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Vex_Appeal Archive

View 4 posts and 79 comments by Vex_Appeal on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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3

Possibly! Too early to tell, but it looks good. Wife asked for a divorce about eight weeks ago. For the first seven I was utterly miserable. She found a new guy within a month and I found out. Well, a week ago a girl from my past, came back into my life and it’s been absolutely amazing. She’s everything my wife wasn’t and more. Basically, we both think that for the past two decades, we’ve been trying to make this work and that we’re finally ready for each other. Since the divorce stuff started, …
/r/Divorce_Men19/08/26 08:06 PM
1

Yeah because I haven’t been available for 10 years and she’s always thought about me. Same for me. Last few exes were emotionally unavailable men. So the relationships were doomed because she’s very open and needs that reciprocated. On the other hand I’m probably too available emotionally, I have to wrangle myself in. So she feels like a kid in a candy store. And I feel that way about her because of how sexual she is and how dead my bedroom was for eight years. We both feel so lucky. Her bedroom…
/r/Divorce_Men19/08/26 03:43 PM
2

Awesome man. Things keep getting better and better over here. She’s in for the long haul and understands the trauma I’m bringing.
/r/Divorce_Men19/08/26 03:34 PM
1

She did! And then didn’t tell me for three weeks. Trust me, I’m not dragging my feet anymore.
/r/Divorce_Men19/08/26 03:13 PM
9

10 years down the drain over here. You’re describing my experience down to the cuddly obsessive behavior for 10 years, destroyed in a few months of her clearly not giving a shit about what happens to me. People are gonna tell you to get in the gym, to focus on yourself and become better, find out who you are. But you do all those things so that you can eventually be a partner someone else would want to be with instead of a broken heart that can’t move on. Reach out to exes, get online dating, do…
/r/Divorce_Men19/08/26 03:12 PM
3

Brother, my STBXW fucked a guy and started dating another within a 4 week period after leaving. If anything I moved slow compared to her. I waited 2 months to start dating and only after finding out she had already moved on and was never coming back home. Can’t break your vows again if your wife already broke them Also I lift 5-6 x a week and have a weight lifting background and I’m on steroids. That’s more than enough time to recomp.
/r/Divorce_Men18/08/26 09:33 AM
1

It’s been 2 months, there’s still going to be things I’m doing that I won’t be doing for much longer. For now? It’s impossible to not compare the dead bedroom im divorcing to the sexual awakening me and my girl are both experiencing with each other. She wasn’t attracted to her ex. She’s attracted to me though, that’s for damn sure.
/r/Divorce_Men18/08/26 09:29 AM
1

Yeah I cant remember the last time I was this happy. Some of these guys are just upset, I get it, I really do. But sometimes wonderful things just fall in your lap.
/r/Divorce_Men18/08/26 09:27 AM
1

Because all this pain was worth the good years I had with my wife and I’m ready and willing to try again with someone hotter that’s crazy about me. More than my wife ever was.
/r/Divorce_Men18/08/26 09:25 AM
0

Nah you’re retarded. She kept trying to rush me to get to her new guy and now she’s not anymore because I told her i know the real reason she is trying to rush me. She didn’t respect me until I called that out and told her I forgive her for it. And it hasn’t bothered me since, that was me letting it go.
/r/Divorce_Men18/08/26 09:24 AM
1

Well if you can reconnect with a past lover that you’ve always been in love with since you met her, do it! I have felt sad a few times over the past few days but overall I can’t remember when I was this happy. A gorgeous woman loves me.
/r/Divorce_Men18/08/26 09:20 AM
1

Who? lol but seriously, I don’t care what she’s up to anymore. Like I said, I feel so lucky and like I don’t deserve this. But I’m not going to fuck it up by worrying about any of that.
/r/Divorce_Men18/08/26 09:19 AM
8

No, this is worlds apart. I knew I was settling for my wife, and i’ve known this other woman for 20 years. This chick is out of my league but she’s crazy about me. Sure, this is the honeymoon phase. That doesn’t mean it’s not going to work just because we’re gonna leave that phase eventually.
/r/Divorce_Men17/08/26 07:32 PM
1

This is what I’m doing. And a dime piece from my past came back into my life. I go to upgrade while she’s dating some loser over four hours away that is currently still married and has kids. She hates kids lol. Have fun watching Coco Melon you dusty bitch.
/r/Divorce_Men17/08/26 07:29 PM
2

No this sounds like a him problem specifically. I’m a guy with more female friends than male by a lot. They all have helped me in different ways. I’ve gotten closer to all of them because of it.
/r/Divorce_Men17/08/26 06:52 PM
7

10 year relationship. 4 years. I knew it was over for at least a year and was mourning but still trying to make it work.
/r/Divorce_Men17/08/26 04:45 PM
0

It’s good timing and bad timing in the sense that we are both newly single but that’s because of my divorce and her breakup. But we’ve known each other for almost 20 years so this isn’t a normal rebound situation. Guys are sometimes lucky enough to meet their second and final wife while going through the divorce with her first one. It happens and I hope I’m one of them.
/r/Divorce_Men17/08/26 04:37 PM
4

It was like I got clarity. I instantly stopped giving a shit what my STBXW was up to. In fact, I called her and told her that I knew about her new boyfriend and that I didn’t care. That I was just gonna let it go.
/r/Divorce_Men17/08/26 04:36 PM
2

Bingo. At least a year of it at the end I was fucking done. I was tired of not being wanted especially when I was the catch and I settled. She dumped me but I’m going to “win” the divorce because my life got better across the board. Hers, not so much. Now a girl out of my league that’s obsessed with me. I know that I’m only pressing pause on the pain though. And I’ve told her as much. That it’s gonna come back.
/r/Divorce_Men17/08/26 04:34 PM
1

Yeah, like today was about getting back on track for my own stuff. I’m gonna go to the gym and therapy is today also. It feels pretty fucking healing to get love from a woman hotter and more amazing than the woman that waked out on you. Especially since I’ve known this girl almost 20 years.
/r/Divorce_Men17/08/26 04:28 PM
2

You guys sound bitter. Probably need to get laid and then you’ll understand.
/r/Divorce_Men17/08/26 04:28 PM
4

lol ok well I’ll cry all the way to the bed she’s waiting for me. I’ve known this girl for 18 years. This isn’t the typical situation, this is someone I’ve wanted for the majority of my time on this earth. We have a history.
/r/Divorce_Men17/08/26 04:27 PM
1

Oh, I definitely don’t want her back. I’m actually talking to an ex I’ve known for decades again. And she’s newly single as well. She’s coming over Friday.
/r/Divorce_Men13/08/26 03:55 PM
1

I had access to her social media in the beginning. She may have thought about it before, but she never made any actions until after the separation. Damn near immediately, but it was all after. Shit, I even told her that I knew last night and the conversation went pretty well. I told her I wanna let go of it. Main reason is, I started getting attention from an ex. I’ve always wanted back. So I kinda don’t care what she’s doing anymore.
/r/Divorce_Men13/08/26 03:53 PM
1

So far she’s put up half of the mortgage since this has happened. And is going to do that again next month. And she offered to send me money for about a fourth of the mortgage going forward after that.
/r/Divorce_Men13/08/26 03:51 PM
1

No, she filed Pro Se. And she’s done the math and apparently she can offer me money every month to help with the house and afford her new apartment.
/r/Divorce_Men13/08/26 03:41 PM
1

I think I got about three sentences or so. I meant my vows, and I still don’t wanna break them. It’s been less than two months. But yeah she completely let go and started dating someone new. I’m telling her, not to berate her, I truly want to let it go because I’m getting some attention of my own and that honestly made me care about what she’s doing a WHOLE lot less.
/r/Divorce_Men12/08/26 04:01 PM
1

I can see her online and phone history. No contact prior to the separation. She probably wanted to cheat for a long time and just didn’t waste anytime after filing on me and not telling me.
/r/Divorce_Men11/08/26 03:15 PM
2

My point was only that she didn’t plan this out weeks in advance. Her parents, the people she was going to run to weren’t even in town.
/r/Divorce_Men11/08/26 03:13 PM
3

Yeah I got told I did everything right and she was the villain. Doesn’t make it hurt any less whatsoever. If anything, the pain of not being able to do anything about it hurts worse than knowing what I did wrong.
/r/Divorce_Men11/08/26 03:10 PM
1

“How did we get here?! How on earth did you not speak up a year ago when we could’ve done something about it?!” Wish I said that. It broke my brain so I just said “ok, anything else?” And walked away. 10 years and she’s treating it like it was a summer fling. The switch up is insanely painful. I don’t know how she expects me to pay for the house on my own. How can I get a better job if I’m still bleeding all over the floor and in too much pain to think straight. I dunno man it just feels like sh…
/r/Divorce_Men10/08/26 03:14 AM
6

I guess it could be worse, she could’ve wasted another 5, 10, or 15 years of my life
/r/Divorce_Men06/08/26 10:30 PM
13

She pulled the old “ I was lying to myself” thing. So for two years?! No, she knew something was wrong and didn’t communicate anything about it. She knew that she didn’t like having sex with me years ago. In fact, the only reason I married her is because she said we could open the marriage if we didn’t figure out the sex stuff. Then when it came time, she conveniently forgot that conversation. This bitch doesn’t forget anything.
/r/Divorce_Men06/08/26 10:29 PM
2

I can almost prove with 100% certainty that she was not in communication with these guys until after the separation. Basically, I can see where she asked for their numbers. She’s on my phone plan. And I can see that she didn’t communicate with them anytime before that.
/r/Divorce_Men06/08/26 10:27 PM
12

I brought it up multiple times and each time she would disarm me with a pretty good sounding story. Redirect and reassure me. Trust me, I begged her to tell me what was wrong for over year. She never went any period of time neglected. For example, she said that sometimes relationships, one person is chasing the other and then sometimes it changes and that’s ok. Or the week before, she told me that I wasn’t even losing her. That she loves me and that she loves that when she goes out, she gets to …
/r/Divorce_Men06/08/26 10:26 PM
8

Well, without going too deep into it, I can confirm with almost 100% certainty that she didn’t reach out to either one of them to have sex until after the separation. I can see where she was asking for their numbers because she didn’t have them. That seems like good enough proof.
/r/Divorce_Men06/08/26 10:25 PM
10

She did a bad job planning financially, she won’t be able to afford her debt without my paycheck. I’m not sure how she’s gonna get an apartment.
/r/Divorce_Men06/08/26 10:24 PM
10

Man I wish I had even 1 year heads up. 3 months even. This blindsided me. We have been going on dates, we have been intimate, and we had been cuddling on the couch, playing video games together. Like I kept the flowers that I bought for her a few days before she asked for a divorce. I keep them as a reminder that I hadn’t given up, that I was still fighting for her at the end. Even if she wasn’t.
/r/Divorce_Men06/08/26 04:40 PM
4

Especially her family. I really should’ve listened to her when she said “ we don’t have difficult conversations”
/r/Divorce_Men06/08/26 03:55 PM
8

So do we just have to assume that they are lying? And just look at actions? She would fix things so it made me think that she was actually committed. I just thought people got ultimatums or went to couples therapy before this kind of stuff happened. It feels like she set me up by reassuring me. That way, I could never fight for the marriage because I was being told everything was A-OK.
/r/Divorce_Men06/08/26 03:54 PM
5

Jesus. I hope mins comes to her senses one day. I really don’t think this is the “real her”. I think something broke in her brain.
/r/Divorce_Men06/08/26 03:53 PM
5

She was awful and made my life miserable for two years and then dumped me. Oh well, I was always the catch. I’m back in the gym 4/5 time’s a week, therapy 2-3 a month, I’m going to concerts and living life. But this week? I’m depressed. It’s not linear I even if you are doing the right things.
/r/Divorce_Men05/08/26 07:00 PM
16

Yeah she initiated the divorce and one day I’ll thank her. Sometimes the trash takes itself out. I am hurt by the betrayal but I feel so much better in this house without her sucking all the energy out of the room.
/r/Divorce_Men05/08/26 03:34 PM
1

This is why I don’t want to start looking now. I’m not ready. I can let her make that mistake solo.
/r/Divorce_Men02/08/26 05:28 PM
1

I can see the divorce petition online myself, she filed a no fault pro se divorce, she just didn’t tell me. You have to either list your attorney or claim that you’re going to do it pro se. She put pro se. The only mistake or cause for concern in the paperwork was that she listed the car as personal property, but it was bought after we got married and was paid for with joint funds entirely. She hasn’t done much of her own research so she thought because the car was in her name that I didn’t have…
/r/Divorce_Men24/07/26 06:15 PM
1

So she filed online. And then just didn’t say anything or do anything to get me to sign the petition or waiver. So technically, I am not even legally aware that I’m being divorced. Is there anything I should do now before I get served?
/r/Divorce_Men24/07/26 06:13 PM
3

See that’s what I’m trying to avoid. Her lawyering up using her parents money because she convinced them somehow that I’m coming after her. It’s a breath of fresh air to speak to someone that actually knows what they’re talking about. There ain’t shit I can do right now, when you exposed yours she got a lawyer and made your life harder. I really don’t want that to happen. So for now it’s just gonna stay in my back pocket. I’m just using the Notes app and I’m using different pages for the differe…
/r/Divorce_Men24/07/26 06:09 PM
1

Neither of us wants to, nor has the money to hire a lawyer. So we’re gonna do this pro se. So far I’m getting everything I want. The house and all the furniture and appliances in it, my two favorite cats, and she’s gonna take all of her debt with her. Why would I pay a lawyer when all that would do is eat into what I’m already winning? She claims she’s the bad guy in the villain so I’m going to use that to my advantage and get what I want first. Then I’ll expose her if I still care then.
/r/Divorce_Men24/07/26 05:20 PM
2

We have three cats and she’s getting one of them. I’m fine with this arrangement and happy that I get to see her when my STBXW is out of town Because the court doesn’t care if it happens after the separation. So in essence, it doesn’t matter. But I am continuing to document it all in case this pro se thing doesn’t work out. I could threaten to file my answer as an at fault infidelity divorce and get a lawyer. I also could tell people that she’s not actually on a self-discovery journey and it’s j…
/r/Divorce_Men24/07/26 05:18 PM
5

That’s a personal question only you can answer. I might be biased, but I’m always gonna be on the side of trying to make it work. Going to counseling separately and together. People rarely regret putting too much effort into the relationship, they more regret, not giving it enough fight that it deserved. 10 years? That deserves a good faith attempt at reconciliation. Feelings change, but sometimes you find if you stick around you fall back in love with your wife or you learn how to love her in d…
/r/Divorce_Men24/07/26 04:40 PM
6

Fuck bud, feel pretty similar and same age but she just asked for one last month. Married 4 and together 10. She just stopped feeling the same and decided it was a good idea to not say anything until asking for a divorce. I’m not sure how I’m ever gonna love anyone ever again or trust anyone but I’m telling myself it’s possible. I think what you first have to do is work on yourself and find out who you are and what you like. If you have a good idea of what that is, you might be ready to start da…
/r/Divorce_Men09/07/26 03:15 AM
4

Time to open a bunch of credit cards up and max them out. And start building an emergency rainy day fund.
/r/Divorce_Men09/07/26 12:15 AM
0

Wife asked for a divorce a few weeks ago and is already talking about serving me/me signing a waiver so I don’t have to deal with a cop. Seems fast for a 10+ years relationship that she blindsided me out of after saying she loved me every day. I want to drag my feet, the slower the better because we are upside down on the house and both cars. No end in sight because nothing is signed.
/r/Divorce_Men08/07/26 11:40 PM
1

She left. Me and the cats 🤣. Took our only car though but it’s upside down, she can have it. And she has to move in with her parents that I could never get her to call. She doesn’t even like them and was abused in that house. Not by them but still. All because 2 years ago, her feelings changed and she decided not to say a damn word about it until asking for a divorce. Just lying to me the whole time and telling me I was doing things right and that she loved me. So yeah, I better get the fucking …
/r/Divorce_Men04/07/26 03:38 AM
9

It sucks pretty bad. I’d go to therapy or counseling to figure out why you want to torch a situation most would be jealous to have. If she’s truly a good woman and hot, there might be something wrong with you. At the very least you should give this decision a lot of fucking care because there’s no takesy backsies. Your kid will statistically be at a disadvantage as soon as you sign the paperwork. He’s going to find a way to blame himself when he understands what happened. Hopefully he likes you …
/r/Divorce_Men04/07/26 12:45 AM
1

Why do you say not to move out of the house? That’s currently what I’m doing. Trying not to
/r/Divorce_Men03/07/26 03:36 AM
1

It doesn’t make it any less scary. I truly don’t know what’s going to happen next. Just gonna try and control what I can control.
/r/Divorce_Men02/07/26 04:10 PM
13

“ my family doesn’t have difficult conversations” This is a woman that for two years, that kept it to herself that her feelings started to change. Then after telling me for years that she loved me and I was doing everything right, she just asked for a divorce out of nowhere. And the way she’s acting is like I was abusive or neglectful and I definitely was not. In fact she was, but I’m still being treated like a monster.
/r/Divorce_Men02/07/26 01:27 PM
1

Hahahaha. I doubt I’ll get this but she’s a fucking mess right now. I need to get out of her way. I’m going to the gym and catching up with old friends and flames 🤷🏽‍♂️
/r/Divorce_Men02/07/26 01:38 AM
1

This wasn’t correct. Judges in Texas absolutely favor the party that proved the other one was cheating. It doesn’t mean you get everything. It just means you get more than 50-50. That being said, I’m just gonna let her go unless something obvious pops up out of nowhere like someone texts me about it.
/r/Divorce_Men01/07/26 07:09 PM
1

It does but I am getting enough of what I want to not care if she’s cheating. Not my circus anymore.
/r/Divorce_Men01/07/26 07:08 PM
1

I’m gonna let sleeping dogs lie. All it’s gonna do is hurt to find out.
/r/Divorce_Men01/07/26 07:06 PM
1

I’m doing it. I’ve had breakdowns but minimized talking to her during. We’re getting along and I seem to be getting what I want.
/r/Divorce_Men01/07/26 07:06 PM
2

Lmao. I listened to you btw. I’m not so stupid that I can’t tell when I’m winning or losing. Keeping the peace is making everyone much happier than negotiation tables. Things are possible that wouldn’t be if we weren’t getting along. I feel bad for the guy that she’s cheating with though because we fucked the week before she asked. It seems like everybody had a good time, but who knows. Basically it doesn’t matter if she is or isn’t. Not to me. If she made a lot more money than me than maybe and…
/r/Divorce_Men01/07/26 07:01 PM
1

Things are looking good. I am getting the house, it was new when we got it 2 years ago and I maintain it damn well, she’s getting an upside down car with most of the payments left. All I need now is a roommate to pay even as low as $500 a month. And figure out a way to remove her name or reduce her liability if the house foreclosed. I can afford it on my own, comfortably with a roommate. Wish me luck, we’re still getting along right now.
/r/Divorce_Men01/07/26 06:59 PM
2

Howdy. Just joined the club. She asked for a divorce last Wednesday 3 days after our 10 year relationship anniversary. Met at 27. So I’m pretty scared of life alone, she blames herself and well I sure do too. I was fighting and I don’t feel she ever really did. She had changes in feelings, didn’t say anything for years even though I begged her to tell me, and now wants to end things with zero chance of reconciliation. I wasn’t perfect, but I was trying and she wasn’t. So sometimes it doesn’t mat…
/r/Divorce_Men25/06/26 07:29 PM
1

Gosh, there’s so many different hypotheticals. You have kids? Bring stuff relevant about them. Costs and specific child needs. House and cars? It’d be good to know how much they’re worth and how much you have paid into them together. Also, you need to find out what state specific laws apply here. What’s in both of y’all’s names? And does that even matter in your state? For some it all becomes community property after the marriage date. Do you even need a lawyer? Cheapest and best option is to ne…
/r/Divorce_Men24/06/26 07:01 PM
2

It WILL change the outcome though lol. In Texas you can file at fault divorce and present your case for infidelity. Judges here favor the person that proves the other spouse was cheating. Aka I’d get more than I’d get if we just try to do a fair split. She’s got a lot of money in 401(k) that she’s thinking I forgot about. I’m saying 50-60K where I only have 17K. I I could get around 30K if we split those accounts. More if she was cheating. I said somewhere else that if I keep getting what I want…
/r/Divorce_Men23/06/26 09:51 AM
1

Yeah, and a lot of divorce lawyers have one on staff or speed dial.
/r/Divorce_Men23/06/26 12:15 AM
2

Negotiating is working so far. Almost too well. It’s really confusing me. So I’ll keep playing nice as long as I keep getting what I want. She wasted 10 years of my life and used the fuck out of me. So yeah, I wanna be paid, if she’s difficult, I’ll remind her about her fat 401(k) accounts.
/r/Divorce_Men23/06/26 12:14 AM
1

She got on my phone plan a few months ago. So as careful as she might be, I’m sure there’s something in there. I can see all the numbers that she called and texted and all the ones that called and texted her.
/r/Divorce_Men23/06/26 12:12 AM
1

Thank you! I felt like I was crazy arguing with these people telling me that it didn’t matter at all. And that cheating isn’t illegal. That’s not what I was claiming. What I was claiming is that if you can prove adultery in Texas it helps your case. Right now she’s giving me what I want so I won’t go down that road. If she starts becoming difficult, I absolutely will hire a PI. She also forgot to stop sharing her location with someone.
/r/Divorce_Men23/06/26 12:12 AM
1

She’s got a lot of money in 401(k) accounts that she’s thinking I forgot about. If I catch her cheating, I’m definitely gonna remember those. She’s got a lot more to lose in this divorce. And I think she’s trying to rush me through it before I figure it out.
/r/Divorce_Men23/06/26 12:09 AM
1

OK, well I guess it varies by state because in Texas you can file an at-fault divorce. And the judge absolutely favors the person that proves the other person was cheating.
/r/Divorce_Men23/06/26 12:09 AM
1

I kinda enjoy her being the bad guy right now. And if she keeps bending over backwards, I don’t have much to complain about. I was always the settler and she was always the reacher so I’m gonna be fine. Could I get her to agree to let me see people outside of the marriage now or is that a can of worms I don’t wanna fuck with?
/r/Divorce_Men23/06/26 12:01 AM
3

We’re still married. If she’s seeing some guy, how is that not infidelity? She barely told me Wednesday. Nothing is filed. How does anybody catch their wife? Do they just get fucking lucky or what?
/r/Divorce_Men22/06/26 09:15 PM
1

How do I catch her? Maybe she gets sloppy and thinks she’s has me fooled because of the insane cooperation. I don’t know if she knows that I can see her call and text records. Is that really the only way that guy’s catch their wives or do they get lucky?
/r/Divorce_Men22/06/26 09:13 PM
3

Texas. And we would’ve had to have been married for 10 years for anyone to get it. We’re only at four years. Lived together for 10. She just paid three months of rent upfront, her half. I have had suspicions of infidelity for at least nine months. I even know who I think it is. She wouldn’t constantly talk about the guy and spend all her time with her friends and choose them over me over and over again.
/r/Divorce_Men22/06/26 09:11 PM
2

I thought if I found infidelity that I could just go to a lawyer and clean her out, and get more than I would get if I negotiated from stance of trying to be strictly fair? I used to make more than her, but now she makes more than me and has for a while. She’s got a lot of money in 401(k) that I think she’s forgotten. I know about. I helped her pay for her Ozempic and gave her shots every week. She’s leaving me as soon as she got happy with how much weight she lost. I helped her get her job too,…
/r/Divorce_Men22/06/26 08:34 PM
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