~ archived since 2018 ~
~ archived since 2018 ~
| Upvotes | Title | Category | Author | Subreddit | Date (UTC) |
|---|
| Upvotes | Comment on | Subreddit | Date (UTC) |
|---|---|---|---|
| 4 | 3 Years in - life on the other side of Divorcehe's been separated for three years, and he's taking accountability for the pain that he's caused. He's supposed to be a monk while waiting for her attorney to be done with him? | /r/Divorce_Men | 16/05/26 10:36 PM |
| 1 | If you have children, do you wish your Ex a “Happy Mother’s Day “ ?i did. debated for a beat, esp bc of an ongoing fear that too much "warm and friendly" could lead back to her codependent "as-if-we-were-still-married" behavior, which i've been doing my work to stay resistant to, AND which makes my long term partner insane and understandable ready to leave me if it happens again over. that said, I saw her Saturday night at the supermarket with her best friend and our daughter. Had a warm catch up with her friend who i hadn't seen in a year (and who i used to be… | /r/Divorce_Men | 11/05/26 04:21 PM |
| 2 | Need help to stop this urge to find women for sex.go to SLAA and get to the root of your feelings. if you're coming off of a porn addiction it's possible you're still looking to use sec to ease anxiety / depression / etc rather than treating the underlying issues. | /r/Divorce_Men | 12/03/26 12:15 AM |
| 1 | Never though I'd be here...consider SLAA for sure and AA if that makes sense. 12 step recovery programs (and actually working the steps) are extraordinary for accountability and boundaries and learning what is yours to carry and what is not. i had a similar history to you, got found out, separated, and never won her back after five years of trying. if i could have done anything differently, i would have gone to SLAA immediately, worked the steps faster, gotten my shit together faster, moved back in after my original tail-… | /r/Divorce_Men | 24/10/25 03:25 AM |
| 2 | I’m leaving work early tonight to go home and tell my wife I want a divorce.that's fair, i guess it's not just out of the blue then. i got the sense this was going to be a world-crashing shock for her, but it sounds like you've been clear a lot in the past, so if that's the case, leading with one may make sense. good luck. | /r/Divorce_Men | 15/10/25 01:54 AM |
| 8 | I’m leaving work early tonight to go home and tell my wife I want a divorce.why not lead with part 2? let her know you're challenged to your breaking point with where you're at, and need significant changes right now, ie, counseling and date nights and significant improvement by the end of the year. if she rebuffs, minimizes, withdraws, etc ... start contacting lawyers quietly. but since you love her, treat her with love, honesty, and a plan for success -- all of which you've got -- without the first part drama/shock/punch in the mouth. good luck. | /r/Divorce_Men | 13/10/25 11:01 PM |
| 1 | Divorce after cheatingtruly great advice here, OP. follow this. | /r/Divorce_Men | 01/09/25 04:35 AM |
| 2 | How bad is the Dissomaster screwing you over?in a new england state, 32% of my pre-tax salary goes to ex, (after taxes, of course.) 3 kids, one on their own, one in college (ie, still a dependent child) and one young teenager. 23.5 year marriage. when college kid graduates in a year, that will go down to 24% of my current pre-tax salary (salary might bump a bit, but the number will not, no matter where my salary goes) and that will last til the end of child support and alimony, 9 years. we agreed to one static $ amount until kid 2 graduate… | /r/Divorce_Men | 29/08/25 02:23 AM |
| 1 | Married Dad at end of limitthank you. but it reflects the hard earned wisdom in your post that i have to acknowledge: i CHOSE to put up with that BS. i might now have been able to super-speed it up, but there was time and again where MY actions, inactions, lack of boundaries, "good guy", weakness, failure, moaning and groaning without doing the hard work was responsible. so i hope other men can read this and say "okay, let's NOT do that." | /r/Divorce_Men | 23/08/25 11:23 PM |
| 3 | Married Dad at end of limitbest advice ever. wish i'd had it eleven years ago. moved out right away. separation/divorce dragged for ten years. | /r/Divorce_Men | 23/08/25 02:32 AM |
| 3 | Can you trust your lawyer?all i can say is that you're not alone. i finished my divorce saying that of the three women involved (my ex, her lawyer, my lawyer) it was my lawyer who i liked the least. my circumstances were different than yours, but similarly felt mistreated and disappointed and angry. and also: i try not to dwell on it. | /r/Divorce_Men | 19/08/25 11:24 PM |
| 1 | Divorce w 7 kids.it's not realistic to not pay a lawyer. the old jailhouse adage applies: he who represents himself has a fool for a lawyer. get a lawyer and get what's fair. you are equating using alcohol and whatever kratom is with her infidelity (???). you are talking about giving her $100K and the house and excessive custody and she's treating you like shit in front of everyone. man, i wish someone could have said this to me when i was spending years trying to be a good and nice guy out of guilt: get lawyers… | /r/Divorce_Men | 18/08/25 11:59 PM |
| 1 | Divorce w 7 kids.please if you read only one comment OP, let it be this one. | /r/Divorce_Men | 18/08/25 11:54 PM |
| 2 | Guys I am really fucked up. Really fucked up.that's not being a bad guy. | /r/Divorce_Men | 13/08/25 11:26 PM |
| 4 | Well gents, I think I’m going to be joining this club soon. Just venting.everybody says she's cheating. nobody knows the truth but her. don't go crazy over that. here's all i need to say about where you're wrong: "Our poor kids are going to lose any semblance of a normal life." no, that's not true. your kids will hurt, at first, they will be resilient, you will grow from this, and you will build, with them, a beautiful, new-normal life. i thought the same thing and nearly destroyed myself with guilt, shame, and regret for divorce. and the kids? they seem to be doing … | /r/Divorce_Men | 13/08/25 05:11 AM |
| 2 | How do you break Co-dependency…?attend meetings of codependents anonymous (most are on zoom.) get a sponsor and a power of 5 group. work the steps. jump in, the waters warm. | /r/Divorce_Men | 09/08/25 01:23 AM |
| 3 | Tried to reconcile... learned my lesson.this is rough stuff but you've got a good attitude and you're still out there getting after it. and no contact is super hard, but you'll make it work, and for the rest of your life, you know you tried your best and gave it a full shot. good for you. | /r/Divorce_Men | 08/08/25 02:27 AM |
| 3 | Like a sap I keep falling for itCODA right now. (codependents anonymous) there's a sub here and tons of online meetings and men's groups in particular. help yourself | /r/Divorce_Men | 01/08/25 07:57 PM |
| 1 | Lawyers…only for themselves.i'm sorry for you (unless it's a good thing!) and good luck. hopefully you won't have a shitty lawyer. but whether you do or not, keep track of: every time you call and talk to her, how long you are on the phone with her. (yes, stop and make a note of it.) notes of the substance of your conversations. if you go into the office to meet, note when the meeting started and when it ended. ask for regular updates on the status of your retainer. ask for a billing statement of services rendered thus far… | /r/Divorce_Men | 30/07/25 02:01 AM |
| 10 | Lawyers…only for themselves.so gross. been there. finished my divorce and said that i between the three women who had made my life challenging the past few years (my ex, her attorney, and my attorney) the one who i liked the least and was most pissed at was my own attorney. sorry and keep standing up for yourself. document EVERYTHING. | /r/Divorce_Men | 29/07/25 02:26 AM |
| 3 | Settle now and contest later?fight for 50/50 and drive the 20 m each way with the kids to school 2 or 3 days a week. that time will become precious, treasured memories. it's long enough that you'll get past the morning grumpies and into some real conversation and connection. in the darkest days of my separation/divorce my oldest kid was going to a high school 18 minutes away (i get that's a lot closer than 20 m) -- but i look back with gratitude for that time in the car alone with her. | /r/Divorce_Men | 27/07/25 01:20 AM |
| 3 | Need Advicemy friend, you are in terrible, perhaps mortal danger. you only posted 33 mins ago, so this is an early comment that you are going to hear dozens of times nearly verbatim for the remainder of the night: on monday, you go get the best lawyer in town. spend whatever it takes. document everything. file immediately. if she won't give up the marriage certificate, buy her two bottles and wait til she's done and find it. i don't want to hex you, so i won't say this "WILL" happen to you, but if i was ta… | /r/Divorce_Men | 20/07/25 12:37 AM |
| 5 | To file or not to filefile now and let her pay alimony. stop with the "not the kind of person I am." she treats you like shit, the law says alimony, get it and take it. if you really want, put it in a HYSA and let it be there for the boys when they get older. but i guarantee you if you treated her like shit, were verbally and physically abusive, and refused therapy, and she filed -- or any other sane person filed -- they would be fine with the alimony. get a great job that matches her salary and then allow her to go … | /r/Divorce_Men | 18/07/25 11:28 PM |
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