then you lead with that, to get rid of the bigots. Play it like that and it can probably be a privilege, yeah. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 05/11/25 07:04 AM |
| 1 | Men would rather roleplay as sigmas than bother cultivating social bonds.Excuse me? Red pill doesn't deny personality and behavior. That goes into the points tally same as looks, posture, flattering clothes, and so forth. It was you who put into your OP that "they would rather point to society" and I'm pointing out that views on society isn't related to this. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 04/11/25 10:43 PM |
| 1 | Men would rather roleplay as sigmas than bother cultivating social bonds.Yeah ok. It's dead easy. These guys have to learn to project a better social self. That's all. The first and second rule really. Be attractive, don't be unattractive. Works for both getting dates and establishing friend circles. He doesn't need to change any opinions though. Just need to know when and with whom he can say what he actually thinks. Which again is a social skill. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 04/11/25 09:28 PM |
| 1 | Men would rather roleplay as sigmas than bother cultivating social bonds.It's not either/or. It's possible he's full of shit, but society is ALSO full of shit, and he sees the latter thing clearly at least. This post seems like one of those "society good/reclusive men bad" type of sells. At least implied. Well, I can't read any mainstream media for long before wanting to strangle someone due to the incessant lying. There's not much now that qualifies as broad culture I suppose, but that which still is, it's nearly always collosally dumb. But us men, we don't tend to … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 04/11/25 09:11 PM |
| 1 | for people that were late bloomers in dating, is it normal or just common to have envy/resentment towards people who got to date and have relationships before they did or just people who got to date, have relationships around the typical societal norm of when people have their first relationship?Envy, no. Not at all. It would be a normal thing to feel given the situation, but I am not normal so... It's got nothing to do with moral character, life philosophy or anything like that. I'm fundamentally incapable of comparing myself to other people, which come to think of it, was probably a strong reason for the difficulties I had. But then you just can't get jealous either. Culture and norms? That's another thing. I didn't feel the pressure from it because again, I couldn't relate. Which aga… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 04/11/25 08:50 PM |
| 4 | Male Loneliness Epidemic is a societal problem.My first thought is to scrap the term "Male Loneliness Epidemic". Call it "Universal Loneliness Epidemic" even if men are more affected. It's the only way to get political traction. Plus, I think it's fair to do even for others who are hit. Not all women have close relations either. These are currently invisible in the discussion. This is very strategic. Even if affected men would be primary beneficiary of any measures we plan, just a small name change may make the difference for if this'll be s… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 31/10/25 12:51 PM |
| 2 | Women are vocal when an allegation comes out but go silent when it’s proven falseUntrue. Many men react very strongly in regards to appallling crimes against women and children. We want to righteously condemn the guilty. This means third-strike rules, draconic sentencing and deportations (when applicable), but guess who always get in our way? Women, and the parties women predominantly favor. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 31/10/25 08:48 AM |
| 0 | Red Pill advice surrounding the Male Loneliness Epidemic is confusing and badI suppose some do, but it doesn't victimize or even affect women in the slightest. So why there are so many women getting up in arms over this topic, I'm sure I don't understand. Maybe it's a "How dare you fail when my political ideology has decided you are = evil ruling class". Idk. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 30/10/25 02:53 PM |
| 1 | What piss you or please you the most about dating and male-female dynamics?Yeah, hate that. I went on a language trip when I was 17. Small town in France, Catholic countryside. It was extremely that, to the point where you just think, it's not even worth it lol | /r/PurplePillDebate | 30/10/25 12:28 PM |
| 2 | People dont like men with victim complexes and men should stop wanting society to coddle them.Many attested to be significantly helped by the 10 rules book. But it was from the "wrong" source apparently, and then it would've been better that these men wouldn't have read it in the first place? Such ideological BS. Did it ever occur to you that maybe men who're struggling are more helped by someone a bit authorative? Someone who stakes a couple of bold claims on objective truth? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 30/10/25 11:00 AM |
| 1 | People dont like men with victim complexes and men should stop wanting society to coddle them.There's many other sentenced people where it's more suitable to push the abolishment agenda. Just pick another. To choose this one would be as stupid as when Amnesty got up in arms about a woman who'd been granted eye-for-an-eye. Her face had been destroyed by acid and she was given permission to do the same to her aggressor. In a country where you can probably pick a daily case of human rights violation against women, they pick that one. Instead of doing the tasteful thing and let it slide. Lik… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 30/10/25 10:54 AM |
| 3 | People dont like men with victim complexes and men should stop wanting society to coddle them.I guess you have a point about your side/my side, but remember one thing. If there's so much as a peep in protest from a lefist if Tyler (Kirks shooter) gets sentenced to death, then that leftist truly exposes their hypocrisy. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 29/10/25 08:18 PM |
| 2 | People dont like men with victim complexes and men should stop wanting society to coddle them.As a counter-weight, think of all the men who successfully lifted themselves out of their funk too. For instance, a lot of hurting young men are doing much better for applying advice from Jordan B Petersen. Ain't that some good news Lilith? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 29/10/25 07:24 PM |
| – | In the case of being rejected by bad women, do you find "he dodged a bullet" sensible or would you still say he's better off being hit by the bullet?Anyone who's rejected you goes immediately to the pile labelled "Irrelevant and Forgotten" Whether you then dodged a bullet or missed out becomes completely arbitrary. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 29/10/25 06:42 PM |
| 2 | If you lack options for ltr as a male you aren't avgFair point. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 29/10/25 06:34 PM |
| 8 | What piss you or please you the most about dating and male-female dynamics?What I don't like at all is classic masc/fem dynamics among straights and those things being erotisized. I'm scandinavian and these are some incredibly collectivist cultures, not primarily egalitarian or emancipated per se. That's a common mistake. It's collectivism and it also has got some incredible negatives too it, but nvm. Anyway, this breed of collectivism has effaced or minimized many difference in gender presentation. Sure, it matters sometimes but it's generally kicked down a few levels… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 29/10/25 01:43 PM |
| -3 | If you lack options for ltr as a male you aren't avgYeah that tracks. Some uggos don't know their place and when it's time to cash out. They get it once, they perk up like a flower after drought. Then the delusion that they want to confirm their womanizing skills, and that's mainly what it's about. Not desire run wild or anything like that. There's an ethical equivalent in swingers, I suppose. I haven't met many. Possibly four and yeah, they weren't pretty. None of them were. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 29/10/25 12:14 PM |
| 1 | The individualistic culture in the west is why dating is very bad.Well yes, it's bleak, but this sub seems to be focusing on the negatives like a laser and then condense it in a cold hard truth. I see a different breed growing up. Some of those are very interesting to watch. Teenage rebellion has always been a thing. They generally don't want to do the same as generations before them. What I've seen, and what has baffled me is people in just their early 20's talk of marriage. And they've taken the lessons of emotional intelligence etc. from the liberals, yet p… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 29/10/25 09:33 AM |
| – | Not everyone needs to play the field, but everyone must have a "young" romance first.There's a difference between fantasy/porn and what people actually want doing sometimes. This fantasy entails, not only the situation but reimagining oneself as someone who fits into that situation. When it's like that, and I bet it is in this case, the actual offer doing just that for real, would actually make the person shriek and run in the other direction. There's another broadly popular women's porn book now called Milking Farm (look it up if you dare). Where the woman fucks a freaking mino… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 29/10/25 07:18 AM |
| 1 | It doesn't matter. Everything always leads back to it being men fault.Yeah, I did. Like I said CBT. It's actionable, makes you more rational, structured. It establishes good habits and helps you curb the bad ones, practical as well as mental. You have to commit to the exercises though, or it fails. Talk therapy I wasn't impressed by in the least. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 28/10/25 11:13 PM |
| 1 | men and women are exactly the sameIt's not true at all but I guess, all gender theories fail anyway. There's too much individual spread for that to work. You can't pin it down. The neuro scientists can't, the gender studies departments sure as hell can't. It's just crude approximations. But this is a generalization that at least helps when you are out and about. You can't, as an alternative, holistically meet everyone in perfectly tailored individual ways anyway. You need some generalizations. Assuming we're all the same often f… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 28/10/25 10:00 PM |
| 1 | It doesn't matter. Everything always leads back to it being men fault.Because most mental health doesn't even work on men. It's predominantly tailored and marketed to it's main customer, women. Talk therapy is a bust at least. CBT I can recommend though. It seems way more in tune with how most men really are. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 28/10/25 09:50 PM |
| 1 | Not everyone needs to play the field, but everyone must have a "young" romance first.It is stupid because you can't look into the head of such a person and see what deterred them from dating for so long, whether that issue still remains or if it's gone. It's a classic correlation/causality thinking error. You never mentioned men chasing younger women? You did. Lot's. You talked about them at length, and the women who date them. Why can't I make an example about a woman knocking on 30 who also was completely dateless up until then? I actually do think it's the same problem, thoug… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 28/10/25 05:22 PM |
| 1 | Not everyone needs to play the field, but everyone must have a "young" romance first.No, I'm talking about a very small sliver of the male population. I don't care why a sizable bunch of older dudes with options, with dating histories, keep chasing young women. Go lecture them why don't you? I don't care about any of that. And FTR, I apply the exact same thinking for the, much fewer, women knocking on 30 with no relationship history. Who for various reasons had a 20's in a kind of stasis. The diff for them though is twofold. They might have it easier finding a same age man who's… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 28/10/25 03:56 PM |
| – | Not everyone needs to play the field, but everyone must have a "young" romance first.Fair actually. But did you spend a few years at least just work, pay bills and indulge? That amounts to the precise same thing in my book. I never said the same relationship couldn't evolve over time. Where did I say that? Because it's exactly what I did, with the one and same person. If you didn't but decided to very fast go for kids with him, I get it. The window of fertility is a serious matter, so then you might not have a choice. But I do hope you spent ample enough time together before tha… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 28/10/25 03:22 PM |
| 1 | What do you guys think about extreme age gap relationships?I think that wide of an age gap is very strange. It makes me have immediate doubt but I reserve judgement until I know the specifics of that individual relationship. I've heard women regale past relationships with older men (maybe not THAT old) but say it was a blast for the while it lasted. Just not much of a long-term potential in it always. Then an amicable break up. When you hear that it's very hard to go "No you've been used. Poor victim you." | /r/PurplePillDebate | 28/10/25 01:59 PM |
| -1 | When are men in their primes?Never lol. As a man you are a human doing with no intrinsic value the moment you stop doing. That holds true for anyone except a small impossibly handsome few. Easier to accept that than to think you'll be drawing looks and attention simply by being. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 28/10/25 01:46 PM |
| – | Not everyone needs to play the field, but everyone must have a "young" romance first.No it's not old, but those women are notoriously often at a different life stage, with a life experience you cannot match. Compared to a guy who's starting off much later. She's not going to want anything to do with him. The actual match is a woman around 30 who's life also stalled, who also didn't date and fell behind. That would be ideal, perfect even, but probably near impossible to find. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 28/10/25 01:43 PM |
| – | Not everyone needs to play the field, but everyone must have a "young" romance first.Right but 27-32 isn't even old yet. Unless you hit 30 like a brick wall, this doesn't quite matter. Not if whatever deterred you from dating right is also solved and gone. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 28/10/25 12:56 PM |
| 1 | Not everyone needs to play the field, but everyone must have a "young" romance first.Where do you get off on telling people who can be with who? If you would happen to call yourself liberal, please stop doing so, lol. The shoes don't fit. "Usually the guy who couldn't attain normal life milestones has some sort of a defect" It's likely true that there is a cause, but that cause can be gone. Someone solving a problem in therapy, maybe had an epiphany etc. Solving that doesn't immediately drop someone in his lap though, he may be primed and ready, shooting shots but just not lucke… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 28/10/25 11:53 AM |
| 2 | Guys should become FeminineYou got it wrong my friend. You don't automatically assume feminine virtues by practicing anti-masculinity. Some of the masc/fem characteristics are physical or presentation, but others are actually just adulting skills, somewhat arbitrarily coded as masc and fem. But the real polarity is between being a little boy or girl vs. man or woman. See what I mean? What I might agree with though is that men might benefit from adopting some feminine flair sometimes, learn hosting and care skills that are… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 28/10/25 10:08 AM |
| 1 | Not everyone needs to play the field, but everyone must have a "young" romance first.Of course. What you describe is a healthy progression. My worry is inexperienced and late people who immediately jump into a situation too responsibility-demanding, and far too much involved, just because they got a late start and may suffer from "beggars can't be choosers". That is very likely to end in pain. Everyone needs to approach this gradually, starting off. There's also the matter of how some of the late bloomers want to do the fun stuff with a girlfriend finally (if they didn't in thei… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 28/10/25 08:54 AM |
| 1 | Not everyone needs to play the field, but everyone must have a "young" romance first.Thanks for writing all that. What I would like to circle most however is in your previous post "We just got a house this year. We still travel, play video games, and just enjoy each other's company." This right here is what I'm talking about, and this is where the emphasis should be for that first relationship. If it lasts, you can take on more "trappings" a few years later, let it shift. I've talked about family a lot so I reiterate again, you don't walk straight into that from nothing. Whether… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 28/10/25 07:21 AM |
| 1 | Dating apps need to be regulated!I don't know. It was just a opinion. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 28/10/25 05:17 AM |
| 1 | Not everyone needs to play the field, but everyone must have a "young" romance first.Longest is my current. I've been married for 5 years. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 28/10/25 05:16 AM |
| – | The only one who is following patriarchy are women not men and it has devastating effects on datingIt's crazy enough it could work. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 27/10/25 10:02 PM |
| 7 | Dating apps need to be regulated!Pull the plug. Make it go dark. Let culture realign itself. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 27/10/25 08:58 PM |
| – | The only one who is following patriarchy are women not men and it has devastating effects on datingIn this day and age. Both must work. A lot. And those who don't do, don't economically qualify for raising families. That's like an elite project now. Typically the stay at home partner at least works half time. It's stretched super thin. IOW. Yeah, I agree. I sometimes wonder if most people here look at upper-middle class setting as the norm, in spite of that being a dwindling position, which fewer and fewer can even attain. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 27/10/25 08:45 PM |
| – | The only one who is following patriarchy are women not men and it has devastating effects on datingIf gendered expectations sicken you, there's something you can do. It will reduce the times you'll get lucky, but you'll get to keep your self-respect aaand, you will get to have a different type of fun than sex, which maybe isn't up to par, but still something. You ready? Present yourself as a bisexual! (Though if you're 100% straight, don't lie. Say something like that you thing Ryan Reynolds is really cute, and make them assume instead. Just drop a hint) It's the ultimate shit test. Exactly e… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 27/10/25 08:36 PM |
| – | The only one who is following patriarchy are women not men and it has devastating effects on datingAnd also TikTok has a tampered algorithm which bumps rage-engagement. It's a Chinese psyop designed to spread discord. Whereas the TikTok in China is tweaked to bump uplifting content. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 27/10/25 08:21 PM |
| – | The only one who is following patriarchy are women not men and it has devastating effects on datingI've seen that. Sometimes at parties I've been to there's been outspoken feminists as well as their hubbies. Anemic looking guys with complicated allergies and no posture, but yes nice and mild-mannered men, surely. So some apparently live as they learn huh. I'm really curious about those relationships though. Do they feel strongly attracted to one another, or do they primarily enjoy their ideological alignment, having good talks and that stuff? Not trying to be glib. It's just interesting. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 27/10/25 08:17 PM |
| 1 | Don't Take The Personality Pill.I'm not sure about what personality pill means. If it is about to trying to collect Good Boy points and try to assume and emulate everything people consider laudable then yeah, I think that fails. But if by Personality Pill you mean to foster originality, I could see that working. Not in online dating probably though. If you're a menacing looking dude, look like a biker, but it turns out you work in a kindergarten. Then you're instantly the most interesting person in the room. If you look like a… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 27/10/25 07:48 PM |
| 1 | Not everyone needs to play the field, but everyone must have a "young" romance first.The ethical thing to do would be to be clear saying you just want to feel things through and keep things light for the time being. Not lock down a bunch of life goals and put them on a time plan. Question, how would anyone know that their only choice is someone who offers a bad fit? Isn't it rather that if you got one person interested in you (but sadly wasn't aligned in terms of wants), you can definitely make that happen again with someone better suited? If you appeared on one person's radar. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 27/10/25 07:25 PM |
| 1 | Not everyone needs to play the field, but everyone must have a "young" romance first.Or arranged marriages of teenagers, for that matter. Can you even imagine? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 27/10/25 07:17 PM |
| 1 | Not everyone needs to play the field, but everyone must have a "young" romance first.Nah, she was absolutely stupid. To instantly throw out a nice connection and built rapport because of one single data point. And then not even being able to verbalise what the problem was when gently asked. It said everything really. No skin off my back. I'd never do that myself. So clearly I'm the better man. But I guess I should've subjected myself to that thing over and over again instead of just y'know, get along with those I could level with. For moral reasons! Haha. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 27/10/25 07:14 PM |
| 2 | Not everyone needs to play the field, but everyone must have a "young" romance first.I believe that because apparently I could, and if I could, so could others. At least a few commenters say they've observed that very thing. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 27/10/25 06:45 PM |
| 1 | Not everyone needs to play the field, but everyone must have a "young" romance first.I don't deny that but my answer is.. Yes, and? I found it a lot easier to date down in age due to that very thing. More life experience became a nice buffer to the lack of relationship experience for sure. And, this is something I can't swear by due to lack of any ample sampling size but it seemed the younger ones were a lot nicer about it. The only one my own age turned stone cold when I mentioned I hadn't dated and thus wouldn't really know what I'm looking for. (I mean you have to announce th… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 27/10/25 06:40 PM |
| 2 | Not everyone needs to play the field, but everyone must have a "young" romance first.Yeah, that's exactly the problem. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 27/10/25 05:48 PM |
| 1 | Not everyone needs to play the field, but everyone must have a "young" romance first.Hey, I WAS in that situation at the age of 28 One of the things I did was to stare deep and hard into the abyss of remaining the same for the rest of my life. Really sit with the existential horror of it. This until I came out the other end. Then you make different life plans. Some plan Bs My Old virgin self could aspire to instead. Those were some really crazy plans by the way. If you've done that right, you get the feeling that fuck me, some people some situations, you'd steer clear of, even i… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 27/10/25 05:29 PM |
| 1 | Men shouldn't expect women to settle for them in their prime (20's) because men themselves don't have a prime they can give women.You can't expect anything from anyone, ever. And most men fail getting precisely what they want, what else is new? Your statement falls apart if we flip it. "A prime age man should be able to expect a woman in her prime" See how that doesn't work either? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 27/10/25 02:08 PM |
| 1 | Feminism is not bad for women in any way shape or formAnd men who profess to be very invested in feminism tend to sharply drop in attractiveness. The main thing is equality, and it matters. You can (and should) profess being for fair treatment, equal opportunity, the sanctity of bodily autonomy etc. But the moment you start painting it in the typical feminist words, everyone notably get a sort of ick reaction towards you. I've seen men do that, to repulsed reactions of everyone around, even women who do care about some of that. That may be differen… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 27/10/25 01:51 PM |
| 1 | Feminism is not bad for women in any way shape or formThey shouldn't expect that. I agree. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 27/10/25 01:42 PM |
| – | Feminism is not bad for women in any way shape or formNo one has a problem with female hero leads. Or diverse ones. It's feminist messaging and condescension that makes it bomb. Barbie being the only exception but I seriously don't think it was feminism that dragged people into cinemas then. Kill Bill. Not a feminist movie. Hunger games. Class commentary yes, but not feminist movies. Huge hits. Anyway, this is pointless to discuss really. Because the product has to sell first and foremost, and if it doesn't, that's the product's fault. You can't co… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 27/10/25 12:21 PM |
| 4 | Not everyone needs to play the field, but everyone must have a "young" romance first.You are right. You cannot manipulate if you are in that spot. Manipulate = lying, and those lies will get found out. But that's not to say you can't influence things. In this instance, if anything about you is even remotely near "late virgin stereotype", you're dead. But if you can front an immaculate confidence, humor, shamelessness, and lean hard into your weirdness, something strange can happen. You might just represent something enigmatic and new, and that is a sweet spot. It landed me dates… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 27/10/25 12:10 PM |
| – | Feminism is not bad for women in any way shape or formWhy does any of that belong in a popcorn movie? Is that any place to preach? Do you believe that adults need to be bought back to "adulting-school" in entertainment they paid entry for, is the correct venue for it? As for media/news outlets. Shouldn't they be able to weigh different perspectives in an objective manner? Not just cater to one particular bias? It doesn't matter. That train has already crashed and miserabely so. Men aren't paying for that apparently. But I reiterate my point, women … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 27/10/25 11:35 AM |
| 1 | Not everyone needs to play the field, but everyone must have a "young" romance first.Maybe it is. I don't know. I looked very young for my age. I was still being carded for buying alcohol. Is it that? But I was 29. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 27/10/25 11:25 AM |
| – | Feminism is not bad for women in any way shape or formNormal men do hate movies where they villify men, or reserve a spot to preach about toxic masculinity when all you wanted was a brief escape from reality in a movie salon. Normal men do hate what has been done to nostalgic franchises. Even if they aren't in the slightest culpable to the ills being preached against, they don't want to sit there, cast as humble little school boys, just taking it. This checks out in raw data. How male subscription drops from mainstream/established news, box-office … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 27/10/25 10:35 AM |
| 1 | Not everyone needs to play the field, but everyone must have a "young" romance first.I guess that, in a sense is casual sex, isn't it? I didn't think of it like that at all, but rather: A sexual relationship yes, but you can do a number of other things too. Catch shows, go to parties, share a hobby, date activities. You can be exclusive too, just not locked down with trappings or laying down life plans. You can focus on the good times only and see where it goes, if it does go. Yes, I believe the first one needs to be that. I don't know if that = casual sex, but maybe it does? Ot… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 27/10/25 10:27 AM |
| 5 | Feminism is not bad for women in any way shape or formIt's not bad as a personal practice. Like a woman can have healthy scepticism towards relying on, and sometimes, trusting men. She can be aware of power differentials in couple dynamics and all of that. None of that is bad. It's just that men need to hard-supress their own libido and wiring sometimes and practice the exact same thing. Where feminism comes around to cause issues for women though is it's unwarranted strangle hold over culture. In culture, feminism is gross, condescending to men, m… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 27/10/25 09:50 AM |
| – | Do any other men feel exhausted with the constant materialistic treadmill dating imposes on us?You shouldn't be doing that for the sake of dating, because that gives your potential dates an unwarranted hold over your entire life. Only do this if it's primarily about blowing up your own ego, and to cultivate the myth about yourself. To feel "I'm awesome and I know it. Take a look at these Italian threads".... with the side bonus that some women fall for this too. Otherwise, date homely gals. Got one of those geekier hobbies on the side? Are already in a fandom of sorts. Go build rapport wi… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 27/10/25 09:38 AM |
| -4 | Not everyone needs to play the field, but everyone must have a "young" romance first.If so, I debate whether 'never' is actually the healthier option over fast-track marriage, mortgage, quickly try for a family. Or to walk into a step-father situation you're just not equipped to deal with. For that matter. Clean yourself up, become an older woman's toy boy then, whenever she calls on you. That works too but for the love of God, don't jump straight into the most difficult and responsibility-heavy type of relationship there is, as your first. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 27/10/25 09:03 AM |
| 2 | Not everyone needs to play the field, but everyone must have a "young" romance first.Oh I agree with what you say alright. I think you flesh out my arguments perfectly, especially in the last large paragraph. You're right. He better be prepared for some heavy concessions and sacrifices, other ones. This isn't about having it all. It's too late for that anyway. I guess certain women have this fantasy about the previously overlooked guy who's coming into his own later. You're the first to give him love and he just perks up completely (he probably will tbh). But in less than a year… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 27/10/25 08:57 AM |
| 2 | Not everyone needs to play the field, but everyone must have a "young" romance first.I would wager the 30+ late blooming women would do best to also find a breezy type of romance as their first relationship too. If you read carefully what I wrote, you see I'm talking about a specific relationship dynamic primarily. They would have it a lot easier to find similar aged men who'd accept a "let's just enjoy this and see where it goes". There's plenty of men at any age who'd go for that. But same thing applies of course. A guy who would be saying "I had a bunch of flings and now I'd … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 27/10/25 08:20 AM |
| 6 | Not everyone needs to play the field, but everyone must have a "young" romance first.Right, that tracks. And I'm saying you can get through that, but you need to start small. I worry that some of these men accept a relationship with someone at a completely different life stage, turn themselves inside out to make the fit, just because it's the first person who selects them. And they don't think they have any other choice. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 27/10/25 08:12 AM |
| 5 | Not everyone needs to play the field, but everyone must have a "young" romance first.Note that I put "young" in brackets, and what I meant by that was the relationship dynamic: mutual fun-seeking and affection. Not going into a relationship setup straight off the bat which entails a fuckton of responsibility, future planning and so on. It sounds to me you did exactly what I described. You had an fwb at 26. That was it. You met someone else and you married, and from the sound of it, you're retaining that "young" dynamic a while longer. You've gradually made a bigger commitment, g… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 27/10/25 07:58 AM |
| 2 | Not everyone needs to play the field, but everyone must have a "young" romance first.I never bought into this as a deliberate strategy. You want different things at different ages typically. It's very easy to see why that also would be biologic fact. If you're beginning to approach end of fertility and is single, your body will nag you to lock down someone who would make a good father, right? That makes sense from a scecies survival pov. I also don't buy into the idea that most women "still prefer the bad boy". I think they actually do prefer the father-type at that time. But, i… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 27/10/25 07:48 AM |
| 3 | Not everyone needs to play the field, but everyone must have a "young" romance first.I mentioned nothing about sex. I talked about the experience of having a relationship, and here's something you don't know. If you didn't live your life like that up until you are almost 30, you've developed in a very particular way that is very distinct from everyone who did have relationships earlier too. What that is is that it feels incredibly abnormal, stressful even, to have a relatioship in the first place. The reason for this is that exactly all your life habits, over all of your adult l… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 27/10/25 07:37 AM |
| 0 | Men are the slaves of their sexual desire, this imposed sexual desire must be completely eliminatedWhy lie about it? Better to have the attitude that either she doesn't mind then that's interesting, but if she does mind, she should fk right off. Hold it as a golden standard in full self-righteous ness until you no longer are a virgin. Anyone who has a hangup around such a thing that they'd throw someone away in spite of chemistry, feelings and connections established, is gross. I just need to flip the situation in my head and it's perfectly clear. Picture a guy who was totally on until she he… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 26/10/25 10:50 PM |
| -1 | Not everyone needs to play the field, but everyone must have a "young" romance first.Yeah but that's way older men. Late 20s to early 30s isn't even old. Sometimes they don't even look older than early 20 something's. I didn't. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 26/10/25 10:34 PM |
| 5 | Not everyone needs to play the field, but everyone must have a "young" romance first.I don't believe that. I didn't know what type of relationship I was suited for until I went into my first. Did I just want a fwb, go get married, live together or separate, what? It's not possible to really know that until you've been there with someone. You're better off if it starts of low-stakes then, without much expectation except hey, "let's just enjoy it. See where it goes" This is a very normal progression, but yeah some people get there later than others. Does that apply to you? If not,… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 26/10/25 10:31 PM |
| – | Some men never have a sexual primeThis is one of several reasons men like that should practice stoicism. Not just the practice of enduring hardships, but the actual philosophy as well (except for the parts where it claims you can do nothing to change the world) Then such things turn irrelevant. Cultivate strength instead. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 26/10/25 10:00 PM |
| 8 | Not everyone needs to play the field, but everyone must have a "young" romance first.I switched over to career attainment to highlight that there's usually a lot more expectations and assumptions baked in than basic adulting when most people talk about stability in this context. The first paragraph of the post you did just now underlined exactly what I've been saying though. It's more likely that the 22-year old who 'cares less about the long-term qualifications of a partner' is the better choice as a first girlfriend for the late-blooming man than someone same-age looking for t… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 26/10/25 09:38 PM |
| 3 | Men are the slaves of their sexual desire, this imposed sexual desire must be completely eliminatedHah! Oh you think you'd be beyond scrutiny for becoming a medicated neutre? That society would stop maligning you as a man if only you turn "pure" in that sense? Please. Even if that did happen, and there was this program men could opt in for and turn blissfully asexual (I support it though, because why not?), it wouldn't matter. Rest assured that the feminist commentariat would carve out a fresh new angle to make you feel like shit anyway. They'd invent reasons for why thid thing you're doing i… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 26/10/25 09:21 PM |
| 2 | Men are the slaves of their sexual desire, this imposed sexual desire must be completely eliminatedIt was a rather obnoxious internet thing in the beginning but not now. It doesn't mean it went away. A lot of men and women now diplomatically say "I'm not looking to date anyone right now" but they've actually really checked out. This without any grand declarations, without any scathing dressing-down of the other gender. They just quietly left. Sex-having, relationship-forming and child-having statistics bears this out. And yet the internet isn't boiling with commentary from these groups. Just … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 26/10/25 08:44 PM |
| 9 | Not everyone needs to play the field, but everyone must have a "young" romance first.A man who works an unqualified low-paid job, rents a room somewhere, he fits the bill if he economises responsibly. Technically he's stable But I don't think he's considered as even datable by a woman who is at the stage of wanting "stability". Meanwhile his 22 year old coworker might not even care, so long as he can afford to go out with her once in a while. At least that was my experience. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 26/10/25 08:08 PM |
| 3 | Not everyone needs to play the field, but everyone must have a "young" romance first.Is there any actual merit of doing that if he already fits in a lot easier with someone who, may be a bit younger and don't have any plans, or maybe jump in as a toy-boy for someone older (who doesn't need provision, added stability, pooled economy)? I guess what I'm asking is, do you see it as a specific moral duty to play catch-up in this instance? Or can people go with the ones that are an easier match, given their life trajectory? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 26/10/25 07:58 PM |
| 5 | Not everyone needs to play the field, but everyone must have a "young" romance first.Nice! Rock on throughout your 30's. I did and it was great. It made up for my shitty 20's. Why play catch-up and worry about milestones when you could have fun? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 26/10/25 07:52 PM |
| 1 | Not everyone needs to play the field, but everyone must have a "young" romance first.I think it's definitely easier if it's a person who's decided on being child-free. That could work. Undecided women who maybe, maybe not want that, they tend to vet exactly like those who do want the chance to raise a family. Especially at that age. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 26/10/25 07:42 PM |
| 3 | Not everyone needs to play the field, but everyone must have a "young" romance first.Maybe my experience is extremely unusual but it was precisely that. A kind of glow-up, some psychological breakthrough, and then I strangely fit in with a lot of people, though they were younger. I didn't intend my friend groups and subsequent dates to all be approx 6 years younger or so but it just happened. Meanwhile the disconnect with same-age and older people grew larger. I doubt another 28-30 year old would be impressed with someone in a low-paid unqualified job but the younger bunch at wo… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 26/10/25 07:37 PM |
| 5 | Not everyone needs to play the field, but everyone must have a "young" romance first.Doesn't prevent the fact that by their late 20's women vet for men who potentially could make good fathers. Even if they are actually undecided and finally end with a "hmm nah" on the child front. You don't want to close the door completely by choosing someone who obviously cannot be that. It's nothing wrong with this. It's perfectly sound dating strategy that makes all the sense in the world, but a late blooming man is not it. And neither should he try to fashion himself into being that fit as … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 26/10/25 07:19 PM |
| 3 | Not everyone needs to play the field, but everyone must have a "young" romance first.I missed my wizard badge. I was 29 damnit! So close. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 26/10/25 07:12 PM |
| 6 | Not everyone needs to play the field, but everyone must have a "young" romance first.Precisely. I think it's harder, and the question is which same age woman would even have him? When it's so much easier to fall in with people who're actually on your current level. To me it was exactly like that. All colleagues at work, on average 6 years younger. Hobbies and interests, same deal. It was a very easy fit that made sense, both for friends and dating, so why change it right? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 26/10/25 07:10 PM |
| 5 | Not everyone needs to play the field, but everyone must have a "young" romance first.This was the most interesting reply yet. I do think the perception thing matters a lot, but it doesn't exist in isolation. Self-perception is reinforced from stimuli which happens all around. I'll try to give an example. When I was 29, I had personal breakthroughs but my life was still stalling, though I didn't care about anything anymore. No need to plan, chase, play catch up. I worked an unqualified entry-level job which made me a loser, I guess, in the eyes of age peers, but instantly clicked… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 26/10/25 07:05 PM |
| 4 | Not everyone needs to play the field, but everyone must have a "young" romance first.So you're making a direct connection between needing a first low-stakes relationship with the inability to be a responsible adult in general? Uh okay. You know that the baseline adulting just entails work, pay bills, basic health management, and all else is relative? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 26/10/25 06:40 PM |
| 7 | Not everyone needs to play the field, but everyone must have a "young" romance first.I don't refute those claims but I'm looking specifically at the late-bloomer men here and the absolute disconnect between them and peer-age women, which just tends to make relationships unviable. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 26/10/25 06:37 PM |
| 3 | Not everyone needs to play the field, but everyone must have a "young" romance first.So you think it's viable for a man who has very little or even no relationship experience late in the game to step straight into a very committed and settled arrangement, or even a step-father situation? When he don't even know who he is as a relationship person? That's just not realistic. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 26/10/25 06:33 PM |
| 8 | Not everyone needs to play the field, but everyone must have a "young" romance first.I'm not saying that. I say the first relationship needs to be low-stakes and fun, and also that it's an absolutely terrible idea to go from nothing to "as commited as it gets". That's bad, even if he actually do wants children. If he's a late-bloomer, that's the first thing he should consider never having actually. The odds are already terrible in his case. Almost guaranteed failure if he goes there directly when he doesn't even know what sort of relationship person he is. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 26/10/25 04:24 PM |
| 7 | Not everyone needs to play the field, but everyone must have a "young" romance first.For starters, you need to place 'becoming a parent' into the "nice to have" rather than the required section. I got both eventually, but when I was dating I looked at younger women AND older, ruling out everyone who might perhaps want to have children soon. And that's most of your same-age peers basically. Even the undecided ones vet for men who at least might be parent material at that point, so that the option still exist. And you are NOT that man by then. Fashioning yourself out to be one can… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 26/10/25 12:49 PM |
| 1 | Not everyone needs to play the field, but everyone must have a "young" romance first.Right but we already established by now that the specifics of the party-stage doesn't matter. Their version of it can be booking a spa weekend, or dinner and a show. So I interpret it very loosly as a matter of fact. But that's still chasing exhileration and fun together, first and foremost. It makes it more difficult if he wasn't outgoing before, and suddenly DO want to do the clubbing he didn't then. This on top of everything else. Then this match may seem a lot more unlikely. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 26/10/25 12:41 PM |
| 9 | Not everyone needs to play the field, but everyone must have a "young" romance first.Yeah probably. It's more likely the case. But that only makes it more probable he would want to do those things together with someone in his 30's then. He might've gone to some of that in the past but felt constantly out of place, and not entirely "at home" in it. It's even likely. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 26/10/25 12:33 PM |
| 3 | Not everyone needs to play the field, but everyone must have a "young" romance first.Yes, then I think we do agree. One thing is I think people underestimate the family aspect. It's not only the women who know they absolutely do want it and those who know they don't. It's all of the undecided ones. And the undecided ones often in their late 20's start to vet for someone who could be that man anyway. They might eventually conclude they don't want to be mothers after all, but until then she will not want the door firmly closed by going with a man who most probably can't. So it's a… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 26/10/25 12:10 PM |
| 17 | Not everyone needs to play the field, but everyone must have a "young" romance first.I didn't. Although I missed out in my 20's, deprived in many ways, I took it all back in my 30's. She was younger. For 8 years on we did everything we could think of. Money was saved only for the next fun thing. So no, I didn't "suck it up". I didn't attempt a drastic transformation to make myself fit in with someone already on the settling down stage. It swings two ways you see. Likewise I didn't owe it to womankind to grind hard in order to quickly become a man you can raise a family with. Eve… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 26/10/25 11:58 AM |
| 10 | Not everyone needs to play the field, but everyone must have a "young" romance first.You are correct. The man in the example likely didn't even have that outgoing life in his 20's. But if he successfully turns a leaf later, gets the confidence, self-esteem and social fluency, then absolutely yes! He very probably want to do the bar crawls, maybe the festivals he didn't go to etc. together with someone who chases the same experiences. He does not want to go straight into the 'burbs and a life where every hour of the day is measured. And no, he would definitely NOT make any good f… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 26/10/25 11:36 AM |
| 2 | Not everyone needs to play the field, but everyone must have a "young" romance first.Hobbies and interests can change during life. You are focusing on the wrong things here. I said he needs a fun maximizing relationship first, if he didn't have one. It's easier to hold in contrast what isn't a good fit for him then. A good fit isn't to immediately pool economies, get a mortgage together, kick in an extra gear at work, try for having children. Not if he didn't experience any fun low-obligation relationship first which was centered on fun and exhileration. That's btw my life traje… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 26/10/25 11:28 AM |
| 10 | Not everyone needs to play the field, but everyone must have a "young" romance first.I see what you mean but, there was an understated part of my post and I should've circled it more clearly. It's the family building, having children. That absolutely changes everything. And many women in their late 20's early 30's are thinking about that. And if that's what they want, they are absolutely correct to vet accordingly. The biological clock is ticking at that point. Even women who are undecided there tend to vet for a responsible and stable man so that the door at least doesn't close… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 26/10/25 11:18 AM |
| 12 | Not everyone needs to play the field, but everyone must have a "young" romance first.No, but none of that was done in the context of a relationship he always wanted. Someone to share those things with. And even if he would be satisfied with that, more or less, I still strongly suspect he'd be very unhappy going straight into this responsibility-centered mature relationship with someone who, unlike him, actually had the fun and breezy ones. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 26/10/25 11:05 AM |
| 1 | Being a 20+ year old virgin is reasonably seen as a red flag for a potential mate and that is not virgin shamingThe argument fails when you think about it chronologically. You assume there's something wrong with say the 27 year old virgin. Even if there was a problem initially, how do you know it's the same problem throughout 10 years (17 to 27)? The "fact that it hasn't happened yet", is that the proof? I think there's usually a strong fear, inhibition etc. in the beginning in some of these cases. Then some years when they typically focus on other things entirely The present year, if they're actually try… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 15/10/25 08:41 PM |
| 3 | Men should increase thier standards and be ready to be single if they dont get what they want.Can't answer for poorbatman2 but more men than women, I've noted, tend to set up hard rules. It can be about placing everyone labelled friend in a permanent friend container. It can be about pre-rejecting everyone at work with a "Don't date at work" hard rule, no matter who you might potentially come across there, one day. Yeah, I can see how making hard rules strips away any individual exceptions, and it clearly shrinks the possible dating pool but still, there's rationality to it. It makes lif… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 07/10/25 08:59 AM |
| 6 | Seriously, be careful online, boys. 'I have your nudes and everything to ruin your life' - the cyber scammers targeting teenagersLet me take a moment to say, bless the scambaiters! (Those are the people who engage with scammers to waste their time) I don't even care that some of them are undeniably cruel people. The cruelty they sometimes subject scammers to is always just, and not nearly enough of what they actually deserve. I like to see pain inflicted on scammers. My own blanket answer is "You are a thief. You've brought shame over your whole family. Your mother is crying over you". I have never gotten any reply back (… | /r/MensRights | 05/10/25 09:02 PM |
| 2 | Men need to stop being logicalI think some men are more literal minded, and that the brain has a finite capacity of multitasking. The problem with being in "literal thinking mode" is that you get stuck in your own head, but if you learn to silence these thoughts, you free up mental bandwidth for other things. This is tough as nails to change. You need to catch yourself constantly and tell your brain to shut the hell up, because it habitually wants to do what it normally does. Without the overdone thinking, you get a lot more… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 05/10/25 08:31 PM |
| 3 | Why do u claim sëx or datìng doesn't matter when u all are themselves not celibatê ?Finally something other than "Don't obsess over it, and there's so much other things to enjoy in life". You brought up the culture aspect at least. If society puts pressure on them to be something they can't be, they should tell society to go fk itself, as an act of freedom. I absolutely endorse these men (and women for that matter) embrace that subversive freedom of absolutely not having to care about whatever makes a person attractive or to have status. That would naturally have them defect fr… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 05/10/25 08:07 PM |
| 1 | Why do u claim sëx or datìng doesn't matter when u all are themselves not celibatê ?A lot of them sure seem to be when they say "Don't obsess over it. Focus on all the other things that makes life worthwhile." | /r/PurplePillDebate | 05/10/25 07:11 PM |
| -1 | Why do u claim sëx or datìng doesn't matter when u all are themselves not celibatê ?A few times I've seen it happen that men discuss going on antidepressants which carry the side effect of muting out their libido. That naturally stops any obsessing. At those times, I see women here come out and go "Nooo, don't do it". Pretty much the same when there's talk about going to escorts, or for that matter, sex dolls and that kind of simulacra. I want to first underline that I'm married and isn't affected as such, but I wonder why women tend to dismiss or moralize over all the alternat… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 05/10/25 06:27 PM |
| 1 | Would you date a 35 year old woman who is otherwise your looksmatch?I don't want any more kids so that's fine. Some 35 year olds are on that last ditch effort to become mothers before it's too late though. That would be a hard no for me. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 30/09/25 08:07 PM |
| 1 | The effects of Kentucky's 2021-effective (passed 2018) shared parenting bill are being noticed by youtubeIsn't this a huge win for equal rights in parenting for American men? I thought there'd be more cheers in this comment section. Or maybe it's the evidence the drop in divorces presents, that so many of them were about divorce plunder which puts a damper on things? | /r/MensRights | 30/09/25 01:40 PM |
| 6 | It's time for a paradigm shiftMy opinion is that "inch justice" renders everything perversly transactional, when every action and reaction, favor and provision is precisely measured. It also infers capitalist logic at the core of our own relationships. There's only one feminist thinker I actually respect (non-English writer). What sets her apart is that she doesn't in fact ever use feminism as the leading theory. Instead it's economics and class analysis. Her verdict was that only when efforts in relationships are strongly l… | /r/MensRights | 30/09/25 07:22 AM |
| 3 | did all of your partners grow on you?I think that's very normal. For a lot of people there's a lot of tension and nerves clouding the vision. You can't quite see each other clearly, until there's been some sex. A lot of nervousness may dissapiate then. It may be easier to see then, if you actually fit together? It may even be easier to have the conversation that you aren't exactly feeling it, if so be. I think too many people are much too caught up on sex and numbers here. Not everyone's a reckless thrill seeker. Some are just "pra… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 29/09/25 01:44 PM |
| 0 | Would it be better for more men to drop out of society?And the gender representation in mainstream media production matters how? If these men perpetuate hostile, oversimplified, condescending and mean-spirited portraits of the male characters they produce, what difference does it make that they are men(debatably) writing? And that happens ALL the time. A woman can actually write and produce fiction, which lo and behold! doesn't insult the shit out of men. I remember the series True Blood. A very horny and "female gazy" series but at least it didn't … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 29/09/25 09:20 AM |
| 3 | Double standards in porn consumptionWord! Here's something OT to the discussion but I want to tell it all the same. The only place to go for a man who wants to see heterosexual male desires celebrated and valued AND from a straight male character's POV, is the written stuff. And that written stuff is very often created by women. It's only ever found in amateur online works, fanfiction in particular. Everything published, all awarded litfic stuff that deals with eroticism is today gynocentric to the extreme. There's nothing for men… | /r/MensRights | 29/09/25 09:07 AM |
| 2 | Women don't regret because you got better but you treat better.You're right, of course, but there's another aspect too, a cultural one. The woman who regretted her choice will find mainstream media articles, books, maybe even plays about pains similar to hers. It will speak to her and say "Yes, how terrible! Poor you. We all feel sorry for you and wish you the best". This goes for each and every female grief really. The women who regret how they didn't have children, the ones who regret how they DID. Those who had too much sex with the wrong people, and tho… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 28/09/25 10:45 PM |
| 1 | Would it be better for more men to drop out of society?Do you think it's fair that men who quit predictable life choices and stop trying to fit in typical community of being evil? Many subcultures started that way and that was the initial response almost all of them met. music scenes, gaming, role playing and many, many more. (Luckily, those men didn't give a shit about being villified. They expected it.) As soon as it turns out to be beneficial or marketable though, polite society quickly and hypocritically changed their tune. Now though, women dom… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 27/09/25 09:47 PM |
| 1 | Would it be better for more men to drop out of society?It's a liberal choice to leave. It's not very liberal to compel people to change for you. I'm glad you worded it "men who adapted" and didn't spill any of that self-improvement farce people got going though. They call adaptation = improvement and that's value based. What it is though is adaptation, learning to become something other than what you are. Different. All in all, it's a choice. People need to make their own. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 27/09/25 08:34 PM |
| 3 | Would it be better for more men to drop out of society?You can't drop out of society. It'd be good to change this wording. Because you live somewhere yes? You pay your bills yes? In order to do that, you work someplace. Of course. Integrated in society. What it really is though is men dropping out of culture. Things that mainstream attuned people value, what they consume, the status economies they think everyone should buy into. Hypocritical values which say liberalism for women, meritocracy for men etc. That has no value for the man who has truly d… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 27/09/25 08:23 PM |
| 1 | Have you had sexual thoughts of other people whilst in a committed relationship? Do you think it’s ok to entertain these thoughts?Same! More guys should get off usual porn and on that shit instead. I even suspect that it's healthy. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 26/09/25 08:00 PM |
| – | Mgtow and PatriarchyI'm not saying it should matter to independent men at all. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 26/09/25 07:32 PM |
| 10 | "Women make it obvious if they're into you" they don't lolLol yeah. I held a big party once, maybe 40 guests, a gathering of people in my hobby groups. I was hell of busy most of the time but there was this woman I don't know too well. Throughout the weekend, she was always nearby. I figured that may have been it, at least in hindsight, but it wouldn't have mattered anyway since I was not in the market. Even if I would've seen it, it's not like I have any responsibility addressing it. Not when it's understated like that. It was very practical though, a… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 26/09/25 11:38 AM |
| – | Mgtow and PatriarchyI'm not going to argue against it, but I don't think it would make women happier with men in the long run. It'll try to explain. First off, the idea that men don't disentangle themselves from norms and expectations (unless they carry a sociology degree with a minor in gender studies and have said 1000 mea culpas for systemic gender oppression), that's a feminist lie. The truth is that men transgress norms plenty, but they do it in a very specific way typically. That way is the unsocial way. It m… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 26/09/25 11:04 AM |
| 2 | Feminism or misandryThe one about not speaking to nor acknowledging any men, is that a threat or a promise? | /r/MensRights | 21/09/25 11:57 PM |
| 1 | In the context of relationships with them, it's important to recognize men are more likely to react with violence when under stressThat's almost correct but you forgot the "or flight" portion of the equation. Most men have the shut down switch where they turn avoidant instead, escape into their own heads and stops listening. Social cognition closed down and he gets more "robotic". This can definately harm the relationship in it's own way, but it doesn't carry any risk of violence. Other than that, you are absolutely correct. There are biological differences which roughly divides genderwise (although individual exceptions ex… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 07/09/25 10:10 AM |
| 2 | CMV: Being a beta male worksI can conditionally buy the argument. True, there are men who are sort of low-energy when it comes to sex, or never felt variation as any high a priority. Legacy is what matters to him but if so, he wants you to birth HIS children. That's not to say he couldn't accept maybe one step child you're bringing in, but you're still expected to have additional children, with him. As for dead beadrooms. There's no good excuse for it unless there's a medical problem somehow. You don't think men are ever i… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 07/09/25 09:58 AM |
| 2 | Judging someone for their sexual past is more misandrist than it is misogynistic.Thought provoking stuff, and I think you are on to something deep. Men getting weird about women having a double digit n-count is more or less exactly the same thing as women "getting the ick" from bisexual men. And it's also the same thing as homophobic men. Yes, the common denominator should be a "defiled by dick" disgust fueling both homophobia and slut-shame. What would clinch it I think is if this correlates. A person who can see something endearing about m/m sex, male masturbation etc. in … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 07/09/25 09:26 AM |
| 1 | Is “Toxic Masculinity” Just a Distraction from a Real Malehood Crisis? — The Centre for Male PsychologyToxic masculinity is a fake concept with the goal of taking away from men their own self-definitions and to dictate what men are supposed to be, according to them. Picture a man who's just a scumbag and a criminal. A violent type. He goes to games and constantly end up in fights. He has an "impressive" vernacular saying things like "Oi yeh fokkin' wanker!". He throws beer cans in the back of people's heads. You, an ordinary good natured citizen, you claim that you have literally nothing in commo… | /r/MensRights | 06/09/25 09:39 AM |
| 22 | Woke feminism is castration without a knifeFeminists don't truly want men to be that, but they can't consolidate their own messages and theories with reality. They just think it should all work out, somehow. Truthfully, practicing anti-masculinity is a kind of resistance. That's to refuse the 3 P's of masculinity: Protect, Provide and Procreate. (PS: You don't automatically fall into feminine virtues when refusing to deliver masculinity. You just become more non-descript, gender wise.) Anyway, they do want men to still want the 3 P's (wh… | /r/MensRights | 06/09/25 09:25 AM |
| – | Why do men here act surprised that women like attractive men ?Based mom. That's refreshing. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 05/09/25 06:43 PM |
| 1 | Modern feminism is female supremacy, feminists don't actually want equalitySo, I don't agree with the whole marxism-applied-to-gender-and-race worldview, so that makes me opposed to nearly everything feminists tend to believe in, but.. what you describe mainly is the attitude of hypocritical reasonably well to-do middle class (and above) type of people. Ever since the boomers there's been no end to mid class people who select ideologies which congratulate them and dons that sweet sweet "I am a Good Person" aura as they fuck over everything else with their actual choice… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 05/09/25 06:22 PM |
| 1 | What would you tell a young male relative who just discovered how lopsided dating apps are and thinks it's unfair?Makes sense. Yeah, I bet it's envy on both ends. The gay men because, you can play that field here and now, and then leave it all behind, have a wife and kids in the 'burbs when the time comes. The woman, because they hate seeing the advantage you have. You don't truly have to win her approval according to any standard. They're an option then, nothing more. She doesn't have the same problem with gay men because those are in a class of their own, where the question about her own attractiveness do… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 05/09/25 05:57 PM |
| 1 | What would you tell a young male relative who just discovered how lopsided dating apps are and thinks it's unfair?I meant back when you were dating, of course. If it were only casual, finding someone to sleep with, I'd just leave that out. But if I were looking for an actual partner, I'd definately tell. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 05/09/25 05:16 PM |
| 4 | Why do so many modern TV shows and movies include anti-male themes? Why is it socially acceptable for today’s media to portray men so negatively?Right, but men are by no means obligated to sit there and watch, and that shows. A lot of movies and series who try to do that thing, they tank. There's nothing moral or political about it, just a divisive product which more often than not, doesn't sell. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 05/09/25 05:05 PM |
| 2 | Why do so many modern TV shows and movies include anti-male themes? Why is it socially acceptable for today’s media to portray men so negatively?Sorry, this is a bit out of the blue, but I recently watched Suits on Netflix. It's old I guess, but I hadn't seen it before. One of the main protagonists Harvey Specter is undeniably Alpha and in many ways (with some exceptions of course), a pretty damn good role model. It was nice to see that in a show, that it's actually anchored by a strong charismatic male lead. That said, were the hell do you find that these days? Like I said, that show is already old. Early 10's. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 05/09/25 04:57 PM |
| 0 | What would you tell a young male relative who just discovered how lopsided dating apps are and thinks it's unfair?Why'd you volunteer that information to women you hadn't already slept with? You were perhaps looking for a steady relationship only, with someone good? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 05/09/25 04:31 PM |
| 1 | What would you tell a young male relative who just discovered how lopsided dating apps are and thinks it's unfair?Does it matter? You don't need to tell any women that you've had men in your sexual past. If you want to say it, you can wait until after you've had sex. Since women argue that men don't have a right to know their n-count, same logic would apply here. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 05/09/25 04:24 PM |
| 4 | Enabling women committing pedophiliaWhile those men obviously suck, what's even more wrong are people using them to derail the debate. We say: these crimes afe awful and these guilty women need to be served punishments exactly matching the male equivalent perpetrators. Lib leftie/gender ideologue: Look at those men in the comment section! They say that as if it negates the entire argument. The truth is that these bastards can't stomach the idea of sentencing women and men equally. So that's why they derail and deflect. And if you … | /r/MensRights | 04/09/25 12:17 PM |
| 2 | Men should work harder for womenMeanwhile, if a man chooses to be with a woman who's less accomplished, and does less than her fair share around the house, has a lower amount of energy etc. does he get to complain? Is he welcome at the table to share experiences with the women complaining about men like you do now? Oh hell no, In this scenario he'd be met with the "can't handle a strong woman"-accusation and "obviously too insecure to attract a quality partner"-implication instead. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 01/09/25 03:46 PM |
| 1 | Males should be told to dress betterSo basically it's just a bunch of difficult-to-place emotion lacking logical coherence? Yeah, that's not worth taking to heart my guy. Just "Yes, dear" it while hitting a /ignore in your head, while choosing to do whatever you would anyway. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 30/08/25 01:16 PM |
| 1 | The Pill is just a safety net for men who can’t deal with rejection. It’s just an ideology that you can point to while you run away from your problems.If you absorb each and every talking point and take those to logical extremes without discernment, then yeah, probably. But so what? Why exactly do you care if they stay at home or are out there experiencing those rejections? Besides, rejections don't necessarily sting. Not if you have developed a healthy dose of avoidant attachment disorder, they don't. On that topic I have a question for you. What do you prefer between the person you just described and men who never read any pill content in th… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 30/08/25 12:14 PM |
| 3 | Males should be told to dress betterThat's a fine idea on the whole but, there's some drawbacks to it. Let's say that thing kicks off, it's going to color off on men's attitudes as well, big time. The vibe would change, and a lot of us would soon start to act prattish and elitist about it. Because men+fashion is intrinsically linked to competence, influence and wealth. It's too culturally ingrained to untangle. We wouldn't be able to help ourselves. It's the same thing with men failing studies. Want to swing that around? Then turn… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 30/08/25 08:36 AM |
| 1 | Women want to be sexy, but hate the men who sexualize themYup. This whole "You're hot, do you think I'm hot" thing is something people should just ice over if they're already with someone. People who are single can of course check you out or poke you for reaction sometimes but you let that fall on the floor. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 30/08/25 06:34 AM |
| 3 | Women want to be sexy, but hate the men who sexualize themThat may be counterproductive if you are single and looking but if you're not, then yes, withhold that sort of attention always. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 29/08/25 05:59 PM |
| 3 | Women want to be sexy, but hate the men who sexualize themI regard all women as sexless blobs lol, with exception for the woman I'm with. You might have a point about men wanting to be seen that way. I wasn't so I'm not going to be giving that ego-boost to anyone else either. Even if it sometimes would be the easiest thing to subtly deliver. Luckily, routinely "desxualising" everyone doesn't exist as a social crime. Being called out on that is basically impossible. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 29/08/25 05:54 PM |
| – | Do women see a male lack of strive as a moral failure?That seems like a bit of a leap, and vaguely of "all roads lead to misogyny unless you be/do what we say you should" A person must be in denial in order to be this lax and still not see that the consequence of choosing that lifestyle is that most will find it unappealing. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 28/08/25 03:31 PM |
| 1 | Do women see a male lack of strive as a moral failure?A person who has a job and can take care of his little bills is not an outcast though, not exactly. I've lived with people like this. They're part of communities in a sense, things that relate to their hobbies, interests, going to the odd meetup occasionally. They've just set up their life in a way were they have minimum of responsibilities. That said, it's not like I could read these guys mind. Maybe they were desperatly unfulfilled somehow, but it's nothing I noted or could know. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 26/08/25 07:25 PM |
| 1 | Do women see a male lack of strive as a moral failure?Do they walk out on jobs? Not from what I've noted. More like they remain at an entry level job and don't move an inch, for years and years. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 26/08/25 07:07 PM |
| 2 | Why the Man Who Doesn’t Need Marriage Terrifies Society – NietzscheI once read an article that was very telling. It was about a rural semi-remote place. What made the place unusual is that it had somewhat more young men moving for studies, jobs and opportunities than young women. The article seemed to actually guilt trip the young men over this. "But... but, there's jobs at the sawmill"! There was implication of lacking gratitude and that the place was dying due to their selfish decisions. Thing is, women have always moved out of places like that in large numbe… | /r/MensRights | 26/08/25 01:20 PM |
| 5 | Do women see a male lack of strive as a moral failure?Yeah what was her name, Alana or something? I don't remember the details but I think she was this canadian lightly autistic woman around 25 who had never dated, and who made the first incel forum? Didn't she also end up dating an incel man from the same web community she created? Funny to think that those places used to be supportive and productive. No blackpill, all individual focused. Or so I hear. Hard to tell now when all the early forums were long since nuked. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 26/08/25 11:41 AM |
| 4 | Do women see a male lack of strive as a moral failure?I'd hope most would reason the same way. Seems like it from the replies I've gotten. But if I look at how this question is presented in the media, they don't care to make that distinction at all. They always lump all low-income/low-educated men together and put a fat "problematic problem" sticker on top of it. I never hear them separate incel-like types and decent minimalist slackers who've knowingly chosen and own it. So that's the pre-conception I was coming from asking the question. Glad to b… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 26/08/25 11:14 AM |
| 2 | Do women see a male lack of strive as a moral failure?I agree. It's not an opinion that's often heard though. I guess it's because of economic down turns and things getting more expensive, that it obscures the fact that we can still cut costs, live a bit more frugal, but still not fight in any rat race. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 26/08/25 10:08 AM |
| 2 | Do women see a male lack of strive as a moral failure?Interesting ideas. You propose to reitierate the status of the wedding band with the assumed level of responsibility that come with? Thus creating a more natural barrier between that "life on easy mode" and the responsible life? Yeah, I think I can get behind that, but I think the trade off of that is that married couples, especially with children, gets to feel a lot more well, smug. Like they'd feel they possess a more dignified position in society, than other people around them. It's how it us… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 26/08/25 10:05 AM |
| 6 | Do women see a male lack of strive as a moral failure?No it's growing from how it was before. Women (in the aggregate) are increasingly out-earning men now. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 26/08/25 09:51 AM |
| 9 | Do women see a male lack of strive as a moral failure?Well, I'm somewhat tying my question into the "no eligible bachelors" "men too poor nowadays" headlines which have run around legacy media for a while. Apparently some seem to complain about men lacking ambition at least. I guess it's true. Men are poorer these days, don't compete as much but, and that's also true, that situation give more room for competitive women to excel and imo, it's a trade off they should appreciate a little bit more, maybe? But it sounds like you, as me, is working "on t… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 26/08/25 09:47 AM |
| 4 | Do women see a male lack of strive as a moral failure?This was a good read, thank you! I like how you framed that as "admirable modern man". It's nice. Yes, it's also my impression from men in this lifestyle, a handful of guys I've let rooms to in the past. None of them were even close to any resentful loser guy stereotype either. They did know about costs, efforts and responsibility though, and set their life up in a way where they situationally had very little of that. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 26/08/25 09:31 AM |
| 6 | Do women see a male lack of strive as a moral failure?Theoretically, women can have more datable accomplished men in the dating market to choose from, or, women can have easier education and career attainment because a lot fewer men even bother to professionally compete. But women can't have both. My question is if women acknowledge the truth in that? Because I see a lot of shaming in here regarding lax and unachieving types of men, though that has mostly been in the context of dating or having sex with those guys. What if we remove that context (w… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 26/08/25 09:15 AM |
| 2 | Do women see a male lack of strive as a moral failure?Of course. I see very well what you mean. However, you did circle straight back into the prospect of actually dating these men, but I already ruled that out in my OP question. The late 90's/00's debates regarding "Peter Pan-men" and/or manchildren tells me that around that time, many women actually did get involved with those guys and thought they'd just naturally shape up, but they didn't. My impression is that those relationships no longer happen at all, and then my idea is that these men inst… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 26/08/25 08:43 AM |
| 3 | How should average men pursue casual sex according to women?Agreed. That's the truth, but grace is optional Here's how you give up without grace. Instead you grind hard, find one woman willing to commit to you. Then you get married, have a couple of children and THEN, you get to feel smugly superior over those who couldn't make it or squandered the window of fertility, to have children of their own. Not seriously advocating for that but, I bet that sentiment is fairly common among average men who did raise a family. :) They didn't get any hoe phase but e… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 26/08/25 06:12 AM |
| 1 | Should women pay half of everything?Both work, both tend to maintaining the household but, you also let out a room dirt cheap to a poor relative or trusted friend. This person has to do a number of the household chores to compensate for the cheap accommodation. Nobody's then overburdened, and it fixes everyone's problem. This is a solution many fail to consider. There often a need for a third (adult) person. It's a brief time in history we've tried man+wife doing everything on their own, and sure, this worked briefly when one sala… | /r/MensRights | 23/08/25 08:42 PM |
| 4 | Disney's Self-Inflicted "Boy Trouble"I'm torn. It would be nice to see more blockbuster movies again which don't just condescend and insult male viewers, but things being what they are, it have led to so many men take their first steps into an MRA awakening, haven't they? I'm not sure if it's in our best interest if broad entertainment manages to fool young men that culture is somehow on their side. | /r/MensRights | 23/08/25 07:02 PM |
| 1 | Women's oppression comes from other women"Internalised misogyny", that phrase is the biggest red herring of them all. On beauty standards. I once read a woman's text where she said, you actually can as an individual woman, dissociate from that to the degree you don't even emotionally comprehend it. You'd then see it like a person with autism would, were none of it resonates with how you feel, in any way. The billboard featuring an attractive photoshopped woman just becomes a meaningless abstraction then. Well great, I thought, this wom… | /r/MensRights | 23/08/25 06:35 PM |
| 4 | Women's oppression comes from other womenI don't think it will hold very long though. Eventually women will tire having to pretend they're solidaric with ALL women, polite society, or stuffy old boomer institutions they inherited. They'll no longer believe that rich people tacking on facades of pro-woman lingo and other such meaningless kiss-ass is even remotely on their side (PROTIP: No they're not). Then we'll finally see the toxic sisterhood start to break apart and fragment, and this would set women free. Good news for us too becau… | /r/MensRights | 23/08/25 06:09 PM |
| 1 | Women's oppression comes from other womenYou're conflating new and old leftism. Old leftism was sectarian for the worker class. They idealised themselves while showing disdain for everything the higher classes did. They didn't spend a second wasting empathy on someone bourgois or upper class. Modern leftism is identity politics and stinks to high heaven. A woman scraping by in the gig economy, can barely pay rent nor make any plans for the future.. she's told to be solidaric if for instance, a much richer woman than her experience some… | /r/MensRights | 23/08/25 05:29 PM |
| 5 | Women's oppression comes from other womenYes, there is a backlash from men because the women's idea of changing things is to include everybody under the same suffocating collective culture. Women want everyone to agree and adher to a new-and-improved system of norms where we all reconcile each others differences. It's very much the classroom problem where a misguided teacher tries to force everyone to be friends and get along, although the right answer is that some kids/groups should just stay out of each other's way for the most part.… | /r/MensRights | 23/08/25 05:07 PM |
| 1 | Women's oppression comes from other womenYes but groups are different in make up and how they consolidate with larger culture (if they even do). Men's groups are more internally focused, meaning they in-group either ignore the outside culture or even oppose it. They elect their own internal value systems. Women's groups more often consolidate with the broader culture, but is then also chained to it like satellites. This is of course rather generalized, but yeah, hard to make an argument otherwise | /r/MensRights | 23/08/25 04:45 PM |
| 2 | Do you ever feel bad seeing how some people talk about struggling guys or even incls?Hah, yeah. With the "regrettable" lack of a recent enough real-world horrific incident related to this, one has to be invented and turned into a mini series. The most groanworthy thing is that they try to posit a thirteen year old as a believable culprit. Real life tweens interest in sex is generally just early stage self-discovery at that point, if anything. In the meantime they are still kids, with kid interests. Sports, video games, whatever and most aren't even seriously considering having g… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 23/08/25 04:07 PM |
| 5 | Women's oppression comes from other womenYes, it definitely does tie in. Modern leftism is an extension of "toxic inclusivity" or whatever we should call it. | /r/MensRights | 23/08/25 08:09 AM |
| 10 | Women's oppression comes from other womenNo, I haven't done that. It's an interesting idea though but I think it would fall on deaf ears when they come to "not men, not patriarchy" because that would be the cue to dismiss everything I say, wouldn't it? | /r/MensRights | 23/08/25 07:58 AM |
| 7 | Do you ever feel bad seeing how some people talk about struggling guys or even incls?It's a super marginal phenomenon, incels. You need to bring stats from the whole western world over two decades in order to find a handful of examples where a maniac incel commit murder. The incel scare has been all about indoctrinating people through fear. Most articles I find on incels are A. Scare tactics B. A bunch of feminist statements I (the reader) must agree with or I'm implicit in the incel problem somehow. It was the same with most articles on Metoo. 1/3 of the article could be valid,… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 23/08/25 07:02 AM |
| 1 | There is no such thing as an "invalid" or "shallow" reason not to date someone, every single dating preference is valid.Only if it's said out loud. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 23/08/25 06:36 AM |
| 8 | Introverted men or asocial men are far more likely to have odd interactions with women, due male gender expectations.This is a problem with people who are "oversocial" actually. When they see you never engage, they feel like you invalidate the entire "social gathering", whether that's a class, school or a workplace. However, didn't this change post-pandemic? Not like I've had tons of different jobs but there's colleagues of mine that don't really speak much, unless it's about work. Those things are fine now. It's more socially fragmented. Lastly, being odd isn't a social crime. If you firmly decide it isn't, p… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 23/08/25 06:30 AM |
| 2 | Prison for non-payment of child support should be abolished, and if someone can't or won't pay it, the state should just pay it instead of prosecuting the non-payerThe underage assault situation proves the justice system is retarded and nonsensical. If an adult woman molests a 13-14 year old and gets pregnant, this is already proof she isn't fit to mother the child. Irellevant then if she already had other children which she somehow didn't molest or otherwise traumatized. Parental rights need to be automatically severed in these cases and that the child goes into the system and is put up for adoption. Maybe the victimized boy's parents could have the right… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 20/08/25 05:57 AM |
| 2 | birth rate is declining due to men objectifying women more than beforeIt doesn't align at all with sources I've read. About the same amount of couples still have children but they have fewer now because they start later. This is mainly due to cost of living and other market failures. Couples who would've had 3-4 children now only have 2. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 20/08/25 05:45 AM |
| 2 | Sex is a need, and men are losing today because they are not needed, which is a result of the Industrial Revolution.Yes, you sum it up very well, and were it up to me, I'd want you to have that pilates group with no men around. I don't see homosocial gatherings as places anyone should permanently live in but maybe have like a base of operation sometimes? You decide if you change your behavior in mixed company vs. not (and nearly everyone does). Exactly, and that's precisely the problem. You might be able to remain the same as men join your pilates group (borrowing that example), but you can't control the othe… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 19/08/25 07:01 PM |
| 7 | Harvard professor Richard Wrangham thinks it is a 'very good idea' to eliminate human males from existenceThis is a type of guy young women should make sure to never spend any time alone with. It's obvious really. | /r/MensRights | 19/08/25 04:33 PM |
| 1 | Do you agree with feminist leader Jessica Valenti that it is obscene to talk about young men falling behind when women have restricted access to abortion?I thought that name was familiar! This was the same feminist who first wrote a text against cat calling (valid), but then later a text on how she missed catcalling growing older. But fear not! It was culture who made her feel like that. She has no control over it. She was 37 years old writing that. Suppose culture does influence it somehow, the fact that someone nearing 40 claims how she can't intellectually overpower invalid thoughts and feelings like that, it says it all really. "that being to… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 19/08/25 11:01 AM |
| 1 | Sex is a need, and men are losing today because they are not needed, which is a result of the Industrial Revolution.That's viable for incels who are also just faintly flexible in their sexuality. It wouldn't be their first choice but a realistic out. Heterosexual men couldn't do it though. Doing drugs is a more viable solution. Zoloft is great. Takes the edge off depression AND kills the sex drive while you're on it. Unfortunately the second feature is regarded as a side-effect, so MDs don't want to prescribe it. It's time to repurpose that drug now. Some men could just be on that one for life, slice off a pa… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 19/08/25 06:15 AM |
| 1 | Sex is a need, and men are losing today because they are not needed, which is a result of the Industrial Revolution.I'm not saying all of that should, or even could be reintroduced exactly as is. A problem with mixed company is that single men tend to censor themselves then, assume what they think is "mainstream attractive" and dote on the women present. Then the place doesn't work like a place of internal male validation, and the place begins reflecting any other place really. I'm just looking at it historically and why celibate men were better off in the past. It's a rather brief time in history really when… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 19/08/25 06:03 AM |
| 1 | Women’s sexual preferences are seen as valid while men’s sexual preferences are notYeah, like I said we quit it. There don't need to be any rallying cry, and most of the time there isn't. All it takes is for something like that to start marinate in gender studies, intersectionality, and "men are a problem society must fix". That's when we all start dropping off, almost sub-consciously even. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 18/08/25 11:09 PM |
| 2 | If you make the claim that you think being single is perfectly fine and shouldn't be a problem, you should be open to talk about your relationship history.I see a bigger problem with the failure to understand how men differ from women in this regard. Women, dateless or not, they want to belong in larger culture, and men only agree to do so through a relationship. That's a natural born difference really. A man who'd like to make peace with celibacy, or even lifelong virginity generally needs a monastic order of men to be content. There used to be exclusive brotherhoods everywhere. Oopsie, they were all banned. Forced inclusion, but even worse, dema… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 18/08/25 10:58 PM |
| 2 | Women’s sexual preferences are seen as valid while men’s sexual preferences are notRight, but all male readers had already left before the degradation due to it's increasingly manhating slant. That means no resilience then to weather any storm. It also means an increasingly singular audience that you are stuck having to placate to, and that all but guarantees stagnation. This is a tangent but since you brought it up: Sexual harassment would be obvious. It never fails really. Male leftist writers who fashion themselves champions of feminism, anti-racism aso. are predictably rev… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 18/08/25 09:54 PM |
| 2 | Women’s sexual preferences are seen as valid while men’s sexual preferences are notWe already are, and it's working There's many once reputable 'zines and news outlets that go belly up these days, aren't there? Vice was a manhating publication. We quit it, and it died. There's many fine examples of this I could mention manhating movies shoving politics down our throats. Evidence speaks for itself really. Billions in losses. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 18/08/25 09:05 PM |
| -7 | Sex is a need, and men are losing today because they are not needed, which is a result of the Industrial Revolution.But a key component to, at least men's successful and satisfactory celibate life is based on something particular. You mentioned priests which is very close but I would rather say monastic order. Not the religiousness, though that can work well too, but the social makeup of those places. Men in this situation need gatherings sealed off mostly from the rest of society. Rooms that are only ruled by the gathered men's internal order and values. From these rooms like base camps, they venture outside… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 18/08/25 08:27 PM |
| – | Sex is a need, and men are losing today because they are not needed, which is a result of the Industrial Revolution.Right, but mainstream messaging is desperate to sell us the narrative that sexless/solitary man = always miserable. It's incredibly rare to find a (published) culture article, tv-segment etc. which ever made any attempt to normalize male celibacy, or any choices of men for that matter. We only have alternative online spaces to speak in, where sometimes also bad men voice their opinions. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 18/08/25 04:00 PM |
| 1 | Women’s sexual preferences are seen as valid while men’s sexual preferences are notAnd certainly not mainstream media which has been oozing with "women are wonderful"-bias for decades until it's now a requirement. Their dwindling audiences are now mainly female so they can't even take a risk to mildly upset them with any counter narratives. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 18/08/25 03:35 PM |
| 0 | Women’s sexual preferences are seen as valid while men’s sexual preferences are notIt proves men are correct to boycott a lot of established mainstream media or at least maintain a sceptic-as-fuck attitude towards it. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 18/08/25 03:26 PM |
| – | Sex is a need, and men are losing today because they are not needed, which is a result of the Industrial Revolution.It is a need but mostly an artificial one, a need that has been made. Lack of sex isn't what makes you miserable. The state, market and media do. They won't stop pushing narcissist ideals "Work on yourself", Self-actualization, "Have lot's of sex" And I've not ever seen any honest media coverage on contented volcel men, although there's many of them. They purposefully keep the frame Single man = miserable, and they'd really hate it if that frame was broken. They get piss scared if they can't cou… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 18/08/25 06:13 AM |
| 8 | Women link a mans romantic invisibility with a moral or character flawOne archetype in particular comes to mind. The leftist man who wants to champion feminism. Tell tale signs are that he's extremely agressive towards political opponents, and men in particular who confront or contradict anything he says. He typically writes a shitty pop culture book about "The problem with men today" filled with demands about what he thinks all men should be like. And you watch this type of guy and count down 3.. 2.. 1.. and BAM! There's a scandal about him having sexually molest… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 17/08/25 08:24 PM |
| 2 | People who believe women can’t love men move the goal posts of the definition of “love” or “true love” in a way that allows them to maximize self pityYes absolutists statements like that can be debunked. Though you're underestimating how people in general, men and women, have been fooled to become increasingly more transactional. To view everything as effort/reward, cost/benefit and effort/countereffort. And no, people too wrapped up in that cannot love. They are in denial over that too. They think they have the capacity, if/when they are in the right place in life, or with the "right" person, but no. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 17/08/25 09:37 AM |
| 1 | Extreme redpillers do indeed misrepresent pre-Millennial marriage, but bluepillers do it just as much, if not more so, albeit in different waysFeminists worth their salt, somewhat older and intellectual as fuck, they don't regard dating apps favorably. The ones I've read have made arguments that dating apps accelerate capitalization, that we import more capitalist logic into the innermost of our private lives. That is not a positive thing. Furthermore, the fact that we do this to ourselves, let capitalist logic take over more and more of what used to be "just life" is symptomatic of late stage capitalism where fewer and fewer people ar… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 17/08/25 09:25 AM |
| 1 | Being a late bloomer comes with inexperience, but it also comes with lots of scars and baggage. The term has also been weaponized of late, and that’s worth brining up.There's lots of misconceptions here. First, late bloomers mature plenty in most respects and this matters. You're not a clueless 16 year old with his first girlfriend. You can communicate better than him, you don't think the world revolves around you, and so on. You may screw up, but you will not screw up the way he would. Late bloomers have massive baggage? Yes it can correlate but not necessarily. Say you used to be a little inhibited overanxious little ball of shame, but last year you had an … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 17/08/25 09:09 AM |
| 2 | Men should take up their issues with the women that caused them4B is just female MGTOW. The latter failed to impress or put any fear in women. So will 4B fail too. There's always been men and women who can, and have, quit dating with conviction, though they are never many enough to even make a dent. It's not something anyone notices. Also, for the majority of adherents of such things it's just a loosly held "internet stance" which feels good when you're lonely and nursing old wounds. But unless they're actually barricading themselves in their homes, they do… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 16/08/25 08:25 AM |
| 3 | The atomization of society and individualism is what harms dating the mostYeah, subcultures are attacked to death from two ends. Market capitalism wanting to compartmentalize, package and sell <thing> until it's essentially a corpse. Social constructivists want to infiltrate <thing> so that it becomes just another safe space where everyone sits and bitch about feminism, racial inequity, ACAB, Palestine or whatever, instead of actually doing <thing>. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 16/08/25 07:58 AM |
| 3 | What are some secrets men dont tell women?Sorry, I can't remember all the little things that set it off, but I'm definitely feeling it when people say that male sexuality (in general) is always framed negatively. I certainly caught that when I was a teenager, and internalized it hard. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 16/08/25 07:10 AM |
| 1 | What are some secrets men dont tell women?We had several interests in common. Just because you have a hard time feeling attracted to anyone, it doesn't mean you feel everyone's unattractive. It's just in neutral territory. If you don't even have a "type", it means almost everyone actually is an option, because you're not going to feel like you're settling, or that you would rather be with someone else. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 16/08/25 07:05 AM |
| 4 | Why do men assume gorgeous women will have a bad personality ? Why judge a woman unfairly and harsh ?How'd you know they assume them being stuck up and mean? Did anyone actually say that to you? Appearance also signals lifestyle sometimes, and what you describe strongly signals "very outgoing". Let's go out! Let's book a day spa! Let's go on a trip! Men who are more sedentary and like to spend more weekends at home (some such men might even be moderately good looking btw), I wager a lot of those are just going to assume incompatibility right from the get. It's dumb to assume mostly, but a lot o… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 16/08/25 06:50 AM |
| 0 | "Women have sex with Chad to make him commit" is false by the current, solely looks-based, definition of "Chad"Poor Chad is a certain kind of breed to be sure, and only fools would want to be him. I know someone like that. We've been friends for many years. He has some very good looks, ADHD and is a social alcoholic. Surprisingly maybe, a guy like that doesn't focus on sex. It is everything about parties, social life, meeting new people, intoxication and of course sex too. He's drawn to everything at the same time. Where he goes, everything is energized, more fun. So yes, women do want to take him home, … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 13/08/25 08:56 PM |
| 3 | What are some secrets men dont tell women?There was no way, at the time, of knowing if it actually was asexuality or whatever it was. Not when you don't have any insightful experiences to base it on. I thought it was the same for everyone. Until you've managed to land a relationship and have had a bunch of sex with one and the same person (which I hadn't), your feelings of attraction may be out of whack. Haphazard one night stands didn't do it for me either. I figured it was the same thing. Too brief to really change things up. Well I w… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 13/08/25 08:05 PM |
| – | Breasts are the reason everyone is unhappy, especially womenLol, I don't know! I feel it in my soul. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 13/08/25 07:43 PM |
| 3 | Ironically, progressive women are still obsessed with status in menI get your argument but some nuance is apt here in my opinion. We can't ignore the often stark political and (chosen) cultural divide between white collar women and blue collar men. They often mutually dislike one another something fierce for reasons that has less to do with economic class. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 13/08/25 07:34 PM |
| 11 | Ironically, progressive women are still obsessed with status in menThe political left would never allow for a programme which would explicitly support struggling men. They'd never green light say, a grand tax-subsidized therapy outreach program to help those incel/NEET/whatever guys you mention. To get their mind straight and not kill themselves. If that would even be whispered about haroies would scream it down with "Men aren't oppressed!" as if that is somehow a logical argument against statistical reality. Meanwhile they've passed countless stipends, program… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 13/08/25 07:28 PM |
| 2 | What are some secrets men dont tell women?I think (not speaking specifically about me now) that men and women are drifting further apart culturally. We don't enjoy the same entertainment, follow the same news or politics. Hell, we even divide over which social media we're using. It's a hortbed of misunderstanding, distrust and win-lose thinking. So yeah, being safe is to monitor closely how much confidence and emotional investment you choose to give someone. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 13/08/25 06:13 PM |
| – | Breasts are the reason everyone is unhappy, especially womenNo, sorry. Don't follow this at all, because I don't find it to be all that universal. Men being extra fascinated with breasts doesn't strike me as that manly. It seems a tad bit "mommy issue" and also, very British somehow. Nice to touch of course, but so are butts. Necks are nice to sniff. See where I'm going with this? Anyway, the truely heterosexual manly thing is wanting to get in and penetrate, without much fuss. Don't get mad, it's culture. Growing up in Scandinavian countries, only a few… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 13/08/25 06:00 PM |
| 8 | What are some secrets men dont tell women?I don't know. There's just an off-switch in my head which flips automatically. I don't really dig or pick at this "issue" but for example: You know how some guys sometimes feel the burning need to seek assurance from women they know? Spill about a bunch of stuff that's bothering them currently? I never feel that need. You know play-flirting? Those small low-stake "You're handsome, say I am handsome too?". I know how to partake, but I don't anymore. I let it fall on the floor. To me, that has beg… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 13/08/25 11:59 AM |
| 1 | What are some secrets men dont tell women?That's truly awful and I'm sorry to hear it. I've once been held down by some psycho who then groped me but I pushed him off and ran. Not saying I get it, but maybe just a little. Of course, I don't think violent fantasies are neatly divided between men/women like that but a little generalized, I think it goes roughly like this: More men's vindictive fantasies are directly violent. The women's fantasies more often involve creating a pariah, to completely destroy the culprit's social standing and… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 13/08/25 11:40 AM |
| 9 | What are some secrets men dont tell women?Yes there was. She was infatuated with me. We had not one but three interests/hobbies in common. So, I estimated, if this works out, it can be something really great. We can live under the same roof and have all those things together one day. And of course, I didn't want to be lonely either. I was out there hitting at randoms at the time, mostly unsuccessfully, but fun anyway. Gratifying to know you're one who dares to, while all the nebbish little boys sit paralyzed at the sidelines. Makes it w… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 13/08/25 11:30 AM |
| 12 | What are some secrets men dont tell women?Extra post! I remembered one very common thing men withold from women: Hate and violent fantasies. I'll paint a scenario. Say you read an awful story about a child molestation. Your guy might give a small hint like muttering "they ought to just kill the bastard", but what you don't know is that the guy may be playing the scenario vividly in his head. Get the guys, tie the bastard up, throw him on the pickup and drive to the woods. Force him to dig his own grave at gunpoint, watch him piss himsel… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 13/08/25 10:45 AM |
| 11 | What are some secrets men dont tell women?Thanks, yeah I think this is ok. I'm not worrying. It's still not something I'd ever speak up about. "Hey love. Fun fact, when we started off, I didn't love you and I didn't have the hots for you. It fell in place later like I thought it would. Lucky huh?" That could only cause pain and confusion. Here's the thing, I'm a believer that all of us have a private room in our mind with some secrets, that are uniquely ours. Unless holding them causes issues, or they're frankly too many to hold, the he… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 13/08/25 10:22 AM |
| 34 | What are some secrets men dont tell women?One thing I think men withhold are emotional problems and peculiar sexual hangups. I had to feign and act more feelings than I had when I was dating my (now) wife. Sex life was initially tricky to get working right too. I explained it with gray asexuality, demisexuality and such accepted Tumblr-terms. Truth is I'm stunted, emotionally distrustful of women in general. I exclusively used cartoon- and written porn of the variety "Doesn't exist in real life" for years which probably reinforced it in… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 13/08/25 08:16 AM |
| 1 | What are some secrets men dont tell women?I never told her the real reason as to why our sex life had a rocky start and why I don't find any women, apart from her, even remotely attractive. I coated it in Tumblr-words like "gray asexuality" and demisexuality though the real reason is I managed to stunt myself years earlier. I'm emotionally deeply distrustful of women in general. For a long time I was exclusively drawn to porn of the variety "Does not exist in real life". Drawn stuff, hentai and the like. That probably reinforced it. Any… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 13/08/25 07:42 AM |
| 1 | Woman obsessed with her therapist tries to paint him as the bad guyThe larger shift, my suspicion, is that while men still might offer women easy sex, a lot more are reluctant towards relationship, commitments, co-habitation and raising families. For damn good reason. That in itself may provoke something of an uptick in female-led sex crimes and harassment. Not implying we have any responsibility over that, of course. | /r/MensRights | 12/08/25 10:20 PM |
| – | Why does the phrase "Nah, she's too hot for me" annoy women?That's what I thought, and I still think there's something to it. Though it may have served to make the question a lot less specific. So.. Let any man make any crass self-limiting statement and he'll get the same reaction most of the time. Even if that self-assessment is very likely to be accurate. And to always maintain a positive/optimistic social mode, leaving room for nothing else, to me that's blue pill at it's most toxic. I'm not saying those are truly held individual beliefs but culture, … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 12/08/25 10:14 PM |
| 2 | Most boyfriends would be happier forgiving their cheating girlfriend or wifeYou can write a take without it being exactly relevant to your own life of course but in your case it cannot be ignored, reading the comment replies you also made. You cheated on your guy, but the relationship didn't end... except it did! You guys ended your monogamous relationship and replaced it with an open one. Now you're having threesomes together and he has a side piece even, which you approve of him having. Congrats on that btw, truly. You did a supremely shitty thing and yet it opened up… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 12/08/25 09:52 PM |
| 93 | Woman obsessed with her therapist tries to paint him as the bad guyThank goodness she wasn't a school teacher who "couldn't help but fall in ""love"" with an underage student". She seems exactly the type. Are these stories just popping up now because it's finally ok to report on female perps, or is it another kind of larger shift going on? | /r/MensRights | 12/08/25 09:09 PM |
| – | Why does the phrase "Nah, she's too hot for me" annoy women?I think looks aren't everything of course, but it often reflects more. For instance, a guy looking like a slob most likely is a slob, and belongs with a messy girl. Pretty often looksmatch = compatibility. Maybe people on here take issue with holding too rigidly to that, and I can understand that point too. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 12/08/25 07:35 PM |
| – | Why does the phrase "Nah, she's too hot for me" annoy women?Aren't you taking it a bit too far now? Exactly where does acting uncivil enter the equation? You're critiquing maybe something else here, a guy with a hangup for women he simultaneously holds an inferiority complex towards. Yes, he would almost certainly ass in some notable way. But it isn't what we discussed, I think. For arguments sake, say you have this guy who befriends homely gals dates one of them. He looks like a homebody too. Yes, maybe when he sees more sophisticated, more make-up wear… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 12/08/25 07:29 PM |
| – | Why does the phrase "Nah, she's too hot for me" annoy women?I agree. The latter thing would never happen though, save if it was interpreted from the statement of a guy saying he's steering clear from conventionally attractive. The slutty or glam, sophisticated or club queens, they'd never notice a subset of men avoiding them. So it's the most nonexistant of non-issues. Nothing to moralise over anyway. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 12/08/25 06:48 PM |
| – | Why does the phrase "Nah, she's too hot for me" annoy women?I really don't see how that can be read into the statement. Someone saying they'd prefer someone a bit more plain doesn't automatically mean "I want someone unattractive". People can be cute in their own way without looking stunning to you. But if that's the general impression of what's being said, a guy saying that he wants someone unattractive to him then yeah, that would explain people getting weirded out. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 12/08/25 06:23 PM |
| – | Why does the phrase "Nah, she's too hot for me" annoy women?The reaction makes sense to me. It may explain it. But I'd say it's an incorrect one. There's a lot between super attractive and unattractive. It doesn't make sense for anyone to date someone they actually find unattractive/repellent. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 12/08/25 06:01 PM |
| – | Why does the phrase "Nah, she's too hot for me" annoy women?Third is pretty interesting. I think it would vary depending on what the guy actually looks like. I can see it if what he's saying doesn't match reality. He looks pretty good actually. But what if he actually does look bad? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 12/08/25 05:51 PM |
| – | Why does the phrase "Nah, she's too hot for me" annoy women?Ah, so what you're saying is that even though a person discredit themselves in this way, by saying it outright, they passively enforce a worldview which others don't agree with? So in a sense, it becomes less personal and more a question of values? You're right about social media btw. There's plenty of aspiring influencer women who says it outright. Average looking dudes shouldn't even speak to them. Some might start to conflate appearance with the attitude. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 12/08/25 05:37 PM |
| – | Why does the phrase "Nah, she's too hot for me" annoy women?Well I don't know. It's why I asked. I was thinking there might be something else, like women tend to dislike it when men narrow in life in definitive terms, though men tend to consider the same kind of thing as resolute and pragmatic? So putting oneself down is off-putting huh? How's it putting oneself down to consider yourself average? That's got to be a pretty objective and accurate assessment for most men really. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 12/08/25 03:02 PM |
| 3 | economy profits from male loneliness and benefits when men stay singleHah, I never knew. Well that explains why media/mainstream media hates "quitter" men. Single men who don't chase relationships with women, get into room shares with friends, live minimalist Work part time in order to game more etc. Because these men don't contribute enough to the economy. That's why they tend to be "presumed incel until proven otherwise". Stand strong dear volcel dudes... and dear volcel ladies too! It also rubs people's survival instincts in lots of pathetic ways when they hear… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 12/08/25 08:29 AM |
| 2 | Many men’s dating problems come from expecting women to act like men.I mean yeah, in case a guy is at least a little flexible, and also disinterested in having kids and so forth, he should give the option of being with a man some serious consideration. You're probably being rethorical, I'm 100% sincere. If he truly wants to be erotically validated, another man is likely the superior choice. Men can give that energy freely and much stronger. Women may need to go to some tantra course in order to unlock it, lol. No wonder some women's well hidden homophobia tends t… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 12/08/25 08:16 AM |
| 2 | lusting after a body =/= unconditional loveHere we go again. "Lusting after a body". Feminist rage-take wrapped up in an unconscious side of retrograde prudishness. The thing is, any man who's a little flexible, somewhere between mostly straight and bi, knows that there's nothing cheap about men's lust. Even though you (as this kind of guy), might actually be mostly wired to prefer women's bodies, the fact that a man can get completely aroused just by seeing you naked is wild and gratifying as hell. It may in fact do all the difference f… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 12/08/25 07:56 AM |
| 7 | Men who are desperate to find a woman are actually desperate for something else. A meaning to their lives.I don't suggest mooching off of parents. Either pay rent or compensate them. Alternatively move out, and that's the baseline. But the bar can still be set incredibly low if you want. Get into a room share and only work part time. Pay your meagre little bills. You're correct that if the goal is a relationship, it's inadvisable maybe but, I'm thinking about those who've already given up. They have a subversive freedom to explore, and maybe they should. No need wasting money on their looks. No hust… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 04/08/25 02:39 PM |
| 5 | Men who are desperate to find a woman are actually desperate for something else. A meaning to their lives.And I think those men are entitled to participate in culture and economy as little as possible, from a position of self righteousness | /r/PurplePillDebate | 03/08/25 01:06 PM |
| 1 | Men who are desperate to find a woman are actually desperate for something else. A meaning to their lives.Live minimalist and participate in the economy as little as you can. This already has an effect. Men's non-participation and non-consumtion has already collapsed a lot of Hollywood and media outlets for instance. Good, take pride in things like that. We don't need any rich spoiled assholes dictating our lives with hollow moralism. The further step is to form communities that relies neither on state/welfare systems, nor the free markets. This further weakens the old order. Returning to religion m… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 03/08/25 12:18 PM |
| 1 | Men's social role is limited by society's preference for "masculine" traitsMen do not prosocially try to change culture, even if they are different. They quit it, and hopefully go someplace better. What they do is set up alternative scenes where other social rules apply, and there's more versions of male flight out there than hypermasculine subcultures. There's many nerdy scenes which are also flamboyant. I mention these because it's something I know a lot about. What I'm talking about in particular are things like theatre groups, cosplay, renfair and furry communities… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 02/08/25 12:34 PM |
| 1 | I’ve been reading here about men’s struggles with vulnerability, manipulation, etc. Curious to hear more real perspectives.I think a lot of men reporting these things either are young or have nursed traumas from crashed relationships from when they were young. Then conclusions are drawn from that. The secret is that young women are socially and emotionally incompetent people with main character syndrome, just the same as the young guys are. Dating as an adult, well yeah, you can't be a wreck or be in risk of crashing, because then nobody will have you, but that's kind of a given. It doesn't mean you can't express pr… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 29/07/25 11:34 AM |
| 5 | Is there change in the apprehension of male flight?I have no problem with most of your perspectives here but then you mentioned podcast bros, and that's an alternative media outlet of sorts. Would you prefer that men would remain glued to HuffPo, The Guardian, Washington Post and CNN? To sit there and take the incessant misandry and bullying of men on the chin? And to keep respecting the hierarchy economies of old, just because there now happens to be more women there, with faux-progressive slants? Are we missing out on valid perspectives by tun… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 29/07/25 10:27 AM |
| 3 | Is there change in the apprehension of male flight?Yep, and that's why we can find a lot of fake-concern articles in published media about this topic and from other houses-that-boomers-built. Old media kisses asses of women and only pretends to be humanist, feminist, progressive etc. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 29/07/25 09:55 AM |
| 1 | Escorts are the worst option for undesirable menI was going to write something about this, that it can be therapeutic for men with very ingrained self-enforcing issues with their virginity. But you've actually worked with precisely this, so thanks for sharing your story. I think it's some seriously cool and meaningful work you did there. It's really amazing. But according to Swedish (legal to sell, illegal to buy) feminazis you are automatically assumed to have been exploited, same as anyone who sells sex under any circumstances. Not that I p… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 29/07/25 07:16 AM |
| 2 | Hot take: (CMV) The "Healthy Masculinity" feminism pushes is more toxic than the toxic masculinityI've not really seen many feminists online propose any masculinity framework whatsoever. It's really sort of impossible for them to even suggest it because then they would have to subscribe to the idea that some traits, skills and preferences are innately more male than female, and that is something they just cannot do. They can only deconstruct but not construct. I think OP what you are reacting to are female-centric media shills. In old media (linear tv and newspapers), there's a lot of shit b… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 29/07/25 06:58 AM |
| 1 | Women expect men to deconstruct male gender norms, but aren't willing to break away from normative femininity themselvesYes, that's how it is now. Every choice, regardless if you (as a woman) take an honorable occupation, or inject fillers in your lips and create a youtube channel where you trick kids into wanting purses and cosmetics they can't afford, it's all treated as teehee, equally valid. At this point in time it's forbidden to moralise over women's choices apparently. Attacking all the choices men tend to do is still permitted, but also has morphed a bit. In the 2010's it was all straight up mock and ridi… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 28/07/25 08:53 AM |
| 1 | Women expect men to deconstruct male gender norms, but aren't willing to break away from normative femininity themselvesI was describing how social constructivists and so called progressives also have put a lot of social pressure on women to conform to their ideas. I think men may be fighting and resisting that a little bit more though, and are less inclined to adopt and regurgitate stuff that academics have decided is good for them. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 28/07/25 08:10 AM |
| 0 | Women expect men to deconstruct male gender norms, but aren't willing to break away from normative femininity themselvesI'm not sure what you're implying right now. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 28/07/25 08:02 AM |
| 0 | Women expect men to deconstruct male gender norms, but aren't willing to break away from normative femininity themselvesThat's too simplistic. Gender deconstructivism hasn't only been piled on men. It just hasn't happened to men and women simultaneously always. I don't know the American history of this, but I roughly know the history of it in my own country. Once taxation rules changed in order to put women to work outside the home, it of course meant that women who remained house wives were disrespected as stubborn and old-fashioned. When modernism was bulldozered through, women, who were largely more religious … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 28/07/25 07:48 AM |
| 3 | What is the Point of No Return for Being Single? How Long Does it Take for a Person to Realize They Missed the Chance to Get a Partner in This Life?Stesolid is a strong valium based one. Half a pill under your tongue and the effect is instant. Difficult to get a hold of though as you need to really convince the med you're not going to take yourself out with them. Beta blockers are pretty good too. Lastly, if you're going to turn your life inside out, and do a bunch of things you never did before, it's probably best to be in therapy at the same time. This doesn't seem like something advisable to try and go through on your own. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 27/07/25 04:45 PM |
| 3 | Why do some women say its the guy’s fault for being single?Agreed. And men who've been close to these kind of relationships, they've seen that they have the full range. Some tough guy posturing when that feels funny or rewarding, then effortlessly switch to the sensitive and vulnerable. For all the talk about "tops" and "bottoms" and the implied social scripts, it seems more like a joke or something strictly related to sex. More commonly, they individiually possess the full range, and it's not a problem. If I'd say something negative though is how they … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 27/07/25 12:46 PM |
| 1 | There is a War against Male Sexuality todayThere is almost nothing being writ in published novels these days which is also titillating for general straight men. And for God's sake no younger woman/older male pairings! The academic intelligenta strikes down hard on that, and no publisher dares to approve any work containing it now. Feminism in the literary circles is now endemic. Luckily... You can read lots of other things if you know how to browse fanfiction scenes. Those are ironically often written by women, even when they center firm… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 27/07/25 10:28 AM |
| -1 | There is a War against Male Sexuality todayThen you admit that England has gone too far when they apparently run a registry on people who want to see some anime porn? They collect identification on people who do. Can't it be argued, at least there, that we have an extreme and obvious example of feminism (intertwined with conservatism) has turned totalitarian? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 27/07/25 10:21 AM |
| 0 | There is a War against Male Sexuality todayWhat do you mean by control? Am I allowed to express for example that I find Gal Gadot sexy af, or does that "vicitmize" and "objectify"? Provided, of course that Gal herself isn't standing right in front of me, which kind of is a given. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 27/07/25 10:18 AM |
| 2 | How can men avoid rape allegations?Never bring anyone home straight from the bar when you've both been drinking. Granted, young bucks in their early 20's can go home with a 40+ drunk woman with neglible risk. It's become a bit more common these days too. I think it's a good starting point for young men often. I mean especially if you're the neat, clean, polite yet unassertive and somewhat nerdy type of young man. That's what some of those women zone in on in particular. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 27/07/25 09:49 AM |
| 7 | Reddit women are a minority the basic "normie" girl is pretty darn patriarchalIt isn't that. You can be a guy and adopt a bunch of feminine stuff, as long as your hard core personality remains intact. If you're the kind of man who would laugh at a woman because she is a little weirded out about your unusual habits, you won't have any problem. But, feminine interests often correlates with a soft and way too vulnerable personality like "please please accept me for who I am!!!". If that latter thing is present, you're doomed, always. No weakness. No insecurity. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 27/07/25 09:37 AM |
| 13 | Reddit women are a minority the basic "normie" girl is pretty darn patriarchalHaving to be rough in bed fucking sucks. Like, screw cozy and intimate. Let's have matress-based-cardio instead. It's just exhausting and you can't even go into your own pleasure much because it all feels more like exercise and performance. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 27/07/25 09:32 AM |
| 1 | Men Need an Extreme Separatist Ideology , Total Detachment from WomenThis is a bad idea, and not something you should wish becomes widespread. It would not bring political change for a simple reason. Doing what you propose is a liberal choice, and we don't fuck with those. We could never compel people to have relationships who say they don't want to. All you would see is a slow disintegration of culture. This kind of happens locally sometimes when rural communities die. Ofc it's not directly comparable and economy plays a big part but occasionally, those kind of … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 27/07/25 09:20 AM |
| 6 | What is the Point of No Return for Being Single? How Long Does it Take for a Person to Realize They Missed the Chance to Get a Partner in This Life?At a certain age it will take a kind of self-destructiveness in order to change that. You have to absolutely bury the person you've been, reinvent yourself and be "reborn" in a sense. Because your whole life, for a long long time has been oriented around not having sex and not being in a relationship. It's likely colored of on everything about you, and thus everything has to go. That's a tall order which may or may not be advisable in each case. It may lead to that other life finally, or it may … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 27/07/25 09:03 AM |
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