WishScary Archive

Upvotes	Title	Category	Author	Subreddit	Date (UTC)

Upvotes	Comment on	Subreddit	Date (UTC)
5	How to be more assertive in the moment Absolutely valid point. There is a risk of that! I should have been clearer in my original reply that if you do this, its not about the income. I see it as no different from an actor gaining experience for a future role. Out of all suggestions this is also what helped me overcome a lot of issues I had with being assertive. You bring up something that I want to address. There is a difference between conflict resolution vs conflict avoidance aka being compliant and submissive. You can be assertive…	/r/askFDS	04/07/21 08:00 PM
10	How to be more assertive in the moment First, be gentle with yourself because of the shutdowns. Its been 1.5 years of collective stress. To me it sounds like the issue isn't that you are not assertive. Its that you don't have a shield for when you are vulnerable. It doesn't even sound like its a conscious thing. More like an automatic response. Abusive people naturally take advantage of such moments. I got three ideas. Role playing. I'm not talking board games. Role play responses with your assertive friends acting as the abusive peo…	/r/askFDS	04/07/21 09:25 AM
37	He mentions celebrities he's attracted to? Men don't mention other women to you if they are actually attracted to you. That includes their current wives and girlfriends as well as strangers and celebs. It took me a while to realize this. Its healthy. Its a sign of an advanced mature relationship between equals. He respects me so he can be honest with me. He's comfortable with me. We can talk about anything. I can't blame him, she is a beautiful woman. The above is how cool-girl-down-for-anything-me used to be. I can tell you now that its…	/r/askFDS	04/07/21 06:33 AM
12	Imagine if we became a collective mind Honestly most tech companies break the law from the start. What they do is strategically try to grow as fast as possible so by the time the law catches up they are too big to fail or already made the money to pivot to something else. BUT .... What if it was an art project???????? Like that "artist" who filmed 7 hours of stalkerish footage of random women, edited it from most attractive to least, and presented it as art. He even got enough funding to pay for him + 3 assistants. It doesn't have to…	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	04/07/21 04:36 AM
2	Imagine if we became a collective mind lol when I wrote male version I meant specifically for calling out dudes alone. But I wrote this kinda late so I can see where I messed up.	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	04/07/21 04:25 AM
20	Imagine if we became a collective mind You want something like The Dirty ( I don't know if I can link it here but google it) but in a database format, specifically for foul dudes, with additional added information on them. I can't see why a male version shouldn't exist if it doesn't already and we just don't know about it. Might be a legal nightmare but if The Dirty can get away with the crap they put on there, I suppose there's hope.	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	03/07/21 09:51 PM
20	Why Do They Insist They Are OK? Its easier to spot it with other women but much harder to see it with yourself. I just came out of the fog in stages. Could I have escaped years earlier? I'm not sure. For me it took the world stopping because of the pandemic and a few mini breakdowns. At my lowest point I realized I was in waaaaaaaaaaaay too much pain and I didn't know who I was anymore. I didn't have the vocabulary and awareness to realize just how bleeped up my last serious relationship was. But somehow I found stuff online…	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	26/06/21 10:37 AM
54	Some things that have worked for me Just adding to what you said... Most people know about fight, flight, and freeze as responses to extreme stress but fawning aka people pleasing is also a response. Its absolutely out of survival and conditioning. Trauma responses come in so many flavors.	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	25/06/21 09:16 PM
1	Seeking Advice on Identifying 🚩 I'm still learning too. I like rereading the FDS handbook. Also isn't there is a list of general run and dump cluster behaviors? Something like: substance abuse mental cruelty physical or sexual abuse anger controlling behavior underfunctioning/under-responsibility. I got that from the description of a book I just picked up to read (Everybody Marries the Wrong Person). I like to look at scenarios, make notes, and reexamine my past all the time. I'll share some examples. Taking dudes home would c…	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	21/06/21 10:00 AM
1	Distancing myself from my boyfriend. How to keep that strength when you love him? Sucks when you fall in love with a devilish grin, doesn't it? Voice memos to yourself on your phone that you break out in case of emergency are very powerful. Record yourself to remind yourself of why you are doing this and why you deserve better. Be honest, raw, and brutal. And on those days it gets really hard, play them over and over. Always remember to give yourself time. For a distraction you need something that is easy to pick up, hard to master, and gets you outside of your mind. Think ne…	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	21/06/21 07:31 AM
3	From "The Disenchantments of Love". Written in 1647 by María de Zayas. Whew! I was not ready. Also followed by a deep sigh because I used like romancing the past believing things were better somehow. This reddit just keeps popping all my bubbles which is good cause I got a lot of them. This is an ancient problem and its good to know there were strategists who "got it" even in the 1600s. Its never too early or too late to finally catch on.	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	21/06/21 05:48 AM
2	Thank you FDS - a story of conditioning Yes it does I am guilty of the same mistake.	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	21/06/21 03:38 AM
139	'Spiritual'/hippie men I'm glad you brought up the twin flame thing. Twin flames and the running away/reuniting cycle is just new age speak for love bombing and discarding by a narcissist over time. Learned that the hard way. Deep sighs The worse part is in twin flame theory the partner who is not narcissistic believes they have to put up with abuse as part of their activation into their true ultimate enlightened identity and life purpose. Its so dangerous. I'm so sad I ate that stuff up but when you know better you…	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	18/06/21 10:27 PM