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XhaLaLa Archive

View 0 posts and 85 comments by XhaLaLa on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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I don’t know, I can’t speak for anyone else, but what you describe just does not match up with my own experience. My partner and I have been together for a while now and look quite different from how we looked when we first got together, and I’m certain we’re less conventionally attractive than when we were young and walked everywhere, but I’m the same amount of in love that I ever was. Even considering inherently shallower connections, the people I had crushes on were not always or even usually…
/r/ExRedPill24/06/26 07:35 PM
3

There’s an irony to you saying that we need to be better about discussing different viewpoints after how you responded to someone finding your way of speaking about women dehumanizing.
/r/ExRedPill27/05/26 12:32 PM
8

The post was gross, but parts of this comment also seem like they are reducing women to essentially home appliances or staff…
/r/ExRedPill25/05/26 12:50 PM
3

They do exist. In some pockets they are the norm. Unfortunately they aren’t evenly distributed throughout the population. People exist where they are tolerated, so there are pockets where red pill and other more overt and/or extreme forms of misogyny are tolerated and may be the norm and pockets where they generally are not, and the misogyny has to stay further under the radar. In my experience, while that doesn’t mean the misogyny/sexism goes away, it looks and feels very different when it stem…
/r/ExRedPill04/05/26 05:01 PM
1

It doesn’t matter if his misogyny is specifically the red pill flavor. He does not have a healthy relationship to offer you.
/r/ExRedPill02/05/26 02:10 PM
1

You stated a hypothesis as a fact (“Women are a lot more likely to lie about cheating because of the societal stigma related to female promiscuity.“) without actually demonstrating evidence for your hypothesis (that women are more likely to lie about cheating), let alone that the effect size is large enough to reverse the apparent statistical trend. Thus I chose to “leave it” as unpersuasive as presented. Societal stigma could certainly be a confounding variable here. There could also be other c…
/r/ExRedPill03/09/25 07:08 PM
1

You can doubt it, but your personal opinion on the subject isn’t especially persuasive.
/r/ExRedPill03/09/25 02:35 PM
7

Have you ever actually like… talked to trans people? Because if you’re cis, you’re basically going to be intentionally putting yourself in the position that trans folk are in before they have access to appropriate healthcare, and for plenty of people that state is fairly unbearable. Probably better to just work on fighting misogyny, I would think.
/r/ExRedPill27/08/25 01:58 PM
21

Why would that impact your ability to have empathy for women? Am I misunderstanding?
/r/ExRedPill14/07/25 06:20 PM
3

So men should choose the bear too? I don’t disagree (especially in my neck of the literal woods).
/r/ExRedPill28/06/25 01:34 PM
1

Did you bother to actually read my comment or did you just decide you knew what it said and responded to that? Neither my comment nor the original reply suggested you should “just let this person believe what they want” to avoid temporary upset or for any reason. Both comments are both about the way you deliver your point/correction, and mine was specifically about making your correction effective. So did you read my comment and you’re being dishonest in your reply or did you not actually bother…
/r/ExRedPill08/06/25 03:46 PM
1

Developing children, like all humans, tend to receive correction better if it isn’t delivered in a rude manner. They didn’t say the correction was unkind, but that the delivery was. By jumping straight to the “vinegar”, you largely eliminate the honey as an option.
/r/ExRedPill06/06/25 02:10 PM
2

You keep saying “mother” even though either parent could take that role. Why do you think that is?
/r/ExRedPill15/03/25 03:29 PM
8

Overtly misogynist bullshit.
/r/ExRedPill19/02/25 02:50 PM
30

You’re making an assumption that everyone else’s attractions work the same as yours. For many people, myself included, personality modifies physical attraction. Even for those people for whom it doesn’t, looks are subjective and not everyone is into what you’re into. Those people are likely not dating people they have no physical attraction to.
/r/ExRedPill24/01/25 02:14 PM
5

Good people treat others with decency and respect because it’s the right thing to do and because harming people feels really shitty when you care about other people. They don’t do it because they think it will get them more sex or other external rewards. I’ve known people for whom abuse has been normalized and I’m sure I could manipulate that for my own gain, but the idea of doing taking advantage of someone’s vulnerability like that makes me want to vomit.
/r/ExRedPill12/01/25 03:18 PM
2

I didn’t assume anything. I asked for clarification about your experiences with the men you’re talking about.
/r/ExRedPill12/01/25 01:08 AM
3

Well are they actually doing the bare minimum stuff too, though? Because someone doing grand gestures while failing at the day-to-day basics of human decency is not meeting the minimum standard. Just like if my house hasn’t been cleaned in years except the bathroom and the attic which I spend three hours scrubbing every other day, I may be going way above and beyond with those two rooms, but I’m not even close to meeting the bare minimum standard for home cleaning.
/r/ExRedPill10/01/25 05:31 PM
7

Do you have actual evidence that women on average prefer toxic men to a decent men when other factors are held equal? Not anecdotes, but actual meaningful evidence? Genuinely asking, because I’ve known people of a diversity of genders who seem to go for people I don’t consider good or decent, but those have typically been people for whom toxicity has been normalized. Most of the people I know in my own life of any gender prefer people they consider good and who treat them well. That’s anecdotal …
/r/ExRedPill10/01/25 05:25 PM
5

This is a very odd and off-putting thing to say, just so you are aware.
/r/ExRedPill08/01/25 02:44 PM
0

And I feel like you’re somehow missing mine.
/r/ExRedPill30/12/24 07:53 AM
3

Yes, agreed on all counts, and I wish every interaction that started like that could also end with that kind of realization and fix — everyone is going to mess up sometimes when there’s stuff they just don’t have to think about, and there’s a lot that can be done once that has happened to minimize the damage and as you say, avoid ruining someone’s day.
/r/ExRedPill29/12/24 10:08 PM
0

If you’re going to go for a “gotcha”, you need it to work with what they actually said, or else you’re just weakening your own point on a technicality even if it wins on merits.
/r/ExRedPill29/12/24 09:32 PM
1

Yes, your misanthropy is why I was initially going to correct myself, the rest is why you’re still also a misogynist and I don’t actually need to. I am not a woman, but are you suggesting that women are being presented with different content than other people within those same subs?
/r/ExRedPill29/12/24 09:18 PM
1

Oh wow, I saw your first paragraph in my notifications and was ready to correct myself, but it turns out you actually are a misogynist. Racism is rampant, and that is a fucking problem. No argument there. Separately, while your experience of women-centered subs is quite different from mine (to the point where I have to assume there is not much overlap between the spaces we are frequenting), women do need to consider the possibility that any given man is a threat to them, because there’s just no …
/r/ExRedPill29/12/24 06:48 PM
2

Gross, wtf? I feel like I need 10 showers now. This is so manipulative — do you even consider women people?
/r/ExRedPill29/12/24 05:51 PM
1

Unless you can’t stand people generally, I am curious where you think your misogyny originates that it prevents you from being able to even stand the company of women in a non-sexual context.
/r/ExRedPill29/12/24 05:45 PM
1

I don’t think their statement was actually contradictory. They didn’t say looks don’t matter in the long run, they said they may not be the primary factor. Something can both matter quite a lot and not be the primary factor. I don’t know that I agree that looks matter ”quite a lot”, just pointing out that they didn’t quite say what you’re saying they did.
/r/ExRedPill29/12/24 05:42 PM
2

OP actually says in the post that their friend’s face “wasn’t that great either” which makes the conclusion from the title confusing to me. It seems more likely in that case that social skills are the difference, but I may have missed something. Edit: the friend is taller (almost 6’3” vs. 5’10.5”, if I converted properly), so maybe “looks” actually means “height”? Either way, social skills seem the likely factor to me, just based on knowing and talking to actual women. I don’t know anyone who is…
/r/ExRedPill29/12/24 05:10 PM
5

That is at least adjacent to magical thinking.
/r/ExRedPill21/12/24 04:41 PM
3

I mean, if that’s just how your attraction works, I don’t know that there is an alternative, it’s just unfortunate is all.
/r/ExRedPill17/12/24 10:53 PM
1

I didn’t post the article, nor speak to it, so I’m not sure why you think I should explain or defend it. Generally speaking, though, I think when research looks at more or less “attractive” people/features, they’re merely referring to that distribution of preferences, such that being higher in more people’s preference rankings = “more attractive”, rather than claiming some objective quantitative attractiveness scale.
/r/ExRedPill16/12/24 07:15 PM
2

You may have misunderstood me. I am speaking within the context of the human species and saying that there being popular features does not mean beauty is not subjective, because the word doesn’t preclude that. Food preferences are also subjective — there are foods I love that others I know find extremely unappealing, and a smaller number of foods in the other direction — and there are foods/ingredients that are broadly popular. The existence of more and less popular traits/combinations of traits…
/r/ExRedPill16/12/24 04:57 PM
3

That is honestly astonishing to me, and seems virtually guaranteed to land you in a miserable relationship with someone you don’t like or share enough with to have good sex, let alone build a life with, but I guess do what works for you. That does not seem to be how it functions for anyone I know personally and well enough to have a sense, but anecdotes are anecdotes.
/r/ExRedPill16/12/24 04:44 PM
4

“Subjective” doesn’t mean “preferences are evenly distributed amongst the possible options”. Something can be subjective and still have more and less popular options. Looks obviously matter, they just aren’t the only thing that matters and they don’t elicit a consistently predictable response. Life is nuanced. u/PutsWomenOnPedestal
/r/ExRedPill16/12/24 03:52 PM
3

I know this is not what you asked, and I’m not sure what the actual statistics are, but I’m really curious about you characterizing 90% of the relationships around you that way, because looking at the relationships around me (at least as far as what I see and hear about, and I’m just talking about the people I actually know), the proportions are dead opposite, with the majority of the relationships around me appearing to be closer to the 10% you describe than the 90%. I wonder how much is a diff…
/r/ExRedPill06/12/24 03:42 PM
3

Ngl, I think it’s pretty messed up that you were okay being with someone overtly racist as long as their bigotry isn’t turned toward you.
/r/ExRedPill17/11/24 03:11 PM
2

Yepp, women are human. Some humans are awful.
/r/ExRedPill04/11/24 04:01 PM
1

But what about from your friend (OP is worried about theirs)? I am genuinely asking, I just don’t know how to phrase that without it sounding vaguely argumentative, lol.
/r/ExRedPill17/10/24 01:58 PM
1

Would you have believed it, do you think?
/r/ExRedPill17/10/24 01:24 PM
2

YIKES.
/r/ExRedPill05/08/24 02:20 PM
2

It’s my understanding that the available research shows some statistically significant psychological differences, but most are very small effect sizes with the data curves largely overlapping, and at least some may even shrinking over time (presumably as the socially-enforced behavioral differences shrink, because our environments and experiences influence the “wiring” of our brains). All of the “serious fundamental inherent” differences I’m aware of are physiological or reproductive in nature. …
/r/ExRedPill14/05/24 06:47 PM
1

That’s nice, and that is also the kind of person I appreciate and am attracted to. I’m sure you recognize though that you and I are not everyone, and also that people don’t necessarily recognize when they fall prey to common cognitive errors. I’m not sure why you assume the effect is limited to free drinks and better interactions with people trying to sell you things and that it wouldn’t come into effect in say the workplace or the legal system.
/r/ExRedPill01/05/24 08:54 PM
2

I found what I understood them to have said to be damaging, and for the reasons stated in my comment. That’s why I responded the way I did: because of what I understood them to mean.
/r/ExRedPill01/05/24 08:48 PM
4

Uh huh, but the word I’m talking about is not “incel”, it’s “uggo”, so I’m not totally sure how your comment relates to mine unless you just misread.
/r/ExRedPill28/04/24 11:44 PM
5

In that case, they probably should have focused more of their words on that (very correct) message, instead of including so many that are solely disparaging to people who aren’t conventionally attractive. If they had left off their last sentence, I wouldn’t have commented. If they were clear that misogyny is men problem, not an unattractive vs. attractive men problem, I would have upvoted. Edit to add: my comment on the halo effect was not intended to be relevant to the conversation overall, jus…
/r/ExRedPill28/04/24 03:55 PM
8

And it also (derogatorily) describes plenty of people who have amazing personalities, good hygiene, and “falling down in the looks department”, and I’m not sure I have ever heard it used to describe someone who is conventionally attractive but with a shit personality, leading me to believe that it’s the physical appearance being described by that word. Edit: replaced a “with” with “who have”
/r/ExRedPill28/04/24 03:05 PM
30

I’ve known plenty of misogynists who aren’t conventionally attractive, and plenty who are. The idea that your friends could avoid abuse by simply dating people they aren’t attracted to or who aren’t conventionally attractive is pure nonsense.
/r/ExRedPill28/04/24 03:00 PM
11

Uggos? Seriously? People who are perceived as conventionally attractive (any gender) are treated better than people who are not. Not the way incels and redpillers believe, obviously — virtually nothing in this world is a binary or a 1:1 correlation like they seem to think — but it very clearly happens, and that necessarily means that people perceived as less conventionally attractive get treated more poorly on average. Throwing around words like “uggo” in this context only serves to perpetuate t…
/r/ExRedPill28/04/24 02:58 PM
29

Are you seriously under the impression that men are being systemically oppressed by women? Because that’s a necessary component for your analogy to make sense.
/r/ExRedPill28/04/24 02:49 PM
2

Not to mention, personality having the capacity to modify physical attraction, that is not remotely the same as saying that it will cause physical attraction in all cases. It’s a very unnuanced take in all directions that does not follow logically from the claims it is supposed to be a response to.
/r/ExRedPill01/04/24 03:22 PM
9

Some people care about being a good person who doesn’t harm marginalized demographics for reasons unrelated to whether it will get them laid. If that’s not you, you’ve got bigger problems.
/r/ExRedPill09/02/24 02:16 PM
8

I’m not sure why you think that woman is settling, beca based on your description, she seems to very clearly be indicating that what she has now is better and the opposite of settling.
/r/ExRedPill27/01/24 05:01 PM
2

I see, I read your “It’s not about sex.” as “It’s not about sex, period.” but I see now you actually meant “It’s probably not solely about sex.” Thank you for clarifying, and have a fabulous day :]
/r/ExRedPill06/01/24 05:14 PM
4

I mean, it could be about sex. It could be any number of things, or nothing. Because women are human beings. No idea why OP thought a bunch of strangers on the internet could answer this question about a woman we’ve never met :(
/r/ExRedPill06/01/24 03:30 PM
7

Which is fucking wild, since here in reality where privilege actually tips the other way, most of us understand that women still can be and are abusive, and that that’s still wrong.
/r/ExRedPill20/12/23 02:27 PM
2

That… sounds pretty abusive, actually. I hope you’re doing okay.
/r/ExRedPill12/12/23 01:14 PM
4

Did you not enjoy the time you spent with her? I’m having a hard time reading this any way other than, “I wasted my entire night spending time with her and I didn’t even get any sex to make my sacrifice worth it.” But I also can’t imagine anyone saying that so candidly and actually meaning that and not seeing a glaring problem, so I think I must be misinterpreting.
/r/ExRedPill09/12/23 11:47 PM
17

I think men are even statistically somewhat more likely to cheat than women. But the vast majority of people of any gender don’t cheat regardless.
/r/ExRedPill01/12/23 02:30 PM
9

Not at random, but regularly, so it’s just part of your contribution to the same degree that it’s hers.
/r/ExRedPill10/11/23 07:36 PM
2

Women are human beings, not a scarce resource.
/r/ExRedPill30/10/23 04:13 PM
4

This is not reality-based.
/r/ExRedPill20/10/23 01:04 PM
2

Look, if you think women do not face significant sex and gender inequality, I don’t know what to tell you other than that you’re living in a fantasy world. The existence of a workplace that might not be doing that is great, but doesn’t tell you anything about the situation at large. Yes, there are plenty of women who want to be CEOs and work 100 hour weeks (although that is far above the average hours worked by a CEO). That’s not a male trait, that’s a workaholic trait. But who the CEO is doesn’…
/r/ExRedPill25/09/23 12:24 PM
3

The thing is, it’s not men on the bottom, it’s everyone. Women on the bottom do not have it easier than men on the bottom.
/r/ExRedPill24/09/23 01:03 PM
4

Because it’s not just positions of power like what Elon Musk and Mark Zuckerberg have. I’m not talking just about the tippy top, I’m talking about the whole power structure. I’m talking about politicians and high courts. I’m talking about managers. I’m talking about doctors and medical research. These things affect the day-to-day of everyone, and when it is harder for certain demographics to be represented in those roles, it impacts the concerns that get attention, amongst other things. Until la…
/r/ExRedPill24/09/23 12:50 PM
3

Like I said in my first post, “even when armed with information or even personal expertise”.
/r/ExRedPill24/09/23 12:36 PM
3

But I realized I actually provided examples of something adjacent to what I originally said (sorry about that, I’m still quite tired). So how about access to a fairly priced car and then fairly priced maintenance and repairs thereafter? Because because even when armed with information or even personal expertise, women get worse deals on cars and worse pricing at the mechanic.
/r/ExRedPill23/09/23 03:24 PM
3

Oh! And this one is just a one-liner, and it’s more stunning than nuanced, but there was that Axios article from earlier this year about how the number of CEOs in Fortune 500 companies who are women finally exceeds the number of Fortune 500 CEOs named John or Jon.
/r/ExRedPill23/09/23 03:17 PM
5

I mean, the vast majority of positions of power, for starters. For example, not my favorite occupation, but it is convenient for having pretty black-and-white success metrics: did you know that hedge funds managed by women outperform hedge funds managed by men? They did better at beating market lows, and they survived the pandemic crashes and other economic crises better. And yet there are at least twice as many hedge fund managers who are men than women, and women make up just 10-15% of leaders…
/r/ExRedPill23/09/23 03:12 PM
5

And you can’t deny that men, only by being men, also have access to things most women would never have or would need to work very hard to obtain. Or you could, but you would be factually incorrect in doing so. The truth is, most traits that we have assigned positive value to can get the people access to things other’s don’t.
/r/ExRedPill23/09/23 02:49 PM
12

Internalized misogyny. Unfortunately, belonging to a marginalized demographic does not inherently prevent a person from falling for misinformation about that demographic, particularly (but not exclusively) when their own experiences don’t contradict it. Humans and their experiences are quite varied, so for any stereotype or myth (within reason, of course), there will be people who do fit it, it’s just that it doesn’t tell you about all or most other people belonging to similar demographics.
/r/ExRedPill19/09/23 12:15 PM
2

Seriously? Because one of them is an example of systemic discrimination restricting a population’s ability to meet their basic survival needs and takes place in a context of violence and oppression, and the other does not. They are not remotely similar or comparable.
/r/ExRedPill15/09/23 01:47 PM
2

Not wanting to date someone is not considering or treating them as subhuman. Most people are not romantically or sexually interested in most other people. Love can come from many different places, not just a romantic or sexual relationship, and not just from women. Literally all manner of negative emotions are fine, with the caveat that if one of the emotions you are having is rage or hatred toward the demographic of people you feel rejected by, that is not healthy, because those are indicators …
/r/ExRedPill15/09/23 11:53 AM
1

No one deserves love in the sense of being entitled to it. Experiencing rage toward women because you are hurt by rejection — even a lot of pain — is not healthy and is a sign that you are viewing the human beings you are being rejected by as things that you deserve.
/r/ExRedPill15/09/23 11:40 AM
1

Pain is fine and normal. Rage is not. Thinking women are mocking your loneliness when they pursue people they are interested in is not. Where it became clear that you are not viewing women as fully human is (as I said in my last comment) when you experience rage because some of them aren’t interested in you and and are interested in other people. That rage would not exist if you were actually fully viewing women as people.
/r/ExRedPill15/09/23 11:10 AM
2

You recognize that women are human beings who — like other human beings — have no obligation, moral or otherwise, to date or have sex with anyone. I don’t even know what more there is to say. If you actually understand that, rage over rejection and ideologies about punishing them for that or trying to trick them into it would not hold any appeal whatsoever, and would in fact be entirely repugnant. Women. Are. Human. That is literally the answer.
/r/ExRedPill14/09/23 10:54 AM
1

Hi! It sort of looks like you’re reassurance-seeking here more than anything, which is both completely common and understandable with OCD, and ultimately not very helpful for it. It’s counterintuitive, but while getting that reassurance can help quiet the distressing thoughts temporarily, in the long-term it strengthens them and increases their frequency. The more practiced you become at sitting in the discomfort (let’s be real, agony sometimes) of uncertainty, the easier and less agonizing it b…
/r/ExRedPill05/09/23 11:43 AM
3

Yiiiiiikes.
/r/ExRedPill21/03/23 06:46 PM
3

I’m sorry, but models and adult performers are “the worst type of woman”? Seriously?
/r/ExRedPill21/03/23 06:43 PM
2

With that, I wholeheartedly agree. Obviously others feel differently and we all have differing priorities, but I’ve never really personally understood the drive to actively seek out specifically dating-type relationships. I have a variety of close relationships in my life and while that has sometimes included a romantic partner and sometimes not, the vast majority of those relationships are not of that sort. It’s bizarre how we elevate this one specific kind of relationship as somehow set apart …
/r/ExRedPill28/09/22 03:08 PM
3

Okay, first, yes. We should of course normalize people, including men, feeling fulfilled regardless of their relationship experience or status. Some people are unlucky and some people are uninterested, and regardless of our relationship status, our self-worth and happiness should not be based on it. We also should not expect one person to fulfill all of our social and emotional needs, including when we are in romantic partnerships. The idea that all of our lives are supposed to follow the same t…
/r/ExRedPill28/09/22 01:44 PM
3

She did though…? The specific comment you directly reply to doesn’t, but it’s the third comment in that direct thread, the second from that person, and it is pretty explicitly intended to be read n conjunction with the first (“here’s another way of putting it”). The whole last paragraph of that first comment is about the violence women are at a greatly increased risk for when in the company of men and why that would impact their willingness to get naked with them.
/r/ExRedPill27/07/22 05:36 PM
4

Your premise is flawed. Most sexual violence is not committed by strangers (though obviously plenty is), and plenty of women have been sexually assaulted by men they thought were friends or have friends who were, so even friends (especially the ones who seem to think they’re entitled to sexual attention) are not necessarily safe enough to take the risk of sexual violence out of the mental equation.
/r/ExRedPill27/07/22 05:21 PM
1

Tbf, if you’re “treat[ing] women like they’re human beings with respect and kindness” for the express purpose of getting them to have sex with you, you haven’t actually succeeded in recognizing women as full human beings and treating them as such, you’re just attempting to mimic what you think that would look like, and people (which women are) tend to notice that.
/r/ExRedPill11/12/21 02:14 PM
3

“Bare minimum” doesn’t mean “all that’s needed”. It means without meeting it, it’s a definite no. It means “required”, not “enough”.
/r/ExRedPill02/10/21 04:31 PM
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