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WorriedDrumSoloist Archive

View 0 posts and 44 comments by WorriedDrumSoloist on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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3

In the end, it doesn’t matter. Who cares whether she really loved you in 2004 or whatever? The fact of the matter is that she doesn’t in 2023, so it’s time to move on with your life. Don’t wallow in the past, look forward to your future.
/r/Divorce_Men23/09/23 05:13 PM
3

OP didn’t say any of these things. He didn’t say he couldn’t get a financially comparable job closer to them. He’s sure as hell not there every other weekend — he lives 1,600 miles away.
/r/Divorce_Men17/09/23 01:47 PM
3

Ha, where on earth did I come across as bitter or mad? Especially about my own situation — I’m actually very happy. I think poorly of bad parents, and encourage people not to become that.
/r/Divorce_Men17/09/23 01:31 PM
3

There is zero reason that OP has to make that choice though. Why in the world would he stop being emotionally present for his kids, just because he’s decided to start being more physically present? Because his commute is longer now? That’s complete bullshit.
/r/Divorce_Men17/09/23 10:54 AM
8

I don’t think it’s possible to find happiness in staying married to someone who doesn’t want to be married to you anymore. My wife informed me she wanted a divorce. I accepted her decision…but then nothing happened. So I filed it myself.
/r/Divorce_Men17/09/23 04:31 AM
9

I appreciate your kind words. Of course there are other things in my life — I have a career, hobbies, dates. But none of that actually matters in the long run. It’s fine to do those things too…but my daughter is always first. As for your advice to OP — you can’t be a dad “occasionally.” Kids notice. They know which parent shows up and which parent doesn’t. In the short run, sure, they’ll be thrilled to see you because it’s such a rare treat. But in the long run, they’re going to be building a na…
/r/Divorce_Men16/09/23 05:08 PM
16

I’m impressed your friends still have time for you. Mine don’t — they’re busy with their own families. I was able to retain custody of my daughter, she still lives with me 24/7, and I thank god for that. There’s nothing I wouldn’t do for her, and it’s not possible to ruin my life on her behalf, because she IS my life. She is what is worth living for, and the only thing I’ve had any impact on that will outlive me when I’m gone. Assuming she has kids of her own one day, and they have kids as well,…
/r/Divorce_Men16/09/23 03:40 PM
1

Right now, it's extremely hard to imagine because I was 100% sure when I met my ex-wife that she was the perfect woman for me. And obviously that turned out not to be true in the long term. So while it's easy to imagine being 100% sure again -- I would also remember that I have a track record of being wrong about 100% things in the past. But if you gave me a time machine and I went 20 years into the future, and discovered I had married again? I think the thing that would help me connect the dots…
/r/Divorce_Men16/09/23 11:02 AM
2

Lawyer, unfortunately. Feasibly some kind of financial advisor might be useful as well, but this is going to be a lawyer’s area of expertise.
/r/Divorce_Men13/09/23 06:20 PM
1

Is the plan in your scenario to never live together, no kids, no merging of finances? Your plan works in that scenario. But if you’re trying to build a life with someone, eventually ending that partnership will be about the same regardless of whether you actually married or not.
/r/Divorce_Men13/09/23 03:16 PM
4

Your situation with multiple companies in play is going to be unique -- unlike what most people here experienced, probably. The short answer is that it depends on how amicable you and your ex can be. If you two can handle this calmly and professionally, without a desire to harm the other one financially, then you can figure out how to split everything so that the end result is roughly equal between you (same value of assets, same value of debts). But if you can't, then the lawyers will get most …
/r/Divorce_Men13/09/23 03:02 AM
7

When I got divorced around the 15 year mark, the very first girl I went on a date with was a girl I’d grown up with but lost touch over the years. As it turned out, just as I was getting divorced, she was calling off a wedding with her fiancé. The timing was a coincidence, but also couldn’t have been better. We immediately found a deep emotional bond with each other. I found myself falling fast and hard. Then she mentioned she’d had a “summer of Tinder” before she met her fiancé, where she went …
/r/Divorce_Men07/09/23 01:46 AM
121

This isn’t manipulation, it’s communication. She had a rule about sex. So do you. Turns out the rules aren’t compatible. No harm done, move along.
/r/Divorce_Men25/08/23 06:00 PM
2

She moved to the guest bedroom on the other floor of the house, as a temporary measure for a few months until she’s able to move out permanently. For the most part, it’s been fine. We generally stay out of each other’s way. We do have a rule that neither of us will bring any “guests” into our house.
/r/Divorce_Men25/08/23 03:01 PM
5

“Trying her best” would mean he doesn’t come to your house — but you already know that, of course. We keep things so separate despite living together that when she needed to go to her boyfriend’s place without her car once for logistical reasons, she took an Uber rather than asking him to pick her up. Because he has no business being here, even just in the driveway.
/r/Divorce_Men19/08/23 11:10 AM
2

Good on you, man. The last thing you need is ANOTHER grenade going off in your life, especially one you threw yourself.
/r/Divorce_Men19/08/23 11:07 AM
3

Boundaries. When we decided to divorce, we agreed we still needed to live together (separate bedrooms) for nine months for financial reasons. She asked me basically the day we decided to split whether she could date again. I said sure, but don’t bring anybody to the house. She agreed to that (and I’ve followed the same rules with my own dates). Basically, “do what you want, but don’t do it here.”
/r/Divorce_Men19/08/23 11:05 AM
3

I’m sorry that you’re feeling this way. Every single step is a learning opportunity. I’ve discovered a million things about myself in just the three months or so that I’ve been separated. Some good, some bad, but mostly just fascinating. I feel myself slowly becoming a very different person, and I’m interested to see where it goes.
/r/Divorce_Men16/08/23 06:36 PM
3

It varies by state, but as long as she theoretically “could” work full time, the fact that she only works part time isn’t likely to be a factor.
/r/Divorce_Men15/08/23 12:29 PM
0

Your priorities are a goddamned mess, man. Your wife filed for divorce and you say she is literally mentally ill and abusing you... ...and all you care about is that she got fat in the process?
/r/Divorce_Men15/08/23 02:07 AM
4

What in the world — why did you make the title and half the post seem like it’s about her weight (which you’re the bad guy on, when you made a lifetime commitment)… And bury the lede that she filed for divorce and has been abusive towards you? Stop talking about her appearance and focus on what actually matters so that you’ll be taken seriously.
/r/Divorce_Men14/08/23 11:53 PM
0

Talk about it with the person you’re seeing now. Make it clear you’re not asking for permission (where she may feel forced to say yes). Say you don’t know what she wants and aren’t sure what to do, and ask for your partner’s advice. Then follow it.
/r/Divorce_Men14/08/23 11:16 PM
8

She should talk to her estate planner on how to best achieve that. If she has a nice inheritance to leave behind, she should have an estate planner.
/r/Divorce_Men12/08/23 01:58 PM
-11

It’s your daughter — this is your circus.
/r/Divorce_Men10/08/23 05:16 PM
2

You didn’t mention your state — alimony laws vary. A realistic expectation is that you may have to sell the house and split any profits.
/r/Divorce_Men09/08/23 12:04 PM
2

No, I stayed married 10 years past the expiration date. The divorce is new.
/r/Divorce_Men05/08/23 03:22 PM
4

Counter argument: James Bond is a fictional character, and assuming your grandfather was a combat veteran as so many of our grandfathers were, he surely would have gotten a whole lot out of therapy if he'd gone into it with an open mind. One of the first things a therapist could help you sort through is this whole "men versus women" thing you seem to have going on in your head.
/r/Divorce_Men05/08/23 01:18 PM
2

It didn't. I waited ten years but it never came back. Now that we're divorced, there's the occasional hint of it, but it's still 99% gone.
/r/Divorce_Men05/08/23 01:13 PM
5

If that’s the case, thank her. The last thing you should be worried about right now is rushing right back to the alter with someone else.
/r/Divorce_Men05/08/23 01:41 AM
3

The most inexpensive way is by consent. If you both agree to the divorce and agree on the division of any assets and custody, the savings are astronomical. If she consents to the divorce, email her. She'll sign the document and email it back to you. If she doesn't consent...well, that's the only inexpensive way of getting divorced.
/r/Divorce_Men04/08/23 08:27 PM
7

Get out now before you start making the post-school income.
/r/Divorce_Men31/07/23 01:04 PM
1

OP actually erased the evidence that he was plotting a crime, which is surely step one of what his lawyer advised him, followed by step two of don’t commit that crime. So, for that reason, I’m going to let you go.
/r/Divorce_Men26/07/23 06:29 PM
1

Ha. No. Would it surprise you to learn that family court is not a crime-free zone? If you commit a crime in family court, you get charged and go to criminal court.
/r/Divorce_Men26/07/23 06:21 PM
0

Ha! Most people aren’t this blatantly stupid. It’s not just lying in family court, it’s falsifying legal documents to create a $100,000 fraud, with the intent of generating a fake $50,000 debt for a victim who doesn’t owe a penny. Are you out of your actual fucking mind? It’s literally a felony. Honestly, I hope he tries it.
/r/Divorce_Men26/07/23 06:01 PM
1

Would it surprise you to learn that this is literally google-able? Of course perjury and fraud can result in jail time. For example, the punishment for perjury alone in California is for up to four years in jail — and that’s before you get into the fraud charges. Ask your lawyer if they think it’s a good idea.
/r/Divorce_Men26/07/23 11:52 AM
1

I mean, you can downvote every one of us, but we’re trying to save you from perjury and fraud charges.
/r/Divorce_Men26/07/23 02:46 AM
4

Absolutely not. Don’t fuck around, the judge will throw the book at you.
/r/Divorce_Men26/07/23 02:18 AM
2

I don’t need someone to tell me the truth, I already know.
/r/Divorce_Men19/07/23 05:05 PM
9

Some of his boundaries are legit, such as “boundaryless inappropriate relationships with men.” Others we don’t have enough context on, such as what the deal is with these female friends. But the one that jumps out at me as problematic is actually the first one — she isn’t allowed to surf with men? She’s a professional surfer! That’s like telling a female accountant that she isn’t allowed to work in an office with male accountants. So…that’s crazy. Of course, Jonah’s been public about the fact th…
/r/Divorce_Men10/07/23 02:54 PM
3

I believe VA only matches what your spouse is contributing (max 5%). As for how to split it, I’d defer to your attorney. Source: VA employee.
/r/Divorce_Men08/07/23 08:06 PM
3

Live a great life. That's the only way you can fuck up her situation without fucking up yours in return. Live a life so great that she eventually realizes she made a life-destroying mistake. But not so that she'll come back to you -- you don't want her. She's trash, and you'd be better off with almost anyone else. But live your life so well that she WANTS to come back, even as she realizes you'd never take her back now because your life got so much better without her. This life that you're livin…
/r/Divorce_Men04/07/23 02:15 PM
4

I mean, if that’s legally enforceable and you think there’s something to gain that justifies the cost of your lawyer, then I guess do so. But obviously you already know his name and she can’t unintroduce them, so…what would be gained? Every second you spend thinking about the two of them is another second that she’s won. The best revenge is a life well lived. Go live yours.
/r/Divorce_Men04/07/23 01:33 PM
2

Good god, no. Why on earth would you possibly do this? Does he want her and her boyfriend calling his work in retaliation? For fucks sake, absolutely not. What could you possibly win here?
/r/Divorce_Men04/07/23 01:22 PM
7

If she’s been with him for two years, introducing the kids…especially “as a friend”…is entirely reasonable. I get that it sucks, but there’s nothing you can do about it and frankly, at this point, why would you even want to? If she left you for trash, then she wasn’t a good partner to begin with. Laugh behind their backs at how miserable they’ll make each other, and move on.
/r/Divorce_Men04/07/23 01:20 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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