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VegasZac Archive

View 1 posts and 60 comments by VegasZac on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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Upvotes Title Category Author Subreddit Date (UTC)
27

VegasZac/r/Divorce_Men08/02/23 02:38 PM
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
1

I did. Ex was a SAHM. She couldn’t afford to buy me out, and she agreed to a delayed buyout from me over several years (house had appreciated $100k in the 5 years since bought). I may have been dumber than a rock choosing to marry her, but at least I was smart enough to only put the mortgage in my name, which meant keeping my 2.9% rate. Wouldn’t have worked otherwise. It was the only way to keep the kids in the neighborhood with their friends and schools.
/r/Divorce_Men05/10/25 11:29 PM
10

Sorry you’re going through this man. Unfortunately it’s not uncommon… plenty of us out there. I’m 3 years out since my divorce was final. It will get better, but it will probably take some time. Grieve (but don’t let her see you) what you lost, and start putting one foot forward. Hire a lawyer, and file. Don’t wait for her, you set the narrative going forward. If you’re not a gym guy consider starting. If you’re not ready for that, do anything physical. Even long walks. I caught my ex in an affa…
/r/Divorce_Men29/03/25 10:34 AM
1

Congrats on being free of the alimony chains man. I managed to scrape through without getting stuck with that BS, but happy to hear you’re now free of it too. Enjoy it!
/r/Divorce_Men12/08/24 10:14 PM
9

My favorite for the end of the journey - “I’m so happy I didn’t end up with the life I thought I wanted”
/r/Divorce_Men18/07/24 02:25 PM
3

Ask your lawyer, but I’d guess same way it does in every state. You give her an equivalent share of assets you’d have gotten, or you refinance, or take out a loan. Or, much harder, but something I got my cheating ex to agree to was a delayed buy out. I owe her the roughly $100k over a period of 10 years. Paid $20k up front out of my HELOC, and then I owe the remaining balance - half at year 5, half at year 10. I was the only one on the mortgage so I was able to keep my 2.9% rate (and keep the ki…
/r/Divorce_Men17/07/24 10:20 AM
3

Nope, you’re not. Keep on moving forward, there’s a whole shit ton of us who are in it or have been that can’t wait to see you make it through to the other side. I know I sound ridiculous (cause I’d have said the same) but… the hell does end, and it really does get better.
/r/Divorce_Men09/07/24 01:37 PM
1

You need both IMO. My opinion is that too many guys prioritize the looks only and ignore the red flags on personality. And end up in this sub. Shoot, I’m one of them. Attraction is important but looks will fade. Shitty personalities rarely fade.
/r/Divorce_Men05/07/24 08:54 PM
3

Your boundaries are exactly that… your boundaries. And they are perfectly acceptable. If not to her, that’s not your problem. I have the same boundaries. Went through divorce hell like all of us here and I’m not keen to do it again. I’m currently just over 2 years into my current relationship and my gf is just fine. I was very up front when it was obvious we’d continue seeing each other after the first few dates - I will never, ever get married again. And, while I’m not closed off to cohabitatin…
/r/Divorce_Men05/07/24 10:15 AM
7

Listen to these guys… it will get better and you will get through it. I remember reading those comments when I found out my ex was cheating and I decided to kick her to the curb… I thought those guys were insane saying I wouldn’t just survive, but be happy it happened. I’m 2.5 years since I discovered her affair, roughly 2 years since filing, and about 1.5 years since it was final… never been happier. Having said that… you got some tough days ahead… follow the advice of the gym, hobbies, and fri…
/r/Divorce_Men07/06/24 09:43 AM
8

I bought mine less than a month after finding about my now ex-wife’s affair (or at least the first one I discovered). My “healing journey” has 2 wheels, 3 cylinders, and 890cc’s churning out around 105HP. I’m long since over her and her BS, but when life gets a little challenging a twist of the throttle is all I need to forget about it. I continue to enjoy my “healing journey” every chance I get. 😁
/r/Divorce_Men22/05/24 03:46 PM
2

Great advice. Enjoy your lattes, brother.
/r/Divorce_Men01/03/24 01:53 PM
1

Ugh, I’m sorry to hear that OP. My sister did this to my dad back in ‘96… hasn’t talked to him since. According to her he did horrible, unforgivable things, but has never elaborated on them. I grew up in the same household, and through the same divorce which happened about 2 years prior. I never observed unforgivable behavior. I also tend to think she’s full of crap because she started doing this, then when a previously planned trip to the UK was coming up 6 months into her behavior, she magical…
/r/Divorce_Men16/01/24 04:37 PM
2

Hang in there my dude. Eventually the good days will outnumber the bad. It ebbs and flows and is all ok and valid. Keep moving forward.
/r/Divorce_Men14/01/24 11:51 PM
8

“You are a project of a lifetime. A project whose direction has changed, but whose work isn’t done.” Well put. You have so much more ahead OP. You’re in the worst of it now, but you’re walking a path many thousands of men have walked before you, and sadly, many more thousands will after. You will persevere like the rest of us. I, and many others on this sub, are living examples that it can and will get better.
/r/Divorce_Men25/12/23 02:58 AM
1

RI 2 kids 50/50 (11 and 5 at time of divorce) Me $165k give or take depending on bonus, her around $10k at time of divorce, now I’ve no idea but I’d guess around $25-30k No alimony, I pay health/dental premiums and copays, everything else is 50/50. I get the older kid, she gets the younger for taxes. $2000/month. In RI you’re done when the kid turns 18 or graduates HS, whichever comes later. You can agree to more through college but we didn’t, and I’d have been a stick in the mud on that one… ri…
/r/Divorce_Men19/12/23 02:46 PM
2

Chucked it in the ocean on the southernmost tip of New Zealand’s South Island. I live in New England USA. Figured it’s about as far away from me as you can get. The whole trip (Australia, NZ, and Singapore) was about 2 months after it finalized and was a celebration of my new life getting rolling… it seemed fitting.
/r/Divorce_Men04/11/23 02:25 PM
2

Biggest new change was implementing and sticking with a gym regimen. I’d never been a gym guy and now I’m almost 2 years in. It kind of ebbs and flows how much I get there each week but it’s always at least 2x a week. Never did that before. I also re-discovered old hobbies I’d neglected or quit doing - namely skiing and motorcycle riding. Dating you’ll find mixed advice and best thing I can say is one size does not fit all when it comes to this. I feel good about who I’m with and the firm bounda…
/r/Divorce_Men28/10/23 06:02 PM
2

Got mine to agree to a delayed buyout… money comes in stages over a period of time. It allowed me to not refi as there’s no way I could come up with that much cash up front. However, I was the only one on the mortgage in the first place. My parents did something similar when I was a kid. I sold it to the ex as the only way to keep the kids in the house/neighborhood/school, which was true. Her lawyer hated it, guy was an absolute dirtbag. Fortunately she eventually got on board with it. DM me if …
/r/Divorce_Men07/10/23 08:51 PM
4

…and then the camper, and then the vacation(s). Man, are you me? This hits home… it was never ever enough. Thanks for sharing.
/r/Divorce_Men14/09/23 10:59 AM
1

Do you have a budget? I’m in RI… I ski in the winter. It’s a great activity with my kids and fun solo too. Initial cost can be steep but also affordable if you buy used gear. A season pass can be reasonable if bought early and not at a big name mountain. It helped I own my own gear from prior to divorce and my mom leases equipment for my kids each year as a Christmas present. I ride a motorcycle in the spring/summer/fall and it’s a great release. An entry level bike can be had for a few thousand…
/r/Divorce_Men13/09/23 07:24 PM
16

Sorry bobby2286… I’m sure you’re a decent dude, and my lawyer seemed one as well. He definitely didn’t screw me over but certainly opened my eyes to just how corrupt the system is. Your outcome could all depend on who had the better relationship with the judge, or the lawyer she picked. All of which is highly subjective and a total crapshoot while your life as a father hangs in the balance. Sorry to say, it’s nothing personal but a life goal I’ve added since my divorce is to do my part to put yo…
/r/MensRights13/09/23 10:30 AM
1

Nope. Never. Once I found out who she really was, I could never do it. I get grossed out thinking about her now. She dyed her hair bleach blonde like she did when she was 18, but has the face of a 50 year old (she’s 41… alcohol abuse will do that to ya). She looks and acts trashy as hell now… makes it easy to be repulsed by her.
/r/Divorce_Men11/09/23 02:06 PM
3

Yep. Been cheated on in 3 of the serious relationships in my life. First I was 21 and she was 18… had no idea what the feeling was but something was wrong. She broke up with me a few days after I got the feeling… would later find out she’d met some other guy. Second I was engaged, she started spending a bunch of time with a guy at work, and I got the feeling again. Literally came home and was like “this is it” and she’d left. Third time I was actually married and got the feeling about my ex wife…
/r/Divorce_Men15/07/23 01:44 PM
5

Enjoy Cali man, I lived in San Diego for 8 years. I read your other post about your situation… leave her in your past and never look back. Better days are ahead.
/r/Divorce_Men13/07/23 01:12 AM
1

This is great advice, I hope OP takes it. My ex left a bunch of sentimental stuff behind - I gave her a window of time to get it and when she didn’t I threw it out over the course of several weeks (there was a lot of stuff). It was almost cathartic each week dumping it in the trash bin. I can only imagine the same for OP throwing those rocks in the lake. Hope he sheds himself of the dead weight of this woman and realizes how much better life can be after he pushes through this dark period.
/r/Divorce_Men07/07/23 11:31 AM
9

That judge should be fired and lose their retirement. I realize that’s not going to happen but it’s amazing how those with the most power (the power to arbitrarily ruin a life) have the least oversight
/r/Divorce_Men06/07/23 03:06 PM
1

Chucked it into the ocean from the southernmost tip of the South Island of New Zealand. A couple of months after my divorce finalized I took a trip to Australia and NZ, something I’ve wanted to do since I was a kid. I figured it was a good way to get rid of the thing since it was finally legally finished and have it be physically about as far away from me as it could when I got back home (I live in the Northeast USA). Felt pretty good to throw it out there, I have to admit.
/r/Divorce_Men28/06/23 11:15 AM
5

What are they doing with all that free time? Finding other men to cheat with, in the case of my ex. Seems like that was her full time job even when the kids were out of school.
/r/Divorce_Men15/05/23 10:01 AM
2

Yamaha Tracer 9 GT here. Gave up riding about a year after we married. Always said I’d get back in to it, guess I had to get rid of the ex-wife for that to happen. I’d take that trade every time!
/r/Divorce_Men06/05/23 11:50 AM
2

Made steak and mashed potatoes for my daughter and I (my 6 y.o. Son doesn’t eat steak yet… someday) and had a glass of bourbon. Ok, it may have been more than 1 glass. Just kind of breathed a sigh of relief and went to sleep. Got up the next day and continued making my new life what I want it to be. It wasn’t a celebration so much as savoring a moment in time. Hope it happens for you soon my dude, hang in there.
/r/Divorce_Men04/05/23 04:08 PM
7

Can’t you set boundaries on your time with them? She shouldn’t be setting up playdates for them on your time…. You can do that yourself with the friend’s parents directly. My ex pulled that too and I shut it down right away… your time with them is your time. And swapping out seats is ridiculous… keep your car locked without keys available to her. That’s your private space, she should have no more access than any stranger off the streets, because outside of necessary co-parenting that’s all she i…
/r/Divorce_Men30/04/23 02:05 PM
3

Also can confirm. Got my papers on 2/4, coming up on my filing almost a year ago. Caught her cheating in the fall of 2021 after 11 years together and it crushed me. I was where you are now for a few months, it’ll pass, get better, and then get really exceptional. I couldn’t be happier now and never thought I’d feel that way a year and a half ago. You couldn’t pay me any sum of money to be with her again.
/r/Divorce_Men24/04/23 01:05 PM
4

I think the issue is that many assume that faithfulness is part of this contract of marriage. It’s not. Only the entitlements to finances really are. What’s baffling to me after going through the clown show of divorce is that this is somehow legally enforceable. Show me a contract anywhere else that isn’t written down anywhere, the parties signing aren’t given those terms at the time of signing, and those terms are subjective in any state you live in. Got married in TX but moved to CA 11 years i…
/r/Divorce_Men02/04/23 12:20 PM
2

Riot - 3 Days Grace; Just Like You - 3 Days Grace; I Will Not Bow - Breaking Benjamin; Just Go - Staind; I’m Broken - Pantera; Wind of Change - The Scorpions; Numb - Linkin Park; Castle of Glass - Linkin Park; Did My Time - Korn; Let’s Do this Now - Korn; Hail to the King - Avenged Sevenfold; Wrong Side of Heaven - 5 Finger Death Punch; Happy - Mudvayne; And for when I turned the corner and realized my life was actually on an upswing and getting her out of my life was a good thing… got my freedo…
/r/Divorce_Men31/03/23 12:32 PM
3

I have a similar situation at 40, but I don’t think that’s common for most on here. Life is peaceful but the strain between the mortgage and child support will make it lean for a few years. Savings are totally wiped out as well. I’m just thankful my divorce didn’t go the route of so many others.
/r/Divorce_Men24/03/23 05:02 PM
3

She’s entitled to get to the same “level” for being married for 6 months?!? WTH…. System is so broken.
/r/Divorce_Men18/03/23 05:25 AM
2

WITH your daughter?!? Check with a lawyer in your area, but where I live that’s good leverage to gain a hand up in a custody battle. If you have solid evidence of it, the court doesn’t look kindly on having strange, unknown men around young children. I didn’t end up having to use it (I’m one of the few who’s ex managed to see the light of reason in not making it into a battle), but kept it in my back pocket per my lawyers advice.
/r/Divorce_Men11/03/23 10:13 PM
1

Lots of great stuff mentioned here, much of which I’ve done. Prior to our split I taught my daughter to ski. Just taught my son this year… proudest moment watching him “get it” and take off on his own. And then seeing them ski together. It’s something my ex will never do with them, so it’s completely our thing.
/r/Divorce_Men02/03/23 03:06 PM
2

Nice man! February 4th was mine. Enjoy your freedom!
/r/Divorce_Men10/02/23 11:10 PM
2

Haha, yup. I’ve said the same to many people. Sorry? For my kids maybe. I’m not sorry for me at all!
/r/Divorce_Men10/02/23 10:44 AM
1

RI. Left CA in 2015. Given the marriage laws there I’m so glad I did!
/r/Divorce_Men10/02/23 10:43 AM
3

Dude.. I’m sorry and f that. That “judge” doesn’t deserve to continue to have a job. This is the kind of stuff that needs to come to light and be publicized. Unfortunately… women will never care on a large scale, and men only when it affects them and they find out. Seriously though, that judge needs to go.
/r/Divorce_Men22/12/22 03:27 AM
9

I realize this won’t change your views, and it makes zero sense why you’re in a men’s divorce sub commenting about how we “have no idea” as many of the men posting in here make their hill to die on in their divorce is just getting 50% custody. Let that sink in - they have to fight for their lives just to get 50%. And many times they also stay too long in a toxic, abusive relationship just to avoid losing time with their kids. I was one of them. As for my personal situation… the SAHM work I’d “ha…
/r/Divorce_Men21/12/22 10:27 PM
3

Yep, I’ve heard that from co-workers who live in MA. I’m in RI and it’s not terrible. Alimony guidelines aren’t super clear but my SAHM ex had a degree and experience in her field from 13 years ago. My lawyer told me at worst I’d get a year or two of rehabilitative alimony, or none. If you can work, RI wants you to work. Fortunately when she started seeing her lawyer bills climb she decided she didn’t want to fight. Ended up with no alimony and I pay about 1/4 of my net monthly for 2 kids. CS st…
/r/Divorce_Men15/12/22 04:37 PM
2

Should’ve never begged for anything. Just moved on. Oh well, many of us (me included) are guilty of that to some degree. Water under the bridge at this point my man. Time to reclaim your sense of self-worth and file. She won’t be coming back. Highly likely she’s cheating too with zero intimacy for that length of time. Make your plan. File first if you still can. And get out. I’m over a year in since catching her cheating. Legal stuff is done, just running out the clock (my state has a cooling of…
/r/Divorce_Men11/12/22 05:39 AM
2

Nah, don’t do it. I tried man, for the same reasons. I lasted 2 months trying to just live with a cheating wife. Couldn’t do it. Maybe others can but I doubt it if they’re honest. Kick to her to the street where she belongs and move on with your life now. Still waiting on the final decree but the legal stuff is done. In my state there’s a 90 day cooling-off period but it would take major new discovery or both parties to cancel at this point. I’m sitting on cruise control running out the clock. J…
/r/Divorce_Men06/12/22 11:15 AM
10

Correction: never let her become the legal wife in the first place!
/r/Divorce_Men06/12/22 11:11 AM
9

Hang in there man. I caught mine cheating last October. Sleepless nights, couldn’t eat, felt paralyzed. I’m pretty even-keel naturally so it was quite a shock to not be able to snap myself out of it. Do the gym. Even when you don’t want to. Stop looking at social media - it’s trash anyway. What’d you do before her that you don’t anymore? For me it was riding motorcycles… so I went and bought one and hit the road when I can. 2 kids I have 50% of the time so not a ton of free time but I take advan…
/r/Divorce_Men06/12/22 11:08 AM
4

Congrats man! I’ve read your story and noticed your comments on many others. Enjoy the peace and freedom, expensive as it may have been.
/r/Divorce_Men15/11/22 03:34 PM
8

I went through this too… lasted 2 months for me. This guy’s advice is spot on - there is no way but the long road my friend. Keep your head up! It truly is better on the other side.
/r/Divorce_Men07/08/22 01:09 PM
1

She makes six figures and is still receiving spousal support? The system needs reformed… now. That’s absurd.
/r/Divorce_Men16/07/22 12:16 PM
2

We DMd awhile back… There’s never a good time man… if you’re ready and done with her crap then just do it. Be the man and dad your kids need you to be and file. Every day that passes for me is a day closer to my freedom from her (also a lying, cheating whore)… however long that may end up being it’s still one day closer. There’s nothing stopping you from getting there but yourself. Time to do it.. good luck brother!
/r/Divorce_Men10/07/22 06:51 PM
4

Thanks man, I needed to read this today. Looking forward to my first day of peace and not having to be on my toes. It’s amazing how they step outside the relationship to get something they think they’re missing, but feel entitled to all our support when the chickens come home to roost. Also looking forward to finding someone or someone’s who actually want to be with me when I get to that point. Thanks for cheering me up!
/r/Divorce_Men30/05/22 11:19 AM
5

Hang in there man… if you’re at that mindset just days in you’re leaps and bounds ahead of the game. Took me a month before I even thought about leaving in any real capacity. Still working through the divorce now… it sucks but it absolutely gets better.
/r/Divorce_Men28/05/22 05:46 PM
3

Currently cohabitating and it’s hell. Filed last week of December. She made it clear tonight she’s going to fight to make me sell the house (after saying she’d do anything to keep her kids in it). She can’t afford it, and per her comments clearly doesn’t understand that if I can afford to buy her out she can’t make me move. Can’t wait for the day she has to pack her crap (literally and figuratively) and go.
/r/Divorce_Men08/02/22 04:15 AM
7

Good for you, my man! I’m currently navigating my divorce from my cheating STBXW. Would be married 12 years in April. No idea when I’ll be ready for dating again, definitely not soon, but… good to hear a success story and hope for my future! (Definitely won’t marry again but I do enjoy the companionship of a woman. And the sex, if in the cards, of course.)
/r/Divorce_Men05/02/22 01:43 AM
4

How’d you get downvoted for this? Gave you an upvote - makes sense to me. I’m also navigating through my divorce. I’m also not interested in marriage ever again, and don’t really know how I feel about cohabitation. I am interested in companionship and, of course, enjoy the sex. No longer interested in taking care of them and putting up with the drama. I was fat and awkward in high school and didn’t get my first real girlfriend until I was 19 so had something of a scarcity mentality. That carried…
/r/Divorce_Men03/02/22 11:34 AM
5

Holy crap dude. Red flags all over the place. She’s checked out and cheating. EA at best, and PA/EA at worst. (Not that an EA is a good scenario at all) My wife of 12 years apparently decided she no longer “felt the passion” and found some dirtbag from her high school to have an EA with (strongly suspect PA as well). Yours asked for an open relationship? Wow. Like I said… red flags all over. Anyways… what do do? First… no cash app. Let her get mad and argue. Shut down and don’t engage. You don’t…
/r/Divorce_Men02/02/22 01:21 AM
3

Good for you sir! I bent over backwards to keep her happy and it was never enough. Proof of infidelity found at the end of October, filed end of December. Used to ride and bought myself a new Yamaha Tracer 9 GT in November. Counting my days until it’s finalized, trying to keep positive even though this will be a massive financial hit. Keep the negative thoughts of how bad I’m getting screwed because she cheated at bay with exercise and and eye on my future. Keep moving forward one day at a time.…
/r/Divorce_Men01/02/22 01:41 AM
1

Well written sir, as someone starting this journey myself, your words are very helpful!
/r/Divorce_Men22/01/22 03:31 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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