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Virtual_Safe1065 Archive

View 1 post and 14 comments by Virtual_Safe1065 on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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Upvotes Title Category Author Subreddit Date (UTC)
20

Virtual_Safe1065/r/Divorce_Men22/09/25 06:57 PM
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
8

Yeah it's normal to feel this way. I don't think women who do this even realize how it affects men. They don't get it. My advice is accomplish something that makes you feel competent. Could be career, financial, health + fitness, etc. Do something that makes you feel good about yourself so your brain starts to realize you are worthwhile, you do have things to offer, and you are an attractive person. What she did to you doesn't define you. YOU define you. For example I bought a small business and…
/r/Divorce_Men16/01/26 11:57 PM
8

As some others have mentioned try journaling. In particular "steam of consciousness journaling". Write whatever pops into your head down, no matter how crazy it sounds. No filter, no editing. Do it every night if you need to. Its like tossing little anger nuggets out of your body and onto a page. It will surprise you how much it helps. What you write is NOT meant to be shared with anyone else. Its for you. You will eventually stop thinking about the affair all the time. It will pop into your hea…
/r/Divorce_Men15/01/26 06:19 PM
1

The truth is that, for better or worse, women are true to their emotions. When they don't feel good about the relationship they will act upon those feelings. They have to. Eventually they will leave. Men, for better or worse, are better at compartmentalizing. We can stay loyal even when we aren't feeling it. We are just wired differently. If she wants to go, let her go. Its the best thing for both of you. Don't chase a woman who doesn't want to be with you. Even if you succeed in getting her bac…
/r/Divorce_Men15/01/26 06:07 PM
6

Pursue forgiveness. I know that's hard to hear right now. But it's not worth it to live full of resentment and anger. I was cheated on and left as well and it was the worst thing anyone has ever done to me. But I did a lot of reading and thinking about it and decided that I wouldn't let her decisions control me or my happiness in life. I won't let her have that power over me. She doesn't deserve forgiveness; she hasn't earned it. It has nothing to do with her actually. YOU deserve peace of mind …
/r/Divorce_Men15/01/26 05:56 PM
12

Similar story here which I've posted about. Wife asked for a divorce in our early 40s. I found out after it was finalized that she had carried on a multi-year affair. She is still with this guy. We have 1 child together who now lives half the time with her and the boyfriend. Found out about the affair a little over a year ago. I don't think about it all the time anymore. I can actually focus on things. But it still randomly appears in my thoughts and makes me angry and hurt. I have to force myse…
/r/Divorce_Men30/12/25 12:31 AM
1

Nope no alimony. I'm in a community property state where I don't think adultery matters anyway.
/r/Divorce_Men25/09/25 05:30 AM
2

I understand what you are saying, but at this point they are too young to be told. Someday, when they are older they will find out and then the fallout will be between the child and their mother. I am just not comfortable setting a young child against their mother, even if she deserves it.
/r/Divorce_Men23/09/25 09:46 PM
2

Thanks. Good advice and I am doing all of those things. Its certainly not a "cure" but it does help. I did talk to the man's ex-wife for awhile when she exposed the affair to me originally. Initially it was really helpful and obviously we had common cause and a shared experience. But it got weird after awhile so I stopped.
/r/Divorce_Men23/09/25 07:18 PM
4

Yeah I briefly met the AP recently. I thought I could handle it but I was wrong. it caused a fIood of anger and resentment to come back. I need to stay away for my own mental health.
/r/Divorce_Men23/09/25 07:15 PM
4

I have to admit my overall opinion of woman has gone down through all of this. I've realized they are just as flawed as men, although that's not what our culture teaches (in movies, TV, etc.). Never again will I put a woman up on a pedestal.
/r/Divorce_Men23/09/25 07:08 PM
3

Yes I have questioned what was real in my life and what was fake. What was a lie and what was the truth. Its a terrible conversation to have with yourself. The lies were overwhelming and I'm sure there is more that I don't know about. Although at this point I don't want to know. My morbid curiosity has dissipated. The weird thing is that she has tried to tell me several times that she is the same person I've always known and hasn't changed. That seems laughably untrue to me as the person I marri…
/r/Divorce_Men23/09/25 07:05 PM
2

Fully agree with this. We are very civil for the child and we have a good relationship when it comes to logistics, vacations, appointments, etc. This is really important and is a quality of life issue. I have no desire to have a terrible relationship with anyone. Life is too short. The paradox of it all is that I really don't want a relationship with this person at all because of what they did, but I am forced to because of the child that binds us. It's just a bizarre situation to be in that I n…
/r/Divorce_Men23/09/25 06:59 PM
1

I found out about the affair after our divorce was finalized. In other words the reasons for getting divorced were actually fake (or at least only a fraction of the real reasons). I was completely blindsided. I trusted my spouse completely and never thought her capable of this. Yes sometimes it still feels like a bad dream I will wake up from. I've realized that I will never truly understand it and I need to stop trying. There is no logical sense to be found.
/r/Divorce_Men22/09/25 07:27 PM
1

I am the one who told our child even though it was the wife who wanted the divorce. Yes they cried and pleaded for us not to do it. It was one of the worst things I've ever had to do. I had to completely detach my emotions so I wouldn't break down. On the bright side they recovered quickly and are doing well now. Its possible to show them love and give them support and have them come out of it OK.
/r/Divorce_Men22/09/25 07:21 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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