Wired4Data Archive

Upvotes	Title	Category	Author	Subreddit	Date (UTC)

Upvotes	Comment on	Subreddit	Date (UTC)
1	Help. As others have said you have to protect yourself. For some women a TRO is a tool to control you and gain leverage nothing more. I understand that you may love her, hell I loved my ex at one point too, but this situation could get significantly worse and cost you more than you know! Seek a lawyer, fight for an equable timeshare with for your child, and start rebuilding your life. Even if she gets better for a short time, it will be temporary, and she will eventually pull this kinda stunt again. I…	/r/Divorce_Men	06/05/23 10:37 PM
2	how do you know it's finish ? When you make changes but you find yourself having the SAME arguments. When you can’t seem to do anything right in their eyes. When you wake up and there is always drama, yelling at the kids, the dog,etc… Basically when you find them getting on your last nerve, it’s time to pull the plug. Peace is Priceless!	/r/Divorce_Men	03/05/23 03:34 AM
2	Getting taken advantage of during my divorce. My advice is change both your mindset and theirs! When realtors, inspectors, etc offered apologies or remarks about my divorce, my immediate response was don’t feel sorry, I’m the one who filed and she was a bitch! I’d usually leave off the “bitch” remark talking to another woman. As for folks coming out of the woodwork.. if they are your friends they shouldn’t be begging. Unless you have FU money, most of us need all the coin we can pull together to rebuild from divorce.	/r/Divorce_Men	30/04/23 10:30 PM
5	Going to war has taken its its toll. Like yourself, Not many of us want war but we have to prepare for war if we want any chance of peace! I loved my ex at some point too and used to try and pull my punches, each time she thanked me with a lie about me, my family, how our child felt about me, etc. My point is that love we once had is a weakness for them to exploit, stay ready because they won’t hesitate to gut you like a fish!	/r/Divorce_Men	29/04/23 06:31 AM
3	Considering suicide. Divorce destroyed my life. Know its hard and the road seems impossible but don't let a relationship or the end of one define you. I get the feeling of loss, I think the majority of us have bouts of it hard not to on this journey. But try to take it one step at a time, one day at time.	/r/Divorce_Men	28/04/23 06:13 AM
2	Day 13 I was just thinking that as I read OPs comments. OP, please don’t allow yourself to be gaslit! I’d venture to say none of us know your situation like you, but if you can look yourself in the mirror and rattle off things that you did for your ex or your marriage then you must entertain the possibility that it’s not all on you… Mine told me I needed to do more, I cleaned the house, worked full time, ran the kids anywhere they needed o go attended all school functions drove my ex to and from work w…	/r/Divorce_Men	27/04/23 04:54 AM
4	Mediation Nightmare When I went to mediation I was relieved when I got a guy… I thought great he’s going to understand the challenges that most fathers have going through this very trying time… NOPE the guy was a fucking simp! Not because I didn’t get my way but he didn’t see through my ex’s bs… she said things like, i don’t wanna have to contact him can’t I just let child do it! She repeatedly tried to come at me, I kept my wits about me and offered context. At the end of the day he gave her what she wanted… the g…	/r/Divorce_Men	26/04/23 11:51 PM
3	Better to leave her or wait for her to leave me ? Kill or be killed! She is NOT your partner, she is likely thinking more about her future and your demise so act accordingly. Filing first in my opinion definitely helps beat back the crap narrative that women like to create.	/r/Divorce_Men	26/04/23 12:05 AM
10	Cautionary tale from affairs subreddit My ex’s lawyer rolled into the court room so full of himself. He had two little junior lawyers flanking him, the visual I had was of a shark in the ocean with 2 little fish trailing.. I remember laughing at him and saying he has a very punchable face… we all had a good laugh (my attorney and I) which may explain why the guy hates my guts… the ex started with saying she was gonna get alimony, all proceeds from the house, and sole custody of our kid… no alimony, no sole custody and I will get 50/5…	/r/Divorce_Men	25/04/23 06:13 AM
27	Cautionary tale from affairs subreddit Perfect example of some women’s “logic” take. take, take! I used to think my ex wanted to be fair! She let other hens and her lawyer convince her about how much she is entitled to as well! Of course none of these people knew our financial picture nor did she volunteer that she was technically under employed. Once she moved out her income was on par with mine because she actually had to work her 70 plus/hr job and stop calling out when she didn’t have me or my paycheck to depend on.. Moral is if …	/r/Divorce_Men	25/04/23 02:29 AM
8	Brotherhood is Amazing Lol certainly is hell.. with only a few exceptions that I’ve seen we all want the same things, we may be at different stages in this fight but we all fight nevertheless. I don’t know anyone in this group personally, but I try to read as many stories as I can, at my own lowest point I’ve read stories that gave me hope so I now try to give some to others in return. This honestly is the best support group I’ve ever been a part of!	/r/Divorce_Men	20/04/23 10:22 PM
23	Info: STBX thinks she’s getting $$$ Be careful! watch for lies or other shenanigans that she may conjure up to take from you. When my STBX started talking to lawyers they told her she'd get alimony, cs, etc.. We are both high earners she just legit doesn't want to work, even said in her filings. When reality hit, she decided to try and alienate me from my kid in an effort to maximize cs (the lies and other shenanigans i mentioned). Protect yourself and guard against the bs!	/r/Divorce_Men	19/04/23 05:58 AM
2	The lying Mine has lied to deny me access to our kid, lied to try and move out of state, I don’t believe there has been one filing or interaction she hasn’t lied about something! It used really spin me up that she got away with this stuff, now I just expect it from her. My advice is to screenshot messages and use the parenting apps and do your very best to keep a paper trail.	/r/Divorce_Men	18/04/23 10:49 PM
5	Wife has been having guys over within a month of separation. Get the feeling of disrespect but she is not your problem anymore! I find it helpful to think of my ex like the car project I just never had the time to finish.. Whomever takes it off your hands either invests blood and money restoring it, or they use for parts and junk the rest… Either way it is NEVER YOUR PROBLEM AGAIN!	/r/Divorce_Men	15/04/23 08:13 PM
2	I want to walk but can't leave me 7yr old daughter I filed when my kid was about 4 shortly before reconciling because I too wanted to be there for my kid. Things got better for a short while and guess what she went right back to her old routine of attacking over not just things in the present but wanting to go back and rehash shit from years ago! Every situation is different, but I regret not divorcing the first time because I feel like her conduct is way worse now!	/r/Divorce_Men	11/04/23 10:18 PM
3	Please lord, bring the divorce My wife used to tell everyone how much I hated seeing her upset and that I'd do anything to keep her happy. Now she's telling folks I'm abusive, a liar, and anything else she can think of the justify her vindictive, petty, bs. Her friends and my dragon lady of a mother-in-law loves to have a pity party and have all the other hens join. Not going to say I was always perfect, but I did try to keep her happy. That is until I realized she was just a miserable person and no matter what she'd always h…	/r/Divorce_Men	11/04/23 03:28 AM
5	Please lord, bring the divorce I've come to believe this is just the way women have to do things to justify them shitting on a father that wants to be engaged actively in their child's life. If she told everyone about all the good you are doing it would make folks wonder what was wrong with her. Mine actively says i'm controlling and verbally abusive when in actuality she curses like a sailor and regularly threatens me and talks down to me over our parenting app lol. Stay strong sir, if not for yourself for your kid!	/r/Divorce_Men	11/04/23 03:05 AM
5	Divorces initiated by women vs by men I initiated because I grew tired of the same old fights and arguments (mine would rehash issues from years ago). I realized that no matter how much money I made, what kind of house we had or what life we managed to build she'd always find a way to be miserable and blame me for it. Her mother is exactly the same way and does the same thing to my former father in-law. I can and will tolerate high stress and anxiety brought on by my job, it comes with the territory to earn my paycheck to keep the q…	/r/Divorce_Men	06/04/23 09:42 PM
4	I give up Trust me, I know exactly how you feel! My stbx stopped letting me see our kid as soon as the martial home sold. I’ve been jumping thru hoops for months while she tries to game the system to maximize child support. There are days that I want to give up too, but doing so would ultimately hurt my kid. Think about all your ex’s worst qualities now think of your child adopting all those traits without you being there to help balance them out! I don’t know about yours but mine would not be equipped to…	/r/Divorce_Men	06/04/23 03:52 AM
8	This is why I lurk in the 2X subreddit: Women will reveal how they REALLY feel about divorce when they think no one is watching Agreed!! My lovely ball and chain expected and had been told she was entitled to 2k a month in alimony! We literally make the same hourly rate, both high earners in our professions, and our marriage was under 10 years. She was an idiot for believing the lawyer, the only part that bothers me is that I have to spend money beating back her BS through my lawyer.	/r/Divorce_Men	29/03/23 09:53 PM
1	I won Congratulations!!	/r/Divorce_Men	15/02/23 05:39 PM
2	Thoughts on getting a dog after separation / divorce? Really? Fine… how about it’s a great deal of work…	/r/Divorce_Men	14/02/23 03:03 AM
3	Thoughts on getting a dog after separation / divorce? My daughter had a puppy that I ended up taking during separation and divorce. If I knew 100% that I was gonna file I would never have allowed her to get a dog. A dog is ALOT of work especially if they already have bad habits. While the dog has admittedly been growing on me what kept her with me was my daughters love for her and my stbx twisting me giving up the dog or telling my daughter I don’t care about her, which she has told my daughter before. If you are gonna get a dog would suggest they …	/r/Divorce_Men	14/02/23 02:15 AM
9	For the men who initiated and filed for divorce For me it was three catalysts. During a holiday at the in-laws her mother wished her father dead, like it was nothing and actually meant it based on their back and forth. I finally accepted she was never going to change. We would have times in the marriage things would be calm and we would get along. Then we’d have a disagreement about the kids, money, or something else and i was suddenly defending myself against every gripe or accusation she made over the last decade. I was in my home office an…	/r/Divorce_Men	22/11/22 09:01 PM
2	It’s my birthday. Completely agree! Happy Birthday!	/r/Divorce_Men	22/11/22 07:24 PM
2	Sleep… how? Ah, yea when I said she may kill me someday I meant by giving me a heart attack. She is very much the type that needs to be the center of the universe and had generally made it clear that if she wasn’t happy then none of us could be (she has said that multiple times over the course of our relationship). I don’t think she’d ever try to physically harm me as I’m twice her size but she would absolutely work to manipulate things behind the scenes to cripple me or make me pay a price for tapping out …	/r/Divorce_Men	08/08/22 05:36 PM
2	Sleep… how? No, joint physical and legal. I'm looking for 50/50 officially but will go 45/55 to throw a bone during mediation. I have more flexibility in my profession than my ex, and my kid is with me half the week overnights included. In my case it really depends on what version of my ex that I will see when we get to the formal mediation stage. If I get the one that will apply logic then we will likely be ok. If I get the one riding the emotional wrecking ball, its likely gonna be a knife fight in a phon…	/r/Divorce_Men	08/08/22 03:59 AM
4	Sleep… how? I really believe this is a process for some of us and there are no real shortcuts. As others have said seek guidance both legal and find someone to talk to be it a professional or a friend. Whenever me and my ex would fight I like you couldn’t sleep and would basically obsess over our relationship and marriage.. We both took each other for granted at times, both of us probably said things we shouldn’t to one another. At the end of the day I had been chasing the idea of a great life with this per…	/r/Divorce_Men	07/08/22 03:39 PM
1	Online Divorce Service We have one child between us, each have older children from a different relationship so there are financial obligations beyond the child we share. No support order but prior to reconciling when we went thru this the first time it was roughly about 300 dollars going 60/40. That was a few years back and probably about a 40k income difference at that time.. Both of our incomes have grown significantly over the years. Current support calculations show me paying less than that as I'm not settling for…	/r/Divorce_Men	06/08/22 10:35 PM
2	Online Divorce Service I don’t disagree I’ve actually gone thru this process prior and i did have a lawyer at that point racking up 10k in legal bills only to reconcile for the sake of our kid. I was nervous and a stranger to the divorce process then. My preliminary disclosures are solid, all our assets are accounted for and documented, even the ones she thinks I don’t know about lol. If her response comes from counsel then It will very much be MAD (Mutually assured destruction)	/r/Divorce_Men	06/08/22 03:24 AM
9	Online Divorce Service It’s more of a template process (think TurboTax) in that you fill out the required information and it takes you thru all the steps. I paid for the basic option which allowed me to just fill in my info, I still had to go down to my family law court and file. Think the higher tier packages may be more of a one stop shop. I’ve gone thru step 1 (initial filing) and step 2 (service and preliminary financial disclosures). Of course the ex went a bit off the rails when she found out I actually filed… s…	/r/Divorce_Men	06/08/22 01:10 AM
3	Online Divorce Service HelloDivorce.com was pretty straightforward in my opinion and relatively inexpensive. I’m in CA as well.	/r/Divorce_Men	05/08/22 11:44 PM
7	My wife wants a divorce because different views on spending, am I better off just letting her spend rather than get screwed financially by the divorce anyway? Spot on!!!! Feel for OP but it’s better to cut your losses and get out. If married life has taught me anything, a bad marriage along with a high stress job almost always equals an early death for a man… Screw that!!!!	/r/Divorce_Men	03/08/22 03:38 PM
1	Keep the house or sell it? Going thru separation and divorce right now… This is exactly what I’m doing. House officially goes on the market tomorrow. In the right circumstances (both high earners with only one child we share and each of us have one from a prior relationship) the idea of a clean financial break is appealing.. She may change her mind or start to be resentful later but I’m looking forward to being able to wipe the slate clean and the peace that comes with not having a nagging, overbearing wife that always pl…	/r/Divorce_Men	05/06/22 05:30 PM