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Fundamentals_-__-__-__-__-_-_-__/r/seduction06/01/21 01:46 AM
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
3

This is r/seduction, not r/cringe. What is the cellphone trick he’s talking about? That is the most needy, desperate, cringe shit I’ve ever heard. Using a stranger’s cellphone to call your own? Learn social calibration. I’m very happy to be called a feminist if it means calling out toxic masculinity. And part of toxic masculinity is the notion that the worth of a man is measured by his success with women. That’s reliance on external validation and it is the opposite of confidence. Again, asking …
/r/seduction10/02/21 05:29 PM
-4

It wasn’t even a failure. He was correct not to approach a stranger on the subway as a possible romantic partner because it was not the appropriate time or place. That’s borderline sexual harassment. I’m not saying it’s always wrong to talk to strangers or to hit on women in public places. I’m saying a socially calibrated, emotionally intelligent man does not hit on random women in public. He feels the vibe. He does not need to make millions of approaches. He only approaches when he feels like i…
/r/seduction10/02/21 05:14 PM
2

I’m gonna give you the opposite advice from most people. You did the right thing by not talking to her. You don’t have to talk to everyone or approach everyone. That is needy behavior, motivated by fear of missing out. If your gut instinct tells you now is not the time or place to approach someone, trust your gut instinct. You are a man who in control of his destiny. You approach women you desire, but you do it when and if you want. You do not need to ask out every woman like buckshot. Dating is…
/r/seduction10/02/21 05:03 PM
12

Ask men out. It’s not just about asking men out. It’s about being the kind of woman who would ask men out. The kind who doesn’t have those kinds of self-limiting beliefs. Who is woman enough to take rejection. The vast majority of women won’t. And that will give you an edge. You don’t have to actually do it. Just be the kind of woman who would.
/r/seduction08/02/21 11:56 AM
4

This sounds really complicated
/r/seduction03/02/21 04:53 AM
4

Non-neediness/outcome independence
/r/seduction02/02/21 07:49 PM
2

Social calibration
/r/seduction30/01/21 10:59 PM
6

Humor can be studied just like anything else.
/r/seduction30/01/21 10:57 PM
7

For some reason, the idea that a man can improve his chances with women with hard work and deliberate practice is like gaming the system. Like counting cards or something
/r/seduction26/01/21 07:08 PM
2

To quote Mark Manson: The only real dating advice is self-improvement. I don’t know why seduction gets such a bad rap. The fundamental concept of seduction is that you, through your words and actions, can influence how women react to you. I get that PUA have a bad reputation, but they, too, have studied human psychology and figured out patterns. That’s all. Every other dating sub or dating coach philosophy is based on the assumption that dating is a numbers game and that if you bang your head ag…
/r/seduction26/01/21 01:20 AM
0

I don’t like techniques, either. But studying them at least gives you a sense that you are in control of your own destiny and that your words and actions matter. Dating is NOT simply a numbers game. Your choices influence the outcome. You can’t make everyone fall in love with you, but you absolutely can influence and persuade people. You are responsible for how you present yourself! Really, “How to Win Friends and Influence People” should be considered the first PUA book. The basic principles ar…
/r/seduction25/01/21 11:56 AM
2

I’ve found this sub to be the only one that is honest and helpful when it comes to dating advice. Because seduction is not about picking up women, ultimately. It is about self-improvement. No other dating advice sub seems to actually realize that.
/r/seduction25/01/21 11:52 AM
1

Models, by Mark Manson
/r/seduction24/01/21 05:04 AM
2

I thought you said race didn’t matter
/r/seduction23/01/21 01:27 AM
1

Don’t be needy There are no other rules necessary
/r/seduction23/01/21 12:01 AM
28

“Which he has yet to fully properly utilize” is the neediest phrase I have ever read
/r/seduction22/01/21 11:59 PM
2

Bingo
/r/seduction21/01/21 11:37 AM
8

I think we need to talk about our childhood experiences as boys a lot more. They are the foundation of who we are as men. I’m Asian American and like a lot of Asian kids, I was bullied and made to feel less than and ostracized at times. It’s not a coincidence that so many Asian guys lack confidence. That was the point of the bullying
/r/seduction21/01/21 11:36 AM
1

Bingo
/r/seduction17/01/21 07:58 PM
2

Fucking incredible. You said it all right there. I've definitely done a lot of work on conquering self-limiting beliefs. I stereotyped myself as someone who wasn't good at talking to women, but gradually I've become more comfortable about it. Flirting, teasing, joking, those are the things I've been getting better at over the past year. It helps tremendously that, as a nurse, I work around a lot of cute young women, and the hospital is kinda like my playground. It's a given that I'm a kind-heart…
/r/seduction17/01/21 07:55 PM
1

I sincerely appreciate the thorough and well-thought-out response. I have a lot of life goals. It's funny you mention a degree in nursing, because I am a nurse. Would like to someday get a higher degree, but I'm focusing on being the best ICU nurse I can right now. I'm also a musician and have a lot of musical goals. COVID put a damper on some goals and enabled me to focus on others. Working on getting better at singing and playing piano right now. When things open back up, I have a lot of bands…
/r/seduction17/01/21 06:15 AM
1

Teach me, master
/r/seduction16/01/21 12:12 AM
2

That is really well said. Never make her the most important thing in your life.
/r/seduction15/01/21 07:08 PM
1

Oh, that is such a great saying. Perfectly explains what I'm trying to say. My Asian parents are always like, all you have to do is be nice to girls and they'll like you. That's a bunch of BS. Why are they so attracted to bad boys, then? Because bad boys are non-needy and nice guys are super needy. If you are nice to someone because you want them to like you, they can smell the neediness right away and it's a huge turn-off. The paradox of attraction is that you have to push people away sometimes…
/r/seduction15/01/21 07:05 PM
1

It's not about what you say or do--it's about your intentions. You can be an asshole to girls as part of teasing and being playful. Being super serious, overly formal, and nice/polite does nothing to make them attracted to you. That's what I've found out, at least
/r/seduction15/01/21 07:02 PM
2

Well said
/r/seduction15/01/21 07:01 PM
1

Good bot
/r/seduction15/01/21 07:00 PM
1

Yeah, I figured out through experience that teasing and being a dick to a girl actually makes her come back to you. It's called push-pull
/r/seduction15/01/21 07:00 PM
54

Yep. Non-neediness is what Mark Manson calls it. A much better term than confidence. You can be confident and still needy and approval-seeking. Truly being non-needy means you don’t live to please others. Only yourself. The age old question: Why do women like bad boys? Because they’re non-needy. Nice guys finish last.
/r/seduction06/01/21 03:02 AM
1

The biggest struggle is self-limiting beliefs. Not anything external.
/r/seduction04/01/21 11:00 PM
1

Tall women and short men have a special bond because of that. I know. It’s hard. I’m attracted to petite women myself, even when I know they’re not right for me. I have gone after taller women, though.
/r/seduction03/01/21 06:49 PM
1

I would guess about 5’5”. I definitely don’t believe what the media lists his height as. That’s an exaggeration. I mean, it’s ok that he’s short. I think musicians, actors, and other artists tend to be shorter because kids who develop physically earlier and are bigger tend to get tracked into athletic and physical pursuits, while physically smaller or late blooming kids tend to do artsy things. It’s really fine. One of the greatest artists of all time, Prince, was 5’2”. He was a star basketball …
/r/seduction03/01/21 06:46 PM
1

TIL Jason Statham is attractive to some people
/r/seduction03/01/21 06:21 PM
1

I appreciate that answer so much. Thank you so much for being in touch with your feelings enough to share insights on why you feel the way you do. Most people don’t know why they have the preferences they do. You can actually back it up! That is amazing. Short people build muscle and tone more easily. The flip side is, we also can gain weight very easily if we overeat because we don’t have a lot of room to put it! I hope I didn’t sound insecure about my height. I have learned to be content with …
/r/seduction03/01/21 06:16 PM
1

Justin Bieber is definitely not 5’9”.
/r/seduction03/01/21 06:00 PM
1

I should mention that Justin Bieber is below average height. I don’t know his exact height (the media exaggerates), but I can tell because I’m short, too. Yet, when I tell people he’s short, they are surprised. They don’t categorize him as a “short guy” because they overlook it and ignore that part. Maybe that’s what OP is saying
/r/seduction03/01/21 08:32 AM
1

As a short guy, I’m just wondering what you find appealing about guys shorter than you
/r/seduction03/01/21 08:29 AM
4

Wandering atrial pacemaker
/r/seduction30/12/20 08:45 PM
2

Neediness is unattractive. Pickup is by definition needy.
/r/seduction30/12/20 08:44 PM
3

Tolstoy
/r/seduction28/12/20 08:29 PM
1

I bet your parents hated you and your sister going on the trip
/r/seduction25/12/20 02:07 AM
4

Congratulations on the successful beginning. I know what it’s like to come from a repressive culture. You can’t change the culture. You can only change yourself.
/r/seduction25/12/20 02:00 AM
1

May I fertilize your egg in this trying time?
/r/seduction19/12/20 11:43 PM
17

It’s better to try and fail than never to try.
/r/seduction15/12/20 03:36 AM
1

Yep
/r/seduction14/12/20 05:24 AM
1

Love it
/r/seduction14/12/20 04:01 AM
3

Gone out with a few, but never got to the level of dating. I’m kinda new to all that. Just trying to learn. It is fun to work with so many pretty and smart women, though
/r/seduction14/12/20 01:49 AM
1

I’m very curious about what the deleted post said
/r/seduction14/12/20 01:20 AM
6

I’m a male nurse
/r/seduction14/12/20 01:19 AM
50

Well said!
/r/seduction14/12/20 01:19 AM
76

You cannot have an adventure from inside your room. Someone on Reddit said that to me once and I think about it all the time.
/r/seduction14/12/20 01:18 AM
13

Charisma!
/r/seduction11/12/20 06:36 PM
61

Non-needy is the word I like to use instead of alpha or confident. It gets to the point more clearly.
/r/seduction11/12/20 06:35 PM
14

Yes, I know what you are saying. You don’t have to keep asking
/r/seduction05/12/20 11:48 AM
2

Don’t base your self-worth on external factors
/r/seduction25/11/20 12:37 PM
29

We are going to party like it’s your birthday.
/r/seduction25/11/20 12:34 PM
7

Totally agree with your list of profiles to swipe left on! Which makes up like 90% of dating profiles
/r/seduction25/11/20 12:30 PM
1

That’s awesome. I have insecurities about being an older virgin and I’ve found that the close female friends I’ve trusted about this have been very supportive and have not liked me any less because of it
/r/seduction14/11/20 08:50 AM
1

I totally agree with what you were saying about being a dick. It’s not about what you say. It’s about your intentions. It’s about non-neediness. Mark Manson talks about this with the “can I pee in your butt” story in Models. Being a dick to girls in a playful way is fun
/r/seduction02/11/20 12:10 PM
1

It’s not impossible to stop caring. You do it by doing it. Choose to stop comparing yourself to others and choose to enjoy being single.
/r/seduction02/11/20 12:06 PM
1

You’re still being needy. You’re still expecting something in return for your niceness. You’re also strangely insecure about your looks, which is needy
/r/seduction02/11/20 12:01 PM
3

I’m an introvert and I’ve learned to get better at socializing. It’s a skill and you can get better through practice, just like any other skill. Notice I didn’t say I became an extrovert. I simply got better at a skill while staying true to who I am.
/r/seduction02/11/20 11:55 AM
1

There’s a whole book on non-neediness called Models
/r/seduction02/11/20 11:50 AM
5

What about being confident enough to be secure in your attractiveness no matter what you look like in a t-shirt?
/r/seduction28/10/20 09:00 PM
3

Keep your options open and have fun! A date who will engage in a little harmless, hands-off admiration of other women is a fun date. I’m sure she was in on the joke
/r/seduction25/10/20 01:12 PM
2

You shouldn’t focus on socializing or meeting people. You should focus on doing things to make yourself happy first. Then you’ll meet people. They will gravitate to you because you’ll be so happy just being yourself.
/r/seduction25/10/20 12:51 PM
1

Yay for women who don’t mind and are understanding with men who are inexperienced later in life!
/r/seduction25/10/20 12:49 PM
1

Everyone starts somewhere. I started dating deliberately for the first time at 34 earlier this year
/r/seduction25/10/20 12:48 PM
2

Yeah. Dating apps are a waste of time. Focus on making your real life exciting and enjoyable first.
/r/seduction25/10/20 12:40 PM
2

Don’t try to find a girlfriend. Focus on building an attractive lifestyle as a single person and focus on socializing with all kinds of people with no intention of dating. Do that first before you get into asking women out on dates and you’ll have that foundation of confidence
/r/seduction25/10/20 12:38 PM
1

I know. I’m 35m and a virgin. I could cry about it, or I could do something about it. I’ve been learning and doing so much this year. I have hope that I will find the right person soon. And hope is something I haven’t felt in a long time. Be kind to yourself. You don’t know what other people have been through. Everyone has their stories. I have mine. I don’t like it when people judge you for not having relationship experience. You know, friendship is a relationship. Work on being friends with al…
/r/seduction25/10/20 12:37 PM
6

Comparing yourself to others is needy
/r/seduction25/10/20 05:39 AM
2

You became non-needy by getting over fear of rejection
/r/seduction25/10/20 04:57 AM
2

I don’t give a damn about my reputation
/r/seduction25/10/20 04:53 AM
1

So awesome how non-needy you are and how effective it is at making friends. Outcome independence!
/r/seduction17/10/20 02:04 AM
5

It’s a really long story. I’ll just hit some highlights of specific things I’ve done this year: Asked out a crush. Did online dating. Went out on a few dates. Talked to a therapist. Read Models. Opened up socially at work and became comfortable talking to women. Went out on solo dates and adventures. This last part I think is the most important piece you may be missing. If a girl says yes, what are you gonna ask her out to do unless you have a fun and interesting lifestyle? Build up your lifesty…
/r/seduction04/10/20 02:21 PM
4

You’re taking the first step. I was just like you a year ago. I’ve made so much progress. Keep going!
/r/seduction04/10/20 11:20 AM
2

Thank you! I’m not very good at being anyone else
/r/seduction03/10/20 12:14 AM
3

This seems to come naturally to me. Unfortunately, it means I tend to treat every girl like my sister and while it’s great having so many female friends, I wish I could get a girlfriend
/r/seduction02/10/20 10:48 PM
3

Good bot
/r/seduction02/10/20 10:46 PM
13

Cute > model anyway. Facts
/r/seduction02/10/20 10:45 PM
2

To add onto that, creepiness is about intentions. It’s not about what you say. It’s about your intentions. If you come from a place of non-neediness, then you can say just about anything you want and not be creepy to most women. But it is inevitable that if you are being open and forward sexually (which you should be, since to hide your sexual desires would be dishonest), then you will occasionally come across as creepy. And that is totally fine. As long as you apologize and back off, you’ll be …
/r/seduction27/09/20 02:17 PM
3

Yeah, a little. My parents are Chinese and there’s definitely a cultural thing that’s stopping me. It feels really awkward and weird for me and I don’t know how to proceed.
/r/seduction25/09/20 09:31 AM
6

What’s crazy is I’ve had girls touch me like this, and it feels weird for me to reciprocate. There’s someone right now I’m thinking might be interested, but we work together and I’m just not sure what would happen if I made a move and things went bad. She’s touched me on the shoulder before and I get the feeling with her eye contact she might like me. She remembers things I’ve said, she and I have a special bond (she said that herself), we’ve bought each other little snacks, she seems pretty cur…
/r/seduction25/09/20 03:25 AM
7

I’ll try. I do like to play with and tease certain girls. I know this is the special ingredient I’m missing. I do like to be funny and make girls laugh, but when you haven’t had any success, it makes it confusing to know if it’s working.
/r/seduction25/09/20 02:00 AM
2

I don’t really know how to create sexual tension
/r/seduction24/09/20 11:55 PM
7

I’m the kind of guy who is kinda like this already and I have lots and lots of female friends. What do I do next?
/r/seduction24/09/20 11:06 PM
48

Don’t not be interesting
/r/seduction24/09/20 11:05 PM
1

We don’t have to do anything we don’t want to. That goes for men and women.
/r/seduction23/09/20 10:11 AM
4

Likewise. I assume a girl doesn’t want to go out again if she ghosts after the first contact or date. Effort has to be mutual.
/r/seduction23/09/20 02:08 AM
2

This is a fear most everyone has. But I’ve gotten a lot better over time. It takes practice, just like anything else. Talk to people and socialize with them without any expectations of romance. Talk to everyone. Young, old, anyone. Yes, you will feel a little extra nervous if it’s someone you find attractive, but through practice, it will be easier to calm those nerves. Shy and nervous girls are cute BTW
/r/seduction23/09/20 02:02 AM
9

I like this one
/r/seduction21/09/20 01:22 PM
2

<3 <3 <3 YOU are such a sweet person! I want you to be my little sister now
/r/seduction20/09/20 02:33 PM
3

That’s good! You should be spontaneous and funny. I bet you have so many friends
/r/seduction20/09/20 02:22 PM
3

Yeah, like that. You seem really cute :)
/r/seduction20/09/20 01:52 PM
19

I’m really attracted to cute and bubbly girls. The type of girl who is so interested in you and wants to know about you. If you want someone to like you, ask them questions about themselves. Everyone likes talking about themselves. And be optimistic and happy. That is super attractive
/r/seduction20/09/20 01:46 PM
2

No, it means you should go out and put advice and theory into practice and report back!
/r/seduction16/09/20 09:17 AM
11

Don’t let the perfect be the enemy of the good
/r/seduction16/09/20 09:17 AM
14

Just like any subject. Study and practice go hand in hand. That’s what I figured out I was doing wrong. I was asking for dating advice and reading a lot, but not until I got some experience interacting with women on that level and went out on some dates did I have something to reflect on and think about
/r/seduction16/09/20 09:16 AM
1

Be a man! Do the right thing!
/r/seduction16/09/20 02:03 AM
1

Animal Crossing is fucking awesome
/r/seduction15/09/20 09:25 AM
2

We all have inner struggles. After a lot of introspection, I’ve realized that my cultural background has a lot to do with mine. And I’m working on it. I went out yesterday with a cute white girl, btw. And culture was one of the things we talked about. It was fun.
/r/seduction14/09/20 12:52 PM
1

She has a girlfriend
/r/seduction11/09/20 06:50 PM
1

Thank you so much for the support. You are exactly right about my issues being inner game related. I have a lot of hangups about dating and relationships. I should also mention I’m a virgin who’s never had a girlfriend at 35. The girl I had the crush on (I say “had” but honestly, I’ll always have special feelings for her), one time we were playing around and she started rubbing herself on me and I froze. It was really nice, but it also made me uncomfortable. That girl has been a huge source of c…
/r/seduction11/09/20 03:22 PM
2

Thanks, man. I’m Asian American and the culture my parents came from makes it especially difficult for me to escalate. Always have been good at making friends with women, but touching them and advancing romantically is the main barrier to me. Asian culture is very emotionally repressed and very cold when it comes to affection and kissing/touching. Ever notice how Japanese people bow to each other without touching? So now that I’ve identified the problem, I know what to focus on. I know women lik…
/r/seduction11/09/20 03:01 PM
1

Sorry, I don’t know where that is. Do you have a link?
/r/seduction11/09/20 02:49 PM
3

Thanks. I’m trying. It’s hard to overcome cultural conditioning. I try to frame it like this: if I’m not pursuing women I’m attracted to, then I’m being dishonest with myself and then. Honesty is very important to me. So i should be honest about my desires.
/r/seduction11/09/20 12:08 PM
2

Escalating is the part I struggle with the most. Any recommendations on guides?
/r/seduction11/09/20 11:09 AM
5

Ok, this is the part I struggle with the most. Any book recommendations?
/r/seduction11/09/20 11:08 AM
30

This is a great way to make lots of female friends. I don’t know how this helps me with being more than friends, though
/r/seduction10/09/20 11:36 PM
1

DO NOT LIE ON ONLINE DATING.
/r/seduction10/09/20 01:10 PM
39

This is awesome. Very much in line with what I’m wanting to become. I’m sure you’ve read Models
/r/seduction08/09/20 07:38 PM
4

Did he actually get a girlfriend though
/r/seduction08/09/20 01:35 PM
1

Hey, that is great. Keep it up. Remember, don’t worry about outcomes. Whatever happens is just a pleasant surprise. And if girls reject you, just move on.
/r/seduction05/09/20 11:31 PM
16

Relaxing and being your dorky self will get you further with girls than anything else. Also, being genuinely enthusiastic about the things you like. May I ask what some recent successes have been?
/r/seduction05/09/20 02:02 PM
14

Thanks for your thoughts. I’m a 35M virgin and you inspire me. Models is my Bible. I definitely agree with what you said about women being emotional instead of logical
/r/seduction04/09/20 11:20 AM
1

I think I’m easy to be with. I’m friends with lots of people. Girls like to be my friend and only my friend
/r/seduction02/09/20 01:11 AM
1

I’m glad that cold approach is working for you and helping you get over your fear of talking to strangers and experiencing rejection. I just don’t see how this is a viable way of building a relationship. You have nothing in common with these women other than being in the same place at the same time. Your interest in them is purely based on looks. How is that not incredibly shallow? I think it’s better to form connections and build your social circle rather than approach lots of random women in p…
/r/seduction31/08/20 03:38 AM
1

Sighhhhhh
/r/seduction29/08/20 04:26 AM
0

I’ll try to be a little more relaxed and tease her a little about her guitar playing. She was saying she just started playing again for the first time in years. Maybe I’ll ask her to show me her calluses. Tease her about it
/r/seduction22/08/20 01:33 AM
1

Ok, I’ll try to just play it cool. It’s hard for me to hide it if I like someone, though. What do I do to make her attracted to me instead of like me as a friend?
/r/seduction22/08/20 01:16 AM
1

I’ll keep those things in mind. Thank you. If you don’t mind giving me one more tip, there is a girl I think I like, but I’m not sure if she likes me. I’m kinda testing her right now. We were talking about music. She plays guitar and I play piano. I said I’d play a song for her if she’d play a song for me. And I posted it to Facebook. She didn’t post one yet, but she said she would... I’m a little anxious that maybe I like her and she doesn’t like me... sorry, I know it’s not good to be too inve…
/r/seduction22/08/20 12:51 AM
1

Yeah, but since the man is expected to initiate, how do I escalate sexually? I’ve never done it, so it intimidates me
/r/seduction21/08/20 11:47 PM
4

I’ve heard this a lot, but I don’t know how. I’m a virgin and I feel awkward about it. I do make sexual jokes sometimes. Is that ok? What else do you suggest?
/r/seduction21/08/20 09:08 PM
24

Thank you. This is one of those things I don’t know how to do yet I don’t know how to treat a girl differently than a friend. I’m trying to learn
/r/seduction21/08/20 06:04 PM
1

Ask him questions about himself
/r/seduction19/08/20 03:43 PM
91

But if it is necessarily objectifying, then expressing sexual interest in a healthy way does necessitate a certain level of objectification, i.e. saying a person is hot is objectifying. I’d argue this isn’t a negative thing as long as boundaries are respected.
/r/seduction19/08/20 03:37 PM
1

I am extremely socially oblivious
/r/seduction16/08/20 12:24 PM
4

Everyone’s tastes in women are different. Who is hot to you may not be hot to me. I’m also attracted to personalities and voices more than just looks. I also have a habit of fixating on one person and ignoring everyone else
/r/seduction15/08/20 01:03 PM
1

Could you talk more about how parenting influences approach anxiety? I feel like the root of my problems is my Asian parents and the way they raised me. I feel like trying to date and talk to women is going against my every instinct that I was with. I was extremely sheltered and overprotected. It makes it extremely difficult.
/r/seduction15/08/20 07:55 AM
2

It’s a very special experience. Make sure you watch it on a nice big screen with very good speakers.
/r/seduction15/08/20 06:34 AM
2

Yes! Keanu Reeves is the GOAT
/r/seduction15/08/20 01:56 AM
2

It’s my second favorite movie. My #1 favorite came out the same year. Guess what it is
/r/seduction14/08/20 11:17 PM
2

Is your name an Office Space reference?
/r/seduction14/08/20 03:00 PM
2

Good bot
/r/seduction14/08/20 12:02 AM
0

Bros before hoes
/r/seduction13/08/20 09:28 PM
16

You’re trash, Brock
/r/seduction13/08/20 09:28 PM
4

I feel like I’m swimming upstream against 2000 years of Confucian values sometimes. Going against my ancestral culture and my parents in order to be social and date women. It doesn’t come naturally to me. Asian culture is based on arranged marriage and dating in the modern Western sense isn’t really a thing. Focusing on education and career instead of social skills is the most important thing because it’s your status that matters in terms of getting married, not your seduction skills. It’s also …
/r/seduction13/08/20 01:47 PM
2

You’re probably not Italian from Italy. Culture is everything
/r/seduction13/08/20 12:37 PM
9

The original Latins were in what is now Italy. Latin men have a culture that meshes very well with pickup artist concepts. Asian men (I am one) have a culture that is quite the opposite
/r/seduction13/08/20 12:36 PM
2

What a fucking creep. I don’t need validation from women that badly. Sure, I could learn to be more confident and direct, but I believe in being honest, sincere, and humble. The right kind of women will recognize my qualities.
/r/seduction13/08/20 12:32 PM
0

Thanks for lots of great advice! I think I want a girlfriend. And I agree with what you’re saying about dating apps. They’re depressing and make me feel like shit. I’m going to focus on my social circles and participating in more activities when things open up again
/r/seduction13/08/20 01:10 AM
13

Don’t live your life for women
/r/seduction13/08/20 12:58 AM
7

Engage!
/r/seduction12/08/20 12:23 PM
18

What if your life isn't an epic adventure, though
/r/seduction12/08/20 12:07 PM
2

I want affection more than anything else. Hugs, kisses, gifts, pet names, words of affirmation
/r/seduction10/08/20 02:02 AM
-1

It’s biology. Males play offense. Females play defense. Most males will not reproduce. It’s a fact
/r/seduction09/08/20 11:52 PM
2

Be attractive Don’t be unattractive
/r/seduction09/08/20 07:26 PM
7

This is a common fear. What matters most is your intentions. Women are very forgiving of mistakes if your intentions are good. You can say a nice thing in a creepy way if your intentions are bad. And you can say a creepy thing in a nice way if the context is right and your intentions are good. In fact, I’d say that the act of putting yourself out there and expressing sexual interest is itself a kinda creepy thing to attempt. BUT, it’s worth doing and learning from your mistakes. Make mistakes. L…
/r/seduction09/08/20 10:48 AM
1

It’s really hard for me to let go of worrying about outcomes. But you are absolutely right. It is key to living a life without regret
/r/seduction09/08/20 03:30 AM
1

Inner game!
/r/seduction09/08/20 01:34 AM
0

Women are more focused on emotions and relationships, whereas men are more focused on things and concepts
/r/seduction08/08/20 05:26 PM
2

There is no way to avoid coming across as creepy sometimes. Mark Manson says in Models that it’s inevitable that any man who is being forward and direct and honest will at times come across as creepy, and that’s just unavoidable. What matters most is your intentions. Women have a sixth sense about intentions. You can say offensive, sexual things and get away with it if your intentions are good. It’s a very subtle thing and requires a lot of social calibration. I’ve messed up before. You mess up,…
/r/seduction08/08/20 05:22 PM
3

Thank you for this advice
/r/seduction08/08/20 05:02 PM
0

It’s better to compliment a woman you just met on something other than her looks
/r/seduction06/08/20 12:48 PM
2

Thank you so much for this. I’ve been thinking a lot about these themes of giving without expectations and expressing oneself sincerely.
/r/seduction06/08/20 12:44 PM
10

Honestly, I think we worry too much about saying the right things. Whether someone finds us attractive is based on much, much more than the words we say. What I mean is, a large part of it is out of our control. We can’t really make someone like us. All we can do is make our interest known and let them decide if they will take our offer or not. That also means that if they reject us, we shouldn’t beat ourselves up about it. We always worry that it’s our fault when it really isn’t.
/r/seduction04/08/20 01:43 PM
11

Focus on making friends with women of all ages regardless of attraction.
/r/seduction02/08/20 03:19 AM
1

I will literally break out in a sweat when I’m around my crush sometimes and my mind will go completely blank
/r/seduction01/08/20 07:34 PM
1

And everything about how they raise their kids to be socially inept nerds is meant to preserve their virginity
/r/seduction01/08/20 12:18 AM
3

It drives me so crazy that traditional parents want you to do well in school/career but not do well socially. They want you to just stay at home and never talk to anyone and suddenly you’re supposed to get married but you’ve never had a girlfriend before.
/r/seduction31/07/20 08:22 PM
7

I’m an Asian guy and I know what it’s like to come from a strict culture. My advice to you is to find hobbies and social groups to be a member of. Don’t worry about getting a girlfriend at first. Make your life active and busy and interesting first. That means going against what your parents say about focusing on school and work to the exclusion of social activities. You should focus less on school and work and more on social activities. That goes against the traditional Asian way, but believe m…
/r/seduction31/07/20 08:09 PM
3

It’s even more important for you to escalate and break the touch barrier. Ray Charles would feel a woman’s wrist as a way to find out if she was pretty. But I think it also works as a way to find out if she’s interested.
/r/seduction31/07/20 10:42 AM
6

Here’s one someone told me recently: What did one ass cheek say to the other? If we stick together, we can keep this shit between us!
/r/seduction31/07/20 10:26 AM
0

Dirty jokes
/r/seduction31/07/20 10:23 AM
2

Congratulations! Looks like your hard work is paying off. And most of the work you did was to improve your inner game, which is what really counts
/r/seduction31/07/20 10:21 AM
23

Yeah, it makes me cringe to hear about guys asking out literally hundreds of women they don’t even know to get a single date
/r/seduction30/07/20 02:58 PM
1

Thank you
/r/seduction30/07/20 02:57 PM
1

Nice
/r/seduction27/07/20 09:08 AM
1

TLDR
/r/seduction26/07/20 03:48 PM
3

Rejection is a good thing.
/r/seduction26/07/20 11:30 AM
0

I don’t believe in leagues
/r/seduction26/07/20 02:17 AM
18

But do put a mask on in public
/r/seduction25/07/20 03:52 PM
1

I would be so seduced if a girl sent me hilarious stuff. Inside jokes, references to things we had seen and done together, etc.
/r/seduction24/07/20 08:09 PM
1

Rejection is good. It’s how you sort out who’s right for you from who’s wrong for you. Mark Manson said that in one of his books
/r/seduction22/07/20 01:03 AM
1

Nice
/r/seduction22/07/20 12:55 AM
20

Best bet is to keep your wits about you and continue to look for signs
/r/seduction20/07/20 02:29 PM
25

Yeah, your answer sounds a lot more accurate to my experience. Women have given me mixed signals all my life and I’ve been too afraid to act on them for the most part. If women were obvious and direct, maybe I would have had a girlfriend by now. The onus is on men to take the initiative in pretty much every instance in pretty much every culture around the world.
/r/seduction20/07/20 10:36 AM
12

Yeah, it’s called chemistry
/r/seduction20/07/20 10:33 AM
0

Thank you
/r/seduction20/07/20 10:32 AM
66

Again, you can’t really tell
/r/seduction20/07/20 10:32 AM
3

I’ve only ever been confused for 35 years :(
/r/seduction20/07/20 10:31 AM
3

I mean, I would hope she’d be hotter than me
/r/seduction19/07/20 08:11 PM
0

I can’t imagine how hard it must be in a country like that. I’m here in the US thinking I have it hard as an Asian guy
/r/seduction19/07/20 12:39 AM
0

Thanks for the chess analogy. Now it’s starting to make sense why men have to initiate
/r/seduction16/07/20 01:48 PM
1

Thanks for this
/r/seduction16/07/20 02:08 AM
10

I put on my robe and wizard hat
/r/seduction13/07/20 05:43 PM
3

And I actually like and respect women so it feels gross and scummy to me to think of manipulating them with “one weird trick” or something like that
/r/seduction13/07/20 12:50 AM
7

Yeah, and I have a hard time remembering the 20 step pickup artist plans
/r/seduction13/07/20 12:45 AM
18

I love how this is an idea based on valuing a woman as a person instead of the kinds of things I often see where you’re supposed to trick her into liking you.
/r/seduction13/07/20 12:40 AM
1

Wonderful post. Wish my friends at r/virgin read this
/r/seduction13/07/20 12:36 AM
1

This video is 17 minutes long. Can someone just post a summary?
/r/seduction12/07/20 03:43 AM
2

Chiming in to say I need help with this as well
/r/seduction11/07/20 05:32 PM
2

Truer words have never been spoken. I’ve been through this
/r/seduction11/07/20 02:12 PM
0

Could you tell us more about what exactly the IOIs were?
/r/seduction11/07/20 02:10 PM
-1

Probably should keep it a secret. But follow your happiness
/r/seduction10/07/20 07:48 PM
2

Agreed. Vulnerability is honesty is seduction
/r/seduction10/07/20 02:01 AM
1

What I care about more than what you’ve done with your life is WHY you chose the things you chose and what it says about you. I have a coworker/friend who I have a huge crush on. I find her endlessly fascinating. I’m always wanting to know more about her and she won’t tell me everything. She said it herself, it’s good to keep the mystery. She has given me little insights, though. She has a passion for rock climbing and I asked her why she likes it so much. She says when she’s climbing, she can t…
/r/seduction10/07/20 01:56 AM
24

Fantastic summary
/r/seduction09/07/20 03:12 AM
1

Thanks for the tips. A lot of points reminded me of mistakes I’ve made
/r/seduction06/07/20 09:09 PM
1

I second the importance of not repressing feelings. It will fuck you up
/r/seduction04/07/20 07:37 PM
1

Sorry. I’ve been there myself. She doesn’t like you in the same way and there’s nothing you can do to change that. I do think you should be open and honest about your feelings, but then you have to move on. Sometimes this means ending the friendship, although not every time. I know how hard it is to move on from someone you truly have feelings for. I’m working on that myself. Give her some space and try to meet other people.
/r/seduction04/07/20 05:58 PM
7

Indian women are so gorgeous
/r/seduction04/07/20 02:28 PM
3

As a 5’3” Chinese American virgin who has never had a girlfriend, this gives me so much hope What you’re saying about culture is at the heart of this. If your parents are immigrants (mine are), they most likely raised you with all kinds of messages and values and it just so happens that those messages and values make your self-image and your social skills vastly different from those of the mainstream. You can call it a lack of confidence, but it’s much more than that. It goes deeper than that. A…
/r/seduction04/07/20 02:26 PM
0

Practice
/r/seduction03/07/20 01:20 PM
3

Embrace rejection. Really. Rejection is good. It lets us know who isn’t good enough for us
/r/seduction02/07/20 12:55 PM
5

Anything where you take care of people. Volunteering. Maybe volunteering to take care of elderly people?
/r/seduction30/06/20 03:10 PM
3

Own it. I’ve found that not trying to play any games and just being yourself will get you deeper connections with women than any lines or techniques. Open up and tell them you’re shy and you’re worried about being creepy
/r/seduction30/06/20 01:39 PM
99

This makes so much more sense than PUA techniques with all the steps and terminology. Those techniques seem dishonest and manipulative to me. The only real technique that works is honesty. I like how you think. What you said about vulnerability is very much in line with what Mark Manson writes in Models.
/r/seduction30/06/20 05:14 AM
1

I’m Chinese American, born and raised in the United States, and I was raised to be a good Chinese boy and to focus on education/career and to put dating/relationships on the backburner. I was raised to stay a virgin until marriage. This isn’t just something I’ve been told to do, but the way Asian guys are raised to treat women basically ensures that we stay virgins later and it’s frustrating. I am just starting to figure out how to date at age 34 and having to overcome a lot of traditional Chine…
/r/seduction30/06/20 03:25 AM
4

Those are good tips to keep in mind. I’ve never been good at hiding my feelings
/r/seduction30/06/20 03:03 AM
10

Why do you write like this? Write normally
/r/seduction29/06/20 05:38 PM
4

Why don’t you focus on making friends and finding a girlfriend first? I would if I were your age.
/r/seduction29/06/20 08:38 AM
2

Yeah, but you’re tall and fit I’m working on the fitness part, but any tips for a 5’3” Chinese American guy?
/r/seduction29/06/20 01:24 AM
1

I have no idea how to broadcast a sexual vibe
/r/seduction27/06/20 12:32 AM
2

Ok, I’ll keep that in mind. Just live my life and be my charming self and not worry about getting someone. I’ve made a lot of pretty female friends this way. I just get anxious about not having a girlfriend. But you know, I really think it will happen as long as I keep doing what I’m doing and putting myself out there
/r/seduction27/06/20 12:31 AM
2

Hey, could you tell me more about how to be friends with a woman you’re attracted to? This is hard for me
/r/seduction26/06/20 02:33 AM
0

That sounds like way too many steps to memorize
/r/seduction26/06/20 02:28 AM
9

I get it. If men are non-needy and don’t care about the outcome, then you’re more receptive to getting to know them. I’ll keep that in mind.
/r/seduction26/06/20 02:27 AM
1

There is an interesting paradox about approaching women that I’m not quite sure how to resolve. On the one hand, women should be respected and left alone. Women shouldn’t be seen as potential targets for dating just because they’re in public. On the other hand, if you never approach women, if you never treat them as anything more than friends, then you will never get a girlfriend. It’s confusing and I don’t quite know how to deal with this paradox
/r/seduction26/06/20 02:25 AM
2

I actually read that book recently. I remember that. I guess I just don't know how to get into social contexts in which I even have a chance to do things like that.
/r/seduction26/06/20 12:09 AM
3

I don't cold approach women, ever
/r/seduction26/06/20 12:08 AM
8

I get your point about not objectifying women. But how do you let her know you’re interested in her sexually unless you flirt with her? If you treat every woman like your platonic friend, all you will ever have are platonic friends.
/r/seduction25/06/20 10:11 PM
1

Thanks for the support. I will continue to practice. I should mention that I’m a straight male nurse so I’m surrounded by a lot of beautiful young women at work who are all my friends. It is really fun to play with them. I try to use that to build my social XP
/r/seduction25/06/20 10:09 PM
1

I have been working on being more open and spontaneous lately. It’s just something I’m not used to doing and it doesn’t come naturally to me.
/r/seduction25/06/20 09:41 PM
2

I haven’t directly asked them in that way, but many friends have encouraged me to do two things (which I am doing): See a therapist Do online dating The main reason for my lack of dating skill is my lack of dating experience. I grew up sheltered by Asian immigrant parents. I’m trying really hard to figure this stuff out at age 34 when I feel like many of my peers started at age 14. I’m trying. I need all the help I can get
/r/seduction25/06/20 09:40 PM
5

I’m already in the friend zone by the time I try to escalate. I don’t really know how to escalate, either. Please explain
/r/seduction25/06/20 07:45 PM
18

I am really good at being friends with women. I have always had lots and lots of female friends. This advice is fantastic for being friends with women. The problem is being more than friends. I have never had a girlfriend and I don’t know how to do that part.
/r/seduction25/06/20 07:40 PM
2

Yes! I lived with self-limiting beliefs for a long time. I saw all these messages about how dating was so impossibly difficult for short Asian men and it killed my self-confidence for a long time. I also had messages from my conservative Asian immigrant parents about focusing on school and work and putting off dating, so that compounded my reluctance to even try. And I also had a traumatic experience with love in my teenage years that I didn’t make an effort to resolve until recently. But I’m ch…
/r/seduction23/06/20 05:12 PM
12

Hey, I'm a 5'3" Chinese American. My advice to you is be outcome independent. Do not care about what happens. Just talk to girls with absolutely no expectation of any particular outcome. Whatever happens, happens. That is how you eliminate neediness.
/r/seduction23/06/20 02:31 PM
2

I have fun playing around with and teasing my female friends. It’s good practice to interact with women and see how different personalities respond to different things you say and do
/r/seduction19/06/20 04:16 PM
4

Hey, great job. Remember not to worry about the outcome. And just enjoy talking to pretty girls. There is nothing wrong with making a friend even if she doesn’t want to date you. I seem to be really good at making friends with pretty girls. It’s the being more than friends that I haven’t accomplished yet. But I try not to be anxious about it and focus on how much progress I’ve made
/r/seduction19/06/20 02:28 AM
6

I feel the same way
/r/seduction11/06/20 01:11 PM
1

I’m content with masturbation. Truly. I don’t need to have sex with a woman to be happy. I’d like to, but I truly don’t need to. I joke about sexual stuff with that girl I like all the time. And I’ve joked about how I like her sexually, too. She’s not interested. But she still likes to flirt. And that’s enough for me. I’m happy. She’s a dear friend and I do like her in that way, but just because I can’t fuck her, doesn’t mean we can’t do other stuff. We banter and tease and things like that. We …
/r/seduction04/06/20 07:31 PM
2

But just because you can’t fuck her, does that mean your friendship is useless? I try to be content with what I have and not to want more. Unhappiness comes from wanting what you can’t have.
/r/seduction04/06/20 03:38 PM
1

I get what you’re saying about focusing on being a father. And not having time for being just friends with women when you really want to have sex with them. I’m at a different stage in life where I’ve never had a girlfriend before and I’m just starting to figure out dating and relationships. It has been helpful for me to interact with my female friends and learn about navigating a friendship without the pressure of a dating or sexual relationship. I do want to have sex, but I try not to be anxio…
/r/seduction04/06/20 02:52 PM
3

Totally disagree with your conclusion. I’ve always had lots of female friends and many of them I’ve been attracted to physically. I’ve found that being open and honest about attraction goes a long way. There is nothing wrong or shameful about being attracted to someone. What matters is what you do about it. I have a story very similar to yours. I have a friend at work. I’ve asked her out before. She knows I like her. But she has a girlfriend. We are still friends and care about each other. We te…
/r/seduction04/06/20 01:44 PM
5

Be confident that the other wants you, and not needy. I really like this. I would also add, don't be anxious about outcomes. I'm guilty of this myself. When I like someone, I really want to be closer and this has been a turnoff at times. I get overly enthusiastic and needy. If she likes me, then I don't have to worry about making her like me. Just have to worry about not fucking it up
/r/seduction13/05/20 06:28 PM
8

I'm a guy and I love erotic stories
/r/seduction13/05/20 06:25 PM
2

Thank you! I am not trying to fuck a lot of women. I just want to have a romantic relationship with one.
/r/seduction12/05/20 10:25 PM
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