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WillingBeing Archive

View 2 posts and 105 comments by WillingBeing on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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65

Ask me how many times I’ve also heard men complain about women only ordering a salad when they take them to a really nice restaurant. We can’t win.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/07/20 09:21 PM
45

The irony of the “Nice Guy” is that he believes he’s unique and not like other men, which is essentially admitting there’s a problem with men in general. Yet it’s the woman’s fault if she dates a jerk, despite jerks being the default male behavior according to “Nice Guy” logic. If women just choose better (somehow despite the very limited supply of good men), more men would then level up and be nice guys as well. In other words, women are responsible for male behavior. See how that works?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/07/20 05:44 PM
18

You DO realize that easy access to porn is a recent phenomena, right? Men got by just fine without magazines and the internet for thousands of years. Sex and visual stimuli weren’t constantly available. Pretty sure they still managed to masturbate.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/07/20 04:51 PM
23

👆👆👆 Her TedTalk is one of the most amazing things I’ve watched. Highly recommend to those who haven’t seen it yet.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/07/20 06:46 PM
87

Watched Eurovision Song Contest last night. Will Ferrell plays a moody, mediocre LVM that the beautiful (and more talented) Rachel McAdams pines for. Meanwhile, an actual HVM tries to win her over — but of course they suggest the HVM is gay and she ends up with Ferrell.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/07/20 11:29 PM
4

I looked at your profile to confirm you’re not a man. You have at least 3 comments now that subtly suggest the procedure is riskier and more painful than it is. So, let’s try again so that no misinformation or myths are being posted: All birth control methods have a possibility of failing; however vasectomy is one of the most reliable of all the methods offered. The percentage of failed vasectomies is approximately one in 2000 (0.05 %) after clearance has been offered. Therefore *the chances of …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/06/20 04:04 PM
27

Pushing vasectomies as birth control is new territory. Quite frankly, even feminist women struggle with the idea. There are comments on this very post that tread into the myths about vasectomies and imply the procedure is more risky or painful than it is, as well as suggesting vasectomies aren’t reliable, even though it is the most effective form of birth control next to abstinence. Bell came to see it differently; he is willing to share a very personal decision and experience with cameras aroun…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/06/20 07:53 PM
12

I’m not sure what you mean by “spontaneous reversal”. Just to ensure there is no misinformation about failure rates (you can find this info easily on reputable sources online): After abstinence, vasectomies are considered the most effective method of birth control due to their long-term success rate of over 99%. In fact, only 1-2 women out of every 1,000 end up pregnant within a year of their partner receiving a vasectomy. Most vasectomy failures happen during the first couple of months after th…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/06/20 07:09 PM
58

Apparently, it’s popular for men to do them on Friday in order to use the weekend to recover. It’s just a brief outpatient procedure. My husband was out in less than an hour. Comedian W. Kamau Bell did a CNN segment, sharing the entire process for those interested (link). He says the following about his wife being on birth control for 15 years. Very HVM. That means my wife had been altering her body chemistry for my pleasure and carrying the responsibility of our family planning, while I just go…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/06/20 06:59 PM
221

Vasectomies are increasingly being seen as temporary birth control as well. Many men can still plan a family post-vasectomy. Pregnancy rates after reversal range from 30-90%. There are doctors who specialize in reversal. Men can also bank their sperm prior to the vasectomy, just in case. They also still produce sperm after a vasectomy, it simply no longer mixes with semen and is reabsorbed by the body. Therefore, sperm can be withdrawn and used to fertilize s partner’s egg by IVF with a decent d…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/06/20 04:54 PM
17

Far less than hormonal birth control and a pregnancy. And far less than tubal ligation.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/06/20 04:52 PM
56

The “crazy ex” trope is pure projection. In the U.S., per the CDC, half of all female homicide victims are killed by intimate partners. Add to that all the non-lethal stalking, domestic violence, and emotional abuse that men put women through and it’s clear who the real psychos are.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/06/20 06:18 PM
76

Just a reminder that therapists and counselors are only human, meaning they can be sexists and pickmes like anyone else. If you’re a woman, be doubly aware that even well-meaning counselors have difficulty with women feeling and expressing anger. (Think about the stereotype of our emotionality and the fact that we’re not socially permitted to feel the ONE emotion we let men express freely.) Studies also show that therapists will often focus on the woman in couples therapy rather than LVM behavio…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/06/20 01:40 PM
524

“Barely Legal” really just means men would go younger if they could.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/06/20 06:50 PM
12

The author of this article, Shahida Arabi, is amazing. She has a lot of free content online for those looking for genuinely insightful information.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/06/20 03:02 AM
24

Men should panic. Not only has their own declining fertility been significantly downplayed as they age, but researchers, including economists, have found that significant age gaps aren’t really a thing. (Also this.). The exceptions are very much related to oppression (e.g. child brides in sub-Sahara Africa).
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/06/20 04:28 AM
112

I’ve posted this so often, I keep it available to copy and paste: The World Health Organization (WHO) states that the leading cause of death for girls globally aged 15-19 is childbirth - their bodies aren’t mature enough to handle pregnancy and the infants are at increased risk (link). Peak fertility is generally ages 26-30. Researchers have even done studies where they show photos of a woman at different ages, and men of all ages, from teens to retirees, consistently pick the photo where the wo…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/06/20 05:22 PM
9

CoDA is an amazing resource. Glad you’re posting about it. Although I had heard of CoDA, I didn’t understand what it was until last year. I did a little research and went to a meeting. I got lucky and my first meeting was with a group of all women (all amazing and supportive). They encourage trying other meetings, though, before finding the right fit. I tried a second one. It was all dudes, and the primary organizer was a misogynist, which fed into an overall uncomfortable experience. (I unaffec…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/06/20 04:58 PM
11

This needs so much more discussion. I brought women’s anger up a few days ago on an FDS post about warning signs when choosing a therapist. I had a helluva time finding one that wasn’t biased, even among female therapists. My comment: Just a reminder that therapists and counselors are only human, meaning they can be sexists and pickmes like anyone else. If you’re a woman, be doubly aware that even well-meaning counselors have difficulty with women feeling and expressing anger. (Think about the s…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/06/20 01:47 PM
12

This is the textbook scenario for why FDS exists and why FDS emphasizes the 3 month mark as an important milestone in a relationship: It’s generally when a guy realizes he wants to get serious, or it’s when they tend to start playing games. I’d argue that you just left the love bombing stage and some manipulation is starting to take place. Keeping you confused is the primary goal. They want you to hold on to the good memories — all while playing hide and seek with their supposed feelings for you…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/06/20 01:27 PM
30

I somewhat agree. I feel these tactics are better suited for non-romantic relationships you can’t avoid, such as toxic workplaces, difficult family members, and social relationships that you can’t sever for various reasons. Bullies and narcissists are not in short supply, so these can be effective strategies. A romantic relationship should be the opposite, otherwise it would be exhausting to constantly navigate bad behavior and keep boundaries in place. The whole point is to find a full-time per…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/06/20 03:21 PM
13

You mention having a gut feeling that something is off, and the situation with his friends and family is odd this many months in, even with the quarantine. This sub takes a strong stance against “mixed signals” and feeling confused, primarily because many men use these tactics to string women along. The problem with you talking to him is that it sets the stage for you being the one who pushes for things to move forward. FDS thinks women deserve more enthusiasm from their partners. If he wanted t…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/06/20 12:34 AM
67

How many “anecdotal” stories does it take before a pattern emerges? I think what bothers men most about this sub is that abuse and oppression can actually be identified and labeled (e.g. gaslighting). They want to lump and categorize everything about us, from our looks and bodies (busty brunette!), to our sex lives (slut!). In truth so many men behave in such similar ways toward women that it’s nearly impossible for women to tell them apart. There’s a reason “Nice Guys” think they’re unlike othe…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/06/20 11:20 PM
4

Just to clarify, are you two exclusive? Or is that what you’re concerned about this many months in?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/06/20 10:55 PM
3

I feel you. It IS exhausting. I’m actually taking a break from the workplace because I was reaching the end of my tether. Even socially it’s hard to avoid people who do this. I’m disinclined to even refer to it as a micro-aggression at this point. It feels like such a pervasive issue.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/06/20 03:33 PM
39

I’m finally seeing some serious pushback on the whole “poly” thing. Hopefully, younger women can start start listening to their own needs. We’re groomed from birth to ignore our own discomfort. Also, lots of stories of men who wanted to be “poly,” only to get jealous of their girlfriend having sex with other, more attractive men.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/06/20 02:18 PM
14

I’m in my mid-40s and it’s still unrelenting. They need to believe in our inferiority so strongly that they’ll misfire and “correct” correct information. They rely on our silence when they’re wrong. And if we call them out — something that gets easier with age, by the way, which is why they’re more inclined to do it with younger women — we have to deal with petulance and/or anger. I rarely stay silent if I know what I’m talking about. I’ve also found that disengaging my attention is effective (e…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/06/20 01:59 PM
118

I became poly under duress Poly is the latest catch phrase for men who want to sleep around while stringing a woman along. Also, this guy’s therapist, if he even has one, isn’t telling him she’s instrumental to his therapy. If anything, he’s being told to leave her alone. The stereotype that women are the conniving and manipulative sex is pure misogynistic projection.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/06/20 01:27 PM
38

It’s almost as if they are trying to convince us that HVM are abundant and LVM are the exception. Turns out it’s the other way around.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/06/20 10:28 PM
22

⬆️Top comment.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/06/20 05:44 PM
42

A blow-up doll can meet all of those needs.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/06/20 05:41 PM
41

Odd how “daddy issues” are different when it comes to men.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/06/20 02:34 PM
22

It’s a form of negging. It’s letting you know that you’re not quite good enough or on par with men doing the same work. Hyper-criticism is at the heart of oppression. It’s an assumption of superiority that allows the person to constantly move the goal posts.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/06/20 03:15 PM
14

“I’m not abusive. I have never hit you.” This is how low the bar is. While there’s been a decrease in physical violence over the past few decades, emotional abuse remains rampant. This is why police don’t take these things seriously. After all, he never hit you, right? And then some of these men explode — killing their partners, their own children, and themselves. Emotional abuse follows a pattern and can be identified. It’s a huge red flag. ”Trauma-based entitlement is very common in people who…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/06/20 03:01 PM
56

Agree. It’s a term used a lot, but it’s not in the primary FDS glossary. I think “forever girlfriend” should be in there too.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/06/20 02:11 PM
51

There was a somewhat similar post yesterday on a different sub. Of course, some dude comes out of the woodwork with the brilliant advice that women should pay attention to their gut, get over their need to be nice, and tell men no if they are uncomfortable or not interested in dating. In case any male lurkers are bursting at the seams with similar advice, please re-read the posts because THAT’S EXACTLY WHAT THESE GIRLS AND YOUNG WOMEN DID.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/05/20 01:35 PM
27

Her approach was deliberate. The uncomfortable truth is that studies show nearly equal amounts of sex-based discrimination in the workplace coming from both men and women. Horizontal hostility is a significant problem, especially in fields like nursing. Even the likes of Paulo Freire knew that overcoming oppression starts with the oppressed group no longer internalizing the accepted norms. In other words, you have to open their eyes. “Pick me’s” in the workplace who convince themselves they are …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/05/20 06:43 PM
20

It’s truly a shame about Sheryl Sandberg. Lean In was a gentle reproach about internalized misogyny, which many professional women had never recognized before. Really opened a lot of eyes. There was a palpable shift at my law firm. Should mention that the book primarily catered to white women, though.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/05/20 04:54 PM
233

Gloria Steinem was frequently asked in her younger years why she refused to get married. While she would later marry in her late 60s, in her youth it was because she didn’t want to lose her civil rights. That’s right, getting married in her (and my mother’s) era actually translated into LOSING RIGHTS. Everything from owning property, to having a bank account, to marital rape. I’m in my mid-40s and can still remember my mom being unable to deposit a check in her name at their bank without my dad …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/05/20 05:49 AM
26

It never ceases to amaze me how many self-proclaimed “child-free” men end up getting their partner pregnant. Not only are vasectomies cheap and permanent, but they are extremely safe. The risk of side effects is very low, and there has never been a death associated with one, unlike hormonal birth control for women, which these LVM’s expect their partners to use. Not only does a woman assume the risk of pregnancy, but he forces her to take on the risk of birth control as well because “muh dick.”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/05/20 03:37 PM
195

This post is pure truth. There’s also a subtle cousin to this truth: Some misogynists and narcissists put a lot of effort into cultivating an image as a pillar of patience who has to deal with irrational and erratic behavior. And, of course, the “difficult” person is very fortunate to have someone so patient in their lives.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/05/20 08:40 PM
45

The concept of “grey rocking” has become incredibly popular, especially among people who were raised by and/or involved with narcissists and other toxic people. It’s a very effective technique. Ask me how I know.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/05/20 05:33 PM
9

The “economy of incompetence.” This was the term used in a book I had to read for a gender class I took in college ...(wait for it)...15 YEARS AGO. This crap has been observed for decades, yet in 2020 we’re still somehow blaming women for their behavior.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/05/20 07:50 PM
7

Agree. Men this age are either going through women like socks because they view them as objects and play things, or they’re not dating because no woman is good enough in their eyes, or they’re obsessed with young women who won’t give them the time of day, or they’ve been unable to keep a relationship and refuse to see themselves as the problem and/or work on improving themselves. It’s one thing to date and play the field in their 20s, quite another when they hit their late 30’s and have never ha…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/05/20 01:45 PM
18

Having no previous long-term relationship(s) is a major red flag by the time they reach that age. Even a man not interested in marriage or kids can still have healthy long-term relationships. As a happily married woman in my mid-40s, I can say with absolute and unequivocal certainty that he’s a misogynist/narcissist. He’s either chased off women with abusive behavior and/or has unhealthy and delusional views on much younger women. There’s a reason my 50 year-old husband and other good men start …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/05/20 04:50 AM
31

🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/05/20 12:30 AM
62

I’ve posted this so often, I keep it handy to copy-and-paste: The World Health Organization (WHO) states that the leading cause of death for girls globally aged 15-19 is childbirth - their bodies aren’t mature enough to handle pregnancy and the infants are at increased risk (link). Peak fertility is generally ages 26-30. Men desiring 15 year-olds is about grooming, not biology.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/05/20 07:05 PM
31

Worse, many of these posts are so popular that they’re making the front page. The latest was a dude buying tampons. A week ago it was a man who made breakfast because he’s unemployed and his wife is still employed and working from home. In other words, the most popular posts on these “feminist” subs are literally of men simply engaging in what should be normal, everyday behavior.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/05/20 02:58 PM
18

This post breaks the terminology down.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/05/20 04:12 PM
386

I believe the post is from a different country, but in the U.S.: The draft was enacted in 1917 by an ALL MALE Congress. In 1981 an ALL MALE SCOTUS upheld the requirement. In June 2016, Congress (STILL 80% MALE) refused to pass a provision in the defense bill to allow women to register. Yep, just 4 years ago. Women like this have fought long and hard to serve with men. Men have fought long and hard to keep us out - and then blame us for THEIR rules.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/05/20 04:54 PM
39

This video gives a really great explanation of Cool Girls. It’s a male fantasy where she’s “just one of the guys” with interests that completely align with his and generally aren’t “girly” in nature - all while trying to be unbelievably gorgeous/hot. Cool Girls try to live up to that fantasy, often perceiving themselves as “not like other girls.” Pickmeishas are more willing to engage in “traditional” feminine roles, hoping to win a guy over with the “wifey behavior” that Cool Girls try to rejec…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/05/20 04:27 AM
29

This terrific post discusses LVM, ZVM, and NVM.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/05/20 03:50 PM
29

And in the next breath, they only want bad boys with no money. She’s either a “gold digger” or should “mAkE bETtEr ChOiCes.” The shifting sands of misogyny never end.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/05/20 02:31 PM
113

This is such an excellent point. It’s always the woman’s responsibility to behave rationally - and then be labeled hysterical and overly-emotional if she expresses even a hint of anger.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/04/20 08:03 PM
334

The deepest irony is that we’re doing exactly what men said we should: Have self-respect, make better choices, be picky, don’t financially rely on men, earn our own income, etc. Us doing these very things has exposed the shifting sands of misogyny - and how often we’re actually being told to stay with abusive men and NOT have standards.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/04/20 07:59 PM
126

How can this be? I’ve been assured by men that wOmEn jUsT nEeD tO mAkE bEtTeR cHoIcEs when it comes to men. She must have done something wrong. /s
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/04/20 07:42 PM
35

I agree with the cool girl factor. Many would describe it as “feeling sexy,” which in reality has to do with their partner finding them sexy - not the sexual act itself. So many don’t question how frequently our discomfort and pain are sources of pleasure for men. “She’s willing to do this for me!” is what most dudes are thinking. From high heels to uncomfortable clothes, bras, and lingerie to uncomfortable/painful sex.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/04/20 01:41 AM
50

Plenty of women? Approximately 72% of women experience pain during anal. And, of course, research shows it’s almost always at the man’s request.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/04/20 01:28 AM
201

Honestly, the increasing degradation in porn over the past 25 years is astounding. At this point, the next stage of porn will involve men having sex with our ears. And some Pick Me will be ticked at her ENT doctor for telling her that ears are for hearing, not fucking. “But we use lube!”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/04/20 11:51 PM
63

Given that the vast majority of child support goes unpaid in the U.S., faking a death seems like a lot of wasted energy - especially for an LVM. Just don’t pay it. Men not paying for their kids is the American way!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/04/20 06:43 AM
41

Odd how no one asks “why did it take so long for them to speak out” when male victims of priests come forward. Hell, it only took one male victim to bring down Kevin Spacey. Meanwhile, it took a few decades and DOZENS of women to bring down Cosby. And the men who believe Cosby and that the encounters were consensual never question Cosby’s credibility — despite the fact that the man was MARRIED and made a living off his image as a family man.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/04/20 07:35 PM
15

The World Health Organization (WHO) states that the leading cause of death for girls globally aged 15-19 is childbirth - their bodies aren’t mature enough (link). Peak fertility is generally ages 26-30.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/04/20 04:29 PM
111

The World Health Organization (WHO)states that the leading cause of death globally for girls 15-19 is complications due to childbirth - because their bodies aren’t mature enough yet. EDIT: It’s been a wild ride watching the upvotes/downvotes on this comment. Male lurkers are triggered.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/03/20 10:31 PM
161

I’ve shared this before on this sub, and I’ll continue to share it as often as needed: I let my guard down once and shared with a boyfriend that I had been raped. He looked at me for a moment and then asked why I hadn’t included my rapist in my “number.” Never share your trauma, ladies. Never share how many sexual partners you’ve had.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/03/20 05:01 AM
60

I’m a woman in my mid-40s. I watched women “opt out” of professional careers back in the early 2000’s to stay at home, mostly because husbands weren’t helping. The latest trend of professional women is to prioritize their careers but to pay for nannies, maids, cooking services, etc. These services are bandaids that hide the fact that they were only needed because men still refused to do the work. I imagine the rose-colored glasses are falling off during the quarantine. Most women never had a par…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/03/20 04:33 PM
34

I read somewhere that the divorce rate spiked in China due to the quarantine. I know that sexism is even worse there (I’m in the U.S.)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/03/20 04:22 PM
7

I did notice two important things: 1) It was nearly always the woman who filed for divorce. They also turned in forms, etc. in a timely manner- even in childless scenarios where she was the primary breadwinner. Men consistently dragged their feet about virtually everything. 2) Most men had their parents involved, especially in cases with children. The grandparents were also almost always funding the man’s divorce. Same with custody issues post divorce.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/03/20 12:45 AM
241

I once shared with a boyfriend that I was raped, and he asked why I hadn’t included my rapist in my “number.” I learned the hard way, ladies. Never share your trauma. Never share how many sexual partners you’ve had.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/03/20 10:04 AM
36

Great advice. Of note: In the U.S., most child support goes unpaid. Last I checked, it was something like 110 BILLION. While low income men are one aspect of the problem, most attorneys will also tell you that the dudes with money are the ones that go to EXTRAORDINARY lengths to hide their income and not pay. They’ll use the court system to drain their exes financially, etc. I used to work in family law, and it was awful. Even in my “Pick Me” days, I was truly disgusted. Being a LVM has nothing …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/03/20 02:21 AM
24

I find it interesting that men will complain about the lack of blue collar work that doesn’t require a college degree, but in the next breath try to argue that men are more intelligent than women (so, why aren’t they going to college in the same numbers then?) Also, women aren’t “taking” jobs from men - that argument is no different than arguing minorities steal jobs. The idea of someone “taking” jobs reeks of entitlement. I mean, why do men think the job belonged to them in the first place? If …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/03/20 04:22 PM
36

An economist named Nicholas Eberstadt wrote an entire book on the mystery of America’s missing male workers (this short article summarizes it.) American men are the true gold diggers and welfare recipients, often collecting disability despite the fact that they’re able-bodied or able to attend school to change careers. Disability should be for those truly in need. Most are also living off women. From the article: “Who supports them? Their families and taxpayers. About 57 percent of men outside t…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/03/20 03:26 PM
68

Big trucks are just another version of man-spreading.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/03/20 03:36 PM
16

I’m 45, and I rarely see attractive men my age and older — and I say this as a happily married woman who thinks my 50 year old hubby is still the sexiest thing. But the reality is that few older men take care of themselves the same way women do. Also, I was never attracted to older men back in my 20’s. Most young women aren’t. Maybe these guys should start listening to women instead of other delusional men for once?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/03/20 12:28 AM
76

Posts like this make men livid. My favorite is when a guy tries to argue that there are more male geniuses - somehow implying that men are more intelligent than women. Oddly, it's never a male genius that says this, because a genius knows how to read a bell curve and understands that it indicates the OPPOSITE. You don't even have to buy into the IQ bell curve either - just fight them with their own stupid logic. On a bell curve, males fall more into the two outliers of "exceptional" and "intelle…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/02/20 06:05 PM
61

I had social anxiety when I was younger. Listen to your gut about his harsh “correcting.” Don’t dismiss it as “not that bad.” So much of my insecurity in social situations was directly related to being female and being put down by both men and other women (pick me’s). I was pushing 40 when that finally clicked for me. It was life changing. And yeah, 95% of men sounds about right, unfortunately.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/02/20 05:38 AM
114

The Queensland, Australia police literally told the public to keep an “open mind” and suggested that Rowan Baxter had been “driven too far” when he doused his wife and children in petrol and set them on fire. You know, because they need to understand a “motive.” (Link to story) What the actual fuck? Misogyny was the motive. It’s a hate crime.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/02/20 05:13 PM
63

In all seriousness, this was the response of some dude on a recent thread saying FDS should be banned. Someone unfamiliar with our sub looked at it and said they didn’t see the problem, that it’s nothing like MGTOW/incel and is non-violent. Dude literally responded with “Didn’t you read the part where they expect men to pay for dinner!!!” As if paying for a date is on par with rape and abuse. Men are the irrational sex.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/02/20 02:37 PM
132

Don’t men outnumber women on OLD sites by at least 2:1? I’ve read some stats as high as 9:1. And let’s not forget Ashley Madison and the fake female accounts they had to create to attract men. Given that men are supposed to be more logical, rational, and mathematically oriented, they sure seem flummoxed by the concept of supply and demand.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/02/20 02:30 PM
74

Truth: I’ve been married for 20 years, so I have no skin in the dating game. With that said, I love this sub. It’s the most empowering and feminist space I’ve ever seen. I get on this sub nearly every morning to upvote and support comments while I drink my morning coffee. It’s clear that others are doing the same. Love you ladies! Keep it up!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/02/20 05:16 AM
156

I absolutely adore Gabrielle. I nearly cried when they got back together...she deserves so much more.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/02/20 09:55 PM
42

Hands down, the most concise “TL;DR” I’ve ever read.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/02/20 05:04 AM
11

This is a great comment. OP, I know the comments can be tough to read, but this one hits the nail on the head. You can’t change past mistakes but you CAN change the future. I think you know in your heart that you need to move on. You’re worth more than waiting out “cold feet.”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/02/20 11:02 PM
13

One of the best things about this sub are the concrete steps it provides in the handbook and sidebar. They can feel uncomfortable at first because we’ve been conditioned to believe that we’re not worth better treatment. You cannot determine if they’re a HVM this soon. The minimum is at least a few months in (but probably longer.) He should be driving to see you; no meeting in the middle. Women assume much greater risks when it comes to dating. This is why he needs to put in the effort. He’s alre…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/02/20 04:11 PM
16

Ha! Good for her! I did that once too. Felt amazing.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/02/20 06:04 PM
32

It’s funny you make that comparison. I used to be a secretary, which is a position historically rooted in misogyny. I know many women, myself included, who got calls asking inane work questions, both during vacations and after we quit. When I started a new position, I was frequently told to call the former assistant with any questions; usually it was shit the boss should know if they had any inkling of how their own office worked, or questions they should have asked before the employee quit. Cue…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/02/20 05:56 PM
94

There are many men that have lived independently and have life skills —but they stop doing them when a woman enters their lives. It’s disturbing. Many men have had roommates, especially in college. They never left those roommates dirty dishes to be cleaned or clothes on the floor to be picked up. They never left a mess that made their roommate late for classes or work. They never opened the fridge and just expected food to be there without grocery shopping - and get annoyed with their roommate w…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/02/20 03:16 PM
71

I’ve been struck by how many stories there are of women supporting men through school, often both financially and emotionally. It’s always for some “challenging” grad school program or med school, meaning the dude has to focus all his energy on school while the women does all the housework and cooking. Of course, this is never reciprocal when it comes to her schooling. He almost always dumps her after graduation. I’m relatively new here. Has this dynamic received more discussion? It’s amazing ho…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/02/20 02:17 PM
9

How he treats you in front of his friends is extremely important. At best it’s odd behavior. However, it almost feels purposeful on his end. Also, his behavior felt off-putting to you at the time. Pay attention to that feeling. Women are conditioned to ignore their feelings and tell themselves “it’s not that bad” or that we’re being too sensitive. Men can be adept at lowering our standards one small act at a time. I can’t give you a firm answer about seeing him again, but be prepared to end the …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/02/20 04:26 PM
44

Valentine’s Day doesn’t just mean dinner. There are a lot of creative and romantic ways to celebrate. A simple Google search would have got him started. He doesn’t seem very excited. You deserve enthusiasm. His suggestion of staying home sounds akin to Netflix and Chill.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/02/20 03:53 PM
45

Reminds me of that poll where men admitted to spending 7 hours a year in the bathroom in order to dodge their families and household responsibilities.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/02/20 02:50 PM
39

My favorite is when they argue it’s “biological” for women to seek men with resources in order to provide for offspring, yet call them “gold diggers” when they do. I mean, women are just engaging in their natural biological inclinations, right? Never mind that men literally made women property and enacted laws preventing them from voting, education, accessing well-paying jobs, equal pay, opening a bank account, etc. Literally, the only way women could access food and shelter was through marriage…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/02/20 04:14 PM
8

I’m so sorry you’re going through this. I hope you get out safely.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/02/20 07:50 PM
33

It’s incredible how some men will buy themselves time. They wait until marriage, or worse, until after children arrive. They know how much harder it is for women to leave at that point. It’s abuse.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/02/20 07:18 PM
72

There are many men that have these skills but stop doing them when a woman arrives. It’s disturbing. There are men who would never leave their college roommates dirty dishes or clothes on the floor to be picked up. They wouldn’t leave a mess that makes their roommate late for classes or work. They would never open the fridge and just expect food to be there without grocery shopping - and get annoyed when it’s not. Yet, they’ll do this to the woman who risked her life to have his children and wor…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/02/20 06:16 PM
46

And who’s creating the demand as well as the supply of that porn? THAT’S the problem, not porn itself. I’m old enough to tell you that contemporary porn is vastly different than porn 25 years ago. It’s far more degrading, abusive, disturbing, and frequently depicts scenes that are, in fact, rape. Blocking sites isn’t enough. It’s addressing the misogyny that’s made porn into something so disturbing.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/02/20 06:01 PM
40

Anger. Society is deeply uncomfortable when women display it. It’s the one emotion we’re not allowed to express. We’re called “crazy” and “psycho” when we express displeasure at male behavior. Hell, look at the reaction this sub gets. Meanwhile, men’s anger is killing women.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/02/20 03:33 PM
11

There is a handbook that is required reading for this sub. They discuss this heavily, but here’s one post. Men frequently go into these interactions wanting sex. Sex has MUCH higher consequences socially and physically for women (literally our lives when it comes to birth control and pregnancy). This is just one of the many, many reasons we should expect men to pay.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/02/20 06:56 PM
48

I didn’t know that until I read the article! It briefly discusses schizophrenia: “It is well documented that children of older fathers are more likely to be diagnosed with schizophrenia — one in 141 infants with fathers under 25 versus one in 47 with fathers over 50.” The risk of autism also increases after the father turns 30.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/02/20 06:42 PM
5

Kids will increase your food budget, as well as lessen the time you have to plan meals, grocery shop, and cook. This article is a terrific take on the subject. It’s getting more attention because it impacts families in bigger ways than most people realize.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/02/20 08:48 PM
36

Now that I’m in my mid 40s, I view men that can’t or won’t cook as one of THE biggest red flags. It’s not just the financial implications of eating out or buying pre-made food, it’s also the effort and time that cooking and planning meals takes. If you want children, it should be an absolute deal-breaker. Ask me how I know.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/02/20 04:33 PM
18

Not sure if this is of interest, but peak fertility for women is approximately age 26, and there have been studies that correlate “peak” physical attractiveness with that age. Of significant note, though, are some studies that don’t show near the decline that people are led to believe (fertility of ages 27–34 and ages 35–39 groups have only a four-percent difference). Also, the World Health Organization (WHO) reports childbirth as the leading cause of death globally for girls ages 15-19 because …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/02/20 01:46 AM
15

I can’t help put focus on the part where you mentioned his friends (jokingly) implied they were jealous. Of the great food you made? Or the fact that your boyfriend “found a woman who cooks”? I’d be wary of anyone who “jokes” about the latter. The company men keep is very telling.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/02/20 04:42 PM
14

Exactly. And sex is a huge risk for women, both physically and socially. How these things even equate for these guys is beyond irrational.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/02/20 06:56 PM
15

Seriously, they equate the expectation that men pay for dates as comparable to abuse. Meanwhile, a terrorist got their site quarantined. “False equivalency” is the understatement of the past two millennium...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/02/20 06:33 PM
10

Ah yes, the “fauxpology” - a favorite of narcissists and misogynists.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/01/20 09:18 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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