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Zselda Archive

View 4 posts and 46 comments by Zselda on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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2

Thanks.
/r/RedPillWives06/07/16 12:43 PM
1

Basically I just learned that he has a lot going on in his life with work and his ex wife and daughter. It had actually concerned me too. He says he won't date anyone and wants to fix himself because of all this. It honestly makes sense. It's just hard.
/r/RedPillWives05/07/16 12:37 AM
1

Maybe I'll read the wife book. It is a little repetitive. The message that I can't control many things is good though. If you read my other post the trust fear is also from much more recent relationships. The truth is much of the pain doesn't come out until I'm with someone. I've spent years working on it but at this time I'm also choosing to admit where I am weak and have struggled to heal. It is not a victim mentality only attempt at humility, as I used to pretend I was totally kickass better.…
/r/RedPillWives04/07/16 09:35 PM
1

Yeah. He was super into me and committed even before I was. I thought it was ok! Oh well. Now I'm protecting my heart, still putting myself out there...best I can do.
/r/RedPillWives04/07/16 09:31 PM
1

Aw thanks. :) I got those dimply cheeks too haha.
/r/RedPillWives04/06/16 05:09 PM
9

Baby face checking in. It's got perks and drawbacks. I attract protective men and look young and that's nice. I think people think of me as quirky or cartoonish easily and not take me seriously. It also attracts pedastaling guys that think I'm an angel until I'm not and then they get really mad. Everyone always makes fun of me when I'm surprised bc my eyes are really big. I can't help it.
/r/RedPillWives02/06/16 06:00 PM
2

Something major enough to break trust. I'll leave it at that. Please trust I know what I speak of.
/r/RedPillWomen20/05/16 03:06 PM
1

Because he lied about something. This aspect of his personality was not evident up front and he seemed great at first.
/r/RedPillWomen20/05/16 01:26 PM
1

Sigh, no I didn't talk more about my last BF because I was specifically referencing one trait that was new to me; I hadn't dated someone very built before. I like him because he was sweet, available, a good listener, there for me, funny, and many other things. I don't find every little thing disappointing, I only have problems with major red flags. I know I need to be in touch with myself that is why I posted. Thanks.
/r/RedPillWomen20/05/16 12:37 PM
1

That's not what happened.
/r/RedPillWomen20/05/16 12:34 PM
1

Encouraging...glad to learn about trust and beauty. I think what's getting me is as soon as I started the book, this guy showed up, all seemed ok, then it ended so badly. Now I want to close off again.
/r/RedPillWomen20/05/16 03:59 AM
2

Thanks...I do hope I'm going the right way.
/r/RedPillWomen20/05/16 03:58 AM
1

Many thanks.
/r/RedPillWomen20/05/16 03:57 AM
3

Oh so I should clarify, after I had the engagement ring it wasn't just loss of romance. The guy became cruel, verbally and emotionally attacking, and just plain scary to be around once he felt like he had me. It kind of warped my concept of marriage. Just subconsciously. The military thing is psychological too. He doesn't have to be a serviceman. But it goes back to my decorated veteran grandfather and some cousins. Grandpa was probably best positive male in my life at least in terms of respect …
/r/RedPillWomen20/05/16 03:57 AM
1

Oh cool, thank you!
/r/RedPillWomen18/05/16 08:12 PM
1

Thank you. I actually have no idea how to make flair. Yeah I'm trying to be surrendered single. But just had to break up a guy who treated me like a princess in a very good way, because I found out he lied. Feels like surrendering hurts. So, I am allowed to post for advice as a single woman?
/r/RedPillWomen18/05/16 07:47 PM
1

I am still new. Probably going to make an advice post soon. Not sure what flair I would ask for. I'm glad y'all are here... I'm 30 and single and kind of not loving it.
/r/RedPillWomen18/05/16 04:01 PM
4

Yeah, I'm just going to keep being natural like I usually do. You're right, and besides, it's too much work to try to live by a rigid rule anyway.
/r/RedPillWives26/04/16 10:43 PM
1

Yeah it definitely starts to feel like a chore. I think it is good to have a lot going on or not seem too eager, but more the spirit of the concept and not the letter.
/r/RedPillWives26/04/16 08:23 PM
1

Interesting. My intuition has told me not to rigidly adhere to this "rule" but the way they write made me doubt myself. Can you expand a little on your point?
/r/RedPillWives26/04/16 08:22 PM
5

I agree. The advice doesn't work like that IRL. Also when women decline sex immediately it's not to seem less sexy to the hypothetical next partner. It's because the man himself can lose respect if he got what he wanted easily.
/r/RedPillWomen17/04/16 03:14 PM
1

I've also experienced feminist women being very mean to me. I was told feminism was good as a child and couldn't figure out what was wrong with me that I didn't hate men.
/r/RedPillWomen17/04/16 03:03 PM
1

Late reply but I'm with the top comment of that link that it's a great thing to start cleaning up your act if necessary. It seems cynical to think that all those attempts at being more mature are fake and superficial. Some women don't plan to drop all of them once they marry.
/r/RedPillWomen17/04/16 03:02 PM
1

Yes. I continue to heal and grow. I choose to let it strengthen me in a feminine way instead of becoming bitter. And I'm glad I won't blindly rush into marriage as some of my peers do, who think divorce isn't all that bad. But it did make me a bit scared and that's why I seek guidance in various forms, also prayer and meditation, and community, to heal.
/r/RedPillWives04/04/16 02:50 PM
1

I never understood this. I don't even want to wear old baggy leggings when I'm alone because I feel like a lazy slob. I love my black and white satin pajama set with Asian inspired patterns on it, among other things. Home is a sanctuary, not a resignation from life.
/r/RedPillWives04/04/16 02:48 PM
3

I agree. Sometimes I lean too much in the GOLF direction so I have to check myself to be disciplined. But you can't get too rigid. Being a nanny taught me a lot. If you spill dinner you can't just start getting all tense and breaking down. Kids don't want to deal with that and they still need dinner. Have to say "whoa that was silly! Let's make a new fun dinner together" and move on...can be applied to so many situations.
/r/RedPillWives04/04/16 02:43 PM
2

"I have a serious concern about your lack of affection." That should work as well as when a guy with whom you declined a second date presents his manifesto on why you should actually like him and be attracted to him.
/r/RedPillWives04/04/16 02:35 PM
2

Seriously. Honestly that second picture should have had a talk bubble saying "teehee I'm so dumb!"
/r/RedPillWives04/04/16 02:16 PM
3

My faith doesn't believe in divorce; one of many things that led me to it. My parents' bitter divorce and father's subsequent divorce from his second wife were more than enough for me. It's made me very discerning with partners, though hopefully not too much. Last night I had a dream about his ex wife (not my mother) trying to record my father speaking at the dinner table hoping to catch him saying something bad to present in court. I wish I could say this was not based on reality. This is what …
/r/RedPillWives04/04/16 02:04 PM
5

Indeed. And I could be reading into this wrong--I'm not familiar with the source newspaper's slant--but did you think the photographs were a bit condescending as well? The bored millennial with the trendy feather duster up top. And the second one, with the girl whose mouth is wide open, seemed like they were mocking those who choose to stay home. She was portrayed as a dumb girl trying to avoid real work and just be silly with babies all day.
/r/RedPillWives04/04/16 02:00 PM
6

It isn't solipsistic to refer to the hundreds of women I've met in my life as there is no study out there proving who and who isn't bitter and cynical. I can see we don't agree about everything in the article. Perhaps we are surrounded by different groups.
/r/RedPillWives04/04/16 11:52 AM
5

Nowhere did I say the choice is obvious and natural, but I wanted to point it out as a choice, one that many come to realize as one of life's main lessons. I know women who have become jaded and not learned, but far too many who have stayed beautiful and feminine to believe that bitter misery is the default.
/r/RedPillWives04/04/16 11:33 AM
4

I see your point and generally agree but in no way was I fixating on physical pain; I also mentioned death of loved ones and putting aside the self to serve others, could have written more about tragedy and so forth but didn't want comment to get too long. And the way he wrote the article it made sweeping statements about women going through any pain at all, so that's what I was addressing.
/r/RedPillWives04/04/16 11:18 AM
5

Beautiful blessing you have in your mother's example of handling life. I think the general idea that women constantly exposed to typically male roles like CEO or military general, and also denying fertility and feminine nature, will wear them down and cause them to harden is true. The article just got solipsistic as you said. The bigger issue is when women respond in a masculine way to pain. Becoming a Byronic hero like Mr. Rochester doesn't look nearly as hot on a woman. But the author got a li…
/r/RedPillWives03/04/16 09:45 PM
1

Thanks.
/r/RedPillWomen03/04/16 09:39 PM
2

This makes a lot of sense. It's easy to oversimplify by assuming all women from Ukraine are perfect or what have you, seems like an easy solution. But it's fantasy as well.
/r/RedPillWomen03/04/16 06:30 PM
1

Yes, it's good to remember there are problems everywhere, no Utopias.
/r/RedPillWomen03/04/16 06:28 PM
1

I just liked the validation that some cultures haven't gone totally insane. But if you read the other comments here they are wise. Don't assume you are inferior inherently. Also remember American men can be as enamored with something as simple as an accent...just like American women. These men may be dazzled partly by the exotic foreignness of the women and nothing more.
/r/RedPillWomen03/04/16 06:27 PM
6

Some good things here but the concept that women cannot grow in femininity and beauty through pain is problematic. Plenty of women go through natural childbirth and become beautiful nature feminine mothers. They lose parents and relatives, and grow through it and still have faith, hope, and love for others. I think the author needs to more carefully explicate here. If a woman responds to pain with bitterness and cynicism, it causes issues. But pain is a natural part of life. A woman can still be…
/r/RedPillWives03/04/16 04:40 PM
2

I really just used it as a shortcut of communication. Many people I know aren't into pop culture but they take for granted that "boys are inferior" and so on. Even Christians I know. It's partly my location. I know what you mean though.
/r/RedPillWomen03/04/16 03:34 PM
2

Yes you have to be wise. A few generations ago being a housewife and SAHM was normal. Now in America it's considered a terrible wasteful thing. You basically have to whisper about it. Whenever job asks me where I see myself in five years I make something up because saying at home raising kids wouldn't fly too well!
/r/RedPillWomen03/04/16 03:32 PM
1

Yes, I think that is the kind of thing, maybe I am only seeking validation...I have ALWAYS been the girl who realized how much I can do not working at a downtown job, because I work a lot but doing other things, keeping house, cooking, as you mentioned, and I also do lots of creative projects. I am frustrated I still have to work right now :/ but that is life, maybe something will work out. I guess one thing that frustrates me is when I tell people I wouldn't necessarily work if I was at home ra…
/r/RedPillWomen03/04/16 03:16 AM
1

I love reading old fairy tales! They have beautiful lessons and archetypes and ideals. I love literature and I find them very beautiful and profound. Good idea.
/r/RedPillWomen03/04/16 03:14 AM
1

Yes, I am realizing that much of it is based on fantasy, these men wanting an easy solution since they only dated certain mainstream American women and are jaded and want to imagine this paradise of perfectly behaved beautiful ladies. I don't think I try to be contrived, but I should repeat as I said in another comment that I was also raised a little bit separate from the culture as much of my family came here in recent generations and as such often talk about the old country and all that, it is…
/r/RedPillWomen03/04/16 03:13 AM
2

I think it's best to be what's right for you, not what's right for the kind of man you wish to attract. Thank you, I needed to hear this. Very interesting perspective about how the ideal woman is in your location. I can see why that would be a turn off. For me though, with an upbringing rooted in Asian femininity but with some American influence of independence and assertiveness, has been attractive to the right kind of man for myself. This is a good point. I know I was raised with a slightly di…
/r/RedPillWomen03/04/16 03:09 AM
2

I think you are right. I don't know where you come from there but since I have relatives from there I realized I may be just identifying with it a bit since there is heritage for me. You are so right about the smiling. Actually, to be honest I was not raised to be super smiley myself and I have never been like that. I sort of smile more when it is genuine and I mean it, I know I have to smile at job interviews and things but I have never been comfortable just smiling too much at people I am not …
/r/RedPillWomen03/04/16 03:05 AM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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