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YourMomsNameIsLinda Archive

View 4 posts and 49 comments by YourMomsNameIsLinda on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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1

Thank you for reading/ replying. The similarities between our experiences sounds surreal. I'm sorry you've been thru all that you have as well. Yeah I hate that the church is more likely to protect abusers than victims of 'sexual sin.' I'm feeling better than when I posted this a couple days ago. My emotions get the better of me and come as waves sometimes. Right now, I'm just focusing on trying to make 2020 a good year. By getting my health and fitness in order, advancing my career and hobbies,…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/01/20 11:29 PM
3

Thank you so much for the kind words of encouragement. I'll be coming back to reread this comment in particular, it just vibes in a way I needed to hear. Big hugs right back, I'll keep at it and aim for positivity and healing. ❤️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/01/20 12:52 AM
6

Good advice thank you. I am thinking of going back and completing my bachelor's, making my artwork more of a career, etc. Hope to have a small family someday. But yes focusing on those goals and making them into more solid realities. And Meetup sounds good too.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/01/20 11:58 PM
4

I think that's the key is reminding myself 'not to be hard on myself', that building these habits sometimes takes time, and won't necessarily happen overnight. That's where I also have to be careful, as I start getting paranoid about my age though, like I'm running out of time to get my life in order. But that kind of thinking also works against me. Better to just be meditative and not overthink it so much, and just strive for improvements a day at a time Thank you for reading and replying
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/01/20 11:54 PM
12

Thank you for the link for codependency. I'm pretty certain I fall into that category. I'm just frustrated that this is the point I'm at. It's like I understand what's going on, behaviors, thought processes, etc, but snapping out of it is a challenge in itself. I guess recognizing is the first step, and going from there, thank you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/01/20 11:50 PM
3

Not currently, but considering looking back into it after my most recent toxic relationship. I originally sought therapy after leaving my lifelong religion, as I felt like I lost my identity and was having an existential crisis. In therapy I opened up about the other stuff. Some therapists are great, others not so much. It really depends. I felt like I was getting so much better before I met my now ex. He did a number on me, but I plan on doing my best to bounce back.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/01/20 11:44 PM
3

My bad, "demand" was a poor word choice. I meant simply payment as an expectation. I like your response though. You're right, if asked to pay for half, then do so, but then you understand their priorities. Helpful insight.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/12/19 09:06 PM
4

Love this, all excellent points! Thanks so much for sharing your insights.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/12/19 08:14 PM
1

Thank you for these links, reading them now
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/12/19 07:56 PM
12

Thanks for this, I've dated a LVM all thru 2019. He paid for like.. the first couple dates, then we started going Dutch. I thought I was being fair, but overtime his selfishness became more evident, and in the end I was devastated to discover he's a lying, cheating, fuckboy.. I have not experienced yet the kind beautiful type of courtship that you've described above. Thank you for sharing, I know now that's what I ought to be looking for.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/12/19 07:53 PM
3

Love this, good to know haha, thanks again
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/12/19 07:44 PM
3

Makes sense haha, thank you
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/12/19 07:41 PM
11

Damn love this insight, thank you!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/12/19 07:41 PM
3

Thank you for the excellent insight, this is starting to all make sense ❤️ I felt like I was willing to go Dutch before, but it makes me glow when the guy would rather impress and generously treat me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/12/19 07:38 PM
1

Thank you, this is very helpful, thanks for the link as well, reading everything here
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/12/19 07:35 PM
1

This is helpful, thank you for commenting ✨
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/12/19 07:30 PM
3

Thank you for your reply, all this info is very helpful
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/12/19 07:29 PM
4

Thank you, I feel silly I didn't know how to find these links, thanks so much for the help and insights. 👍✨ I'll definitely be reading these
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/12/19 07:26 PM
5

Good points, thanks so much for reading and replying. Appreciate it
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/12/19 07:24 PM
11

Thank you for replying, this is starting to make sense
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/12/19 07:22 PM
15

Thank you for your very thoughtful and thorough reply. I can understand and actually agree with all of these points. ❤️ I just wanted help, I really don't want a repeat of my last relationship, and this thinking will set me in the right direction.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/12/19 07:20 PM
3

Thank you for the link, I will read it. I am new to this subreddit, and lamely didn't know how to access the sidebar on my Android phone, thanks.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/12/19 07:07 PM
7

My question/ desire for discussion is sincere. Your label is counterproductive to helping me reach a healthier dating approach. I'm here to learn.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/12/19 06:59 PM
23

Thank you! This is a genuinely helpful response and something I can understand and get behind. I hadn't thought of it in this way. I thought going Dutch demonstrated being a team player and loving fair equality.. buut in my gut it feels more comforting & promising when a man is able/willing to financially provide. Edit: if it helps add perspective, I'm Ex-Mormon after a lifetime of sexist indoctrination of patriarchy caring for women. After leaving, I've been trying to redefine and find my footi…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/12/19 06:54 PM
5

I will say I'd expect the first date, or first few dates to be paid by the guy under this circumstance, if he invites you. I agree with that. How about a few weeks in? A couple months into dating? Or what if you're the one who first reached out and expressed interest in dating. Does he then still pay out of cultural tradition?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/12/19 06:46 PM
2

I don't actually know how to access it when on phone format (Android phone). Does it have a good description for "not going Dutch" or something?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/12/19 06:43 PM
5

Did I just use awful wording or something?! Wasn't my intention to offend anyone here. I'm legit curious people's helpful insights here. I am very OPEN MINDED and want to learn. I never said the principles here don't resonate with me. Honestly maybe I just worded it terrible by saying "persuade me" My perspective is, I don't like feeling like a burden on others. I'm a very giving person, and honestly trying to break out of being an unhealthy people pleaser It's hard for me to grasp, that a man w…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/12/19 06:39 PM
8

If I came across rudely it wasn't my intention. I'm just genuinely curious people's thoughts and would enjoy hearing them. Also I'm new to this subreddit, appolgies if it's been discussed to death already. Im just looking for healthy insights after a toxic relationship, and nervous going back into the dating field. Thanks
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/12/19 06:25 PM
2

Thank you for this, I've been looking at it, good stuff
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/12/19 08:06 AM
2

Thanks so much, appreciate the helpful advice.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/12/19 08:04 AM
2

Thank you again, and you know you're exactly correct. I'm afraid of being alone. It's hard, because before meeting this guy, I spent literally a few years being alone, working on myself, improving my self esteem, going to a therapy, doing my hobbies. I was getting to a good head space. When I met him, I guess I was still too eagerly excited, I adored the attention int the beginning and thought it meant something. As we became intimate I became hooked, then spiraled into too desparate to want thi…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/12/19 03:58 AM
3

I agree living for myself is the answer. I feel motivated to pull myself up and make the best self supportive life I can for me. I love/hate my dad. He engrained in me that to graduate into my adulthood, was to find a man to take care of me. Now I'm scrambling to get my shit together and live much more independently. Thank you sincerely for the kind words.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/12/19 03:02 AM
3

Good to know, thank you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/12/19 02:27 AM
5

Thank you for reading and replying. This whole subreddit is very refreshing honestly. So happy I stumbled upon it. I had an older ex once say I was too nice for my own good, and too easy to cheat on.. said this to a room full of fellow church goer friends.. I'm so tired of my kindness being mistaken for weakness. Time to not put up with this shit anymore. ..I think his admitting his faults and shortcomings is what threw me most, opposed to throwing blame at me. But it's so true it definitely doe…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/12/19 02:24 AM
8

I completely relate with this. I want to establish stronger boundaries next. My ex twisted and walked over mine.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/12/19 01:53 AM
8

Really helped reading this. Thank you for sharing. Specially how you felt validated by helping, I relate to that a lot.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/12/19 01:18 AM
5

Thank you, I'm taking in everyone's advice here. It's why I thought to post in the first place, as I know I just haven't been in a good mental place. I thought tapering off the relationship somehow made it feel less severe, but maybe it's just prolonging my saddness of what I wish could have been. He's lamely asked if I can still help drive him to get his car repaired.. he should've taken me up on it when we were still a couple, and appreciated my generosity then.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/12/19 11:47 PM
3

Ha dickmatizing, yup. Doesn't help I lost my virginity to him after a lifetime of unhealthily sexual repression and religious guilt/shame. I ultimately want a loving long term relationship most, but have recently toyed the idea of casual dating as I miss having sex, but emotionally I don't know if I can actually handle surface level relationships. I'm kinda curious to sexually explore more, but afraid I'll end up worse off mentally by attempting even tiptoing into the hookup culture.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/12/19 11:41 PM
5

Thank you, that's a really good insight. I only found this subreddit this morning, but it feels like everything I need to hear right now. I think why it's become so hard with my ex, is I allowed sexuality too early before properly screening him, and by then felt chemically bonded and it was that much harder to let go, and made me more inclined to give passes. It makes me sick I was so upfront, honest, and vulnerable, and he saw fit to be greedy and manipulative anyway. Not to be vain, but strang…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/12/19 11:29 PM
2

I know this is too late now, but had I presented myself earlier on of not putting up with his bullshit and giving too many chances, I can't help wondering if he would have respected me better, maybe not been such a fuckboy. Or based on what I've written, was he always going to be a fuckboy no matter what. Someone else I confided in basically said I was at fault for how things went down.. I don't think that's entirely fair though either. It's not my fault he chose to manipulate and lie to me, tha…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/12/19 11:19 PM
2

I'll read more of the material suggested. It kills me I have more self work to do. I've been in therapy before, and thought I was getting to a good place. Then I met the fuckboy. Makes me sad and wonder if I hadn't accidentally been a Pickmeisha, would he still have been an asshole? Or did I by mistake send signals he could walk all over me, even though that's the last thing I wanted. On some level I'd feel better knowing he was always going to be an asshole, even if I'd presented higher quality…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/12/19 11:09 PM
4

Sounds like a harsh truth I need to face. I am suspecting upon research he might actually fit the psychopath profile. I don't know for sure. Thank you for replying and your advice. I'll let it sink in, to give me courage to leave. I don't know why I'm having such a hard time letting go. His actions have frankly been repulsive
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/12/19 10:56 PM
3

I know, I think I partly feel sympathy for his poor life choices?! (lame I know, as he brought it on himself). Like I can tell he inwardly deals with a low self-esteem and depression issue. Some deluded part of me felt like I wanted us to help elevate each other.. but all he's done is used me selfishly. I'm afraid of finding nothing better, which self analyzing means I'm not in a good place myself.. My best revenge will be to live well without him, and prioritize my life into a better direction.…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/12/19 10:50 PM
1

The only way he's acted on his words, is he's acting nicer towards me lately, asking more often how I'm doing, treating me to occasional food I guess. Basic friend level stuff. Given everything, that's not enough though.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/12/19 10:39 PM
3

Thank you for your kind responses and insights. I appreciate it. I feel like your interpretation sounds correct. He's proved time and again his extensive lying nature. I think some part of me still hoped, maybe just as friends, I might encourage a positive influence/change from him.. I think I'm more likely deluding myself and hate it. I just can't believe someone can be so secretively vile, while being so kind and appearing supportive & caring to your face. It's unbelievable. And religion engra…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/12/19 10:36 PM
2

But that's the thing, he still clearly verbalizes wanting me. He says he wants us to be close again someday and that he fucked up. He says I did nothing wrong and he made all the mistakes. I think I'm stuck always trying to see the best in people, and I see him as damaged and having poor coping mechanisms. But I also cannot trust him anymore. I've never felt more alone Edit: I agree I need a therapist at this point
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/12/19 10:13 PM
6

Makes me sad people are down voting my post. :( Goes to show it's better to seek a trained therapist for help & genuine support, then online anonymous strangers.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/12/19 10:08 PM
3

Thank you. This has been a very difficult time for me. I keep thinking once Christmas is over, once we've exchanged gifts, that I should go my own way. It's just confusing how he still acts like he wants me and acknowledges my kindness, but he's proved already he's full of empty promises.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/12/19 10:05 PM
2

I know at the heart of it this is the correct answer.. I hate it's come to this point. I'm afraid of leaving because I will sorely miss his physical chemistry and charm, and fear I won't be able to find that again with someone new. I'm also terrified of settling. I once tried dating a man who treated me well and emotional connection was good, but the chemistry really lacked and his kisses did nothing for me to point I became severely depressed. I struggle with low self-esteem and worry I can't f…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/12/19 09:52 PM
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