Will564339 Archive

Upvotes	Title	Category	Author	Subreddit	Date (UTC)
10	Do women value/need safety and social/emotional signals to be intimate?	Question For Women	Will564339	/r/PurplePillDebate	08/03/26 04:41 PM

Upvotes	Comment on	Subreddit	Date (UTC)
2	Men can only access emotional intimacy through a romantic partner So you‘re totally right that the work itself isn’t magically easier for women. Opening up, being willing to trust, consistency, checking in on people, initiating deeper conversations. All of those things take effort for everyone. I think the part I’m trying to add is that relationships are interactive, not individual. It’s not only about “am I willing to do the work?” but also about how the people you’re doing it with respond to the attempts. For example, if a guy is trying to build this closene…	/r/PurplePillDebate	23/05/26 11:32 AM
5	Men can only access emotional intimacy through a romantic partner Like a lot of things in life, it can be tough when you don't know if the work is going to result anything. You could be barking up the wrong tree. When there are tangible results for something it's much easier to get on board. You see it's working and it makes you want to keep on doing it. With people, things are messier. You could spend a lot of time and energy trying to foster that deeper level and not get anything back. There's not a clear path to who it will work with and who it won't. There…	/r/PurplePillDebate	22/05/26 05:47 PM
9	Men can only access emotional intimacy through a romantic partner I agree with you as a whole. I have close male friendships where we trust each other with intimate things and it took work, and I believe that work is valuable and worth it. But sometimes I think the challenges of it can be overlooked. Like you said, it takes both sides....and if only one guy is doing it and the others aren't on board, it's not going to work. I definitely agree that if a guy isn't making any effort and just complaining about it, then that's 100% on him. But he's also not in 100%…	/r/PurplePillDebate	22/05/26 05:42 PM
8	"Women are people too. Just treat them like they are human". Is such anoverblown, and hella misleading advice for men There's a difference between "can't" and "don't". They don't for a wide variety of reasons. Saying they can't is just excusing problematic behavior.	/r/PurplePillDebate	22/05/26 05:19 PM
2	why do your responses to men's statements sometimes not match what was actually said? "being a man" is a much simpler and straightforward concept than "hating men". "Hating men" can mean all different kinds of things. So if they only say "hate men" and nothing else, you can interpret that to mean all kinds of things that they don't mean. It might seem specific to you because you're interpreting it in one way. If you defined exactly what you meant by it and explained what that interpretation was, then the answer could be a yes or no without the people answering it having to define…	/r/PurplePillDebate	14/05/26 06:10 PM
7	why do your responses to men's statements sometimes not match what was actually said? Your question is so broad that it can be interpreted multiple ways. If someone simplify answers "yes" or "no" to such a broad question with nothing else, it can be misinterpreted to mean all kinds of things. So you got a bunch of answers that answered it but clarified what they meant based on how they interpreted it. If you think they don't answer your question then your question needs to be more specific to clarify exactly what you mean.	/r/PurplePillDebate	14/05/26 05:40 PM
2	Could it be that the manosphere and the Red Pill fuel MISANDRY? I think my biggest takeaway from thr interaction you described is that it goes to show how much all us tske our own experiences into new situations and apply them and assume things. a lot of this is natural and understandable, but when we use it to make harsh judgments on people is where it becomes a problem. it’s part of the internet culture…being exposed to thousands and people and not getting to know any of them.	/r/PurplePillDebate	06/04/26 04:37 PM
0	Why do you think so many of you guys fall for the "just world" fallacy? no, I see a lot more taking any expectation of any kind of accountability or claims that SOMETHING is in your control as “blame”. that’s the binary I’m talking about. It’s a victim mentality. there are some things behind your control. You have to accept those. There other things that are in your control. pointing out that some things are in your control instead of saying it’s all out of your control is not blaming.	/r/PurplePillDebate	05/04/26 07:48 PM
1	Why do you think so many of you guys fall for the "just world" fallacy? The problem is, like with so many things, that people try to oversimplify it all into a binary. It's either "all my fault" or "none of it is my fault". People throw out the just world fallacy to avoid any sort of accountability and to adopt a total victim mentality, as if they have no control over anything. In reality, everything is more complex. In a lot of situations, there can be blame on both sides. In a lot of situations, there are things beyond your control and things that are in your cont…	/r/PurplePillDebate	05/04/26 06:53 PM
7	The way some people talk about male loneliness kinda of reinforces the point of why men don't really have a lot of safe spaces to be emotionally open Part of the problem, which is the way everything is in life, is that if you have a problem that you truly believe has no solution...nobody has enough emotional bandwidth to listen to that problem endlessly. Even close friends and family. The closest you can get is to try to do the exact same thing for them and listen and support for their problem as much as they do for yours. So online the patience is going to be even less because you don't even have a relationship with that person. Everyone onl…	/r/PurplePillDebate	03/04/26 06:32 PM
1	The biggest thing right now we can do to help men is to teach boys as young as possible, to drop as much as possible, any and all need for female validation On a day to day individual basis, people do not care. It doesn’t matter what “society” thinks. There are billions of people out there you’ll never meet. Who cares what they think? When you meet someone, if they ask about if you’re with someone or not, they’re doing it to learn about you. Since high school, I have never once had someone suddenly treat me differently based on asking that and finding out one way or another. If I had a girlfriend, cool. If I didn’t, cool. I have friends who are gay.…	/r/PurplePillDebate	03/04/26 02:29 PM
1	The biggest thing right now we can do to help men is to teach boys as young as possible, to drop as much as possible, any and all need for female validation Ok, you said you don’t place value on it. So you know what you need to do? Find other people who think like you do. You’re living proof that people don’t have to do that. Who cares what’s considered “normal”? Normal is a lie. Nothing is normal. Every single person has things about them that are not normal. The difference is some people care about fitting in more than others do. But when someone cares too much about fitting in, they’re not living their own life. They’re living their life for othe…	/r/PurplePillDebate	03/04/26 11:49 AM
1	The biggest thing right now we can do to help men is to teach boys as young as possible, to drop as much as possible, any and all need for female validation The men that I know and am friends with couldn’t care less if I have a girlfriend or not. They don’t play into these ridiculous social status games. if you can only see women as potential partners no wonder you feel so disrespected by them…you’re only looking at yourself through that lens, basing all of your own value only on your potential as a romantic partner instead of as a human. You’re acting like romantic love and respect is the only kind. That is all in your head, not “society”. No wonde…	/r/PurplePillDebate	02/04/26 09:44 PM
2	The concept of gender roles is outdated and stupid I agree with that, if it wasn't clear. And unless I misunderstood the OP, I thought that was the point the OP was making, which is why I commented in this agreement part.	/r/PurplePillDebate	02/04/26 06:10 PM
4	The concept of gender roles is outdated and stupid That's the problem...so many people don't want to work as a team. They want to get what they want. I honestly think that's a big part of the problem with so much of society (to be fair, I'm from the US, so it may be a bigger issue here compared to some countries). We've become very individualistic. We're used to convenience and entertainment. We're used to being able to find what we want online, and when we want it. We're not used to working through the challenges of having to do hard things for…	/r/PurplePillDebate	02/04/26 05:53 PM
9	Being a SAHM is idiotic for both the partners. I think this is a good point. These kinds of relationships take a lot of trust, and you have to be able to trust in your partner to be selfless and willing to sacrifice for your well being. That's the danger of a SAHM....if you have no opportunity to leave the relationship , then you can be trapped in a dangerous situation for both yourself and your children.	/r/PurplePillDebate	02/04/26 01:23 PM
3	Q4BP: What are you doing about the gender wars content crisis? So what policies could people in government propose that would have an effect on this? I view that as a social issue not a political one, that people are going to chose the types of relationships they want regardless of who's in office. Is it simply the rhetoric and messaging they give that matters, or is it something else?	/r/PurplePillDebate	02/04/26 01:06 PM
5	The biggest thing right now we can do to help men is to teach boys as young as possible, to drop as much as possible, any and all need for female validation This is just putting your own sense of value into other people's hands and calling it "society". People ultimately don't care if you have a woman or not, they have their own problems in their lives. They will respect you base on how you treat them. If they don't, they're not worth your time and effort. And there are plenty of people that don't fit into that category.	/r/PurplePillDebate	02/04/26 12:10 PM
2	Q4BP: What are you doing about the gender wars content crisis? out of genuine curiosity…what is it about the gender war stuff that you feel is so important that it affects who you vote for? If you felt someone could improve things economically for you but had different views on the ”gender war” compared to someoen who had the same views as you as the “gender war” but made things worse or harder for you economically…why would you vote for thr second? what pull and power do you think politicians have when it comes to gender things that affect you in a negativ…	/r/PurplePillDebate	02/04/26 10:37 AM
0	Q4BP: What are you doing about the gender wars content crisis? You are correct in that with health there are much more TANGiBLE elements. That is why it’s much easier to prove to people. positive relationships and what it takes to create them, is not as easy to see. but this isn’t just a “because I said so” thing. People do benefit from having good, positive relationships in life. There is research on this. hopping from woman to woman, never truly being loved by one, never forming a real relationship with one, viewing them as shallow or stupid or liars or o…	/r/PurplePillDebate	02/04/26 01:48 AM
1	Q4BP: What are you doing about the gender wars content crisis? That’s what I don’t know. I don’t know how to market these types of things. I think appealing to the economic Aspect of things might be easier to get acorss. the only thing I can of that fits in with your OP (the idea of getting across an appealing message that I disagree with just to win votes) would be to kind of play into the victim mentality of men. there might be a way to do it in a more legitimate manner…by discussing the real difficulties men do face. But I think thr resl solutions to tho…	/r/PurplePillDebate	02/04/26 01:40 AM
1	Q4BP: What are you doing about the gender wars content crisis? there’s a lot there, but i think there are two separate issues/questions thst I see a the heart of it: How do you convince this group of men to adopt “blue pill” instead of ”red pill”. Does it matter in terms of politics? I’m by no means an expert on these things and I think they’re complex topics, so this is a very basic opinion. For question 1, I don’t think you can without completely changing society as a whole, which is more of a multi generational goal (or one that will be brought upon by s…	/r/PurplePillDebate	01/04/26 11:05 PM
5	Men's contribution to society isn't a dating argument. So if they're making a true bad faith argument, then yeah, I don't know why they would choose that one over anything else. But I don't think there's no relation. I think it comes down to the idea of filling a role. If a man places so much of his own sense of self worth on being attractive to a woman, a lot of times his mind will think "so what can I do as a MAN specifically to do this?" So he's going to think about what men can do that women can't. His mind thinks "well, if women don't need men,…	/r/PurplePillDebate	31/03/26 09:10 PM
4	Men's contribution to society isn't a dating argument. But that's why it seems like so many of these men don't want a healthy relationship. I think that's a big part of the problem.	/r/PurplePillDebate	31/03/26 07:54 PM
11	Men's contribution to society isn't a dating argument. I honestly think a huge issue with all of this is how many men view the deepest sense of their self worth on how attractive they are to women, or how much women want to have sex with them, or being chosen or loved by a woman. I don't know how much of that is biological and how much of it is societal. But I think that's why so many men feel a lack of purpose in life without a relationship. So when men hear women say they don't need men, men feel like it means they have no worth as a person. I thi…	/r/PurplePillDebate	31/03/26 07:40 PM
2	Too many people confuse covert narcissism with being vulnerable. you are correct, and soemtimes it’s a good reminder that I spend too much time on Reddit, especially in this sub.	/r/PurplePillDebate	20/03/26 10:19 PM
3	Too many people confuse covert narcissism with being vulnerable. That's the key thing. Like with so many other topics, these things often turn into a binary with people using both extremes as examples, and then act like when it's not one extreme it's got to be the other.	/r/PurplePillDebate	20/03/26 02:01 PM
0	"Nice" is neither a synonym of "good" nor necessarily a positive trait. So I want to start with that last interview analogy because I think this is where this whole "pill" framing is where people get these ideas of others being wrong or stupid. To me, it's just straight up dumb to say that interviews don't matter. So that's why it's frustrating to paint "blue pill" or "mainstream" as "just be a good employee, don't worry about learning how to give a good job interview!" But to me, redpill stuff comes across as ONLY caring about the interview. Like "just learn how to…	/r/PurplePillDebate	19/03/26 03:31 PM
0	"Nice" is neither a synonym of "good" nor necessarily a positive trait. You're coming up with very extreme examples on each end to create these binaries that aren't the way most people are. People can be slightly overweight without being obese. They can have some insecurity without being too clingy. They can have interesting and boring aspects. You don't need to be a model to be make your looks improve enough to be attractive. You don't need chiseled abs. You don't need to "hold power over other men". There are plenty of guys in great long term relationships that ar…	/r/PurplePillDebate	19/03/26 02:40 PM
1	"Nice" is neither a synonym of "good" nor necessarily a positive trait. There's a lot nuance to all of this, but overall I agree with what you're saying here. I think part of the problem with all of this is that there's a difference between casual sex and long term relationships. And different people will want different things, and sometimes that will change throughout their lives. I actually don't disagree with a lot of red pill ideas that they will help men successfully get access to sex or even short term relationships. My arguments are more about the morality an…	/r/PurplePillDebate	19/03/26 01:49 PM
4	"Nice" is neither a synonym of "good" nor necessarily a positive trait. I actually disagree with you here. What's tricky about it all is that different people will view different things as nice. If nice and kind are the same thing, then we need a different word to refer to what the OP is defining as nice. You could call it agreeable, passive, conflict averse, etc. There are people that can be very likable and easy to get along with who are not always kind What makes it hard it that every situation is different. The likable, agreeable person can be very kind in some …	/r/PurplePillDebate	19/03/26 01:31 PM
1	"Nice" is neither a synonym of "good" nor necessarily a positive trait. This is why binary thinking is so dangerous. People act like passive and aggressive are the only two options. And the passive people are focused on the aggressive people and the aggressive people are focused on the passive people. They're all missing the boat because they key thing is being a moral but assertive person.	/r/PurplePillDebate	19/03/26 01:22 PM
1	"Nice" is neither a synonym of "good" nor necessarily a positive trait. I agree with most of what the OP is saying. My issue is this whole kind of strawmanning "mainstream" and "blue pill" ideas of saying "just be yourself!" and "just be nice!" I don't know where this is coming from. I've never heard people say it in regards to dating. This is why the whole "red pill" thing becomes so frustrating to talk about. There are a lot of things that were supposedly originally "red pill" that you could find if you actually read articles about dating. The idea of being confid…	/r/PurplePillDebate	19/03/26 01:17 PM
-1	"Nice" is neither a synonym of "good" nor necessarily a positive trait. Part of the problem with all of this is that "good" is way too broad of a category to put anyone into. Everything is on a scale. There's no magical line that someone can cross that takes them from "not good" to good. The idea is that there are always ways to improve. This is what makes every situation different. There's a difference between being rude in a situation where it's the only way that works or the best way, and assuming that being rude in every situation is the right choice. So someone…	/r/PurplePillDebate	19/03/26 01:08 PM
–	Dating isn't fair and it shouldn't be. So when it comes to men I agree with you. When something is out of their control, they have to adapt and accept the way things are. And for the record, on this sub at least, if not in general, it does seem like it's many more men that have to accept the unfairness when it comes to dating. So I agree with everything in the OP. However, I also think it applies to any women who are not happy single. It's fine for a woman to have whatever standards she likes. But she also have to accept that the hig…	/r/PurplePillDebate	18/03/26 01:36 PM
0	The majority of men don’t have the privilege of not caring about sex. There's a correlation/causation issue here. The two things are correlated, but that doesn't mean that having sex makes you more successful. It's just as likely, if not more likely, that the traits that leads someone to them being successful also leads them to having more sex. A lot of men who are struggling are isolated, lonely and depressed, maybe resorting to different kinds of addictions. These things also make it harder to be successful in life. it's one big ball all mixed together. It's not…	/r/PurplePillDebate	17/03/26 04:55 PM
6	"The common denominator is you." No. There are multiple common denominators like being a man trying to date a woman in modern times. No, there's something besides sex that you can get from a partner that you can't get anywhere else. It's a deeper bond and commitment that goes beyond friendship. There's a reason why most people cuddle with their partner but don't with their friends. You can have a deep sense of loyalty, enjoyment, connection and safety with a partner that you can't quite get with friends. BUT...it can't be a one way street. You have to be willing to give your partner everything they give you. The problem is a …	/r/PurplePillDebate	15/03/26 06:55 PM
1	What’s a recurring pattern in your dating life, and what do you think it says about you? I think it sounds like you're doing things very well. It's really hard to answer without seeing in detail what your friends are doing compared to what you're doing. Sometimes the details matter. What would be interesting is asking the women who makes the first moves on you compared to the women who rejected your friend. Even if they couldn't pin down exactly what it is, they could at least describe what they felt. Maybe you're better at active listening. Maybe your body language or eye contact i…	/r/PurplePillDebate	15/03/26 06:15 PM
6	"The common denominator is you." No. There are multiple common denominators like being a man trying to date a woman in modern times. See, the problem is your line about not everyone liking or needing friends. I think that's a huge problem. I think it's very hard to be in a healthy relationship if neither person in the relationship has any friends outside of the relationship. I don't think any two people are meant to put EVERYTHING on one another. Your partner is never going to like all of the things you do. No person is going to match you in every way. You need someone you can be very emotionally intimate with. But I think yo…	/r/PurplePillDebate	15/03/26 05:52 PM
2	"The common denominator is you." No. There are multiple common denominators like being a man trying to date a woman in modern times. To me I think the high standards are a result of these apps, so you work around them. It’s always been about social connections to me. The apps make people focus on the more superficial things. It’s harder to show you’re a cool person. But if you have friends who know you’re a cool person, they’re more likely to know other people you don’t and you get chances to meet them. They can recommend you to the people they know. This is where every good relationship I’ve had has come from. Because the pe…	/r/PurplePillDebate	15/03/26 04:50 PM
2	"The common denominator is you." No. There are multiple common denominators like being a man trying to date a woman in modern times. The key issue with all of this is that it’s different for every person. There is some luck involved. There’s sone stuff beyond a guy’s control and there’s sone stuff in his control. There are going to be some guys that no matter what they do they’re not going to have success. But there are also guys who don’t do everything they can, and then blame it on others and don’t take any accountability. And all kinds of things in between. All you can do is maximize your probabilities. That’s it. Spending…	/r/PurplePillDebate	15/03/26 04:35 PM
–	Men need to adapt to a world where they may permanently fail romantically. Any method to survive that eventuality is fair game You’re completely misinterpreting what I’m saying because you’re taking a general point I’m making about life and applying it to romance and relationships. You‘re attaching every sense of your own happiness and self worth to love and romance, which is something outside of your control. how others feel about you will never be in your control. there are other things about your minda nd how you view yourself and your life outside of romance that are in your control. Whether you learn to control the…	/r/PurplePillDebate	14/03/26 09:20 PM
3	Men are in a desert and women are in swamp is misandry. No, but you said this sub wasn’t a representation of the general dating population. I was explaining that’s not what I said. I was comparing the men on this sub to the population of the men on dating apps. And my point was that the general dating population is not the same as the population of men using dating apps. and part of the potential crossover (and difference between the dating population as a whole) could be a lack of success, which may be related to the qualities of people…which maybe …	/r/PurplePillDebate	14/03/26 09:07 PM
0	Men are in a desert and women are in swamp is misandry. dating apps are also not representative of the entire dating population either. There are poeple who date who choose not to use dating apps either. They may also be people who have more success with dating, particularly because dating apps are designed to keep people hooked on the apps, not lead to success. so dating apps aren’t a random sample either,	/r/PurplePillDebate	14/03/26 08:48 PM
–	Men need to adapt to a world where they may permanently fail romantically. Any method to survive that eventuality is fair game If you believe hope is a poison, I don’t see your path to happiness. one of our biggest problems in life as humans is four inability to dela with uncertainty. We hate uncertainty so much that we often will assume a negative outcome will happen, causing us mental pain before it has even happened, rather than wait and see what does happen and live with the uncertainty in the meantime. this is called negativity bias. cynicism is assuming things will go badly no matter what you do. optimism is assum…	/r/PurplePillDebate	14/03/26 08:45 PM
0	Men are in a desert and women are in swamp is misandry. Size makes no difference. A small population can be representative of a larger population. what matters is if the type of people on this sub proportionately match up with the type of people who use dating apps. why should I believe you over women who actually have experience dating men? What makes you any more trustworthy than them? If you’re so quick to think they’re lying, what reason would anyone have to think any differently of what you believe? If all I have to go on is what someone is sayi…	/r/PurplePillDebate	14/03/26 08:36 PM
–	Men need to adapt to a world where they may permanently fail romantically. Any method to survive that eventuality is fair game I think it’s a really good point. Pexpel often look to “blame” someone when things go bad, whether it’s themselves or someoen else. that blaming does no one any good.	/r/PurplePillDebate	14/03/26 08:15 PM
–	Men need to adapt to a world where they may permanently fail romantically. Any method to survive that eventuality is fair game I don’t knew if k agree with every detail of the OP but I don’t disagree with a lot of the main premise. for everyone, there are things you can control and things you can’t. you have to figure out what you can control, whatever that is, and focus on that. it doesn’t mean that life is fair or that everyone has the opportunity for the same levels of happiness. but I think it’s better to maximize whatever happiness you csn find. some people might say all I can get is a 0. maybe that’s true for some…	/r/PurplePillDebate	14/03/26 08:14 PM
2	Men are in a desert and women are in swamp is misandry. I don’t know if this sub is a good indicator of what online dating pools of men are like, but if it is, I can totally believe this. I don’t know how many men on here I’ve seen only want women for sex, are desperate to be with any woman (hence the whole desert analogy of the OP..thirsting for ANY water) can’t imagine being friends with women because they‘re “boring”, have never shown any interest to listening to women, only have negative things to say about about women. I never seem to hear men s…	/r/PurplePillDebate	14/03/26 08:01 PM
7	Men are in a desert and women are in swamp is misandry. I think this is why a lot of these conversations are destined to go nowhere. If one side believes men are a privileged group (and that word itself is enough to make someone so defensive that the conversation shuts down) in the same way they would for race, class or sexual orientation, and the other views them as equal (or thinks that women have privilege), that is a fundamental difference in belief. It becomes a debate game of people trying to out fact or out wit each other that ends up going no…	/r/PurplePillDebate	14/03/26 01:42 PM
8	Men are in a desert and women are in swamp is misandry. I honestly think this is the crux of the issue. this whole online group think thing is part of it. everyone only sees things from their point of view, has a “grass is greener” mentality, and we get into a victim mentality/suffering Olympics situation. and then it becomes so tribal that people can’t even take one minute to imagine that someone else might have a problem that they don’t, or if they do, it’s so minor that it’s not worth talking about. I myself do think as a whole women still do have…	/r/PurplePillDebate	14/03/26 12:52 PM
0	You’re not a good person just because you proclaim so. so where I agree with the OP is that there are a lot of guys who claim to be good/nice because they don’t SA women or aren’t outright jerks to them, while still being so desperate for attention from women that they don’t think about what they can provide women, only what women can provide them. however, I think this whole concept of a “good guy” is flawed from the beginning, reslly like any sort of good/bad situation. Because it’s set up as a binary instead of a scale. like there are only two ca…	/r/PurplePillDebate	14/03/26 12:40 PM
1	Dating is a numbers game now, and the best way to find a decent partner is to try to get to know as many people as possible There's a difference between people you don't like and people you like but you arent' attracted to and aren't fit to be a partner. Sure, some of the descriptions in the OP would probably be people you wouldn't want to spend time with, but not all of them.	/r/PurplePillDebate	13/03/26 12:03 PM
15	Why are yall downvoting women saying they love their husbands? I'm basing it on the comments that I've seen in this sub. I don't see many women on here saying "women don't love their husbands because men are trashy". I have seen comments from men saying "women who marry guys who aren't hot are settling and aren't attracted to them" or "women only marry unattractive guys for their money." I also said my comment was based on the comments I've seen and I said it was my guess. I'm certainly open to the idea of being wrong, since there's no way to tell.	/r/PurplePillDebate	12/03/26 12:19 PM
9	Why are yall downvoting women saying they love their husbands? you don’t. you stay humble and assume you don’t know everything and get comfortable with uncertainty and being able to honestly admit “I don’t know.”. you learn to take things on an individual case by case basis. the only time you need to “spot lies” is in your own life when it comes to your own relationships. making the assumption that you know all women, and that random women on thr internet who say they love their husbands are automatically lying, is acting like you know everything about ever…	/r/PurplePillDebate	12/03/26 10:29 AM
12	Why are yall downvoting women saying they love their husbands? Bingo.	/r/PurplePillDebate	11/03/26 11:04 PM
1	The Pressure to Be "Interesting" I guess what you’re describing kind of feels foreign to me, maybe that’s why it feels like we’re talking about different things. i don’t feel any more pressure to perform or be interesting from women than I do from men. I mean, if you’re talking about hobbies and things, it just feels like women and men as a whole often like different things. But I don’t know if women shame men for that any more than men shame women. and I’ve never had trouble finding women who are into the same things i like. i…	/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates	11/03/26 11:02 PM
2	Why are yall downvoting women saying they love their husbands? There’s a difference between acknowledging that they are FACTORS without saying they are the only ones or the deciding ones.	/r/PurplePillDebate	11/03/26 10:52 PM
70	Why are yall downvoting women saying they love their husbands? based on some of the comments I’ve heard in this sub, this is my guess. some men believe women only like men for looks or money or status, and any woman who marries a man for any reasons others than these is “settling” and doesn’t love him because she’s not actually attracted to him. so they think any woman who says thigns she genuinely loves about her husband is lying unless it’s about money or looks. these type of men seem to base their entire sense of self worth on their looks or money or sta…	/r/PurplePillDebate	11/03/26 10:38 PM
3	The Pressure to Be "Interesting" I get what you’re saying. It might be because I’m older (42), but my experience hasn’t been that way. I‘ve always gotten along well with women as friends. I have both men and women friends and I see the good things about both. thr gender divide may be stronger with younger people with all of these algorithms feeding the division and the outlandish shock value takes online. to be honest, I don’t come to this sub a ton. As much as I understand the issues with how parts of feminism dishes out so mu…	/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates	11/03/26 10:09 PM
6	The Pressure to Be "Interesting" To me I think part of the issue is keeping dating and romantic relationships separate from general discourse. And it seems like part of the issue is the whole idea of men being desperate to be in relationships with women. Because if that's the case, it makes you feel like you have to earn your sense of worth based on how someone else, particularly a woman, views you, then you're putting how you view yourself in the control of someone else. I don't think there's anything wrong with a woman decidi…	/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates	11/03/26 05:56 PM
3	Women should not be asked to settle I thin you have an incredibly cynical view of marriage of you think most people are just roommates. the media‘s perception of marriage is just that, designed to for entertainment. And it’s a very bleak view of women to say that they don’t find their husbands attractive or love them. by your definition, marriage is impossible to be successful past a certain age. Everyvody gets old. Everyone will lose the physical looks and that aspect of attractiveness as they get older. To say that these people …	/r/PurplePillDebate	09/03/26 01:26 AM
7	Do women value/need safety and social/emotional signals to be intimate? It's really interesting. As a man, I definitely agree from the physical standpoint I've never felt unsafe when it comes to intimacy, and I don't know if I've truly felt scared in the way you're describing in a situation like that. However, for me emotional safety is extremely important, and I have been with women where I didn't feel emotionally safe...and it killed any attraction that I had for them. I don't think I'm fully demi-sexual in the strictest sense, but it does feel like compared to mo…	/r/PurplePillDebate	08/03/26 08:35 PM
6	Women should not be asked to settle Then what happens when those looks fade and go away? Does the whole relationship automatically collapse? There's a difference between initiation and what happens all the time afterwards. But if attraction is only part of the initiation, then that means once you get past it, other factors are much more important. And that means the only issue is bypassing the initiation, which can be done with things beyond just looks.	/r/PurplePillDebate	08/03/26 07:55 PM
4	Women should not be asked to settle I think you're putting way too much emphasis on this "lust" idea. LIke the main/only reason marriages fail is because someone chose someone they didn't lust over or "desire". You're basically saying women are asking for too much when they're looking for real qualities in men and need to lower THOSE standards, but that they're settling when they value those things over more superficial things like looks. Relationships are way more complicated than that. They're just as likely to fail when they "l…	/r/PurplePillDebate	08/03/26 04:24 PM
5	Women should not be asked to settle in your opinion what is the difference between lowering standards and settling?	/r/PurplePillDebate	08/03/26 03:49 PM
5	Women should not be asked to settle I agree that you need attraction as a base line, but your OP made it seem like that attraction is based on looks and status. I think attraction CAN grow because ti can be based on things that aren’t static or fixed. I also don’t think attraction is a binary…it’s a scale. I don’t think you can just split people into people you’re attracted to at all and people you’re not. You can be attracted to someoen at didfent levels. And that level of acceptance can be different for different people. where I…	/r/PurplePillDebate	08/03/26 03:47 PM
14	Women should not be asked to settle here’s my problem with this when it comes to long term relationships. if your attraction is based only on looks, and you say the attraction has to stay there long term…those looks are not going to stay the same forever. this is saying every relationship is doomed to fail in the long term. that two old people will never be attracted to each other because they don’t look good any more. I agree with you that women (or anyone) shouldn’t settle, but I define setting different than you. I base it on t…	/r/PurplePillDebate	08/03/26 03:19 PM
1	There is no blue pill ideology And actually, I saw a comment saying wouldn’t non-Christisn just be no-pilled? Why even have a blue pill option? which is a fair point. For me, I don’t want to use the word “anti-Christian”, since I think that’s a little too harsh, but I think Blue Pill vs. no pill would be that blue pillers tend to be against thr red pill becasue of the damage they see it do, whereas no pillers kind of don’t care one way or the other. like…people can be against modern Christianity in the west and think it’s don…	/r/PurplePillDebate	08/03/26 12:37 PM
1	There is no blue pill ideology I think the Christianity/religion argument is probably a good anaalgiy for this whole red pill/blue pill thing. red pill is like Christianity (or choose any religion that fits). blue pill is just saying you’re not Christian. you could be Muslim, Hindu, atheist or anything else. thr issue is Christianity is so diverse, with so many different sects and denominations and variations that it’s hard to come up with a concrete, defined practical definition of it. I mean, during the Reformation Protesta…	/r/PurplePillDebate	08/03/26 12:16 PM
2	CMV: The reason men and women keep talking past each other about dating standards is because they are measuring completely different things and calling it the same conversation Yeah, like with anything, there are always caveats and details. It’s certainly possible for poeple to have success on thr apps, and I definitely don’t see anything wrong with people using them to meet new people or find friends or things like that. and it sounds like part of what helped you is you had fhr right attitude about it. You were open to experiences and realized there’s some luck involved and basically weren’t desperate and didn’t view it as a quick fix to a complex issue. but one thign…	/r/PurplePillDebate	07/03/26 12:02 PM
5	CMV: The reason men and women keep talking past each other about dating standards is because they are measuring completely different things and calling it the same conversation this is a rrally great ppint that I think gets overlooked in so many of these conversations. online dating and dating apps are a horrible representation of real human interaction. I think a large part of thr problem is modern dating is based on these apps (especially since they’re designed to keep people using them, not designed to make people be successful in dating). in real life you’re not meant to have so much easy access and choice without putting in work. in addition, the group of of peopl…	/r/PurplePillDebate	07/03/26 10:34 AM
3	Men leaving for younger women is natural That's what gets me about a lot of these red pill mentalities. When they keep going for younger women, they keep saying "they're all so immature and shallow!" Yeah, because people mature and learn from their mistakes and learn what makes them happier in the long run. If you base your opinions of "all women" based on young women because that's all you're going for, you don't see your bias. And you're probably not going to have a good relationship with that person.	/r/PurplePillDebate	06/03/26 04:22 PM
1	Men leaving for younger women is natural Speed dating is like app dating in that it's a quick and shallow attempt for people who are desperate and want a quick way to get the results they want. You're automatically going to have a situation where's people's superficial instincts are being played into. It's ridiculous to try to talk to that many people all at once and you're forced to go with your initial gut instinct. It's still not indicative of real human interaction. This doesn't mean it CAN'T work. Dating apps CAN work. But you're …	/r/PurplePillDebate	06/03/26 04:09 PM
2	Men leaving for younger women is natural I'm also over this "settling" narrative. If you paint women as all shallow and say anytime they're with any man who's not a "Chad" there's no way they could love them, then there's nothing they can do that will break your narrative. It's unfalsifiable. And there's no point in having that conversation. Because I don't know what any woman could do that would prove you otherwise. If they only get with "attractive" men, they're shallow whores. If they get with "unattractive" men, they don't love the…	/r/PurplePillDebate	06/03/26 03:34 PM
2	Men leaving for younger women is natural I would say the same thing about her. But that's not what the OP was about. But this isn't about a "traditional" role. Wanting to be with a committed partner has nothing to do with "tradition".	/r/PurplePillDebate	06/03/26 03:12 PM
2	Men leaving for younger women is natural Because that's a narrative based on dating apps which don't reflect reality. There are plenty of men not in the "tpp 20%" who have been married to women for years. But, if a woman is only marrying for money or looks or anything else, I would say the same thing about her.	/r/PurplePillDebate	06/03/26 03:11 PM
5	Men leaving for younger women is natural I agree with you. I always view it like so many other things...instant gratification of something that feels good and easy vs. building something that takes more time, energy, work and effort that is actually satisfying and fulfilling. To me it's like junk food and being lazy vs. healthy eating and exercise.	/r/PurplePillDebate	06/03/26 02:59 PM
2	Men leaving for younger women is natural If we're talking about if this is going to happen or not I agree with you. It's the set up of society. To me the bigger question is if this is something that's good for them or not. Just like how how everyone eats sugar or doomscrolls because these things are pushed on people. If a man is going to ditch his wife just because he gets bored of her physically and wants a younger woman, what did he ever even have with his wife? If he was just with her for her looks and body, then he basically just v…	/r/PurplePillDebate	06/03/26 02:54 PM
–	“Women date ugly guys all the time” is just not true I totally agree.	/r/PurplePillDebate	06/03/26 12:32 AM
–	“Women date ugly guys all the time” is just not true to me, that actually supports the point I like to make even more. for any guy complaining that women don’t like unattractive men, he’s doing the exact same thing is he’s not willing to date unattractive women. instead of throwing a pity party, they can go out there and be like all of those unattractive guys with those women. but they’ll say NO woman will ever like a guy like that. to me it’s hypocrisy.	/r/PurplePillDebate	06/03/26 12:31 AM
–	Ladies, If you’re not attracted to 90-95% of men, that’s not a male problem.. thats a YOU problem To me, this is one of those things that it's all on the people who are unhappy or complaining to solve. If it's a woman who is unhappy with how her dating is going, she either has to change her strategy, adjust her standards, or accept being single. She can complain about it as much as she wants, but she has to focus on what is in her control. But if she's happy, then it's not her problem. Likewise, if men are the ones unhappy and complaining about women having too high of a standard, it's up to…	/r/PurplePillDebate	03/03/26 03:02 PM
2	Most men who are struggling with dating have not exhausted all options But the difference is that women aren't quite as dependent on physical attraction as men are. But again, this is why dating apps are so bad. They emphasize the physical attraction more, so women on dating apps are going to be sucked in by the physical attraction moreso than women not on dating apps are. Because the apps play into that particular part of our brains, and make it override all of the things you get when you get to meet a real person. This is why blind dating used to be a much bigger…	/r/PurplePillDebate	02/03/26 08:45 PM
2	Most men who are struggling with dating have not exhausted all options The difference is that in person attraction can both grow and fade. You can see someone and think they're only ok, but when you get to know them better your attraction can grow. The same is true for it fading...you could see someone who looks good and you're initially attracted to, but then you get to know them and it's a turn off. But when you're on the apps, all of the more superficial traits drown that out. You only see pictures and text. You're not seeing a real person.	/r/PurplePillDebate	02/03/26 08:27 PM
2	Most men who are struggling with dating have not exhausted all options I think the two things are related though. When you have so many men flooding the apps because they want sex, women get overwhelmed with messages and input. It takes so much to just sift through all of the constant influx of messages to find someone who stands out in any way. It increases the volume on their end. So when that volume is so high, the percentage of men who do get the attention is very small. So the men who do want legitimate dates get drowned out by all of the men who just want sex…	/r/PurplePillDebate	02/03/26 08:10 PM
2	Most men who are struggling with dating have not exhausted all options I think part of the problem isn't with "dating" necessarily. Or I guess it depends on what you mean by dating. Out of all of the men who are interested, how many of them want to actually date to try to form something more serious, and how many of them are just looking for sex? We could argue forever about the reasons for this, but when men are so eager for sex, they're going to flood these dating apps. In our culture what's certainly true is that there are more men eager for sex than there are w…	/r/PurplePillDebate	02/03/26 07:57 PM
3	If hypergamy is real why do you think that listening to men is useful? Bingo.	/r/PurplePillDebate	02/03/26 06:57 PM
1	Men say that they don't have in group bias, because it's not proven, but it actually is. No meta study popped up in th search. Do you have a link for it? I saw no studies in the search that dealt with any kind of discussion of male or female in group bias other than the one I mentioned.	/r/PurplePillDebate	02/03/26 03:52 AM
1	Men say that they don't have in group bias, because it's not proven, but it actually is. Funnily enough, when that search popped up, one of the first articles was how there is a bias against women in stem hiring. https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/10.1177/08912432221137910 besides that one, the only other one out for the first ten that popped up that even dealt with mens in group bias was one that said the same thing as the Rodman one…a general implict warmth based feelings bias, that has little to nothing to do with the actions mentioned in the OP. none of the others dealt with men o…	/r/PurplePillDebate	02/03/26 03:13 AM
–	What is the actual material incentive to truly treat women as equal? there are plenty of women who ar with men who are not conventionally attractive. You csn see it all of thr tiem if you go to any public place. On average women in couples are more attractive than the men they are with. if you can’t see that, then nothing I say will convince you otherwise. you say you listen to women but you don’t believe what they say. As if you can see the truth and they cannot. That views them as someone who is ruled by lust and looks. Talking about them like they’re some fore…	/r/PurplePillDebate	02/03/26 03:04 AM
–	What is the actual material incentive to truly treat women as equal? I think you’re looking a thr issues women face from thr lens of a man. I think that’s why you simplify the problems they face. for men, we simply don’t face the same kinds of dangers they face in relationships and dating. we don’t know what it’s like to date men. there are women who are not attractive who also get overlooked and/or used by men. there are women who have never had a boyfriend. there have women who have been used and cast aside, viewed as nothing more than a body to have sex with. …	/r/PurplePillDebate	02/03/26 01:32 AM
–	What is the actual material incentive to truly treat women as equal? First off, I'm a man, not a woman. Second, you're doing the exact same thing to women that you accuse them of doing to men. You're saying women's problems are all of their own doing, and men's are because society treats men like victims. You don't know what it's like to be a woman. You're assuming that they get heard and sympathized with just because it seems like that on the outside to you. Men complain about women too. Just read this sub. It doesn't sound to me like you're willing to actually …	/r/PurplePillDebate	02/03/26 12:17 AM
–	What is the actual material incentive to truly treat women as equal? This doesn’t seem to help women. Women have just as many mental health struggles as men. It’s not easy for any of us. there are plenty of women who don’t have the sisterhood you refer to, they can tear each other down just like men can. That’s why you have to work to be as positive asyou csn with other people. I have both men and women in my life who value me for who I am. It’s not impossible.	/r/PurplePillDebate	01/03/26 11:43 PM
2	What is the actual material incentive to truly treat women as equal? Yeah, i think that’s why it’s always good for everyone to fully understand their needs in a relationship and to make sure they’re being met, so I applaud you for that. I don’t think it’s impossible for men and women to have healthy heterosexual relationships, though. It all depends on the needs of each person. I have friends who have been in long marriages and by an all acounts have healthy and happy relationships. Not perfect by any means, but no relationship ever is.	/r/PurplePillDebate	28/02/26 06:25 PM
5	What is the actual material incentive to truly treat women as equal? this is kind of a deep side topic, but what i find both interesting and helpful is determining why so many men are this way and how it can be changed. I definitely don’t believe it‘s strictly biological. I believe men have the same capacity for empathy that women have. I also believe empathy is a skill that can be learned, as well as other skills like EQ and self awareness. I really believe it’s a two sided issue and sometimes people put too much on one side or the other. I do believe part of it…	/r/PurplePillDebate	28/02/26 04:08 PM
4	What is the actual material incentive to truly treat women as equal? I think the problem is the assumption that the two things are that directly tied together. our minds tend to want to view things in simple terms and look for “patterns” instead of focusing on what goes against those patterns. the line “overwhelming majority” of women want to be submissive is just a belief. I know feminist men who are happily married. people try to simplify these things into little boxes. treating women as equals is not the ONlY reason why OP has had troubles with dating. and sud…	/r/PurplePillDebate	28/02/26 03:51 PM
2	Men say that they don't have in group bias, because it's not proven, but it actually is. There's so much to deconstruct here that I may not be able to fully go into detail about it, since I feel like this conversation could go on forever. I've gotten into the biological essentialism conversation with people before and it feels like it goes nowhere, since people have their minds made up and nothing will convince them otherwise. But I find the gender equality paradox argument to be completely bogus. At most, any research done shows a country-level correlation between gender equality l…	/r/PurplePillDebate	28/02/26 03:04 AM
1	Normal adults accept that their fantasies will rarely become reality. I think it depends on the cost of time, energy and resources that you have to put in or give up. For example, I could be open to the fantasy of winning the lottery. But if I let that drive me to make decisions towards it, I could end up making the bad decision of continuing to buy lottery tickets until I lose all of my money. I could be open to the possibility of driving in my car without a seatbelt and never getting into an accident where it saves me. Does that mean it's smart for me to never w…	/r/PurplePillDebate	28/02/26 01:36 AM
1	Normal adults accept that their fantasies will rarely become reality. Timing is a key element though. How realistic a goal is isn't just based on the goal itself, but in what amount of time you're allowed to achieve it in. And the larger and more idealistic the goal is, the more likely that you won't have enough time in your lifetime to achieve it. It's one thing to have a goal to cure all cancer one day. It's another to have a goal to cure all cancer by tomorrow.	/r/PurplePillDebate	28/02/26 01:15 AM
11	Self improvement is the correct approach, but after self improvement, meeting women is still a big challenge I think part of the problem is that when you're DESPERATE for a date or a relationship or finding a woman, it automatically has a way of making you shoot yourself in the foot. Like with the hobby class example you mentioned. If you're going there primarily to try to meet women to date, then yeah, it's creepy and disingenuous. I think what guys tend to miss about all of this stuff is that they get so laser focused on finding romance that they don't focus on social skills and networking and connec…	/r/PurplePillDebate	28/02/26 12:03 AM
2	Normal adults accept that their fantasies will rarely become reality. The thing is that it's a scale, though. You're setting it up like there are two ends of a extreme, a binary that you have to choose from. Like realistic is exactly here and now and the opposite end is fantasy, and those are the only two choices. You can still be hopeful for things without pinning your hopes on things that are extremely unlikely. You can be realistic while still hoping for more than what you currently have. You should be open to things, but not open to EVERYTHING.	/r/PurplePillDebate	27/02/26 11:53 PM
2	Men say that they don't have in group bias, because it's not proven, but it actually is. Ok, so I will grant you the point that by using the phrase "in group bias" and not clearly defining what she meant by it, the OP opened the door to have commenters bring in their own definition of it. She did say to start off that she sees a different kinds of in group bias that is just "labeled differently" (which was her point), but I think by using that phrase in particular it kept people from focusing on what she was actually saying. But if you read her whole post, it's ALL about competence …	/r/PurplePillDebate	27/02/26 11:36 PM
2	Men say that they don't have in group bias, because it's not proven, but it actually is. But like my first comment stated, the in group bias the OP is talking about is NOT the same as the in group bias the commenters are talking about. That's the context I'm talking about. There's a difference between competence and credibility compared to warmth and emotional perception. So far, the only study that I've seen anyone post about men and womens' in group bias is the one that focuses on people's feelings of warmth and emotional perception, not competence. And that is all from the study …	/r/PurplePillDebate	27/02/26 08:29 PM
3	Men say that they don't have in group bias, because it's not proven, but it actually is. You're generalizing. There are different contexts in which people do tend to value men more than women. These contexts line up with what the OP is talking about. The conversation is about acting like those don't exist. The conversation is not about men being valued more than women in every single possible context you could ever come up with in every single possible situation.	/r/PurplePillDebate	27/02/26 07:57 PM
2	Men say that they don't have in group bias, because it's not proven, but it actually is. So the answer is let one person do whatever they want no matter how much everyone hates it, just because that person will throw a fit? What do you mean "land you in some real shit"? There's a way you can hold people accountable, if everyone gets on board with it, that shouldn't be the fault of everyone if they have a reasonable request. Especially any supervisor or manager who knows one person's behavior is a problem to everyone else, they should know how to address it with that one person. Espe…	/r/PurplePillDebate	27/02/26 04:25 PM
3	Men say that they don't have in group bias, because it's not proven, but it actually is. And yet men seem to have a hard time going to each other when they need emotional support. Maybe dudes' ways of communicating with one another isn't perfect. If they're so happy with how they communicate, then why do they need women at all? They can just enjoy their own company and leave women alone.	/r/PurplePillDebate	27/02/26 01:30 PM
3	Men say that they don't have in group bias, because it's not proven, but it actually is. What are some of your many many studies? The only one I've seen posted prominently here is the Rudman and Goodwin one from Rutgers. There are studies that show that men (and people in general) view men as more competent than women.	/r/PurplePillDebate	27/02/26 01:28 PM
4	Men say that they don't have in group bias, because it's not proven, but it actually is. There's a difference between implicit attitudes of warmth and valuing competence. Read the first part of the paper you just mentioned: "Around the world and throughout history, men have enjoyed higher status than women. They continue to possess enormous advantages in terms of political power and economic resources as well as a greater endowment of perceived competence, rationality, and physical strength. As a result, men and women alike automatically associate male gender with power (Rudman, Gre…	/r/PurplePillDebate	27/02/26 01:25 PM
3	Men say that they don't have in group bias, because it's not proven, but it actually is. This is where it's very important to define what in group bias means. What that paper talks about is not necessarily the same thing that the OP is talking about. That paper measures implicit preference that women have towards women and men towards men. It measures general "warmth" and likeability. A general positive view. That's not the same as competence or credibility. Men can still view other men as more competent and believable than women and still not view men in a positive light. It's like…	/r/PurplePillDebate	27/02/26 01:18 PM
2	Studies against Men Are Often Designed to Confirm a Narrative, Not Find Truth I can accept that there can be faults in some studies and that headlines are sometimes used to push narratives in a direction different than what the study actually says. I do think that we all have to careful of our own bias though. If we actively look to seek out all of the studies that we find problematic for one group, but don't put that exact same time and energy and effort to find studies in the opposite direction, that's an example of selection or confirmation bias. We all have a tendency…	/r/PurplePillDebate	26/02/26 04:41 PM
1	Are We Treating Male Psychology as a Problem to Be Fixed? Sure. But to me the more interesting question is how much and in what ways can those asymmetries be changed by environment. There's so much in culture that affects us and how we perceive so much in life. And even when it comes to impulse control. Definitely how children are raised affects how well they can control their impulses in general. So if certain negative male impulses are allowed or even encouraged as a young age (and this could translate to negative female impulses as well), they are m…	/r/PurplePillDebate	26/02/26 03:02 PM
0	Are We Treating Male Psychology as a Problem to Be Fixed? Sure. That's a fair point that they'll never be exactly the same. But this is where we get into the weeds of the complexity of the topic. How exactly it translates into behavior. How much of the behavior is due to environment. How impulse control is based on childhood experiences. If environment can reduce the effect of how difficult it is to control negative impulses, then maybe the biological component can be mitigated enough that it's fairly inconsequential.	/r/PurplePillDebate	26/02/26 01:28 PM
0	Are We Treating Male Psychology as a Problem to Be Fixed? Yeah, but the exact extent is very much up for debate. It's currently impossible to say what degree those impulses can be affected by socialization. When they're allowed much more frequently from a very young age with no mitigation, they're much harder to control as an adult. You can see this in the variation amongst males.	/r/PurplePillDebate	26/02/26 12:52 PM
2	Are We Treating Male Psychology as a Problem to Be Fixed? I definitely agree with that on an individual basis. We all have things wired into our brains that aren’t fit for modern society that we have to overcome to make our lives the best and happiest. however, thr op framed this as specifically gendered. As if to say women don’t have to overcome these traits and men do. I csn see that as being unfair in saying that certain people’s biology is superior based on how they were born, and their inpusles are fine but others are not. You can make the argumen…	/r/PurplePillDebate	26/02/26 11:40 AM
3	Are We Treating Male Psychology as a Problem to Be Fixed? the issue I have with the OP is the idea that these “male” traits stem from biology and are innate to men. if you believe these are things that can’t be helped then it feels unfair to ask men to change something that just “comes naturally to them”. but I don’t think these traits are innate. I think they’re very socialized and I don’t find them beneficial. I think that’s why modern society is moving away from them more. to be clear on which ones I’m talking about, I don’t mean confidence and emti…	/r/PurplePillDebate	26/02/26 11:10 AM
5	This "treat me like a human" thing that women repeat is something men could say too. what do you want women to do on dates to show what it is you’re asking? try to be as specific as possible. I’ve heard the answer to this question from women. I’m curious to see if your answer is the same. what would you like them to do during a date to am,e you feel connected with, seen and considered?	/r/PurplePillDebate	26/02/26 10:53 AM
-1	What is your strongest Pro Blue Pill Argument? I agree with you to a certain degree. I do think young boys are done a disservice by our society. however, I think a lot of it is from norms that are based on a certain degree of entitlement and pressures of value of masculinity from other men. like having sex is what makes you valuable, not having a true respectful relationship. that you should be able to get a girlfriend, not that you have to work on yourself and bring something of value to her to make a relationship balanced. they want the ea…	/r/PurplePillDebate	26/02/26 03:59 AM
0	What is your strongest Pro Blue Pill Argument? I read an article a while back on this. I’ve been so tempted to post thr ideas here to red oilers, but I feel like they’ll just deny it all or argue or not care so it hasn’t been worth it to me. it was basically saying that red pill me. may get you sex. but it will be with naive, immature, shallow women who rhey’re just taking advantage of. she will never love him, and once she realizes how he manipulated her, she’ll leave him and he’ll just move on to the next one. he‘LL never respect women bec…	/r/PurplePillDebate	26/02/26 03:26 AM
–	Men have strong "men are wonderful" bias which makes it impossible to talk about any behavior any men display. if you’re talking about an individual person, sure. if a person judged you you can judge them back. but if one person judged you (or a subset of people within a group who do not represent the whole group) , and then you say it’s an entire group of people doing it, how are you not doing the same thing you’re accusing them of? this is why it’s relevant where you’re finding the women saying it. what random women that you are not actively seeking out are calling you names? you, as an individual.	/r/PurplePillDebate	25/02/26 10:27 PM
–	Men have strong "men are wonderful" bias which makes it impossible to talk about any behavior any men display. It is very relevant to know who the women are to you, because that dictates your perceived experience of women. If you only go into spaces with toxic women, and that is your only experience with women, then your mind will associate all women with toxicity. And then you say “well, in my experience 99% of women are toxic” and then act like it’s an accurate picture. How is a woman who you don’t interact with at all discriminating against you? If you’re talking about women on social media, you’re ac…	/r/PurplePillDebate	25/02/26 10:03 PM
–	Men have strong "men are wonderful" bias which makes it impossible to talk about any behavior any men display. Are these women that you have friendships, acquaintanceships, as co workers, or other types of relationships with? Or are they just random women you're looking at online trying to post rage bait for clicks? I'm assuming that women who think it is all men must avoid me in real life, which is why I have never heard their opinion about it...and therefore it means nothing to me, since I will never interact with them. And yet I've had no problem finding plenty of women in my life who don't think this…	/r/PurplePillDebate	25/02/26 07:41 PM
–	Men have strong "men are wonderful" bias which makes it impossible to talk about any behavior any men display. Whether it's offensive or not is completely up to the person who interprets it. If someone doesn't want to listen to the message someone is giving and takes offense to it, nothing can be done. You're defining the situation in your own terms so you can take offense at it.	/r/PurplePillDebate	25/02/26 04:50 PM
–	Men have strong "men are wonderful" bias which makes it impossible to talk about any behavior any men display. The argument is not that men are more dangerous than bears by default. That's projecting. It's that women don't know what any random man is going to do. It's not predictable. Just like giving a random person your wallet. You don't know what they're going to do.	/r/PurplePillDebate	25/02/26 04:39 PM
–	Men have strong "men are wonderful" bias which makes it impossible to talk about any behavior any men display. Right...it is true that for all men, you don't KNOW for sure if someone is dangerous or not. This is why we lock our doors and our cars. It's why we tell children not to go off with strangers. If I asked someone to give me their wallet because I would give it back to them in ten minutes, am I offended that they don't? Why shouldn't they trust me? I know I'm going to return it in ten minutes. So am I right to get my feelings hurt and be offended by them not trusting me?	/r/PurplePillDebate	25/02/26 03:55 PM
–	Men have strong "men are wonderful" bias which makes it impossible to talk about any behavior any men display. You're misinterpreting the analogy. The bear is about an UNKNOWN man. When you're talking about women who have harmed men and children, these are most often women who KNOW these men and children. Men are not routinely harassed by random women they encounter. Most women I've talked to sympathize greatly with men who experience domestic violence. They don't want anyone to experience violence. Everyone who experiences that violence should be taken seriously. However, in my experience, men take male…	/r/PurplePillDebate	25/02/26 03:24 PM
–	Men have strong "men are wonderful" bias which makes it impossible to talk about any behavior any men display. There's a lot I can say about this topic, and I could probably go into more detail with focusing on specific examples. But here's my take on it. I think many men tend to view a lot of things in terms of binaries, and this simplified view makes it very easy to get defensive. You're either "good" or "bad". You're an evil man who commits SA or you're a wonderful guy. So when any sort of criticism comes in, they immediately get defensive. They will deflect from it to avoid being viewed as a horrible…	/r/PurplePillDebate	25/02/26 03:14 PM
–	Men have strong "men are wonderful" bias which makes it impossible to talk about any behavior any men display. You're trying to equate two things that are different. White people are not harassed by racial minorities at the same proportions that women are harassed by men. Their mentality is about prejudice to put someone down, not out of protecting themselves against a real threat. That is the "boomer" racist mentality you're talking about. It's used to gain and keep power, since white people have had power over racial minorities for a very long time. Women have never had this sort of power over men. If …	/r/PurplePillDebate	25/02/26 02:58 PM
–	Men have strong "men are wonderful" bias which makes it impossible to talk about any behavior any men display. The difference is that stats don't back it up. When people hold those views of minorities, they're acting like the minority has a larger likelihood of committing a crime compared to a white person. The same is not true for men and women. Statistically a man is more likely to sexually harass a woman than a woman is to harass a woman. This is also backed up by their experiences. Talk to just about any woman and they will tell you they've been harassed by a man before. I as a white person have neve…	/r/PurplePillDebate	25/02/26 02:41 PM
–	Men have strong "men are wonderful" bias which makes it impossible to talk about any behavior any men display. It's very easy to not take it personally. You just don't assume anything. Maybe she means some, maybe she means all. You don't HAVE to assume she means all. The majority of women I've talked to about this don't mean all men, and they actually think it should be so obvious they don't mean all men that they don't even bother saying it. The whole man/bear thing was not about all men, and I almost never heard a woman say it was. You're assuming something, getting emotional (taking it personally is a…	/r/PurplePillDebate	25/02/26 02:14 PM
–	Men have strong "men are wonderful" bias which makes it impossible to talk about any behavior any men display. It actually is just some men, but a lot of guys misinterpreted it. The point is a woman can't know just from meeting a man if he's one of those in the "some" group or not. And those guys don't listen to the explanation, they get defensive and automatically think it's about them, instead of listening to the woman and understanding her perspective.	/r/PurplePillDebate	25/02/26 02:09 PM
4	For those of you who complain about men who complain about not getting sex in relationships, saying that they should just seek hookups instead, would you be fine with those men complaining about their lack of access to hookups? If not, what is the right way for a man to complain about a lack of sex? I'd say stop complaining, not just about this, but about anything in life. Some complaining is ok. We all need to vent sometimes, and it does help to not bottle up everything. And it does feel nice to connect and relate to others who are going through similar things. But complaining again and again and again about something does nothing to help you. It's especially annoying to complain to others who don't want to hear it. But even beyond that....if it's something you can't change, complaining wo…	/r/PurplePillDebate	19/02/26 04:24 PM
3	The "Emotional Labor" Argument Is Wildly overplayed by women. I think this is one of those things where people tend to think of pretty extreme examples on their side and only focus on those instead of all of the areas in the middle. A man will use the example of towels being folded perfectly or needing 10 decorative cushions and how that's unreasonable. I don't think that's what most women are talking about. A woman might use the example of a man being absolutely filthy and disgusting, like NEVER doing any kind of chore. I don't think that's what men mean …	/r/PurplePillDebate	18/02/26 08:05 PM
3	The "Emotional Labor" Argument Is Wildly overplayed by women. This is where compromise is key. Low and high are all relative. When two people are separate, they can live however they want and it doesn't matter (though it's different when having guests over). But when getting into a relationship, when two people have different levels of cleanliness, they're going to have to find ways to meet in the middle or they're not going to be right for each other. If cleanliness is super important to one, they either have to find someone willing to live as cleanly as …	/r/PurplePillDebate	18/02/26 07:38 PM
4	The "Emotional Labor" Argument Is Wildly overplayed by women. So I think the issue is that women tend to take more initiative to get certain things done in a relationship. When a man is by himself, he does what he needs to do. But often what happens, especially after marriage, is the man gets used to the woman doing a lot of these things, and just naturally he starts forming habits of "oh, I don't have to do this because someone else is." A lot of times I don't think it's even a conscious thing, it's just there's other things going on in life and those hab…	/r/PurplePillDebate	18/02/26 07:32 PM
0	Men have been programmed to think sex is everything. I've never said men don't like sex. But women naturally like sex just as much as men. And yet their lives don't revolve around it. So many men let it overtake their lives, just like people do with other unhealthy habits. This is not men being who they are, because they have choices. Like you said, they have to take accountability. Not just say "this is how I was born, I can't control it" and use it as an excuse. I do think a lot of men in business and government deserve blame for decisions that …	/r/PurplePillDebate	03/02/26 11:02 PM
0	Men have been programmed to think sex is everything. You were saying men are all the same when you said: "But men in today’s society would be almost identical if none of those things existed." As if those were the only things that make men individuals. Men did willingly change. It's not like all of the men who stayed in the older ways of doing things were killed. You're right that the environments and society changed. Because PEOPLE changed, particularly men changed. And those who were in the minority chose to adapt. That means the same thing can …	/r/PurplePillDebate	03/02/26 10:24 PM
0	Men have been programmed to think sex is everything. So you're saying men used to rape and pillage because of how they are, and now they don't do that? So that means men can change. They have agency. Men are individuals with choice and control over their actions. Saying they're all the same is just laziness trying to excuse poor behavior. If they choose to think that raping and pillaging is right, they SHOULD be blamed for it.	/r/PurplePillDebate	03/02/26 08:24 PM
1	Men have been programmed to think sex is everything. To me I view craving sex as very similar to craving sugar. All humans crave sugar, and modern society has exploited that fact. To the point that over consumption is dangerous. Sex in itself isn't as dangerous as sugar, but like with drugs, it can motivate people to do immoral things if they're obsessed with it. This doesn't mean that men automatically will do so, but so many things in society encourage men to do so without as much social accountability or consequence. The difference is society d…	/r/PurplePillDebate	03/02/26 04:34 PM
5	The tenets of masculinity™️ overlap with conservatism which is why the ideology appeals to more males than females I may be wrong, but I don't think many people will disagree with this. They might debate some of the wording of some of the conservative qualities you mentioned, but I think most people tend to agree with that separation. Where the big divide seems to be how much of them are intrinsic or not, and therefore which of them are positive or not. If someone thinks they're innate, then they're always going to believe that men are going to lean more conservative and women are going to lean more liberal,…	/r/PurplePillDebate	08/01/26 07:25 PM
1	You Can’t "Prove" the Red Pill And That’s Not a Flaw I think part of this may be how we're defining terms. I don't define being "more respectful" as being fearful, insecure or desperate, nor do I think it's what women mean when they say they want a man who respects her. But if a guy is interpreting it that way, then yeah, I agree with you. Some of our other disagreements may stem from different goals or preferences. For example, I have never had a desire for casual sex. I understand I'm probably in the minority for guys when it comes to this. But …	/r/PurplePillDebate	09/06/25 09:38 PM
1	You Can’t "Prove" the Red Pill And That’s Not a Flaw I think we're pretty much on the same page. I think the two main issues I have with the way some of it is presented is when it's like a fake tool to get dates. All of the things you mentioned as making someone attractive are qualities that help someone in all aspects of life (with maybe a few small exceptions). Being more assertive helps someone in all of their relationships, not just dating. It makes friendships, family relationships, work relationships all better. Same with having a strong set…	/r/PurplePillDebate	09/06/25 05:16 PM
1	You Can’t "Prove" the Red Pill And That’s Not a Flaw I think what makes all of this so complicated is that "red pill" is defined to be many different things by many different people. I agree with everything you're saying (for the most part....I've heard many women say they are also attracted to the things you're pointing out, I don't it's a thing of "women are attracted to these things and either don't know it or are lying". THAT is the part many people claim that I Have a problem with) I don't find any of it untrue. I've read it in articles. If t…	/r/PurplePillDebate	09/06/25 04:26 PM
1	Women will never understand male plight and vice versa. There's some general truth to what you're saying in the aspect that you can never understand the depth of someone who has a vastly different set of experiences than yourself, and categories like gender, race, nationality, etc do create a common set of experiences that people connect on that people outside of that group can never fully grasp. But, this doesn't mean it has to be a black and white binary of fully understanding vs. not understanding at all (a few other people already made this point…	/r/PurplePillDebate	01/06/25 10:19 PM
4	Blue pillers, you are here to wage a spiritual war against purple/red pillers My thoughts pretty much exactly. Don't think I can sum it up much better than that.	/r/PurplePillDebate	30/05/25 02:36 PM
6	Women define a 'good guy' by his positive qualities—men define him by a lack of red flags That makes a lot of sense. I don't know if I've ever directly made that connection before. I've always thought about it in terms of comparison instead of seeing the connection to hierarchal thinking. That's very helpful.	/r/PurplePillDebate	29/05/25 09:49 PM
11	Women define a 'good guy' by his positive qualities—men define him by a lack of red flags What I've noticed with so many men on here is the sort of binary thinking you're referring to. I feel like I get into so many conversations on here where I'm trying to point out gray areas and nuance and I'm met with "it's either this or that, only these two extremes". I understand the initial comfort of wanting to view life in terms of that kind of simplicity. But the more someone does it the more damaging I think things end up being. Binary thinking and comparisons end up causing a lot of dist…	/r/PurplePillDebate	29/05/25 09:26 PM
2	If you don’t see the point in having female friends, you’d absolutely despise dating them I still think you're boxing in femininity (and probably masculinity) pretty rigidly. The way I show empathy and interact with my male friends in this "masculine context" isn't much different than I do with my female friends...and I don't interact with all of my male friends in the same way as each other, and I don't interact with my female friends in the same way as each other. Cooking is not a masculine or feminine trait. If a man is a very good cook I don't view him as any more feminine than i…	/r/PurplePillDebate	29/05/25 07:38 PM
4	If you don’t see the point in having female friends, you’d absolutely despise dating them The response I got to my post was pretty illuminating. When someone believes in pretty rigid gender roles and traits and thinks they're fixed, it makes them view men and women as very different and focuses less on finding common humanity.	/r/PurplePillDebate	29/05/25 05:12 PM
2	If you don’t see the point in having female friends, you’d absolutely despise dating them So I agree with you in some ways and disagree in others. Whether certain traits are masculine or feminine is all culture based, but for the sake of simplicity I'll assume your definitions of what's masculine and what's feminine. I do view myself who has a strong blend of masculine and feminine traits. It also may be possible that the "average" man may not have as many of these "feminine" traits. However, that does not mean these are innate traits that can't or shouldn't be developed and learned.…	/r/PurplePillDebate	29/05/25 05:08 PM
2	If you don’t see the point in having female friends, you’d absolutely despise dating them Or maybe they just don't know how to find and form healthy friendships with women. I have six women friends in my life (and have had others in the past) who do none of the things you're talking about. They are healthy balanced friendships where we hang out and do things for each other...just like my friendships with men. I have male friends who do the same as I do. It's not all women.	/r/PurplePillDebate	29/05/25 03:16 PM
3	If you don’t see the point in having female friends, you’d absolutely despise dating them What traits would a man look for in a friendship with a woman that crosses over into the same one that he values in a relationship? I have plenty of women friends who give me overall the same things I get out of my friendships with men, and it never crosses into the relationship territory. I agree that there might be things you can do for a friend that could be perceived as wanting more, but if the friends have clear communication then this isn't an issue. To me this just sounds like someone who…	/r/PurplePillDebate	29/05/25 02:51 PM
–	Telling people who have failed at, or had trauma due to dating, to just act “normal” like they haven’t had trauma or experienced failure, is NOT going to help You are 100% correct. That is where it all starts. Establishing self worth, and not letting other people dictate it, is very very important.	/r/PurplePillDebate	27/05/25 06:28 PM
–	The biggest issue in gender is simply that men die faster single. I think people use that as an excuse. There are still places men can go that they can spend time with other men. Hiking, golf, board games, video games, bars, even things like barber shops....I have been to plenty of places where men can hang out with groups of other men. It doesn't have to be "male only" to get together a group of men. There are still ways to spend time doing things that are "masculine".	/r/PurplePillDebate	27/05/25 05:01 PM
1	Most women are not that smart and men are not intimidated by them "But don't you know that EQ is just a made up concept that women created to make themselves feel better?!" You're right. It's pretty astounding.	/r/PurplePillDebate	27/05/25 03:33 PM
6	It’s not worth it for men to have female friends, too many downsides, not enough benefit. There are all kinds of men who don't find what you find interesting, and do find what women find interesting. I can't imagine being with a partner who I don't find interesting. No wonder those relationships are so difficult. I can't imagine going through life only being able to enjoy my time around people who are just like me. What makes life interesting to me is seeing where I connect with people but also where we differ. To only be able to enjoy time with someone if they cater to your own whim…	/r/PurplePillDebate	27/05/25 03:07 PM
20	It’s not worth it for men to have female friends, too many downsides, not enough benefit. I think you're actually right about this. Normally it's when someone deep down has such a negative view of themselves, and don't know how to deal with it or solve it, it spills out to how they view the world.	/r/PurplePillDebate	26/05/25 11:37 PM
24	It’s not worth it for men to have female friends, too many downsides, not enough benefit. I do not have a single friend, male or female, who ruins my day by telling me how depressed they are. Someone in that state needs much more help than a friend can give. If all someone is is an energy drain, they are not in a state to be a friend. If it's a friend who is going through a tough time and is actively working through it, and needs more support than usual, that's fine. But these times can't last forever. If they do, it's no longer a friendship.	/r/PurplePillDebate	26/05/25 11:34 PM
40	It’s not worth it for men to have female friends, too many downsides, not enough benefit. The saddest part to me is that they can't see women as human. They see them as objects or some kind of foreign being. It's mind blowing to me. How they can't see women as co workers, friends, family members, acquaintances that you can just connect with as HUMANS. We all have so many things in common as human beings, and yet they refuse to see that. And like you said, my guess is that's how they end up only being around the types of women who have pretty substantial difficulties and flaws...becau…	/r/PurplePillDebate	26/05/25 11:18 PM
1	Q4W: Do You Feel Like You Get Vilified Too Much On This Sub? I can't help you find your hope in life. I wish I could but I don't have that power. That's something that will be all based on your own actions and mentalities. Oftentimes these things are way deeper than anything someone on the internet can you tell. It often takes things much more individualized. But what I can tell you for sure is that if your mind is convinced there's no point in anything, that what you want is impossible to achieve...it all becomes a self fulfilling prophecy that will MAKE…	/r/PurplePillDebate	26/05/25 11:12 PM
1	Women and girls need to be taught to be nice to their male partners, just like men and boys are taught to be with their female ones. The failure to do this is really tearing the social fabric and killing romance. There is no clear data on women being happier in marriage in the past. Using that as an argument to try to shoehorn or force people into relationships will never work.	/r/PurplePillDebate	26/05/25 12:04 PM
1	Women and girls need to be taught to be nice to their male partners, just like men and boys are taught to be with their female ones. The failure to do this is really tearing the social fabric and killing romance. I’m not sure if we’ve over corrected when it comes to dating and marriage because a lot of those relationships were bad ones. If someone is happier single than when in a relationship, then they should be single. I agree with you when it comes to friendships and family member relationships and even community relationships. In that regard I do believe that people have become more anti social and it’s lead people to being unhappy. however, romantic relationships take a much higher level of work, co…	/r/PurplePillDebate	26/05/25 10:53 AM
1	Red pillers: What would make you change your mind? That's still a pretty low bar for men, considering women do all of those exact same things and it's expected just as a given (other than the height one, but men often have their own standards for physical attractiveness). It basically means they're just doing the things that women are already doing. It takes more than those things to be a good partner. The men I know in healthy marriages do all of those things and don't expect to be congratulated for them, they view them as a default for both pa…	/r/PurplePillDebate	23/05/25 06:17 PM
35	CMV: Western men have been too empathetic towards women and female issues and we are seeing a course correction "Oh, but there's no point in talking to women, because they always lie about what they really want, or maybe they're too stupid to even know what they want...and I have data to back it up! But women can't understand data. That's why they need men to tell them." Pretty convenient argument that gives them an excuse to never listen to women or value anything they say.	/r/PurplePillDebate	23/05/25 06:04 PM
1	The ugly good guy vs the abusive Chad trope is overblown in this sub So the thing is that I agree with everything you're saying, but to me it's a result of the problem with online dating. It keeps people from interacting in the way that they always naturally have. In interactions, things like facial expressions, how people respond, body language and tone all contribute to how someone's perceived. With an online profile, you can't really get across your good traits...they don't feel real. Someone can be faking all of it. The apps, like most things online, are desi…	/r/PurplePillDebate	23/05/25 12:56 PM
3	Be a "right flag" for the types of men/women you'd rather not be with I think this is the key thing that so many guys miss. There are all kinds of things about themselves they can maximize instead of focusing on this one standard set of universal traits of attractiveness and get hung up on that. It's like charisma and confidence, both of which are attractive. You can have charisma in your own way which is authentic rather than trying to fake charisma by being what you're not. It's not to say you dump out every single personal detail of your life, and it's not to s…	/r/PurplePillDebate	22/05/25 07:29 PM
2	The largest cohort preventing boys from excelling are precisely the people who say they need to lift themselves from their bootstraps This is such a murky topic that there's no clear way to parse it out, since biology and socialization mix together in ways that we still don't understand. While I don't disagree with you about the physiological characteristics you're pointing out, and while I'm open to the idea of there being some kind of link between physical resilience and mental resilience.....I don't know if it's quite as clear cut as you seem to be implying. Mental and emotional resilience are skills that can be taught and …	/r/PurplePillDebate	22/05/25 06:02 PM
6	Telling people who have failed at, or had trauma due to dating, to just act “normal” like they haven’t had trauma or experienced failure, is NOT going to help I think your statement about not being desperate and just wanting a generic woman that will put up with someone is really important. It seems to me that some guys don't realize that this part of who they are is hurting their cause and they don't realize it, and then instead choose some trait that they think they can't change and blame it on that.	/r/PurplePillDebate	22/05/25 03:29 PM
2	Telling people who have failed at, or had trauma due to dating, to just act “normal” like they haven’t had trauma or experienced failure, is NOT going to help It depends on what kind of information they're looking for. My therapy provided tons of information that was very helpful for me. My therapy was a mix of therapy and coaching, however, so part of it is finding the right therapist who can understand you and help see where your problem areas are and help you improve them. The thing is any kind of general advice online HAS to be vague by definition, because everyone's situation is individual and different. That's why you have to have someone who ca…	/r/PurplePillDebate	22/05/25 03:27 PM
2	Telling people who have failed at, or had trauma due to dating, to just act “normal” like they haven’t had trauma or experienced failure, is NOT going to help the negativity always comes from within, and it may be part of the reason why the poor outcomes happen. Viewing things in terms of generalities, not understanding your own behaviors and getting an outside perspective, viewing things through binaries, focusing on external rather than internal locus of control, and comparing yourself to others are all thought patterns therapy can help change. But there are plenty of others based on individual needs.	/r/PurplePillDebate	22/05/25 03:20 PM
4	Telling people who have failed at, or had trauma due to dating, to just act “normal” like they haven’t had trauma or experienced failure, is NOT going to help Fixing or changing the mentality of viewing attractiveness as a single, set in stone set of unattainable traits that is universally the same for everyone is something they can help with, though. As well as changing the mentality of basing your entire sense of self worth on it. But I do agree with the OP that if someone has personal trauma this deep, general online advice from regular people not trained in it will most likely not be enough. That trauma has to be worked through and healed first, a…	/r/PurplePillDebate	22/05/25 03:16 PM
2	Q4W: Do You Feel Like You Get Vilified Too Much On This Sub? I don't know what evidence you have for this. These "dire consequences" certainly aren't making men stop doing it any more than women are. The growth of red pill mentalities is evidence enough of that.	/r/PurplePillDebate	22/05/25 03:07 PM
2	Q4W: Do You Feel Like You Get Vilified Too Much On This Sub? But that’s only if he learns and improves himself and stops doing the things that make him a bad partner. if thr ONLY reason why women like him is his loos, all of his relationships are going to empty and shallow, because he’ll never be forced to improve himself. It does affect his personal score, and he’s going keep failing and failing again. He will have a bad game again and again if he doesn’t chnsge. Having everything handed to you doesn’t ever fix your problem. concerning women, you’re havi…	/r/PurplePillDebate	22/05/25 10:36 AM
2	Women and girls need to be taught to be nice to their male partners, just like men and boys are taught to be with their female ones. The failure to do this is really tearing the social fabric and killing romance. Sure, there's no way of knowing for sure what someone thinks in their mind. But if it doesn't have any effect on how they're interacting with you, what differences does it make? You could say that with anybody's thoughts on anything. But again, if that were the case, I don't see why women like that would even bother interacting with men if they think they're useless. And likewise, why are these men wasting their time talking with women like that IRL? Why bother spending any time with someone who…	/r/PurplePillDebate	21/05/25 07:15 PM
2	People don’t “outgrow” or “change” away from their partner, they just don’t know who they are and so are at fault That makes sense. I was interpreting bait and switch to be much more extreme. I can agree with that. I do think it's a problem for a person to marry someone expecting to change them. It does seem that women sometimes have this mentality, and I would strongly tell them that is a horrible mentality to have...and sometimes it permeates throughout our culture. I do think it's healthy for relationships to grow and to have to adapt as circumstances in life change, and people should talk about that bef…	/r/PurplePillDebate	21/05/25 03:35 PM
1	Women don't like emotionally available men. Even if they like, that doesn't mean they think so. If you have friends who are incredibly offended if you set up reasonable boundaries or ask that they give you the same emotional support you give them, then they're either not good friends (because they're taking advantage of you) or they don't clearly understand your boundaries. I have many women (and men) friends and none of them do this. I wouldn't be a friend with someone who didn't respect my boundaries.	/r/PurplePillDebate	21/05/25 03:22 PM
1	Women don't like emotionally available men. Even if they like, that doesn't mean they think so. People over simplify what it means to open up emotionally. The problem is many men get so used to not having anyone to talk to about their emotions, so they bottle things up and let them build. Then, they finally get a woman as a partner, and feel like they've finally found someone "safe" and let ALL (or even most) of that emotion out, including some things that are better talked to a therapist about. This is especially bad if they don't return the same emotional support to the woman. So then me…	/r/PurplePillDebate	21/05/25 03:19 PM
2	People don’t “outgrow” or “change” away from their partner, they just don’t know who they are and so are at fault This is assuming that someone wasn't in shape before getting married and stayed out of shape. It's very possible that someone got in shape to try to win someone over, and then once settled in, got complacent and felt like they no longer had to try any more, saying "you should love me as I am". It's easy to say you should know someone completely in and out before getting married, but in that case a lot fewer people would get married. It's not like there's some scientific formula you can use to de…	/r/PurplePillDebate	21/05/25 03:08 PM
2	The biggest issue in gender is simply that men die faster single. I don't really agree with your last line, though it may get us very off topic. I don't think saying men need to break masculine norms is reinforcing a masculine norm, because women breaking feminine norms isn't reinforcing a feminine norm. And that's what women had to do over history to finally break through a lot of the problems they faced. Did they need men's help to do it? Sure. But if women hadn't been the driving force, it almost definitely would not have happened. Do I think women can help…	/r/PurplePillDebate	20/05/25 09:32 PM
3	The biggest issue in gender is simply that men die faster single. Why do you think this plays out differently with men than it is with women? IMO, when this comes up, my first thought is always "what can men learn from women in this regard?" (unless the argument is that women are just as unhappy as men are, but that doesn't match up with these mortality numbers). My thought is women finding this kind of purpose in their lives, as well as building friendships, better than men do. So I always think that men need to work to find those things instead of living by …	/r/PurplePillDebate	20/05/25 07:49 PM
4	Women and girls need to be taught to be nice to their male partners, just like men and boys are taught to be with their female ones. The failure to do this is really tearing the social fabric and killing romance. I honestly don't understand who on earth all of these guys are talking to. I have spent my whole life and never interacted with a woman IN REAL LIFE who thinks that men are absolutely useless and have no point in being alive or anything like that. I have had many women coworkers, I have many women friends and family members, and I've been in relationships with women, and I have never heard anything close to the idea of men being useless in society. There are some of those voices online, but they…	/r/PurplePillDebate	20/05/25 07:19 PM
8	Q4W: Do You Feel Like You Get Vilified Too Much On This Sub? I have never seen a school or workplace encourage women to say "men ain't shit" or "fuck all men". This behavior isn't validated or praised. It's mixed with valid criticisms that are based on women's experiences, and people mix things together to lump it all in to act like they're the same.	/r/PurplePillDebate	20/05/25 05:55 PM
6	Q4W: Do You Feel Like You Get Vilified Too Much On This Sub? I think part of the problem is viewing it all as a binary...like there are only two categories. "good guys" who don't get women, "bad guys" who do, and that women always choose the bad guys. A lot of things can be true at once, and there can be all kinds of situations. You may not see any men who are the "good guys" who women do end up with happily if you don't know any of those types of guys. And your friend? I think it might SEEM like he has "no issues with relationships", but the kind of guy …	/r/PurplePillDebate	20/05/25 05:53 PM
7	Women and girls need to be taught to be nice to their male partners, just like men and boys are taught to be with their female ones. The failure to do this is really tearing the social fabric and killing romance. So I think there's some nuance to the statement of "do we need men?" that sometimes is misconstrued. If a woman thinks that men aren't or can't be valued in society or are "useless", then her opinions don't mean much to me, and I see on reason to interact or converse with her in any way. If she would automatically view me as having no worth as a human simply because I'm a man, then there's no point in even giving her any thought. However, when women say things like "Women don't need men" that's …	/r/PurplePillDebate	20/05/25 05:03 PM
1	Women and girls need to be taught to be nice to their male partners, just like men and boys are taught to be with their female ones. The failure to do this is really tearing the social fabric and killing romance. I honestly think that's the big issue. People get sucked into the most extreme things online because they get the most attention, which is why the algorithms are designed to promote them so much. And then they think it's the norm, and then they start looking for it in real life while blocking out all of the cases that go against it. Just another example of how social media distorts people's minds.	/r/PurplePillDebate	20/05/25 04:09 PM
3	Women and girls need to be taught to be nice to their male partners, just like men and boys are taught to be with their female ones. The failure to do this is really tearing the social fabric and killing romance. I feel like I try to say what you just said to some guys, and they say "No, most women are like this, you're the one in the minority and you just can't see the way the world truly is." And then of course they'll say "and women do the same when they complain about having a hard time finding men, but THEY can get away with it!" I really don't see any argument to convince someone to get out of a self-fulfilling prophecy like that. And then they think they're being logical, instead of using the obje…	/r/PurplePillDebate	20/05/25 04:07 PM
15	Women and girls need to be taught to be nice to their male partners, just like men and boys are taught to be with their female ones. The failure to do this is really tearing the social fabric and killing romance. I think where part of this is connected that also has to be removed of is the idea that femininity is associated with weakness or inferiority. And I think that's part of what gets missed in this that also needs to be removed. It's not just "don't cry because it's weak". It's "boys don't cry, girls can. If you cry, you're being weak like a girl." So I think we have to remove the idea that women are one way and men are another. It's not an even plane, because our society still generally thinks tha…	/r/PurplePillDebate	20/05/25 03:59 PM
6	What makes a woman a bad woman? How many women in your life have you asked and had her tell you that no one in her life has ever told her what she's supposed to be? I think you're going by some kind of generic online idea that people throw out but isn't how it works in practice. I have never had a woman tell me that people treat her like she's free of criticism or that she's not pressured to fit roles or traits that aren't her.	/r/PurplePillDebate	18/05/25 07:26 PM
2	Men don't take enough responsibility for male loneliness I'm not sure what you're seeking to gain out of sympathy. I also get the impression that you think people similar to you are more deserving of sympathy than other people who can feel a different but just as hurtful kind of pain for a variety of reasons (whether they be women, or men who feel pain for a different reason than you), and who also choose not to engage in violence. Those people are offering the same thing you're offering in return for that sympathy (non violence and more than the bare…	/r/PurplePillDebate	17/05/25 10:57 PM
2	People seriously underestimate the value of “settling down” — sometimes it's actually a smart move. To me, it all boils down to having a firm grasp on what realistic expectations are and the probability of them, as well as how long it can potentially take to find them. If the expectation truly is unrealistic like what you're saying, then you're 100% right. But sometimes the expectation may be possible to find just more difficult, taking more work, time, energy and failed attempts. But if it's out there, for some people it's more worth it to take the risk to find that person who's the better fi…	/r/PurplePillDebate	17/05/25 09:34 PM
2	Men don't take enough responsibility for male loneliness Things do suck and they are hard. Any kind of negative emotions that someone feels in that situation is understandable and valid. anyone would feel pain in a situation like that. It's understandable when you're hurt to feel angry and want to lash back out. Continuing to get only sympathy and validation from it will never be enough to remove that pain. And someone offering sympathy just to stop someone from being violent isn't real sympathy. that's the same thing as someone being nice to someone …	/r/PurplePillDebate	17/05/25 09:23 PM
2	Men don't take enough responsibility for male loneliness Unfortunately that is not enough to keep any kind of relationship from being one sided, because the other person is also giving those same two things and is also giving more. Those are good starting points, but not enough in themselves. I think one way to look at it is to think about a friendship, and to imagine all of the good things someone does for you (or you'd like for them to do for you) and how they make you feel. Then, to figure out what kinds of things you can do for someone else that m…	/r/PurplePillDebate	17/05/25 03:51 PM
1	Men don't take enough responsibility for male loneliness What exactly are you looking for in a discussion if you see no solution? Having sympathy for someone's pain is a starting point, and to be fair it is one that is often overlooked. However, no matter how deserved sympathy may or may not be, it will never be a final ending point. It is unreasonable to expect someone to continue pouring sympathy into another person when nothing changes (especially if they're told there's no solution). That is not something that works in any kind of relationship. In…	/r/PurplePillDebate	17/05/25 03:29 PM
3	Men don't take enough responsibility for male loneliness that may be helpful big picture (assuming this collapse happens and that society doesn’t simply find a way to adapt). but in the mean time, maybe it would be helpful for them to learn to focus on those other pursuits now.	/r/PurplePillDebate	17/05/25 11:51 AM
5	Men don't take enough responsibility for male loneliness I’m fine having a discussion if I can hear realistic ideas for solutions. I understand Men are in need of sympathy. However, sympathy in itself will not leave you off any better than where you started. Endless waves of sympathy form people will temporarily make you feel better but leave you in the same place. ultimately it’s going to have to come down to your own decisions whatever they are.	/r/PurplePillDebate	17/05/25 11:48 AM
11	I dont understand why people get upset about other people's unrealistic standards If talking on here is what’s helping you, then by all means keep doing it. but saying that everything is hopeless and you’re doomed to be unhappy is going in a circle. if you can’t afford individualized help, you may want to consider looking into free genral help online. Some of the main things I learned in therapy are also repeated by therapists online who deal with similar issues. Healthygamergg has been one that has mentioned some helpful things.	/r/PurplePillDebate	17/05/25 11:34 AM
15	I dont understand why people get upset about other people's unrealistic standards In a similar way, no amount of yelling into the void about standards beyond your control is going to magically fix all of your problems either. Ultimately your life is going to come down to what’s in your control, and finding ways to avoid social media, taking breaks from it could be a starting point.	/r/PurplePillDebate	17/05/25 11:29 AM
5	I dont understand why people get upset about other people's unrealistic standards I honestly think that if you’re this unhappy in life and you can’t figure it out on your own, personalized professional /therapy/counseling/coaching might be the next step, it helped me out tremendously with my own self esteem issues. generalized advice on the internet will never be suited to individual needs, and going in circles forever being frustrated with the state of the world will never make you feel better. It always takes some kind of change to get us out of these loops, and it can be h…	/r/PurplePillDebate	17/05/25 11:21 AM
2	Sexual thoughts about strangers aren't inherently creepy Here’s my take on this. in the exact same isolated incident you’re talking about, there’s nothing wrong with those thoughts popping up in your head. all of us all of the time have thoughts and emotions that we naturally feel About anything. there’s nothing wrong with many of these thoughts or emotions that pops up in our heads. you can let it come out, let yourself feel it, and then let it pass. I think the issue is that there is danger in continuing to dwell on these thoughts, because it can le…	/r/PurplePillDebate	17/05/25 08:42 AM
1	Unwanted men are criticized whenever they try to passively drop out of the dating market I think there are a few things going on with this, and there can be a mix and match with different aspects of them that may intersect or may not. The first is I think in general sometimes people feel better about themselves if they can look at someone else and think "At least I'm not THAT person." It makes them feel better to find someone they're superior to. You see it all of the time in youtube comments or things that used to go viral on twitter of someone doing something weird but harmless an…	/r/PurplePillDebate	16/05/25 10:57 PM
1	Unwanted men are criticized whenever they try to passively drop out of the dating market I think there are a few things going on with this, and there can be a mix and match with different aspects of them that may intersect or may not. The first is I think in general sometimes people feel better about themselves if they can look at someone else and think "At least I'm not THAT person." It makes them feel better to find someone they're superior to. You see it all of the time in youtube comments or things that used to go viral on twitter of someone doing something weird but harmless an…	/r/PurplePillDebate	16/05/25 10:36 PM
2	Men don't take enough responsibility for male loneliness It feels like so much of all of this completely depends on the actual specifics of what we're talking about. I don't know any women who are anti-man in my life. They may have a problem with certain behaviors that commonly pop up in men (and I don't exhibit those behaviors), but usually it's when those behaviors negatively affect them. So they're giving the same kinds of critiques that you're talking about here. There's also a difference in terms of critiquing men in general, as opposed to outlin…	/r/PurplePillDebate	16/05/25 10:24 PM
2	"Everything is misogyny" is confirmation bias, not reality. I don't understand why you keep on thinking in terms of binaries with this. I said at the end there is a mix of cultural and biological factors. That is not a blank slate. Those cultures, all of the ones we have written records of, can still have certain gender role aspects in common, where men play particular roles and women play other roles. Unless you have a culture where both the men and women are exactly the same, the culture can keep on continuing using those same patterns and it can be le…	/r/PurplePillDebate	16/05/25 04:11 PM
2	"Everything is misogyny" is confirmation bias, not reality. I think you're vastly underestimating the influence every little detail that goes into child's development from a very young age. All kinds of implicit biases that play into treating a baby as their gender, and how it's built into culture. Unless all males and all females the child is ever exposed to are exactly the same gender wise, and unless they all had no idea what the child's gender was and treated them exactly the same...and I mean exactly the same....then none of these patterns in childr…	/r/PurplePillDebate	16/05/25 03:44 PM
3	Masculinity is just an outright lie. I think you're projecting things on them some. They could have the same motivations a man does to do those things, and a man can also feel the same motivation of doing things he doesn't want to do just for money and to get promoted. And if either a man or a woman has that attitude, I don't think they're ultimately going to be satisfied. People sometimes chase the things that don't always make them happy, money, power and status included. And in your second line, you're assuming this is some atti…	/r/PurplePillDebate	16/05/25 02:03 PM
2	"Everything is misogyny" is confirmation bias, not reality. There is no country who has done what I'm saying because it can't be done without completely flipping society on it's head and raising every child in a lab with completely no biases whatsoever. There are so many things imprinted on children from extremely early ages that just generally trying to push them in a more equal direction isn't enough to have a demonstrable effect. You could even argue if those things are ingrained early and then later pushed in the opposite direction people would have …	/r/PurplePillDebate	16/05/25 01:00 PM
13	Masculinity is just an outright lie. I think you're assuming that women can do what men can do but that men can't do what women can do. You're assuming that women automatically have better social skills than men as if that's immutable. Living five years longer can be attributed that actions men take, not just biology. And fashion and looking better? That's all entirely social. I think the problem is that feminine things are viewed in our society as inferior for a man to do, making him "less than a man" (you're being a girl, you're …	/r/PurplePillDebate	16/05/25 12:36 PM
2	"Everything is misogyny" is confirmation bias, not reality. So here’s my issue with that. I don’t know if you can truly have completely pre soizlied infants. I’ve also seen studies that even from birth,culture, parents and other adults don’t treat baby boys and baby girls the same. Some of it can even be pretty unconscious. Then there’s the modeling aspect…seeing how mothers or other women might interact with them differently than how men do. there are SO many details in environment that there’s no ethical way to remove them all and make the environment …	/r/PurplePillDebate	16/05/25 10:42 AM
1	Men: accept what you cannot control, and focus on what you can. IMO it's because ultimately a person has got to be the one to help themselves, and instead people probably come to this sub to either get validation or try to convince others they're right. Any kind of advice is never going to sit well since it's general and not individualized (not to say it can't still be helpful to some). Most people struggling probably need something like therapy/counseling/coaching to focus on their individual needs in a more personalized way.	/r/PurplePillDebate	15/05/25 10:43 PM
0	Men: accept what you cannot control, and focus on what you can. This is one of the best OPs I've seen on this sub recently. I have said pretty much this same thing to a number of people in comments on this sub. It's not always well received, but I've found it to be completely true. 100% agree with everything in the OP.	/r/PurplePillDebate	15/05/25 10:35 PM
6	Motherhood is disrespected from both the left and the right — no wonder women are having fewer kids I def agree with the OP. I think part of it is just our selfish individualistic society that technology has created for us. Instead of big communities where we all feel compelled to help each other out and form bonds, and to help raise kids, there's very much of a feeling of everyone being on their own and saying things are your own problem. We just all get so used to getting what we want all of the time due to the internet, cell phones and technology. We don't connect how we used to. We're more…	/r/PurplePillDebate	15/05/25 10:25 PM
2	A good number of women aren't hypergamous and most dating advice for men online suck. I'm really happy to hear your story! It's always tough when you're different and it can be tough to find people that align with how you are when you're in the minority, especially when you have a combination of being autistic and a furry (I'm autistic as well and I've met some people online who are furries). It makes it hard to find people, but it's awesome that you found your true self and found out that there are people out there that you can connect with have relationships with. I also think …	/r/PurplePillDebate	15/05/25 09:29 PM
7	A good number of women aren't hypergamous and most dating advice for men online suck. I agree with you for the most part. But I don't think it's impossible, especially as people get older. I definitely have friends who ended up in successful relationships with women, even though they had interests that are very different, thinking there was no way a woman without those interests would ever accept them. But they did. When you find someone who clicks and connects with you on things that are more important, weird sides interests don't HAVE to be a deal breaker. (though it's probably…	/r/PurplePillDebate	15/05/25 07:56 PM
5	"Everything is misogyny" is confirmation bias, not reality. I don't know how much hard data there is on these things being completely biological. It's fair to say there's a mix, but for it to be hardwired with no social effect at all is a jump. Especially considering that more and more women are adapting these traits. It's not like their biology makes them incapable of doing so, just like it's not biologically impossible for men to foster relationships instead of sacrificing them, to focus more on cooperation rather than competition, to make calculated r…	/r/PurplePillDebate	15/05/25 04:02 PM
1	Women are turned off by any proactive behaviour by a man two impress or date a woman. They only respond well to naturals. Apologies for the weird text blocks, multiple comments and lack of quotes. Reddit was messing up for me right now and I didn't have time to figure it out.	/r/PurplePillDebate	15/05/25 02:09 PM
1	Women are turned off by any proactive behaviour by a man two impress or date a woman. They only respond well to naturals. The idea of locus of control is very important. For all of us, there are always going to be things beyond our control that happen to us. Some people will have better luck than others. But that doesn't mean that we can't maximize what is in our control and give ourselves the best shot possible. Our actions can and do make a difference, and we never know exactly how things will turn out. This doesn't mean it isn't possible. It's obviously up to you to decide how important it is to put in your time…	/r/PurplePillDebate	15/05/25 02:08 PM
1	Women are turned off by any proactive behaviour by a man two impress or date a woman. They only respond well to naturals. For everything else I'm saying, keep in mind that a random person on the internet like me will not be able to offer surefire solutions, because they are not individualized to you. That's the way it is for any kind of general advice, and even the most personalized ones are never 100%. That being said, you're looking at things in terms of a binary. Like the only choice is that you're in 0% of control of your life or 100%. The truth is much messier and much more complicated. You are correct that in…	/r/PurplePillDebate	15/05/25 02:07 PM
1	Women are turned off by any proactive behaviour by a man two impress or date a woman. They only respond well to naturals. Ok, there's a lot of nuance here. You, and those women, are 100% correct that no one is entitled to a relationship. This is referring to the idea that if someone does absolutely nothing for someone or themselves, that they think they automatically should have someone put in time and energy into loving them as well as giving them sex, like it's a one sided relationship that's all take and no give. And yes, it is correct to say that no matter what someone does, they are not guaranteed to be in a g…	/r/PurplePillDebate	15/05/25 02:05 PM
–	Women only care about men's issues when the ramifications of it starts affecting them directly. Men at the same time are expected to acknowledge female struggles and if men show an indifference towards plights of women, they ae shamed and guilted into conforming The internet and day to day life are very different. Particularly considering how many types of people on this sub that I have no interaction with whatsoever IRL. Which may be why I so easily get sucked into some of these conversations on here that probably are nothing but a time and energy drain. I should probably be more disciplined and not engage.	/r/PurplePillDebate	15/05/25 01:24 PM
–	Women only care about men's issues when the ramifications of it starts affecting them directly. Men at the same time are expected to acknowledge female struggles and if men show an indifference towards plights of women, they ae shamed and guilted into conforming I'm not saying it's 100%. But based on everything I've seen in my life, and how men disregard women's boundaries in many areas (things like catcalling, harassing women, doing things out in broad daylight in front of other people, and thinking there's nothing wrong with it), and sometimes blatantly disregarding women's own beliefs about their own lives and thinking they know women better than they know themselves...I'm more inclined to believe women and give them the benefit of the doubt. In gene…	/r/PurplePillDebate	15/05/25 12:52 PM
–	Women only care about men's issues when the ramifications of it starts affecting them directly. Men at the same time are expected to acknowledge female struggles and if men show an indifference towards plights of women, they ae shamed and guilted into conforming For your first study they made an update on it: A. While the percentage of female rape victims and the percentage of male being-made-to-penetrate victims were inferred from the past 12-month estimates by combining two forms of violence, the percentage of perpetrator by sex was taken from reported estimates for males for lifetime (a misuse of the percentage of male victims who reported only female perpetrators in their lifetime being made to penetrate victimization). This mismatch of timeframes i…	/r/PurplePillDebate	15/05/25 12:45 PM
0	Women are turned off by any proactive behaviour by a man two impress or date a woman. They only respond well to naturals. You’re misunderstanding confidence. Confidence is not about being confident in some niche category. It’s about being confident in who you are, and being confident that you deserve to have a partner. If you believe that you’re never going to get someone to go out with you because of your looks, you don’t have confidence, and it becomes a self fulfilling prophecy. Your claim about literally no woman is not true, because out of billions of women who are in thr world, some are married to men who are…	/r/PurplePillDebate	15/05/25 10:24 AM
2	Women only care about men's issues when the ramifications of it starts affecting them directly. Men at the same time are expected to acknowledge female struggles and if men show an indifference towards plights of women, they ae shamed and guilted into conforming I have no idea where you're getting your stats from. Half of rape victims being men? Half of DA victims being men? More men do commit suicide, but more women attempt suicide. Men happen to choose more violent methods. Do you honestly think women get any more sympathy than men do when it comes to depression and suicide? I'd say women GIVE much more sympathy to both men and women with these conditions than men do. Men are more victims of murder. But guess who's murdering them most of the time? Oth…	/r/PurplePillDebate	15/05/25 02:23 AM
5	Women only care about men's issues when the ramifications of it starts affecting them directly. Men at the same time are expected to acknowledge female struggles and if men show an indifference towards plights of women, they ae shamed and guilted into conforming The problem is that there's a lot of SA that happens that isn't taken seriously or is overlooked. Most SA happens by men that the woman knows, it's not always some evil criminal on the street that most people picture when they hear the word "rapist". Those kind of stereotypical images are villainized. Not the guy who does it in secret that everyone thinks is a good guy. Why else would women be so scared of reporting it? When it does happen, they're afraid no one will believe them. That's why wom…	/r/PurplePillDebate	15/05/25 02:10 AM
16	Women only care about men's issues when the ramifications of it starts affecting them directly. Men at the same time are expected to acknowledge female struggles and if men show an indifference towards plights of women, they ae shamed and guilted into conforming The fact that you think that men are falsely accused of rape or SA nearly as often as women are actually raped, and the fact that you think it's worse, and the fact that you think every man who SAs a woman gets punished for it, and the fact that you think being falsely accused means every person believes the woman and not the man, and that you ignore all of the times a man does it and people believe him (he's such a good guy, he could never do that!) over the woman...tells how biased you are in …	/r/PurplePillDebate	14/05/25 10:21 PM
4	Women only care about men's issues when the ramifications of it starts affecting them directly. Men at the same time are expected to acknowledge female struggles and if men show an indifference towards plights of women, they ae shamed and guilted into conforming Magnitude matters. Let's say I have something bad happen to me that's frustrating but not the end of the world. Like my water heater breaks or something. And I tell a coworker or acquaintance and they blow it off. Then I find out that coworker or acquaintance had something much more serious happen to them...a parent dies, a family member gets cancer, their house burns down, etc. It's very petty of me to not care about their issue at all just because they blew off my minor issue. Yes, they SHOULD…	/r/PurplePillDebate	14/05/25 09:44 PM
2	Women only care about men's issues when the ramifications of it starts affecting them directly. Men at the same time are expected to acknowledge female struggles and if men show an indifference towards plights of women, they ae shamed and guilted into conforming This is a little tricky because I'd have to see the type of woman you're referring to. In general, I don't really see as many women who fall into the category of "femcel". I know at least on this subreddit I've already have multiple conversations with guys who fit the incel description but I have not yet seen a woman do so. If that is true (I'm not saying it definitely is) then the volume might contribute to the attention.	/r/PurplePillDebate	14/05/25 09:33 PM
8	Women only care about men's issues when the ramifications of it starts affecting them directly. Men at the same time are expected to acknowledge female struggles and if men show an indifference towards plights of women, they ae shamed and guilted into conforming Having no sympathy for someone having trouble dating is not equivalent to having no sympathy for people being raped, assaulted, drugged or even killed.	/r/PurplePillDebate	14/05/25 09:17 PM
8	Women only care about men's issues when the ramifications of it starts affecting them directly. Men at the same time are expected to acknowledge female struggles and if men show an indifference towards plights of women, they ae shamed and guilted into conforming I don't think most women have a problem with a guy having trouble dating. I think where they have a problem is them feeling entitled to getting women (especially sex), and then blaming women for not giving it to him. And it's not like there aren't still a ton of derogatory words for women that are used much more prevalently than calling men incels. Especially since they are often used for any woman, not just a woman showing particular characteristics.	/r/PurplePillDebate	14/05/25 09:15 PM
4	People will fight to the death to make sure the social expectation for men to approach to women is still kept as a social standard. Despite the many women complaining about creepy men. This pretty much sums it up perfectly. The situation is what it is, you just have to work within it. It is frustrating and it takes work, but like anything else in life, you can improve at it and try different avenues. I think what's frustrating to a lot of people about it is that it's not as clear as some other things, like getting better at a task or establishing habits...there's not a clear defined set of rules to follow. And a lot of it is being comfortable with rejection.	/r/PurplePillDebate	14/05/25 07:01 PM
1	Both Genders need to realize that Dating is Amoral and Unfair and that no-one is entitled to anything on both sides. I agree with you when it comes to sex and relationships. It seems like more men are unhappy without sex and relationships than women are, however. The issue is that it's very hard to measure or create equality of opportunity. There are many different variables that often people overlook. Oftentimes people say they want equality of opportunity without taking into account as many of those variables as possible.	/r/PurplePillDebate	14/05/25 04:27 PM
2	Women are turned off by any proactive behaviour by a man two impress or date a woman. They only respond well to naturals. The problem is that they don't have anything to be confident about. THAT is what they need to fix. Until they do that, everything else they will be doing is fake because it will be putting on an act. Everyone can be confident about something and about who they are. It's not easy for everyone. It make take therapy/counseling/coaching and a lot of work. But everyone can do it. How they get there may be different. Some people may just need to reframe the way they look at themselves and see the good…	/r/PurplePillDebate	14/05/25 03:30 PM
2	Feminism's claims are inherently unfalsifiable Give me some examples of what you're talking about when you say this. I have no idea what you mean.	/r/PurplePillDebate	14/05/25 02:05 PM
2	Feminism's claims are inherently unfalsifiable Ok, answer those same questions about men in general then. How is feminism destroying male well-being?	/r/PurplePillDebate	14/05/25 01:47 PM
8	Women are turned off by any proactive behaviour by a man two impress or date a woman. They only respond well to naturals. And that's why at some point you just have to let it go.	/r/PurplePillDebate	14/05/25 01:30 PM
2	Women are turned off by any proactive behaviour by a man two impress or date a woman. They only respond well to naturals. I agree with you to some degree. I do think women value authenticity and confidence. And I think they do prefer someone who has reached this point in himself so that he can feel that way naturally without having to put in a lot of effort in the moment and be tense. However, I think as a man, feeling confident in yourself, who you're looking for in a partner, and that you deserve to be with someone you value in a relationship is something you can learn and develop. So I don't think it's as simple…	/r/PurplePillDebate	14/05/25 01:29 PM
1	Has being on this subreddit improved your dating/romance life? I think for some people it takes professional help/counseling/therapy/coaching. There's a lot of information on the internet, but it's never going to be personalized to that person's needs. On a wider scale we could advocate more for it in terms of making it accessible and affordable to people. But also just continuing to work on helping to get rid of the social stigma around it and get people to buy into it as something helpful.	/r/PurplePillDebate	14/05/25 12:57 PM
1	Are there any feminist or blue pill solutions to the male loneliness epidemic? That's fair. As long as you find someone who's compatible and you both care about making each other happy, then it can always work. The key thing is having that emotional awareness and control...if you've got that, then it can always work.	/r/PurplePillDebate	14/05/25 12:53 PM
5	Most Marriages Need Systematic Cultural, Societal and Economic Constraints to Survive That's basically my set of thoughts exactly. I could be wrong, but it'll be interesting to see how it plays out, assuming some other much bigger global or societal issue takes over first.	/r/PurplePillDebate	13/05/25 07:39 PM
3	If you want to avoid the “friend zone” be honest about your intentions early on I can definitely seeing this being true for some, maybe even a lot of men. But if it's most men, then how do so many men end up being in relationships? Is it because the woman is making the actual move? Is it just kind of falling into place by luck or her looking past the awkwardness? The not knowing how to take a no I can see being very prevalent. And I can see how the other things are common, because it is difficult to learn. Learning from other men is the man's perspective on it, learning fro…	/r/PurplePillDebate	13/05/25 07:30 PM
2	Are there any feminist or blue pill solutions to the male loneliness epidemic? The hobbies one can be kind of tricky because even though partners usually share some hobbies, a lot of times the things they're most passionate about isn't something their partner can match enthusiasm on. My friends who are in the happiest marriages often like to engage in their biggest hobbies with me instead of their partners. Some of this is due to the fact that often men and women have different hobbies they're most passionate about. As far as a listening ear, even know I know you said you …	/r/PurplePillDebate	13/05/25 05:41 PM
3	Are there any feminist or blue pill solutions to the male loneliness epidemic? There could be a lot, but in general when you have a problem or are going through something difficult, getting help, support, advice, or just a listening ear. When you have something you enjoy, being able to share it with someone, even if they don't love it as much as you do. If you feel frustration or anger. If you're stressed about something and need to calm down and relax. If you're anxious or scared about something, having someone to help you get through it. If you have doubts about the futu…	/r/PurplePillDebate	13/05/25 04:32 PM
5	Are there any feminist or blue pill solutions to the male loneliness epidemic? The large issue with this is that most people have emotional needs, and most people feel like taking on all of their partner's emotional needs is way too much, even if both people are doing it for each other (which rarely happens, since it's very hard to take on all of someone else's needs). So without friends (or maybe family), therapy or professional outlets like that is the only way to get it out. I'm not saying it's not possible. But both people probably need to do a lot of work on emotional…	/r/PurplePillDebate	13/05/25 04:15 PM
4	If you want to avoid the “friend zone” be honest about your intentions early on Yeah, if that's the case, I 100% agree with you. They need to stop dragging it out and just face the music, no matter the result.	/r/PurplePillDebate	13/05/25 03:49 PM
8	If you want to avoid the “friend zone” be honest about your intentions early on As a whole I agree with the OP. As others have mentioned, the tricky part is that the romantic feelings sometimes can develop over time. However, I would agree that unless those feelings pass fairly quickly, it's best to go ahead and tell the person instead of dragging it out for years and years. However, what makes it so hard is that you don't know for sure if BOTH people will be able to continue the friendship after those feelings have been revealed. For me personally, as much as it hurts, I t…	/r/PurplePillDebate	13/05/25 03:42 PM
3	Nice guys actually do talk to women as people, but women then treat them as "one of the girls" I made a comment going into more detail about this above, but I do think one key thing in man-woman friendships is both people being willing to compromise in a way that two women or two men often don't have to do. But I think that's what's great about man/woman friendships...it helps you expand and grow and do some things you wouldn't normally do. It has to be done in a healthy, balanced, clearly communicated way, though.	/r/PurplePillDebate	13/05/25 01:39 PM
6	Nice guys actually do talk to women as people, but women then treat them as "one of the girls" I think the key thing is that whatever it is in the friendship, it has to be reciprocal. It of course doesn't have to be perfectly 100% even. But generally it can't be one sided. And it doesn't have to be the exact same kinds of things that we do for each other. Different people have different strengths. Now, where you might have a really good point, and an area where men and women may have difficulty being friends, is the kinds of things they expect out of a friendship. In many ways I do think …	/r/PurplePillDebate	13/05/25 01:36 PM
6	Nice guys actually do talk to women as people, but women then treat them as "one of the girls" Maybe the better way of looking at it is that there isn't ONLY sexual interest, or it doesn't have to be the TOP priority. That when you go on a date, you're looking for a lot of things besides just sex. Sure, it's PART of the equation, but it doesn't have to be the driving force. Otherwise, like I said, it could signal you're looking for a one night stand, a fling, or a friends with benefits situation. I'm not sure if there is a gendered component to this or not or if it's just stereotypes. But…	/r/PurplePillDebate	13/05/25 12:25 AM
3	Nice guys actually do talk to women as people, but women then treat them as "one of the girls" But timing of when it happens matters. You can go on five dates with someone, realize you're not a match and never have sex. Some people prefer to get familiar with each other and feel an emotional connection before having sex. Asking someone out on a date just means there's POTENTIAL that it could lead to sex. It can show that you don't want to actually have sex unless you feel like it's someone you have a connection with. A date is a chance to get to know someone, it's not the same as a one ni…	/r/PurplePillDebate	13/05/25 12:11 AM
5	Nice guys actually do talk to women as people, but women then treat them as "one of the girls" See, that's where I think the guy needs to have a boundary and be clear on his intentions. He shouldn't be doing any relationship stuff for a woman until he asks her out. If a woman expects you to keep doing relationship stuff for her as a friendship, she's not worth having as a friend. That's manipulating and using you. If they're going to be friends, he shouldn't do anything more for her than what she's doing for him. But he can't be doing that stuff if he's only friends with her. Then she exp…	/r/PurplePillDebate	12/05/25 07:55 PM
2	Nice guys actually do talk to women as people, but women then treat them as "one of the girls" I'm a "bluepiller" I guess, depending on the definition, and I definitely don't agree with what they're saying. But again, it's two extremes. It's not like your own choices are only caring about sex and never asking anyone out. There doesn't have to be this set of extreme binaries...which I guess is part of the problem with having "Red pill" and "blue pill" in the first place. All of the nuance starts going away.	/r/PurplePillDebate	12/05/25 07:41 PM
2	Nice guys actually do talk to women as people, but women then treat them as "one of the girls" Yeah, I honestly think that's one thing that most guys need to learn...to get comfortable with rejection, accept it gracefully, and move on. The more you get comfortable with it, the more chances you give yourself, and the more confident you become. It's not an easy thing to learn, though.	/r/PurplePillDebate	12/05/25 07:37 PM
14	Nice guys actually do talk to women as people, but women then treat them as "one of the girls" There's a difference between flirting and asking someone out on a date and directly expressing sexual interest in them. I don't think the bluepillers you're talking about think it's a problem to do either of those things in the right context and situation. The same thing is true with friendships potentially leading into romantic relationships. The problem is BECOMING friends ONLY because you want a romantic relationship, like it's your end goal. Instead, you can become friends with different wom…	/r/PurplePillDebate	12/05/25 07:27 PM
1	Nice guys actually do talk to women as people, but women then treat them as "one of the girls" I overall get what the OP is saying but it's oversimplified into a binary. I think it's more about passivity vs. confidence in terms of avoiding falling into that role. When you're the "guy who'd never think he has a chance with us" it means you're passive and don't believe you have a chance because you're not confident in yourself. And that often makes it harder for anyone, but especially women, to find attractive. But when you become confident in who you are and all of your positive traits, an…	/r/PurplePillDebate	12/05/25 07:12 PM
1	Women are basically miny celebrities. Which is why the dating climate is bad That entirely depends on the setting in which the person is being approached. And that's assuming there has to be an approach at all, and that you can't meet people through other people. they may have used the apps, but that doesn't mean they've had success with them.	/r/PurplePillDebate	12/05/25 06:27 PM
2	Women are basically miny celebrities. Which is why the dating climate is bad You're correct, but there are also more resources online now to help overcome these challenges.	/r/PurplePillDebate	12/05/25 03:12 PM
0	Women are basically miny celebrities. Which is why the dating climate is bad That is not true at all. Not only are the kinds of people who apps not the same as those who date in real life, but the ration of men to women on apps is not even, so women are overwhelmed with messages. The apps are also designed to focus on appearance before anything else, including tone and body language. You also can't get conversations to flow naturally. You also don't get a chance to network the way you can with friends, who can give new people something to work with rather than just a pro…	/r/PurplePillDebate	12/05/25 03:11 PM
0	Women are basically miny celebrities. Which is why the dating climate is bad I completely agree with you. However, I think shyness can be overcome. It's not easy, and it may require different things for different guys, and it's harder for some compared to others. But I really think any guy is capable of it. Introversion doesn't have to be a barrier either.	/r/PurplePillDebate	12/05/25 03:07 PM
1	When telling women to "choose better," take into accountability how excellent some men are at leading women on just to get laid. Plus, most people think they're good guys. It's not about any kind of moral or religious reason for needing a long term committed relationship before having sex. It's about people being honest for what they're looking for in the situation and not manipulating someone into thinking you want something different than you do. If two people agree they want a "situationship" or are only looking for casual sex with no emotional attachment, that is completely fine. But both people need to be honest that that's all they're looking for. What the O…	/r/PurplePillDebate	12/05/25 01:33 PM
2	When telling women to "choose better," take into accountability how excellent some men are at leading women on just to get laid. Plus, most people think they're good guys. It's always funny how men who don't date men think they know so much more than women who do date men.	/r/PurplePillDebate	11/05/25 11:12 PM
3	Men live life on easy mode But how much of that is biology beyond their control and decisions that they're making? Deaths from accidents, substance abuse, not making doctor appointments/health decisions, etc.	/r/PurplePillDebate	11/05/25 09:28 PM
2	When telling women to "choose better," take into accountability how excellent some men are at leading women on just to get laid. Plus, most people think they're good guys. Perhaps you missed earlier comments from her when you made yours. The "changes" her husband made were: "I disagree. My ex husband had absolutely no history if violence, DV, fights anything. Only started after the marriage and kids came along. I did check him out. Can you elaborate on what else I should have done when he started pushing me against walls while I'm holding a baby? Or slamming doors right next to me and telling me I'm next? Or holding me by the throat?" And the comment I saw in resp…	/r/PurplePillDebate	11/05/25 08:45 PM
2	When telling women to "choose better," take into accountability how excellent some men are at leading women on just to get laid. Plus, most people think they're good guys. I cannot recall a woman ever thinking a woman physically abusing a man while he's holding a young child because he's not attractive as he used to be is justifiable. Or to consider the idea that a woman choking her husband in front of their child could possibly be better at raising the children then he is. Men abusing women is much more common than women abusing men, and men aren't held to the same standards of looks or hygiene that women are as they get older in relationships. No one is saying w…	/r/PurplePillDebate	11/05/25 08:08 PM
4	When telling women to "choose better," take into accountability how excellent some men are at leading women on just to get laid. Plus, most people think they're good guys. The hoops that someone can jump through to put no accountability on a man and all the blame on a woman is astounding.	/r/PurplePillDebate	11/05/25 01:20 PM
1	When telling women to "choose better," take into accountability how excellent some men are at leading women on just to get laid. Plus, most people think they're good guys. My problem is just accepting that certain behavior from men is ok and can't be changed, but then saying the woman is the only one at fault. Like it's ok for men to try to manipulate women into sleeping with them like it's an immutable characteristic. I agree with you that ultimately the woman has to make the choice of who she sleeps with. But then when more women start doing that, the calls are "women's standards are too high!" It's like women can't win no matter what they do. When they end up w…	/r/PurplePillDebate	11/05/25 12:49 PM
3	When telling women to "choose better," take into accountability how excellent some men are at leading women on just to get laid. Plus, most people think they're good guys. This coming from someone who clearly must have plenty of experience dating men.	/r/PurplePillDebate	11/05/25 10:49 AM
5	When telling women to "choose better," take into accountability how excellent some men are at leading women on just to get laid. Plus, most people think they're good guys. I think the difference is the stakes are much higher for women…they’re risking much more. men are much more likely to become abusive than women are, and they’re much more likely to put children in danger. they’re also much more likely to put on an act purely for sex. I also hear many more people tell women to choose better than telling men to choose better. so I don’t think it’s equivalent to say this happens just as much in the other direction. it might happen some or to smaller degrees, but no…	/r/PurplePillDebate	11/05/25 10:44 AM
2	In an ideal world, everybody would have an ideal life and dating experience. But it's just not possible for everybody. I agree as a whole. Understanding people can be a lot more complicated than understanding things or ideas, since there's no much variation. And then when you involve dating relationships, it deals with trust, connection, commitment, and long term thinking. Good relationships take a lot of work and are difficult for everyone, and not all relationships last, so it goes beyond even just dating.	/r/PurplePillDebate	09/05/25 07:35 PM
6	In an ideal world, everybody would have an ideal life and dating experience. But it's just not possible for everybody. I think the idea of it being a lot more work for certain people is a definitely a key component. It may take more resiliency for one person than another. One person may have to learn how to deal with a lot more rejection than another along the way. That's why my attitude has always been having a mix of empathy for people while stil holding them accountable (though I try to do this with people about everything, not just dating situations). When there's no empathy, it's not as helpful for people w…	/r/PurplePillDebate	09/05/25 07:32 PM
1	If society would become less hierarchical and more connected, that would actually benefit "losers", probably even in dating, and that's not a bad thing. I definitely agree with that. I actually completely avoid people who are violent or narcissistic. In those cases I DO believe they need therapy or other professional help first. Maybe I"m a better judge of character in my relationships than most people? I haven't found myself in bad friendships ever really.	/r/PurplePillDebate	09/05/25 05:59 PM
1	If society would become less hierarchical and more connected, that would actually benefit "losers", probably even in dating, and that's not a bad thing. So you're saying that people shouldn't always trust their friends, but claimed before that you think that friendships generally support each other. THAT was my point. That friendships aren't always what they should be. I do agree that this means someone should find better friends. I think where we disagree on is how easy that is for people. I definitely agree that people should find better friends. I just think it would be easier as a culture if people were more supportive in general and less fo…	/r/PurplePillDebate	09/05/25 05:49 PM
2	If society would become less hierarchical and more connected, that would actually benefit "losers", probably even in dating, and that's not a bad thing. Another extra bit I forgot to mention is sometimes you can spark something in people without "forcing" them. For example, a few years ago I started opening up with my male friends about vulnerable topics. For the longest time I was afraid to do so, not sure of how they would react. But not only did they take it very well and support me a lot, but once I did...automatically THEY started opening up more with me. I didn't ask them to, but they felt like since I trusted them with those areas for me,…	/r/PurplePillDebate	09/05/25 05:14 PM
2	If society would become less hierarchical and more connected, that would actually benefit "losers", probably even in dating, and that's not a bad thing. I don't mean to dismiss the "bad people" topic, it's just that it's a topic that is a big side tangent that I think we'll disagree on quite a bit. I definitely think it's an important topic. We definitely agree that the choice to help people should be authentic and not fake or forced. But I don't think people's mindsets are fixed when it comes to that. I think people can learn that helping others is actually beneficial to them, and that they may have had an initial resistance that if they look d…	/r/PurplePillDebate	09/05/25 04:51 PM
2	If society would become less hierarchical and more connected, that would actually benefit "losers", probably even in dating, and that's not a bad thing. I agree with all of that for the most part. (the bad people one I don't 100% agree with, but that's a side topic). A lot of it comes down to what I often view as niceness vs kindness, which is sometimes passiveness vs. assertiveness vs. aggressiveness. You can stand up for yourself without putting others down. You always have to take care of your own needs first before you can be kind to others. But that doesn't mean always being the one taking with no regards to anyone else. Like so many things…	/r/PurplePillDebate	09/05/25 03:47 PM
2	Why I don’t believe love is ran mostly by luck or destiny. It seems like a lot of people focus on this like it's a binary...luck OR skill. It's a mix of both, and probably a complicated mix of both. Luck is the set of factors beyond your control. Your actions are the ones in your control. accept that there is good luck and bad luck and don't blame yourself for things outside of your control, but spend all of your time and energy on your actions and what is in your control. Simply put: You don't get to choose what cards you're dealt, but you can choose h…	/r/PurplePillDebate	09/05/25 03:25 PM
2	If society would become less hierarchical and more connected, that would actually benefit "losers", probably even in dating, and that's not a bad thing. I agree with you, I think it's just that I"m thinking of very different situations than you are, which is probably why we're focusing on such different things. I'm introverted and don't live in an urban environment, and I avoid situations involving people who tend to get aggressive. I agree with you that it's not showing kindness when you're getting involved in a situation that you can do nothing about, and I agree there should be consequences and accountability for people's actions. My focus is…	/r/PurplePillDebate	09/05/25 03:22 PM
6	Has being on this subreddit improved your dating/romance life? I agree with you but I think naive/gullible is too strong of a word. I actually watched a video a while ago talking about cynicism vs. hope, and even the difference between hope and optimism. Being cynical (which is how I view black pill stuff) lowers your opportunities because you don't take any risk and assume everything is bad. Being optimistic is being gullible or too naive, and assuming that everything will go well. Being hopeful is considering all options, and thinking that things COULD go…	/r/PurplePillDebate	09/05/25 02:34 PM
1	Women and men behave exactly the same in dating, it’s just women get more opportunity to act cold and selfish so it’s thought to be “their nature” I'd say there's a mix of both of what you're saying and what the OP is saying. I do think opportunity can affect people's tendencies. I don't think ALL men treat it the same...there is some difference in how men with more opportunity approach things than men who don't. But this is true with everything in life, not just dating. But at the same time I do agree with your points that there is strong evolutionary and societal set of wiring that does affect how men and women view it differently on the…	/r/PurplePillDebate	09/05/25 02:11 PM
2	"The Red Pill" is just "Men from Mars, Women from Venus" but with shaming tactics and toxicity I also have not done any kind of extensive research on this. But I don't think there's any one moment or trigger or tipping point. Along with you mentioning different types of rapists, I also think there are all kinds of levels of SA that are going on in many men (like not respecting boundaries that you mentioned earlier, or even things like harassing and catcalling), and some similar tendencies in society affect men who do it as those who fall into the category of an official "rapist". But yeah…	/r/PurplePillDebate	09/05/25 02:02 PM
3	"The Red Pill" is just "Men from Mars, Women from Venus" but with shaming tactics and toxicity I agree with you about the actions of men that you're perceiving. However, I think it's much more caused by societal factors than biology. I don't think any man is straight up automatically born to pursue at all cost. To be fair, the subject is so complex that I doubt anyone could figure it out for sure. It's a very detailed web of biological and sociological factors. I do think different people probably have certain innate tendencies. But I don't think it's something that is definitely set at b…	/r/PurplePillDebate	09/05/25 01:36 PM
2	If society would become less hierarchical and more connected, that would actually benefit "losers", probably even in dating, and that's not a bad thing. I agree with everythign you’re saying about relationships being about fit and the competing mentality being dumb. with your last paragraph I do agree about the idea of focusing on your in group and nit relying on society to “fix” things because in our lifetimes it’s asking too much. That’s what I do in my own life. however, i don’t think men are doomed to always be violent with one another by nature or violent towards women by nature. That may be where we’ve been for a very long time, but I don’…	/r/PurplePillDebate	09/05/25 10:46 AM
2	If society would become less hierarchical and more connected, that would actually benefit "losers", probably even in dating, and that's not a bad thing. So I think you’re looking at this form the lens of an actual physical individual setting, and I’m looking at it from a broader mentality. Where I completely agree with you is the idea of two idiots competing with each other at a bar being stupid. Any one perosn isn’t competing with other men, he’s competing with what the woman wants in her relationship. Like you said, there could be 100 guys and none of them are right for her. So the way I look at is that none of them should view it as a competi…	/r/PurplePillDebate	09/05/25 10:32 AM
3	If society would become less hierarchical and more connected, that would actually benefit "losers", probably even in dating, and that's not a bad thing. I honestly think that's part of the issue. We'll start going down rabbit holes here, but part of the problem is (at least in Western society) we've gotten used to so many comforts that are only possible on this scale because other countries and people in them have been taken advantage of. When you think about all of the products we have, none of us would be able to afford any of it if they weren't able to be made in Asian countries where the workers are paid so little they might as well be slave…	/r/PurplePillDebate	08/05/25 11:38 PM
3	If society would become less hierarchical and more connected, that would actually benefit "losers", probably even in dating, and that's not a bad thing. But it's framing it like the "loser" is the inferior one. Why can't it be that the guy who was with her isn't because he's objectively better, but because he was the better fit for her individually? You can even view this with how we compete and "rank" each other when it comes to attractiveness, like that determines someone's value as a person. Like if two attractive people end up together, they're somehow superior than two unattractive people who end up together. Or even the idea that attractiv…	/r/PurplePillDebate	08/05/25 11:26 PM
4	If society would become less hierarchical and more connected, that would actually benefit "losers", probably even in dating, and that's not a bad thing. I think the "no man left behind" aspect there is pretty superficial, though. I don't know if it translates as well to the more important emotional things in mens' lives, which is why many men feel much more comfortable opening up emotionally to women. They don't want to appear weak to the other guys because of that same sort of implicit competition. "I don't want to be the weak one in the group, the one at the bottom of the hierarchy." With dating, why is it even views in terms of winning and lo…	/r/PurplePillDebate	08/05/25 11:13 PM
3	If society would become less hierarchical and more connected, that would actually benefit "losers", probably even in dating, and that's not a bad thing. I think you could argue competition in general. The idea that you need to put someone else down to push yourself up, to give yourself a better chance to move to the top or to win. I always think about stories of men in military settings when their lives are on the line and they have to band together to survive...the old "not leaving any man behind" adage. I've heard in those moments those men feel closer to the other men than any other time. The idea of all coming together to work together, to l…	/r/PurplePillDebate	08/05/25 11:01 PM
2	People will be happier once they remember—correctly—that the internet is full of liars I saw a video talking about how why any kind of advice by definition isn't going to be great because it's generalized and can't be tailored to your own individual life with all of the variations in details and experiences. Some advice works for some people and not for others.	/r/PurplePillDebate	08/05/25 07:40 PM
3	Women: Do you hate/despise unattractive incel losers who whine about women's dating standards more than actual abusers, rapists, and violent murderers of women? If so, why? I think part of the problem is putting women on a pedestal and chasing them too much. If a woman prefers a criminal, that is not someone I would want to be with. I block them out of my mind and say hey, dodged that bullet. I think women go through this too in different ways. They keep running into guys that aren't good for them and get tired of it. So it happens all around.	/r/PurplePillDebate	08/05/25 07:08 PM
3	If you somehow managed to convince women to universally lower their standards you’d just have much more competition and the relationship would be awful I'd be curious what your definition of shallow is and what characteristics would make someone shallow. I think there's some nuance in physical attraction. Is it something that someone can change? (through grooming, clothing, etc)? Is it something their actions change? And maybe more importantly, is it something that goes away with age? IMO, if it's something that someone is going to eventually lose with age, that means the relationship is based on something fragile and it's destined to end. I sa…	/r/PurplePillDebate	08/05/25 03:35 PM
1	Women: Do you hate/despise unattractive incel losers who whine about women's dating standards more than actual abusers, rapists, and violent murderers of women? If so, why? I never said you didn't, and I didn't assume you don't. But you seem to be applying it to women you don't know, instead of viewing them like the women in your life you are friends with and respect. I think asking them their opinions about all of this will probably help you more than thinking about women hating incels or comparing them to women who care about criminals. Why are you even concerned with those women? I don't think they will give you any insights into what you're looking for. You sai…	/r/PurplePillDebate	08/05/25 02:11 PM
1	The fact that some men won’t find a partner is fueling unhealthy coping mechanisms & belief systems I think these are great solutions. One thing I'll say about this kind of thing, which is true for any kind of problem in society, is that it's best when individuals all do this themselves instead of just waiting on someone else to come in and do it. These skills can be learned and researched online. For anyone who thinks this is important, go out and BE the change you want. Learn about these yourselves. Talk to other men in your life about them. Be the one to spark it, even if it's uncomfortable…	/r/PurplePillDebate	08/05/25 03:05 AM
2	Why do you all think men say that women don’t know what they want? So what I take from this is that you're incredibly satisfied with your life. And if you're not, it's because what you want is unattainable. And in that case, there's no way to prove or disprove the idea that if you got it then you wouldn't be satisfied with it. A very quick google search led me to this article. I've heard other researchers mention similar things, especially the idea of hedonic adaptation. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/automatic-you/202207/why-its-so-hard-ever-feel-sati…	/r/PurplePillDebate	07/05/25 10:28 PM
12	Why do you all think men say that women don’t know what they want? This is incredibly true and I've seen it all over this subreddit.	/r/PurplePillDebate	07/05/25 10:20 PM
14	Why do you all think men say that women don’t know what they want? This is such an incredibly good point and why I honestly take every single one of these conversations about men and women with a huge grain of salt and view them all more for fun than anything else. It's impossible to talk about these things without making huge generalizations. It's the problem with the internet and trying to talk about huge swaths of people like any of us know what we're talking about.	/r/PurplePillDebate	07/05/25 10:16 PM
1	Why do you all think men say that women don’t know what they want? The same situation can be framed in multiple ways, and in different situations different approaches are going to be best. One can call it being decisive, but that same decision could be one made out of impatience, laziness, lack of research, impulsiveness, recklessness and instant gratification. Whereas the decision that is "indecisive" could be one that is detail oriented, thorough, well thought out, well, planned, strategic and built for what's best long term. There are some situations where i…	/r/PurplePillDebate	07/05/25 10:14 PM
4	Men need to be aware that they are easily replaceable I agree with this, at least in the right contexts. It depends on what kind of emotions we're talking about. Women are certainly punished more than men are for showing anger. But I agree with you that societal expectations do make men feel like they have to hold back emotions that would make others perceive them as weak. I also agree that as a whole, men's emotional intelligence isn't as strong as women's due to these same societal factors. Not across the board of course, since emotional intellig…	/r/PurplePillDebate	07/05/25 09:12 PM
2	Men need to be aware that they are easily replaceable Funny how you've proven yourself to be doing the many of exact same things you're accusing them of in this very post. But given that, I see no reason to continue the conversation.	/r/PurplePillDebate	07/05/25 07:50 PM
1	"Women” have not become pickier but indecisive I agree with you, but I think it's done this to everyone, not just women. It's also made men focus more on visual and superficial traits rather than actually getting to know a woman. It's affected all of us, making us all too picky on what we're looking for. It's better to meet people in person, through other people, in group settings, etc.	/r/PurplePillDebate	07/05/25 07:25 PM
1	Men need to be aware that they are easily replaceable Maybe all of your "data" should include WHY they're getting divorced. I would imagine if they are like you and don't listen to the woman they're married to, perhaps that would be a reason why. Of course, if you believe that women are "more emotional" than men as if they're not human, I don't think anything would convince you until you change that mentality. Perhaps it's things like that that make men "replaceable".	/r/PurplePillDebate	07/05/25 07:13 PM
4	Women: Do you hate/despise unattractive incel losers who whine about women's dating standards more than actual abusers, rapists, and violent murderers of women? If so, why? It's less about the gender of the person and more about the person being frustrated when they don't get what they want from other people. For anyone, if they're not happy because they're not getting what they want out of dating and relationships, putting the blame on everyone else does nothing for your cause but makes you more miserable. Even if it was their fault, it does nothing to help you. You can't force people to do what you want. All you can do is change what you do.	/r/PurplePillDebate	07/05/25 01:22 PM
8	Women: Do you hate/despise unattractive incel losers who whine about women's dating standards more than actual abusers, rapists, and violent murderers of women? If so, why? It's not entitled to be sad. Everyone is free to feel whatever they like. What's entitled is blaming other people when they don't give you what you want. It's spending all of your time and energy focusing on things beyond your control which will only leave you more frustrated. Instead of focusing on everything that is in your control. Why don't you ask all of your friends in your life? Ask them how you can maximize your good qualities and humbly and openly ask them about your flaws and what you …	/r/PurplePillDebate	07/05/25 01:18 PM
2	Women: Do you hate/despise unattractive incel losers who whine about women's dating standards more than actual abusers, rapists, and violent murderers of women? If so, why? If women are shallow and poor judges of character I don't know why the OP would want to be with them. He should be happy doing his own thing and not obsess over them if that's all they are.	/r/PurplePillDebate	07/05/25 01:14 PM
3	It is acceptable, even congratulated, sometimes, for a woman to be 'masculine', bot for a man to be 'feminine'. Pursuing women who don't cook for clean or want to be mothers is not accepting women who are rejecting old gender roles. Cooking and cleaning and putting in work to be parents is good for ANYONE (not to say that anyone has to want to be a parent to be a good partner, but wanting to be a good parent and putting in the work is a positive quality). That's settling for someone that's not right for you because you have a need for a relationship. That's bad for anyone to do, not just men. (if both peo…	/r/PurplePillDebate	06/05/25 08:10 PM
5	Women having high standards shouldn’t be a problem It's weird to me because all of those things trap women who are already in relationships, but they don't seem to help lonely single men get relationships in the first place, and actually make women even LESS likely to want to get into relationships. Unless we're talking about men who are able to fake being a good partner long enough to get married (or get their partner pregnant) and then want women to be trapped in it. That makes sense to me. I guess it's all kind of nebulous and there can be a …	/r/PurplePillDebate	06/05/25 07:11 PM
7	It is acceptable, even congratulated, sometimes, for a woman to be 'masculine', bot for a man to be 'feminine'. Or maybe men are just more dependent than women are on having relationships, so they'll do whatever it takes as a tradeoff.	/r/PurplePillDebate	06/05/25 06:14 PM
2	It is acceptable, even congratulated, sometimes, for a woman to be 'masculine', bot for a man to be 'feminine'. There are so many different details to how people are treated from birth that it is impossible to say that boys and girls are treated exactly the same. It's not like parents are the ONLY source of messaging people gets from society. Some of it can be very subtle and implicit, not simply what toys or clothes they're given. It's too complex to simply write it off as natural instinct. At best it's a complicated mix that isn't easily parsed out.	/r/PurplePillDebate	06/05/25 06:12 PM
12	It is acceptable, even congratulated, sometimes, for a woman to be 'masculine', bot for a man to be 'feminine'. I have never had a woman tell me they can embrace whatever behaviors or personality traits they want with no social consequences. And if they are allowed to embrace masculine traits, it's because society views masculine traits as superior and feminine traits are inferior. So society automatically views the default of women are as lesser because it's viewed as ok if they do the inferior feminine things because women are viewed as inferior. And men are coddled just like women are. They are expecte…	/r/PurplePillDebate	06/05/25 06:08 PM
1	It is acceptable, even congratulated, sometimes, for a woman to be 'masculine', bot for a man to be 'feminine'. I don't see why it can't be true. It depends on how exactly the terms are defined, and there could be variations of what the word means. It might be seen as acceptable for men to be kind in certain ways, but not in the way that is deemed "feminine", which means not only are they excused of it, but it's viewed as a bad or weak thing. For example, a man listening to a woman and valuing her experiences could be perceived as weak and something only that women do, even though it's a kind thing to do.	/r/PurplePillDebate	06/05/25 06:01 PM
–	Most Men Do not truly want a relationship That was definitely what my immediate reaction was too. The part that was the most jarring to me was: "Chances are even your mother didn't want to be a mother. If someone gives you fake emotional comfort, it is usually with a price or a "covert contract" so you can never truly trust anyone anyway." The fact that the OP seems to believe that most mothers didn't want their children or don't love their children really struck me as a pattern of childhood trauma from parents, and then feeling like th…	/r/PurplePillDebate	06/05/25 05:52 PM
2	Women having high standards shouldn’t be a problem Are those all the result of men being alone though? I agree with you that that is part of the political strategy and it is aimed at men who miss the "good old days", but I'm not sure if it's single lonely men who are the ones pushing it. Hard to say though.	/r/PurplePillDebate	06/05/25 04:12 PM
4	Women having high standards shouldn’t be a problem I saw an interesting interview with someone who studied incels in particular, and at least for this group, he was saying that this has actually been different than other times in history because with modern technology, they are more "pacified" by all of the things they do online (unless you mean by online oppression or threats of violence online). It was interesting how he was saying that unless you count those online things they do, they were actually more of a danger to themselves than to othe…	/r/PurplePillDebate	06/05/25 03:59 PM
–	Women don't "owe" men relationships...But it's reasonable for men to be upset about not having them I agree with this wholeheartedly. Everyone is always allowed to feel upset about anything. However, it's also everyone's responsibility to control and manage their own emotions. It's helpful to have outlets for support (friends, family, therapy), but ultimately it's always up to each individual person to find happiness in life...no one else can ever do it for you. And it becomes draining for everyone around you to have to constantly support you if it's an endless chasm of always being upset abou…	/r/PurplePillDebate	06/05/25 03:25 PM
–	Women not granting men sexual access is not a “mens issue” I think you're chalking up the difficulty of it to an innate biological desire instead of looking at all of the social factors that promote it. There are certainly men throughout history (and I think of Eastern cultures where men would become monks) who have not needed sex to live a very fulfilling life. If this was just something embedded into mens' DNA then this wouldn't be possible. You can say they're outliers, but there's no proof they're biological outliers instead of having different cult…	/r/PurplePillDebate	02/05/25 04:14 PM