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YourMrFahrenheit Archive

View 0 posts and 694 comments by YourMrFahrenheit on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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–

What, to you, is the cutoff for that?
/r/PurplePillDebate29/07/26 11:20 AM
2

No, early 20s.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/26 07:59 PM
19

[CITATION NEEDED] Bro, women make up a greater proportion of new homeowners than men, I’m deeply skeptical that you have any evidence that women are more fiscally irresponsible. Women make 80% of consumer decisions in the US; that doesn’t mean they’re overspending it means that in many families the men are deferring to the women on spending choices.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/07/26 07:58 PM
19

Women will date “down” quite readily if the man brings something other than money to the relationship. I’ve never made more money than my wife but I’m a fantastic cook, we have incredible chemistry in conversations (both trivial and deep), we have a few shared hobbies, and I pull my fair share around the home and with the kids. I could go on but you get the point. Although I make decent money now, I still make less than her, but when we first got together I was making hardly any money at all, bu…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/07/26 06:44 PM
3

Women are rapidly catching up to men in earnings, and surpassing them in some places. And they’re doing it with “nonsense degrees.” I wouldn’t be too publicly smug about how women choose to become educated.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/07/26 07:23 PM
2

Sick of the idea of hookups, or sick of the hookups they’re used to having?
/r/PurplePillDebate22/07/26 11:35 AM
4

Among US married couples with a disparity in education, the more educated spouse is now more often the woman than the man (though the income split still favors men).
/r/PurplePillDebate22/07/26 11:23 AM
3

AFBB was a sensible strategy under patriarchy where women had limited autonomy. Now that women have more financial and reproductive autonomy, there’s no reason to have a ltr with a man the wouldn’t also hook up with if ltr wasn’t an option (unless it’s on the general principle of not wanting to be with a “catch” for short term when they’d rather have long term, “if I can’t have him the way I want him I’d rather not have him at all”).
/r/PurplePillDebate22/07/26 11:00 AM
–

Lol who’s gonna tell her 😂
/r/PurplePillDebate20/07/26 02:00 PM
30

“If the men in that position hypothetically had some mythical angelic girl come into his life for one year and they gave him a little bit of experience, he would even out to a well rounded individual that can navigate properly.” I can’t imagine a better attitude to ensure continued singledom. This is an almost perfect encapsulation of several different attitudes that keep men single.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/07/26 04:15 PM
-1

I was traveling for work once and wound up in a hotel hot tub with a bunch of gay men after the day’s activities were done. They were hitting on me and being outrageous and lewd, trying to make me embarrassed. I wasn’t the only straight guy there but I was the only one they were hitting on. Didn’t bother me a bit.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/07/26 12:52 PM
1

I think we’re actually pretty much in agreement, then. If it’s done out of insecurity that’s a big relationship challenge to work through but doesn’t merit codified punishment under the law. Intentionally accusing a woman of paternity fraud with the sole or even just primary intent of humiliating her should be treated like any other form of slander. Would you agree with all of that?
/r/PurplePillDebate14/07/26 09:41 PM
2

That’s no reason not to allow someone to propose a test in a safe manner. And as discussed elsewhere here, intentionally requesting a paternity test to be used to harm someone else’s reputation would also be punishable.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/07/26 09:28 PM
0

I’d be fine with that, if he’s done nothing wrong he has nothing to fear and the relationship will benefit from her being able to soothe any irrational insecurities.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/07/26 09:27 PM
4

Is there any reason the fact that a test was done wouldn’t be discreet?
/r/PurplePillDebate14/07/26 09:11 PM
4

I feel like you think faith and trust have to be blind to be "real."
/r/PurplePillDebate14/07/26 08:35 PM
2

Why would the paternity test be public?
/r/PurplePillDebate14/07/26 08:34 PM
1

I'm celebrating my 12th Anniversary this year, with the woman I've been with for 17 years. I think I'm doing at least something right.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/07/26 08:34 PM
1

Zero problem with it. I have nothing to hide. Any insecurity she could potentially have is her problem to deal with, and frankly I'd be more concerned with helping her work through any issues she has so she can feel secure than I am in preserving my own ego as some inscrutable person. I love her, and I'd understand intuitively that any insecurity she might have is not about me (or it would cause me to self-reflect and ask how I may have failed in helping her in feeling secure).
/r/PurplePillDebate14/07/26 08:15 PM
1

Are you suggesting that a woman who has a child by a man other than her partner... isn't sure whether the paternity is in question or not? It's impossible to make an honest mistake with paternity fraud lol. The woman knows she was either faithful or she wasn't.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/07/26 08:10 PM
4

"I compared a false accusation of paternity fraud to paternity fraud." That's kind of the problem. It's a bad comparison.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/07/26 08:08 PM
2

I don't think having male friends is inherently suspicious; I certainly hope not as some of my best friends are women. I think it's possible for other thinks to be suspicious.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/07/26 08:03 PM
0

My point is simply that "I acknowledge the possibility that my trust is in vain" is not the same as not trusting. It's like someone who has religious faith acknowledging that they could be mistaken. It doesn't mean they don't have faith, it's simply acknowledging their humanity.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/07/26 08:01 PM
4

Assuaging irrational insecurities is not the same as assuaging irrational insecurities? They seem pretty similar to me.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/07/26 07:58 PM
2

Of course we can, but I enjoy learning about other peoples' perspectives. Happy to drop it, but I'm coming at this conversation with a genuine interest in understanding you, not trying to throw any mud (hope that's clear, tone comes through as shit through the internet).
/r/PurplePillDebate14/07/26 07:57 PM
3

Thousands of dollars of financial support vs. hurt feelings... which one do you think ought to carry a codified punishment?
/r/PurplePillDebate14/07/26 07:56 PM
5

Are you arguing that a cuckolded man hasn't been wronged? The opportunity to raise and be loved by a child is precious, but it doesn't negate all other factors in determining whether the man was wronged.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/07/26 07:55 PM
3

I think that's generally only under the case where the false accuser already knows their accusation is false, which is pretty much the polar opposite of what's under discussion here.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/07/26 07:51 PM
2

"despite the fact that they have given you no reason not to trust" So is the man off the hook if the woman acted in a manner that would raise suspicion even if she didn't in fact cheat?
/r/PurplePillDebate14/07/26 07:48 PM
4

I think the rationale for punishing paternity fraud is "this man paid thousands of dollars and spent a time of time raising a child under the false pretext that the child is theirs." Which... feels like something that should be compensated financially, doesn't it? Like in a codified way? What exactly is the harm of a paternity test? Who is being *measurably* wronged?
/r/PurplePillDebate14/07/26 07:46 PM
3

Do you think it's possible for someone to trust someone else, while accepting that a person can be burned when trusting? Does accepting one's own imperfect ability to discern mean they don't actually trust their partner? If a woman is feeling insecure about her husband's fidelity, checks his phone, and finds nothing, should he divorce her if he finds she snooped? That seems like a similar situation to me, and reads as equally insane. People are allowed to be insecure, they're allowed to question…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/07/26 07:44 PM
-2

And that's fine! I am the same way. I have two kids and have never given a second thought to whether I'm their biological father. Even if I found out they weren't at this point, I love them too much to do anything about it if I discovered they weren't. But I don't think it's quite a leap to think that divorce is the clear response to questioning paternity.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/07/26 07:41 PM
5

I don't think it's a strong premise to say that a paternity test is an implication of cheating. I don't carry insurance because I assume I'll get in a car accident some day. I carry insurance because I'm aware that I can do everything right and have full faith in my fellow drivers and still get t-boned.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/07/26 07:37 PM
-10

I think it's a bad premise to assume that the paternity test means he thinks she cheated. My impression isn't: I don't trust her and I think she cheated -> I want a paternity test. The rationale is: I trust her and don't think she'd cheat, but I know I have the capacity to be wrong, and I don't want to raise a child that isn't mine -> I want a paternity test. If you interpret a request for a paternity test of the former, that's fine. But do you disagree that the latter rationale is reasonable to…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/07/26 07:25 PM
-6

So he can be right and the family gets blown up, or he can be wrong and the family gets blown up. So, if the man questions the family gets blown up. Are you indicating that there is no condition under which a man can expect to questions paternity that doesn't blow up the family? Because that sort of presupposes that men cannot be fooled, which is flattering, but probably wrong.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/07/26 07:11 PM
–

"A human is a body and the electrical/chemical patterns that distinguish it from a corpse." Ah, I see you haven't watched the anime classic, Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/07/26 06:24 PM
0

Close to 100%. This has been proven time and again.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/07/26 12:41 AM
1

Or it’s not genuine. I think you’ve got it backwards. If I’m hungry and I happen to walk by a pizza joint, a burger stand, and a sushi place, and I get a burger, I didn’t desire a burger, I was just hungry and a burger was the best of the nearby convenient options. If I actively go out and go to a restaurant for a steak, I wasn’t hungry, I specifically desired the steak. Indiscriminate desire isn’t actual genuine desire.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/07/26 12:15 AM
3

It's weird to me that your leading sentence is about the importance of war and hunting as defining elements of our evolution, when our progress as a species has involved ever decreasing war and hunting. If you believe in evolution, war and hunting are less important to being a man now than they've ever been in human history. You say we're made to kill, yet an ever smaller proportion of human death is due to violence as our species evolves (unless you think evolution has stopped which... isn't ev…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/07/26 07:15 PM
5

But you started the conversation it actually IS your job to explain your position. You said some stuff that doesn't make any sense, and when someone asked you to explain your nonsense you gave a NO U type response. That's not what a conversation is.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/07/26 07:12 PM
5

The generic male reply is "cold free pizza is still pizza." My general response to that is, "but what if pizza had a decent chance of hurting when you ate it, and it could also get you pregnant if you don't put a napkin around it, oh and also if certain pizzerias found out you ate the crappy pizza they wouldn't let you buy their pizza even if you really really like that pizza and are willing to pay for it but now you're screwed because you were hungry and a little drunk so you ate the pizza that…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/07/26 07:12 PM
2

"No sex is much better than bad sex." Here, I think, is another major hinge difference between men and women. Whether due to socialization or biology I couldn't say.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/07/26 06:56 PM
2

I'm not sure how I'd feel. I'm queuing more off of the observed behavior of others than off of my own hypothetical feelings.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/07/26 06:22 PM
2

Full disclosure/context; I'm a joyfully and monogamously married man, coming up on 14 years this Fall (together almost 5 years before that). This is all hypothetical to me. But if I were single, and I wanted sex, and the only sex that were available to me were with someone who didn't like me as a person, I'd still do it, because I enjoy sex for its own sake (though the other participant liking me certainly magnifies the experience by a lot!). For men, you HAVE to be liked by someone to be able t…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/07/26 06:03 PM
5

It doesn't strike me as a harassment for someone to claim you're acting like someone would on an alt account. This website doesn't do much to prevent the use of alts, it's a legitimate thing to consider when posting. It doesn't strike me as a personal attack either.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/07/26 05:43 PM
1

The relationship and especially the women-focused subs here on Reddit are chock full of women who tolerate men who clearly don't like or care about them, hoping they'll turn it around. I would agree emphatically with you, it's not worthwhile if it's breaking their hearts. To the point of whether it's an advantage or not... that depends entirely on the person. For you, do you need to feel desired and wanted to enjoy sex? I think most people, man or woman, do. But women don't need to be desired or…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/07/26 05:39 PM
1

Do you mean what do I think are, arguably, the advantages of being a woman when it comes to casual sex specifically? Or are you referring to OP's broader question on relationships, sex, and dating in general.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/07/26 05:32 PM
5

Plenty of women do it, so I think it's pretty arguable. It may not be worthwhile to you. But it's hardly unusual behavior.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/07/26 05:31 PM
3

That has nothing to do with what I said. I'm talking about whether or not consensual sex with someone who doesn't like you is worthwhile. What you're talking about reads to me as implied coercion or non-consent.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/07/26 05:19 PM
2

Women don't have to pay. Regardless, as I said, it's arguable whether that's an advantage or not. The experiences of casual sex as a man and as a woman are quite different.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/07/26 05:15 PM
3

I don't mean to imply that men don't experience emotional vulnerability. But I think the stereotypes of men as being occasionally aloof or at the very least very low in emotional intelligence is more of what I'm talking about.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/07/26 05:10 PM
14

"I'd much rather be told no than a fake yes" I think most women think like this, and most men would prefer a fake yes to a no. I think that's the backbone of like half the arguments in these kinds of debates.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/07/26 05:07 PM
-2

The corollary to that is that a woman doesn't have to get a man to like her to be able to have sex. It's arguable whether that's an advantage or not. But there are plenty of sexless men who would happily have sex with someone who didn't like them as a person or find them attractive.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/07/26 05:06 PM
0

"Assuming the thing with a 50% baserate doesn't happen...."
/r/PurplePillDebate08/07/26 05:04 PM
8

I'm guessing safety will be pretty high up on the list, both physical and emotional.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/07/26 04:41 PM
–

I was reading a subreddit on film and someone pointed out that Guillermo del Toro has mastered the art of showing beautiful women finding the beauty in a monstrous man. Someone responded, wondering when he was going to make a film about a beautiful man find the beauty in a monstrous woman. Somehow I doubt he'll ever make that film.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/07/26 02:27 PM
2

I think a general sentiment in this thread is, in the case of infidelity, run the perpetrator through the legal meat grinder. I doubt you’ll get pushback on that.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/07/26 11:20 PM
1

I was an athlete in college and the hazing for the freshmen on the girl’s team pretty much every year involved a stripper, specifically with the understanding that it would be something they wouldn’t want and would find very unpleasant.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/07/26 06:57 PM
1

Education and professional success are positively associated with ever getting married and not getting divorced once married, so the men aren’t too intimated, evidently.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/07/26 07:32 PM
1

Right. And in pair bonding species, cuckolding (and males cheating, too, even abandoning their pups to do so) is rampant. So I’m not really sure what the obsession is with having women able to pair bond if you’re a redpill guy.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/07/26 12:17 PM
8

I saw a woman refer to her husband as “licknotizing” her over in girldinnerdiaries.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/07/26 01:10 AM
2

I mean AI was quite literally trained on good writing. Is it any surprise? Like you can tell a lab grown diamond from a mined diamond because the lab grown are “too perfect.” It’s not a judgment, it’s just a feature that makes it stand out.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/07/26 01:03 AM
8

It’s not an attachment chemical. It’s a reinforcement chemical. Subtle but significant difference.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/07/26 01:00 AM
12

Neither is mutually exclusive. Women release dopamine after sex and men also release oxytocin.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/07/26 12:52 AM
5

Anecdotal but sure let’s roll with that. What’s the published, peer reviewed evidence that that diminishes after repeated new partners? Hell, I don’t even need that. What’s an established mechanism that has been studied by which it could happen?
/r/PurplePillDebate02/07/26 12:51 AM
20

It’s not pedantic at all. It’s at the very core of these arguments. It means one thing in studies but another colloquially, and idiots here switch back and forth between definitions opportunistically. That’s like the opposite of pedantic, using the word correct or not fundamentally changes the correctness of the argument.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/07/26 12:46 AM
38

I had an extended stint in behavioral neuroscience including vasopressin and oxytocin expression and social reinforcement. Most people in PPD don’t even know what pair bonding is, and they especially don’t know what it’s not. Pair bonding in the neuropsych. literature just means increased preference for time near partner vs. time near non-partner animals. It has exactly zero to do with sexual fidelity. Prairie voles are the primary specie used in oxytocin and vasopressin studies, and while they …
/r/PurplePillDebate02/07/26 12:44 AM
1

You just contradicted a woman you’re talking to in this thread lmao. Who are you to say she’s lying?
/r/PurplePillDebate24/06/26 01:15 PM
2

Pure projection. Unless you have vagina you have no idea whether those sizes feels perceptibly different.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/06/26 12:28 PM
12

The fact that men aren't inherently superior to women doesn't make them inferior. I'm not better than any woman. No woman is better than me. I don't understand why that's such a disagreeable proposition to you.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/06/26 10:17 PM
9

No. It can also imply that they’re equal. It’s jarring to read that there are people who don’t consider this possibility.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/06/26 04:48 PM
21

Women don’t object to domesticity or sex. They object to objectification and being diminished to a function. Is this really not obvious?
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/26 04:25 PM
15

Very good take. Most human attributes are scalar, not binary, and aren't even mutually exclusive. I'm a stable, dependable man, but I still make an effort to surprise my wife, excite her, bring her new experiences, etc. I'm both boring and exciting.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/06/26 12:46 PM
2

The majority, well over half. Probably half of that half. Almost none.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/06/26 12:34 PM
1

Oh you’re sooo close to getting it lil buddy.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/06/26 08:57 PM
1

“It it supposed to prove that the very first sentence of the comment I was responding to is wrong” Yeah and I explained how you didn’t actually prove anything lmao.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/06/26 06:45 PM
1

See, this is a classic example. If you go out into the real world, good looking guys fumble all the time and average looking guys can pull. Good looks are neither necessary nor sufficient. Massively help, of course. But neither necessary nor sufficient.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/06/26 06:10 PM
2

By getting experience.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/06/26 01:37 PM
6

What is this supposed to prove? I was reading a thread in askwomen the other day about sex with virgins and there were tons of replies saying it was the best of their lives because the guys were so enthusiastic and eager to please and attentive and flattering. Can I snip and crop a bunch of those comments and use that as proof that virgin men are better lovers?
/r/PurplePillDebate14/06/26 10:00 PM
5

Idk dude, I think you take the L here. You’re arguing semantics and she’s arguing an actual point, then you accuse her of being the one lacking intellectual curiosity…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/06/26 09:51 PM
4

Your argument assumes that the average to below average guy knows how to be (or inadvertently gets into) the right place at the right time, which isn’t really defensible.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/06/26 09:34 PM
-1

Those claims aren’t mutually exclusive.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/06/26 03:53 PM
2

There’s not really any evidence for anything you just said. And men having certainty of paternity is an invention of the last 100 years or less. So you can’t really say it’s baked in when the requisite tools are completely outside our evolutionary window. To be clear, I’m using the term cuck in the biological sense of misattributed paternity, not as in the kink.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/06/26 07:17 PM
2

Gotcha. Then yeah, you just need to read more about what pair bonding actually means. It has nothing to do with sexual monogamy.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/06/26 07:08 PM
3

Sounds like you’re telling me humans don’t pair bond.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/06/26 07:02 PM
0

Paid bonding mammals aren’t sexually monogamous. The standard model for vasopressin and oxytocin research is prairie voles. Female voles cuck their mates at every chance they can and male voles try to get females pregnant other than their mate basically whenever they’re not socializing with their dame. You probably shouldn’t talk about the importance of pair bonding if you don’t really understand it.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/06/26 06:23 PM
3

Experience is not needed to learn anatomy. I’ll concede learning to make someone feel comfortable, to a degree, but you don’t need to have sex to learn that. Paying attention to people’s reactions is not sex specific either.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/06/26 01:04 AM
5

I think your whole OP grossly overestimates the importance of learning opportunities in being a good lover as a man. Know some basic anatomy, give some attention to making her emotional comfortable and excited, and pay attention to what you're doing and how she's reacting. It's not nearly as difficult as patronizing stereotypes of "complicated women" would suggest.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/06/26 06:11 PM
7

"A minority of men know how to provide a good sexual experience but have less incentive to prioritize any individual partner." If you think having easy access to alternatives means you don't want to or don't have to prioritize your sexual partner's pleasure, as opposed to their pleasure being something worthwhile in its own right, it's probably a good thing that you don't have access to women's bodies.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/06/26 05:14 PM
5

What they’re willing to tolerate and what they like are two very different things. Don’t get them confused.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/06/26 01:15 PM
1

They call it jestering because the idea of having a personality feels completely performative to them. I think that’s really telling.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/26 04:35 PM
21

There are 4 billionish women on the planet. Some have a problem with it, some don’t. It’s not that deep.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/26 11:42 AM
16

One thing that I’ve noticed on social media in general, and especially on Reddit, and double especially on this sub, is that people with little to no sexual experience drastically underestimate the level of emotional connection with another person that sex brings. I suspect it has something to do with the fact that most of their sexuality is between them and a screen. No judgment. But it’s just a completely incomparable experience.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/06/26 08:55 PM
3

"If the biological drive is to 'marry up,' what happens when the pool of men who earn more than the average high-achieving woman shrinks? I see plenty of successful, career-driven women in my own social circles who are either single or dating men who are arguably 'below' them in terms of traditional status metrics like salary or job title. Is the hypergamy argument being applied too broadly here, or is there a nuance I'm missing?" If a theory directly conflicts with your observations, you need t…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/06/26 02:41 PM
0

There is no moral obligation to select the unselected. There is a moral obligation to vote for policies that prevent harm. Once you choose to vote that way, you are no longer unselected for reasons beyond your control. You are now *choosing* to be unselected.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/06/26 12:25 AM
0

https://www.google.com/search?q=gains+short+screener+items&sca\_esv=bcc915fd4b92abab&biw=393&bih=695&sxsrf=ANbL-n6m8O7oxQSmh\_1iHVQxivyJbimWtg%3A1781019076172&ei=xDEoapmXCqGkiLMP3Z2HGA&oq=gains+short+screener+items&gs\_lp=EhNtb2JpbGUtZ3dzLXdpei1zZXJwIhpnYWlucyBzaG9ydCBzY3JlZW5lciBpdGVtczIFECEYoAEyBRAhGKABMgUQIRigATIFECEYoAEyBRAhGKABMggQABiiBBiJBTIIEAAYogQYiQUyCBAAGKIEGIkFSMEWUIwJWN0QcAF4ApABAJgBtQGgAa0HqgEDMC43uAEDyAEA-AEBmAIIoALYBsICBBAAGEfCAgYQABgWGB7CAgsQABiABBiGAxiKBcICBRAhGKsCwgIFECEYnwXCAg…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/06/26 03:34 PM
2

The chronically online seem collectively obsessesed with the idea that we're all drifting through existence in an absolute haze of cognitive dissonance.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/06/26 03:21 PM
1

My wife has a reddit handle and posts as a man in order to avoid harassment, but she's definitely had to go back and edit comments to avoid outing herself. I suspect the degree of intentional misrepresentation of identities here is pretty high to avoid unwanted attention, doxxing, etc.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/06/26 03:18 PM
1

Did you google the GAIN-SS and read what externalizing means as operationalized in the way I'm describing it?
/r/PurplePillDebate09/06/26 03:13 PM
-6

It's not a comparative, it's an absolute. Other peoples' shitty behavior is not license to also be shitty. That's a childish counterargument. There's nothing wrong with venting. Processing your feelings is healthy and important. Do you feel like you can confidently express the difference between venting and externalizing? The fact that you switched up the language I used (externalizing) to a softer and more acceptable behavior (venting) suggests either strawman or legitimate misunderstanding of …
/r/PurplePillDebate09/06/26 02:51 PM
-3

"Making their problems other peoples' problems," the obvious example would be violence. But just being an unpleasant person to be around because you can't handle your own pain. Lots of people are in pain and are still perfectly polite, reasonable, and not shitty to be around. There's something about men being unselected that tends to make them none of these things, ie., making their problem someone else's problem. I generally believe people should treat each other well; unselected men tend not t…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/06/26 02:30 PM
1

"In that case his reaction to being unselected is what makes it moral. Not the lack of attraction itself." It's this, exactly.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/06/26 02:24 PM
-1

"What's interesting is that this moralization only seems to happen with unselected men." Women aren't moralizing being unattractive, they're moralizing unselected men responding to not being selected with externalizing and making their problem other peoples' problems (which is a universally undesirable trait). "The men women actually select, date, sleep with, and complain about afterward are often given far more benefit of the doubt despite their actual behavior." See above; externalizing behavi…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/06/26 02:22 PM
4

"A man running shirtless isn't being sexual" As a woman married to a competitive distance runner, my wife would like to have a word with you lol. Jokes aside, this post is spot-on. Nothing is inherently sexual except sex. Does anyone have the image of the woman being approached by mall security while breastfeeding her infant in front of a Victoria's Secret store?
/r/PurplePillDebate08/06/26 06:46 PM
7

You are not immune to propaganda.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/06/26 10:54 PM
2

Part of winning is improvement and growth, which requires self reflection and by extension vulnerability. As Aerosmith sang, “you gotta lose to know how to win.” The loser bin is full of people with top tier talent and bottom tier resilience.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/06/26 10:51 PM
13

Your flair is “feminism is terrorism.” Surely your reaction here reflects a balanced and neutral reaction to her contribution to the subject.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/06/26 10:36 PM
–

When women say that want to feel “safe with a man” I think most men totally miss what that means. Women mean emotionally safe, more so than physically safe; having women friends attests to your capacity as an emotionally safe person. To the degree women mean physically safe, they mean “safe FROM a man” as much or more as “safe BECAUSE OF a man.” And, again, having women as friends affirms that you’re a safe person to be around. Women friends are almost always a net positive.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/06/26 04:15 PM
2

I think what's interesting about that is that high income is one of the best current predictors both for getting married, and for the marriage being stable. If financial stability were the biggest driver of marriage, you'd expect it to be lowest among those who already have money, and you'd expect those with money to more readily divorce since they can. Yet the opposite is true for both of those.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/06/26 04:11 PM
–

I'd be a lot more willing to take that concern seriously if the relationship were shown to be causal rather than correlational.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/05/26 08:25 PM
–

Prove it.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/05/26 08:24 PM
–

Individually? Sure. On a cultural level? No, that's unrealistic to anyone who has ever picked up a history book.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/05/26 08:23 PM
–

Oh, 100% agree with you. I was narrating, not defending. I think the "smashing the patriarchy helps men" line is about exactly this issue. Men are now free to be who they want. The cost they've paid is the guarantee of a marriage if they provide enough financially. I would argue that's a good trade for men.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/05/26 08:22 PM
–

When women needed men, their needs were all the same, so a man's path to romantic success was clear; provide. Now need is gone, and only want remains, and wants vary far more than needs. There's no longer a certain path to romantic success. You can be yourself as a man, and if you're lucky, who you are is what someone else wants. But it's hard and scary to be yourself and so young men yearn for the time when they didn't have to be themselves, all they had to be was useful.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/05/26 07:48 PM
–

Do studies shows that trafficking goes up AFTER it becomes legal? Or, is it just associated? I would imagine places where it's legal are more likely to be large, progressive cities with big commercial hubs and lots of transplants. Which is also the exact conditions I'd expect to be associated with trafficking.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/05/26 07:46 PM
–

Men born in 2002 (same year as you) predominantly had mothers born ~30 years earlier, so 1972. So the mothers of the people your age were predominantly born into a world where these things applied. Generational shifts take a LONG time to root on a wide scale, especially for something big like that.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/05/26 07:44 PM
9

I’m gonna be honest man; if you treat women well I don’t think too many of them are gonna bully you and tell you to go die just for not being a chad. Like, on the internet maybe. Behind a screen. Where five women saying the same thing might be 5/6 women or it could be 5/1000 women and you don’t really know because it’s the internet.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/05/26 08:45 PM
15

If only there were a way for a man to have an opportunity to demonstrate forethought, effort, and consideration. Like some event that the man could ask a woman to join him on, where he makes a decisive suggestion on a place and time to do a thing together with the woman and then show up reliably and then throughout the course of the shared activity, demonstrate interest, humor, and intellect. He could use that as a way to show his value. Idk though, feels crazy.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/05/26 08:41 PM
8

Do you have application data to support that? Are men not being accepted at the same rate with equivalent high school credentials, or are they underperforming in high school relative to girls and/or not applying in as high of numbers? If they’re graduating at lower rates after enrollment, is there evidence of institutional disparity? Or are they choosing majors with higher dropout rates and/or not taking advantage of university provided mental health resources if their workload is becoming too m…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/05/26 08:13 PM
2

You’re confusing a between subjects result for a within subjects result.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/05/26 06:48 PM
36

I feel like young men are hearing "men should be useful" and then grossly overestimating what constitutes being sufficiently useful. I knew my wife has a stressful work week next week, and my kids have a lot of after school events, so I took five extra minutes while meal planning to ensure that at least half our dinners were things that store and reheat well, and/or are portable. Super low effort. Took maybe half an hour total out of my week to plan the meals, order the groceries online for pick…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/05/26 06:14 PM
2

Treating people to things feels good. It’s weird to me that you don’t agree with that but okay. I treat my kids to ice cream. I surprise my wife with nice bottles of wine, or unusual cuts of meat. I like buying the first round of drinks when I’m out with the boys. I realize money is finite, but I believe in the value of spreading enjoyment. All that aside, if you’re really poor or really stingy, there are lots of free things you can do on a date.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/05/26 08:24 PM
6

None of what you just said implied they’re mutually exclusive. My wife got me tickets to a concert to see one of my all time favorite bands for my birthday last year. My wife is the love of my life, my best friend, and an absolute smoke show. Do you think me enjoying being with her at that concert was in any way dependent on the concert itself? Or would you concede the possibility that I might actually like my wife?
/r/PurplePillDebate28/05/26 03:18 PM
4

Why do you think a woman being interested in a man, and her appreciating and enjoying his effort are mutually exclusive?
/r/PurplePillDebate28/05/26 03:09 PM
1

Have you personally experienced that? We may simply have a disconnect in life experience here. I’ve never been on a date when she wasn’t visibly excited to be out with me. It’s hard to imagine a woman agreeing to a date, finding the guy well groomed and well dressed and excited to be with her, and not be into the moment. And how could a woman be bored? If you ask her questions about herself then she’s the one talking, not you.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/05/26 02:59 PM
6

Maybe that’s what I’m missing in this conversation. When I was single I obviously had women who weren’t interested if I approached (sometimes even cruelly so) but I generally just slid that on. But once I had a date lined up with a woman, there was always enthusiasm on her end. I’ve never been on a date where the woman wasn’t visibly excited to be there.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/05/26 02:34 PM
4

I can sympathize with that. But my question still stands; don’t you like wining and dining women?
/r/PurplePillDebate28/05/26 02:31 PM
7

You will have more success in dating if you lead strong, with enthusiasm, and then recalibrate. As opposed to starting from a position of cynicism and seeing if she takes the initiative to escalate.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/05/26 02:25 PM
-1

“You don’t need to wine and dine them or give any of that bs princess treatment.” Do young dudes today not enjoy wining and dining women? This is so foreign to me. Is this a generational thing? I’m 38, happily married, was off the market before the apps even existed. Maybe I’m just old. When I was single, I always enjoyed showing off my attention and interest. It’s like Christmas, better to give than to receive. My favorite part of Christmas is seeing the joyful reaction of someone I love to ope…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/05/26 02:22 PM
2

"A lot of people still hold outdated views when it comes to their partners and what their roles should be throughout the relationship and that leads to a miss match of values and effort both perceived and real." I mean... that's evolution, right? Women and men who walk the walk in terms of what they profess to want will have more happiness in life. Your comment feels like you're complaining about women who espouse progressive views, but then sort/select men based off of very traditional gendered…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/05/26 01:22 PM
2

That’s relative, so not relevant. Your point still fails.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/05/26 12:40 AM
2

Highest divorce rate is actually among lower income women. The data refutes your premise. And if you’re echoing a sentiment but the sentiment doesn’t reflect reality it’s a bad premise.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/05/26 12:21 AM
-1

Let’s start with one. You’re asserting that you’ve seen the following sentiment, which you take as fact: “When men make more money they try to get closer to women, when women make more money they distance themselves from men.” But tell me; among women, which income demographic has the highest and lowest marriage rates?
/r/PurplePillDebate25/05/26 11:37 PM
31

I think it’s debatable whether there’s a “crisis.” People are more empowered to have autonomy now than at any point in history, which is far more important than “fairness” in dating. Plus if we tried to fix this, then women would have to be in relationships and date undesirable men; is that “fair” to those women who could be single instead? You can’t punish women to make it fair for men, and being with an undesirable man is definitely a form of punishment. Is that “fair?”
/r/PurplePillDebate25/05/26 11:05 PM
-1

Your whole post is chock full of incorrect premises though so it’s hard to argue.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/05/26 10:44 PM
1

Someone pin this comment. Mods, get on this.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/05/26 01:58 AM
8

Look up Aella’s kink chart over on r/dataisbeautiful
/r/PurplePillDebate23/05/26 08:14 PM
9

Do you disagree that there are forms of force other than physical coercion?
/r/PurplePillDebate23/05/26 06:05 PM
0

“Sex is supposed to be an indicator of how a man is doing in his life” No tf it’s not. It’s supposed to be a moment of connection between two people. People who see it as a reward almost universally have unfulfilling sex lives, men and women both.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/05/26 05:31 PM
3

I mean this as delicately as possible, but this reads as unhinged schizo psycho babble.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/05/26 10:52 AM
1

It seems contradictory to me to propose a person so introverted and solitary to the point that my advice feels humiliating and wasteful, while also yearning for romantic connection to a degree that they refer to not having it as "goal failure." Also, first sentence. It's not fair. It's not supposed to be.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/05/26 01:30 AM
20

Sex and romance are not meant to be just or fair. It’s literally just evolution. And you can’t gamify it either and find the “right” moves. There are no guarantees. But there’s huge overlap between the things that will maximize your odds in sex and dating, and the things that will lead to a fulfilling life outside of sex and dating. Exercise. Eat right. Try to find meaning, success, and financial stability in your work. Read. Take in art. Socialize, platonically. Find reasons to like people. Be …
/r/PurplePillDebate21/05/26 04:40 PM
12

The rate at which the internet is diverging from realty is accelerating at an astonishing rate. The divergence between illusion and reality is getting wider every day.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/05/26 05:46 PM
2

Straight male. Honestly? The women saying 20% of men are attractive are being generous. Basic hygiene, basic fitness, basic attention to style and presentation. All extremely accessible, and I’d say if I’m walking down the street less than 20% of men hit all three of those. If you are genetically blessed in every other way you can maybe get away with skipping one (or two, if you’re really blessed) of those. But most men could get into that top 20% but just doing those three things. ETA: for cont…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/05/26 12:30 PM
1

My refutation of your point stands; humans don’t need hate to feel complete.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/05/26 08:51 PM
–

Farther from home = easier to get away with bad behavior. I have no idea whether there’s evidence to suggest people do that a lot, but I think it’s the same logic as being wary of people on work trips using the novel location and distance from home to cheat.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/05/26 08:35 PM
1

Would you say the most complete, happy, content people you know have hate in their hearts?
/r/PurplePillDebate17/05/26 08:33 PM
9

I’m a cancer epidemiologist. Step 1: get a PhD in cancer epidemiology 😬
/r/PurplePillDebate17/05/26 07:51 PM
–

If I wanted to hook up next weekend, and I was considering staying in for a LoTR marathon or going to a club, you have no advice for me that you think would be useful?
/r/PurplePillDebate17/05/26 07:47 PM
–

Would you say there are any activities that are more hookup adjacent than others?
/r/PurplePillDebate17/05/26 07:21 PM
8

That’s a fair correction. I’m a white collar worker in a relatively blue city, so I easily forget how prevalent that demographic is nationally. I don’t hate women. None of my friends hate women. None of my coworkers hate women. In fact we rather like them.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/05/26 07:17 PM
–

Would you agree that “clubs, concerts, festivals, and travel” are all places that lend themselves to infidelity more than, say, staying in for a 12 hour LoTR marathon? Not that it’s a guarantee. But surely you’d agree that those places are all very hookup adjacent activities?
/r/PurplePillDebate17/05/26 07:09 PM
10

To be fair, I think that attitude is most commonly seen in the men who aren’t chosen to participate in the fucking and sleeping around. I don’t know any men who are successful with women who also hate women.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/05/26 06:14 PM
4

Some shit jobs are essential for society to function. So what happens when society collectively gives the middle finger to the people who do the essential work?
/r/PurplePillDebate17/05/26 12:31 PM
4

That’s a very privileged take. Most people don’t have the luxury of finding work that is challenging, fulfilling, enjoyable, while also footing the bill for whatever lifestyle you want to live outside of work. There’s a vast network of repetitive, boring, unfulfilling and unenjoyable jobs that are necessary cogs in the machine of society. Are the people doing those jobs simply unlovable? I know that’s not what you’re directly saying, but it’s not hard to follow that through as a logical extensio…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/05/26 12:30 PM
1

https://medium.com/the-knowledge-of-freedom/do-women-really-prefer-men-the-same-age-while-men-prefer-younger-women-heres-the-truth-83534acf0808
/r/PurplePillDebate16/05/26 05:36 PM
3

The data doesn’t support that at all. The women willing and interested in dating more than 5 years older is minuscule.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/05/26 01:41 PM
1

Lmao tell me you don’t have a long term partner and kids and a full time professional job and hobbies and a social life without telling me you don’t have all that. Sure. Sometimes it’s nice to draw it out, take your time. But there are upper limits to that for many women for what is actually enjoyable. And likewise, there are women who can’t finish fast no matter what. And plenty of women finish faster or slower depending on the context. Saying “____ should take _____ minutes every time” is an u…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/05/26 05:23 PM
2

I’ve heard this referred to as the follow up to The Second Sex’s question that has no name. The original question was women looking around and asking a question that was so ingrained in society that it seemed absurd to even ask; is baby making and homemaking really all there is to life for a woman? That question liberated women. Men are now liberating themselves by asking their own question that has no name; is a woman’s love and affection valuable in and of itself? To be absolutely clear, I do …
/r/PurplePillDebate15/05/26 05:16 PM
1

I don’t agree with prescriptive time frames for sex, especially for women. Everyone is unique and there are so many ways people experience sex. For some women, with a ton of foreplay and a great eater? 2-3 minutes is enough to get there. For other women, they that half hour plus. For some women half an hour would be overstimulating and tortuous. Some women like to come multiple times. Some get overstimulated and can’t go more than once. Some can’t at all. Prescriptive statements like that should…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/05/26 02:17 PM
1

As with so many of these conversations, peoples' opinion on this will revolve largely around whether or not you believe people are honest with themselves about what they want (and, parenthetically, whether they're honest on surveys asking what they want).
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/26 06:08 PM
–

"But… you would marry a woman who was not enthusiastic with you even though she was also never enthusiastic with any other man first??? No, obviously not." Ehhhh. The types of guys making these comments absolutely would. That's part of their problem.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/26 07:04 PM
11

Not my take, but the takes you'll get a lot here will be: "It's more rare to be valued as a sex object than an actual person to connect with, so it's more flattering and therefore more desirable to be an object that is widely desired by many different women, even if your specific preference may be to seek individual monogamous companionship." "More men will experience a woman loving them than will experience a woman lusting for them (or at least hooking up with them casually). That makes it more…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/26 01:47 AM
9

A dead giveaway for this attitude is men who say that women should be more free about having sex because “it doesn’t require any effort for them to just lay there.” As if simply existing as a passive object for an actor to act upon is sufficient to the needs of these men.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/05/26 01:06 PM
2

“You do also understand that women like to be sexualized under some cases. If a dude approaches her and she finds him hot and wants to have sex with him she’ll be more responsive.” Sure. If a cold approach is going to work, it’s far more likely to work for a hot guy. But the point you’re missing is that that’s still a super low success rate. Cold approaching is a bad strategy regardless of how hot the guy is because women just don’t really like it. And, to OP’s point, reducing the number of men …
/r/PurplePillDebate09/05/26 10:31 AM
8

Interesting take. I’m upper middle class in a white collar job, as is my wife. I don’t know a single red pill man, or if I do they keep that shit to themselves in open company. And I also don’t know a single woman spewing off “end men”. I’ve never heard a woman irl say “they’re not lonely enough.” Most of us are in stable happy relationships and those that are single are wistful but content (both the men and the women). Definitely gonna sit with the class angle for a while.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/05/26 03:19 PM
0

Women can make standards than they themselves may or may not meet and adhere to those standards and be completely content being single. Men don’t seem, on average, to have the same capacity. So here we are. Women changed the meta because they decided, collectively, that they were content not getting what they wanted. Men will not and cannot change the meta until they collectively reach a similar point.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/05/26 06:45 PM
2

I HATE when these pop sci particles post figures without any kind of confidence intervals. The difference at the youngest age bracket probably isn’t significantly different (and even if it is the effect size is small). I’d be more interested to see the 95% CIs at the higher age brackets. All of this of course assumes the data is even appropriately demographically weighted so they can produce a reliable CI.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/05/26 02:11 PM
1

She went from less info and not liking you to more info and liking you, and that means she… isn’t actually into you?
/r/PurplePillDebate06/05/26 10:09 PM
–

It’s all confirmation bias and cope. Most married women are sexually attracted to their husbands.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/04/26 12:58 PM
37

You can bring the best vegan meal ever made to a barbecue and nobody will touch it. Doesn’t mean it’s not good food.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/04/26 12:56 PM
2

“I'm interested that you could self insert into ACOTAR as a man in your 30s. Might need to give it a shot just for that...” Feyre puts the weight of her family on her shoulders and I vibe with that. She’s adaptable and resilient which are qualities I strive for (even if I don’t always embody them). And without giving too much away, the strength of her love is nuanced and extraordinary, which is also something I find admirable.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/04/26 11:49 PM
1

Lonely people seeking connection.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/04/26 11:13 PM
2

I read the first Twilight book too, actually. Twilight is a product of its time, and I found Bella incredibly vapid. I think she was written to be very bland to make it easier to self insert; ironically I couldn’t empathize with her at all. Feyre is also a product of when ACoTaR was written. She has way more agency and she’s got a much stronger personality. I found myself self-inserting with Feyre really easily despite being a man in my late 30s. I felt more engaged and invested reading Feyre’s …
/r/PurplePillDebate29/04/26 11:12 PM
3

Sure. I’m 38m, married with kids, if that context matters to you at all. A coworker, 26f and single (so target demographic) is big into romantasy and I asked if it was actually any good or if it was just beach trash. She offered to lend me her copy and see for myself, so I did. Thought it was pretty good actually, worth the read. They’re not gonna study it in universities 200 years from now but it’s obvious why it’s sold so well. If you’re curious, I’d encourage you to give it a go.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/04/26 10:02 PM
6

Mostly direct conversations with my wife, my friends who are women, and coworkers. I watched KPop Demon Hunters with my kids. ACoTAR. Don’t judge me. About or by? Like with a woman protagonist? Or a biography? Left Hand of Darkness by Ursula K. LeGuin jumps to mind but I’m not sure that meets your criteria.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/04/26 06:24 PM
2

Not my opinion personally, but the biological essentialists will be coming through any minute to point out different reproductive strategies by sex. Female strategy, making babies is costly so select for quality. Male strategy, no biological cost so make as many babies as possible regardless of quality of the partner.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/04/26 03:24 PM
–

That happens far less than you think.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/04/26 09:17 AM
13

My wife has a reddit handle and posts as a man for this exact reason.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/04/26 06:09 PM
20

“The truth is opposite; it’s men who were created to serve the world.” Can’t imagine why someone would become contentious when told their born purpose is to be a servant. Really inexplicable.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/04/26 06:08 PM
6

I think the counter argument to that is that a set of preferences that eliminates half of the population and a set of preferences that eliminates 99% of the population should be looked at very differently in terms of how reasonable those preferences are. I don’t necessarily agree with that, but that is the counter argument.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/26 08:41 PM
1

“Well the effort they put into their appearances made them above average” Wait, so you’re trying to say that women actually care about effort? Absolutely crazy. Next you’re going to tell us that a woman’s complaints about the dishes aren’t actually about the dishes but about being ignored or taken for granted 😏
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/26 12:01 PM
1

“Am I wrong?” In a word, yes. It’s not nearly as easy for an average woman to have sex with an above average man as below average and average men seem to think.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/26 11:44 AM
6

That’s not even devil’s advocate. Within the context of the OP, it’s a direct refutation.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/26 05:02 PM
2

It’s interesting that the lesson you’re suggesting here is “women are terrible because some of them take advantage of thirsty morons” and not “thirsty morons should reflect and reassess their value system.”
/r/PurplePillDebate19/04/26 12:13 PM
2

By that argument, hypergamy ceases to exist in an economically egalitarian society. If it’s purely societal and not biological, and society changes, it ceases to be a real thing.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/04/26 02:14 AM
12

Correlation =/= causation. Women want men who are stable, intentional in their personal development, intelligent, and self sufficient. All of these things will result in a man who is monetarily successful. Note that women who have their own money will still tend to want a man who has these attributes.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/04/26 02:47 PM
–

“Women’s attraction involving men is a roundabout form of homosexuality.” I honestly CANNOT tell if this is satire or not.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/04/26 12:58 PM
2

If that’s the distinction that’s fine. But I’d argue OP is still wrong. Men are higher in Machiavellianism than women, but that’s a small subset of men that are really elevated in it. But women have MUCH higher emotional intelligence than men do and when it comes to social skills I don’t think there’s a strong argument against EI being the best predictor for social skill.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/04/26 01:59 PM
12

Being good at manipulating leverage and being willing to go to great lengths to obtain and exercise leverage is absolutely not the same thing as socializing.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/04/26 12:55 PM
3

People don’t interact with clavicular or old rich perverts because they’re fun to interact with, they do so to get access to clout and money, respectively. If anything those examples prove the opposite point; if you’re not good at socializing, you have to bring something else to the table to get people to interact with you.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/04/26 12:54 PM
1

If you told my soul prior to being born I could deal with rape risk at the current rate or risk of being falsely accused at the current rate, I’m picking the latter and it’s not a hard choice. If my unborn soul has to choose between being a single mom and paying child support, it’s door #2, again, easy.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/04/26 04:38 PM
1

This thread is about dating. I’m obviously talking about sexual assault.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/04/26 10:02 AM
21

Ok all true, but also less assault and less pregnancy risk if you’re a dude, which feels like a decent trade off.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/04/26 01:17 AM
2

The fact that it doesn’t get you the result you want doesn’t make it a non-reason.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/04/26 03:18 PM
2

You are painfully naive. The vast, VAST majority of people will never experience an event like this in their lives. Like this isn’t “uncommon,” it’s not even “rare,” this would best be described as “a bizarre anomaly.” But it feels common enough to you to merit starting a discussion about it. You’re being propagandized and you don’t even realize it.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/04/26 01:35 PM
6

“Another is how many women are disgusted by later-in-life virgins.” Go over to any of the women centric subs here and the sentiment is pretty much exactly opposite of this. Later in life virgins may be bitter and insecure because of their virginity (not unreasonable!) but any negativity is directed at these traits, not the virginity itself.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/04/26 09:55 AM
17

I think this could be summarized by pointing out that desire is probably best quantified by what you’re willing to do to satisfy your desire. A man says he wants a woman for casual sex. But if he’s not willing to make that good for her, does he really desire it that much? I’m hungry right now. I desire a steak. But to get a steak I’d have to go to the store, spend good money, come home and make it, etc. Instead I’ll probably just eat a piece of fruit and some nuts. I desire those too. They’re no…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/04/26 01:13 PM
1

The entire red pill ideology is based on the idea that cognitive dissonance is incredibly potent and that people are really good at lying to themselves. Is it such a stretch to suggest that red pill men may also be subject to the defining premise of their own ideology?
/r/PurplePillDebate01/04/26 05:59 PM
–

Oppression is a multifaceted construct, it’s not a singular thing.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/04/26 02:03 PM
1

Her contribution is 36k a year, 24% of her salary. That’s a pretty reasonable expectation for housing these days. And it’s not like you guys are life partners. It’s a serious relationship for sure but it’s not at the point where either of you ought to be expected to subsidize the other.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/03/26 01:54 PM
1

Girlfriend of how long? A year? Ten years? A week?
/r/PurplePillDebate27/03/26 09:33 AM
–

I don't think the Overton window has shifted on masculinity. I think the Overton window has shifted on the degree to which it's accepted for men to not be masculine.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/03/26 10:54 AM
1

It’s only catastrophizing if it’s wrong.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/03/26 03:12 PM
10

See my response to weasel below. She was severely depressed prior to that whole experience.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/03/26 01:36 AM
6

I may in fact be more aware of her story than you are. Here’s a hint: did she develop severe treatment resistant depression before or after her social experiment? Bonus question: did she attribute her psychosis afterwards to the experience of living as a man, or to the experience of living a lie 24/7 for 18 months?
/r/PurplePillDebate24/03/26 01:31 AM
7

This has to be irony. Please tell me this is irony.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/03/26 11:50 PM
10

My wife and I make a point of replacing “happy wife happy life” with “happy spouses happy houses.”
/r/PurplePillDebate22/03/26 11:53 AM
–

"The bar is low as hell." The bar is low as hell because gen z and alpha are uniquely ill-equipped to do many of the most basic things required to attract a woman and maintain that attraction through a serious long term relationship. They're cooked. It'd be like raising the entry time for the Boston Marathon from 2:50 to 3:50 because most runners in American suddenly all developed anemia. Yeah, the standard is easier to hit, but the people trying to hit it are still not going to be able to do so…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/03/26 01:22 AM
2

I would push back on your last point. The idea that women are built for men’s indiscriminate pleasure is pretty taboo in all but the most backwards contexts. But I do think a lot of this comes down to how men and women are processing differently when they don’t get what they want. Women are generally internalizing their disappointment and redirecting their energy into work hobbies and platonic friendships. Men are generally externalizing their disappointment and instead of redirecting their ener…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/03/26 02:21 PM
0

“The culture no longer values them, because women as the sexual selectors no longer value them” Women value competency, kindness, pro-social behavior, and feeling valued. Women value these same traits as they always have. The difference is that now, men who don’t actually display these traits can no longer skate by on women needing a man to get by in the world. Many men used to publicly profess these traits but not actually practice them, but they will got wives and had families. That time is ov…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/03/26 02:17 PM
11

Define “fair.”
/r/PurplePillDebate19/03/26 02:40 PM
6

“find someone you like and try to make it work” What, pray tell, do you think these men were doing before they went to hookers?
/r/PurplePillDebate18/03/26 11:19 PM
–

25% success rate is pretty typical for an average guy off apps.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/03/26 12:48 PM
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You misread. Bad dude has more attempts but lower success rate. Good dude has fewer attempts but higher success rate. Good dude is winding up with fewer women through his own inaction.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/03/26 10:59 AM
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Bad dude has 5% success rate with women, chats up 100 women a year. Good but asocial dude has 25% success rate with women, chats up 1-2 women per year. Who is more desirable to women? Who gets more women? I swear to all that’s good is there some kind of correlation between being a “nice guy” and being bad at applied mathematics?
/r/PurplePillDebate18/03/26 10:46 AM
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Feeling you have to lie about being a virgin is a way bigger deal to most women than actually being a virgin. Being a virgin at older age is suspicious only as a correlate, not as an issue in and of itself.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/03/26 10:51 PM
0

Highly relevant.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/03/26 04:03 PM
–

That is not normal male heterosexuality. Normal men do not need sex as a motivation for everything they do.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/03/26 02:56 PM
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This kind of comment gets screen capped and posted in the “they’re not lonely enough” boards. Can you genuinely not imagine a good reason to improve the world that would feel as good as being “rewarded” with sex? That honestly sounds so sad.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/03/26 02:55 PM
–

How is romantic loneliness different than regular loneliness?
/r/PurplePillDebate14/03/26 02:52 PM
1

My wife offered to open our relationship for only me, due to a medical condition that prevents us from having intercourse or from her performing oral sex on me. I did not take her up on the offer. I don't know the answers to half your questions because I've never tried to pursue any women so I don't know what my options are. My wife says women hit on me a lot and I don't notice.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/03/26 04:05 PM
9

That's predicated on the idea that women are generally lacking in personality and character development, which is the sort of conclusion you can only really reach by being chronically online and never interacting with women in real life.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/03/26 03:41 PM
5

Having options isn't the same as having success.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/03/26 03:39 PM
4

My seven and five year olds are screen-free in our house except one movie per week on Saturday mornings. I made pot roast recently and my son told me my cooking was “based.” I think it’s just lingo seeping into the mainstream.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/03/26 06:28 PM
13

A man who can only get it up to pixels indices pity and disgust in single women. A woman who desires the best partner she can get induced hysteria and moral panic in single men. This isn’t the “gotcha” you think it is.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/03/26 08:57 PM
16

I really wish you nerds would figure out whether female hypergamy is wired in naturally, or programmed. There’s no consistent messaging. Also, what’s wrong with hypergamy? Everyone should want the best outcome they can get.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/03/26 07:53 PM
2

What’s evidence that the attractiveness of men follows a bell curve? Plenty of variables in nature aren’t normally distributed. It’s perfectly reasonable to suggest the average man is below a 5. A scale of attractiveness that goes 1-10 is deceptive because you’re using numbers as names for a variable but the variable is categorical, not continuous.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/03/26 10:29 AM
2

Oh I got you. Then yes, there are some specifics that will almost universally be good for a man trying to meet a woman for romantic connection. And, importantly, they’re all things that are 100% worth doing even if they don’t result in a romantic connection.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/03/26 08:36 PM
8

Yeah, that’s what nüredpill doesn’t work as well as old redpill, because you can’t gamify this stuff. There are so specifics. You can’t check boxes off a list and automatically succeed. If that’s the framework a man is working under, he’s gonna lose. Women aren’t a level you unlock in a video game by finishing quests. There’s 4.5 billion of them. They’re diverse. And while some trends may hold true, there’s way too much variety to trust anything as a rule.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/03/26 06:27 PM
19

The modern red pill is basically the old black pill, “if you don’t check 8 of these 10 hyper specific and mostly genetically determined boxes, you’re doomed.” The old red pill was, “you’re not as successful with women as you’d like because you don’t understand what women want, because women either lie to themselves or to you about what they want. You’d have more success ENGAGING WITH WOMEN IN REAL LIFE and learning for yourself how people act.” The whole basis for this sub was to get red and blu…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/03/26 04:41 PM
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I’m being tongue in cheek; there’s an interesting duality there. She’s right that developing internal esteem has value, but the others responding are correct that self esteem and two nickels gets you a dime.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/03/26 11:33 AM
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Internal measures are more susceptible to bias and cognitive dissonance. Humans are really REALLY good at lying to themselves. Internal self esteem can’t be trusted. External validation is out of your control so you can trust that you’re not deceiving yourself.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/03/26 11:24 AM
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Unless the things that make that bubble bizarre aren’t generalizable to the general population.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/03/26 11:20 AM
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Anticipated response, “what good does that do?”
/r/PurplePillDebate02/03/26 10:27 AM
0

I have to ask; is he into the manosphere/red pill stuff?
/r/PurplePillDebate02/03/26 12:57 AM
2

If men are tolerating drug addicts with mental health issues just because they’re hot, then we really do deserve the current meta.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/03/26 12:57 AM
2

Lol. Lmao.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/03/26 04:33 PM
2

Unlike you, who, as a man, are immune to propaganda.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/03/26 04:22 PM
2

Can’t imagine why women would feel broadly unsafe around men. To be clear; not only do I not think you’re very smart, I think you’re completely oblivious to the degree to which you’re providing the evidence that I’m supposedly lacking.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/03/26 03:51 PM
2

Your response adds credibility to my claim. Thank you for your contribution. Upvoted.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/03/26 03:40 PM
1

Women love sex just as much as men. You’re just collectively not smart enough to foster the conditions to let them.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/02/26 05:23 PM
2

Your reply from above, directly copied: “‘simultaneously want to not be taken advantage of.’ How? Money? Then don’t pay for first dates.” Then your reply here says: “Then men, PAY AND STFU”
/r/PurplePillDebate28/02/26 05:16 PM
2

That directly contradicts your original reply to me above.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/02/26 05:09 PM
0

The retort from many women is then “doesn’t he value my company enough to pay for me?” I agree with you, there are very reasonable strategies in all of this. But this is the result of the current gender war meta. Everything feels like “a move in the game,” not actual authentic action. It’s a shame but I don’t know how society fixes this. Glad I’m not single, but very scared for both my son and my daughter.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/02/26 02:47 PM
2

I’m not sure I agree with your characterization in Example #2. Someone can be looking for something that isn’t necessarily quick and easy access to sex, and simultaneously want to not be taken advantage of. If I’m a single man and I’m willing to wait to build a connection, I’d be disappointed to discover after the fact that I was being used for free dinners and not regarded as a source of emotional connection.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/02/26 02:42 PM
11

The simple answer is that the narrative that any man who can pump and dump does so is not an accurate narrative. I think there are plenty of attractive men who don’t do that.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/02/26 01:21 PM
4

This is a great post and a great example of why “touch grass” is undefeated advice. When people go out and pay attention, the learning curve is SO fast. These things aren’t mysterious. Women aren’t nearly as clandestine and the chronically online want folk to believe.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/02/26 03:15 PM
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I think a lot of the “young women like older men” stuff is cope. Women may generally like a man a little bit older, but that means a 23 year old may prefer a 27 year old over a man her age. And there are many reasons a man may still be a viable option for a younger woman, but men cope and confuse “viable” with “preferred.”
/r/PurplePillDebate27/02/26 11:23 AM
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I don’t know you or what you look like, but on the chance that your self-assessment is correct, that would still make you an extreme outlier.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/02/26 11:20 AM
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I don’t think anybody, man or woman, generally gets hotter as they age. Googled Gillian Anderson to see if she was some kind of exception. She’s absolutely not.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/02/26 11:17 AM
2

The advice of “touch grass” remains undefeated. These guys are chronically online.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/02/26 01:25 AM
3

I think you’re blinded by feeling like you’re not attractive to women and therefore overweighting the importance of the first over the latter two.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/02/26 08:47 PM
2

Now you’re just nit picking. Fine. The sentiment of because, not the word. You’re inferring causality; “women don’t feel safe, therefore they don’t like sex with men.” When the obvious message is actually “women love sex with men but don’t do what they love because what they love isn’t safe.” Your gripe is that “if they really loved sex as much as men love sex they’d do it even if it isn’t safe,” which is directly contradicted by what men actually historically have done which is not have sex if …
/r/PurplePillDebate26/02/26 06:31 PM
0

That’s not the assertion at all. You’re inserting the word “because” into the argument (whether to Strawman or due to poor reading comprehension, not sure which).
/r/PurplePillDebate26/02/26 06:23 PM
4

I think if men genuinely had as much to fear and as much to lose as women do, we wouldn't act nearly as outwardly horny and would be much more guarded about our desires. Neither of us has any evidence to support our positions because we're both inherently arguing counterfactuals. But look at gay men in the 1950s vs. now. Tell me that the perception of safety doesn't affect expression of sexual desire. Tell me that men don't repress of hide their sexual desires when it's not safe. The reality is …
/r/PurplePillDebate26/02/26 05:13 PM
0

I don’t think any such analysis can be interpreted outside my point about women feeling safe, because in aggregate, societies across time and space have pretty much never made women feel safe.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/02/26 12:04 PM
5

I’m honestly not even convinced women want sex less than men. It just feels way less safe for women to try to get what they want. When women feel safe, they’re ridiculously horny. https://np.reddit.com/r/TwoXChromosomes/s/L3VbukIBdO
/r/PurplePillDebate26/02/26 11:40 AM
6

I realize this is supposed to be a “gotcha” but I actually view this as proof positive that women grossly underestimate how bad the male experience is. Most men would take this in a heartbeat because it’s such a massive and obvious upgrade over their current situation.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/02/26 04:21 PM
5

Good comment. It’s basic reciprocity. I compliment women in my life with whom I have platonic relationships all the time. It feels good to make them smile. Not even just my friends, I’ll compliment strangers without thinking twice. It’s so easy, and I’m never looked at as creepy because I always make sure to compliment intentional choices rather than immutable traits, and I use non-generic adjectives. “Those earrings are so unique!” “That outfit is really thoughtfully put together!” “Those boots…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/26 07:42 PM
5

I have a relatively limited social network because I work so much, but every time I exist in a new social sphere I'm constantly amazed at how poorly other men (and especially younger men, it seems) are to simply exists in a platonic social setting. Like they're just not good at it. I'm worried for my kids of their future. We're a mostly screen free house, I leave my kids out in our neighborhood unattended to play with other kids a lot, and I make an active effort to get my kids into social space…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/26 07:19 PM
3

The irony is that many of them would have a lot more success if they were just honest about what they wanted. I think a lot of women are extremely turned off by dishonesty, and I think these men are also completely transparent.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/26 03:21 PM
12

I couldn’t figure out at first why I liked this post so much, but I sat with it a while and realized that what you said about “figuring out who you are” is the key. So much of me centering women comes down to not actually centering women as I understand the term but to not really having a strong identity and then resorting to external validation to dictate who they should be. Even the manosphere yabbos are actually very woman centered; they objectify women, but they’re still centering their iden…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/02/26 11:53 AM
2

Most recent data goes to 2021. It’s stable over time. The high n-counts (top 20% for men and women) have crept up a little and the very high have crept up even higher. But for 80% of men and women in the modern world, n-count is lifetime mid single digits.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/02/26 04:13 PM
4

Statistically, not true. The outliers can certainly rack up numbers, but the same can be said of men. Most decent quality data suggests that lifetime n-count is very comparable for 80% of women and 80% of men.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/02/26 02:59 PM
6

"This sub talks a lot of about women who aren’t able to pair bond and are promiscuous" Yeah, they sure do talk. Too bad nobody here actually knows anything about what pair bonding is and what it isn't, and nobody can provide any evidence that promiscuity directly affects pair bonding anyway.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/02/26 09:10 PM
17

This is proposed as a question for men, but I actually think women's responses would be more telling for this topic. I don't think most men even give a second thought to women performing risk reduction because most men would never harm a woman, so the though that they're being perceived as a threat doesn't really register.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/02/26 04:37 PM
4

"I swear some dudes on this sub can not even picture mutual desired sex." I've been giving this some thought. I think their self esteem is so low that they can't imagine someone else experiencing genuine mutual desire for them, so they can't really envision empathic connection to another. They can't envision themselves as capable of being seen and wanted as a person, so they cannot see another. Just a pet theory, and certainly not an excuse. But I think there's value in understanding.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/02/26 02:41 PM
2

These questions are silly because it supposes a mutually opposed binary for things that are not mutually exclusive and are largely independent of each other. Someone can be 7/10 reliable and 3/10 attraction, someone else can be 7 and 7, another can be 0 and 10, another can be 5 and 9, another can be 1 and 1, and a vast distribution (not to mention all the dozens if not scores if not hundreds if not thousands of other factors) appears. Posts like this try to formulize and distill relationships, g…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/02/26 05:03 PM
1

"Most emotions have to have someone else involved?" Many emotions, very strong ones, do not require anyone else to be involved. I used to be a highly competitive athlete in a highly individual sport. I took a few years away from serious training to focus on my career and my family, and have just recently had the time and bandwidth to return to training. I had a moment in training in the past year where I hit a certain benchmark, and felt a tremendous rush and thrill, an "I'm BACK" moment. It was…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/02/26 04:23 PM
4

"Imagine anyone said “that person is just a vessel to get food. Just a vessel to get money."" Many men don't have to imagine what that feels like.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/02/26 04:20 PM
6

Man this is a GREAT post. I have never considered the gender flip, framing sex and n-count as no big deal but also fretting over being used.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/02/26 04:16 PM
1

My point is that most species that pair bond aren’t sexually monogamous, and being promiscuous doesn’t inhibit pair bonding behavior in most species.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/02/26 10:42 PM
2

I guess that's touching on pretty much exactly what I'm talking about. In other mammals, yes. Lions are famous for this (Disney, anyone?) but the Neolithic revolution happened after most of our cognitive wiring took place from an evolutionary standpoint. Consider those behavioral aspects which are highly conserved in other primates more specifically. They are often hyper-cooperative and troop-raise offspring. There are physiological features which may increase mating chances for individual males…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/02/26 03:40 PM
3

I’d be curious to hear your thoughts on the historical roots of male investment, and in ensured paternity. My understanding is that these aren’t really evolutionarily relevant and that ensured paternity in particular didn’t really become a big deal until the invention of agriculture, alright 10,000 BC (a relative blip on the evolutionary timeline).
/r/PurplePillDebate05/02/26 03:21 PM
4

Define “pair bond,” the way it’s actually used in behavioral neuroscience. And tell me about some other species that pair bond and what pair bonding looks like in those species.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/02/26 03:18 PM
1

You can get in good shape for running by swimming, but you’ll be in better running shape if you run. The fact that swimmers are capable of running doesn’t mean there isn’t a better way to go about it.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/02/26 01:51 PM
8

His exact words were “considered rude and hateful” not “is rude and hateful.” Not everything is as it’s considered.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/02/26 10:50 AM
3

I think he’s suggesting the opposite; knowing what women filter for is exactly why some find it VERY useful. Understanding what is and is not actually filtered for is the “uncomfortable truth” that sprouted the whole “red pill” name.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/02/26 10:45 AM
17

Do you have evidence of this or just intuition? I have a few friends in the lifestyle and I don’t think this would be an issue for any of them, and their relationship dynamics are absolutely not based around intra-relationship power dynamics.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/02/26 11:25 AM
3

“Largely speaking, low status men are unpartnered not because of moral failings, but because of genetic and socioeconomic factors which the individual has marginal power over. The "bare minimum" has consistently increased, and correspondingly fewer men are able to reach it.” A lack of moral poverty shouldn’t be the bare minimum for partnering, it’s the bare minimum for participation in society. “It is best for the peace and good order of society that we show empathy to these men. We don't want t…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/02/26 01:59 AM
1

A friend of mine is a couples therapist and she told me that while men absolutely weaponize incompetence, women often weaponize neuroticism. And it’s gotten worse since the “the divorce came out of nowhere” and “mental load” social media content started proliferating. There are extreme examples of course, but a lot of “mental load” is just women conditioning other women to feel the need to be perfect.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/01/26 12:46 PM
41

I’m not letting that wife of mine into my fucking kitchen. Don’t put ideas into her head, I’ve got a good thing going here.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/01/26 12:32 AM
1

My understanding is that you don't trust self-reported n-count. My counter to that is that you have no logical reason, only intuition, to do so. So your only counter-argument to established data is your intuition. I'm making a comparison to reporting n-count, and reporting something like use of illicit substances. You're suggesting that n-count is generally misreported, systematically, and I'm inferring that you think women are under-reporting and men are over-reporting. The most logical reason …
/r/PurplePillDebate29/01/26 05:29 PM
1

"Self-reporting and quality data don't go hand in hand" Is that your intuition? Or do you have evidence that specifically contradicts self reporting on a wide scale? I work in public health in substance use and abuse, and a lot of our data uses biomarkers to verify self-reporting on taboo behaviors. The level of agreement is shockingly high for people who don't work in my field, who don't believe people would report honestly. Do you have a specific reason to believe the data is bad? Because othe…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/01/26 04:59 PM
1

Then I guess we have very different experiences, and that just is what it is. I've been rejected by women, but never cruelly. My buddies have never shared with me getting rejected cruelly. The women I know have all experienced cruel rejection from a man. When you talk to your women friends, what do they tell you about their experiences being rejected?
/r/PurplePillDebate29/01/26 04:09 PM
1

Go dig up quality data on n-counts. Median men have higher n-count than median women, current lifetime average for US adults is under 5. But heuristics are a hell of a drug, so it's easy to develop a warped sense of how much sex people are actually having.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/01/26 04:05 PM
0

"vulnerability is LITERALLY weakness" What and absolutely shit take. They are completely different. You can be vulnerable and strong; it's called being resilient. You can be weak while being shielded from vulnerability; fragile yet unexposed. I grew up in a stable household, and none of my friends' parents were divorced. I'm at an age now where peers are getting divorces left and right. I mentioned to my wife recently that I'm struggling with seeing all these marriages fail, it's making me sad, …
/r/PurplePillDebate29/01/26 04:02 PM
2

I saw a meme where somebody points out that in Shrek, Fiona chose Shrek over Lord Farquad, and how she chose a literal ogre over a short dude. And the other half of the meme is a woman pointing out how men become incels by convincing themselves that the reason Farquad is abhorrent to Fiona is because he's short and not because he's an egotistical villain who hates most other people. Your posts come through as being the kind of guy who thinks Farquad's problem is that he's short.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/01/26 03:51 PM
0

I understand what you're implying by asking that rhetorical question, but she's 100% correct. While women are sometimes cruel in their rejections of men, men are overwhelmingly cruel when they reject women. Men also seem much more inclined to go out of their way to vocalize their judgements of women's' appearance. We all judge. That's fine. But you don't have to go out of your way to make someone feel like crap just because you don't find them attractive.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/01/26 03:46 PM
7

"Do you want to be treated like that? Like her casual hookups she never calls back or respects or intends to see again or talk to ever again? Or are you wanting to be treated like how she treats her romantic partners, getting to know each other before sex, establish some emotional connection and having mutual respect?" Not defending his perspective, but these rhetorical questions stand out to me. The answers are obvious, and sad. He doesn't care if he isn't called back or respected as a person o…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/01/26 07:06 PM
10

This was kind of my reaction reading OP's post. We all have the world we "deserve," well, the world is becoming a lot more woman-friendly. And it's certainly not all the way there yet, but it's closer all the time. Some men are actually benefitting from that quite a bit. Others aren't. The ones who will benefit from the change in the wind. The ones that are suffering under that change also deserve it. According to your logic, anyway.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/01/26 05:35 PM
7

I think the whole purple pill concept evolved around the fact that most older redpill stuff was pretty compatible with blue pill from a practical standpoint; they were differentiated more by philosophy than practice. New red pill is more like old black pill, and new black pill is just flat out schizo nonsense.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/01/26 01:49 PM
24

The type of women who would be into a guy like that are not on Tinder. There are absolutely women out there for this guy, but not on the apps.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/01/26 02:47 PM
2

“A bit tangential, but it can be really frustrating to hear men treat self-development like a huge sacrifice. Not bc it's not difficult, bc it benefits the self first. It's the path to a happy, stable, peaceful life. The idea that a good life isn't worth the effort is completely illogical.” I think most men (and many women) are skeptical of the supposed benefits of therapy. You’re taking it as a given that therapy is a path to a happy stable and peaceful life.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/01/26 01:37 PM
5

I don’t have highly specific answers to any of that, and I doubt any of my male friends would.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/01/26 12:39 PM
5

PSA: ladies, if you think you’ve had 8” or more, you’re probably wrong. Here is a chart ranking how common different sizes are, with confirmed measurements from popular adult film stars as comparison points. https://np.reddit.com/r/moreplatesmoredates/s/OQn0isrvEH Here is a percentile calculator based on population level data using consistent measuring. https://calcsd.info
/r/PurplePillDebate26/01/26 11:53 AM
18

“But if you could only pick one favorite size” Man, women are coming out of the woodwork here to explain to you that it’s so low on their priority list that they can’t even answer the question with any meaningful specificity. THAT is your answer.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/01/26 11:43 AM
0

“Why do you think being penetrated is submissive?” Definitely. A man being pegged, for example, is engaging in a submissive behavior. My friends who are men who have sex with men, almost exclusively the man receiving will identify as being in a submissive position. “Isn’t the man permitting the woman to have sex with him too? Consent of both people is required for any sexual act.” Yes. But there’s nothing submissive about consent. To me, the submissive aspect is allowing someone to put something…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/01/26 06:25 PM
0

No. Sex is something I do WITH a woman, not TO a woman. Yes. Being penetrated is submissive. To allow some one to put something inside you is a permissive action. My friends who are men who have sex with men tell me that dynamic isn’t specific to hetero dynamics. No. My wife initiates about 50% of the time. I doubt she’d do that if she didn’t enjoy it. N/A. I don’t share that perspective. I may have thought this way before I started actually having sex.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/01/26 06:01 PM
5

This is a bad argument because every reliable and well conducted study has shown that median n-count men have a slightly higher n-count than median women across their lifetime. Top 20% men have a slightly large gap over top 20% women. And top 5% n-count men have much higher n-count than top 5% women.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/01/26 12:27 PM
0

“I am talking about the "good guy" stereotype - genuinely positive personality and character but average looks or social-economic status” Every man I know like this is in a committed long term relationship with a woman who adores and dotes on him.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/01/26 03:47 PM
4

“Men really are embodied in a way I don't think women are...and they take requests to change that stuff as a dagger to the heart. They feel so rejected for it” It’s very contextual. I’m an athlete and my wife likes my body completely hairless (like fully hairless, shaved chest, legs, armpits) so she can see my muscle definition better. I’m naturally hairy. I don’t feel bad that she likes me groomed a certain way, I revel in having control over being something that excites her. Maybe I’d feel dif…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/01/26 02:03 PM
–

That presupposes that all men would care about a woman’s history to the same degree, which is a bad premise.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/01/26 10:30 AM
–

If you wish you could, but can’t, that’s the same as having actually done it, just with lower competence. In that sense, you have all of the negatives but none of the positives (e.g., experience, perspective, etc.).
/r/PurplePillDebate23/01/26 10:28 AM
13

I was just reading a thread on one of the ask women subs about redditors with huge members and Stunning-Spirit5275 was the name that kept coming up over and over.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/01/26 06:49 PM
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If she really wants to, and I like her at least as much as the first woman. Obviously.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/01/26 03:42 PM
14

Clearly she doesn't think that what you're describing is all that special. Why would you ask a question and then contradict the answer?
/r/PurplePillDebate21/01/26 11:51 AM
1

Women expect more from a husband. They also give more to a husband. I think you're the guy who salivates over that screen shot of women saying how good the sex is with their hookups. But go ask men who hook up with women how good the sex is. There are a few threads over in /askmenadvice about this. Want to know the truth? Most women aren't very good or enthusiastic when they hook up with "Chad."
/r/PurplePillDebate21/01/26 11:45 AM
1

I'm not sure I understand the question. The more naive version of myself wasn't a better version of myself, but it sounds like you're implying that it would be? And who is "deserving" the more naive version of myself? Because if naiveté is antithetical to the lessons that made me a good partner, then wouldn't I want to be the least naive possible for the person I care most about? I'm sorry, I'm not being sarcastic or obtuse, I'm just not really sure I understand some of the premises your questio…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/01/26 11:40 AM
12

I've given everything I knew how to give at the time. What that looked like was very different in high school, then in college, then out in the world. But always everything I was able to give at the time.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/01/26 03:54 AM
21

I mean your answer is in your post, isn't it? We're humans. We're more than animal. The solution IS to work on yourself. You're not an animal to curl up into a ball and sulk because you didn't win the mating game. You have the power to decide your own meaning in life, and despite what the blackpill or whatever cope you're on may suggest, you CAN choose what that means, and you can choose differently than whatever is making you miserable.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/01/26 02:59 AM
3

Yes. But the argument is comparative; husband material men may be rare these days, but hookup quality men are even rarer.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/01/26 08:47 PM
3

"Guys who are husband material are picked because they’re rare and special" I think this is where most of the man/woman differences in perspective come from. Statistically, would you agree that way more men get married at some point in their lifetime than experience casual sex in their lifetime? If you are talking purely in numerical terms, a man who hooks up is objectively more rare and therefore "special" than a man who gets to be a husband. "hookup material guys are picked because they’re for…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/01/26 08:46 PM
1

But we’re not arguing “can” you speak French. We’re discussing “could” you speak French. The “hookup material bubble” isn’t men who DO hookup it’s men who COULD hookup, whether or not they know it.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/01/26 06:50 PM
1

Someone can have the capacity to do something and not know how (and not realize that they have the ability but not the skill). Surely you agree with that?
/r/PurplePillDebate19/01/26 06:43 PM
3

I think your solution is to touch grass. That will fix you.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/01/26 06:42 PM
1

You’re presupposing that all the men desirable enough to get access to casual sex know how to do so, which is a demonstrably bad assumption.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/01/26 06:37 PM
6

Yes but all those things you listed are fake. They don’t happen to real people. “Puppy love,””oneitis,” etc., those aren’t emotional connections, by definition. I think we’ve found your error.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/01/26 06:32 PM
9

So how would you establish an emotional connection (something that by definition takes time) with someone in a casual situation (which by definition takes place in too small of a time frame to develop emotional connection).
/r/PurplePillDebate19/01/26 06:14 PM
20

OP, I think you’re delineating sex and masturbation as the difference between orgasm with and without connection, but what you’re actually describing is the difference between orgasm with and without a woman’s validation of your desirability. Hope that helps.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/01/26 05:53 PM
1

Let me save us from having a whole thread about this. There are two bubbles: the “husband material bubble” and the “hookup material bubble.” Many/most men think these are distinct, and operate as a Venn diagram with some level of overlap (more or less overlap depending on the various pill philosophies). Basically AF/BB with varying degrees of rigidity. Many/most women view the “husband material” bubble as a smaller bubble WITHIN the “hookup material” bubble. That is, most women would want to hav…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/01/26 05:40 PM
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Both, or I wouldn’t be interested in lifetime partnering. Fortunately I met my wife when we were in our early 20s, so I got what I wanted.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/01/26 04:21 PM
7

“even though he literally compared them to luggage” But he didn’t literally compare them to luggage. He metaphorically compared them to luggage. He literally used a metaphor. What he said was the opposite of being literal.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/26 11:42 PM
2

I don’t think the drive should be to make people marriage minded at a young age. The drive should be to eliminate the prolonged adolescence and the normalization of being less capable later and later into life. Whether that makes people more marriage minded at a young age? Eh. Maybe. I don’t really care if it does or doesn’t. But I think there’s culturally derived and reinforced Peter Pan Syndrome that isn’t currently serving people either individually or as a collective.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/26 05:47 PM
4

That’s a bad example because if a gay man wanted to force himself on you, there’s a decent chance you could fight back. If a man wants to harm a woman, even a relatively weak man is stronger than a relatively strong woman. It’s not about the harm itself, it’s about experiencing the fear of harm that women live with on a daily basis, and is implicit in the unwanted sexual interest. You don’t value that experience of fear because you don’t empathize with women. You’re projecting your own experienc…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/26 03:17 PM
8

Except that is EXACTLY one of the most effective ways people have helped others overcome their racist programming. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Daryl_Davis
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/26 02:30 PM
0

…yes? Obviously. Marriages were more stable because women had no alternatives.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/26 01:51 PM
3

“But we live in an era of prolonged adolescence where everyone is more immature and frankly less capable on average, for longer.” That’s kind of the problem, isn’t it? There’s absolutely no reason for this delay. It’s entirely artificial. We should be raising our expectations, not lowering them.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/26 01:03 PM
2

OP, can you be more specific about saying how “it’s never enough?” I think the desire for sympathy/empathy is actually pretty easy to fulfill.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/26 12:55 PM
7

When my wife and I met, I thought I was “husband material” but not “hookup material.” She told me on our first date that she really liked me and didn’t want to hook up right away, then by the end of the date walked that back and asked to hook up. After our second time together she said she wanted to be in a relationship with me, but if I only wanted to be fwb she’d be willing to settle for that. Sixteen years later we’re married with two kids a house and a dog. Never had a doubt, never given it …
/r/PurplePillDebate17/01/26 10:15 PM
3

Your mistake is assuming there’s only one bar.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/01/26 01:29 AM
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That’s NuRedPill. Red pill classic didn’t judge women, it simply encouraged men to observe the distinction between what women say they respond to and what they actually respond to (accepting that there IS a difference). But the caveat there is that you have to actually interact with women for that to occur, that is, you have to touch grass. There haven’t been any real red pill men since Covid.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/01/26 12:37 AM
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Goddamn, can mods please pin this comment?
/r/PurplePillDebate15/01/26 09:20 PM
1

"Then all the talk about men lasting / not lasting long during piv and the implication about that being relevant to female orgasm" Similar thing with men being infatuated with the concept of penis size. But, as a counterpoint, this is a great example where a small number of very loud voices can carry a big impact. The women who love when a guy is well hung and the women who love when a guy lasts a long time are VERY loud about it, and in women-focused spaces that men can still see (e.g., twoX, a…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/01/26 07:45 PM
1

To be fair, that's a two-way street, I don't think either gender has the high ground there.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/01/26 07:35 PM
6

Men certainly can, but I think the degree to which one can be selective varies by how many options one has. And, I think it's a fair premise to say most women have a greater quantity of men as available options even if the mean quality of those men is lower (or, the number of those options influences the perception of their quality, or the standards to which they are held). Certainly, that's my perception as a non-single man, from the outside looking in. I could be totally off base. I was happil…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/01/26 06:58 PM
3

I think that's an oversimplification. The bar is in hell FOR THE THINGS THE MEN CAN CONTROL. The bar for things that are harder to control or out of men's control is very high. And when men and women are talking about "the bar" they're usually have two different conversations.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/01/26 06:24 PM
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You're confusing the terms "mechanism" and "reason."
/r/PurplePillDebate15/01/26 06:00 PM
5

[CITATION NEEDED] You (and I) have absolutely no idea what the distribution for these things looks like. You could be competing with 10 guys, 100 guys, 50 guys, or 1 guy but the 1 is super interesting and cool and connects with her intuitively. You just don't know.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/01/26 08:17 PM
112

Although their advice about bars, specifically, is dated, their general recommendation that in person connections will work better than apps is spot on. Don't take their advice at face value, but ask yourself if what you're doing now is working, and if not ask yourself whether there's a grain of wisdom in their advice.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/01/26 06:35 PM
8

OP, can you link some examples? Context matters a lot here.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/01/26 12:42 AM
1

Simping is transactional in intent. Spoiling is romantic in intent. It’s that simple.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/01/26 07:09 PM
4

The problem with this kind of response is that you're looking at a regression model with hundreds of significant covariates and when one covariate isn't perfectly predictive, you're ignoring the hundreds of other variables. Cooking is good. The fact that it's not a golden ticket for you personally doesn't invalidate that.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/01/26 11:19 AM
2

This is, unironically, propaganda. I have a wide network of friends, both men and women, and NONE of the women think or act like this. I described the concept of “heterofatalism” and the women universally either laughed or were horrified to read about this. Perfect example of “touch grass.”
/r/PurplePillDebate12/01/26 08:36 PM
1

If the men put themselves out there they’d learn what works and what doesn’t, how women really respond vs. internet propaganda. Then they wouldn’t be so desperate.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/01/26 08:32 PM
5

“I guess I must be attractive, because I am definitely not rich.” My experience as an outsider looking in (I’m married, late 30s) is that at most ages there’s a baseline level of stability, not necessarily wealth, that attracts women. Most women aren’t looking for a provider, they’re looking for a partner. If you hit some relatively modest bare minimums of attractiveness and stability, it really does come down to how you treat them and how you communicate with them.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/01/26 08:09 PM
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Maybe I misread it; I thought it was pretty clear from the context that the woman OP was describing is not conventionally attractive, if not actively unattractive. People of differing levels of conventional attractiveness are certainly capable of pairing up, but I think an unconventionally attractive woman with a more conventionally attractive man is among the less common of these pairings. Of course, I could be wrong about that. But I think that's a sort of gritty detail that misses the general…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/01/26 06:15 PM
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I agree, but you're kind of proving OP's point. Women refusing to tell each other that they're aiming way out of their league are the equivalent of red pill and manosphere dorks whining about how they can't find anyone.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/01/26 05:46 PM
1

Okay, very fair. I’m 38, so you’re spot on.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/01/26 06:13 PM
1

My wife and I are similar levels of conventional attractiveness and I get hit on by women far more often than she gets hit on by sapphic women. It's not really a fair comparison though, because the number of women who are sexually interested in men is MUCH greater than the number of women sexually interested in women.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/01/26 02:54 PM
4

"Online is what real life would be if people could freely speak their minds, can’t convince me otherwise." Online, there are no consequences for telling the truth. There are also no consequences for making up whole cloth lies. It seems awfully convenient that you assume content that validates your preconceptions all falls into the former rather than the latter statement.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/01/26 02:47 PM
1

"it’s easier than admitting a simple fact: attraction is hierarchical" Lol. Lmao. You don't understand women even a fraction as well as you think you do.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/01/26 02:44 PM
1

Interesting. I'm in a very healthy stable marriage, so maybe my perspective is unusual. I wouldn't say my wife "built" me, in the sense that she hasn't actively tried to shape me as a person. But I would say we've both grown as people in the context of our relationship insofar as we've gone through normal maturation and have supported each other through that process. I wouldn't be who I am without her. She wouldn't be who she is without me. But there's something about the language of "building" …
/r/PurplePillDebate07/01/26 02:37 PM
7

I think the term "starter girlfriend" is gross incel speak, but I agree with the general premise that being in a healthy relationship and gaining self-knowledge of your values is a dynamic process that takes time to develop. My girlfriend in high school made me more capable of navigating college dating, which in turn refined my sense of what is important to me in a relationship and made me a ultimately capable of being a good long term partner and now husband. That capacity doesn't just apparate…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/01/26 11:39 AM
2

It's worth pointing out, you don't have to be with a person widely considered attractive to be in a good relationship. There are many positives aspects of being in a relationship beyond access to an attractive body.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/01/26 11:29 AM
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That's all well and good. But scale matters when thinking about response bias. Let's operate around median, since that's a widely applicable number. That number is 4 for lifetime n-count. It's easy to misestimate very large numbers. In your debt example, let's say someone overdrafts. They had $2000 in their account. They didn't track expenditures. Did I spend 2k last month? 1600? 800? 1245? 1956?. There's a huge range to that scale. But the median n-count here is 4. It is really, REALLY hard to …
/r/PurplePillDebate05/01/26 09:37 PM
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I think arguing the counterfactual isn't really circular, but I don't think we're going to meet common ground on the "asking" point. And I think I already answered your question above, unless I misunderstood what the question actually is.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/01/26 08:41 PM
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That's a far more reasonable take. To your point though, I don't really think it's intuitive; I think it's learned, and girls get way more space and push to learn than boys do. Stoicism is not emotional unavailability. Stoicism is not letting your emotions command your behavior, especially as it relates to things that are outside your power to affect. I'm upset about all the war and terrible things going on in the world, but I don't let that affect my mood as I go throughout my day. Stoicism. I …
/r/PurplePillDebate05/01/26 08:29 PM
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If all these avenues are impossible, where do you suppose I learned how to do it?
/r/PurplePillDebate05/01/26 08:21 PM
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"Do you think men have to "request to get off" when they hook up with women?" I think if men were only getting off 68% of the time, we'd be hearing about men requesting it. The rate is already what, like 98%? Where does it go from there. ETA: re-reading your last sentence, I see what you're getting at here. I agree it's unfair and unreasonable to foist all of the blame on women being vocal. Your point that female pleasure is deprioritized, I don't fully agree with; I think it's more so that men …
/r/PurplePillDebate05/01/26 08:20 PM
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Yeah... you'd be wrong lol. There's an abundance of literature on the correlation between rates of self-report of taboo behaviors and bio-verification of said behaviors. I work in public health doing population science of substance use and abuse and on these kinds of surveys, people are pretty frank about their engagement of taboo behaviors as long as the study is well-conducted. These data are from the National Survey of Family Growth, which employs strong sampling methods (with a slightly over…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/01/26 08:18 PM
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I'm convinced that a huge component of the orgasm gap in hetero women in failure to self-advocate (though why they don't is a much more complicated and murky issue).
/r/PurplePillDebate05/01/26 06:53 PM
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"Work to be done" implies some non-arbitrary level of work that constitutes being "done." If I think a job is done sufficiently, and my wife thinks that it needs to be done better, is one of us objectively right? I think there are bare minimums that should be more or less universal, mostly relating to basic sanitation. But beyond that, it's all negotiated.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/01/26 06:49 PM
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First good reply in this thread, if only because it's based off of existing peer-reviewed literature.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/01/26 06:46 PM
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Harper, C. R., Dittus, P. J., Leichliter, J. S., & Aral, S. O. (2017). Changes in the distribution of sex partners in the United States: 2002 to 2011–2013. Sexually transmitted diseases, 44(2), 96-100. Median lifetime n-count for women in 2002 was 3, and in 2013 it was 4. For top 20% by n-count for women in 2002 the median was 7, and in 2013 it was 8. For top 5% by n-count for women in 2022 the median was 20, and in 2013 it was still 20. I think the distribution of your four groups isn't even cl…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/01/26 06:44 PM
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As someone who does relatively complex statistical modeling of population level data, I can tell you right now that even if you got good quality data for something like this, the variability is going to be WAY too high for you to extract any actionable meaning out of this. What makes people happy is simply too diverse.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/01/26 06:36 PM
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I think a lot of men with poor emotional intelligence mistake emotional availability for being whiny. I grew up in a stable family, my friends all grew up in stable families, and I'm at an age where people I know are getting divorced and frankly it's fucking with me. I started a conversation with my wife recently about this, articulating how I grew up, how this experience is making me feel, and then introspecting and listening to her perspective on what I'm feeling. I didn't cry. I didn't mope. …
/r/PurplePillDebate05/01/26 06:34 PM
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Not necessarily. Your assertion presupposes that the same subset of lesbians and gays are getting married. Off the top of my head, my recollection is that income is a strong predictor for divorce, and lesbians make more than straight women while gay men generally make more than straight men. Other factors include time dating before marriage (lesbians famously commit super fast, gay men seem more measured in committing) and age at marriage (I'm guessing gay men tend to marry at older ages). Then …
/r/PurplePillDebate05/01/26 06:31 PM
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Girl, same.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/01/26 06:03 PM
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"Infinite dark void pill." Lol. Lmao.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/01/26 05:43 PM
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OP explicitly indicates he knows she didn't do anything wrong, and he's not upset with her.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/01/26 05:40 PM
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"Even larger guys talk about it" That's the wild part. If OP's measurements are correct, he's pushing 99th percentile for overall size. Likehe's legit hung. Probably a good thing he's in therapy, this is a massive overreaction.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/01/26 05:40 PM
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Re-read first paragraph. You're completely misinterpreting what happened.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/01/26 05:37 PM
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"Women only hurl size-related insults because they know it’s a sore spot." In defense of OP's girlfriend, the post is pretty clear that she wasn't insulting him, and was in fact framing her experience with a larger guy in a very negative way.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/01/26 05:36 PM
2

There is so much bro science in this post I don't even know where to begin.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/01/26 05:46 PM
1

Fair counter about the tone policing. I don't disagree about the testosterone. I disagree about the inherent manliness of men in photos from XX number of years ago; I'm suggesting that the subset of men being photographed years ago vs. the general population is not equivalent to what it is now. The barrier to being photographed is different in 2026 than it was in 1926. Would you dispute that?
/r/PurplePillDebate03/01/26 05:04 PM
1

That's a totally valid critique and I don't really have a good counterargument. I will say that the state of affairs of humanity as large is vastly different than it was 5000 or 500 or even 50 years ago. The social contract evolves, constantly. In our animal state you may be right; alternatively, in our animal state we may function as gibbons, fucking at orgiastic random and raising babies communally. But we don't exist in the animal state, we exist in our current society. And it may be my own b…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/01/26 05:01 PM
1

Let's assume there's no such thing as a soul mate. There are numerous women out there who would be a good partner for/to/with you. That number is non-zero. And the bigger the percent of the population that goes into that, the better your odds are of finding someone. I think most men here think that the percent of the population that finds you attractive needs to be VERY high to result in finding a woman to be able to settle down with. I think that that percentage is actually quite a bit lower th…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/01/26 04:47 PM
1

Swearing at me doesn't make you more correct. And yes, you've claimed that, but you also put your own spin on it. The large group photos you're describing don't really look to me the way you're describing them, so there's clearly a subjective element here.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/01/26 04:42 PM
1

"I've said multiple times on this sub, there is NOT a lack of good men. There is a lack of attractive men." I mean, they're not mutually exclusive.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/01/26 04:40 PM
1

"You just admitted to being insatiable" I think that's a HUGE reach to go from "I can't change what I like" to "you're insatiable." I like steak. I don't like lobster. You be talented at preparing lobster, but no matter how well you do it, I'm not going to be able to just decide that I like lobster, nor am I insatiable; quite the opposite. I have a deep and abiding love for steak, and a robust appetite, but I am absolutely satiable if fed what I like to eat.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/01/26 04:38 PM
2

Because 100 years ago, women were everything men wanted and men were relatively little of what women wanted, but women were compelled to seek men for security. Now that women no longer need that arrangement, men can either catch up, or be alone. Women in turn have already made peace with the possibility of being alone, and many seem quite content.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/01/26 04:35 PM
1

I'm not describing your intent, I'm adding context that you didn't include to something you're talking about.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/01/26 04:33 PM
1

Is it? Red pill = uncomfortable truth. Blue pill = comfortable lie. I think she's just making an observation on established trends; red and blue pills are differing interpretations of the same data. This person is describing the data pretty neutrally.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/01/26 04:31 PM
1

That depends very much on how well being able to attract your one and only predicts the ability to attract swathes of women; I think that's a HUGE dividing perception on this board. I think most women understand that most men can find A woman and not necessarily be able to pick and choose. I think a lot of men here think you need to be able to be an ace at getting women (broadly) to notice you to have any hope of connecting with a woman you want to be with exclusively.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/01/26 04:29 PM
1

To be fair, you're talking only about the subset of men who people bothered to photograph; an increasingly high standard the further back in time you go.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/01/26 04:25 PM
2

I commented on this post elsewhere in this thread; I'm pasting my response to the first paragraph here: I think most men complain about not getting this (being Chad), but don't actually want this. I thought I wanted this before I started actually having sex, and realized quickly that I really just like being with one woman I can love and have a connection with her. That's worked out great for me; I'm in a strong marriage with two wonderful children. I think if that were what men genuinely wanted…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/01/26 04:24 PM
1

"Still men are horrible in understanding themselves" I see therapy get pushed on men a lot here, and I think therapy is grossly overrated (I say that as someone with a graduate degree in Psychology) but I do think that women introspect WAY more than men do, and most men would benefit a great deal from greater introspection. From somewhere else in this thread: "Interesting that there's no talk about what men want, which is also part of the discussion. For many men, they speak with obvious envy ab…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/01/26 04:21 PM
1

To be fair (and this is not unique to women) most people have very poor introspection to their own motivations and the drivers of their own behavior, to listening to what women say they won't doesn't necessarily ensure increased odds of success.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/01/26 04:12 PM
3

Assuming that bf% estimate is legit (and I doubt it is) that would be an incredibly unusual distribution of bodyfat, all of which is besides the point that most people want a romantic partner they can live a long and healthy life with, and Class III Obese by BMI means incredibly high odds (not a guarantee of course, never a crystal ball) of a plethora of negative health outcomes and reduced lifespan and quality.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/01/26 04:09 PM
0

There was a thread on r/askwomen recently asking about times women slept with a virgin. They were almost universally positive and pretty much only said it was bad if the guy’s virginity came with crushing self esteem issues.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/12/25 01:15 PM
3

Married (11 years, together 16). Red pill aware, I’d say I erred more towards red pill when I was younger before I started having sex. Other info that is probably significant for OP’s interest, I’m 38, have a graduate degree and a well-paying job (my wife makes a bit more, though I’m closing the gap), two kids, am 6’0 and conventionally attractive, and live in a midsized urban area of the US.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/12/25 01:12 PM
1

I think you’re conflating lonely men with men who are in socialized or poorly socialized. That’s a major distinction and a major error on your part, and pretty much torpedoes your point.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/12/25 12:09 PM
5

“It’s fair to say most young women do hookups and most relationships grow from hookups.” But that’s wrong.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/12/25 03:40 AM
7

California, Colorado, Connecticut, Delaware, Maine, Maryland, Massachusetts, Minnesota, New Jersey, New York, Oregon, Rhode Island, Washington, and the District of Columbia (D.C.) all require paid leave.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/12/25 03:39 AM
2

Depends on the state.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/12/25 01:47 AM
5

Why are we worried about this? It’s initiating a connection based on the most superficial of characteristics, an isn’t generally welcome by the recipient (yes, even if the guy is handsome). What’s the problem?
/r/PurplePillDebate29/12/25 01:08 AM
7

I would say statements about “women in general” aren’t very predicative for individual women, and to the degree something isn’t predicative I wouldn’t worry about it too much.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/12/25 12:51 PM
3

The data on relative number of abortions is murky. Conservative states are more likely to have restrictions in place, and blue states adjacent to red states have higher abortion rates than ones adjacent to other blue states. So conservatives are pretty comparable to progressives in their willingness to seek abortions, but it’s hard to prove either way. Other things things like teen pregnancy and pregnancy out of wedlock are more clear; almost double the rate per capita in red states vs. blue, ev…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/12/25 12:27 PM
18

https://ifstudies.org/blog/the-trump-bump-the-republican-fertility-advantage-in-2024 IFS is generally garbage, so I don’t know if this methodology is sound, but it appears that the fertility gap by political ideology has been widening for the past ~20 years. It appears progressives will do almost anything to fight conservatism except make babies and raise them with progressive politics.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/12/25 11:30 PM
47

Posting the first hit for me from Google because lazy, but this is replicated all over the the place. https://www.theatlantic.com/health/archive/2025/02/democrat-baby-bust-trump-population-decline/681619/ Fertility rates are tanking among progressives, and while below replacement, are holding up far better among conservatives. If any political ideology is at risk of being “bred out” it’s progressivism, not conservatism.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/12/25 11:27 PM
11

You pointed out that she’s playing the role of the CEO looking for a trophy wife with very explicit criteria on a dating site. What do those equivalent men generally bring to the table other than their money?
/r/PurplePillDebate26/12/25 08:23 PM
12

Yes, and those idiots generally get dunked on here because that model is dying out. If income is all you bring to the table, you’re gonna be alone (or if you do manage to get partnered you’ll get cheated on and/or “the divorce came out of nowhere!”ed).
/r/PurplePillDebate26/12/25 08:11 PM
1

Yeah, and if working out and taking care of your diet actually helped people lose weight more people would do it.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/12/25 08:08 PM
5

I strongly disagree with your sentiment that most people - both male and female - wouldn’t find at least some degree of appeal in a highly controlled partner (or “partner”) that doesn’t offer resistance. Look at social media. We love it. We spend so much time on it. Perfectly curated algorithms that feed us exactly what we want, what we engage with, a distilled reflection of our subconscious. If social media was the appetizer, AI partners are going to be the main course.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/12/25 03:13 PM
9

“The future belongs to men who understand this” This is a huge piece of subtext that a lot of modern men and especially young men seem to be missing. A woman who is a partner and not a subordinate is fucking awesome. A teammate, not a secret adversary. And if you adapt to the new paradigm, it is so SO easy to have success with women. You’ll be amazed at how easy it is to have success with women. But the old definition of success where a woman is a commodity to consume and potentially discard (or…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/12/25 03:06 PM
16

If a man is having zero success with women, decentering women to focus on finding happiness in other domains of his life (professional, fitness, social, creative, etc.) can by definition only result in a net positive. And, frankly, these are things every man should be working on regardless of whether or not he’s having success with women.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/12/25 11:37 AM
12

I mean to be fair, every single one of those problems for men are created by other men, with a possible exception for workplace fatalities.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/12/25 05:50 PM
2

That’s a major crux of this whole gender war we’re all enjoying right now, isn’t it? There are two basic premises that women and men are touting: Women: men could have relationships if they liked us for more than sex, were likable themselves, and added value to our lives. Men: the criteria that attracts most women to a relationship (or just sex) are far more numerous than that, and none of those are necessary or sufficient. The problem is they’re both right. Many modern men clearly don’t like wo…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/12/25 11:04 AM
–

I think the standard counterargument to that is that you've got the chain of causality backwards. The hatred doesn't lead to loneliness, the loneliness leads to hatred. Not saying I necessarily agree with that counterargument, but that's one that you need to refute if that's the tack you're taking.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/12/25 06:47 PM
3

Yes, but if she’s genuinely happy in the relationship it’s almost impossible to find that somewhere else, and if you’re a man it’s incredibly easy to make a woman genuinely happy.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/12/25 03:17 PM
–

I actually think framing the question as asking women what they think the reason may be is a better jumping off point for soliciting feedback from men.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/12/25 02:49 PM
22

Morality aside, if you could get a woman to want to have kids with you, if you could make one want your commitment, or if you could make one want you exclusively, you wouldn’t carry these beliefs. So the point is moot.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/12/25 10:09 PM
25

"Do you believe that the men not being picked now would enjoy being picked for reasons other than romantic affection?" I think that is the exact divide between how men and women have reacted to the modern sex/dating/romance meta. Most men (and many women) don't realize how utterly dependent women were on men until recently. And really it took another generation to be clear of that dependence to get to the point we're at now. Women have collectively done a lot of reflecting and come to the conclu…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/12/25 08:49 PM
–

<image> You can’t gamify human interaction. Stop trying to gamify human interaction.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/12/25 01:09 AM
3

Right, but that’s my point about why red pill is wrong. The red pill gives those formulas, but the margin of error is MASSIVE, to the point that the formula is a fool’s errand.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/12/25 03:16 PM
–

“how men are threatening to take women's rights away because men are lonely.” No the fuck we’re not. Most men, even the lonely ones, find this repugnant.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/12/25 12:08 PM
6

<image> I saved this a while back, and I think it’s a good hinge point between the red and blue pill philosophies. Broadly, a blue pill is a comfortable lie and a red pill is an uncomfortable truth. To that end, I sympathize with red pill because I do think that society collectively ignores certain behaviors or denies they exist. Where I think red pill gets it wrong is they mistake these behaviors as WAY more prevalent than they are; they think that because people are in denial that they happen …
/r/PurplePillDebate07/12/25 05:32 PM
2

Complaining about the lack of good men and being at peace with being single are not mutually exclusive. I hate that getting my 5k time down and maxing my deadlift are incompatible, but I’m at peace with it. I’m bummed that I can’t eat steak every day without spending insane amounts of money, but it’s not keeping me up at night. I wish I had more time to travel, but time and money are finite and I am still happy with the travel I AM able to do. We don’t all get what we want. Do we deal with that …
/r/PurplePillDebate07/12/25 04:20 PM
0

Maybe it’s just my algorithm, but most of the man shaming content I see relates to men with low emotional intelligence, being susceptible to grifters, not practicing basic adulting (especially once partnered), and being myopically interested in women for sex. Literally all things that are within a person’s power to change, and none of which are physical traits. There is some content out there dogging on men who are short or ugly or poor, but that’s overwhelmingly the minority of the content I se…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/12/25 12:12 PM
12

I just came home from taking my kids and wife ice skating at an outdoor rink. I was there from 6-7:30. There were families, no older people, then overwhelmingly people in the 15-35 age range. Some groups, some couples, a few individuals. You can absolutely meet people at local events.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/12/25 01:54 AM
26

Lmao are you high? Go to any bodybuilding message board and it’s littered with posts complaining about skinny or nerdy or artsy or tall guys getting all the women.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/12/25 09:32 PM
-1

They shouldn't abandon being nice. They should abandon the idea that being nice is something that you do to get something. It is, unironically, its own reward. And to be clear, being nice and being successful with women are NOT mutually exclusive.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/12/25 02:33 PM
1

I'm sorry to pry, but I'm deeply curious. What did he do to break your heart if not cheat?
/r/PurplePillDebate05/12/25 11:14 AM
0

The median n-count for men and women has barely moved in years, and even for those in the top 20% of n-count it’s gone from lifetime partner count of 12 or 13 up to 15. The top 5% have skyrocketed, that’s true, from 38 up to 50. But all empirical evidence points to the behavior you’re describing as being rare. If you line up 10 random women, odds are that 1, maybe 2 of them have done what you’re complaining about.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/12/25 10:30 AM
4

Why would someone be heartbroken to learn the person they loved has no redeeming value? Really?
/r/PurplePillDebate04/12/25 01:41 AM
2

Of course. If fidelity (a very low and easy bar to hit) is all a man is able to offer and then later is found to not even be able to meet that, what good is he?
/r/PurplePillDebate04/12/25 01:33 AM
3

The whole thing. Every single thing you said was wrong and/or not verifiable.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/12/25 01:20 AM
3

There is simply no evidence that what you’re saying is true other than social media propaganda.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/12/25 01:05 AM
4

But they would if they could. Most incels would be sluts given the chance. That’s what the OP is getting at. Fidelity and being a good partner are just as likely in a high SMV man as a low one, and if the low ones act like their fidelity is something special they offer, it’s disappointing to learn that that very low bar is one they’re not even able to meet.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/12/25 12:58 AM
5

This is nonsense. Do you think character, compatibility, and common interests are more common in men who aren’t charismatic, good looking, or with status? Of course they’re not, it’s an equal distribution.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/12/25 12:47 AM
9

Hot take here, but there’s a huge number of single men who would make terrible partners. And all the women saying they’re better off single? They would make equally terrible partners. They feel righteous indignation on behalf of the “married single moms,” when realistically those women would be just as likely to be the shlubs they love to deride. Most people are NOT suited to partnership. It is difficult insofar as it requires decentering yourself, or at least being selfless. And the majority of…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/12/25 11:04 PM
–

Why? This is a debate thread and he succinctly and directly refuted your point.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/12/25 09:46 PM
–

Four people want sex. A fat guy, a fit guy, a fat girl, and a fit girl. The fit guy has sex with both of the women, the fat guy has no sex at all. The fit guy has sex with two women, the girls each have sex with one person, the fat guy has no sex at all. I don’t understand why people think this is complicated. Fair? No, not really, but not complicated.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/12/25 08:12 PM
4

Gambling is not an essential part of normal adult human relationships. You don’t need to learn to gamble intelligently. You need to learn how to communicate intelligently and with emotional awareness.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/12/25 05:28 PM
0

Because generally, only a hit dog barks.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/12/25 05:12 PM
51

You have a LOT of work to do if you think being in a relationship and getting good at sex are mutually exclusive.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/12/25 04:09 PM
5

To be fair, do you think there are men out there capable of getting into a relationship, who aren’t capable of getting a woman to have casual sex with them? I think women drastically underestimate this number. Or maybe men drastically underestimate their own capacity for getting women to be interested in casual sex. I’m not sure which.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/12/25 12:30 PM
–

Consider the possibility that the men in your social circle (including you) are not representative of the general population.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/12/25 09:06 PM
1

If forced to make a choice I’d pick Love as I will at least know where I stand at all times, but honestly neither of these strike me as viable long term relationship material.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/11/25 07:03 PM
9

<image> I saw this recently and felt compelled to screencap it, exactly for threads like this.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/11/25 01:52 PM
1

Interesting. I always used those terms to describe with who and how often someone wants sex. I’ll have to rethink my use of those terms.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/11/25 02:19 PM
-3

I may have misunderstood you; I thought you were implying that they’re mutually exclusive.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/11/25 12:25 PM
3

Not necessarily. I have a good friend who functionally has zero libido when single, but becomes hypersexual once she starts dating a guy and gets to know him well. She’ll have dry spells of years, but when with a guy she’ll want sex multiple times per day. I suspect she’s unusual among women, but I doubt she’s totally unique.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/11/25 12:08 PM
10

“Men (collectively) need to take responsibility for the sexual trauma that women experience at the hands of men (collectively).” Could you say what, practically, that looks like?
/r/PurplePillDebate29/11/25 12:05 PM
4

I’m asking because physical and emotional connection aren’t mutually exclusive, and can also drive each other. That should be obvious to anyone who has had sex, so I’m surprised by your perspective.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/11/25 02:14 AM
1

Lmao that’s what I thought. Might wanna look up what pair bonding looks like in voles. They pair bond as measured by spending time together, and have elevated oxytocin and vasopressin around each other, and shared raising of offspring. But they are NOT sexually monogamous, quite the opposite.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/11/25 01:53 AM
1

I’m speaking in comparative numbers, not “all women.” I’m over a decade married in a happy healthy relationship to someone I met right after college so admittedly I’m on the outside looking in at all this.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/11/25 01:52 AM
13

I think women are much more likely to have experienced “chad sex” than men are to have experienced “don’t stick your dick in crazy” sex. Food for thought.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/11/25 01:02 AM
-2

You’re referring to oxytocin and vasopressin expression? As studied extensively in animal models of pair bonding?
/r/PurplePillDebate29/11/25 01:01 AM
-1

I don’t mean this as an insult, but it will inform on how I respond to what you’re saying. Are you a virgin?
/r/PurplePillDebate29/11/25 12:37 AM
2

That overlooks the reality that emotional connection does make sex better for both men and women.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/11/25 12:27 AM
-1

For women to be careful about who they have sex and relationships with.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/11/25 12:19 AM
6

I mean there’s some obvious response bias. I don’t take that thread as proof positive of anything. But for someone primed to take the internet at face value it’s a brutal read.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/11/25 12:08 AM
85

Goddamn that second thread is nightmare fuel for romantically committed men.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/11/25 12:03 AM
4

That’s fine. I’m asking you to provide empirical evidence to support that claim, that is, “the statistics.”
/r/PurplePillDebate28/11/25 03:49 PM
2

What statistics?
/r/PurplePillDebate28/11/25 03:45 PM
4

I’d push back on that. Men don’t want oops babies but condoms can be inconvenient and make sex barely pleasurable for many men even when properly fitted. A viable birth control option would be very appealing.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/11/25 03:05 PM
2

I’m not. My friends aren’t. My coworkers aren’t. My family isn’t. Sounds like you’re just hanging around the wrong crowds.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/11/25 01:57 PM
-1

The scope of your reality is narrowed. Your lack of perspective does not make me naive.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/11/25 01:49 PM
-8

Your perception of women is deeply influenced by how shallow you are. I can’t help you 🤷‍♂️
/r/PurplePillDebate27/11/25 12:58 PM
-6

All evidence suggests it is true.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/11/25 11:37 AM
-6

Hot idiots would choose hot idiots every time. The fact that you think most women would make that choice means you’re only focusing on hot idiots. Which suggests you’re actually very shallow yourself.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/11/25 11:35 AM
2

I would argue that a huge number of incels are “nice but assholes.” Like it’s practically their defining trait.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/11/25 11:30 AM
-7

Nonsense. Outside of sex and dating, women generally treat attractive and unattractive men the same.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/11/25 11:28 AM
2

Your last paragraph reveals your misunderstanding. Nobody in accusing men of anything. It’s really that simple. I don’t know how to make this more obvious.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/11/25 09:29 PM
2

A Kafka trap requires an accusation. Man vs. bear is not an accusation. It’s a commentary on women’s experiences. It literally CANNOT be a Kafka trap without an accusation. If it was “hey, have you stopped assaulting women yet?” THAT would be a Kafka trap. But if you’re not being accused of something you can’t be trapped into falsely acknowledging you’re doing it.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/11/25 08:57 PM
2

It has nothing to do with men. It has to do with the experience of sexual assault and everything that comes with it. It’s a comparison of two bad experiences, not a commentary on men. You’re boxing with an imaginary enemy.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/11/25 08:54 PM
1

Ok but again, everything you just said skirts around your fundamental misunderstanding of the man vs. bear meme. Maybe that’s where I can help correct you. In your own words, what are women saying when they say “I choose the bear?”
/r/PurplePillDebate26/11/25 03:22 PM
2

“Man v bear may not have been a "critique" (as critiques are typically defined by detailed analysis and assessment), but it was a condemnation of men masquerading as a simple expression of generalized fear.” Ah. Found your mistake. “It perpetuates harmful stereotypes about men; I don't see many people complaining if the question had been rapist v bear or serial killer v bear.” Right. That’s what makes it a metaphor. They’re not afraid of literal men. They’re afraid of what a strange man in the w…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/11/25 03:02 PM
-3

I think you’re fundamentally misunderstanding the man vs. bear dialogue. It has nothing to do with men and is not a critique of men. It would be a Kafka trap if it were. But finding an accusation where there is none isn’t a Kafka trap. That’s why I don’t think you understand man vs. bear or Kafka traps; you’ve misinterpreted the former leading to incorrectly identifying this as the latter.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/11/25 02:50 PM
-2

I don’t think you understand the concept of the Kafka trap, or you didn’t understand my post.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/11/25 02:17 PM
1

I encourage anyone reading this and feeling discouraged not to derive their worldview from someone who chose “unloveable manlet” as the handle they use to present themselves to the world.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/11/25 01:23 PM
10

“The metaphor only works if the literal premise holds up.” The literal premise absolutely doesn’t have to hold up. That’s the entire point of a metaphor. “I’m pointing out that the real-world assumptions behind the metaphor aren’t actually accurate, which matters because the metaphor is being used to justify a negative claim about men.” The bear vs. man debate doesn’t say anything about men. It’s a statement on what women fear and what makes them feel emotionally vulnerable. The fact that so man…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/11/25 12:59 PM
3

A woman explained to me that she wants a man who exudes an aura of safety. I asked if that meant a man who could protect her from harm. She said that most violence against women is by an intimate partner; when she says she wants a man with an aura of safety, she means doesn’t want a man she trusts to protect her from danger, she means a man who makes her feel confident he won’t be dangerous to her.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/11/25 12:54 PM
7

Your points are mostly irrelevant because you’re arguing the point literally when the entire discourse is a metaphor.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/11/25 12:31 PM
13

The whole man vs. bear thing is a metaphor, and the entire discourse of mens’ reactions to a silly little meme validates it pretty comprehensively.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/11/25 12:27 PM
2

I don’t think there’s a compelling argument that men wouldn’t do what many women currently do if they had the ability. Case in point is the “top men” you reference, many of whom do exactly what you’re describing women doing - have lots of casual sex in their teens 20s and in some cases even 30s before settling down.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/11/25 11:03 AM
–

Understood. I accept that in good faith. I’m not the guy you’re replying to, but I do want to offer a counter perspective. I DO think most men would do things they don’t want to do in order to please their partner sexually. To many of us, it’s a sign of our regard for you. The valence of a sexual act changes based on how we feel about the person, not the act itself. A guy may be resistive to performing oral sex on a woman he meets at a bar, but will go down enthusiastically on a woman he cares a…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/11/25 12:42 PM
–

I think this is meant to be a gotcha but realistically, I think most guys would do a lot of things in bed that they don’t want to do if it made their partner happy.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/11/25 11:30 AM
2

I think the OP hit on an interesting idea, but men outnumber women 4:1 on dating apps, and women are not generally single unless they want to be. Let's all do the math on where the better place to meet women is... online or in real life.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/11/25 09:00 PM
1

I think that depends mightily on why the person who doesn’t want to do it but does anyway is doing it. I work a full time job, I go to school full time, I’m an active and deeply engaged father to my two young kids, I chair the board of directors for a non-profit, I exercise daily, and I do all the cooking in our house. Sometimes at the end of the day my wife wants me and I’m dead tired, too tired to want it. But I want her to feel desired, and I want to give her pleasure, and I don’t want her to…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/11/25 11:31 PM
1

Certainly not any relationship I’d ever want. Equally certainly not slavery.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/11/25 11:25 PM
0

Is this hyperbole? I see some bad takes from men here, but I’ve not seen much that I’d seriously equate to slavery.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/11/25 10:48 PM
-1

I don’t think expressing preferences about a partner’s appearance or the frequency of sex constitutes “opposing your partner’s autonomy.”
/r/PurplePillDebate23/11/25 10:38 PM
–

A significant other is not the same as a woman on a first date. And a first date feels much more like an opportunity to show your value as a potential partner when the guy isn’t wondering if she’s going on five other dates that week (or arriving at the date less than 24 hours after getting her back blown out by a guy who didn’t even care about her opinion enough to take her on a date). Not saying that’s common… but I don’t really blame the young single guys out there these days for worrying abou…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/11/25 09:50 PM
–

Spoiling people and making them happy is something I enjoy. Being a source of happiness strokes my ego. But when I was single I was acutely conscious of that attitude being taken advantage of. Generosity without getting something in return is a leading move, not a long term strategy.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/11/25 09:45 PM
1

It’s 100% projection. Doesn’t necessarily mean it’s not true. Though I’d argue that’s not a male/female specific behavior.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/11/25 09:04 PM
2

Would you want those other experiences for him, as well? And, I realize that’s a question with a possible charged implication of double standard; I ask in good faith of genuine curiosity.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/11/25 09:02 PM
16

It’s not even a little bit like saying that lmao.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/11/25 06:56 PM
27

Women love men. They also don’t need them. You can adore something you can live without.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/11/25 06:47 PM
–

If the preference is rooted in hypocrisy, I get it, that's distasteful. But why would it bother you if it's rooted in jealousy? Isn't jealousy a fairly acceptable way to feel?
/r/PurplePillDebate20/11/25 02:00 PM
1

Golly, the inflection point looks to fall pretty cleanly on 1971. Did anything really important happen to the US economy that year that would be make it harder to get by on a single income?
/r/PurplePillDebate20/11/25 11:23 AM
9

“I also adore men.” I think the overwhelming majority of women do. They’re just frustrated with the current state of them. Men are no longer necessary for women, and being needed and providing have been central to male identity for so long, men are struggling to find meaning other than “being necessary.” It’s a big shift for everyone; it sucks to have to live in a transitional phase in history, but I do have confidence things will iron themselves out. As has always been the case throughout histo…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/11/25 02:19 PM
–

And hunger poverty and crime have all plummeted. So what?
/r/PurplePillDebate19/11/25 01:02 AM
–

“an entire sex learns that they’ve never been wanted, only tolerated because they were needed to an extent.” That only applies to the men who were, at best, tolerable, and didn’t bring anything worth wanting. Women aren’t actually incredibly uncomplicated, and the threshold of “don’t be intolerable” is a very easy bar to cross. If you can’t cross that bar, you deserve to be left behind.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/11/25 10:02 PM
–

Which part of my post was the most feminist? The part where I described a seminal feminist work as inadequate? The part where I talked about another seminal feminist work as being mistaken in attributing women’s sense of existential dread to the patriarchy? The part where I said women aren’t going to find meaning in their careers?
/r/PurplePillDebate18/11/25 08:13 PM
19

“…happier single than they would be in a relationship…” …with someone from the available pool of options. Most people are happier single than in a relationship with a bad option, but happier in a relationship with a good option than they are when single.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/11/25 06:43 PM
–

FWIW, I think we’re still adjusting. My wife and I were debating recently whether Betty Friedan read any Nietszche before she wrote The Feminine Mystique. There’s obvious existentialist elements, and Friedan’s influence by The Second Sex is obvious. Where Nietszche’s work is superior to Beauvoir’s (in my opinion) is in his offering of a solution to the search for existential meaning; Beauvoir asserted the importance of the search for meaning but then pivoted to couch that as a rationale for econ…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/11/25 06:39 PM
–

I think average people have always been ugly, and they still are. But we have access to a high density of real (ish) life portrayals of beautiful/wealthy/exciting people that skews our perception of the availability of the exceptional, while social media has simultaneously fostered a culture of hyping people up way more than we may actually perceive people as being (especially women).
/r/PurplePillDebate18/11/25 06:00 PM
–

I don’t think most men have a firm grasp on how reliant women were on men for basic economic survival up until very recently. The social stigma surrounding being single as a woman wasn’t something that was gong to just disappear as soon as that reliance was diminished, and that reliance isn’t something that disappeared overnight either. The reality is that the proportion of inadequate men probably hasn’t changed (much) since 100 years ago. The difference is that back then, inadequate men could s…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/11/25 05:54 PM
3

Reminds me of my favorite response to “men peak later than women.” “You can’t peak later than women if you don’t peak at all.” Men who didn’t have some level of success with age-normative peers when they were younger rarely turn it around later in life. Not never. But rarely.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/11/25 04:25 PM
3

I usually don’t see the items written that way. Can you link the study you’re referencing? I’d be curious to see.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/11/25 03:25 PM
3

“Pretty sure men cheat more than women though” Men self-report it more than women do. Be intentional and accurate with your language when relaying research results.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/11/25 03:16 PM
–

I think that’s a pretty easy argument to make when you don’t define your terms. What do you mean by “function at scale?” What do you mean by “compete?” How would you operationalize “working at a population level?”
/r/PurplePillDebate17/11/25 02:29 PM
–

I used to host “10 parties” where I’d invite friends over and everyone brought over a list of 10 responses to a prompt, then we’d relax and drink and eat and discuss our lists. At one party the prompt I gave was “10 social/cultural shifts that will happen in the next 50 years.” One of the predictions I made was that various forms of non-monogamy would be openly accepted and legally protected within 50 years. I made that prediction in 2013 and my friends called me crazy. Super interesting to me t…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/11/25 12:37 PM
–

Thread could end here. It won’t, but it could.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/11/25 04:48 PM
1

It’s using CBT principles in a self-guided manner. No therapist needed, and it’s equally efficacious.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/11/25 11:59 PM
7

https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2022/03/220331101532.htm?utm_source=chatgpt.com Link to paper with methods. https://www.cnbc.com/2023/04/13/more-women-out-earn-their-husbands-but-still-do-more-work-at-home.html?utm_source=chatgpt.com Summary of research from Pew.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/11/25 09:25 PM
29

I think most women want 50/50 for both finances and home/family, but men don’t generally meet their end of the bargain, and even when a woman is the bread winner she still ends up doing much if not most of the household and family labor. So if men aren’t going to be up to the task of the home and kids, why not seek a man to provide?
/r/PurplePillDebate15/11/25 08:16 PM
6

Right. Which is the exact opposite of what you just described. Making you atypical.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/11/25 06:56 PM
4

Surely you understand how atypical you are in your approach? This thread isn’t directed at you, so why chime in?
/r/PurplePillDebate15/11/25 06:49 PM
3

I don’t think there’s any evidence that therapy helps men unless they have a dsm-diagnosed disorder. The only large meta analysis that I’m aware of showed that therapy for men was comparable or possibly underperformed when compared to cognitive behaviorally informed self-reflection sessions. I don’t think most men’s lives would improve from going to therapy; the things men need in society right now are not going to be improved by going to therapy.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/11/25 05:41 PM
5

Why are women obsessed with men going to therapy.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/11/25 04:46 PM
1

There are many shades of difference between total hedonism and being a slave to a relationship. I don’t think you think that, but just fyi that’s how your post reads to me.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/11/25 03:09 PM
1

I start conversations with strangers all the time. Some of those strangers are women. It’s never with intent to pick them up; I’m happily married for over a decade and have never and will never stray. If I’m approaching a stranger and making conversation there’s usually a reason, and it’s almost always met with a friendly response. I see guys cold approach women sometimes and they act like what they’re doing is what I do, just making conversation. But it’s glaringly obvious they’re working an an…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/11/25 12:00 PM
0

If you became educated, became emotionally aware, got fit, developed a career, and developed your own sense of style, and you don’t feel it was worthwhile because it didn’t net you a woman… do you see how that might be unattractive to a woman? Or to anyone really?
/r/PurplePillDebate15/11/25 11:36 AM
1

That’s reasonable, as is the other person who responded to my example. The specific title is less important than the broader point that in any organizational structure, the person operating the actual nitty gritty and logistics isn’t necessarily the same as the person making the top level decisions. Maybe a better example would be in the sciences, a study PI responsible for getting grants and making the major determinations on a project and the study coordinator doing the actual work. In that ca…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/11/25 02:39 PM
9

If you want to use corporate lingo, the husband is functioning as the CEO, the wife is functioning as the CFO. That said, the happiest households I know all have a more or less 50/50 distribution of both decision making and practical logistics.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/11/25 02:19 PM
–

Selection bias. The men confident enough to approach you aren’t representative of the male population.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/11/25 07:36 PM
–

Yes, exactly that.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/11/25 06:48 PM
–

No, I guess I meant more that women seem to readily tolerate when men don’t help, and also being helpful isn’t something I perceive women as prioritizing when deciding on a man. It’s nice if men help. It’s probably even preferred. But it’s not necessary, not sufficient, and just pretty low on the list of priorities for women when choosing men, so it’s low on men’s list of priorities as something to become.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/11/25 06:03 PM
4

I’ve been surprised how many in this thread list diet and exercise as a component of taking care of your looks. They’re arguably the two biggest modifiable determinants of physical appearance and how you present, yes according to the most recent NHANES data, about 1/3 Americans 20-39 are obese and another 1/3 are overweight. So all you have to do is be in the normal range on BMI and you’re instantly going to have a decent chance of being in the upper third on looks.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/11/25 05:46 PM
2

It’s likely not popular because women aren’t really into it.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/11/25 05:43 PM
–

I don’t think being a career woman adds nearly as much to the package as women think it does. And I disagree. I’m married and am an equal contributor around my home, and an active an engaged father both emotionally and practically. My wife appreciates this. But I think she’s in the minority of women who genuinely value this.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/11/25 01:34 PM
12

Because performing those roles is an active turn off to a large number of women, and men want women more than they want to break out of gender roles.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/11/25 01:19 PM
3

I’ve never experienced this when I was single, I’ve never observed this happening to a man, and none of my women friends have ever described a situation like this. How often is this happening to you, or how often have you personally seen this happen? “I’ve heard about” or “I saw this clip online” don’t count.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/11/25 03:23 PM
24

Hookups are harder for guys to get than relationships are because while there’s overlap, there are distinct things that elevate your chances of getting one vs. the other. The things that help a guy hook up are often out of his control, whereas the things that help a guy get a relationship he can largely control.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/11/25 02:13 PM
6

Are you familiar with the concept of a confound? Walking around with a lighter in your pocket is associated with lung cancer. Lighters don’t cause lung cancer, but walking around with one is associated with being a smoker, and smoking is associated with lung cancer. Being a virgin (especially later in life) is like carrying a lighter. It’s not really a problem, but you’re much more likely to have a variety of neuroses associated with being a virgin, and those neuroses are a huge turn off.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/11/25 12:38 PM
6

I'm exposed to way more human interaction than I am to media on a daily basis. This is the "touch grass" philosophy you may hear bandied about. I'm faithful to one woman and am generally universally regarded as a good and respected man in my social circles. I couldn't care less how a man like me - one who does not sleep around - is portrayed in media.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/11/25 04:21 AM
10

"Asking them to have empathy for men is the same as telling them to purposefully strip away the power from themselves in a way, because it forces the relationship to be based upon mutual understanding and respect instead of relying on the leverage they have." Another way to say that is it would be asking women in the 21st century to do what men in the 20th century did; volitionally cede their power in the interest of equality.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/11/25 04:15 AM
7

Men outnumber women 4:1 on dating apps. So 20% of dating app users are women. The remaining 80% are men. If 20% of the men (so 16% of all users) are getting 80% of the women (so also 16% of all users) that actually sounds like parity to me. If you’re a man, then the ideal strategy would likely be to realize that if only 20% of the people on the apps are women, then there is an abundance of women NOT on the apps that you can meet, befriend, date, work with, socialize with, or do any number of oth…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/11/25 03:18 AM
13

There is a huge difference between an unproven accusation and a provably false accusation. Harsh punishment for proven false accusation should not be impactful on someone’s willingness to come forward about something that actually happened.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/11/25 06:56 PM
1

I was off the dating marker long before the apps, so I don’t know how this works… I thought you message after you match?
/r/PurplePillDebate09/11/25 11:44 AM
6

I think you’re talking about behavior after matching, the guys you’re talking with in this thread are talking about getting any matches in the first place.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/11/25 11:42 AM
2

I thought the “guys choke you without asking” thing was a meme but I was talking to some of my younger women friends at work and they all said at least one guy had tried it. I was blown away.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/11/25 04:13 PM
5

I’ve noticed a big gap between men and women and the degree to which they’d want to make their fantasies a reality. I think that plays a part in this discussion.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/11/25 02:30 PM
6

If you read the woman’s profile before swiping, you will increase the odds of the women viewing your profile being people who would be interested in you. That is exactly OP’s point. If you were more selective with your swiping, the downstream effect in your and in women’s algorithms would be an increase in matches.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/11/25 01:37 PM
1

So you don’t mind being less attractive, but refuse to be the more attractive one?
/r/PurplePillDebate08/11/25 12:11 PM
-1

A few points: “3 years older than me.” Is this a deal breaker? Why? This feels arbitrary. “5cms taller” Reasonable. I think men overrate the importance of height because women use height as a filter on apps, but many women don’t use or don’t like apps. “Same socioeconomic level as my family” Ok now we’re getting into possible trouble. What do you mean by this? You mention later on that your family provides you everything you need… are you expecting a guy to provide the lifestyle someone your par…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/11/25 11:17 AM
1

“For one, I don’t think average-looking people are ugly.” Ugly, no. But definitely not attractive. The average American is not only not attractive, they are distinctly unattractive. Not necessarily ugly, but definitely unattractive.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/11/25 06:02 PM
4

That sort of circumvents the question; is average attractive? Personally, I’d say the average man AND the average woman are pretty unattractive (here in the US anyway).
/r/PurplePillDebate07/11/25 12:24 PM
18

Well I’m married so these aren’t women I’m chasing. They’re friends, colleagues, etc. And I’m not going to discard them as people for having bad taste in men.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/11/25 09:32 PM
11

I’m consistently perplexed by it. It’s not the “males not getting orgasms epidemic” or the “unstroked male ego epidemic.” It’s the male loneliness epidemic.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/11/25 08:38 PM
51

I associate with women who make bad choices in men. I don’t associate with men who treat women poorly. So the range of behavior I have an opportunity to try to correct is sort of limited.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/11/25 12:18 PM
14

For the amount of charity work I could do for $10 million, my wife would 100% divorce me if I didn’t cheat on her in this scenario, and vice versa.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/11/25 02:37 PM
4

Mistrust that women are honest with men about what they want, and mistrust that women are honest with themselves (more so the latter on this sub).
/r/PurplePillDebate05/11/25 02:35 PM
2

That’s interesting. I’ve seen in most the threads the opposite; “hot” means just his body, “handsome” means his aura, his style, who he is as a person.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/11/25 02:01 PM
2

I think it reflects mistrust, which I don’t necessarily ascribe to resentment.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/11/25 01:55 PM
5

It’s interesting to hear it framed quantitatively that way. I think TRP response to that would be that you don’t realize how many men don’t pass your looks standards because you effectively don’t see them, therefore you don’t even realize they’re not meeting that standard. Do you think that’s possible?
/r/PurplePillDebate05/11/25 01:53 PM
6

To be fair, that’s happening in both men and women and is the result of technological shifts, not some moral failing.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/11/25 01:51 PM
2

I could see an argument for ignorance, but resentment? Not saying you’re wrong, but I could use a little hand holding on that one.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/11/25 01:13 PM
6

I had this conversation with my wife recently. She didn’t understand the “men would rather be called hot than handsome” thing. I explained that it’s more flattering to praise someone for something they can’t control that only a limited number of people can be (hot, good looks) than for something that is in your control but is accessible to anyone (handsome, good personality). It’s a “specialness” kind of thing. She seemed to accept that.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/11/25 12:46 PM
3

The old study that showed most women with a highly skewed distribution of ratings for men and an even distribution of ratings for women also showed men exclusively message women at the top of the distribution, while women message men all across the distribution except for the very bottom. So women are harsher when judging looks but also more likely to message someone they view as average or below average.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/11/25 12:31 PM
21

The discrepancy between what women say and how they actually behave is what keeps like 90% of the threads on this sub active.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/11/25 12:27 PM
4

I’d be really interested to hear your definition of romance or romantic. To me it’s the union of the highest level of platonic love with sexual desire, nothing more nothing less. Practically, “the highest level of platonic love” looks like sharing my whole self, my hopes dreams and fears, total honesty and emotional availability. It is very similar to the platonic love I have for my other friends, just to an even greater extent. Practically, sexual desire isn’t just access to a hole. It’s showin…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/11/25 11:55 AM
14

I think there’s a case to be made that a wide range of movements have perfectly agreeable stated goals like ending racism or giving women equal rights to men. The core of the argument is whether these movements actually provide what they profess.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/11/25 11:20 AM
2

I’m unfamiliar with the “I’m fucking my best friend” tag on any major porn sites. Maybe I don’t watch enough.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/11/25 11:35 PM
9

My wife used that exact phrase in her anniversary card to me this year and I thought it was sweet. But I’ve only been with her 16 years, maybe I’m still learning.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/11/25 08:19 PM
2

That’s not what chivalry was, either in theory or as it was actually practiced.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/11/25 09:38 PM
3

Chronically online take. I’m 6’0 and 150lbs, and nobody has ever been surprised of it comes up in conversation that I lift. You don’t have to fill a t-shirt to look fit, especially if you know how to dress yourself. I don’t say this to be snarky or unkind, but have you considered the possibility that you may have body dysmorphia?
/r/PurplePillDebate03/11/25 05:05 PM
2

Being engaging and showing effort contribute to developing attraction.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/11/25 04:38 PM
3

Useful add, thanks!
/r/PurplePillDebate03/11/25 04:36 PM
5

The thread is visible but the OP comment is gone, which included important context.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/11/25 04:28 PM
0

Right. Why do you believe that? Or do you take it as self evident.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/11/25 04:26 PM
3

That’s hyperbolic. You can be not boring by being engaging, which is distinct from being entertaining. Tellingly, you entertain a passive subject. You engage with an active participant. Your fear of “jestering” suggests to me that you don’t see women as peers.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/11/25 04:25 PM
4

Holy shit that study should be pinned in half the subs on Reddit. So, tl;dr of that study is, your self perception of your own attractiveness matters more for yor mental health than how you are actually rated by others.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/11/25 04:18 PM
1

Why do you believe this?
/r/PurplePillDebate03/11/25 04:11 PM
0

Do you interact differently with men than you do with women? In a post above you say you don’t want to be a “clown/jester” for women, but I assume you don’t act like one for your guys?
/r/PurplePillDebate03/11/25 04:10 PM
2

I keep hearing the term “clown/jester” from guys with redpill flair. Can you explain what that is? Is this some new term?
/r/PurplePillDebate03/11/25 04:09 PM
3

I had to check the math, 80kg is 176 lbs… at 6’2 that is an awesome physique. He’s not gonna look like a powerlifter, but if he’s got decently low bf% at that height and weight he’s in model territory.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/11/25 04:08 PM
5

Ironically, the post you link to was removed by another mod, so no idea what it’s about.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/11/25 03:57 PM
2

Have you ever tried shaving? Not trying to persuade you, just curious because most men haven’t, and a lot of guys who do try it end up liking how it looks and feels (as do their ladies).
/r/PurplePillDebate03/11/25 03:53 PM
2

Counterpoint: make men shave the way women do. Smooth skin feels good, and shows off muscle striation better.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/11/25 03:29 PM
2

If a guy is looking for alternatives to manosphere podcasts, or is seeking a more positive masculinity and frame on self improvement, I recommend DOAC, Art of Manliness, and Peter Attia’s The Drive.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/11/25 01:58 PM
2

Never heard it phrased this way, I’ll be copying this. Wish I had an award to give.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/11/25 12:21 PM
7

If women knew that was the obligation, they’d just stop letting unattractive men into their social circles, and the men would become even more isolated.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/11/25 11:31 AM
6

I can’t tell if you’re joking or not.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/11/25 09:03 PM
4

You’re confusing “advantageous” with “necessary.” It’s a huge mistake that a lot of red and black pillers seem to make, arguably the fundamental flaw of both views.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/11/25 08:58 PM
17

Having sex with people they don’t want to have sex with. There’s a word for that. What’s the word?
/r/PurplePillDebate01/11/25 03:09 PM
9

I’m not gonna bother debating OP, not because I think you’re wrong, but because he’s lost and it’s beyond my ability as a stranger on the internet to fix him.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/11/25 03:09 PM
4

I think a part of that is women start dating earlier because they can date older in their formative years much more easily than men (e.g. like 15g and 17b are much more common than 15b and 17g). And women can get much easier to access to sex than men, even if it’s bad sex. My point is, I think women have much more and much earlier exposure to both bad sex and bad relationships, so they are more likely to have developed standards because they understand that bad sex/relationships are in fact wors…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/11/25 10:55 AM
1

Finding dark irony to be darkly humorous is sick and sociopathic?
/r/PurplePillDebate30/10/25 03:32 PM
0

"If not, then you face demands, and these demands are much higher than your mother had for your father." That's kind of a bullshit reason to be concerned about this, because a woman's demands that she could practically place on a man were deeply limited due to social and legal barriers to living a reasonably good life as an unpartnered person. An extreme extension of the logic of that complaint would be "the demands faced by employers today by their employees are much higher than the demands fac…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/10/25 03:16 PM
2

I think context matters. We were 22, just out of college. I think people can think in terms of potential at that age. Fast forward 16 years and I have a doctorate and an excellent job. I turned it around. I can’t say whether I was a smart bet or a lucky bet for her, only that it worked out.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/10/25 09:34 PM
0

Potential, sure. I was a poor student as an undergrad but was very smart and just lacked ambition. I also lacked guidance or direction, which is what I blamed most; she helped me learn to take accountability. But my intelligence always came through in conversations and she was attracted to my mind. We were both working a crummy retail job, and being in retail I went from being really shy to really charming over a few years. That probably helped. The retail shop sold stuff related to a shared ath…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/10/25 09:22 PM
2

Nice guys don’t finish last. Incompetent guys finish last. Lots of incompetent guys behave themselves because they aren’t capable of acting according to what they want. Don’t mistake being well behaved with being nice. A weak man who doesn’t start fights isn’t peaceful, he’s just weak.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/10/25 08:58 PM
4

A nationally if not globally recognizable pro-gun advocate who explicitly said that gun deaths are a price we pay for having the 2nd amendment getting shot in the neck is the objective definition of irony. Many people find irony inherently funny, even if it's tragic. Does that really make someone sick in the head?
/r/PurplePillDebate29/10/25 08:15 PM
3

"How did she become your wife or even girlfriend without you having any of these traits?" Is this question supposed to be ironic? Like a guy can't get a woman if he's not these things? My friend, I mean this with my whole heart, and not one single ounce of sarcasm, TOUCH GRASS. We had a shared interest. We met through mutual friends. She got my number from a woman I worked with (also shared interest) and after we hung out a couple of times, I asked her on a date and she said yes. It wasn't that …
/r/PurplePillDebate29/10/25 08:13 PM
5

Wait so are you saying there are no hard and fast rules to human behavior, and you can’t gamify things like attraction and romance to the point of “if I hit this level I will get love and sex?” IDK. Sounds like it might challenge my black and white world view that’s been reinforced by being chronically online and fed an algorithm. Better call it cope and forget about it.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/10/25 07:33 PM
13

When I was young (early 20s) and I struggled, my parents wanted to coddle me, support me, tell me my problems were other peoples' fault. My then-girlfriend (now wife) wanted me to stop waiting for good things to be handed to me, be aggressive, take action, accept accountability, and just generally channel my angst into change. Guess which strategy helped me break out of my cycle of failures?
/r/PurplePillDebate29/10/25 06:57 PM
3

I do think that more so than 20+ years ago, the two major American political factions more and more represent a fundamentally different position not on how best to achieve a shared vision, but of the vision itself. When I would debate friends on my college campus 20 years ago, we agreed on wanting generally the same kind of world to live in, but disagreed on how to get there. I’m in academia and am on college campuses, and it really does seem different.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/10/25 06:19 PM
3

That hasn’t been my experience with women, either in my marriage or with women in general. Sounds like a skill issue.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/10/25 06:03 PM
8

Traits aren’t black and white. “I want a sensitive man!” “He opened up and it gave me the ick!” You can express your feelings without making her your therapist. “I want a man who’s in control!” “I don’t want a man who’s controlling!” Be proactive and have the confidence to voice your opinions, but also don’t be a domineering control freak. “He should be funny!” “He’s too funny.” Don’t turn every little thing into a joke. Don’t try to find a way to funny or a reason to make a quip when you’re hav…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/10/25 05:53 PM
7

That’s a great question. I’m 11 years married, 16 years into my relationship, and my biggest complaint is that she doesn’t always express her needs because she doesn’t like to be taken care of. I’ve gotten good over the years at intuiting what she needs, but it’s not always easy.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/10/25 02:23 PM
1

No, the opposite. Men should shave their legs. Everyone should.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/10/25 10:13 AM
3

The site is Medium. They choose to put their content behind a paywall, not the government.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/10/25 10:10 AM
8

“Sex is more important to me than learning to love myself.” “Okay, that’s fair. But then why complain” OP literally said it’s fair to feel that way. How is that saying it’s bad?
/r/PurplePillDebate28/10/25 08:05 PM
2

So how does that work? Like you don’t want to be touched by anyone, but you want sex, which inherently involves touching. Or is it just your libido is intact but you don’t actually want sex?
/r/PurplePillDebate28/10/25 06:50 PM
1

So do you have sexual desire?
/r/PurplePillDebate28/10/25 06:46 PM
–

“Claims touch is their love language.” And non-sexual touch is NEVER important to them. Touch is my love language. I hug the homies. I hug my neighbors. When I’m socializing outside of the office I hug my coworkers. I am CONSTANTLY picking my kids up and swinging them around and rough housing with them. I love physical touch as a way to connect with people. And my need for that touch NEVER makes me think I’m owed access to anyone else’s body. I HATE when internet losers use this phrase. “And I h…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/10/25 06:01 PM
2

I believe the standard response here is “touch grass.” Offline, my statement is patently obvious. You have to live life and learn about the world through a curated screen to think I’m wrong.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/10/25 03:56 PM
11

"In both humans and rodents alike, mating facilitates but is not necessary for the formation of a pair bond [4]." I swear to God do you people EVER read the things you cite? Most pair-bonding literature comes from comparing human neurobiology to prairie voles, due to the comparability of their oxytocin and vasopressin signaling. Guess how important sexual monogamy is for pair bonding in prairie voles? Again, from the paper YOU linked: "Although prairie voles are socially monogamous, they are not…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/10/25 05:55 PM
8

I agree that stay at home parenting is tough. I took a full paternity leave with both of my kids and was the sole caretaker of the kids, the house, and the family calendar and event planning for three months for each of them. It wasn't as hard as my actual paid job, but it wasn't easy either. That said, I think your experience is highly atypical. Gender norms persist, and many people will look at a house-husband married to career-woman dynamic with negativity (even if well-disguised).
/r/PurplePillDebate27/10/25 05:42 PM
5

"Pair bonds are a biological phenomenon and are not equivalent to the human social institution of marriage. Married couples are not necessarily pair bonded. Marriage may be a consequence of pair bonding and vice versa." From the link you provided. And it only cites two sources, one of which is an Op Ed in Psychology Today that doesn't list any sources, the other being a review paper that basically concludes "there are four different models of pair bonding in humans and we don't really know what'…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/10/25 05:35 PM
5

To some men, a woman "trying their best" is an unfinished sentence; "trying their best TO MAKE HIM HAPPY." The level of woman's effort is a function of how much she wants to make him happy. It stems from the idea that the highest level of satisfaction a man can have is being someone else's highest priority. Which... right or wrong, that's the unspoken part.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/10/25 05:30 PM
3

"If anything, those men are saying "I would like my girl to let me do things she doesn't like, that is what I consider BEST."" Correct. They consider a woman "giving/doing the best sex" when prioritizing his experience, even if it's at the expense of her own. To be clear, I'm not saying that's wrong. It's not how I think about it. I may even suggest that they're selling themselves short and should reflect on what good sex is. But I'm not gonna tell them they're wrong if that's what they value; p…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/10/25 04:25 PM
5

See my other post on this thread; I'm not at all salty about it. I never got to try one and would have loved to do so. She didn't have a bad time, was just non-plussed, and she understands that that kind of stuff is always emotionally risky, and the juice just isn't worth the squeeze. I'm inclined to trust her on that and I've never pestered her for one. But you're missing my broader point. I don't consider her to have "given her best" to guys she cared less about, but I'm explaining the psychol…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/10/25 04:21 PM
4

Retroactive jealousy seems like a fair term for it. I think the bigger point is that I think people are using the terms "giving your best" means different things. I think most women would consider "giving their best" to mean being completely present, engaged, in love, having deeply passionate sex fueled by romance and intimacy. A lot of men would consider "giving their best" to mean threesome and anal.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/10/25 04:17 PM
2

So do women. Arguably, many women want sex more than many men. But wanting something badly and being willing to accept a lesser version of what you want aren't the same.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/10/25 04:15 PM
-3

Can't speak to others, but I think there's a perception that women will be more willing to try things that are novel or exciting with men that they aren't committed to because the stakes are lower. My wife had a fmf threesome in college with a fwb she didn't really care about because if it blew up in her face, so what? But she absolutely refuses to even have the conversation with me, because we have a whole life together and to do anything that would even marginally threaten that seems insane to…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/10/25 03:53 PM
1

What would you accept as proof?
/r/PurplePillDebate26/10/25 04:51 PM
0

It’s not a cop out if I’m right 💁‍♂️
/r/PurplePillDebate26/10/25 04:49 PM
4

I think OP means that his experience extrapolates to the general population. The degree to which that’s true is what’s up for debate.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/10/25 02:20 PM
–

Do I think there’s a correlation? Not really. You don’t know their internal states. Also, science doesn’t dictate purpose. Like it’s literally outside the scope of what science does.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/10/25 01:46 PM
–

They’re already having to re-calculate these models of population explosion in poor countries because their growth rate is slowly rapidly as women become more educated. The transition from pre to post industrial is happening incredibly fast and everything that comes with it.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/10/25 01:25 PM
–

Ironically, you ARE choosing a comforting lie. You’re accepting the lie that biology dictates purpose, which means you can excuse yourself from having to create your own meaning and adhere to it. You’re choosing misery over true struggle; you’re taking the easy path by telling yourself you’re just more honest when the reality is you’re just afraid.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/10/25 01:18 PM
–

It’s your choice to believe that, and you can make a different choice.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/10/25 01:11 PM
–

If you’re looking at “best experience” as purely chemical reactions, there are numerous drugs that will do far more than sex will. And chemically, masturbation isn’t that much less than sex. So I don’t think that’s actually your rationale.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/10/25 12:37 PM
–

You’re confusing “mechanism” with “purpose.”
/r/PurplePillDebate26/10/25 12:26 PM
–

The belief that sex is the best pleasure life has to offer and that it is the most fundamental and best thing in this earth is an active component of why you’re not getting any. There are greater forms of fulfillment in life than sex.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/10/25 12:23 PM
2

It’s not society’s fault. Everyone is responsible for not creating negativity for others. If you can’t control your emotions without inflecting your misery on others, that’s a moral failing, and you deserve to be unhappy.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/10/25 02:15 PM
3

I’m telling men to be able to find meaning in other aspects of life if they don’t get what they want in sex and relationships. Women have done that successfully. Why can’t you do what women can do?
/r/PurplePillDebate24/10/25 07:39 PM
2

But they literally are. The single women are way closer in contentment to the single men because they’ve found meaning and happiness outside of relationships and sex, which men can’t seem to do as frequently.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/10/25 07:35 PM
2

20-30 years ago it was unimaginable that emotional and romantically oriented women could possibly leave men behind. They have. It doesn’t seem probable that men would undergo a massive shift, but I do think it’s possible.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/10/25 06:58 PM
2

Tates, ER, etc. are so clearly deeply DEEPLY insecure and crave validation. Like if you're not hypnotized it's glaringly obvious. It's impossible for me to lead by example because I'm conventionally attractive and successful, and had no trouble finding a good woman to marry and have kids with. But that doesn't matter; you don't need to have cancer to be an oncologist. I know what I see, and the solution is glaringly obvious.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/10/25 04:13 PM
4

"The issue though is that for a lot of men, they’re getting no romantic or sexual experiences to fulfill their desires." "Because it’s better to have some than have none at all." And that's their problem. Women are winning the gender war because they've made peace with the possibility of not only not getting what they want, but not getting even a poor facsimile; men haven't been able to do that. It is ABSOLUTELY better to get none and focus on learning to enjoy and find value in other aspects of…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/10/25 04:08 PM
5

Someone down thread asked "how do we get men to this point, as a collective?" and I think this is part of it. A huge amount of male pressure to be in relationships and receive female approval/attention is mediated by the regard other men have for men who are successful with women (not necessarily directly, can be indirect as jealousy).
/r/PurplePillDebate24/10/25 03:24 PM
4

Ah, gotcha. I was very confused haha.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/10/25 02:57 PM
4

6’0 and married with kids. Also, used to work in a behavioral neuroscience lab, so I’m not talking out my ass like OP is. Do you have any idea how fast neural signaling happens?
/r/PurplePillDebate24/10/25 02:27 PM
4

I don’t think men desire women any more or less than women desire men. I think men are more willing to lower their standards to avoid being alone emotionally or unfulfilled sexually than women are.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/10/25 01:55 PM
16

The same way women have decided, collectively, that they’d rather maintain standards and be alone than be with a man who disappoints them. Men need to decide they’d rather hold high standards and go sexually unfulfilled. The tricky part is that women made that choice, and continued to make themselves desirable to men. Men need to have those standards, then continue to hold themselves to a standard as well even if meeting that standard doesn’t result in sexual fulfillment. I meet so many guys, es…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/10/25 01:37 PM
6

Lmao no way. Given the speed of neural signaling, a foot of height difference is negligible. OP is off their rocker.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/10/25 12:16 PM
18

Sex is far more than just visual, especially if you don’t have porn and social media induced dopamine sickness.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/10/25 11:31 AM
–

Agree with OP, and unpopular opinion here, but I think there would be close to full parity in the dating market and the male loneliness epidemic would be erased if men, collectively, just got better at managing and channeling their libidos and more specifically were just less thirsty. Swipe more selectively. Don’t pay for OF. Don’t give attractive women special treatment. Don’t give unattractive women poor treatment or apathy. Men could fix this whole thing in the span of a generation.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/10/25 11:29 AM
27

Successful men disdain poor men far more than women disdain poor men.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/10/25 02:01 AM
25

“For example, a man wearing tight compression shorts without a cover-up that clearly outlines his groin would instantly attract disgust or accusations of being inappropriate” I’m a distance runner and this kind of shorts is popular. Tight enough you can see every line of my anatomy. It’s all I wear to the gym since I go right I run. Never been an issue, no complaints from anyone.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/10/25 08:27 PM
57

I’ve noticed a lot of young men in particular seem to want to impose their values on women they want, rather than ask themselves whether women who already share their values are desirable to them. Really gets the noggin joggin’.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/10/25 01:02 PM
14

Being physically fit with a 150k a year job is not average lmao are you insane? Even in a high COL area you’re going to be comfortable (not luxury obviously but comfortable) on 150k as a young single male. Most other places 150k as a young guy is very good. Will you get a model? No. But you’ll get a conventionally attractive women who takes care of herself and has a good personality. I swear, unattractive women are way more invisible to men than most men realize, and the “mid” girl you probably …
/r/PurplePillDebate22/10/25 12:33 PM
–

Yes. But you seem to have a pathological need for it. These things exist in shades, not a binary.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/10/25 02:42 PM
–

Picking up on the barest social context clues =/= reading minds.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/10/25 02:02 PM
–

That sounds like classic Peter Pan syndrome, and is likely a much larger reason your male peers don't respect you and why women don't desire you.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/10/25 02:01 PM
–

Because you sound desperate for external affirmation, and that's always going to be seen as dweeby.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/10/25 02:00 PM
3

It's not the promiscuity itself, it's what it implies. I think that a promiscuous woman who is honest, self aware, and was intentional in her promiscuity (as opposed to compensating or self-medicating, as many promiscuous people of both sexes often are) is a perfectly fine mate for the vast majority of men.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/10/25 09:10 PM
–

Empathy is trying to look at someone else's life from their perspective. If I were living your life, I'd be working VERY hard to reframe the value of friendship, considering what you currently want is and will always be inaccessible to you.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/10/25 08:29 PM
–

"I don't want a relationship. I just want sex and arm candy so other men won't make fun of me for being a sexless loser." Protip: they'd still make fun of you even if you started having sex.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/10/25 08:27 PM
–

"It's just that it's always the old and unattractive women who try and talk to me." Those are some of my favorite people to talk to. If you can't find someone interesting to talk to unless they're sexually stimulating to you, I don't know what to tell you.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/10/25 08:25 PM
–

"I don't talk to women at all unless I have to at work. So how can they know I feel that way specifically about them?" Lmao who's gonna tell him?
/r/PurplePillDebate20/10/25 08:24 PM
–

"Do you think cavemen and cave women were interacting with each other for anything other than reproducing? Probably not." You're basing your entire strategy for interacting with half the population around a vague intuition with no evidence?
/r/PurplePillDebate20/10/25 07:57 PM
12

Got it. Then, to that I would say, "your decision to act morally should not predicate on whether or not moral behavior is rewarded. Morality is its own reward." Of course, you can tell me to stick it up my ass haha.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/10/25 08:59 PM
2

Not as we typically romanticize it, no. It was the window dressing that made class oppression, religious violence, and oppression of women palatable to the sensibilities of the class doing the oppressing. It was codified cognitive dissonance.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/10/25 08:12 PM
13

If I'm understanding your question, it could be reworded as: "Men don't trust women because some women are bad faith actors. If men won't trust me regardless of whether I act in good or bad faith, why act in good faith?" Is that a reasonable rewording of your question?
/r/PurplePillDebate18/10/25 08:08 PM
6

Chivalry wasn’t a universal code of benevolence toward women — or anyone, really. It was a feudal and military code that applied mainly to elite male warriors and governed how they treated other nobles, not commoners or women in general. Knights were often violent enforcers, not protectors. The Church later tried to moralize their behavior, promoting ideals like “protecting the weak” and “honoring women,” but in practice, chivalry was selective, class-based, and rarely upheld outside of noble ci…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/10/25 08:07 PM
10

Can you be more specific about what you mean when you say "get treated shitty like the other women?" I think you'll get better engagement that way.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/10/25 07:45 PM
10

I think OP’s point is when you make money exploiting the mentally ill, you’re playing with fire.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/10/25 11:49 AM
6

Usually western men arguing for Sharia think that by eliminating casual sex and imposing physical modesty, they'll suddenly have tons of sexual opportunities because women will have no other choice. They couldn't be more wrong. The women will still flock to the top quality men, but instead of doing so in a casual "hoe phase" and then settling down with a guy who may or may not have been able to enjoy being a part of that culture, they'll be literally locked into one of those earlier guys (e.g., …
/r/PurplePillDebate17/10/25 08:17 PM
1

Just like only the top X% of men can get casual sex now. Except a woman that has a bunch of casual sex can still be someone else's wife later and then that man gets to have sex with her. In Sharia, men can literally hoard women like property.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/10/25 08:11 PM
7

Sharia allows for up to 4 wives for a man who can afford them. If anything, I think you'd be looking at even worse odds of getting a woman than you are in western society. Assuming by benefit you mean sexually, specifically. It's not like Arab men are having a ton of sex.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/10/25 07:52 PM
1

No, OP is asking people to consider a potentially logical outcome of their philosophy. The degree to which that is vs. is not the outcome people espousing these ideals would want is fertile territory for fleshing out nuance in that perspective.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/10/25 07:50 PM
9

I am BEGGING you to think very hard about what it says about you, that you can reconcile something being against your own morals, yet also be something you consider a benefit. Think especially hard about what does and does not constitute a benefit in your mind. If I find a dollar on the ground, it's a benefit. If I steal a dollar, the dollar ceases to be a benefit to me by definition, because the morality of how the dollar was acquired is a greater devaluation to me than the valuation of the dol…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/10/25 07:46 PM
12

"I'm specifically speaking to men who are anti-slut." Literally first sentence of OP.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/10/25 07:42 PM
3

I don’t think men realize how much vetting women do of a potential guy, and how far having women as friends goes towards making a woman feel safe. If you only have men as friends you HAVE to be the chad archetype - dating is exponentially easier when you have lots of women as friends.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/10/25 01:24 PM
3

3 and 4 carry more weight, each, than the other parts of that list combined. The “fishbowl effect” is well established, where a man with a romantic partner is seen as more desirable to other women. What a lot of single men don’t seem to realize is that this works almost as well if you just have a lot of women as friends. It’s pre-screening. It’s vetting. Women want to feel safe with a man. If you have a lot of women as friends, other women will feel safe with you. If you have no women as friends…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/10/25 01:18 PM
16

I’m 38 and my current job has me interacting a lot with guys 10-15 years younger than me, and it’s utterly wild to me how anti-fun many of them are.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/10/25 01:10 PM
9

I think you could make a pretty cogent argument for a number of other things, including, but not limited to, the massive reduction in infant mortality, the massive reduction in maternal death rate, the massive reduction in global starvation, the massive reduction in global infectious diseases, massive reduction in global poverty…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/10/25 12:23 PM
2

Are you unfamiliar with the concept of a tangent?
/r/PurplePillDebate17/10/25 11:28 AM
1

I responded to a comment that referred to getting fat and happy in old age.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/10/25 11:14 AM
1

I told you why in my prior post. I’ve worked with elderly people. “Fat and happy” is, in old, so rare it’s practically an oxymoron. Culturally, it’s taboo to imply that being fat can lead to unhappiness for any reason other than bullying. And that’s simply not a medical reality.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/10/25 11:04 AM
1

Absolutely reasonable to not want to feel like your body is under a lens in a relationship (or in general) and I was particular with my language of “without making it your life.” But I’m not really missing the point so much as going on a tangent.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/10/25 10:32 AM
0

I’m neither missing nor avoiding it. I’m going off on a tangent.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/10/25 10:30 AM
6

I would like to gently suggest that rather than looking forward to getting old and fat with someone, you consider looking forward to getting old and maintaining as much fitness as possible without making it your life. As someone who has spent significant time working with the elderly, I cannot emphasize enough how not enjoyable life is when you're old and fat compared to when you're old and fit.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/10/25 01:21 AM
12

Whether intentionally or not, you bring up an interesting point. My wife posts somewhat frequently about the things I do for her and our family. I rarely if ever post about things she does for me and our family. That's not a function of not caring; I just don't post on social media in general (including about myself), while she does. Interestingly, when I post anything related to myself I get maybe a half dozen likes (usually half of which are from my wife, my mom, my sister, and my aunt); when …
/r/PurplePillDebate17/10/25 01:15 AM
1

Man 1 picks woman 1 for sure, man 2 honestly probably picks woman 1 as well. Woman 1 is less likely to cheat, less likely to have a drastic change in personality in 5 years, and will make a better partner rather than a set piece.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/10/25 11:58 PM
-8

"but I have had maintenance sex (sex that I didn't really want to have just to keep the guy around), and it's hard to explain the feeling if you've never felt it yourself, but the feeling that this thing, which used to be/could be an intimate, bonding thing that you two do together, is now becoming a thing where your body is just being used by someone else, even if you like that someone else, is mentally draining. When someone is physically inside your body, and you just want to get it over with…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/10/25 06:01 PM
–

I think you're wrong about that last sentence. Do you personally know many women with a modest mental load, in relationships, who have a low libido? Esther Perel is great. I had heard the pedals analogy elsewhere. I think it's a fairly popular analogy, and I think it works fairly well. I'm skeptical of your concern that a woman with low mental load could still have no libido, because I know a lot of women with low mental load because their husbands pull their weight in the relationship, and thei…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/10/25 02:14 AM
–

Going back to my gas pedal and brake pedal analogy above, men's and women's libidos are simply different. Our gas pedal is feather sensitive, our brake pedal barely works. You don't have any flair so I don't know if you ascribe to any pills, but based on your posts here I'm going to assume redpill. And what I'm relaying to you pretty much exactly fits within the redpill narrative. The point being moot, because men in relationships with women who don't carry mental load aren't complaining about t…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/10/25 01:47 AM
–

Go through my post history and read what I posted about the woman’s sexuality as a gas pedal and brake pedal. Doing chores because you want sex is pressing on the brake pedal. Doing chores because you’re part of a team takes pressure off the brake pedal. Women aren’t stupid, they can sniff that shit out from a mile away. Motivation matters, it’s about the feeling of being part of a team, not the chore itself.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/10/25 06:58 PM
–

I tried to post this independently but didn’t understand how flair works here. I’m responding to your comment because I think it’s along the same vein. Libido isn’t a volume control going from 0-10. It’s a brake and a gas pedal. Plenty of married women are fully capable of their husbands revving their engine. But feeling emotionally ignored or being burdened with mental load is an anchor on the brake. They leave their men, the brake is now off, and the perfectly functional gas pedal can now oper…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/10/25 02:56 PM
–

Probably for the same reasons people tell men “don’t stick your dick in crazy” and said men proceed to stick their dicks in crazy.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/10/25 02:52 PM
–

That only seems like good advice if the man assumes preemptively that he’s going to become child-like.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/10/25 02:50 PM
4

“It doesn’t appear to be niche or fringe.” There’s a wide range between niche/fringe and normative. Also TikTok demographics don’t reflect societal demographics. I’d go to far as to say social media consumers trend young and poor, both demographics that will view relationships more transactionally.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/10/25 12:24 PM
1

Two old assumptions were the nobility of masculinity and the innocence of femininity. Women are winning the gender war because loss of innocence pales in comparison to loss of nobility to a neutral eye. Women are never going to be expected to become as innocent as they were once presumed to be, but men are being expected to become as noble as they were once presumed to be, and it’s pretty difficult to argue that that’s unreasonable. ETA: if women were to return to innocence, men would have to re…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/10/25 11:23 AM
1

I think part of the gap in perspective between you and that other person is in "attractive." Is "attractive" a binary, you either are or you aren't? Or is it a scale, with "not attractive enough," "attractive enough," "really super attractive," etc.? If the latter, then the guys who are attractive enough to be a quickie will have to be higher on the scale, whereas men who you date may meet some lower threshold of "attractive enough for it not to be a barrier to date them" because they have other…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/10/25 02:41 PM
1

Ironically, I'd imagine for most women the exact opposite is true. There are tons of guys here with toxic attitudes and personalities, with repugnant behavior. But, if they were hot, they're still exactly the type of guy a woman would hook up with but not date... his personality doesn't matter, it's just sex.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/10/25 02:36 PM
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That’s all agreeable. How do we get there? ETA: I’m a married father of two. Conventionally attractive and financially successful, as is my wife. I do well enough professionally that my family lives a very comfortable life, but I’d make far more if I worked in for-profit instead of public health. I’m all about putting community first. But I’ve had every reason to feel warmth towards society, and I am acutely aware that most men do not. So that’s the thrust of my question.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/01/25 12:55 AM
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Sounds like a good argument for making sure men feel motivated to plants trees regardless of whether they’ll sit beneath their shade. How do you propose we as a society do that?
/r/PurplePillDebate05/01/25 12:48 AM
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“We live in a society.” “A person abandoned by their village will let the village burn just to feel warmth.” There’s living in society and existing in society. Guess which one more and more men feel like they’re doing?
/r/PurplePillDebate05/01/25 12:00 AM
9

Best advice I ever got about women was “women want to be with a man that other men want to be. The path to women’s desire is through other men’s respect.” I think that’s a bit overstated and puffy but it does get an important idea across. Many men think that socializing with women is some special primary skill, when just being social in general does 99% of the work. Women, it turns out, really are just people.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/01/25 05:11 PM
3

“Hey, do you know anyone who’s single right now? I’m enjoying being single but would rather be with someone right now. Will you let me know if you think of anyone?”
/r/PurplePillDebate16/03/23 12:24 AM
2

Meeting women through female friends who will vouch for your quality as a man is and has long been one of the most reliable way to meet women to date.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/03/23 09:47 PM
1

That is a regrettably shrinking portion of the population. I otherwise would concede on that point.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/12/21 07:31 PM
1

If you read OP’s article, in terms of how a majority of women apply selection criteria, it literally is.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/12/21 12:06 PM
2

Her poor kids…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/12/21 12:04 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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