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Wire_Bender Archive

View 6 posts and 59 comments by Wire_Bender on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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6

This is so true. My ex will cut off her nose to spite her face if it means that she won. The best part is, she has hurt herself more than anything else trying to "win". And I am still getting my freedom. There are no winners in divorce...... Except the lawyers.
/r/Divorce_Men24/11/24 05:57 PM
2

Just to give you something to consider, I was in your position 10 years ago and thought I should "stay together for the kids". I am now 50+ years old and wish I left her back then. Your kid will survive a divorce, and you will be better off getting out sooner, rather than later.
/r/Divorce_Men18/11/24 12:49 AM
7

OP... This... I was in the exact situation. No cheating, but I was her meal ticket. It shows even more now during the divorce. It's all about the money and the fact that she won't have the luxurious life she had while married to me.
/r/Divorce_Men17/11/24 07:41 PM
1

Luckily no alimony. I do make more money than her, and that's her argument. I should pay for everything since I make more than her. I would have been fine with an equitable split of the bills based on income, but she didn't want anything to do with that. We put 50/50 split in our recommendations to the court at trial, and that's what the judge signed off on.
/r/Divorce_Men13/11/24 02:27 PM
3

I would have considered this, but 2 things.... She hasn't paid anything in 6 months and doesn't feel obligated to pay anything. The key word you used was "sane". She is far from sane.
/r/Divorce_Men13/11/24 02:01 AM
3

The divorce is final and she seems to have new insurance. I've asked her twice if she did, but she doesn't respond. My last communication was I will assume you have new coverage and will remove you from the policy unless I hear otherwise by end of day tomorrow. But I will confirm with my lawyer before doing anything final.
/r/Divorce_Men12/11/24 11:47 PM
2

Yes she does. We worked together until recently, then she gave notice and started a new job. No clue where, and I really don't care.
/r/Divorce_Men12/11/24 10:50 PM
2

That's where I'm at right now. I'm ready to go nuclear, but most options hurt me at the same time. I'm thinking she is trying to milk this as long as she can, knowing that I will cave and pay. That's what I did in the past. That's why I asked about the missed mortgage payment because that's the only way to show her I'm not paying anymore. I paid my half of the mortgage. The rest is hers to pay. If she doesn't it affects her as much as it does me since we are both on the mortgage. She took hersel…
/r/Divorce_Men12/11/24 10:49 PM
3

I totally understand survival mode. Been there for a while too. My son is type 1 also. Diagnosed 12 years ago. If you have any questions about it, let me know.
/r/Divorce_Men12/11/24 10:27 PM
3

This just started yesterday when we received the final decree, so the lawyers are not involved yet. If you include the 6 months prior that she hasn't contributed, it's closer to $15,000 if you include utilities. She won't even buy dog food for the dog's that she asked to keep.
/r/Divorce_Men12/11/24 09:50 PM
2

Yes, we are officially divorced. It was the final decree that was signed Monday from our trial in September. The pre-trial orders were to keep everything status quo, but of course she stopped contributing her paycheck to the community Bank account back in April. I brought that up during the trial, but my lawyer said I probably wouldn't get that money back. I already took out a loan against my 401k to cover lawyer fees. The house had been on the market for a little over a month, but there are a b…
/r/Divorce_Men12/11/24 09:48 PM
2

Mine dropped 60 points after paying off 2 car loans and a home equity loan. They just all happen to mature in September.
/r/Divorce_Men12/11/24 08:33 PM
1

This was the final judgement. We went to court in September and we're waiting to get the final ruling. And the judge didn't force her to pay back the previous 6 months that she didn't contribute. I was not expecting it based on what my lawyer said, but it's unfair that she lived rent free in the house. The judge did side with me and just signed our proposal, so I think my ex not contributing to the household hurt her in the judges eyes. We even filed a motion to get my ex to contribute, but it n…
/r/Divorce_Men12/11/24 08:29 PM
4

Credit has already taken a hit. Been in this process 11 months and with high utilization/closed accounts, I went from a low 800's score to a high 600's score. I know that's not horrible, but I don't want to have issues in the future with getting an apartment. We both currently live in the marital home, and my kids will be home from college for Thanksgiving, so I'd prefer for them to have power/water. That's why I was considering getting an apartment now, and then not worry about credit/utilities…
/r/Divorce_Men12/11/24 08:21 PM
1

That's something you would have to discuss with a lawyer (which I am not), but the fact that you used it to purchase the new house may have made it commingled and therefore a joint asset. But you are not splitting the $72,000, that money is part of the house now. The money you are splitting is the equity in the house. If the lawyer can argue that you have the right to the $72,000, then you possibly can subtract that from the total equity in the house.
/r/Divorce_Men05/11/24 06:44 PM
1

In regards to the house, you split what equity is in the house. For example, you bought the house for $500,000. Put $72,000 down and took out a $428,000 mortgage. Today the house is worth $550,000, and you owe $415,000 on the mortgage. There is $135,000 in equity. You split that 50/50. You would need to pay her $67,500 to buy her out of the house.
/r/Divorce_Men05/11/24 06:27 PM
3

I wouldn't rely on her camera to protect you in cases of false allegations. You don't have access to the camera/footage. The footage will conveniently disappear if anything that will help you is recorded. If you have access to the Wi-Fi, scan the IP addresses and see what's connected to it. It should show up in the device list
/r/Divorce_Men02/11/24 07:42 PM
6

How is she going to buy you out of the house? If your name is on the mortgage, she will need to refinance the loan to remove your name, unless the loan is assumable. I wouldn't keep your name on the mortgage. If she defaults on payments, you are responsible. Another thing to consider is the tax benefits of the equity in the house. This is something I didn't consider, but my lawyer pointed out. When she sells the house down the road, she will benefit from tax exemption for up to $500,000 in gains…
/r/Divorce_Men28/10/24 02:34 PM
4

The question you have to answer is would you rather be happy, broke and have to work longer, or retire and be unhappy for the rest of your life. I know my answer is be happy and broke.
/r/Divorce_Men25/10/24 01:55 PM
25

I wouldn't move out. File for divorce and ask for alimony(or spousal maintenance depending on the state). You supported her during school. That's a clear example of when alimony is awarded. You also deserve half of all assets that you two have accrued since the marriage. Start forming a list of all assets and documenting everything.
/r/Divorce_Men01/10/24 07:07 PM
4

I'm going on 10 months. Had court 2 weeks ago and I'm still waiting for the judge to decide the final settlement. According to my ex, I'm the biggest piece of shit for the way my lawyer questioned her, and the fact that we even went to court. She says I should have accepted her offer that was so one sided.
/r/Divorce_Men01/10/24 05:48 PM
5

If you both are wanting to divorce, I would start now. You both can live in the house and keep things the way they are while you are going through the process. Just be prepared for issues when she doesn't get what she wants. Also, do not under any circumstances, sleep with her.
/r/Divorce_Men01/10/24 03:55 PM
2

You will get past this. It sucks,, but you will get through it. Keep doing the steps to prevent yourself from using alcohol to help. It is not the answer. Many of us have been in your shoes and most of us are happier on the other side. Focus on improving yourself and keep looking for work. Focus on one day at a time.
/r/Divorce_Men30/09/24 01:59 AM
2

Trying to hide assets is a huge risk. While it's enticing to do that, there are so many ways to find them.
/r/Divorce_Men30/09/24 01:17 AM
1

This is me right now. I have even found a place to move to, but I can't afford both the rent and the mortgage. I'm waiting for the judge to decide the final settlement. It sucks, but it's what I have to do.
/r/Divorce_Men30/09/24 01:15 AM
11

Welcome to the club. I have been grey rocking my stxw for 9 months now and the only interaction is when I bring up household bills and she goes off on me for running her life. She filed. She deposits her paycheck into her own account. I pay all bills. We are trying to sell the house, but I can't afford to fix problems and she won't contribute. Luckily my kids are adults and we didn't have to deal with custody. I am counting the days till the judge finally gives us the final orders.
/r/Divorce_Men27/09/24 09:23 PM
5

What apps did you use....... So I can avoid them.
/r/Divorce_Men14/09/24 11:09 PM
2

Check your DMs
/r/Divorce_Men30/04/24 02:31 AM
1

It appears that way. Mine does the same, and she has shown narcissistic/borderline traits. If I do something for the kids(not anything out of the ordinary, just the regular stuff I always did) she will bitch at me about it saying that I'm just trying to win them over (or turns them against her), then she will try to one up me. It's just in her nature. Fortunately, my kids are old enough to see through this.
/r/Divorce_Men29/04/24 03:44 AM
4

Texas is father friendly (or just fair in general). Unless you have done something malicious to change that. What area of DFW are you? My lawyer is in Collin county and has been good to me if you want a recommendation up north. Be careful of the lawyers that advertise to men specifically. I've heard that you will pay more for them, but not get anything extra out of it since Texas is pretty fair.
/r/Divorce_Men29/04/24 03:37 AM
1

Ok. I understand. That would be a question for your lawyer, but I would think they are separate expenses. Similar to if your kids did an extra curricular activity. Those are usually split 50/50 and not associated with child support.
/r/Divorce_Men25/04/24 09:23 PM
1

Am I missing something? What do you mean "do they fall under child support?". Child support ends in May, college starts after that. You won't have to pay both child support and college. And as others have said, it's up to you if you want to pay your half of college. My lawyer said it was near impossible to get an enforceable way to have the other party pay for college. I wanted to have part of the equity of the house be put into our kids 529 plan to cover college, and he said unless both parties…
/r/Divorce_Men25/04/24 07:53 PM
7

I would feel sorry for my STBX's new boyfriend. He wouldn't know what was ahead for him.
/r/Divorce_Men18/04/24 12:20 AM
1

I am keeping track of everything. She filed for divorce. Mainly because I was too much of a pussy to do it. I was unhappy, and I should have filed years ago, but you live and learn. I was "staying together for the kids". I finally realized I needed to think for myself, and she wasn't happy with that. Luckily my kids are "adults" (19 and 21), but they still see what's going on, so I'm trying to do what's best for them. She is even using them in the divorce. They see right through it, but I still …
/r/Divorce_Men13/04/24 03:52 AM
1

So the equity would be (325k-199k=126k). She would have to refinance the old loan, and pay you $63,000 to buy you out of the house. That's the way I understood it.
/r/Divorce_Men11/04/24 07:47 PM
1

"Here's how to qualify for alimony in Texas, a couple has to have been married for at least 10 years, and the spouse requesting alimony cannot reasonably meet their needs financial (about $18,0000 per year)." This was from a law firm's website, so you seem to be good. Unless it becomes part of the negotiation.
/r/Divorce_Men11/04/24 07:44 PM
2

I didn't remember exactly, but I thought the threshold for spousal support was 10 years of marriage in Texas. I think that would also include Common law marriage (living together with common accounts prior to marriage.
/r/Divorce_Men11/04/24 07:37 PM
1

Equity at the time you sign the papers. Value of house - account owed on house. That's where the arguments will begin. She will of course say the house is values lower than what you think. My lawyer talked about other things like realtor fees (even though you are not selling it) and tax incentives upon sale, but that may be specific to my case.
/r/Divorce_Men11/04/24 07:35 PM
1

I'm currently going through one in Texas right now. Luckily Texas of a no fault 50/50 split. Did you buy the house together with community money? If so, she needs to pay you half of the equity of the house, and she needs to refinance to get your name off the house(or she can assume it is the loan permits that).
/r/Divorce_Men11/04/24 06:57 PM
7

Unfortunately I don't have the keys.
/r/Divorce_Men08/04/24 03:01 AM
11

I read a great blog to get around this. Go to a casino nearby, take out cash. Stay in the area for a while(of course don't spend any money). Then go home. Find a gamblers anonymous to go to weekly and make it seem like you gambled the money away. This prevents any tracking devices to say that you didn't. I didn't do this, but I thought it was genius.
/r/Divorce_Men08/04/24 02:58 AM
6

I feel the same way. I want to buy myself some things that I didn't in the past because she would throw a fit, but I'm waiting until the divorce is final and look at it as a present to myself.
/r/Divorce_Men08/04/24 12:26 AM
1

I have been paying everthing for the last 20+ years, but now every transaction is questioned. She has access to every account, both business and personal and has a paper trail to everything. But she still accuses me. I'm like you, I only have the change on my dresser that she can have to end this nightmare.
/r/Divorce_Men06/04/24 01:34 AM
3

The fact that she called me an asshole is a compliment now. I realized I was a simp for too long. Like the post said, my balls are back.
/r/Divorce_Men06/04/24 01:23 AM
2

I am definitely sticking to my guns. I am done with her control and manipulation. She is even using the kids for that. Luckily they see right through it.
/r/Divorce_Men06/04/24 01:19 AM
2

We have had a joint account since we were married. I know now that was stupid, but you live and learn. Never again.
/r/Divorce_Men06/04/24 01:18 AM
3

She is accusing me of screwing her. The crazy thing is during discovery, I handed everyting over, and when I received hers, I noticed a missing account that is somehow paying her credit card. The projection is great with her. And I am looking forward to not having to worry about her reactions.
/r/Divorce_Men06/04/24 01:16 AM
2

I'm seeing that now. I was naive to think that we can get through this cordially.
/r/Divorce_Men06/04/24 01:13 AM
2

With kids involved, I was trying to be nice for them. They are old enough to realize the truth. I don't need to be nice anymore
/r/Divorce_Men06/04/24 01:11 AM
3

"Selfishness" is a new feeling for me. I am just realizing that being "selfish" is not a bad thing.
/r/Divorce_Men06/04/24 01:10 AM
3

That's the plan.
/r/Divorce_Men05/04/24 03:36 AM
2

Good luck. And welcome to the club. We are here to help you as questions arise. And they will. No divorce is simple.
/r/Divorce_Men26/02/24 03:13 AM
2

If she has access to the plans account on the website, she can access all phones on the plan. My wife did that years ago before the divorce started. She logged onto the account and viewed my text messages.
/r/Divorce_Men26/02/24 01:49 AM
11

I can see enjoyment in helping her move her stuff out of my house for good. And the quicker, the better.
/r/Divorce_Men02/02/24 06:42 PM
5

It doesn't, but it tells phones local to it that they are being tracked. If he puts an airtag in his wife's possession, her phone will notify her that she is being tracked.
/r/Divorce_Men20/10/23 03:26 AM
2

Never has a video have me yelling at the screen like this one. That lawyer is horrible. That man handled it great and I applaud him for keeping his composure in the face of all those allegations.
/r/Divorce_Men26/02/23 08:37 PM
3

Wouldn't it be $500 for child support. Half is $1200 each. You paying $500 would even it up. I would think you would split the $1000 difference.
/r/Divorce_Men22/02/23 02:56 PM
4

I know that it's in everyone's best interest, but we are too entangled in business that it will mess up more than just the relationship, but also my financials. I have one kid in college and another about to go. I don't know if that will even be affected, but it's on my mind.
/r/Divorce_Men30/01/23 01:22 AM
5

I'm there right now. I'm clocked out and too scared to take the plunge.
/r/Divorce_Men30/01/23 01:17 AM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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