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WildernessHuntin Archive

View 1 posts and 63 comments by WildernessHuntin on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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Upvotes Title Category Author Subreddit Date (UTC)
55

WildernessHuntin/r/Divorce_Men05/01/24 04:53 PM
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
2

Well I wish you luck, and good health.
/r/Divorce_Men19/02/24 01:52 AM
2

She wanted a divorce. I would love it if some of us could save our marriages and go on to have great relationships. The reality is if you were anxious about keeping her before, this has done you absolutely zero favors. Let’s just say you “save” your marriage. Imagine how you will feel going forward, imagine how lopsided the power dynamic will be in your relationship. She is able to leave at the drop of a hat now and you know it. You will do anything to save it. Eventually you will simply lose an…
/r/Divorce_Men18/02/24 11:52 PM
1

Well while I do appreciate stoic philosophy, this isn’t the same. Stoic philosophy teaches you to accept what cannot be changed and is out of your control. It also teaches that what you can control, is only yourself and your actions. With regard to that you should take steps to better yourself or your life. In my reading it does not advise knowingly making bad decisions, possibly ending up in jail, then to be stoic about the outcome after. I think we will agree to disagree on this.
/r/Divorce_Men08/02/24 07:43 PM
1

I would disagree with quite a bit but mainly with the “it can’t hurt to give it a shot.” Yes, yes it can hurt. To each their own I suppose, hope it works out for you. She has a restraining order against him. Get the divorce. If the you still are interested in living a life of pain by all means start dating her again after that.
/r/Divorce_Men08/02/24 02:50 AM
3

Add in some deep seated selfishness. I think it often comes down to pure selfishness. Why don’t they leave instead of cheat, because selfishly they want what you provide and also the new thrill and excitement. They typically don’t see or care that it might cause you deep pain if they are found out.
/r/Divorce_Men06/02/24 04:59 PM
3

I like this, this is exactly what happens in my opinion. If needs aren’t being met, shit communication, then they I’ll use it as an excuse to act single.
/r/Divorce_Men06/02/24 04:56 PM
3

I’m Sorry to hear this. I hope it works out.
/r/Divorce_Men02/02/24 05:45 AM
2

I bought the at for my ex almost 10 years ago I think. She never read it. I probably should have taken that as a sign. Haha. Thanks for the post.
/r/Divorce_Men01/02/24 07:38 AM
4

I wouldn’t bother man. Someone with that handle and in a men’s divorce forum is just looking for attention and trolling. We shouldn’t validate them. Let them scream and rant into silence.
/r/Divorce_Men28/01/24 03:58 PM
5

I exercised during the day when I felt peak stress. Sometimes twice a day. It doesn’t have to be crazy, so what you can, even a 15 minute walk helps. I had the same sleep issues, I have read a lot of us have. Time, it got naturally better over time. One year out and sleep is basically back to normal, aside from the occasional nightmare. Melatonin helped get me to sleep. I meditate when I first get in bed, it takes a week or two, 10 minutes a night to really have an effect for me. Headspace app h…
/r/Divorce_Men28/01/24 03:41 PM
3

I disagree. I have read research indicating daughters without a very present father, have decreases in all kinds of life metrics. Even decades later lower incomes, decreased education outcomes. Daughters need good and present fathers.
/r/Divorce_Men28/01/24 07:35 AM
1

Yes. I got the same BS phrases.
/r/Divorce_Men27/01/24 04:41 PM
1

I’m not going to sugar coat it. The first 3 months were the darkest of my life. The next 3 were awful but incrementally better. I’m 10 months in now and most of my days are normal now from finalized divorce, 1yr 3 months from separation. There are still twinges of sadness mixed in here or there and days I just still feel kind of down. Those down days are just normal, not the despair of the first three months. Fight through the hard times, it slowly gets back to normal. I can even see where my li…
/r/Divorce_Men26/01/24 05:23 PM
2

I identify with this so much. Looking forward to feeling nothing for her either way.
/r/Divorce_Men22/01/24 03:05 AM
5

Just wanted to thank all the men who commented and will comment here. For me these kinda posts are some of the most valuable. When you’re new into divorce and you’re wondering how long it’s going to take to feel normal again. When you wonder if it ever gets better. These posts keep you looking for the light at the end of the tunnel.
/r/Divorce_Men19/01/24 12:49 AM
16

At first it’s shocking and confusing how things can change, things she said all the sudden never happened. It can give you false hope. Then it becomes laughable the shit they say. Once you realize that the truth is extremely fluid for them. It’s literally “their” truth. “Their” truth depends almost exclusively on what they want at the moment, a (husband) back-up plan, money, safety net, more time to get their plan together, living situation, etc. A lot of it seems to revolve around having their …
/r/Divorce_Men17/01/24 10:42 PM
4

Haha
/r/Divorce_Men17/01/24 10:27 PM
1

I think marriage and marriage law is literally designed to produce this outcome.
/r/Divorce_Men17/01/24 05:30 PM
1

Ahh yes the “roommate” that you emotionally and financially supported for little to no benefit. Then you are forced to continue paying their rent when they break the lease.
/r/Divorce_Men17/01/24 05:27 PM
2

I get the same statements from friends. I don’t believe it. No, the world isn’t fair. I’m really looking forward to not caring at all if her life is amazing or awful. Not quite there but I’m working on it every day.
/r/Divorce_Men17/01/24 05:14 PM
6

I made it 17 years, a lot of the same stuff lack of intimacy after our last child. Told her multiple times that coming in dead last on her priority list didn’t work for me etc. Ultimately I would have stayed if the status quo was maintained, even though it was really a one sided relationship. She helped me out by saying she didn’t feel attracted to me and wanted a separation. Pretty sure she was having an emotional affair at the minimum based on the quickness of her change. I filed about 2 month…
/r/Divorce_Men17/01/24 03:41 PM
11

Pretty standard. They rewrite the story to fit what they feel and want right now. It’s all so much easier for them if they are great wives and mothers and we are just awful humans in every aspect. Even if a month before she said you were amazing. Acknowledge( only to yourself) what you could have done better or improved, and ignore literally everything she says or implies about you.
/r/Divorce_Men12/01/24 09:43 PM
5

No.
/r/Divorce_Men12/01/24 09:31 PM
2

Yep.
/r/Divorce_Men12/01/24 03:29 PM
3

I agree with the majority of comments on here. “The grass is greener where you water it.” On top of that so many people chase the lust/in love fantasy. You give up quite a bit, ruin a family for the same end result down the road often, sometimes worse. Only you know the intricacies of your relationship, but trying to improve it seems to be the best route. Lack of intimacy is a big issue, but if she is willing maybe it can be improved. A lot of the stories here are wives that left relatively good…
/r/Divorce_Men12/01/24 03:29 PM
1

This is tough because she said she wanted to give it another go, and believe in trying to keep a marriage together. Unfortunately people don’t always say what they actually mean, and sometimes they use you for support while they get their own things together. Like say, getting through education or police training. That being said if you read this sub enough and in my own experience, when women bring up divorce, it’s usually the end. Not always, of course. That coupled with the lack of sex, the l…
/r/Divorce_Men12/01/24 05:36 AM
4

Trust your instincts here, it may not be anything yet, but if it makes you uncomfortable and she lies about it….it’s not okay.
/r/Divorce_Men12/01/24 05:27 AM
2

I agree that conclusions are often jumped to about affairs, especially here. However, what she did is at a minimum a breach of trust. She knew the number, didn’t save it as a contact, then lied about who it was. Sounds like at minimum emotional affair territory. Especially turning it around on him! She did wrong and then called him insecure and said he couldn’t handle the truth. That is cheater talk. Maybe it’s not physical, but it isn’t right in any way shape or form and downplaying it is wrong…
/r/Divorce_Men12/01/24 05:26 AM
1

You got this!! It Seems like she wants a reaction, try not to give her one. As far as the backsliding, one step forward two steps back feeling, it happened to me for the first 6 months or so. Seemed like I would be doing well and then something would hit wrong. It eventually faded away. Just know it’s not 1 step forward two steps back, it’s more like 1 step forward half a step back. That is still progress, and with time it will be a forward march. Hang in there, time and positive effort is the c…
/r/Divorce_Men12/01/24 05:15 AM
1

I get how you might “feel” this way, however It is in fact categorically untrue. After all many of the men here have not treated you as worthless. Whoever hired you didn’t. In any case I think therapy could benefit you, maybe CBT to challenge your beliefs about your self. Is it possible people are reacting to your view of your own worth? Best wishes man.
/r/Divorce_Men12/01/24 02:35 AM
5

Lots of good points here. Sure I got a little lazy with the romantic aspect the last few years. What I will say is when you romance them, flirt with them and you for years get little intimacy back eventually you just stop trying. I think there is also some truth to the idea that long term relationships are complicated by, kids, finances, mortgages, bills etc. None of which is fun or sexy. So when the guy at work or the gym shows up and all interactions are fun, lighthearted and sexy….well they s…
/r/Divorce_Men12/01/24 01:54 AM
6

It would be a mistake. That lack of intimacy sucks, a lot of men have had the same situation, me included. Many of the things already stated are true, could make her turn the divorce from amicable to revenge, its pretty brutal living with a spouse that is dating also, in fairness. Mostly I would say those are all just choices between two adults though. Here is the real problem in my opinion. I was a child of divorce, my mother started dating before the divorce was even final. I can tell you I re…
/r/Divorce_Men11/01/24 07:02 PM
9

Sure. 20 years of history, kids, I think it is naturally to second guess and miss the good times. She wanted separation, I filed. In the beginning I had big waves of, I hate her then I miss us, up and down. This still happens although less frequently and more just ripples in my calm pond. When I feel that way I just remind myself things can never be the same. I will never trust her again, without that we could never have anything. I just accept it, and it has slowly gotten better and better. Som…
/r/Divorce_Men10/01/24 11:22 PM
5

Nice to see positive stories. Helps us all look to the future possibilities.
/r/Divorce_Men09/01/24 10:27 PM
1

Yep.
/r/Divorce_Men09/01/24 10:18 PM
1

It’s literally impossible to tell you anything of real substance with so little info. I can tell you your worst outcome will be if you don’t file for divorce tomorrow, with a lawyers help. Everyday you don’t take action you will have a worse outcome down the road in my opinion.
/r/Divorce_Men09/01/24 10:15 PM
5

Well this may get down voted. Unless she is a physical danger to you, which since you live with her doesn’t seem to be the case, it seems cruel to blindside someone like that, when you see them everyday. It seems kinda cowardly not to tell her, then again I don’t know your situation. But you did ask.
/r/Divorce_Men09/01/24 10:03 PM
3

This was me, she got a new job, bunch of single younger women she befriended. I also think that when they meet other men at work they may have attraction to it’s amplified. Zero of the stress of a real relationship, finances, kids, real life, so it is all positive fun experiences. Later the reality hits a lot of time, bills to pay, honeymoon is over, and they realize it’s not any better, just same shit different day. You can only laugh. Haha
/r/Divorce_Men09/01/24 09:52 PM
7

I absolutely agree. The more you try to keep them the more they disrespect you and want to leave. If you say fine leave and divorce them, they are angry you didn’t even try. No win situation once they get to that point. At least if you leave you don’t have to deal with it anymore. Learned my lesson, when they “think” they may want out, assist them in their way.
/r/Divorce_Men08/01/24 11:33 PM
1

Like I said, we are all different, I personally don’t have a problem with it. I was just trying to point out to you, that where you are posting you may not get all sunshine and rainbows back. Maybe just let those comments slide off your back is more what I was suggesting. But you will do what you do. I commend you for finding ways to support your brother, my sisters supported me and it meant the world to me. Sometimes a few family members and a sub like this is all men have, sometimes it’s all w…
/r/Divorce_Men08/01/24 09:57 PM
2

You need to focus on changing your mindset. As many have said, your changes have to be for you. It cannot be for anyone else, especially not attracting a woman. I have no desire currently to attract a woman in anyway. I exercise nearly everyday because I notice that my mood, energy and drive are way better if I exercise that day. I love the way I feel for the rest of the day. Try it, stay at it. You may find you feel better and want to stay at it for you. If you feel depressed, there are many sc…
/r/Divorce_Men08/01/24 08:12 PM
2

There is nothing inherently wrong with your comment, it was a fine comment. The issue is that the men here are looking for a place to express themselves openly without worrying about being judged or called misogynistic, toxic, etc. So if you want to peruse the posts, so be it. If you comment, you may get some backlash even if it was positive. Some men here may view any post as an unwanted invasion of their space. So you get what you get when you comment, not all of us will be annoyed, some might…
/r/Divorce_Men08/01/24 08:05 PM
3

It’s difficult divorcing no matter the scenario. It sounds like you already know what has to be done. Advice wise, maybe read “No More Mr. Nice Guy.” As many have said “Gray Rock” When you feel weak, Remind yourself that cheaters always cheat again, it’s a character flaw. Do you want to re-experience this time and time again. Know that it gets easier once you don’t have to live with them, focus on getting to that point, stay the course. Good luck.
/r/Divorce_Men08/01/24 05:11 PM
3

I read it as love is reduced by 50%. Not necessarily 50% chance of not loving you at all. In any case, is it depressing, it does seem that way. However, You will die one day, 100% chance of that, so will you never try really living because you are guaranteed it will end? Maybe love is the same. Knowledge is power. What I choose to do with this knowledge is be aware that any future relationship may end(despite what she tells you, or how good of a partner you are) If it does end I will set my life…
/r/Divorce_Men07/01/24 10:10 PM
3

I kept the house, what helped me was changing as much as I could about the house, repainting rooms can be pretty cheap, get rid of anything that reminds you of her. Get new bed sheets and comforter. Change as much as you can reasonably afford so your mind doesn’t make a direct association like “we used to sit on that couch together.” Put the tv on a different wall. Basically make it yours, decorate how you like with no thought to how she might have done it. Good luck.
/r/Divorce_Men07/01/24 05:37 PM
3

You need a lawyer.
/r/Divorce_Men07/01/24 05:29 PM
4

I’m truly sorry to welcome you here. Reading about other men who had the same thing happen, felt destroyed and came out stronger, helped me so much. Read all of these men’s stories and take solace that despite your pain it does actually get better if you work at it and stay the course. Don’t show her emotion, beg, or plead. If you slip up, it’s ok, don’t be hard on yourself this shit is hard enough. Just get up and get back on the path. When you feel like you can’t take it and you’re gonna crawl…
/r/Divorce_Men07/01/24 05:21 PM
22

I treat it like a homeless woman who walks up to me at a gas station. I know she has a story for me. I know what she wants and it’s nothing in my best interest. Doesn’t mean I hate her or dislike her Sometimes I might even feel empathy that she might have made some bad decisions and is now homeless, but I can’t take on her problems, I have my own. I’m polite, fair and to the point. “I have nothing left to give, good luck and have a good day.” I would only feel guilty if I was rude or did somethi…
/r/Divorce_Men07/01/24 12:38 AM
2

I get that, there was a time I read this sub just for the continual “never take them back” reminders.
/r/Divorce_Men07/01/24 12:13 AM
3

True.
/r/Divorce_Men07/01/24 12:08 AM
10

I have felt the way you are feeling, occasionally I still do. First step is don’t be too hard on yourself about it. A little over 1 year for me, for your reference. It’s not necessarily wrong to wish for them to come back or want your old life back. It’s not wrong…but it isn’t your current reality, nor is it productive. Acknowledge you feel that way, ask yourself truly why would you want this person back? Often for me it was because it was easy, and comfortable, and had history behind it. Then t…
/r/Divorce_Men07/01/24 12:04 AM
3

Good for you! I think it’s possible that most of us didn’t start out as co-dependent personalities. I think we are complicit in becoming co-dependent, that’s on us, but I think it’s understandable. This is just my opinion based on here-say and my own experience. I think I probably did become co-dependent to some degree. I’m speaking in terms of marriage here. To me, the defining difference between a romantic relationship and any other relationship in our lives is sexual and physical intimacy. A …
/r/Divorce_Men06/01/24 06:09 PM
2

Thank you.
/r/Divorce_Men06/01/24 05:24 PM
24

This isn’t really much to go on. I’ll make a few assumptions since you’re in this sub. I’ll assume she wanted the separation and that it wasn’t really mutual desire, I’ll also assume you agreed you could see other people during this separation? I’ll refrain from being crude, but adults separated 16 months don’t “spend time with another guy” like they are just chastely having coffee. Hopefully you were just being circumspect. It’s simple and extremely painful I’m guessing, you haven’t “moved on” …
/r/Divorce_Men06/01/24 03:22 AM
6

Honestly I think everyone does a version of “look your best” after divorce. Some of us do it mostly for ourselves(healthier option), some of us do if more for validation from the opposite sex. In my opinion, why have you created a situation where she feels comfortable telling you this. If you haven’t made her comfortable and she talks anyway, why are you listening. It’s your call and your ex but she will probably continue to hurt you if you let her, she knows what she is doing. File this under—n…
/r/Divorce_Men06/01/24 02:50 AM
3

Have you considered that you are having second thoughts because it might not be right for you, yet. I’m 40, I had some of the same urges, I resisted them besides enjoying the occasional compliments. I am grateful I did, because honestly I look back now and realize I was trying to assuage my own pain. I don’t think it would have worked for me, just delayed the process. I can’t speak for you, maybe it would work fine for you. You say she wouldn’t hesitate to do such and such…who cares what she wou…
/r/Divorce_Men05/01/24 09:25 PM
13

I get what you’re saying about wanting to try again and it feels pointless. I didn’t intend for this to feel inevitable or defeatist. I don’t think that is the case. I don’t view this as positive or negative, anymore than I view a thunderstorm as positive or negative, it just is. I will still pursue long term relationships in the future because that is what I want. Knowing the nature of things I won’t fall into the trap of trying to be better, or do more trying to regain something she lost natur…
/r/Divorce_Men05/01/24 07:53 PM
3

I understand this feeling of wishing you didn’t think about her also, I’m one year out. I think reminiscing about what you had, especially if the relationship was long or you were very committed to them is pretty normal. I don’t like it, and actively use CBT techniques to shut down those thoughts as much as possible. Stay on your path, minding your business and don’t be too hard on yourself. Your last line is what I would choose to work on most. Who cares what her life is like or if she thinks o…
/r/Divorce_Men04/01/24 04:14 PM
2

I often felt the same way in the beginning, interaction making it feel like you are cracking open emotions and losing strength. As a direct answer what helped me was to decide immediately if it needed a response right now, this minute. If not I would wait a minimum of 2 hours to respond. If you’re feeling unsettled, go for a walk, run, exercise before responding. Then I never responded in kind to what I considered off the wall things. Hope you are doing well etc. A few hours later I politely sai…
/r/Divorce_Men31/12/23 09:42 PM
3

There is absolutely nothing wrong with the way you are feeling, it’s natural. That being said, feelings are not reality. Make decisions based on reality. I went through much the same a year ago. I could tell you the whole story, how devastated and alone I felt, the pick me dancing, etc. The same happens in so many cases here. The best decision I made was 2 months into her 3 month separation request I made a decision. I couldn’t tolerate the disrespect and not making decisions for myself. I was l…
/r/Divorce_Men31/12/23 09:22 PM
1

You will have it. Post your experience here or that you need support in a thread of your own. Guys will be there for you. I have been there, many have and the support is there also.
/r/Divorce_Men07/05/23 02:46 PM
1

It’s your marriage and your life. You have to do what you think will give you peace later, and if trying everything will do that then by all means go ahead with this plan. I can say that I’ve been there, a lot of guys on here have been there. What I have learned, and many here seem to have also learned, is that mostly when it reaches this point wives have been feeling this way for years. They have built up a narrative and a history of what you have done and how terrible you are. They have convin…
/r/Divorce_Men07/05/23 02:04 PM
2

Saying get out may seem callous and is easy for us to say, hard for you to do. I will say this from my experience, you are 31, 3 years of marriage, with no kids and your sex life is non existent. You already sought counseling for this. Having kids will almost guaranteed make sex less than it is now. Eventually she will resent you for wanting sex she has no intention of giving and you will resent her for only handing you crumbs, until even that stops. You’ve been thinking of it for a year already…
/r/Divorce_Men02/05/23 04:40 AM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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