~ archived since 2018 ~
~ archived since 2018 ~
| Upvotes | Title | Category | Author | Subreddit | Date (UTC) |
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| Upvotes | Comment on | Subreddit | Date (UTC) |
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| 1 | Was your dad an HVM?Sometimes I wonder if having a HVM skewed dating for me. I just assumed men were automatically like my dad, uncle, grandfather, etc. NOPE. The majority having HVM fathers makes sense because it is such a disillusionment. I've had several scrotes say "I'm not your dad.." when I ask for basic human decency. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 19/12/21 02:21 AM |
| 12 | Men’s Rights and TeachingI talk about how patriarchy harms men. In particular, toxic masculinity and the pressure on boys and men to shy away from showing emotion. The "MRA" bs doesn't seem to qualify any of that. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 26/11/21 03:39 AM |
| 11 | I finally said NO to a narcissistProud of you! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 18/10/21 02:22 AM |
| 46 | Do NOT listen to men when they say richer men don’t care about your educational background or job statusI also think the "elephant in the thread" is that people from privileged backgrounds have a huge leg up. You may work hard at getting a degree or a competitive field, but you're starting from a much, much, different place than the majority of the population. (a huge reason why inequality is so high in countries like the US). An ex of mine truly believed he earned his ivy degree and finance job when in reality his rich parents sent him to feeder boarding schools and he got his job bc of who his f… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 26/09/21 05:51 PM |
| 28 | Do NOT listen to men when they say richer men don’t care about your educational background or job statusIronically one of the reasons I got my MA from the school I did was because of this reason. (Pickme thinking but I loved my area of study) HOWEVER, rich men (even self-made) and I would argue even more so self made- are usually ego driven and selfish. A wealthy man just flew me out to the caribbean after I vetted him and he had all the signs of a HVM. He stayed in a dark room the entire time writing his "memoirs". Yes, he was making 40m a year at a hedge fund- no that does not mean everyone gi… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 26/09/21 05:36 PM |
| 3 | my complicated relationship with beauty attracted LV people. but working through it put me on the path to HV people.I think you were the one who posted yesterday about shorter women. Beauty changes your entire life- I was an average child and then turned into an attractive person. Knowing that you can make heads turn (even in NYC), date powerful men and get them to do what you want, etc. makes me feel powerful. In this way, looking a certain way does pay off- and at a certain point I think women who "lean into" things should not be demonized. Beauty makes you realize how easy people (esp men) are to manipulat… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 09/09/21 10:51 PM |
| 6 | I keep seeing my ex's birthdate as time/angel number 4:44Try looking up the number and reading any advice- maybe there are unresolved issues you need to get through. Regardless, any reminder of an ex always sucks. | /r/askFDS | 09/09/21 10:39 PM |
| 23 | short women. be extra careful about men's "pReFeReNcEs" for your body type.Unpopular but yes you can become a fetish object as a short woman. Likewise, there are creeps who only go for taller women with a model look or long legs. I only know what it is like to be extremely petite but I've learned to love my size- I take no crap from men and give zero F***s. They usually do not anticipate that. Yes, it is dangerous and my parents/everyone/society at large expects me to be meek and submissive as a tiny blonde girl but we only live once- and I am not letting my size hold … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 08/09/21 09:52 PM |
| 10 | HarlotsIronically, many courtesans and mistresses to nobility would retain their roles into middle age (and their deaths) during the 16th-18th century, especially in France. (Marquise de Pompadour, Madame de Maintenon) this goes without saying that there would have likely been other (younger) paramours, but they were not all ceremoniously dumped after 22. Many even met their "partners" after having children in their 30's! It's such a shame we consider anything over the age of 22 "old" now- and harlots … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 25/08/21 04:52 PM |
| 39 | HarlotsYes, and I love this show. Especially the showoff between the madams (Lydia and Margaret) it gets better! The premise is all about women asserting autonomy in any way possible. Remember, "the only power is in money" ~ Margaret Wells Charlotte is my favorite character, I really admire her strength (but also realize so much of what hasn't changed since then). I think libfem pickmes are trying to harken back to a past when courtesans (wealthy, elite, white women) were able to social climb through s… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 25/08/21 02:06 AM |
| 6 | LVM love to complain about high body counts but can’t help talking about how desperately horny they are when you just started talking to them. As if you are supposed to help them fix that.Reminds me of my last OLD adventure- I met a guy from my hometown who was, by all appearances, a great catch. I had a crush on him since I was 15. We go out and after things get hot and heavy he reveals that he has herpes type 2. Like it was no big deal, and if I had any questions I should just "google it." Suffice to say I noped out of that situation and he still called me a prude, accusing me of being "scared" of having sex with him as if something was wrong with me. Like no dude, your last na… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 08/08/21 07:56 PM |
| 1 | “Why are you still single?” And other questions I hate answering"I don't date Trump supporters." or any combo of republican/libertarian bs. The personal is political- to each their own but nearly every LVM I've met and vetted out fell into one of those categories. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 05/07/21 09:33 AM |
| 2 | Rich AH mad that his GF is still poor after she took a second job.No worries- I think him using me as a beard triggers those same feelings, wondering how much he could have actually respected me to treat me that way or think I was dumb enough not to notice that or any of the above red flags. But that is on those LVM, thankfully we get to move forward with our lives! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 29/06/21 09:36 AM |
| 61 | The guy is 55!!! 🤢Happens everyday | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 29/06/21 08:56 AM |
| 2 | Rich AH mad that his GF is still poor after she took a second job.Yeah- he was using me as a beard the whole time so... dodged a bullet there. But I'm not sure where you get off telling me I wasn't good enough? That is not the purpose of this page. We're here to support each other and sometimes laugh at how ridiculous LVM can be. That ex and I looked at rings together and talked about building a house- so there is a lot I'm not sharing. We both have grad degrees from top schools and the house I grew up in is the same size as his, so rest assured he knew he was… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 29/06/21 07:52 AM |
| 14 | FDS is not just about man bashing - it’s looking at your own pick me behaviour too.Thank you both for bringing up really taboo but great points. In my experience, having girlfriends constantly competing and putting me down due to their own insecurities has led to more hurt in my life than dealing with LVM. It's horrible to realize your friend resents you and worse, takes that resentment out on you at the cost of your friendship. Case in point, my friends who are engaged tell me that they "live vicariously through me" and make passive aggressive comments joking that they are je… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 28/06/21 08:51 AM |
| 13 | FDS is not just about man bashing - it’s looking at your own pick me behaviour too.I agree with the above- every time the HVM mask falls in my relationships, I take a look at my own behavior and the place that I'm dating from. HOWEVER, I do think FDS can encourage us to hold ourselves accountable and be a space for stories about LVM (lord knows I have plenty and will probably have more wading through this sea of scrotes). Something kind of unsaid (preparing for downvotes) is that even if you do the work to figure out why you allowed past behavior, how you can better set bounda… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 28/06/21 08:18 AM |
| 15 | Rich AH mad that his GF is still poor after she took a second job.It can be done, but it takes a remarkable amount of grace (from your end- not to become bitter and resentful of the wealthy partner who deems you "worthy" enough to become part of their world). I grew up very well and still found myself resentful or disgusted by the behavior of my wealthy NVM exes (not leaving tips, being "frugal", blatantly trying to buy my affection, etc..) Bonus points if it's clear to everyone involved that he could not have found anyone like you if he did not have that mone… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 28/06/21 07:36 AM |
| 17 | Rich AH mad that his GF is still poor after she took a second job.This reminds me of my exes family SOOOO much- right down to the vacation (which I wasn't invited on- but have fun partying on a yacht during a pandemic). I knew I should have dumped his feeble ass then (my mistake) but he acted cluelessly naive about the whole thing. His family inherited a million dollar + home, parents were doctors but "pull themselves up by the bootstraps" penny pincher types despite the fact that their 31 year old son was languishing at home eating Wendy's daily and depressed… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 28/06/21 07:16 AM |
| 2 | Seeing Ex on OLDIt is honestly a shock when you see them online! But it does help solidify that things were not meant to workout- it killed my attraction after the initial shock. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 17/06/21 04:22 AM |
| 1 | Seeing Ex on OLDThanks sis, I definitely dodged a bullet. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 17/06/21 04:21 AM |
| 23 | Seeing Ex on OLDI feel you- I caught my ex on tinder less than 24 hours after we broke up. He had a photo of us TOGETHER on his profile. What in hell.... It's almost easier not to think about them OLD. We already know men get less matches than women. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 14/06/21 03:38 AM |
| 4 | I Always Wanted to Date a Man I Could Look Up To. It Appears There Aren't Any.So true- and they never want to give you any credit for being smart as well. *gasp* you're just an object to manipulate, how dare you have an opinion! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 11/06/21 03:26 AM |
| 6 | I Always Wanted to Date a Man I Could Look Up To. It Appears There Aren't Any.I went out with a guy last weekend who was from Appalachia (rural poverty in Kentucky). He went to an Ivy League school and is now in med school- plus he went out of his way to be so nice. I thought this is someone I have a lot of respect for, coming from the bottom like that and achieving so much. Guess what? He was still an AH. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 11/06/21 03:25 AM |
| 5 | “If He Wanted To He Would” and “He’s Just Not That Into You” Still Centers Male Desire: Empowering Alternatives To These PhrasesMany people in relationships toss this around smugly all the time, like "duh, shouldn't you just know"? If my exes wanted to they would have, but THANK GOD they didn't. I might be in the minority here (doubt it though) in that my exes all had glaring flaws, loads of misogyny, resentments stemming from identity issues, etc., that they took out on me. Despite the perks, (money, last name, talent, intelligence, "chemistry", looks, you name it)- I am thankful that it did not work out with any of the… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 29/05/21 10:05 AM |
| 14 | Beauty is like a social exchange. I don’t like it.I teach my students about this phenomenon, it's called self-objectification! Great quote which outlines how patriarchy is structural (and just how ingrained it is in our everyday lives). | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 04/05/21 03:03 AM |
| 1 | Black women of FDS (mixed-race women can chime in too): How do you feel about the "swirler" movement?Ugh such a similar experience I'm sorry to hear that- I agree non Jewish women can be seen as non-starters. I would also like to add I know some evangelical Christian men who are batshit crazy and have problematic views as well, religion has really done a number on our society. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 18/02/21 04:02 AM |
| 1 | Black women of FDS (mixed-race women can chime in too): How do you feel about the "swirler" movement?I was living in Boston haha but still grew up in a very Jewish area. I'm holding out hope that there are definitely Jewish HVM out there! I don't want to rule anyone out but at the same time all of this BS is infuriating. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 18/02/21 04:00 AM |
| 3 | Black women of FDS (mixed-race women can chime in too): How do you feel about the "swirler" movement?Wth I'm sorry that happened to you- he should have boycotted and stayed home with you! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 16/02/21 09:28 AM |
| 3 | Black women of FDS (mixed-race women can chime in too): How do you feel about the "swirler" movement?I'm really sorry to hear that- my best friend is Jewish and she's dating some Australian white trash who makes shitty comments about it, she puts him in his place but I still can't understand why he would pull such shitty behavior besides the fact he's an ignorant racist. This may not be PC but I keep getting used by Jewish guys and my friend tells me it's not because I'm not Jewish but because of some other reason- yet time and time again it comes up, "I can only be with a Jewish girl seriously… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 16/02/21 09:17 AM |
| 48 | I hate that we always have to expect the worst of them.I needed this today- honestly, the second woman's advice rings so true and I wish someone had sat me down and told me that. Most people have no idea about the levels of deception and depravity men will go through to get an attractive woman. Thanks for posting. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 12/02/21 07:51 AM |
| 8 | There is no Dream GirlI'm getting reported as male? I noted in my last comment I couldn't respect him and that could be why but I wouldn't wish a partner like him on anyone- there are always strings attached. He would say I was the only thing he's ever actually "earned" or his greatest accomplishment. Totally like an object always rushing to introduce me to people, it was embarrassing. The backlash came after all of the vacations and dates saying that he went out of his way and I never appreciated him. Then he would … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 26/01/21 03:46 AM |
| 117 | There is no Dream GirlThis is great- I've been the 'dream girl' with a guy who would literally sleep on the floor and act like my slave. It was unattractive. He had treated his exes much differently and would routinely praise me and thank god he could get someone like me. Eventually, I wore him down by not 'appreciating him' and I was devalued as well. I think its true men have a 'certain type' they have always sought after, and if they happen to find someone who fits that type they will do almost anything for them. … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 25/01/21 11:09 PM |
| 28 | Anyone else notice this?This happened to me in my last relationship- he was always ordering me cookies and food then teasing me about gaining weight. I think I gained two pounds and he started saying that I had a stomach meanwhile he became even more overweight. He acted like he loved making sure he was taking care of me by ordering me food, taking me out etc. but it was all just a form of control. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 04/11/20 09:38 AM |
| 3 | In a tough situation? You are still an FDS womanHey friend, you sound a little bitter. I know I accused you of being a boomer earlier but now it seems you are just a nonsensical 31 year old. I'm happy that life has given you these opportunities- but don't be so quick to judge others. At 24 I have a master's degree and I am currently teaching at a nearby university. That does not make me better or "smarter" than anyone else. No matter how much money you have now- you could lose it all tomorrow due to circumstances beyond your control. My famil… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 03/11/20 09:35 AM |
| 1 | In a tough situation? You are still an FDS womanMy ex is a big law attorney who made a very convincing case for his apt now being "unsafe," maybe I shouldn't have been so quick to judge. Also, you seem to be trolling my posts so thank you for the attention. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 03/11/20 09:08 AM |
| 10 | I called myself hot and a man said I was being conceitedThis is great advice. My nvm toxic dating cycle usually starts with them asking me "do you know how pretty you are?" then I act humble and feign ignorance so I don't come off as conceited. As time goes on they begin to resent me more and more for the way I look and the attention that comes with it, so they start putting me down. They accuse me of manipulating them into doing things they wouldn't normally do and shame me for not "appreciating their efforts" warning that I'm going to lose my value… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 03/11/20 03:02 AM |
| 13 | I called myself hot and a man said I was being conceitedMy exes always pulled similar lines about complimenting me. Something about "losing its effect"- I would love to know what PUA internet website they found this trash advice from so that I could learn how to avoid it in the future. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 03/11/20 02:54 AM |
| 12 | I called myself hot and a man said I was being conceitedMy exes always tried to "prove" I wasn't *that* attractive and that they get with attractive girls all the time, so I better not pull any shit on them because of my appearance. They would brag about going out with models, when I looked up the cam girls/insta models they were referring to after our dates I would choke with laughter. One kept saying that if I acknowledged how pretty I was then it would "go away" and my personality would ruin my attractiveness. Others would tear me down and say tha… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 03/11/20 02:47 AM |
| 7 | In a tough situation? You are still an FDS womanI would also like to add that living at home due to circumstances beyond our control is frustrating as hell- and that it's normal and okay to feel that way. I'm lucky to be close to my family, but my mother is extremely critical and it has been difficult at times to be living here. My parents are high risk so there is not much I can do about going out now that the weather is changing- I would never forgive myself if I got them sick. I lived on my own in a large city before moving back home to th… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 03/11/20 02:20 AM |
| 2 | Man to avoid: the insecure narcissistSorry for your similar experiences! It's crazy how there are so many similarities between narcs. Guess which nyc insecure narc came crawling out of the sewer after the city shut down? I thought I had him blocked on everything but my ex left a teary voicemail saying that I ruined his life with my "cruelty". It's seriously scary how they turn things around and convince themselves of things that are so far from reality. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 26/10/20 07:06 AM |
| 20 | What's your mAlE FemInISt story?The woke Boston "bro" who took me to the esplanade for a picnic date right before covid hit. He was espousing all of his liberal beliefs in "feminism" but then got irrationally angry and started blowing up my phone after I went home because I didn't have sex with him on the first date. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 25/10/20 10:58 PM |
| 42 | You don't need to beat yourself up if some man didn't want youTHIS. I'm sick of getting played by manipulative assholes and then everyone telling me "if he wanted to, he would" when I was beating myself up bc they weren't texting me. It makes it seem like it's our fault because we weren't "the one" when these men are just out to play the field and see who they can sleep with. God forbid you are out of a guys league so he lies about wanting a relationship to hook up with you and then proceeds to play games with your head. No, the problem is just that you we… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 25/10/20 10:33 PM |
| 30 | From advice, at least they feel bad but who the hell is this deranged to do this?Lying right off the bat- when you are blackout drunk you cannot even type a functional sentence. Maybe you can string some thoughts together but it will be so riddled with typos that it makes no sense to anyone. What is more likely- he was crushing on this woman and became drunk enough to consider the "risk" of him revealing his thoughts about her was worth it. His drunk ass probably thought he was being cheeky and got excited about sending this to her because maybe she might even be into it too… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 25/10/20 09:35 PM |
| 1 | Have you noticed this distinct hypocrisy in men?No joke that is exactly what happened in my last relationship- except the new guy turned out to be a massive dick. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 25/10/20 08:57 PM |
| 31 | Have you noticed this distinct hypocrisy in men?My exes always accused me of cheating and one routinely called me a wh*re. I was faithful to him completely until I caught his ass trying to cheat on me via chaturbate and omegle. There is definitely something to the projection part of it- like we're not fully people to them so we only exist to mirror what they see in themselves. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 25/10/20 04:42 AM |
| 20 | I'm not sure if this belongs here. This is so disgusting!This is actually so true and has happened in so many of my relationships (I'm a WF). I'm ashamed at the way my exes (AM) made me feel in comparison to Asian women- growing up I had a strong Asian female role model who took no sh*t from men. When my NVM ex met her of course he said she was ugly, rude, and the exception to Asian women. (?) He made a terrible impression on her as well and she told me to dump him LOL. My ex (AM) told me (WF) that my race was a "liability" and that I would never age … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 22/10/20 08:45 AM |
| 35 | Free porn and tons of other ways men can see a woman's body (stripping, escorts) and its still not enough. They trade deep fake nudes of regular women. #pornsicklimpdickThis actually really scares me in regards to dating apps. Like, any guy could take a screenshot of your profile, create a "nude" and ruin your life? | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 20/10/20 09:52 PM |
| 21 | So many bitter men over the age of 24I don't want to be cynical but when I was in my early 20's most men I found in undergrad were more interested in going out and getting laid. (Same if they had a gf by the way) So the choice seemed to be either have a bf who cheats on you or be single. This for the vast majority of guys at my undergrad. With my exes, the immaturity was pathetic and disgusting. I also know I wouldn't have grown as a person if I had stayed with any of my undergrad bfs. Now that I'm 24 and seeing some of these colle… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 20/10/20 07:56 PM |
| 17 | I Tried Femdom And It Was Nowhere Near As "Empowering" As The BDSM Community Would Have You BelieveYeah, this was seriously scary and I woke up with bruises everywhere. There is no way in hell I would see him again. Also lol at the dominant talk stuff, he was definitely insecure and overcompensating. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 20/10/20 07:49 PM |
| 45 | Always look into a man’s background before meeting them like this (it’s free):Excellent!! This is a serious topic but I would also like to add a humorous anecdote. Before I go out with a guy I search for his name, address, social media, background, etc. but now I'm considering googling his close family as well. My date last weekend told me his family was involved with white collar crime in the Mafia. (lmao the mafia does not have a large presence in my city, giveaway #1) His family actually went bankrupt after someone stole an inheritance. Besides the fact that he is a to… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 20/10/20 05:32 AM |
| 19 | I Tried Femdom And It Was Nowhere Near As "Empowering" As The BDSM Community Would Have You BelieveThis may be unpopular but I had a guy begging me to "dominate him". He was a closeted bisexual with extreme feelings of self-loathing. Before you feel bad he was a complete assh*le with no regard for how other people think and feel. Also, I believe he resented his high-powered career and wanted to feel like he was being subjugated for once. This type is actually very common with men I know who are in finance, big law, or any similar industry. Think "wolf of wall street" they're chasing that fant… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 20/10/20 05:15 AM |
| 117 | I Tried Femdom And It Was Nowhere Near As "Empowering" As The BDSM Community Would Have You BelieveMy theory is that porn has destroyed intimacy in favor of a manufactured "fantasy" that we think will bring us fulfillment but leaves us feeling more unfulfilled than ever, chasing the next "high". I thought it was just in my generation (I'm 24) but it seems to be nearly everyone with access to the internet. Almost every guy I've met has ED, "daddy" issues, or likes to choke women out in bed. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 20/10/20 05:09 AM |
| 37 | I Tried Femdom And It Was Nowhere Near As "Empowering" As The BDSM Community Would Have You BelieveTHIS- I've recently encountered both sides of the spectrum and they are each dehumanizing. That being said, the female "submissive" requirements of being called a "f*cktoy" and all of the other mental and physical anguish is so damaging. I recently had one of the worst nights of my life with *unbeknownst to me* a wannabe "dom" or whatever. He turned from a caring, nice guy into a total monster. I don't understand why BDSM has become so mainstream when it is so incredibly and obviously damaging p… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 20/10/20 05:04 AM |
| 4 | Own your sorrowIn my state, there is virtually no hope. Things like this happen to my friends and me way too often (esp in college when we were younger) and in my experience when you try to go to the police they always say there isn't enough "evidence". Thanks for your message though<3 I should have known better given his "type" (former fraternity guy and now works in banking) but I was naive to believe the things he was saying and thought he was a "good" guy like so many of my friend's boyfriends from the sam… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 19/10/20 04:09 AM |
| 9 | Own your sorrow"I feel sorrow that no matter how 'good' and 'beautiful' and 'accomplished' I may be, it is more likely to make me look like a 'conquest' and 'target' rather than someone to care for in return" That's the depressing truth- women are always told they're never enough and that "beautiful" women should never admit to themselves they are beautiful- otherwise it will "go away" (words of my nvm ex) I'm also a highly sensitive person and am extremely empathetic. The guy I was seeing most recently consta… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 19/10/20 12:48 AM |
| 17 | Men Will Always Make You Pay For Their ShortcomingsThis reminds me so much of a nasty ass ER doctor I went out with a month ago. He bragged about "flirting with his patients" and I replied that they may not take it as flirting. Like, are men so clueless that they can't see the traps they set for themselves? Sorry to hear about your expiriences | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 16/10/20 07:13 AM |
| 5 | Easiest way to get to know how shitty a man is?I second this completely- too many men have been rabid Trump supporters. I always try to work that into the conversation and it's amazing how much of a turn off it is. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 11/10/20 09:17 AM |
| 6 | How to date men less smart than youThe mark of any reasonably intelligent person is the capacity to admit that there are many, many people who are smarter than they are out there. If you can find a "smart" man who abides by that principle and his actions match that- then he is HV. I also go for smart men and have dated several that were extremely "academically" impressive. My favorite "smart" LVM was the Harvard physics professor who looked like a thumb and couldn't hold a decent conversation to save his life. I enjoy the kinds o… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 30/09/20 06:52 AM |
| 3 | How do I deal with my exes treating their new girlfriends better than they treated me?Okay so I've been on the other side of this recently (been on both sides though) and I'll tell you how it really is. My ex bragged to me that I was so much better than his exes and would do all kinds of things for me that were rediculous and insane (sleeping on the floor, paying for everything, taking me on expensive trips, meeting his family when his other "serious" gfs never did) Guess what? I wasn't "appreciative enough" (his words) of everything he did and he started comparing me to his exes… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 28/09/20 09:25 AM |
| 21 | Can We Tell The Truth About Plastic Surgery?Don't forget the eyelash extensions that you can spot from a mile away- I've never understood that trend. It makes your eyes look a fraction of the size while destroying your natural lashes, not to mention the shedding making these girls look crazy eyes. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 28/09/20 08:30 AM |
| 19 | Can We Tell The Truth About Plastic Surgery?Yes, I had a psycho surgeon ex-bf who started critiquing my "measurements" saying that "the arms are too muscular for the body" after I had started working out. Idk what the hell that means, but I dumped him shortly after. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 28/09/20 08:27 AM |
| 9 | Can We Tell The Truth About Plastic Surgery?Something a celebrity said once really stood out to me: "I wasn't born beautiful, I made myself beautiful." TBH I've lived by that and it has brought on more pain than I could imagine. Chasing attractiveness turns into abuse towards yourself to maintain your looks, from other people (women) who will despise you for them, and from men who will want to use and discard you like a trophy object. I had plastic surgery when I was 16 and I have to say it did help my confidence, see my post about the wa… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 28/09/20 08:24 AM |
| 9 | My experience as a 33 old woman on Tinder - The wall is a lieHonestly, you're completely right. He definitely has tried negging me the entire time I've known him- and he has a parade of women after him because he has a certain last name. It's gross. Another woman threw herself at him right in front of me after our dinner date too. The age difference is too much for me, he has so much more life experience it's crazy. I was basically persuaded to give him another chance based on who he is but regardless he's a total loser. I was shocked and surprised after … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 25/09/20 11:54 PM |
| 10 | My experience as a 33 old woman on Tinder - The wall is a lieI'm sorry you went through that<3 idk why scrotes are so hellbent on dragging women down | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 25/09/20 08:06 PM |
| 70 | My experience as a 33 old woman on Tinder - The wall is a lieCan definitely confirm this- I had a date with a 37-year-old last weekend and he told me that I was "getting old" turning 25 in a few months. I then asked how old he was and he got pissed. So many red flags. I've spent too much time terrified about getting older based on ugly (usually much older I might add) scrotes telling me my value is going down by the years. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 25/09/20 07:58 PM |
| 2 | Literally, the audacity!So he's from one of the wealthiest families in my state and he's not shy at all about making it known. He told me on our first date. Every time we go somewhere (I live in a smallish city) people who know him literally kiss his ass for no reason- he is always awkward and plays up the nerdy doctor card. We were leaving dinner, walking through the stairway in the parking garage and as he opened the door for me another woman (who looked kinda like me I might add) comes up right behind me and squeals… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 25/09/20 07:43 PM |
| 17 | Literally, the audacity!Would like to add that even when you date a rich guy 99% of the time they are LV and secretly hate/ resent you for being with them due to their own insecurities (thinking that you only want their money) so every outing they pay for turns into "my insert/female friend/mother/sister says you only take advantage of me!!! Bonus points if the expensive activity was his idea and he knew you couldn't afford it. Also would like to add his pickmeisha friends will stop at nothing to convince him you're ju… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 25/09/20 08:12 AM |
| 5 | South Korea's Low Birthrate and the Sampo GenerationMy East Asian LVM ex's used to call me "slave" as a nickname, everytime I would call them out they would say they were just "kidding" but who does that?? | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 25/09/20 07:55 AM |
| 9 | I went undercover on tinder. Newsflash: 95% of them only want sexI think your last paragraph is the best point to make. I started using Hinge after a friend found her fiance from the app- literally, all I got were awkward scrotes that said they wanted to date or marry me in the future/ be serious within the first month or two (newsflash- after hooking up these "relationships" usually fell off completely or turned into FWB) I'm so sick of dating apps. I have no clue how people I know meet on apps and actually "click" and end up together. The last time I clicke… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 25/09/20 05:55 AM |
| 1 | I Don’t Want To Date An American GuyBeware of the entitled white "bros" I was reading an article on vox about MRA and incel culture and it actually described most of my exes to a T!!! These misogynists can be cute, well put together guys who are educated, with their own apartments, and successful jobs. However, the minute you start feeling his resentment/anger seethe towards you for no apparent reason you've met another basic white guy with an entitlement problem. I think Europe is more individualistic, my time in Europe was spent… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 23/09/20 12:00 AM |
| 27 | Any of you found a HVM with COVID and lockdowns?I honestly thought that I did when I met someone else who had to move home unexpectedly also. He was kind, always drove 40+ minutes to see me, planned out thoughtful dates, was well educated etc, etc. Well after 2 months of being "exclusive" I follow him on insta (he doesn't post so he only has followers) Low and behold he was two-timing me with a single mom who was 33 with 2 kids. She was posting about him being like "Christmas in July" and had multiple photos of them together (he wasn't tagged… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 22/09/20 04:57 AM |
| 14 | Makes me 😤 to see a gorgeous queen put in effort for date night while her man does the absolute leastUgh dating in Boston was a total dumpster fire of elitism and entitlement- idk what it is about that city (it's such a nice place to live, so beautiful but so full of emotionally unavailable workaholics) Thanks for sharing- that would make me so uncomfortable and especially seems so disrespectful to you! In what world do you spring impromptu hikes on people who are in heels? Men don't seem to understand women's fashion and all of the work that can go into putting a look together- but they're alw… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 22/09/20 04:41 AM |
| 293 | Think about it from his perspectiveThis rings so true- we need to think carefully about how lvm operate in the world. One of the last guys I went out with pre-covid complimented me and I told him how happy it made me feel- he responded okay cool, it's a good line (wtf??) I called him out and said now you know it works on other women too and he laughed. I turned what would have been a coffee date into dinner at a nice restaurant outside last night after telling my date I don't do coffee dates. Right away he tells me he's looking t… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 22/09/20 04:34 AM |
| 4 | Pick your friends CAREFULLY!I think you're onto something with the grad school atmosphere too- academia is too often toxic and extremely petty and competitive. My field is mostly women and after I moved to a new city to start a grad program the other women I met and the few I "befriended" always had a low key competitive streak. My friends from that time sound a lot like the two you describe, I thought we were bonding deeply, not on a superficial level like so many friends I had in undergrad. However, the women in the depa… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 22/09/20 03:39 AM |
| 37 | Wow. This is sad.Thank you for clearing up this issue! A decent man might appreciate you offered to pay- but lvm are just looking to get laid the cheapest way possible. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 22/09/20 01:24 AM |
| 30 | Makes me 😤 to see a gorgeous queen put in effort for date night while her man does the absolute leastReminds me of my embarrassing ex showing up to my college graduation party with nasty unwashed hair and wrinkly clothes. My mom's friends were literally pissed and called him out for it. The pickme I was knew he looked atrocious but didn't want to admit to myself that he didn't actually care. (I finally dumped him after he sh*t his pants in public) | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 22/09/20 01:15 AM |
| 109 | Makes me 😤 to see a gorgeous queen put in effort for date night while her man does the absolute leastReminds me of my pickme days when I wore lululemon and "cute" workout clothes to go for a walk by the Charles river- my dates always criticized me for wearing "workout clothes" instead of a sundress, like bitch we are walking in the dirt? If you want an outdoor activity I'll dress like it. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 22/09/20 01:12 AM |
| 4 | "Develop lives outside the male gaze" - really good analysis of how ultimately futile the battle to prove yourself worthwhile in a misogynistic framework that only values women for their youth and beauty isThanks for your comment <3 Being "smart" and conventionally attractive is a hell of its own, I blame myself for falling into this desperate, unsustainable trap (mostly for recognizing it but not wanting to give it up and deriving my self worth from my looks) - my grad school advisor treated me like a dumb sorority girl despite the fact that I consistently earned the best grades in my class. I saw other women treated better and as more "intellectual" because of the way they presented themselves (… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 21/09/20 01:48 PM |
| 8 | "Develop lives outside the male gaze" - really good analysis of how ultimately futile the battle to prove yourself worthwhile in a misogynistic framework that only values women for their youth and beauty isI was reflecting on my life choices today and figured out the greatest irony- I changed my appearance to match what I considered to be the "ideal" and wasn't loved or cherished, instead I continue to be treated like trash and ignored in a different way (used as a trophy then discarded) than in my nerdy youth. I was always a dork growing up, short, brown hair, glasses, mostly friends with boys. When the boys started excluding me at the end of elementary school I became super feminine. I saw how t… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 21/09/20 09:26 AM |
| 10 | Every woman - friend / roommate / acquaintance I’ve ever known who‘s looked through a man’s phone(s) or device has always had their suspicions confirmed. Trust your gut and don’t let anyone shame you for doing so.Just went through my SO's instagram and found out he was two timing me with a 33 year old single mom with 2 kids. (we're both 24) She posted about him being like "Christmas in July". When I confronted him with the posts he just laughed. I looked the next day and the posts on her page about him were gone. Idk what's worse- the fact that he came over for a family dinner and potentially exposed all of us to covid because he lied about who he was interacting with, or the fact that this 33 year old w… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 20/09/20 08:38 AM |
| 1 | Incels new chart about women.Reminds me so much of what my 65-year-old thesis advisor meant when he said that "everyone fit into a type" like isn't that how racists/misogynists conceptualize the world? | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 19/09/20 09:11 PM |
| 19 | They don’t even try to hide how vile they are. They just tell on themselves.He can enjoy it when his younger woman cheats behind his back with guys her own age. Take it from experience, this "experiment" usually does not end well. The joke is always on the guys thinking that their younger and more attractive partners won't revel in male attention and leave them behind once a better option comes along. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 13/09/20 07:21 PM |
| 1 | My former Pickme Self Nudes .. a question? I can’t be alone in this...Okay, this is seriously shameful and you need to reevaluate. I shared an experience of being ASSAULTED and your response was like saying "sour grapes". You implying I'm not a HVW because I was taken advantage of is disgusting to me and I don't understand how this behavior is tolerated on this sub, which is supposed to be a supportive atmosphere. In case your reading glasses are too blurry to comprehend- the photos were taken WITHOUT my consent. If you have any other "ruthless strategy" then take… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 12/09/20 09:18 AM |
| 2 | My former Pickme Self Nudes .. a question? I can’t be alone in this...I think you bring up some really good points, esp for people who haven't sent anything. However, many of us (esp younger women) have been groomed on internet sites like Omegle since we were old enough to use the internet. We've grown up around porn and third wave pop feminism that teaches us to value ourselves based on our sex appeal. We're completely surrounded by oversexualized images of women on social media, tv, etc. Teenage boys and men who freely send nudes and then play all kinds of games… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 11/09/20 04:14 PM |
| 2 | Is it just me or do ugly men just generally treat you horribly or worse?He felt the need to DM me, I still don't understand what that actually means bc he tried to convince me it was a good thing. I'm blocking his ass though, not worth it! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 08/09/20 04:18 AM |
| 34 | When FDS opens your eyes and you're free!Peep the circle of pickme's who turn around and give her side eyes as she walks by 👀 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 07/09/20 08:33 PM |
| 1 | The audacity these men have. Haven’t even gone out with him and already pulling the attitude card. Fair to say I will be cancelingHarvard men are the worst! I fell into that trap way too soon after moving. What is it about Harvard guys who look like Shrek with ED thinking that they are God's gift to women? I think so many of them were insecure deep down and resented the fact that a girl could actually be interested in them as a person- so they just accuse girls of being golddiggers even though all they have to offer most of the time is "potential". The irony that so many of the HBS guys I met who were total douchebags are … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 07/09/20 08:22 PM |
| 5 | Is it just me or do ugly men just generally treat you horribly or worse?I just posted a swimsuit picture on social media and my ugly boy du jour commented and called it a "thirst trap". Now I feel shit about it which was definitely not needed. This guy is not cute- people would stare and give us extra attention/free things on our dates because they thought we were "so cute together" still though apparently I'm not good enough for him? The cycle is always he says something mean, insists I misunderstood him, and then gets annoyed at me for being upset. I always fall f… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 07/09/20 08:17 PM |
| 23 | The audacity these men have. Haven’t even gone out with him and already pulling the attitude card. Fair to say I will be cancelingRight away I'm not surprised, welcome to dating in Boston- men there have a special kind of rudeness and arrogance. I was in school there recently and dating men 20's-early 30's also in grad school or Biotech/Finance/STEM fields. The city is basically a bunch of men who were losers in high school and resent women because they were too big of a nerd to get with anyone before moving to Boston for school or "high powered" careers. I've never felt worse about myself after dating/existing in that cit… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 06/09/20 08:25 PM |
| 6 | This comment on r / teenagers..girl is disturbed both brother and dad watch rough anal pornography :((Question: I met someone who was obsessed with anal and so I tried the whole what if I do it to you and he eventually asked me to f*ck him with a strapon. He was deadly serious- does someone wanting that kind of thing mean he is bisexual? I got major gay vibes from him when we met but we had great chemistry until this came up. He also gets off on being "dominated". Absolutely nothing against being bi but when I asked him if he ever disclosed these preferences to anyone he said no. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 05/09/20 10:48 PM |
| 40 | Some will say it’s just because of « biOLoGy », I think it also has to do with misogynyI'm so sick of biology being used as an excuse for misogyny. It's no secret that men dominate STEM fields, similarly male historians are highly valued voices of reason just like in other parts of academia. I've seen women use the biological excuse many times as well. It's almost like a cultural thinking trap to blame bs like men discriminating against women based on their age as part of a "biological preference" rather than learned behavoir- because god forbid we acknowledge the role of patriarc… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 05/09/20 07:01 AM |
| 18 | Me putting one of my male friends in his place (in South Korea and guys often joke like this, and I have none of it).This post really reminds me of my LVM exes lol they always tried this passive-aggressive type b.s. and it elevated into calling me their "slave". I think little jokes like this reveal how much misogyny is part of everyday life, anywhere, and even though guys may have good intentions there is still misogynistic thinking behind some of their expectations. Of course, with my exes, it was all joking haha I love you so much you're just my little slave- when I called them out they usually would say it… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 05/09/20 06:45 AM |
| 4 | LVM bamboozled me into a shit date where i starved and froze to deathI almost froze to death in the freezing winter in Boston on a date last December. My date took me by the river and proceeded to get lost trying to find the restaurant. It was windy as f*ck. It felt like ice was whipping my face and I'll never forget. By the way, he was bragging about his Canada goose coat keeping him warm and I was so cold I was shaking. This was my birthday dinner before coming home for the holidays. So fun, so memorable /s. We ultimately walked around for 30 minutes trying to … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 04/09/20 06:38 AM |
| 11 | Cracks me up EVERY time.TBH one of my Asian exes shit himself in public and had the WORST hygiene I've ever seen in my life. (despite being in med school) not counting his crazy, I do agree there are different cultural standards for East Asian men vs Western men in regards to appearances. I was actually thinking today about how masculinity can differ based on cultural expectations, and how dating as an Asian guy in the US could be completely different than in Asia, etc. However. Something deeply disturbing to me about … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 02/09/20 05:44 AM |
| 13 | My parents had a traditional marriage. Everything was in her name. My uncles give their salary to their wives who do the family finances. I feel like most ‘traditional men’ nowadays don’t intent to stay with their SAH wives ‘till death do us part’ considering how they react to such a proposal.Exactly the arrangement my parents have, and I think my dad is relieved he doesn't take care of the finances and the overall household. Every time I brought up this arrangement to my exes they laughed in my face. It really cemented the fact that they saw money as a form of control. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 27/08/20 05:50 PM |
| 4 | Filthy ex boyfriendsHaha good point- I could never reconcile his horrible hygiene and the fact that he was going to be a medical professional. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 26/08/20 06:53 PM |
| 21 | Filthy ex boyfriendsGirl yes we were at a tiny shithole restaurant where the bathroom was literally three feet away from the only table. He disappears for like 15 minutes and comes back with something balled up in his hand, trying to be smooth saying "can you hold onto this for me". I was like no way and I threw them down and said to throw them away. He refused bc they were "nice ones" and put them in his pocket. Every time I think about him and how he was going to be a surgeon, I have to remind myself that he dead… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 26/08/20 07:56 AM |
| 24 | Filthy ex boyfriendsThe disgusting foreskin comment reminds me so much of my NVM ex in college. Ironically, he was in med school and would lord his opinions over me constantly- but he couldn't be bothered to keep up with basic hygiene. He basically refused to clean himself and girl that is the nastiest thing- esp when he showed up at my apartment after not showering for an extended period and expected "things" from me as his gf, hell no. *not for the faint of heart* he said it smelled like me so he didn't feel the … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 26/08/20 07:42 AM |
| 2 | How to stop being insecure about introducing guys to my pretty friend?Yes, I agree that attractive women need all of the friends they can get- girls and women have been unbelievably nasty to me when they felt threatened for male attention. Every time I go out with my group of gfs there are always uncomfortable comments and it can feel like a social minefield. Last weekend I was taking pictures with my college roommates- one girl tells me I look like a Barbie while the other girl in the photo pipes up and says "and I don't??" Like why are we hating on each other ov… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 25/08/20 11:26 PM |
| 7 | Man to avoid: the insecure narcissistIt's scary how similar narcs are- mine presented as a sweet, goofy nerd who looked super innocent so this side was extremely disarming.. if it helps I have been watching Melanie Tonia Evans youtube videos about dealing with narcissists. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 25/08/20 04:36 AM |
| 60 | How to stop being insecure about introducing guys to my pretty friend?I don't think you're being paranoid for no good reason- your friend has been the one throwing around red flags. Attractive girls will go out of their way to make their girlfriends feel at ease with SO's, of course, they shouldn't have to, but any friend worth having will respect you first and foremost. Friends make each other feel good, not shitty about themselves. If you aren't getting what you need from this friendship then it may be time to move on. The fact that she throws around statements … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 25/08/20 04:20 AM |
| 7 | Man to avoid: the insecure narcissistHe was seriously disturbed- I felt bad for him because *TW* his dad was a horrific domestic violence abuser, so every time he was like "I'm a good guy, I do everything right" I was thinking about how hard he worked to overcome his childhood situation. Well, surprise surprise he began mimicking behavior from his childhood, turning on me and attacking me at random moments for "not being on his side." One of my favorite incidents was when we were at a winery in Napa enjoying our day until a group c… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 24/08/20 08:59 PM |
| 3 | Man to avoid: the insecure narcissistThanks for sharing! I'll have to look into that, when I think about our relationship now I was like how did I let that happen but hopefully this will make some sense of it all. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 24/08/20 08:40 PM |
| 23 | How Old Were You When You Learned the Bad Men Weren't an Extreme Minority?I think around 21/22- I started being really rude to random men in bars who would come up and hit on me.Before this age, I was super bubbly and outgoing with guys, somehow a switch happened.. If I didn't like a guy I would go "buh-bye" and wave in his face. Obviously this is absurd and my pick me friends never understood why I wasn't *gasp* falling all over myself for the attention. A few years later I'm still standoffish to men when I've been drinking and I couldn't figure out why or where this… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 24/08/20 08:10 PM |
| 17 | Man to avoid: the insecure narcissistMy ex did something similar and made me out to be the "bad" one after countless manipulations and abuse. Why do they always have to turn it on us? My narc ex recently contacted me and let me know his now ex gf (my replacement) moved to another country and dumped him, but he couldn't figure out why. Maybe because you're toxic AF bro?? I did not let him back in, but it is puzzling how the problem is never "them" in the relationship. He criticized almost everything I did until everything was about … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 24/08/20 09:04 AM |
| 15 | Man to avoid: the insecure narcissistWhy do we assume narcs will always be suave, handsome types coming to sweep you off your feet? This describes my insecure narc ex to a T. He really messed with my sense of self- I still want to believe he is the goofy nerd who wouldn't hurt a fly? Idk what is more hurtful, who he really was vs acknowledging that I couldn't come to terms with the truth. He fooled me and everyone around me. Thank you so much for writing! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 24/08/20 08:57 AM |
| 3 | Any stories about how toxic exes are doing years after?Most psycho one failed the bar exam (so he can't move up in his job) also, his gf up and moved to another country then proceeded to dump him. Other ones gained a significant amount of weight (ironic because they would body shame me for not being "toned" and try to control my workouts) Pre FDS they would orbit me and still have the same shit personality traits (putting me down, arrogance, etc.) Idc what anyone says, there is a sweet satisfaction knowing that my exes fared worse after the breakup.… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 24/08/20 07:49 AM |
| 6 | Are men that ONLY date outside their own race automatically LVMs?This is tricky, and it becomes more complicated when considering who is dating out and why. I saw a post on here about how men only dating outside of their race was a red flag. You don't mention his race and I don't want to assume but I can mainly write about my experiences with white men (if this would be helpful) most of this applies to men of other races too though. Speaking of white men in particular here are some red flags I've noticed: White men, especially when dating out, should be sensi… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 24/08/20 04:05 AM |
| 6 | After a lady ranted about low quality men, a man proceeded to suggest she give up her high paying job and nice apartment to attract better men.This is par for the course for many people in the south and the midwest. Even if they won't admit it, being a successful woman is a problem. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 24/08/20 03:34 AM |
| 5 | After a lady ranted about low quality men, a man proceeded to suggest she give up her high paying job and nice apartment to attract better men.Sounds like another day in the bible belt. After I found out I was going to graduate school, one of my roommates said "grad degrees are a waste of time and money for women, there's really no point if they're just going to end up staying home." Like thank you for the encouragement, sis /s TW This is the same one who invited her boyfriend's frat brother over for drinks and after he assaulted me said that I should "chalk it up to a win" based on how attractive he was | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 24/08/20 03:32 AM |
| 5 | Reminder: Jealousy is a low-value traitThis is so true! I feel like in western cultures jealousy in relationships is the elephant in the room. I don't know why women are so encouraged to judge and tear each other down for male attention, but the minute a woman complains about other people being jealous of her she is automatically labeled "delusional" or "crazy." I've heard so many guys (American) say that a woman is pretty until she realizes how pretty/hot/attractive she is- then she loses it immediately after recognizing how attract… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 21/08/20 04:51 AM |
| 2 | Reminder: Jealousy is a low-value traitYES- I spent my entire college experience downplaying myself because of female jealousy and all of the problems that came along with it. I thought if I put myself down jokingly, tried to be more vulnerable, etc. I could hopefully assuage my jealous friends and roommates (who mainly defined themselves by their looks). This may have worked in the short term, but these same "friends" seem to enjoy when things aren't going well for me and I'm the one reaching out for help. It's almost like they get … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 21/08/20 03:46 AM |
| 7 | Sums it up pretty wellMen continue to perpetuate misogyny and sexism because they want to. Even when they may not recognize their behavior as sexism, their sheer ignorance and defensive posturing when problematic thinking is called out prove this. *Trigger warning* I was reading about Michael Jackson's past and apparently a close friend finally worked up the courage to ask why he invited young children to his "sleepovers" and said with so much at stake, why don't you stop? He said, "I don't want to." I think this rea… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 21/08/20 02:57 AM |
| 8 | "She cheated on him, omg what a b*tch!" vs "He cheated on her, yeah well ALL/MOST men cheat"I don't want to invalidate your experiences but something I've struggled with as I get further into adulthood is the realization of just how common cheating is. It is far more common than I would have realized- I previously conceptualized cheating as isolated incidents with particularly LVM. However, this behavior happens far too often and in far too many parts of our society. I have a diverse friend group from a pretty wide range of backgrounds and nearly all of us have been cheated on at one p… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 16/08/20 05:40 AM |
| 4 | "She cheated on him, omg what a b*tch!" vs "He cheated on her, yeah well ALL/MOST men cheat"Thank you for your reply! People honestly couldn't fathom why I would treat my exes that way when they knew about their prior betrayals and bad behavior. Especially other women who would try to "tell" on me as if my exes were innocent bystanders. You're right the relationship is broken when one party cheats and the best high-value response is to walk away. However, when things get messy in real life men seem to get a pass while women are demonized for cheating. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 16/08/20 04:52 AM |
| 4 | "She cheated on him, omg what a b*tch!" vs "He cheated on her, yeah well ALL/MOST men cheat"I'm so sorry this happened to you! Please know that you're not alone- your post really opened my eyes to my situation and the way my ex made me feel. Ironic how we're the terrible ones when they are literal monsters. Edit: my abuser would say little things and almost encourage me to cheat on him during our relationship, ie. I know you could easily find someone better than me by just going to a bar etc.. I wonder if an abusive pattern is to "dare" someone to do something that is so detrimental to… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 16/08/20 04:45 AM |
| 21 | "She cheated on him, omg what a b*tch!" vs "He cheated on her, yeah well ALL/MOST men cheat"THIS. Situations are rarely ever black and white, and obviously the stakes are much higher if you are married, with kids or significantly reliant on your SO. Many times I wonder if the people on Reddit who condemn cheaters right off the bat as subhuman and incapable of change have ever been in a relationship themselves. Most people (especially younger) have been in "grey" area situations, on dating apps, texting exes, snapchats, checking up on people, and contacting them. It's so easy now. But n… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 15/08/20 08:53 PM |
| 34 | Hm interesting 😐White men by far have the most entitlement in my experience. The entitlement comes from claiming that WOC would kill to date them just because they're white- so I should be grateful being with them when they could "get anyone". Right- at least in the U.S. white men can be unbearable sometimes, the majority of the time they won't admit to this pattern of thinking though. It's incredibly ingrained in our society and incredibly offensive. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 13/08/20 10:17 PM |
| 14 | What originally attracted you to your LVM/NVM ex?This sounds shallow but all of the opportunities he offered me... status, events, trips, etc. Access to a world that I wouldn't have ever been able to imagine (think gossip girl). Yes, this is extremely shallow and superficial. I try not to blame myself as a then 22-year-old living in a big city for the first time, and getting caught up in everything I thought it had to offer. Also, the fact that he was extremely intelligent and well educated. Wealthy nvm know how to play the money card when it … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 12/08/20 06:24 AM |
| 7 | Disney movies we grew up withCinderella- if I suffer through enough and strive to look the best I can then a man (handsome +wealthy) will surely come to sweep me off my feet and out of the misery. Mulan was a great movie, I recently watched Mulan 2 and was disturbed by the complete 180 with her character becoming a total pick me. 90s Mulan did have a feminist message but by the early 2000s pop feminism turned her into a more "traditional" submissive princess. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 10/08/20 04:56 AM |
| 9 | How To Be A HVW When You're BROKE?I struggled with this living as a grad student in a huge and expensive city. I hated that I felt like I was surrounded by wealthy people in my program who could constantly afford to go out to eat, drinking (cocktails were at least $15), etc.. Not to mention gym memberships and such. So I relied on my wealthy but nv ex boyfriend for a time to take advantage of all my city had to offer. After we broke up and I realized the toxic money dynamic between us- I really resented relying on guys to pay fo… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 03/08/20 02:10 AM |
| 27 | BLACK PILL PPD TRUTH SERUM TIDBITS ON HOW MEN DISTINGUISH BETWEEN GF/WIFE & FWB MATERIAL...EYE ROLL. NOTHING TO DO WITH BEING A SO-CALLED "NICE /GOOD /LOYAL WOMAN"Okay, what I don't understand about this logic is that the ugly scrotes who I've gone for in the past kept coming around trying to be casual and refused to date. I was objectively out of their leagues physically- this was part of the false logic I used to pick them in the first place (yes I probably sound crazy but I thought they would be grateful to be with a cute girl when they looked like thumbs) I think guys like to blame women when they themselves aren't emotionally available- they like to … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 01/08/20 03:46 AM |
| 17 | LVM Ex ruined my self esteem and body image severely to the point I cryMy ex did the same things it's called "learned helplessness" and it's the most effective way to break down someone's self- esteem. Basically whatever you do, even if you put in your best effort it will never be good enough for them. Men who act this way are super insecure- try asking yourself what he has to be insecure about/ his shortcomings despite being a horrible person (surely he's not actually a 10/10- my ex was the one who was actually overweight, ugly, with other "shortcomings" in additi… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 31/07/20 07:23 PM |
| 11 | Saw my ex on Hinge this morningThrowback to the time I saw my ex on tinder with a photo of the two of us on his profile?? Does anyone know why scrotes will use old pictures of the two of you together to try to find other women? Honestly, this kinda stung because it was less than 24 hours after we broke up- I screenshotted it and sent it to him- he immediately replied saying he only picked the photo because he looked good. OP it sounds like you've got it down, I need to try to frame my mindset around your response! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 31/07/20 07:09 AM |
| 7 | Some real tea: You should only get married if the guy treats you like a queen and/or if he has money.I feel like I've fallen into a trap of going after "successful" and family money guys to get it thrown back in my face over and over again as a means for power and control. My family has always tried to push me towards these "types" to see who I could get- and they usually end up being sociopathic abusers/ addicts. (living a life full of sycophants with no consequences) Honestly, I know they think it's for my benefit but I am starting to get resentful. Then I get blamed for choosing the wrong on… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 31/07/20 06:31 AM |
| 17 | My eyes came across this disgusting LVM behavior. WHAT.Deadass had multiple LVM say "if you try to leave me I'm getting you pregnant so you'll have to stay". (one of these men had a PhD in physics- low value knows no bounds) And then scrotes have the audacity to turn it around on us like WE are the ones who trap them? | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 31/07/20 06:17 AM |
| 6 | Lesbian Finds Out What It's Like Being in a Relationship With an Average ManI was thinking about making a separate post about how important it is to vet a therapist, psychiatrist, etc. Yes, you are responsible for taking personal accountability but it can be incredibly hard to find healthy ways to do so with the right medical support. Last year in graduate school the only help I could find was a 78-year-old former Harvard professor wanting to prescribe potentially dangerous drug combinations. I was also not able to find a therapist taking on clients (after 5-6 tries). S… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 28/07/20 11:21 PM |
| 22 | Lesbian Finds Out What It's Like Being in a Relationship With an Average ManThis makes me mad as hell- men with ADD/ADHD get away with SO much. My dad, brother, and friends with the disorder find women to "take care" of them. They aren't ever judged for their angry outbursts (as they're men so they automatically have a right to be angry). Their disorganization is seen as clumsy but "oh well" (women should just clean up after them anyway right?) The "quirks" that make ADD/ADHD life hell for women are seen as "tolerable" most of the time with men. The fact that women with… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 28/07/20 11:04 PM |
| 7 | ExactlyThis reminds me of when I found tinder on my ex's phone the night before college graduation. He flew in to visit me and after going out to celebrate I found the app right there on his phone. I was pissed and he kept telling me I was crazy and that he had just forgotten to delete it. Those were the days.... | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 27/07/20 09:18 PM |
| 2 | Only my husband deserves the title of being your "son"Okay yes, I find that a lot of the times my parents get too excited and want to be happy for me when I meet someone who is high value on the surface. (or are trying to vet a guy and looking out for me) I'm thankful that I'm close to them, but at the same time, this dynamic is counterproductive to managing my expectations in a new relationship. I think this kind of approval or validation of "oh look who you can get! He's so impressive!" (despite them usually being butt ugly) led to me being despe… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 23/07/20 07:54 AM |
| 9 | High effort COVID dates?I actually did manage to meet someone who was in similar circumstances and we share viewpoints about taking the virus seriously. (hard to find in this state) We talked for about three weeks before meeting- so nothing was rushed and I agreed to see him in a safe space. (not abandoned but also adequate for social distancing outside) It was important to me that he wasn't in a rush to "meet" in person and I wanted to take some time to get to know each other a little bit first to see if we could be c… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 23/07/20 07:23 AM |
| 2 | Reaching out for supportI totally agree, it's been almost a year and I still seem to compare current dates with my ex. It's so insidious and makes me think that I'll never find anyone "better". I think it's also a coping mechanism for going out with assholes (they never measure up to the level of intimacy and "care" you had with your ex); at the same time, the comparisons are destructive because no new partner appears to be good enough or worthy in the ways you thought your ex was. (esp in the love-bombing phases) | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 22/07/20 06:32 AM |
| 5 | Let’s talk about future fakingThis used to get me every d*mn time, especially with well educated and successful guys who knew how to subtlety drop hints on the first, second, and third dates. Before FDS I met a guy who checked all of my boxes since childhood, he would make comments about how if he "clicked" with someone well he would marry them, asking me how much an engagement ring should cost because he couldn't do better, joking over and over "keep going out with me and I'll bring you to NYC after we graduate". He succeed… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 22/07/20 06:07 AM |
| 109 | Queen shittytI think this is high value in the sense that Diana only agreed to go to this event at the Serpentine gallery after she found out that Charles was going to admit his affair on public television that night. So instead of hiding away in shame about her failed marriage (on the same night her husband's infidelity which had wrecked her life was going to air), she decided to phone up her friend and agree to come to the event. She picked herself up, dressed in an amazing outfit, and faced the cameras to… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 20/07/20 09:45 PM |
| 16 | My no.1 tip for vetting narcisstic guysTHIS- one of my exes had a terrible domestic violence situation at home. Luckily it almost never got physical between us but our dynamic was so toxic and his mood could flip over nothing. Even his own family was begging him to be nice to me. I always thought he was mimicking his parent's dysfunctional relationship when we dated and was waiting for the other shoe to drop constantly... BTW he was wealthy and extremely well educated (ivy league undergrad and grad) from one of the most expensive and… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 20/07/20 02:46 AM |
| 15 | What are your proudest dumping LVM moments?We went to a disgusting cheap food place because he wanted to get something spicy to eat. (I was new to the area and didn't know better) After walking into a dilapidated restaurant and watching my ex eat black soup- he ran to the bathroom literally 3 feet away. He was gone for a while... He comes back from the bathroom and throws a scrunched up ball in my purse and says "can you hold onto this for me". It was his dirty underwear that he just blew ass in for the past 15 mins. I said no way and we… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 13/07/20 03:44 AM |
| 28 | I'm an Asian woman and I have given up on white and Asian men.As a white woman who recently happened to date a few East Asian men, I would say hell no to this. Statistically, white women and Asian men have some of the highest divorce rates of any interracial couples in the U.S. Some of my Asian exes said they had a "blonde" fetish and would only date blonde white girls? After I said that it was gross to stereotype people and strip them of their humanity they would say I was only with them because of yellow fever (I said I just like to date individuals and … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 08/07/20 08:47 AM |
| 1 | How would you handle men who comment on your body size?I always get this! It definitely leads me to think people aren't taking me seriously sometimes... I usually just say "you're sweet." and leave it at that (esp. if it's another woman) So many guys have tried to pull omg you're so small etc I usually say you're so big and laugh (only really works on guys 5'10 and under or has a tiny ...) | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 05/07/20 04:03 AM |
| 0 | He's a lawyer, I didn't do this on purpose but might've condescended him lolObv "not all" lawyers but literally every law student I've ever been out with had a special kind of arrogance. Better to respond like this and have fun with it! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 17/06/20 12:58 AM |
| 2 | What would happen if all women using dating apps... stopped? 🤔I agree that dating apps can be completely toxic- but after moving to a new city knowing absolutely NO ONE I found myself using OLD to meet some dates safely in a public place. OLD in Boston or San Francisco where you're dealing with techies and mostly going for the more shy or introverted high achievers is much, much different than agreeing to meet a total rando at 3 am from your hometown because you thought his photoshopped body shots were sexy. (no shame in the game but this is a dangerous si… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 29/05/20 06:26 AM |
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