TheRedArchive

~ archived since 2018 ~

Wolvengirla88 Archive

View 0 posts and 569 comments by Wolvengirla88 on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
Search in:
In subreddits:
More
Filter by year/month:
Upvotes Title Category Author Subreddit Date (UTC)
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
1

I’m not wrong. I’m historically accurate. You’re basing your understanding of gender norms on mythology and Hollywood.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/04/25 07:50 PM
1

There were only ever punishments for women, not men who did the exact same behavior. The sexism is strong in this one…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/04/25 02:49 AM
1

I support people adopting whatever boundaries work for them.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/03/25 09:46 PM
1

Why are you putting this much energy into trying to convince me to agree to racist arguments? And what on earth makes you think telling a stranger to “calm down” is appropriate?
/r/PurplePillDebate13/03/25 12:16 AM
1

A) This isn’t true and B) if objectively, statistically, I was in danger from a specific group of people, I would have the right to be afraid of them. Unfortunately for your argument, that group of people is men.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/03/25 05:42 PM
1

“A study”? And how many of those men were assaulted by other men?
/r/PurplePillDebate12/03/25 01:55 AM
1

That all has nothing to do with how many partners a woman has had.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/03/25 05:18 AM
4

Sigh. Once again, women are attracted to a wide variety of things. I say that as a woman who is attracted to trans men. As an example.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/03/25 04:17 AM
5

Because sexual assault has been studied and it’s predominantly men who commit it. Additionally, men kill women far more often than women kill men.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/03/25 03:43 AM
-4

There’s a big difference between toxic behavior vs abuse. It’s absolutely true that women’s cruelty and abuse are underreported. It’s objectively incorrect that there’s any parallel between rates of abuse or violence. In that context, for women to hate men serves a necessary function: self-protection.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/03/25 03:12 AM
2

What are you talking about? Are you haunting my Reddit? Do you imagine I don’t have a job because I have been fired in my life? I’m not ashamed of my past and I’m proud of what I have built. You do you and hope you can say the same someday.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/03/25 03:09 AM
2

So many women report abuse and so many men claim it’s not them.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/03/25 03:07 AM
1

Maybe the reason is the sheer prevalence of abusive men. A thought.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/03/25 10:23 PM
2

The entire way y’all are thinking about dating will make you miserable. If you judge people only on how they look, you get what you deserve. Most of the people out there “winning” at dating are people who have learned to see past appearances and trust their own desires and their own instincts about another person. Some beautiful men end up with “ugly” women and vice versa. And some of us aren’t attracted to cis people at all! Figure out what attracts YOU and then cultivate those things in yourse…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/03/25 10:10 PM
1

Why do men get so pissed off at women for having fun?
/r/PurplePillDebate10/03/25 10:05 PM
2

All human behavior takes place in a human social context, which….why am I arguing with you? Okay dude. Whatever you say. May it do you some good.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/03/25 09:59 PM
2

Wow that’s….a lot of synonyms for fat, yup. I’m sure Lizzo gives a shit what you think while she rakes in the dough.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/03/25 09:57 PM
2

lol the fact that you call real human beings by a deliberately insulting term kinda gives it away that you don’t give a shit about our “health” except insofar as you think it impacts you. You’re a shit human being, but that doesn’t exactly surprise you, now does it?
/r/PurplePillDebate10/03/25 09:57 PM
3

Hmm. One of us called fat people a piece of shit. It wasn’t me. Wonder why you might give off the impression you hate fat people tho? It’s almost like you can’t bear to be called out for your prejudice. I wonder how you treat actual fat people who have the burden of interacting with you?
/r/PurplePillDebate10/03/25 09:55 PM
0

WOW you seem to hate people based on a long list of traits that don’t make any sense. Oprah is lazy? I somehow doubt it. Oprah is a “drain on society?” Um no. But I can see you are!!
/r/PurplePillDebate10/03/25 03:16 AM
2

WOW who cares? Biologists report homosexual behavior in a wide variety of species, if you require a hard sciences explanation.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/03/25 03:15 AM
2

lol every species of monkey practices homosexuality. You’re prioritizing reproduction and nature clearly does not.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/03/25 03:14 AM
1

WOW you clearly hate fat people. Sucks for you. Do you also hate smokers who get lung cancer? Or football players who get concussions? Doubt it.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/03/25 03:13 AM
2

Unlike every other Trump appointee
/r/PurplePillDebate09/03/25 11:11 PM
1

Who is “you”? Many women are not married to this person.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/03/25 11:10 PM
1

Heterosexuality is not inherently natural. No behavior is “natural.” Everything we do is embedded in a social context. Take a Sociology class.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/03/25 11:05 PM
2

You do you
/r/PurplePillDebate09/03/25 10:17 PM
2

Or you just found someone you’re in a toxic relationship with. One or the other.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/03/25 10:15 PM
4

I’m sorry this happened to you but I’m unclear how this relates. Also neither of you are communicating well.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/03/25 10:05 PM
2

That’s true in my experience. But most women I meet are insecure about our bodies. The body positivity movement didn’t do a good job of telling us how to get to the point of loving ourselves.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/03/25 09:55 PM
1

Shy women on here: this is my experience Men: That doesn’t happen
/r/PurplePillDebate09/03/25 09:53 PM
0

Because people have genders.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/03/25 09:49 PM
2

So sorry you personally see no value in people you don’t find attractive. That says a lot about your values.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/03/25 09:49 PM
1

I’m not pre diabetic, my dude. You can’t tell someone’s health by looking. Obviously.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/03/25 09:48 PM
1

Excuse me? You’re basically arguing that women should hate themselves. The movement was not “hijacked.” It’s doing its job. You just don’t like women you don’t find personally attractive.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/03/25 09:47 PM
1

Because if y’all adopted the same ideas, you would see the same benefits. Duh.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/03/25 06:33 PM
6

Women were already fat. Now we just don’t hate ourselves for it.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/03/25 06:33 PM
8

That’s not what they were arguing. They said FORCED heterosexuality was a social construct. Do you want to force people to fuck you?
/r/PurplePillDebate09/03/25 06:31 PM
1

Weirdly women aren’t fighting for men
/r/PurplePillDebate09/03/25 06:30 PM
3

It was created by women
/r/PurplePillDebate09/03/25 06:30 PM
2

If you think practicing skills makes you seem inauthentic, you’re never going to practice and you’re never going to improve. It’s really up to you.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/03/25 05:22 PM
1

I mean, there are ways people can change these things! To become more interesting, do interesting things. To become more charming, watch YouTube videos like Charisma on Command. To become more verbally adroit, accept opportunities to speak in front of groups and take a public speaking course or two. Most people don’t actually try to change these things. I’m autistic, and I’ve been able to change.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/03/25 05:09 PM
1

The problem obviously is not whether this dude had a one night stand. The problem is his attitude towards the person he chose to be intimate with. You’re articulating the idea that she deserves to be PUNISHED. That it is okay to treat her abusively. It is NEVER okay to treat someone abusively.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/03/25 11:24 PM
4

Animals don’t actually behave like that. Many animals mate for life. You’re justifying your own craven nature.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/03/25 08:12 PM
–

Literally there is no stable definition of toxicity, so…yeah? But generally the term is used to mean behavior that does harm to others. It’s not actually harming you for women to have sex with people who are not you.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/03/25 04:20 PM
1

Weirdly, women don’t post the number of their weight on our dating profiles. Men don’t post the size of their dicks either. None of us know what we’re going to get in another person.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/03/25 03:35 PM
–

You’re putting together a whole bunch of stuff that doesn’t inherently connect. Like toxicity with cruelty and aggression with sexual promiscuity. These things are not connected.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/03/25 06:04 AM
2

Everyone should be straightforward and honest. At all times. But we’re not. And we live in a society that normalizes that dishonesty.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/03/25 11:16 PM
7

Y’all need to be on a desert island somewhere
/r/PurplePillDebate05/03/25 11:14 PM
21

You’re actually just a terrible person who’s confused your own creepiness for the state of malekind.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/03/25 11:13 PM
10

Expressing frustration by sharing revenge fantasies is a choice.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/03/25 07:24 PM
5

A lot of men fuck fat women but secretly resent us, you mean.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/03/25 07:23 PM
61

Weirdly, men stay married after their wives turn 40. It’s almost like we’re more than animals.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/03/25 04:21 AM
1

Not really. Standards is another term for boundaries. You should absolutely have boundaries in deciding how to engage with people.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/03/25 04:48 AM
1

Yes, the patriarchy is indeed synonymous with sexism.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/03/25 12:03 AM
-1

Personally I’m never going to be interested in dating or hooking up with someone who divides women into “hot” and “ugly”, ye gods
/r/PurplePillDebate02/03/25 11:42 PM
2

I actually learned a lot from reading this
/r/PurplePillDebate02/03/25 11:39 PM
3

lol we don’t want to fuck them either
/r/PurplePillDebate07/01/24 02:52 AM
1

lol fatness has nothing to do with social norms
/r/PurplePillDebate07/01/24 02:52 AM
0

Millions of people have undiagnosed or improperly treated chronic illnesses. Offer people decent health care and you’d be surprised how fast their HEALTH improves lol
/r/PurplePillDebate07/01/24 02:51 AM
1

She was pretty, but also she was extremely thin and she came from serious wealth and had a mother who was extremely professionally successful.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/12/23 09:47 PM
1

If you strike up a conversation you’re interested in, no. If the conversation seems really awkward from the beginning and your anxiety is out of control, it’s gonna go badly. The key with everything is to be present and enjoy what you’re doing, not hope for more than what’s happening right now. If you can have a nice conversation without needing more to feel satisfied, then you’re where you need to be. If you’re just waiting to get to the next level the whole time, then you’re not going to be pr…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/12/23 02:58 AM
1

How you feel will translate to the other person. If you feel inferior and resentful, she’ll know. The problem is not what you’re doing. It’s how you personally feel doing it.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/12/23 05:24 PM
1

Lol
/r/PurplePillDebate30/11/23 04:26 PM
0

It’s not socially acceptable. If it were legal, it would be socially acceptable.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/11/23 04:26 PM
0

You realize male sex workers exist?
/r/PurplePillDebate30/11/23 02:48 AM
26

“Most women hate this but their feelings are wrong!”
/r/PurplePillDebate28/11/23 03:22 AM
2

Those are not “boundaries.”
/r/PurplePillDebate27/11/23 11:26 PM
1

Uhhhhhh
/r/PurplePillDebate27/11/23 11:21 PM
3

Objectively, statistically, it is.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/11/23 11:21 PM
1

50 million people in the US, 2/3 women 30-50.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/11/23 11:20 PM
3

Y’all. The average woman is fat and has a chronic illness and is not on Tinder.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/11/23 05:58 PM
1

“Science” lol you listen to Jordan Peterson and decided that counts
/r/PurplePillDebate26/11/23 04:13 PM
1

“You got the easy job” yeah sure after being raped and stalked and sexually harassed all we had to do is somehow have sex and enjoy it no big deal
/r/PurplePillDebate26/11/23 04:55 AM
1

Women get “dry” if we don’t feel safe or don’t feel trust. It’s both psychological and physical.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/11/23 04:32 AM
2

As a very curvy woman- Men stare at me everywhere I go. Men want to fuck me all day long. It gets boring. We get picky because we get offered the same exact thing over and over. We want newness.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/11/23 02:24 AM
4

Yup
/r/PurplePillDebate26/11/23 01:25 AM
-2

Yup-the slut shaming is intense. But heaven forbid we’re actually impacted by how people treat us.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/11/23 01:08 AM
2

Women consistently say otherwise and y’all ignore us.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/11/23 12:47 AM
1

It’s been an issue for some of my partners. I don’t always have intercourse plus they seem not to understand sex or enjoy unless they’re dominating.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/11/23 12:47 AM
-1

Welcome to the entire history of Western religion.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/11/23 12:25 AM
10

Women need to get to know ourselves and know our own bodies. We also need to be cautious in how we choose partners, and have the skills to communicate our needs and boundaries. Without that, we will lack safety with partners. Can’t relax enough to get off if you’re unsafe.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/11/23 12:23 AM
2

Except men can lose their erection and women can’t. So no.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/11/23 12:20 AM
-3

“Primal” is nonsense. You mean “emotional.”
/r/PurplePillDebate26/11/23 12:19 AM
-8

Women are shamed our whole lives for this but sure, women are just lazy like you said
/r/PurplePillDebate26/11/23 12:17 AM
0

Thanks! Children know exactly what they want. Children are not afraid to tell you what’s what.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/11/23 10:05 PM
1

The fact that you put “struggles” in quotes while referencing serious life issues. Please reject me! Reject us all. You’re saving us.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/11/23 05:46 PM
0

lol you don’t give a shit about anyone. And you act like it. Have a good day .
/r/PurplePillDebate25/11/23 05:45 PM
-2

They are realities of life, bud. So is being a rape survivor or struggling in other ways. Welcome to late stage capitalism.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/11/23 10:07 AM
2

Treating fatness or “body count” as a good reason to dismiss women is why you are single.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/11/23 09:51 AM
1

Why is it that men like you feel the need to respond to rape stats with “men get raped too?” WE KNOW. As someone actually involved in rape advocacy, uh yeah. I know. Weaponizing these stats to silence women is not the move. Go out and do some actual work on the subject.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/11/23 09:50 AM
1

Lol 1/4 women are raped, guess you live on a different planet
/r/PurplePillDebate25/11/23 02:13 AM
–

Many men have unrealistic expectations of what a girlfriend should be expected to do for them. There aren’t many men who are adult enough to be able to participate in a relationship.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/11/23 06:36 PM
-1

Do you really need literal exact words to explain this? Really?
/r/PurplePillDebate23/11/23 10:03 PM
2

Lol most people think it’s mildly important idk
/r/PurplePillDebate23/11/23 12:55 AM
1

Lol
/r/PurplePillDebate22/11/23 09:08 PM
0

Men on this thread attack women survivors of domestic violence for not seeing abusers’ red flags all the time so
/r/PurplePillDebate22/11/23 04:45 PM
29

It’s pretty telling that you don’t consider things like “a college education” or “a good job” as things women can/should bring to the table.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/11/23 02:22 AM
3

I’ve never seen a single one but I’ve seen 50 from men.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/11/23 07:32 PM
1

I mean
/r/PurplePillDebate21/11/23 07:31 PM
2

Agree that too many women are willing to manipulate men to get what they want. Men don’t have to open up to get that effect. The problem is coercion. Not vulnerability. Many women are emotionally abusive. Others are not. Don’t blame male victims for women’s actions.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/11/23 07:26 PM
0

Women risk far more to open up sexually. Guess we should just stop.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/11/23 07:25 PM
2

This a whole long list of stereotypes though. Women have a right to want their partner to meet them halfway. If she needs emotional sharing, he should try. She shouldn’t force him or manipulate him.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/11/23 07:23 PM
4

Y’all just forget that marginalized women exist, don’t you? I’m disabled. This is really not remotely my experience.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/11/23 05:58 AM
2

This is called narcissism.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/11/23 04:26 AM
2

Except that men have casual sex.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/11/23 04:25 AM
6

Women here absolutely never say this.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/11/23 04:24 AM
1

This is one guy’s rant and I’m not interested in arguing as though it’s in good faith.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/11/23 11:05 PM
1

You’ve created your own imaginary standard then dismissed everything accordingly.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/11/23 11:04 PM
5

Male abusers tend to report themselves as victims and men rarely risk serious physical injury in abusive situations.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/11/23 06:06 PM
1

So many of us get so fucked up about sex early on, from child abuse or sexual harassment or assault or betrayal. Then we disconnect emotionally from each other because of course we do. What other choices are there?
/r/PurplePillDebate16/11/23 06:39 AM
–

Women want men who are assertive and willing to clearly express what they want. Not exactly the same thing. At all.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/11/23 07:49 PM
0

I’ve actually literally stopped a rape AND reported child sexual abuse. Do go on.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/11/23 01:07 AM
1

My dude. That was a survey of 1200 people between 1975-1985 you looked up. The actual DOJ stat is “18%” and that’s still conservative.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/11/23 01:07 AM
2

Funny how rape victims disagree.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/11/23 06:22 PM
-1

It is. Domestic violence, sexual assault, trauma from these things-absolutely it is. The CDC does not collect statistics from interpersonal violence nor is there tracking of even the short-term impacts of these incidents. But ok.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/11/23 06:21 PM
-6

One of the leading causes of death for women is men. But ok.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/11/23 03:59 PM
-7

“Irony impaired person”? Is that like a disability? Because it sounds like you made some shut up.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/11/23 03:58 PM
1

Yet you claim you are.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/11/23 03:50 PM
0

We absolutely can influence others. That’s called a society.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/11/23 03:50 PM
-6

You’re more afraid than women are. You’re so afraid you don’t act honorably.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/11/23 03:49 PM
-4

The fact you cannot interpret men protecting women from violence as being anything other than Batman demonstrates the flaws in your thinking. Women don’t want or need someone to be a superhero. Why would you need to resort to physical violence?
/r/PurplePillDebate14/11/23 03:48 PM
0

“What’s the gain?” Well how about living in a society where you don’t have to worry about the women you love being raped?
/r/PurplePillDebate14/11/23 03:45 PM
2

It’s not a competition. It is never a competition.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/11/23 12:18 AM
-1

Okayyyyy
/r/PurplePillDebate12/11/23 01:22 AM
-3

Women who are virgins at 20 are also shamed. Calm down.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/11/23 11:24 PM
2

Again. It’s called “acquaintance rape.” Men who women are on first or second dates with count as “acquaintances.”
/r/PurplePillDebate11/11/23 10:24 PM
6

“I have to live somewhere and have a mode of transportation and be able to schedule a date.” OMG how awful
/r/PurplePillDebate11/11/23 09:06 PM
1

“If it sounds condescending it is because you don’t understand words.” I’ll go explain to my two graduate degrees in English that a stranger on the internet says I don’t know how words work.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/11/23 09:05 PM
1

Do you understand that speaking to women in this disrespectful and condescending manner makes it clear you are plenty abusive, you just don’t admit it?
/r/PurplePillDebate11/11/23 08:27 PM
2

The part where statistics all say you’re wrong bub.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/11/23 08:26 PM
6

“His” woman. Meanwhile she’s not supposed to have feelings about his sex life obvs.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/11/23 08:25 PM
5

Lol you don’t fight something by ignoring it that’s literally insane but ok. You want to be a shit human and come up with justifications, that’s on you. The abusers are thrilled.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/11/23 08:24 PM
8

SA is acquaintance rape most of the time. Most. Review the statistics. Stop spewing ignorant bullshit.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/11/23 05:23 PM
15

“Women create a perceived scarcity” by setting boundaries and having standards. So sorry. Men could also do so much for yourselves by fighting domestic violence and sexual assault so more women feel safe hooking up but you don’t. You just complain.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/11/23 04:53 PM
0

Washing the dishes is not loving behavior. Did you contribute to the dishes? Then do the damn dishes. Are your clothes in the laundry? Then do the laundry. The fact you don’t see these tasks as an obvious part of your responsibility is why you’re not getting laid.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/11/23 04:52 PM
2

I think most of us are both/and. I’ve done some amazing stuff and some horrible stuff. Most people are both/and.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/11/23 04:23 AM
2

Well it’s not “always” anything. Most people treat their experience like it’s the only experience that matters. That’s not unique to BLM or feminists. Oppression makes a lot of people kinder.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/11/23 10:26 PM
1

Because oppression exists. Acknowledging oppression is not inherently bad. Recognizing that some people are suffering more than you should not be such a threat.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/11/23 10:05 PM
23

Women and men define loving behavior differently. Men typically don’t want to offer love by doing the laundry or washing the dishes either.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/11/23 05:36 AM
1

Men are “easier” in specific ways but women are easier in specific ways. This is a ridiculous argument.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/11/23 03:37 PM
2

You realize most people here complain about how badly you treat them, not autism itself? Please, look at your own cruelty.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/11/23 03:27 AM
0

Well that’s an extremely bizarre take on what you’ve decided I said. Can’t help. Good luck with the bug in your brain lol
/r/PurplePillDebate07/11/23 03:27 AM
4

So you literally just sidestepped the entire part where your behavior has a profound negative impact because the only person whose feelings or needs you’re actually interested in are yours. So no. You don’t get to be comfortable. Narcissists don’t get to be comfortable.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/11/23 07:24 PM
2

You know most people who actually have autism do not agree that autism impacts our lives negatively—and “family members of people with autism” are not actually a relevant category? Ye gods, imagine if “families of people who are transgender” got a vote!
/r/PurplePillDebate06/11/23 07:22 PM
3

Never mind-I can guess!
/r/PurplePillDebate06/11/23 07:21 PM
3

Are autistic people dying of autism? Or does autism just make you uncomfortable? Have you talked to the many many folks with autism who don’t want to be changed against their will? Or are you only interested in hearing from the teachers and family members who are inconvenienced?
/r/PurplePillDebate06/11/23 07:21 PM
0

Choosing a partner does not mean you are responsible for everything they do forever. Otherwise spouses would go to prison for their husbands’ murders.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/11/23 06:04 PM
3

“No one hates autistic people?” Bro, you live in a society where millions of dollars are spent trying to end autism.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/11/23 06:03 PM
6

I think it’s absolutely okay to make you feel “uncomfortable.” You’re a stranger on the internet who’s making offensive statements. Do you think it’s okay to be offensive?
/r/PurplePillDebate06/11/23 06:02 PM
15

Yeah this is ridiculous. You’re berating an autistic person for being autistic and encouraging them to blame their lack of dating success on autism, instead of, say, the fact we live in a society that teaches people to hate autistic people. Meanwhile you’re admitting to approaching women and making them uncomfortable ie turns out you can’t read social situations either.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/11/23 01:57 PM
1

People respond well when you consider our needs in general. When you prioritize your needs, not so much.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/11/23 02:55 AM
1

This is true.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/11/23 12:48 AM
1

I was not intending to criticize you personally. I feel like I touched a hurt place in you without intending to attack you. I want to take this opportunity to reassure you that it is absolutely 100% clear that you put a lot of effort into being kind to others and that’s a beautiful thing. When I’m talking about men generally, I want to be clear that in my experience, most men don’t consider their impact on women the way you do. What makes interacting with men so scary, for me anyway, is because …
/r/PurplePillDebate05/11/23 03:25 AM
2

All of us are works in progress. Imagine if husband was dedicated to trying to help wife figure out what she needs rather than trying to coerce her into doing what he wants.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/11/23 09:44 PM
1

We ask that you read the signals. In my case, I usually have a book with me or my phone in front of my face. I don’t make eye contact. I don’t flirt. So when men do push the conversation, it’s usually pretty clear the conversation is not desired. I understand it’s not always possible to know before making contact. But we ask that you stop to consider her signals before coming over.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/11/23 09:28 PM
0

If you literally cannot empathize with trauma and violence to this extent, you are a sociopath who does not have any business interacting with other human beings.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/11/23 08:10 PM
0

I have also had good interactions with strangers. Unless they’re hitting on me. As a trauma survivor, it literally terrifies me and ruins my whole day. You just never know where people are coming from. The fact you leapt to “antisocial” is scary.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/11/23 07:18 PM
1

Women want to be approached by men we already have some previous interactions with. Not by utter strangers.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/11/23 07:00 PM
2

I can’t imagine why I would care what a stranger finds attractive
/r/PurplePillDebate04/11/23 05:27 PM
3

Uh
/r/PurplePillDebate04/11/23 05:42 AM
1

I’m not accountable for the actions of other people.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/11/23 10:23 PM
1

Abusers often grow up in abusive households and spend their formative years learning their tricks. They also learn who to target.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/11/23 10:22 PM
5

Uh there is tons of documented research on narcissists and manipulation but ok.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/11/23 10:21 PM
–

Women are manipulative because we are afraid.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/11/23 12:48 AM
9

You hate women. It’s ok to admit that.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/11/23 02:14 AM
0

A negatively stereotyped group like say WOMEN
/r/PurplePillDebate01/11/23 02:00 AM
2

Literally have never seen this happen but I sure have seen men lie about their intentions
/r/PurplePillDebate01/11/23 12:27 AM
1

Don’t have to, you say the quiet part out loud
/r/PurplePillDebate31/10/23 11:51 PM
1

I agree with some of this. People are attractive when we go out into the world and do real shit. When we take chances. When we take charge. When we make mistakes. We are not attractive when we refuse to do that. When we play it safe. When we stay inside. When we let life pass by and don’t engage. No one’s going to find you appealing because you lie in bed all day watching Game of Thrones.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/10/23 11:00 PM
3

The fact so many men consider themselves hopelessly ugly but would never consider dating women they consider ugly or fat is wild.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/10/23 12:31 AM
2

We just need places to hang out and make friends that aren’t about trying to get laid.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/10/23 10:11 PM
1

Literally any day at the beach but ok
/r/PurplePillDebate29/10/23 09:01 PM
1

Clickbait
/r/PurplePillDebate29/10/23 02:55 AM
1

Women sleep with all kinds of people. I’ve hooked up with all kinds of people depending how I felt and who was around. People stand around judging other people when they’re jealous and it’s sad.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/10/23 12:24 AM
0

Wear clothes appropriate for the occasion. That’s not a “wardrobe.” It’s clothing. That you wear. Every human being is expected to own clothing appropriate for different occasions that fits decently. Not sure why men are shocked and appalled by this consistently.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/10/23 12:03 AM
0

That’s just bonkers. If you’re pursuing someone, you clearly already HAVE feelings. That is not “being friends.” What you mean is, you want to be romantic but you don’t want to be committed OR have sex because that doesn’t fit your romantic fantasy. That’s exhausting and frankly extremely immature and a giant red flag.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/10/23 12:02 AM
-2

Yeah, this is all bullshit. I’ve invited men who have been pursuing me for days. In each case, they fumbled it or said no outright. I mean-guys who were pulling out all the stops, serenading me, cooking me dinner and shit. The moment I said, okay, now I want to! They backed the F off. I don’t even mean that I did anything socially weird. I mean I just took the lead a little bit. They looked terrified. They didn’t know what to do. One guy immediately insisted he “just wanted to be friends”-2 days…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/10/23 11:30 PM
3

“Have a great wardrobe”=have clothes that fit
/r/PurplePillDebate28/10/23 11:23 PM
2

Men have been doing these things for ages. What’s different is, now men have to schedule around women’s lives the way women have always had to schedule around men.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/10/23 02:22 PM
1

Uh it’s not subtle
/r/PurplePillDebate28/10/23 04:27 AM
2

“A fat woman was mean to me once and I have never gotten over it”
/r/PurplePillDebate28/10/23 04:26 AM
1

If you refer to actual human beings as trash, you should not be dating.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/10/23 04:25 AM
11

“Men hurt women’s emotional health by treating women like shit ergo women should avoid pleasure so men like women more”
/r/PurplePillDebate28/10/23 02:11 AM
2

This is such a ridiculous conversation. Men generally won’t seriously date fat women but insist ugly women can still find partners. Ditto disabled women. But men Will complain all day about how the prettiest women in the room won’t give them the time of day because they have big ears-and a bad attitude. Come on.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/10/23 03:25 PM
0

Yeah and it’s usually passive aggressive.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/10/23 02:55 AM
0

Women obsess over whether they are attractive. They only care if other women are prettier or not. That’s it.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/10/23 02:55 AM
0

“Leveraging the existence of gay men.” Dude. If you’re paying this much attention to someone’s attractiveness and moaning and groaning about it, there’s a reason. Not to mention you’re clearly not personally offended because you’re queer, you’re offended because you want to protect heterosexual privilege for yourself.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/10/23 02:53 AM
1

Yeah. You do. Because 1/4 women are raped and most have been sexually assaulted. It’s actually not about you or what you deserve. It’s about her safety.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/10/23 02:51 AM
3

Um that’s not gonna work
/r/PurplePillDebate06/10/23 02:41 AM
2

“Sexual assault may affect libido?” Seriously? You’re not even saying anything real. Women want romance and sex. Women are also traumatized. Most men can’t deal with that and never bother to learn how. Ergo.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/10/23 02:40 AM
-4

Women don’t obsess about whether women are attractive or not. If they did, then yeah, I would think they were gay.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/10/23 02:35 AM
2

I personally reported my father for abusing me. I reported him to CPS and to the police. None of them did anything. Neither did my cousins. This is mostly how violence looks in real life. It happens “in secret” but it’s an open secret. Then when women do talk about it, other men don’t do shit because they don’t want their own lives to get messed up. I trust men who are complete strangers to walk me to my car in the dark. I don’t trust anyone to keep me safe from my own family.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/10/23 12:48 AM
1

You: some men are ugly and life is unfair. Is this an appropriate response to a woman disclosing sexual assault?
/r/PurplePillDebate06/10/23 12:42 AM
1

This seems to assume that competition is a thing only men feel.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/10/23 12:28 AM
1

You: women get raped and sexually harassed and molested way more than men and here is how that impacts me!
/r/PurplePillDebate06/10/23 12:25 AM
1

That’s only true if you are actually partners already and there is an expectation of mutuality. What often happens instead is that men dump on women during the “talking” phase but don’t actually feel any sense of genuine commitment.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/10/23 12:23 AM
1

Men in my experience are more likely to start talking about extremely traumatic situations out of nowhere and expect me to comfort them. Even if I literally just met them. HOWEVER this is not about gender, this is about power. Women who have class privilege I don’t have will do the exact same thing. I’ve experienced a lot of women who started telling me inappropriate things or crying about their boyfriends or whatever after I had barely just met them. This is how people act with people they have…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/10/23 12:20 AM
5

Men control what they do in order to get food, sleep, and every other human need. They can control what they do to get sex. They simply feel entitled not to have to.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/10/23 11:30 PM
74

“I see women with funny shapes dating men I am attracted to, how dare they”
/r/PurplePillDebate05/10/23 10:31 PM
1

That’s a really strange way of understanding the reality that women grow up being sexually assaulted and encountering men who abuse us. Women develop a distaste for sex for good reason.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/10/23 08:02 PM
1

That “piece of paper” from a top 10 university does me just fine but you are welcome to think whatever you like. I have no control over your brain. I mean wouldn’t that be fun though?
/r/PurplePillDebate05/10/23 08:01 PM
1

Women are most of the people staffing care jobs. Women take care of little boys and veterans and people in need at every level of society. Most of the care you receive is from women.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/10/23 07:57 PM
1

First of all, men absolutely do hate us. They feel completely entitled to sleep with us, and they lash out at us if we say no or set any boundaries whatsoever. Second, there is still a giant double standard where men who have multiple partners or are in open relationships look down on me for hooking up with other men ever. If you cannot handle the idea that women have sex outside of relationships, you are not mature enough to treat your partner equitably.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/10/23 07:40 PM
1

Men to have their shit together?
/r/PurplePillDebate05/10/23 07:33 PM
2

Oh hun. I have a Master’s in English. Do take your obvious need to cling to any scraps of superiority elsewhere.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/10/23 07:33 PM
2

Autistic women are much more likely to be “accepted” but actively harmed by other people. This isn’t exactly a “win.”
/r/PurplePillDebate05/10/23 06:51 PM
3

Men don’t really seem to think about what it’s like to be a woman and get approached everywhere, often inappropriately. I’ve been hit on by men who sit next to me on Bart when I’m reading. I’ve been hit on by men in housing situations whose girlfriends I’d met, and who basically took advantage of any conversation with me to try to hit on me. It actually doesn’t matter much what the guy looked like. Some actions are inappropriate no matter who does them.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/10/23 06:13 PM
3

Uhhhh
/r/PurplePillDebate05/10/23 06:09 PM
1

Lol read over these comments and play a Chad drinking game-you’ll be on the floor
/r/PurplePillDebate05/10/23 06:00 PM
1

Kinda enjoying how men like you think Chad is a literal real human being. As though Chad is about to appear around a corner and throw a woman over his shoulder like a caveman. Dude.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/10/23 05:06 PM
1

“Picked at random”=chosen by the human being who you want to coerce into ignoring her boundaries because you don’t personally agree with them.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/10/23 05:04 PM
0

No one is whining to YOU lol. People TALK to our friends.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/10/23 05:03 PM
0

You are why women refuse to have sex with men we are interested in.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/10/23 05:33 AM
3

They’re not arbitrary just because you don’t agree with them.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/10/23 05:32 AM
2

Because it matters when the relationship matters. Stop whining.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/10/23 05:31 AM
1

Except for the whole “rape” thing, I take it?
/r/PurplePillDebate04/10/23 07:04 PM
0

This literally makes no sense. Recognizing that the world we live in shapes us is just basic sociological reasoning. Sorry if you were absent that day in class. We’re all influenced by our environment. Except you, apparently!
/r/PurplePillDebate04/10/23 02:44 AM
7

As a nonbinary person who has recently embraced my identity and stopped identifying as a woman, it’s a lot easier and there’s a lot more emotional support to identify as a woman. I mean, I literally found a retreat for survivors of the exact type of child abuse I lived through. It’s completely free. It’s also only available for women. There are countless eating disorder retreats, writers retreats, creative retreats of all kinds, and therapeutic activities, just for women.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/10/23 02:40 AM
1

Well that’s not true
/r/PurplePillDebate04/10/23 02:22 AM
–

That’s just ridiculous, given how many men on here are sitting here refusing to date fat women lol
/r/PurplePillDebate04/10/23 01:57 AM
1

Well that’s awfully condescending and unnecessary. Women are shaped by sexism and that’s just facts. You can accept the realities of the world you live in them fight back or not but you ignore it at your own peril.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/10/23 01:55 AM
0

Ugh this is extremely offensive and scary to read .
/r/PurplePillDebate04/10/23 01:49 AM
–

It’s embarrassing that men think rape is a reasonable exchange for being sexualized by total strangers, teachers, and our own dads.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/10/23 09:08 PM
1

Women absolutely do expect men to change. Men never do because why would they?
/r/PurplePillDebate03/10/23 03:48 AM
1

It’s because in patriarchal heterosexist society men didn’t get married until 30s and established in their careers, and usually married teenagers.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/10/23 03:46 AM
3

Talk to the person. Ask what she wants. If she can’t tell you, she’s not going to be a good partner.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/10/23 02:29 AM
1

I disagree. I related completely to what that man said and I thought it was very insightful. Also women absolutely do things to try to make men like us, are you kidding?
/r/PurplePillDebate01/10/23 02:31 AM
5

2 compared to a long list of famous men. And they are both thin white women.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/10/23 02:29 AM
0

You’re missing it.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/10/23 02:29 AM
4

Women don’t start off as a booty call. That’s the point. She is an actual whole person with an actual entire life before you come along judging her and evaluating her.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/10/23 02:29 AM
1

This.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/10/23 02:28 AM
4

You used the phrase “make her pussy flood” when it was totally unnecessary. I have some idea why you in particular don’t get dates.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/09/23 03:52 AM
0

Expecting women to get our nails done is a cultural expectation. Expecting women to be thin is a cultural expectation. In other countries, the cultural expectations are different. The comparison is actually very apt. But since you dropped the term “delusion” just to see if you could get away with being a total asshole, I’m extremely done talking to you.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/09/23 03:48 AM
3

Women are told we are “unattractive” because we are fat or because we don’t get our nails done and it’s the same men saying that who want female attention without changing anything whatsoever.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/09/23 12:58 AM
3

You seem like a real catch. Jesus. Look, women who go through those things get judged. People don’t want to hang out with people who are damaged and still working through the damage. YOU would not want to hang out with someone who reflects the massive list of things you just casually recited. So what makes you think anyone else would either?
/r/PurplePillDebate29/09/23 12:51 AM
2

What would you think about a woman in your position?
/r/PurplePillDebate28/09/23 11:52 PM
–

I think that having interests and passions is attractive. That has nothing to do with being a 10 on someone else’s attractiveness scale. Going to the gym is not all that interesting and going through shit leaves its mark. You seem like someone who hasn’t got a lot of time for other people who have lived through deep trauma. That means you don’t get to benefit from their deep compassion either.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/09/23 07:19 PM
0

Women: I am worthy of being treated well by a man who is not looking for a mommy. Men: this is so unfair!
/r/PurplePillDebate28/09/23 07:16 PM
1

The same men that post things like this would never in a million years date a fat woman or a woman with a chronic illness or children or a disability Or facial disfigurement.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/09/23 06:41 AM
1

That seems like a giant leap. A lot of beautiful people hide behind their beauty and a lot of ugly people have to develop other talents to get by. I’ve hidden behind my beauty before too. There’s no shame in admitting it unless you don’t grow from there.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/09/23 02:45 AM
1

Sex is by definition consensual. If another guy puts a dildo inside you, I think you understand that’s not sex.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/09/23 12:58 AM
1

I’m a woman and I’ve pretty much given up. Every time I start to feel all right, I get sick again. Some variety of chronic illness pops up. Then I spend months dealing with that, while trying to go to work and go to school and idk stay alive. It all feels exhausting. Then when I finally start feeling well enough to consider dating, I get sick again. My body looks like…well like I haven’t worked out in five years lol. I’m just so tired. But I’m lonely. I don’t have friends anymore.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/09/23 11:30 PM
-1

Women have Asperger’s too.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/09/23 11:21 PM
1

Yeah I’ve met these men. They’re great until it’s time for a conversation.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/09/23 11:20 PM
-4

Also don’t call rape “sex.”
/r/PurplePillDebate26/09/23 02:38 AM
0

Yeah. I’m aware.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/09/23 02:27 AM
1

Right now, I just want to flirt and play and learn about relationships. In a year or two, I would like to meet my person and settle down with them and have a great love that transforms both of our lives forever.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/09/23 11:29 PM
-1

Having worked at a women’s center at a college campus, let me tell you how all this actually plays out in real life. Men assault women fairly often. It’s the same guys over and over. Most belong to fraternities, or are very wealthy and come from powerful families. A few are just products of abuse themselves and are now predators. Universities know who these men are. Everyone knows who these men are. There are no punishments. These men still have friends and girlfriends and they probably graduate…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/09/23 09:59 PM
-1

I had evidence including DNA and the police insisted it was consensual. Evidence won’t keep you safe from rape culture.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/09/23 09:47 PM
2

And again: housekeeping/childrearing/household management/tons of other things but you choose the lowest paid job because you’re a douche.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/09/23 08:39 PM
2

Half of Americans living in poverty but yeah sure.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/09/23 08:38 PM
1

That’s not what emotional labor is at all. Emotional labor is how most men have zero friends except their wives and the husbands of their wives friends, it’s remembering to send out cards every holiday, it’s throwing birthday parties for the kid and knowing who to invite and what they’re allergic to, it’s going to PTA meetings and knowing what to say to build relationships, it’s supporting husbands through promotions and talking him through stress and managing his heart condition and his stress …
/r/PurplePillDebate24/09/23 08:34 PM
2

Glad people are cool with prostitutes raising their kids.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/09/23 04:05 AM
6

I literally have no clue what you just said.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/09/23 04:04 AM
4

How sad
/r/PurplePillDebate24/09/23 02:55 AM
16

Literally we are having a conversation on Reddit so every conversation is about potential people, not literal ones. Not sure why these women are any more “invisible” than any others referenced.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/09/23 02:53 AM
3

Women have been talking endlessly about emotional labor and what a strain it is and psychologists attribute real stress and even medical conditions to it, but if you say it’s fake, guess I should take your word for it.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/09/23 02:52 AM
21

Because just like women have to decide how we’re going to be seen by men, men have to make the same decision. If you want to date younger women and hook up, fine. But women your own age won’t take you seriously as a long-term partner.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/09/23 02:28 AM
3

People in general need other people. I can afford to live alone but I choose not to. I am safer physically if I live with someone else. There is someone else to remember to do chores or to do the chores I don’t want to do. When my rocking chair arrived in the mail, my housemate put it together for me and then I bought her sushi. People need people. We’ve been taught to rely on hetero coupledom but we just need other humans in general.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/09/23 02:21 AM
12

Depends. Is there a child? Then she’s actually providing childcare, cooking, cleaning, sex, emotional labor etc. Total market value? A whole lot higher than room and board.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/09/23 02:19 AM
4

“Your husband pays for everything.” Oh, like your very fancy paper towels and laundry detergent? Gee.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/09/23 02:17 AM
–

Men she perceives as better than him why?
/r/PurplePillDebate23/09/23 10:40 PM
–

You: one case exists ergo bitches be lyin
/r/PurplePillDebate23/09/23 10:35 PM
–

Uh women don’t go around mocking any guy under six feet and making cruel comments on their Instagrams.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/09/23 10:34 PM
–

You know that 2/3 of women are in the “30+” age bracket, right?
/r/PurplePillDebate23/09/23 10:33 PM
0

“Women don’t have relationships because mental illness so the solution is trust.” Not, women get sexually assaulted then develop trust issues so the solution is to prevent rape.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/09/23 04:22 AM
-1

I’ve accused 1 man of sexual harassment in my life. He was my professor. He grabbed my hand in class to demonstrate “romantic touch” and rested our clasped hands on my bare thigh. So guys, you know. Don’t touch your students. I’ve also accused one woman. She was my boss. She touched my knee and told me students overreport sexual assault, and I could report her for doing that if I wanted. Later she made an inappropriate comment and got passive aggressive when I refused to let her hug me good nigh…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/09/23 02:49 AM
1

You’re again developing a standard of behavior which conflates not being abusive, maintaining self-control, and communicating in the way you find most appealing. These are totally different buckets. You are entitled to do whatever you want with your own relationships, though I am not at all surprised that ND people find it rather difficult to maintain a relationship with you. That speaks to your personal relationship priorities and preferences. You have proceeded to generalize those personal pre…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/09/23 10:16 PM
1

Yeah but BPD is what happens when women experience abuse, and it’s not funny.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/09/23 04:41 AM
2

You’re actually describing a lot of very stereotypical behavior that NT people do all the time. All kinds of mental health issues cause the exact behavior you’re describing, notoriously. The exact phrase “passive aggressive behavior”was not invented to apply only to autistic people though you seem to think it was! Tbh you seem to be simultaneously patting yourself on the back for being “friends with so many autistic people” while condemning autistic people for…the exact same behavior that litera…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/09/23 04:39 AM
1

Avoid parties during the first two weeks. It’s the most dangerous.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/09/23 01:02 AM
2

This is ridiculous.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/09/23 12:54 AM
3

Don’t insult women with BPD.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/09/23 12:54 AM
2

The guy who went from flirtatiously giving me his phone number to insisting he just wanted to be friends because I wanted to have sex and he misconstrued that/felt his masculinity was threatened and then when I broke things off he called me a stalker? After he had been pursuing me romantically for a week? Was not nice. Never nice.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/09/23 12:47 AM
1

People will give you more chances depending on their self-esteem and where they are at in their lives. Attraction comes from lots of different factors though. A lot of people are hot from farther away but up close you see the cracks. Or they’re cruel. Or they have no character.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/09/23 12:41 AM
1

People should seek out others who share our values system. We convince ourselves that finding folks who share our identities means we will find people who also have the same values system. Very often, we’re totally wrong. One person’s Christianity means be kind to strangers and the downtrodden. Another person’s Christianity means hate gay people. You have to get to know someone and trust your own instincts in other to figure out who your people are.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/09/23 09:49 PM
3

As an autistic person, this isn’t true at all. I’ve done a lot of work over the past year to learn more about my autism and how to function in the world as well as how to advocate for my needs. It is still extremely hard at times. But it is just as hard to interact with other autistic or neurodivergent people with very different values or different personalities. Neurotypical people have a shorthand to avoid conflict that most autistic people ignore. That is why there is more conflict NT/AUT up …
/r/PurplePillDebate21/09/23 09:47 PM
1

I want people to be ethical, meaning honest and forthright and dignified. I don’t want people to date folks they aren’t attracted to or aren’t invested in.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/09/23 09:24 PM
–

People change. Most men have had casual sex at some point. I don’t date people who have a double standard and expect different from me.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/09/23 09:10 PM
–

If she has a high libido and enjoys sex she must not be able to commit—telling on yourself.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/09/23 09:09 PM
–

My sexuality is definitely not my greatest asset but you just said a lot about yourself.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/09/23 09:08 PM
0

I had a housemate who was 30 years old. He told me he didn’t was his clothes or his sheets unless his girlfriend reminded him. Sometimes went months without cleaning his sheets. He’d dated a 16 year old at 26 and she broke up with him. He used to scream at his girlfriend and call her lazy because she didn’t have a job-in the middle of Covid-in the US on an international visa. GF was beautiful and had just graduated with her PhD. Just saying.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/09/23 09:03 PM
–

“Accepting your own imperfections” is not code for “accepting you are average. No one agreed to live inside your judgment of their value.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/09/23 10:56 PM
0

That doesn’t actually make you the expert on “the plus size women’s experience” though.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/09/23 11:49 AM
0

This isn’t necessarily true. Guys say things like this but don’t have any experience actually dating as a plus size woman. Have you ever tried actually asking a woman what her experience is instead of telling her?
/r/PurplePillDebate20/09/23 11:19 AM
1

I have no idea what is even happening here but I do know absolutely that I have every intention of continuing to go after the extremely cute genderbending non-binary queer folks I find attractive thanks.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/09/23 10:39 AM
–

People are attracted to different things.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/09/23 09:17 AM
–

People fall in love with who they fall in love with. Quit telling men to play to their worst fears and build chaos into perfectly healthy relationships out of insecurities.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/09/23 08:53 AM
1

How foolproof is anything else? There are literally entire books teaching women how to avoid getting taken in by players. Do they “work”? Sorta. Some of the time. What works best, though, is what always works best: learn to recognize in others what you do yourself, and learn to see it coming. We all manipulate people. We all flirt to get out of doing what we don’t want to have to do, or to make other people give us what we want. We have all behaved unethically at times. We have all convinced som…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/09/23 08:46 AM
8

Guys ogle my body in public but would never date me if they knew my on paper weight. Breasts are weight, y’all.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/09/23 03:16 AM
8

Game recognizes game. You know if someone is playing you by learning the game.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/09/23 03:13 AM
2

The idea that men are out there being driven purely by intellect is laughable.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/09/23 02:10 AM
1

You seem to assume women with any degree of intelligence must hate our lives? ? Or maybe just women who don’t like you.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/09/23 01:10 AM
1

Absolutely. I have PTSD and depression is part of that. Want to know why? Because I was raped. Does that make you feel good to know? Because I kind of think I still get to be a person and participate in the community and talk and feel even if I was raped. I kind of think you try to use people’s trauma to silence them because you haven’t really thought too much about your own values or how trash they are.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/09/23 01:09 AM
2

Same thing. You just happen to look up to it.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/09/23 01:07 AM
1

Wow. That was quite the leap. Does being cruel to women get you off? You should really get that checked out before it gets worse.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/09/23 03:19 AM
10

There are literal frat bro contests about fucking the fattest women they can find. Therapists report the phenomenon of men cheating on their thin wives with fat women they’d never be seen with in public and every fat woman has a story about the guy who didn’t want to be seen with them in public. But I mean if you personally disagree I guess all those people must be mistaken lol
/r/PurplePillDebate19/09/23 02:29 AM
1

I’m an authority on certain things, yeah. I’m confident in my level of authority when it comes to ethics and gender. You’re clearly not otherwise you wouldn’t be attacking mine to take the heat off your own.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/09/23 02:27 AM
5

Girls look for daddies to take care of them. Women look for partners to collaborate.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/09/23 01:45 AM
12

Totally untrue. Plenty of men will fuck fat women in private or even deliberately pursue fat sex workers but bully fat women in public.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/09/23 01:35 AM
3

Women should be helping men learn to express their emotions rather than mocking them every time they try. Just saying.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/09/23 01:23 AM
1

If you can’t hear feedback, that is a red flag.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/09/23 10:30 PM
1

People absolutely don’t. Just try talking about chronic illness or sexual assault while dating. No matter how immediately relevant it is.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/09/23 10:26 PM
1

You need to stop making arbitrary categories to dodge actually talking about shitty male behavior.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/09/23 10:13 PM
3

People who use terms like “green flags” and rate women in the same sentence are exhibiting an awful lot of ahem bright red flags.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/09/23 04:39 AM
1

I was literally just unmatched on Tinder by a guy I had been talking to all day long because I told him I have a chronic illness. It is a physical illness. I am recovering. It literally has no impact on him except that I can’t do some specific physical activities he likes. I proposed we be fwb since there was obvious chemistry. He unmatched me. Literally this guy missed out on the opportunity to get paid by me, someone pretty awesome, because I…have a chronic respiratory disease. Like I’m sorry,…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/09/23 04:01 AM
–

Too many men understand dominance and submission as fixed roles that should be assumed forever and held in every situation. That’s just not in anyone’s best interest. Generally speaking, it is wisest for the person with the most knowledge and experience to lead. If that person is the man, great. Sometimes that person will be the woman. If so, her partner should gracefully let her take the lead. A woman with self-respect who is unafraid of her own power and authority will tell a man when he is wr…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/09/23 03:43 AM
1

Depends on the moment. Dismissing real world problems because someone is not being positive is cruel and entitled behavior.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/09/23 01:55 AM
1

I love this post. Completely agree. People over-invest in the idea of perfection then run at the first sign of conflict. Instead of seeing relationships as an opportunity to practice social skills like ethics and personal responsibility, people use relationships to dump on other people and run away from their problems and find new people to blame. It’s an attitude problem.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/09/23 01:54 AM
–

People should act in the way they would want others to act. That means everyone is responsible for intervening. If the physically large people nearby are men, they should intervene. If there is a woman nearby who knows martial arts or has a weapon, great. Others should call the police or yell for more help. Women absolutely should not expect to stand still and wring their hands shrieking.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/09/23 09:08 PM
3

Explain to me how women can be pursued by multiple attractive men but choose the one who is less physically attractive because she finds him more compelling. Humans find a multitude of factors attractive. This is not hard.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/09/23 05:10 PM
–

You: -describe me speaking as “a rant.” -define your personal boundaries as “most people’s boundaries.” -define a question being asked specifically with the intent to establish safe sexual boundaries as “crossing your boundaries.” Again: you are not a safe person to be engaging in sex. You are not a safe person to be in community. You should not be engaging with other human beings. You are incompetent at navigating human interaction with an intent towards establishing mutual boundaries. You need…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/09/23 07:40 PM
1

Me: “what makes women feel comfortable varies depending on the individual.” You: you just treated women like they are all the same. That is literally the complete opposite statement as what I said. Literally. The opposite words. So we are done now.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/09/23 06:28 PM
1

YOU feel uncomfortable so you have a right to refuse to answer. The fact that you don’t understand the difference between being asked questions vs “being interrogated” demonstrates you don’t understand how boundaries actually work. Everyone is uncomfortable discussing sex. Everyone struggles to do it in a way that feels respectful and organic. That is doubly true when people actually give a crap about consent or being trauma-informed. Your priority is clearly your comfort. Got it. My priority is…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/09/23 06:26 PM
–

Y’all not be comfortable enough with your sexual partners to ask them what type of sexual communication they need, before you start having sex. If you choose to have sex with people you can’t talk to about this stuff, that’s on you.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/09/23 04:42 AM
–

Ask. Ask her what she wants. Before the clothes come off.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/09/23 04:40 AM
1

I’ve never looked at another person since. I mean I’ll have an aesthetic reaction if they’re gone a long time and I’m really sad and lonely. But I’ve never gotten the happy feeling internally that I do from looking at them. There’s just no context.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/09/23 03:33 AM
–

We all want options. But if we are healthy, we want options so that we are more likely to find the right person. Not so we can just have more people who like us. The point is not to just have people like us and stop there.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/09/23 01:53 AM
1

“You have to realize that your sample size ASA WOMAN means nothing to my sample size as a man who has dated women.” I don’t know where to start. Literally I sincerely hope you remain single. For everyone’s sake.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/09/23 01:51 AM
1

It is the responsibility of both parties to communicate. It is the responsibility of both parties to create safety and to make sure that they are listening to each other. If a woman does not feel safe to communicate honestly, that is a man’s failure as much as hers. If a man does not listen, they both need to change. The real problem is posts like this one trying to assign blame to one party or the other. If two people have sex, they need to both take responsibility for offering each other pleas…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/09/23 12:16 AM
-2

Um it’s an issue with both, actually. It’s your job to learn to communicate in a way that works for women. Not her job to adapt to you.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/09/23 12:13 AM
0

Porn is not the problem. Some women look at rough porn too. The problem is men with unrealistic sexual expectations and the willingness to ignore women’s boundaries. Tbh the way to vet men is to develop strong boundaries and assert them early and often. Then look at how he responds.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/09/23 12:02 AM
1

What makes women feel comfortable varies depending on the woman. I am a queer bisexual woman who has done lots of work on my sexuality. I’m unusual, admittedly. But not THAT unusual. What makes women uncomfortable is when you treat us like a monolith.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/09/23 11:56 PM
1

You…are joking, right?
/r/PurplePillDebate15/09/23 11:54 PM
1

A weird person…or an average queer person? Idk. We walk in different circles. Sorry you feel the need to stigmatize and shame people who make consensual choices about how to navigate our sex lives that do not harm you in any way.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/09/23 11:54 PM
–

It’s amazing to me that people spend so much time trying to understand “desire” on a population level and so little time trying to help actual individual people understand and articulate what they want to themselves and to their partners.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/09/23 11:50 PM
–

Definitely not social injustice
/r/PurplePillDebate15/09/23 08:22 PM
5

I’m literally a woman my dude. Met a whole heap of ‘em. Even had a conversation or two. But keep talking, this is funny.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/09/23 08:01 PM
1

Depends. I feel like I grew older than 32 and suddenly men who were desperate for me wouldn’t give me the time of day. Literally it was that quick. And my body has not really changed. I made some bad choices, but nothing particularly different from before. Now it’s like…some days I feel like I put on the mask of someone younger and I still get treated like I’m “officially attractive” but then ultimately those same guys treat me like they can do better. Even if they’re like, the guy working the l…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/09/23 07:36 PM
1

Yeah. Those women suck.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/09/23 07:29 PM
1

Men need to realize that if she’s dating you, you’re allowed to want to have sex with her.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/09/23 07:28 PM
1

Men need to be open about what they want. In my experience there’s a lot of men “putting it all on the table” like feelings here are my feelings!!!! Then immediately running away if I don’t respond by doing whatever it is they expected me to do in their fantasy.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/09/23 07:27 PM
1

Women who are comfortable with ourselves and with our sexuality would respond well to this.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/09/23 07:24 PM
5

Um it absolutely would not. Women do this on Tinder. It’s why we like to talk for ages before meeting men. It’s also what men hate.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/09/23 07:24 PM
2

I definitely had the expectation that I would date in order to fall in love and get married. Men my age in my community seem to want to date to “have fun” ie have sex and maybe meet obligatory social expectations if necessary. So that’s not exactly compatible.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/09/23 06:30 PM
1

Y’all think there’s no such thing as individuality or self or soul. I feel sorry for you.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/09/23 04:59 PM
1

Attractiveness is not about what your face looks like. You just hate yourself and you hate your life and it shines right through.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/09/23 04:52 PM
5

Dudes like this: “all women have it so easy and also all women are Jennifer Lawrence circa The Hunger Games”
/r/PurplePillDebate15/09/23 04:51 PM
1

This is literally how human beings measure attractiveness. We don’t glance at someone’s face and imagine them as lines drawn on a page. We either meet someone while they’re doing things in their actual life or else we see photos of them in action. People can see you. We see the life you have lived. We see the choices you have made. If you want to be seen differently, make different choices and live differently.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/09/23 03:19 PM
15

Women literally opt out of dating in mass numbers. Women just don’t whine about it on Reddit.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/09/23 02:48 PM
6

“An average 120 pound woman in her late teens who is attractive” is…..not the average woman dude. We keep existing after we turn 25.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/09/23 12:29 PM
1

Y’all say shit like this then pay fat genderqueer sex workers $300/hr to pretend to be your girlfriends. Get over yourselves.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/09/23 04:58 AM
1

Appearance is more than just what someone looks like physically. Appearance is about fully occupying your life and maximizing your good qualities. It’s about knowing what your good qualities are. Why do people like you? Why do people have issues with you? Do you even know? What clothes look good on you? What activities make you feel sexy? Etc
/r/PurplePillDebate15/09/23 03:58 AM
–

She should pick someone who cares deeply about her.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/09/23 12:39 AM
2

I’m for 50/50
/r/PurplePillDebate14/09/23 12:14 AM
3

Women who are harshly critical of men because they have one trait or because they fit a category are women who need to feel superior. Why are you listening to them? They’re toxic.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/09/23 03:27 AM
6

Because it’s required for women. Because men require it.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/09/23 01:31 AM
5

You do realize how many professions require women to wear makeup simply to maintain their jobs? You think it’s “narcissistic” to work or?
/r/PurplePillDebate09/09/23 06:02 PM
1

People who think being skinny is the most important measure of attractiveness are zonked. I’m not thin or fit, and people literally stare at me and hit on me basically everywhere I go because I look proportional and I’m curvy and cute and I know how to dress. It’s happened since I was a kid. Some people just have it.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/09/23 02:55 PM
6

Many men have unrealistic expectations of what women look like and don’t understand what women look like without makeup.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/09/23 01:42 PM
2

That makes zero sense as a response to my comment.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/09/23 10:03 AM
-2

This is completely bizarre. No, women don’t care if you’re experienced. Women aren’t cars. You don’t need to “know your way around us.” You DO need to be comfortable with women and understand female anatomy. Sleeping with women won’t make that happen. Learning will.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/09/23 04:11 AM
1

Sophie’s whole thing was being a homebody and now his side wants to paint her as a parties. Ok?
/r/PurplePillDebate08/09/23 02:35 AM
3

Men feel just as deeply but often express their emotions by hiding or running away. Women are more direct and more willing to move on when things don’t work. Men emotionally spend a lot of time regressing, trying to worship women from afar and hoping their thoughts and feelings are conveyed silently.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/09/23 09:41 AM
4

This is really strange. “Tingles” are sexual attraction. Presumably women can differentiate between this and love, or else every heterosexual woman would cheat on every male partner with anyone she thought was hot.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/09/23 09:39 AM
1

People who treat dating like a marketplace where they sell their wares for the highest price deserve the soulless unions they will get.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/23 03:27 AM
2

I think that men who use the phrase “wife up” are telling on themselves.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/09/23 04:55 PM
1

We as a society don’t hold any members of other species to this absurd standard. We love our dogs and our horses. We cheer for whales or eagles whether they have children or not. We also only tend to be upset at women who don’t reproduce, not men.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/09/23 02:10 PM
10

Men get insecure because they blame themselves for everything and women get upset because being passive is freaking boring.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/09/23 01:52 AM
1

I’m not actually trying to “get you.” The fact you treat human interactions like someone needs to “win” is— WELCOME TO THE POINT. What I actually think is that you are not emotionally mature enough to be in a relationship. Maturity comes through choosing to grow up. You have not done that. You expect people to feel pity for you. I don’t feel sorry for you because you are lonely. I also don’t expect people to feel sorry for me. You see us as being in competition for pity. I see myself as a heroic…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/09/23 01:34 AM
2

Even with all that-I work on myself and people hit on me. So again-what’s your excuse?
/r/PurplePillDebate04/09/23 06:18 PM
1

I mean. I have a dissociative disorder from childhood trauma. I have complex ptsd. I have physical disabilities including a vomiting disorder and migraines and a connective tissue disorder that is slowly killing me. I’m probably the wrong person to talk to about being unlovable or unsexy.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/09/23 06:17 PM
1

I mean you keep dragging attention back to your pain but then insisting your pain is irreversible. This is a choice you’re making.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/09/23 03:07 PM
1

Why though?
/r/PurplePillDebate04/09/23 03:05 PM
2

Man: this lady is angry at me, let’s call her “triggered” and undermine her! Dude. I have PTSD. It’s not cute to refer to my symptoms so casually.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/09/23 03:03 PM
2

I would personally rather pay someone who I can trust to treat me well, rather than risk my physical well-being and my emotional safety with a male stranger.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/09/23 12:30 AM
1

Absolutely not. Controlling partner is a no-no.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/09/23 11:48 PM
1

So male strippers and male prostitutes should be normalized too, I take it.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/09/23 09:36 PM
1

I appreciate your good wishes. I’m recovering now, more or less, but very angry and upset that I would have had years more of a healthier lifestyle if my doctors had just…believed me? And done testing.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/09/23 03:41 AM
1

That literally happens. Men do this.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/23 10:03 PM
1

Yeah. As a domestic violence advocate, that’s not assault. Those women need a victim story.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/23 10:03 PM
1

This is too exhausting for me.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/23 09:11 PM
2

Men like you: “respect” means let me control you.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/23 09:10 PM
1

Talk to her. Reasonable people would understand your behavior in this context. If she doesn’t get it, she’s not mature enough for what your life contains.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/23 03:55 PM
–

You do realize that r*pe continues to be a threat even after women start dating you. I mean what am I saying? You’re obviously looking to date a plastic toy. So buy one.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/23 06:06 AM
–

Women often struggle with orgasm because they are in pain or psychologically traumatized from past experiences of sexual violence. Do you care if your partner is in pain?
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/23 03:25 AM
1

Thanks for the lesson on metaphors, I’ll go explain that to my two national creative writing award nominations. Good luck on figuring out how to be less rapey.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/23 03:19 AM
3

Funny how toxic men are under the impression that simply existing in public = an invitation.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/09/23 04:17 PM
2

Oh? Do you typically accost potential employers in the street? How terrifying.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/09/23 04:16 PM
0

Somebody posts this exact argument using slightly new words every single day. Get out of your own way.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/09/23 04:35 AM
3

You’re coercing women into talking to you and bragging about it.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/09/23 04:26 AM
2

A giant percentage of parents are big time abusive. It’s the parents’ job to not fuck their kids over.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/08/23 11:48 PM
1

You’re drawing lines based on what serves you.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/08/23 11:38 PM
1

I’ve never had trouble attracting sexual attention no matter what I weighed but plenty of men treated me like crap and justified it based on my weight. That’s on them.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/08/23 11:38 PM
2

I’ve been dealing with a list of chronic illnesses for most of my adult life. I’ve been so sick I couldn’t stop vomiting for months. I’ve had bronchitis for 6+ months every year. Would have been really great to get medical treatment earlier so I could maintain a healthy lifestyle.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/08/23 11:37 PM
1

Women are codependent and harm ourselves for our partner’s sake so men should too?
/r/PurplePillDebate31/08/23 04:03 PM
1

Better question: why do you want to appeal to the “average woman” if she wants you to repress your emotions and be unhealthy? Maybe don’t prioritize being in a relationship or having sex with literally anybody over actually being treated well. If you make that choice, that’s on you. There are toxic people of every gender. You can choose to be involved with them or not.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/08/23 04:02 PM
1

That just seems sad to me. A relationship should not require someone to have sex they don’t want to have. Men shouldn’t be so desperate for a relationship that they’re willing to go there.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/08/23 02:56 PM
3

Uh yeah completely. Boredom, thrill seeking, loneliness.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/08/23 12:57 AM
1

I don’t think partners should have to do this for each other. Sex toys exist.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/08/23 12:56 AM
1

Kkkkkk if you say so lol
/r/PurplePillDebate18/08/23 05:01 AM
0

Uh I have definitely been punished for making moves on men, even men who expressed sexual interest in me first. Men don’t want to give up control.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/08/23 03:45 AM
5

If the only reason you’re doing those things is to make someone else like you, and that person doesn’t even exist yet, you’re kind of missing the point. You’re not improving your actual self. You’re just improving your exterior. My guess is you’ve got crap from childhood you should be dealing with in therapy, you’ve got hobbies you want to pursue but you’re afraid to commit to, etc. Do those things. Then see what happens.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/08/23 03:06 AM
–

I mean thanks I guess. What’s the distinction between a “slut” vs someone who has hooked up sometimes?
/r/PurplePillDebate17/08/23 05:27 AM
1

Depends on the situation. Men tend to subconsciously assume that women will respond whenever they decide to approach us, no matter what is going on for us. Sometimes I feel bad physically. Sometimes I just don’t feel like talking. I mean even guys I know and like really turn me off when they seem to ignore me until they suddenly approach me with all this energy and expectation all at once. It’s overwhelming and really confusing. Just talk to us like we’re people.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/08/23 04:16 AM
–

As a r*pe survivor who has some pretty intense trauma—wtf? What is the line between “baggage” and life story? Is my chronic illness baggage? My migraines? My PTSD? Am I expected to never pursue love because I have had horrible things happen to me?
/r/PurplePillDebate17/08/23 04:10 AM
1

I mean I have definitely met male people who I was not aware I was attracted to until suddenly I realized I had been losing my shit for a week because of that attraction.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/08/23 03:04 AM
2

Depends on the situation. When I had close friends who I had a lot of intimacy with, I didn’t miss sex much. When I was very alone, sex felt more important.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/08/23 08:56 PM
1

People in general should not be BFFs with people at work. Don’t date them. Don’t hang out with them. Do your job then go home.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/08/23 08:51 PM
1

Literally there are multiple books written by Black scholars about the subject.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/08/23 08:26 PM
1

Men see what women do and infer what women want based on that. People do things because they feel socially obligated or intimidated or coerced or scared all the time.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/08/23 04:32 PM
4

Everyone manipulates but our generation of guys learned that it’s badass and admirable to do horrible things to women to get the upper hand. So like—the guy who made plans to hook up with me, didn’t show up, then said if I was mad at him then I could just avoid him till I felt better. After he’d been pursuing me hard for a week.? The guy (same guy) who responded to me texting him that things were over by saying I was “acting like we were in a relationship (??)” and later that he was “embarrassed…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/08/23 01:22 AM
0

“Getting a guy’s attention” as though because a guy stares at your tits for 10 seconds he’s interested in dating you. Wtf
/r/PurplePillDebate15/08/23 11:34 PM
-1

The culture of hating fat women is actually historically rooted in anti Blackness and anti semitism.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/08/23 11:33 PM
14

People who are in pain feel vulnerable. People who feel vulnerable are more emotionally sensitive. Partners who are kind do not condemn their partners for their vulnerability.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/08/23 07:40 AM
1

Lol every fat woman with a male partner is just invisible to these guys
/r/PurplePillDebate15/08/23 05:45 AM
3

This is codependency.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/08/23 02:03 AM
0

Lol no. This is just some toxic nonsense.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/08/23 02:03 AM
–

So much of men’s ideas about a woman’s sexual history is imaginary or fantasy or projection. I’m a very curvy woman. Clothes look more revealing on me because of my body type. I’m comfortable talking about my sexuality and the fact that I’ve had casual sex, and I don’t pretend to be a prude just to gain social status points. None of that means I’ve had a lot of sex. I have not. Objectively I have not. I’m actually recovering from a history of sexual abuse and it’s taken me a long time, like till…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/08/23 01:31 AM
2

Women are very different. Women want to feel mirrored. We want men to express desires that feel mutual. So guys—be in touch with your own actual feelings. Reach for her hand because you want to touch her. Kiss her because you want to. Reach out physically because you’re feeling a connection and chances are she will be too.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/08/23 12:28 AM
0

Lol you seem extremely judgmental. That seems like a giant red flag.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/08/23 06:16 AM
0

I like knowing my astrological sign and sometimes I do tarot readings. It feels fun and girly. Like going on a type of mental retreat. To me it’s about knowing where stuff belongs in your life. Like I want someone who brushes their teeth but not all day long. I want someone who eats breakfast but not at 2 AM or 4 PM. I want someone who kisses me but not to shut me up. Etc. Anything as a pathology is uncool.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/08/23 01:01 AM
1

Ugh. I mean—I want to think I can trust my professors! But clearly…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/08/23 12:32 AM
1

No worries, I was clearly incorrect. Not medical but still textbooks idk. Sociology type classes. Probably the same one conference taught the same few professors who taught their students….
/r/PurplePillDebate13/08/23 12:32 AM
1

Men: Women only want hot guys so obviously the reason she rejected me is because I’m not hot enough. Also men: Ignore literally all feedback they get from women about why we reject them. Bottom line: You don’t want women. You want to date women but still treat women like shit.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/08/23 02:35 AM
1

Lol men were never placed in institutions, sexually experimented on, forced to undergo hysterectomies or “brain surgery” or what passed for it in the 1800s. Phyllis Chesler wrote a book about it. Every year or two there’s an article about it. And yeah—reading.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/08/23 04:03 PM
2

I stand corrected. Thank you. The information I was sharing (“information”) has been repeated in several classrooms I’ve been in, often by professors or textbooks.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/08/23 05:29 AM
1

Men fantasize about finding a woman who will be pure, untouched, virginal, adoring, and undemanding. It is an incest fantasy. It is a pedophiliac fantasy. It is perverted. Women fantasize about finding a hero who will save us from having to grow up and face both our power and our sexuality. Ironically, a romance with an older man is profoundly eroticized yet not particularly sexual. Because the fantasy is about power. It’s about never having to claim power. It’s about never having to be sexual.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/08/23 03:30 AM
1

Funny story, when I turn men down they usually just find someone else to fuck but fully expect me to still be interested in going out with them. Guess how that turns out.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/08/23 03:00 AM
3

They released a male birth control pill awhile back. Had the same side effects as the female birth control pill. Men refused to take it.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/08/23 02:50 AM
1

It is absurd that you are assigning numbers to other men in this way.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/08/23 02:45 AM
1

It’s not insecurity. It’s about how some people carry themselves. I’ve been that person. I’ve also had that partner. There’s no excuse. It is very different to simply be attractive and be someone who others are attracted to, as opposed to being someone who struggles with boundaries or someone who maintains friendships with multiple exes and people they have slept with. I don’t personally want a long-term partner who has a community built of exes. That does not mean I am insecure, I think. It jus…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/08/23 02:38 AM
1

Good luck!
/r/PurplePillDebate10/08/23 01:55 AM
2

OP, your post is gross, but it clarified some things for me. Nice Guys (TM) absolutely do approach me, as a disabled and plus size woman, to “practice.” Where you’re shooting your fellow men in the face is, guess how that makes me respond when I’m approached by a guy who really does want me?
/r/PurplePillDebate10/08/23 12:30 AM
1

Totally agree
/r/PurplePillDebate10/08/23 12:18 AM
1

That’s your kink I suppose
/r/PurplePillDebate10/08/23 12:11 AM
1

Again: these are four examples out of the dozens of guys I have been romantically or sexually involved with. Respectfully, the prompt asked me to describe a specific situation out of my dating and romantic history. Which you have now seized upon to suggest a repeating pattern. None of these situations even have anything in common with each other except being treated like shit, which I know—and which I articulated to the guy at the time, by the way. Welcome to the idea that sometimes people behav…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/08/23 12:10 AM
1

Me neither.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/08/23 09:21 PM
1

I don’t know what that means but it definitely sounds like you’re blaming me for the behavior of grown men. I’m not personally responsible for the behavior of various individuals who I met across a 20 year span.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/08/23 09:16 PM
1

This is an extremely long way to justify physical abuse and claim that holding the line against physical abuse is “immaturity.” It’s not.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/08/23 09:15 PM
3

I still ended up bleeding the next day. But then I texted him that basically if he had put it in even “accidentally” it would have been SA because literally that’s SA by definition. So I scared the s**t out of him.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/08/23 05:52 AM
1

I don’t personally intend to do this but I see this all the time. Mostly because a lot of women have no idea what psychos we become over time about dating. And most men know exactly what they’re worth on the dating market whereas most women are way off base and round way, way up until it’s way too late. But. Women also waste years on guys that treat us like crap.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/08/23 02:53 AM
1

No one discovers deeper feelings through sex. Except in movies. And many criminals feign shyness to get into our pants. So it is understandably hard for us to trust.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/08/23 02:42 AM
1

Yeah. Totally.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/08/23 02:33 AM
3

Uh this totally ignores the fact that a whole lot of women need to feel SAFE and men never even need to think about that. Also I think men who make posts like this automatically assume every other guy on the planet is as emotionally tuned out as you are. They’re not. I’ve met them.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/08/23 02:09 AM
2

I have met guys who seem to believe these things. They are successful with extremely vulnerable women who bounce from man to man and only sleep with men when they are drunk. Or with very psychologically damaged women who don’t really have personalities and are very quiet and compliant.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/08/23 01:55 AM
1

Except that people don’t wear their tolerance on their faces. And people often have a different tolerance level personally than what they inflict on other people. As a marginalized woman, I have more than once been accused of boundary violations from privileged white men who were actively pursuing me. I’m talking singing me romantic songs, trying to get me into bed, pursuing me. But they wanted to be in charge. And on top. The minute I took control, let alone tried the apparently very extreme st…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/08/23 01:43 AM
2

Yeah because I was very clear that I was being idealized and that they did like me but that they liked BJs more. And at the time I was also very traumatized plus I had been raised in a very sexually conservative household and I blamed myself for a lot of the trauma. I just knew I had a long road ahead. So I felt exiled from romance based on what happened to me.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/08/23 01:24 AM
3

One guy tried to put his dick in my rear. Without asking or any form of communication. He pretended it was an accident. So that happened. Another guy kept trying to convince me to let him take off the condom and I was pretty sure he was about to just take it off. Another guy was in a relationship, which I knew. But actually it turned out he was poly. But he just accidentally forgot to tell me before trying to seduce me. So that was kind of a big oops. Another guy was in a committed relationship …
/r/PurplePillDebate09/08/23 01:21 AM
1

Lol “it’s only rpe if I personally have given it a gold star.” Dude, I have personally been through CSA and violent rpe and I have the r*pe kit to prove it. Back off.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/08/23 09:33 PM
1

Yeah except no one has the same idea what that means so maybe quit lol-ing like ethics is not something that has been debated for thousands of years in every culture since the beginning of the species.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/08/23 09:31 PM
3

There is a book called “Our Guys.” A male reporter wrote that book. It is about the rpe of a girl with Down’s Syndrome by a group of football players who grew up beside her in a small community. He dissects the community and how it failed to hold the “guys” accountable for their behavior for years. How one of the football players would masturbate in class and the teachers just looked the other way How the football players would throw house parties at the homes of girls they didn’t like and trash…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/08/23 09:28 PM
1

Women are regularly told they are accountable for male acts of violence. That is the entire thinking behind girls’ dress codes. How are boys expected to learn accountability?
/r/PurplePillDebate08/08/23 09:22 PM
1

That woman physically abused you, A. Your devotion to her is not normal or healthy. Seek help. I mean that sincerely. Second—being emotionally or psychologically abused by partners is real pain. And it’s not ok. I want men to be ok. A man can be strong and still need support.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/08/23 09:20 PM
1

So in fact it means certain categories of things that manifest to greater or lesser degree. Not every autistic person has every category. For example a lot of autistic people have sensory overload problems. Not every autistic person does. And most autistic people experience that overload or sensitivity in only certain senses. Autism by definition includes “social and communication difficulties” but that is like…wtf does that mean or look like? What are the exact symptoms? What are the observable…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/08/23 09:18 PM
1

Lol what? Miscommunication is no one’s fault. If you’re looking at relational interactions like somebody’s to blame, then IMO you’re not ready to be in a relationship. People misunderstand each other sometimes. But assuming someone has to be at fault and someone has to take the blame means you can’t ever talk freely about what happened and get to the other side of it.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/08/23 09:13 PM
1

Good question. I learned that I’m demisexual so I just don’t want to connect that way until there’s trust. Also because of both my trauma history and my disabilities I need some trust established and some conversation before sex to make it safe. It’s also just my personal preference. But also—-you know what, I just want an actual relationship with people. And men tend to view me as a sex object because I have big breasts. Which is fucked up. I’m learning to present myself differently. But I also…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/08/23 09:04 PM
1

That is extremely sad. I was 19 years old. They were that age bracket. And the sick thing is that women learn early to lie about sex.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/08/23 09:01 PM
2

This. Also demisexual. I’m very curvy so—same. But why would I want to sleep with random men?
/r/PurplePillDebate08/08/23 09:00 PM
1

1/4 women in general have been SA’d. Women in social justice circles are just the ones who talk about it
/r/PurplePillDebate08/08/23 08:41 PM
1

It was extremely frustrating. Sigh.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/08/23 08:39 PM
2

Happens a lot in social justice circles. “Oh I actually don’t wear makeup.” “Oh I’m not into material possessions.” “Oh I don’t care what I weigh.” “Oh I don’t shave anymore why bother.” Etc.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/08/23 07:52 AM
2

These posts are so ridiculous sometimes. Like who goes around trying to get casual sex from strangers just to prove how attractive you are to an audience of one. Cuz the last time I did that, my mental health was horrible.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/08/23 06:18 AM
2

A guy cried in front of me on a trip. I’d just met him a few days before. I had a crush on him already. Him crying was a good excuse to hug him. Then I got turned on from hugging him and felt guilty and physically distanced myself because we were in the Holocaust museum and I felt sacreligious to be thinking about sex. Then he felt rejected. So then it got bad. But not because he cried.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/08/23 06:13 AM
13

I’m a woman and I was definitely taught that if I was a good girl then men would treat me well. Instead they dumped me for women who would have sex. Then dumped those girls for the girls who were less work. So I learned that my priority needs to be something other than whether or not men like me.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/08/23 07:31 PM
1

Okay? Sure? Until then. Which is helpful to no one since everyone has a different idea of what harassment is and generally speaking the person who gets called out for it is the person with the least social status. So yeah—don’t violently stalk people. But otherwise, I’m not all that worried.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/08/23 05:19 AM
5

Depends. If you know what you want and have experienced it, why not insist on it? People should go after what they truly want.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/08/23 02:42 AM
3

I mean they’re definitely still interested though. That’s what I’m saying. It’s not like they go from being interested to not. It’s like they become interested, WAY overinvest, come at me with all this energy and intensity—like, I’ve gone from just sitting next to a guy talking or just having a nice time to him suddenly playing sexy music and cooking me a meal and like Seducing Me…or serenading me…or writing me a romantic poem. More than once. More than twice. I have liked each of those guys. I …
/r/PurplePillDebate07/08/23 02:13 AM
0

Your last line really says it all, doesn’t it? You want to matter independently from your actual contribution? Fine. You can matter as an idea. Meanwhile Joe over here can matter as an actual human being. Also dude: contributing a diaper change or doing the dishes in the house you live in is not “giving a woman something.” That baby is half yours. That house is half yours. Those obligations are half yours. If you don’t understand that, you aren’t mature enough to deserve love.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/08/23 01:54 AM
3

Guys who act responsible and caring. Who take care of themselves and those around them. Who notice others’ needs and feelings. What sucks is that in the past, when men have started liking me back, it’s pretty clear that their own dating trauma has been triggered. So it’s like I watch them morph from these caring, kind men to petty, petulant, selfish tyrants who treat everything I do like an attack. It does not make me want to be around them. It makes me want to go back to being friends right qui…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/08/23 01:45 AM
–

Right but repeating these terms is helpful to No one. Like please don’t.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/08/23 11:29 PM
2

Lol I guess call a woman stupid when nothing else sticks. Gotta make yourself feel superior somehow. Otherwise the mediocrity would settle in…then the depression…then the crushing reality.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/08/23 11:28 PM
1

Seriously! I don’t care what gender you are, you’re still talking over the actual people in this actual thread who are also autistic and who happen to have skills you don’t have. Like. Autism is a spectrum disorder. Apparently you forgot that every single person on the spectrum does not have the exact same brain that you do.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/08/23 11:27 PM
1

Love exists here. In the non-abstract world. You want to live in your own invented fantasy? Fine. The rest of us will be over here dealing with bills and diapers and late night feedings and condoms and all the other crap that you’re too much of a special snowflake to handle.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/08/23 11:18 PM
–

Mmh the phrasing “ugly, disfigured” could perhaps be improved upon?
/r/PurplePillDebate06/08/23 11:10 PM
2

So many men are so busy searching women for any evidence of attraction that they forget to actually listen to the words coming out of our mouths. Or pay attention to the obvious signals. Women are not wildebeest in the wilds of Africa. We don’t operate according to some complex social code. We have feelings and emotions that come and go like everyone else. Part of autism that people often are unaware of is actually being hypersensitive to changes in emotions or mood. Take some guys who feel desp…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/08/23 10:47 PM
1

Oooh not all
/r/PurplePillDebate06/08/23 10:40 PM
–

Maybe don’t call disfigured women “ugly”? People harmed in tragic accidents or scarred in the line of duty deserve respect.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/08/23 10:39 PM
-2

I think women are taught to reflect on what responsibility we have for interpersonal interactions and why they fail. Men in our society are not taught to understand their social interactions as their fault in the same way. So when social interactions go wrong, men tend to shrug it off or blame the other person. That tendency doesn’t go away when the person is autistic. Like, I am also autistic. But I have narrowed down certain skills that I know I struggle with and I am working to improve those …
/r/PurplePillDebate06/08/23 10:37 PM
3

Lmao that’s what you’re describing, disturbing lack of awareness aside. Good luck to ya
/r/PurplePillDebate06/08/23 09:00 PM
1

Dude. Autism means all kinds of things and manifests all kinds of ways. Are you seriously mansplaining my disability right now?
/r/PurplePillDebate06/08/23 08:57 PM
3

I have a unique take on this question. I’ve spent the last five years fighting a serious illness. My body is consequently a mess. I have physical symptoms I can’t control, which have interfered with my earning potential, my ability to exercise (vomiting blood tends to do that), and even made my hair fall out. So do I get to be loved or not? All of these things would make me “unlovable” in the eyes of a lot of men. The phenomenon of men leaving their wives, like their actual committed partners of…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/08/23 08:57 PM
2

“Willing to lay down your life” in the abstract is a lot less useful than you might think.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/08/23 08:47 PM
1

“To a lot of guys on the spectrum” ie autistic people? Cuz I’m autistic and yeah it is.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/08/23 08:45 PM
4

If the “average” guy is a sociopath who treats women like shit, the average guy sucks.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/08/23 08:42 PM
1

Uh my god is prolly not someone you’d like much
/r/PurplePillDebate06/08/23 03:32 AM
1

OP, take a Sociology course.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/08/23 02:23 AM
1

Good luck with…all that. I took Bio from an actual working biologist, I’m good thanks!
/r/PurplePillDebate06/08/23 02:20 AM
–

You need to call yourself “daddy” to feel like a real man. I feel so very sorry for you.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/08/23 02:19 AM
0

This comment makes zero logical sense. See: the existence of birth control. Humans are more than a bunch of genes strung together. And no genuine biologist is under the impression that the most important motivation in human life is reproduction.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/08/23 01:59 AM
1

Literally why does anyone think the goal of life is to have as many healthy offspring as possible.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/08/23 01:28 AM
-10

1/4 women are raped by men and women make less $ than men doing the same jobs in every field so sorry life hurts your feelings sometimes.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/08/23 01:26 AM
1

The idea that “differences that will never be the same” means “battle for control”.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/08/23 01:25 AM
0

Men don’t benefit from knowing what they feel if they don’t have the tools to deal with those feelings.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/08/23 01:23 AM
1

Yeah, I don’t disagree. A lot of women infantilize the men they date and it’s gross.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/08/23 01:19 AM
1

Depends. As someone with two Masters degrees I would feel uncomfortable dating a man with significantly less education than me. In part because these men often seem very insecure about being involved with me and in my experience they are more likely to f-k around or hurt me due to their insecurities. But I would be interested in a man with a blue collar job who had real talent and made significant money. I’m working alongside indie filmmakers rn for example and a lot of them have blue collar day…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/08/23 12:30 AM
3

There is no difference between having a sexual relationship with someone who is “experienced” or not and it’s a big red flag for you to frame it this way. Insecure men often envision sexually experienced women as terrifying but that’s about your perspective. People who are comfortable with our sexuality enjoy playing and experimentation with any new partner. There is no point where someone is done with that and wants predictability unless that’s just their personal sexual preference, in which ca…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/08/23 11:47 PM
2

Literally it just seems like every time women have a single negative feeling y’all want to make a thing about it.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/08/23 11:15 PM
2

What a bizarre thing to complain about. Deal with your emotions. Stop making everything about how women are awful.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/08/23 11:14 PM
1

Literally spent 2 hours talking to a guy on Tinder last night. Woke up and he had unmatched me. It’s dating apps. Everyone is terrible. This is not a women thing. Dude.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/08/23 07:04 AM
1

Yeah also don’t be an idiot. I spent 20 minutes talking to a guy in person the other day and he left it by saying if I came back to the store I should come find him. Like not to be a jerk but I am a decent looking woman with 2 Masters degrees and he is someone who works at Safeway so no I am not going to chase his ass down next time I wander into the grocery store wtf.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/08/23 05:27 AM
0

I encourage men to set healthy boundaries for themselves. Toxic men set boundaries for women. Healthy boundary: I cannot talk to you right now because I feel overwhelmed. Out of respect to you, I will also stay out of your space. Unhealthy boundary: I cannot talk to you right now because you’re acting crazy, but I feel comfortable behaving passive aggressively towards you even if that negatively impacts you.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/08/23 04:22 AM
1

I think you learn more from friendships than from short romances.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/08/23 03:52 AM
1

Sometimes we just need to grow up and grow into ourselves.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/08/23 02:38 AM
1

It seems like instead of attempting to learn what is essentially a set of skills, you are on Reddit getting defensive thinking the whole world is out to get you. So yeah. I do see why this isn’t really working out for you.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/08/23 02:37 AM
1

Um I’m not “putting you down” I am stating a fact. Objectively there are a wide variety of ways to communicate attraction and there are a zillion YouTube videos and romance novels that teach just that. I am an actual autistic person. I am also someone with major PTSD from childhood trauma. I have actually had to learn how to do this.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/08/23 02:36 AM
1

Autistic women exist and would totally date autistic men.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/08/23 02:33 AM
1

I think many women are messed up from sexual violence and blame it on high standards so we have an excuse not to date and confront our romantic issues. Actually. And most men don’t want to deal with “damaged” women, without taking accountability for the reality that we didn’t exactly get this way on our own. This isn’t complicated. It’s just hard.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/08/23 02:17 AM
1

It’s really really not but I’m understanding more now why you are alone.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/08/23 01:09 AM
2

Me: “I have studied this thing in academic classrooms in some of the top universities in this country for 6 years.” You: “Pseudohistory!” Yeah ok.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/08/23 01:08 AM
1

Because tbh it seems like you’re choosing to live in solitude then complaining about it.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/08/23 01:07 AM
1

Are you saying people don’t want to hang out with you? Or you don’t want to hang out with them?
/r/PurplePillDebate05/08/23 01:06 AM
4

I don’t want to sleep with every single male person I think is nice to look at. Most people get less attractive the longer I talk to them. Men especially.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/08/23 12:31 AM
1

It’s hard for women to know if shy guys like us.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/08/23 03:41 AM
1

People who call other people “obese”
/r/PurplePillDebate04/08/23 03:39 AM
1

Um as an autistic woman who is super curvy and gets looked at and hit on regularly but has dated very seldom, I used to think I was ugly and everyone was staring at me because I was ugly. Then I realized everyone was staring at me because they thought I was cute and I was confused. Then I realized I’m autistic, like extremely autistic, plus I’m very traumatized to the point of barely being able to function around other people. So yeah I don’t date much. But not because I’m ugly.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/08/23 03:36 AM
2

I’m not really going to argue whether patriarchy like. Exists. Or whether referencing history is “pseudo historic” because you make up words when you feel defensive. Good luck.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/08/23 03:25 AM
2

Yeah that’s gross. I got nothing. Ew.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/08/23 02:43 AM
1

You could change that. That is a choice.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/08/23 02:32 AM
1

Given the wide variety of environmental factors that act on a woman’s body over the course of her life, this is some terrifying shit.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/08/23 02:31 AM
3

Um it would be really great if people in general would not be ableist or treat disability like a monolith.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/08/23 02:29 AM
1

I think assuming that all people make the same choices for the same reasons is bizarre. I literally have told people “hooking up has helped me heal from my trauma by making me feel empowered over my sexuality again” and they have looked me in the eye and said, “nah.” Those people are usually women and they are usually very judgmental about other women because it makes them feel superior. I think people make decisions for all kinds of reasons and those reasons should be respected.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/08/23 12:45 AM
5

There’s no objective way to measure that. In fact given the reality that women were literally institutionalized for reading, contradicting their husbands, and having sex outside of wedlock for 300 years of Western history; married off as teenagers for millennia, burned as witches; etc suggests we’re much harder to control. Men have fought much harder to control us and have resorted to insane cruelty and violence. Whereas controlling men has been pretty easy.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/08/23 08:42 AM
3

Hypersexual based on the fact they had se with you. Huh.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/08/23 08:36 AM
3

EW
/r/PurplePillDebate03/08/23 08:36 AM
2

The feeling is mutual
/r/PurplePillDebate03/08/23 08:35 AM
–

Ew
/r/PurplePillDebate03/08/23 08:34 AM
8

There’s more social cost for women who break social convention.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/08/23 08:33 AM
2

Oh definitely not
/r/PurplePillDebate03/08/23 08:32 AM
–

I’m not that hot but I have high standards and men like me more once they get to know me.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/08/23 08:03 AM
1

Yeah. I know.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/02/23 10:06 PM
2

What are you even talking about? Why are you describing men as creepy for being nervous? Men are allowed to have emotions. Chill.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/02/23 04:23 AM
14

I feel pressure not to act overly invested. I feel like guys want to pursue women. They want to flirt but they also don’t want to feel pressured. And while they want to see you as sexy, they don’t like the idea that you’ve ever had any sexual identity before them, which is a hard line to walk. Honestly in the culture I was raised in, most guys were raised in a religious culture that was really patriarchal and taught them to blame women for everything and taught them a lot of crazy ideas about wo…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/02/23 04:18 AM
1

I mean teaching girls that sexuality is unacceptable in women is not ok.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/02/23 02:12 AM
4

Oh but he let his gf do it for him
/r/PurplePillDebate26/02/23 02:11 AM
1

No I didn’t mean grooming like grooming, but like conditioning. It’s “normal,” but still not ok.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/02/23 01:18 AM
7

An awful lot of men expect their wives to oh Idk give BIRTH. So that’s, you know, labor.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/02/23 01:12 AM
10

I lived with a 30 year old PhD student who laundered his sheets every few MONTHS.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/02/23 01:10 AM
5

Dude. Women are “expected” to WORK full-time. So that’s new.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/02/23 01:09 AM
1

But we’ve all been groomed basically from birth not to want sex. I mean when I was a teenager I couldn’t think about anything but sex. But then assault, abuse…you know? So speaking for myself, I was the horniest person I knew as a teen, just about.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/02/23 01:02 AM
2

Sex and physical intimacy can be separate. Physical intimacy can lead to sex. Physical intimacy can lead to orgasms and sexy fun that’s not intercourse but just as satisfying, men need to get more creative and stop seeing any non P in V orgasm as a “failure.” Men need to understand that Women’s libido is influenced by our sense of safety and trust, and if we don’t feel physically safe or emotionally considered then we won’t feel sexy. Men feel entitled to sex regardless how we’re feeling and tha…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/23 11:48 PM
4

I wish women would: Stop accepting ridiculously awful behavior from men and blaming other women for it. Stop slut-shaming other women out of insecurity. Not pursue romantic or sexual attention from men as an emotional pick-me-up. Not take pride in their ability to manipulate men.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/23 11:42 PM
3

A giant percentage of men leave their wives with cancer. And there’s a reason it’s a stereotype for men to leave in middle age and find a 20-year-old. But sure.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/23 11:34 PM
2

It’s based on endless anecdotes, actual statements…oh and studies and mainstream articles in 2009…2020…2021…and that’s just the first 10 or so Google results, and I’m feeling lazy.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/23 11:32 PM
1

I agree. The part I take issue with isn’t the talking with, it’s when women answer the question “what advantages do women have” with “well I have these advantages, so surely all women…” I think men are actually substantially more aware of the fact that a very small percentage of men benefit from patriarchy, and how unfair that is. It’s part of how the men’s rights movement was able to coalesce so fast. Part of the battle feminism is still fighting is to point out that a lot of the gains women wi…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/23 11:30 PM
1

Being given the opportunity would probably help. Like maybe don’t do your grand declaration, pause 45 seconds, then run off. Just a thought. I mean it’s classic right? Both of these guys were afraid of rejection, but also afraid of potentially invading my space, so they didn’t touch me. But I, as a queer disabled fat woman, am um also afraid of rejection, so I did not touch them either, for fear of above. I would argue that a big part of what happened is venue. Public declarations in public spac…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/23 11:23 PM
0

How on earth would any of us know what a “healthy woman” looks like?
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/23 11:18 PM
2

Everything does, indeed, revolve around my reproductive organs. You have done a great job of summing up your views on women. Men “invented” germs, well done you, while women were actively banned from literally every single medical school, but no worries, we found other ways to practice medicine—while men were “inventing” the ice pick lobotomy and the gas chamber and the atomic bomb. cue slow clap
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/23 08:56 AM
2

Oh, and if your illness makes you fat—even if it literally is cancer—no pity for you.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/23 08:53 AM
0

That all points to what I’m saying, no? In fact, cancer nurses are specifically taught to warn their married women patients that they might find themselves single before too long. Husbands notoriously leave when their wives get cancer. The reverse is not true. There is no cultural mandate of care for sick or disabled women.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/23 08:52 AM
1

Depends. What does she actually need? YOU need sex. Cool! What does SHE need? Here’s how relationships work: you give the other person what they need, then they give you what you need.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/23 08:25 AM
-1

The very fact that you don’t know and are speculating but have no evidence to present says it all.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/23 07:54 AM
-1

Except historically it’s the exact inverse. White men don’t protect Black women, they violate and harm them. Men in general don’t care for disabled women, especially mentally disabled women. These comments are limited.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/23 07:54 AM
1

“Invent” in this sentence is doing an awful lot of heavy lifting. Clearly you’re discounting the fact that every opportunity women actually have had to rule, “invent” whatever the f that means, or do anything else, we’ve been stellar at it. Meanwhile you seem to be drawing a wide stroke across societies where women were not legally permitted to “invent,” were never even taught to read, not allowed to go to school, sold off into marriage at 15…then shrugging your shoulders and saying, “oh but the…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/23 07:20 AM
0

I suppose in both cases, I felt like I was being asked for this like giant declaration, in response to theirs. But the first didn’t treat me well and the second wasn’t really available. So I also just didn’t really want to respond.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/23 05:42 AM
1

Hmm. I think that makes sense. The guy who cooked me dinner did say once that cooking was his love language. I mean I knew he was trying to love me. But he had a committed partner, and at the time I didn’t know he was poly. So it was also a communication issue—and he was/is the type of person who seemed to “love” a lot of people. I felt romanced, but not “special.”
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/23 05:41 AM
0

It makes me sad when it’s not even rejection! Sometimes it’s just SURPRISE. It’s happened twice now where a guy I was genuinely really interested in sprung something big on me, in both cases singing me a song, and kinda cooking me dinner the second time, and I just didn’t know what to do. The first time, I just smiled at him but didn’t say anything and then he ran away and wouldn’t talk to me the next day or talk about it the next day at all and like…but WHY? And the second one, I think he thoug…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/23 05:19 AM
-1

Most of these statements believe “women” means “thin young able-bodied white”. Y’all. Marginalized women do not have these advantages.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/23 04:12 AM
0

Plenty of people see Black women, fat women, and poor women as threats.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/23 04:11 AM
1

I’m disabled and a fat woman and this is absolutely not true for me. Try using a Walker at 30, see if this is still true.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/23 04:11 AM
1

You don’t think perhaps 1/4 being raped and 50 million experiencing autoimmune diseases and 20 million experiencing PCOS etc etc might have some impact on libido?
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/23 04:10 AM
0

See, this post started off sounding reasonable, then somehow became about why women shouldn’t try to invent? Or how women aren’t inventing? Without thinking about, oh, things like how venture capitalists only want to fund men? Or the various exposes on the misogynistic culture at Uber etc etc etc?
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/23 04:08 AM
1

This definitely depends on other factors than just being female. Black women are expected to be “strong” and disabled women deal with unbelievable s**t.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/23 04:06 AM
-1

I think men have been encouraged to become sensitive, which is good, but they have not been equally encouraged to develop healthy boundaries, which is bad. Many, many men struggle with rejection, even extremely minor rejection—even minor criticism from a woman they like. They struggle with things that people just need to learn to deal with in order to navigate emotional relationships with any real stakes. None of this is to say women have it all figured out by the way. I’m just answering the que…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/23 03:00 AM
6

“Men are capable of unconditional love” (as long as she still turns them on) is not unconditional love, my dudes. Next thing you know, she gets cancer or she’s paralyzed in a car wreck, and he’s gone. Found the condition!
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/23 02:44 AM
35

Agreed. I’ve made this mistake. A lot of men who are ugly are in fact also terrible to women but believe they are good to women.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/02/23 11:12 PM
1

I don’t disagree. It’s not valued as much anymore.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/02/23 04:41 AM
28

Women die having kids. Often. That seems like a good reason not to.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/02/23 04:30 AM
1

I DO have integrity. No one wants to deal with people who have integrity.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/02/23 04:13 AM
1

Also known as “an opinion” lmfao
/r/PurplePillDebate23/02/23 05:21 AM
0

You live a tragic life. Dunno what to tell you.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/02/23 04:14 AM
0

Again—you should share with the person you’re with, and people who have been through serious shit can’t just turn it off. Would you expect a military vet to just…share about it once, and then never again? Especially if it just happened recently? Especially if they are now missing a limb? Of course not. Yet women are expected to move on from rape, and everyone is expected to move on from child abuse, as though it never happened. That’s not fair and it’s not how complex trauma works. If you don’t …
/r/PurplePillDebate23/02/23 02:21 AM
1

Telling someone you love about your trauma is not “trauma dumping.” It is sharing. Why are men ashamed about being in therapy? If you can’t trust the people you’re with, don’t be with them.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/23 09:29 PM
3

No. People should be more ethical and treat others better.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/23 05:21 AM
-2

Sorry, but that’s nonsense. None of these situations works perfectly for everyone every time. I’m a woman, and I’ve had therapists who were bigoted against my Jewish culture, therapists who overshared or were inappropriate, therapists who outright sucked. Men aren’t having bad experiences in therapy just because they’re men that would magically be improved if they were women. They would just encounter different issues if they were women. The fact that you’re trying to solve men’s problems at the…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/23 05:12 AM
1

Men tend to blame the loss of relationships on whatever will threaten their egos least. Women are not likely to leave relationships because men “open up.” However, many men expect their wives to be their sole emotional support. They don’t get therapy, they may not have close friends, they don’t open up to parents. They expect girlfriends or wives to be their only emotional lifeline but also disappear when they don’t want to provide emotional support in return. That’s unfair, and women don’t appr…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/23 02:46 AM
1

Having a high paying career is not a masculine trait.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/02/23 07:56 AM
1

Women who expect men to pay for everything are women who are looking for men to financially take care of them. That’s just not a healthy dynamic to be in for either party. That being said, if one person makes substantially more money, I think it’s reasonable for that person to pay more towards major expenditures like trips or houses if both partners agree to that.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/02/23 10:21 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

© TheRedArchive 2026. All rights reserved.
created by /u/dream-hunter