Yessica___ Archive

Upvotes	Title	Category	Author	Subreddit	Date (UTC)
141	To male survivors of abusive relationships, how were you treated when you spoke out	Activism/Support	Yessica___	/r/MensRights	25/04/22 04:32 PM
10	Have any of you been in an abusive relationship? Emotional, financial, verbal, physical or otherwise? Did you report any crime that was committed?	General	Yessica___	/r/MensRights	24/04/19 02:09 PM

Upvotes	Comment on	Subreddit	Date (UTC)
1	To male survivors of abusive relationships, how were you treated when you spoke out Oh my I’m so sorry, that’s all so traumatizing. I can’t believe that in this day and age people, especially those at a domestic violence hotline, are not empathetic to men that have been abused as well.	/r/MensRights	04/05/22 07:10 PM
2	To male survivors of abusive relationships, how were you treated when you spoke out You as well. I also spoke about my abuse on the internet in anonymous groups long before I even told my therapists about it and even longer before I told my friends. Talking about it with people that have been through it really makes you feel not so alone. I don’t think people can totally understand unless they’ve been there themselves, or they’re too afraid to understand because they don’t want to believe it could happen to them. It can happen to anyone.	/r/MensRights	27/04/22 03:50 PM
1	To male survivors of abusive relationships, how were you treated when you spoke out I think it depends on the people/ friend group/ family. I never questioned any of my long time male friends who told me about their abusive relationships. I guess I got the ball rolling by speaking publicly about my own situation and I never once said “male abusers” I always said abuser’s and survivors’s because I know very well it happens to everyone. If you’re not comfortable talking about it with people in your life than by no means do you need to. Some people don’t ever tell the people in th…	/r/MensRights	27/04/22 03:07 PM
2	To male survivors of abusive relationships, how were you treated when you spoke out In Canada when the kids reach 12 I believe they get to make their own decisions which parents to spend time with in separation/ divorce cases. So hopefully she’s not able to brainwash them to believe her lies and they will see her for what she really is. Very sad situation I heard of with 2 children who grew up in an abusive household. One of them grew up and hated the abuser and wanted nothing to do with them. The oldest went on to abuse his girlfriend emotionally, both stalking her when they b…	/r/MensRights	26/04/22 08:52 PM
1	To male survivors of abusive relationships, how were you treated when you spoke out I believe there is hope. I bet you she didn’t face any repercussions for the false accusation though. There is a clear case against these people for lying to the police or perjury in court and it doesn’t seem to be enforced. Why? I don’t understand it.	/r/MensRights	26/04/22 06:19 PM
1	To male survivors of abusive relationships, how were you treated when you spoke out I agree it’s harder for men to be accepted as the victim of abuse for intimate partner violence. It tends to be more from people that just don’t understand or don’t want to understand. Most survivors I know realize that both men and women can be abused (at least the ones who have been through therapy and try to deal with their trauma), we recognize that in each other - it’s a thing, at least for me it is. While I agree with many crimes women are often not even charged, men get a slap on the wris…	/r/MensRights	26/04/22 06:13 PM
1	To male survivors of abusive relationships, how were you treated when you spoke out Is that a question you want me to answer? Of course I don’t know what men go through, that’s why I’m asking.	/r/MensRights	26/04/22 04:09 AM
3	To male survivors of abusive relationships, how were you treated when you spoke out Even in some of the groups I attended, they were only women. It was designed that way to make us feel safe, some of us had to worry about being murdered and being around men was triggering for some. The only group for men at one of the places I attended was for anger management. I asked, where do the abused men go? They didn’t have an answer.	/r/MensRights	26/04/22 01:02 AM
2	To male survivors of abusive relationships, how were you treated when you spoke out Abuse affects the rest of our lives, one way or another.	/r/MensRights	26/04/22 01:00 AM
3	To male survivors of abusive relationships, how were you treated when you spoke out The part I’m focusing on for this article/ book chapter is in intimate partner violence specifically. There’s so much that needs to be said in regards to everything wrong with perception, the system, gender norms and stigmas. But have to start somewhere and this is book one	/r/MensRights	26/04/22 12:19 AM
1	To male survivors of abusive relationships, how were you treated when you spoke out I’m so happy you were actually listened to. It should not be normalized and it is never ok to hurt someone else just because you look into yourself and are found lacking. Good for you for speaking up and good for them for taking it seriously. Thank you for sharing.	/r/MensRights	25/04/22 10:26 PM
7	To male survivors of abusive relationships, how were you treated when you spoke out It’s crazy and so so sad. I have a lot of guy friends that have been through it and met with the same level of disrespect and bias by those that are charged with helping victims. It makes me irate.	/r/MensRights	25/04/22 09:04 PM
7	To male survivors of abusive relationships, how were you treated when you spoke out I do too but I don’t even know what happened to him. I couldn’t ever even message him about it because I’m sure she is one of the ones who would read his phone and control his accounts. It’s very sad.	/r/MensRights	25/04/22 08:41 PM
4	To male survivors of abusive relationships, how were you treated when you spoke out Only one I know from the UK that got to even charge his abusive wife was stabbed 9 times.	/r/MensRights	25/04/22 08:39 PM
3	To male survivors of abusive relationships, how were you treated when you spoke out I was talking abuser’s. All abusers are the same, man or woman. It’s all specific situations and obviously your gender plays a huge part in the way society thinks of it. Sexual orientation, sexual identity, I didn’t really mean anything specific to the victims just the way they are perceived from the outside perspective. But I do think survivors also have so much in common and we all need to be here for each other. We need to support each other because the monsters are out there and they’re neve…	/r/MensRights	25/04/22 07:23 PM
11	To male survivors of abusive relationships, how were you treated when you spoke out I’ve realized that people are so uncomfortable with these situations, they want to believe that it couldn’t and wouldn’t happen to them, they try to shift blame to make them feel like it’s specific to each victim. It’s not, it can happen to anyone. It’s been happening since the beginning of time. Im so sorry you went through that without support. I can’t even imagine how hard that must have been.	/r/MensRights	25/04/22 07:19 PM
3	To male survivors of abusive relationships, how were you treated when you spoke out I think that’s the gnawing question that plagues us all. We know monster’s will be monsters, they’re behaviour can’t be rationalized because it’s not rational. But I’ll never know why I didn’t leave the first time he almost killed me. I’ll never know why I stuck around through the pain. We all know it’s not our fault. But I mourn the loss of the person I was before. Some things change us forever, but we’re here and we’re talking about it. That’s a blessing that many people don’t get in these sit…	/r/MensRights	25/04/22 07:17 PM
3	To male survivors of abusive relationships, how were you treated when you spoke out Didn’t mean to be triggering and I’m sorry for that. Surviving at all is thriving in my opinion, so many don’t. I really like this one too: “You remember too much, my mom said to me recently. Why hold on to all that? And I said, where do I put it down?” Anne Carson	/r/MensRights	25/04/22 07:13 PM
16	To male survivors of abusive relationships, how were you treated when you spoke out People in my groups call it the “judicial system” because it has nothing to do with Justice.	/r/MensRights	25/04/22 05:46 PM
9	To male survivors of abusive relationships, how were you treated when you spoke out I read a quote somewhere and it fits perfectly: Someone once said to me “I would’ve never guessed you’ve been through what you’ve been through, you carry yourself so well”. And that’s when I realized it’s not what happens to you, it’s how you handle it.	/r/MensRights	25/04/22 05:45 PM
27	To male survivors of abusive relationships, how were you treated when you spoke out I had a coworker who had his nose broken, his girlfriend was not allowed in our establishment because of her violent outbursts, and still other “friends” of his said that he liked the attention. He was broken because of her and no one was even willing to say he was the victim in this. Because he stayed and was a man. She threatened to have his kids taken away, threatened to ruin his business. She was the abuser and he was in need of help. I told him I would help him however I could, but nothing …	/r/MensRights	25/04/22 05:38 PM
1	Stop blaming "toxic masculinity". It’s another part of victim blaming and trying to make the rest of the world think “it could never happen to me, it happened to them because of X”. Like the ridiculous notion that a man can’t be the victim or IPV by a woman because they’re psychically stronger or something. Makes no sense. Anyone can be a victim of any crime given the perfect storm of circumstances.	/r/MensRights	01/06/21 03:26 PM
3	Stop blaming "toxic masculinity". It’s back to the 1980’s where people asked a woman “what were you wearing” after a sexual assault. People ask men “why didn’t you tell, why did you let it happen, why didn’t you stop her, why didn’t you get help?” First thing you learn after a traumatic relationship is not to ask the person why they didn’t leave sooner, but that you’re proud of them for leaving when they could. Same is true for mental health help with men, asking why. It’s not our place to ask why, it’s our place to help.	/r/MensRights	31/05/21 01:24 PM
1	Stop blaming "toxic masculinity". I know it’s pretty atrocious in Intimate Partner Violence, at least in my area of Canada. We have a lot of social programs but all that I read about or attended for IPV were representing women. That’s just unfair, men experience it too. A woman is just as dangerous with a gun as a man. The thinking that men are stronger physically than women so pose more of a threat is archaic.	/r/MensRights	31/05/21 01:19 PM
18	Stop blaming "toxic masculinity". I’ve never heard someone blame toxic masculinity for mental issues, because if I did I would sure have something to say to them about it. I’ve heard it more in situations where the abuse of power is involved. What I don’t like is outliers of any race or gender being lumped into the group as a whole. People who exhibit toxic masculinity or toxic femininity have a lot more in common with each other than they do to the rest of the population. They are not the norm. For a real world example I’ve bee…	/r/MensRights	30/05/21 06:41 PM
5	stop accusing men of things they didn't do The person that’s falsely accused is obviously the first victim. Someone who falsely accuses is an abuser, a selfish cruel abuser. They intentionally want to hurt the person they’re accusing, that’s obvious. But they also unknowingly, or more likely uncaringly, hurt every other person who has actually been the victim of assault and abuse. I think there should be a huge fine and a criminal charge for false accusations. I know it is illegal but rarely persued. If someone had to pay for all the cou…	/r/MensRights	23/05/21 08:40 PM
1	Have any of you been in an abusive relationship? Emotional, financial, verbal, physical or otherwise? Did you report any crime that was committed? Wow. That’s pretty eye opening for sure. I can’t believe that people don’t think it can happen to men. Anything can happen to anyone. Have not had any experience on Reddit with people weighing in on abuse and victims with anything but support so far, hasn’t been very long posting here though. Did see some ghastly behaviour by people on Facebook narcissist support groups and YouTube though. In one group a woman told people basically that they hadn’t been raped because they “should” have ran away …	/r/MensRights	24/04/19 11:40 PM
1	Have any of you been in an abusive relationship? Emotional, financial, verbal, physical or otherwise? Did you report any crime that was committed? Definitely abusive. So happy you got out. Although it’s the real shit people in the world that help you appreciate the good ones. I do not thank my abuser for this realization, I thank myself and the good people I know.	/r/MensRights	24/04/19 09:34 PM
1	Have any of you been in an abusive relationship? Emotional, financial, verbal, physical or otherwise? Did you report any crime that was committed? Omg That’s so awful. I don’t even want to say the things my ex said to me. They were terrible. Basically think of every derogatory word towards women, or about a relationship, or mental illness - he said it. One time, really in the first few months of our relationship we got in a fight. Non violent at the time, but very verbally abusive from his end. He said to me, and I’ll never forget this: “You’re such an easy mark. I can cheat on you, do anything to you, and you’ll never know it. I control y…	/r/MensRights	24/04/19 09:18 PM
1	Have any of you been in an abusive relationship? Emotional, financial, verbal, physical or otherwise? Did you report any crime that was committed? Yup. Also what they do. Break us down. I wanted to die with mine too. Not as much after but during for sure. I never wanted him to kill me though just got so sad and fed up for awhile it seemed like the only way out. Happy you I didn’t. You too! It’s very hard to get over these things. You’re a strong person!	/r/MensRights	24/04/19 04:38 PM
1	Have any of you been in an abusive relationship? Emotional, financial, verbal, physical or otherwise? Did you report any crime that was committed? Abusers do this. So often they do everything they can to discredit their victims. Make it harder to be believed. It’s calculated. Planned. They know what they’re doing. They want to shame us into submission. Just like they did when they were exerting their power over us in the relationship. So unfair. So wrong. Should not happen to anyone. I’m so sorry for what you’ve been through. It’s a fucking travesty.	/r/MensRights	24/04/19 03:25 PM
3	Have any of you been in an abusive relationship? Emotional, financial, verbal, physical or otherwise? Did you report any crime that was committed? So sad. When my very good guy friend told me about what happened to him, I was shocked. Horrified. And he said the same thing. Said he couldn’t even defend himself because he knew she would report HIM for being abusive. He made the smart decision to leave. They talked about children. He could not allow her to have access to innocent children to abuse. He’s happy now. Still deals with the repercussions from this though. Guilt and shame and blaming himself. So sorry you went through that. It’s ter…	/r/MensRights	24/04/19 02:39 PM
6	Finally had abusive female coworker charged and fired Thank you for coming forward! I was so saddened after going public with my own story of abuse when my family and friends came and told me of their own. Several were men, none of whom sought justice. Is it embarrassment? The lack of ability for society to believe women are capable of this? People often have an unwillingness to believe things they don’t understand. Make sense of them in their own minds according to their own experiences. But these situations don’t make sense. They’re not rational.…	/r/MensRights	24/04/19 12:15 PM