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WhoDatWhoDare Archive

View 2 posts and 43 comments by WhoDatWhoDare on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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1

Here in Texas you can get a consult with an attorney by going through the Texas State Bar Association. The most you’ll pay is $20 for that consult, but the attorney I spoke to was free. I am the one who filed in my situation as the petitioner. I ended up hiring him for a limited representation capacity to draft the decree. I just wanted to make sure it wasn’t done wrong. Edited to add link to the Lawyer Referral and information service: https://www.texasbar.com/Content/NavigationMenu/ForThePubli…
/r/Divorce_Men24/07/26 06:36 PM
3

I just finished getting divorced in Texas pro se. How did she file and not have you either served or sign a statement of waiver?
/r/Divorce_Men24/07/26 05:27 PM
8

Name checks out.
/r/Divorce_Men03/07/26 02:53 AM
3

I’m in that club too.
/r/Divorce_Men02/07/26 01:00 AM
1

I appreciate the straight talk. I am definitely not oblivious to the statistics or the reality of what does happen all too often. I am just saying I’m not ready to say that marriage isn’t in the cards for me potentially one day again. Maybe I’m just being too optimistic, but I’m ok with having some optimism obviously paired with healthy skepticism
/r/Divorce_Men22/06/26 11:10 PM
4

Do you think there’s an option to also file a complaint against the first attorney who told OP that all the documents were being sent to the OC only to find out they weren’t? Seems this is a huge violation of the lawyer’s duties to his client.
/r/Divorce_Men22/06/26 11:05 PM
3

I watched some of the Life 2.0 videos and I understand their message and how it would appeal to many men. I am probably in the minority in my opinion about the message and goals that John Griffen presents in his videos, especially with how often I’ve seen other men suggest watching that YT channel. I just can’t embrace that idea. I want to find my person and when I do, if marriage is something they want, I’m absolutely open to it myself. As I understand his videos, he actively discourages men fr…
/r/Divorce_Men22/06/26 12:01 PM
4

Don’t project your insecurities on your new relationship. I don’t say that lightly, considering my 28yr marriage ended when I discovered her infinitely. So I can absolutely understand the trauma that would lead you to be, as you put it, hyper vigilant. But I hope you have gotten the help to deal with the violation of trust you felt in the previous relationship so you can better regulate your feelings with the new one. Good luck man. I know it’s easier said than done.
/r/Divorce_Men22/06/26 02:05 AM
2

I’m sorry man. Young children can definitely change the perspective. I hope you do find it in your heart to forgive her. Doesn’t mean you have to stop hurting, but you stop finding reasons to hold on when you forgive. I absolutely wanted closure. For her to explain why she chose to step out of our marriage and she refused to. I thought and argued that after 28 years I deserved those answers. The truth is I don’t deserve answers. She don’t owe me closure. I had to accept that fact and stop expect…
/r/Divorce_Men17/06/26 04:35 PM
3

Definitely altruistic.. given his sacrifice to accept that love in the face of such intellectual deficiencies.
/r/Divorce_Men15/06/26 03:23 PM
9

Right? Not only is he highly intelligent, he’s obviously quite altruistic
/r/Divorce_Men15/06/26 02:57 PM
7

I am not religious, nor overly spiritual, but I have determine based on all the experiences in my life that there MUST be a higher divine power, and that everything I have experienced (good or bad) was for a reason. I might not know in the moment that reason, but it always makes itself known one day. That said, I believe you discovered OPs post when you needed to be shown it. I have definitely found some of the most useful help here from strangers who never knew they were helping me. Don’t lose …
/r/Divorce_Men09/06/26 04:30 AM
9

Start with therapy. Stop being there for her, that includes cooking for her. Be a gray rock. Don’t engage with her, and when you have to make sure it is in a unfazed and non-confrontational manner. The longer you continue to be there for her, the easier it is for her to not leave. Your healing will be delayed as long as you live together. The rage will not let you go until you no longer have to see her every day. Good luck brother. So many of us have been there too. And we’re here to tell you th…
/r/Divorce_Men03/06/26 03:34 AM
8

Hey man… this sucks and we’re here for you. You want to know how we’re handling it? It’s hard. It takes time. It takes talking to someone (either a good friend who can actually listen) or a therapist. And accepting that she is no longer the woman you love or married. You’re in love with the memory of who she used to be. She’s no longer here. Grieve. You’ve lost a loved one, even though there’s someone who looks like her still here. What has helped me is to read the stories of others here. It mad…
/r/Divorce_Men25/05/26 12:19 AM
2

Among the other feeling and thoughts you are having about your ex wife putting in the effort with the kids, I applaud you for also admitting that you might also fear you will feel like you’re no longer needed. That shows real emotional maturity and self reflection. Given you are open to even admit that’s a possible fear, you can shift your focus to think instead about if that was to happen, how that makes you feel and what does that mean for you. You got this. And good on you for showing up for …
/r/Divorce_Men21/05/26 03:41 AM
6

It was after I decided I no longer wanted to have access to her location sharing. I was unhealthy for me to check it through out the day. Watching her stop on her way from work at a store. Was she meeting someone? Why isn't she calling to tell me how her day was? My mind was fighting my heart and causing all the neurochemical reactions to fire because I was looking for closure. That's when I decided to file for divorce with the court house and stop wearing my ring.
/r/Divorce_Men19/05/26 02:35 AM
1

And while you post this, I’m sitting here hating that after 28 years of her being my person and being blindsided, that I don’t talk to her except on the weekend to work on the house I’m living in since she moved out so we can get it on the market. This is her choice. But I’m glad it is this way to help me realize she actually isn’t my person. That person is just a memory and I don’t one who this person is now. I’m not jealous of your experience, I promise. Just providing a contrasting experience…
/r/Divorce_Men17/05/26 11:15 PM
2

If you have any religious preferences, there’s always church… the app MeetUp might be able to connect you with new opportunities to make friends. You could volunteer your time with Habitat for Humanity if you’re capable and willing (even if you’ve never used a hammer before). I’m not extremely social myself, and plan to use these resources once my divorce decree is final in 28 days.
/r/Divorce_Men10/05/26 12:30 AM
1

Get into therapy. Deal with the issue that caused you to do whatever it was you did to end the marriage. Realize that you’re going through the stages of grief. Read up on them to remind yourself (unless the concept is new to you) the stages so you can potentially recognize them as you progress through them. If you have kids that are depending on you, be sure to stay as present as possible in their lives. Good luck and hope there was something to learn at the end of all of this
/r/Divorce_Men09/05/26 10:26 AM
0

You’re not wrong… I did over simplify my sentiment.
/r/Divorce_Men09/05/26 03:45 AM
7

I’m sorry about the pain you’re feeling. But I have to admit your post gave me a moment of levity when you said you’d rather die alone with a carrot in your ass. What imagery. I’m about 29 days out from being able to finalize my divorce. I know each of us deals with this trauma differently, but knowing the woman I fell in love with is no longer the same person she is now has helped me to move through the stages of grief more purposefully.
/r/Divorce_Men08/05/26 08:17 PM
5

Wow. Just wow. I’m sorry your evidence and documentation was treated so haphazardly or unimportantly by the court. Based on your story, it sounds like you did everything you could have but it didn’t matter. Go to Hawaii and have a good time. What else can you do, right?
/r/Divorce_Men08/05/26 07:47 PM
8

I dealt with it by reframing the relationship. I was truly still in love, but with the woman I married and remembered, not who she is today. I had to accept and realize the the woman I was in love with was no longer alive. I had to grieve that loss. I’m still feeling the waves of pain today, but they are less intense. Less frequent. I think, for me at least, was my realization that I was still holding onto an ideal that no longer existed and that no matter what, she wasn’t going to be returning.
/r/Divorce_Men06/05/26 04:28 PM
2

Nooooo, not the smelly socks… lol.
/r/Divorce_Men06/05/26 12:03 AM
1

Those things you stopped doing. Are you worse off as a person or changed to your core to not do them? If not, I think people in love make sacrifices and compromises in marriage to make the other happy. Sounds like you’re not wanting to accommodate your spouse anymore. Sorry to hear this, but i hope you can figure out what is best for both of you
/r/Divorce_Men03/05/26 09:42 PM
2

Have you attempted any therapy to discuss the anger?
/r/Divorce_Men29/04/26 03:03 AM
3

As someone who did catch his STBXW cheating, I will say that I hope you guys figure it out. I was married for 28 years and was totally blindsided. I don’t wish this pain on anyone else. Not to be dismissive of your pain and anguish, but if there’s something to salvage legitimately, fight for it. If not for you, for your kids. If this really is over, just make a decision that is right so everyone can start to heal. Good luck.
/r/Divorce_Men29/04/26 02:23 AM
23

A friend told me this: A man will sacrifice happiness for family. A woman will sacrifice family for happiness.
/r/Divorce_Men25/04/26 06:35 PM
4

I’m sorry brother. Go find something to do that you’ve wanted to but never had a chance. Maybe go drive to a really good BBQ joint. Call a friend to join you
/r/Divorce_Men25/04/26 05:18 PM
5

It seems that if you’re getting the tingling of your spidey senses regarding her financial status, maybe don’t ignore them.
/r/Divorce_Men24/04/26 01:41 PM
2

I think what you’re feeling is definitely something most of us here have felt. Especially when infidelity is discovered by us. I’m barely a month out from when I discovered my STBXW’s infidelity, but I’ve filed for divorce, we’re meeting with realtor today to get house on the market, and I’m progressing through the stages of grief at the loss of my once best friend and 28 years of marriage. What has helped me is to remember that the person I loved and continue to love in my heart is no longer he…
/r/Divorce_Men24/04/26 01:21 PM
3

Sorry to hear this brother, but good on you to know your worth, and obviously she isn’t the one to value it. Good luck and hope you come out on top
/r/Divorce_Men23/04/26 07:48 PM
2

Not a lawyer, but in almost every thread I’ve seen that references a criminal activity or pending litigation against the stbxw, this advice is seen quite often…
/r/Divorce_Men23/04/26 07:24 PM
14

Given this may turn into a legal/criminal issue, I might suggest removing this for now
/r/Divorce_Men23/04/26 01:39 AM
3

Bro, that’s ingenious. I’m gonna do that. Thanks.
/r/Divorce_Men21/04/26 10:16 PM
2

I totally experienced this yesterday when I was admitted to the hospital and had emergency surgery... that realization she wasn't there. I honestly didn't want her there but I also had pain in my heart from not having the option. I made a separate post about a realization I had as a result... hopefully you weren't caught in my same predicament. Hope you heal up quickly and don't use that temporary discomfort move you towards a mistake you'll regret. Good luck bro
/r/Divorce_Men21/04/26 06:50 PM
1

Try the app MeetUp to try to make new friends. I haven’t dipped my toe in it yet, but I intend to once the divorce is final.
/r/Divorce_Men20/04/26 02:41 AM
4

Why do you need to rub anything in your ex’s face? Move on man.
/r/Divorce_Men19/04/26 11:18 AM
6

Your reply here really resonates with me. I’m almost 30 days out from when I discovered my STBXW’s infidelity. She moved out, I filed petition to divorce and we have agreed to division of assets. I still find times where I’m really “missing” her but then I have to say OUTLOUD (not only in my head) that she is no longer the woman I fell in love with. That the woman I love and miss is no longer alive. I do not deserve what I’m going through. And I will be better one day than I am now. I also take …
/r/Divorce_Men15/04/26 08:30 PM
4

I’m sorry you’re going through that. I hope we both can find that companionship one day too.
/r/Divorce_Men14/04/26 01:23 AM
3

My world imploded on 3/23. I’m very much in the beginning stages of my grief. I’m realizing she is no longer the woman I loved. I filed the papers for divorce this week, so I’m still reeling from the whiplash. I’m trying to stay motivated, but my heart and soul are broken right now and it’s hard to concentrate at work and life outside of work is unfamiliar
/r/Divorce_Men10/04/26 10:05 PM
3

Glad to hear you’re doing well, in spite of the days you feel the anger and resentment. I hope you have fewer of those days because that’s all I have right now
/r/Divorce_Men10/04/26 09:27 PM
3

I am sorry you’re feeling that way. I hope you have friends and family you can lean on with dealing with these feelings. Also, remember that your kids need you. You need to be here for them. Continue to see therapy and hopefully your church provides some opportunities to unburden your soul. I can’t pretend to know what you’re feeling, but if it gets to be too much, call 988 (if you’re in the US) or whatever suicide helpline is available to you. Good luck and I’m praying for your healing.
/r/Divorce_Men10/04/26 12:13 AM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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