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ZimBamBoodleOoo Archive

View 1 post and 20 comments by ZimBamBoodleOoo on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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Upvotes Title Category Author Subreddit Date (UTC)
32

ZimBamBoodleOoo/r/Divorce_Men25/12/21 12:11 AM
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
11

$850k in spousal support $250k in startup equity cash outs from prior employers. $110k in home equity $150k in IRA/401k splits $60k paid off her student loans before the divorce was final but after it wss started. Married 24 years. 3 kids all grown and out of the house. She asked for the divorce. I asked for counseling. My freedom is worth it. My mental health is worth it. My physical health is worth it. My emotional and relational health is worth it. Money can be made up. No amount of money is …
/r/Divorce_Men09/01/24 05:07 AM
8

It's just money. You can make more. Your life, your freedom, your mental health is worth more.
/r/Divorce_Men09/01/24 05:00 AM
5

She gets her % of whatever vested. The unvested are x% of 0.
/r/Divorce_Men31/08/22 09:32 PM
3

The clouds lift. The dread leaves. Coming home now is a relief, a sanctuary rather than entering a minefield.(I kept the house). Engaging in my hobbies (mountain biking) is a delight rather than an escape. Going out with my friends and support people is something I do without worrying about which version of my spouse i'll come home to. I can take a day off work and focus on me rather than spend all that mental health energy on fixing issues I didn't break. It gets better. Yeah, it sucks. It alwa…
/r/Divorce_Men29/08/22 02:05 PM
27

Was married for 24 years. Felt absolutely scraped raw and empty inside for many of those years. Divorced last year (I insisted on counseling, she asked for a divorce). Life is better. 100% No more dread. No more arguments. No more dealing with diagnosed and undiagnosed mental health issues. Kids grown so that was a huge help. Pros: freedom and very good mental health. Better focus on me, my health, my exercise/physique, my hobbies. Cons: $$$. Even though she works I am paying huge. Spousal suppo…
/r/Divorce_Men28/08/22 06:56 PM
3

This^ If you're married, the assets and the debts are both of yours. That means you can shut off the credit cards, take snapshots of your accounts today. Document all the subsequent expenditures. Put it in writing that you don't want either of you to deviate from your baseline budget. Look, man, it's just money. You can make more. Don't jeopardize your time which is limited or your honor which is yours to lose.
/r/Divorce_Men25/07/22 11:35 PM
3

Work To Defeat & Avoid The 4 Horsemen of doomed marriages. According to Gottman, the 4 Horsemen of doomed relationships are: Criticism, Contempt, Defensiveness & Stonewalling. These are marriage killers. Learn to recognize, preempt & kill these. My (47M) marriage of 24 years died slowly for many reasons and both of us had plenty of blame. But the presence of contempt, defensiveness, and criticism prevented reconciliation and restoration. (Stonewalling was never really a thing for either of us.) …
/r/Divorce_Men25/04/22 02:10 AM
1

Lol same! I've not figured out how to solve this. I make typical big portions and share with the neighbors.
/r/Divorce_Men20/04/22 04:19 PM
2

His name.is T.J.
/r/Divorce_Men25/12/21 04:54 PM
3

This is inspiring. Thank you! Happy Christmas!
/r/Divorce_Men25/12/21 01:19 PM
1

Never heard of it.
/r/Divorce_Men25/12/21 05:21 AM
2

I appreciate this. Thank you for the encouragement and your willingness to speak your heart.
/r/Divorce_Men25/12/21 03:52 AM
4

This is a good reframe. Thankyou.
/r/Divorce_Men25/12/21 03:51 AM
2

I like this
/r/Divorce_Men25/12/21 03:28 AM
5

Brother I grew up in the faith and held on for 26+ years of marriage. I'm a PK, have a minor in apologetics, was daily in the Word ... The Divorce shook me to the core of my soul. Don't know what I believe anymore, but I promise to keep an open mind and open heart, as damaged as it is rn...
/r/Divorce_Men25/12/21 03:21 AM
6

I feel you, brother. Merry Christmas from an internet stranger who can relate a bit.
/r/Divorce_Men25/12/21 03:08 AM
25

First, it's ok to remember and enjoy the good times. Don't ever let anyone (especially yourself) make you feel guilty or like you're doing something wrong for remembering and even longing for the "way it was". Those are real feelings and feelings are information. 23 years is a long time. Of *course* there were good - even great times together! Be thankful and grateful for those times. They were real. You weren't duped or hypnotized or manipulated into believing that those times were good. They w…
/r/Divorce_Men01/11/21 03:20 AM
1

This is exactly my plan.
/r/Divorce_Men25/10/21 06:28 PM
1

Your marriage and your divorce is a contract. That's all. Contracts can be negotiated, renegotiated, broken etc. Think of it like that. As long as you and your spouse are consenting adults of sound mind, you can make whatever agreement you want. The calculators are guidelines, not law. They give a sense of what the state thinks is "fair". Our mediator (not in NY) said, "I cannot give either of you legal counsel. I can give both of you legal information" Regarding maintenance (alimony/child suppo…
/r/Divorce_Men24/10/21 11:05 PM
2

I feel this. Divorce finalized last month. 25 years. First and only spouse. How I'm coping: 1) exercise. Just do it. It sucks. But it helps. 2) stay busy. I go all in at work and I am remodeling a room in my house. When that room is done, I will do another, then another. I'm improving my space and staying busy. 3) it sounds cheesy but practice gratitude. I practiced being grateful for the good times we had. The divorce sucks and it also is proof that we grew apart in different directions. I work…
/r/Divorce_Men20/10/21 06:50 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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