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a-perpetual-novice Archive

View 0 posts and 133 comments by a-perpetual-novice on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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1

Because the spectrum goes insecure (neuroticism) <-> secure <-> insecure (stoicism or bullying). The opposite of one type of insecure isn't necessarily security, it's the opposite type of insecurity that is masculine coded.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/03/26 08:05 AM
1

This person was talking about the general discourse, yet you re-pasted your own comment. Why?
/r/PurplePillDebate18/03/26 07:53 AM
2

Homebody extroverts Or they are on Reddit and other social media talking to folks. Or online games, video calls, etc.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/02/26 10:43 PM
8

There are people who were good in bed but I didn't want a serious relationship, since the whole point of a hookup was avoiding those when I had a busy life. So if "not into him" means don't want a long term relationship, then yeah. But if "not into him" means no longer wanting sex, not so much. I could see me losing interest due to outside reasons if it were a stranger, maybe, but all of my past hookups were with long term friends so I knew them well already. Sorry if my experience isn't relevan…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/12/25 12:51 AM
2

I think that's a strange argument. It can be true that people sometimes don't even see people they aren't attracted to, but looks are far more immediately observable than personality. If you walked down a street, I may have noticed only 50% of men's looks but probably less than 10% of their personalities because it takes more attention and time to observe and interpret mannerisms.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/11/25 03:33 PM
–

Unlike others responding, I have approached. I am non-traditional and an overly confident flirt, so approaching doesn't bother me. I approach people who are my "type". I wouldn't say that's "punching up" or the most attractive, but because I have a very specific type and it's rare to find (especially in my region). If there's a African American (I'm also black) male who weighs between 250-350lbs, has at least some muscle tone amongst the fat, also works in tech or another white collar job, and l…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/10/25 08:52 PM
3

But to me, that is what OP invited by the way it was posted. By choosing a debate sub and writing a detailed argument, he has invited people to analyze and critique those details. It is on the person making the argument to make sure it is airtight. Again, I find this to be a weird mismatch that can be better solved with how the idea is presented. Overly detailed monologues (although this particular one wasn't that long or bad) with little to no qualifiers presented in argumentation form in a deb…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/09/25 05:31 AM
1

That's fair. I think this may differ from how many people use the term colloquially. Sometimes I think it's mostly referenced by emotionally reactive people who like to pretend that's a good trait to have. I spent a lot of time researching and discussing cognitive empathy to folks who self-labeled as empaths but seemed to dismiss perspectives they don't align with from their empathy. But I personally have no desire to wrestle the term back and prefer to just receive it as other people wish to us…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/09/25 05:13 AM
5

I'm in agreement with all involved but my comment was to you specifically. I wanted to educate about universal statements and how this is different from an analogy and examined differently. I find that men on Reddit unfortunately get put societally in a position where what they want is sympathy, but they seek it via attempts at logic and debate. I personally think being more vulnerable about wanting sympathy works better but I don't experience life as a man. At least I can use my experience as a…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/09/25 04:41 AM
3

I actually agree with this, again, with nuance. Anyone who jumps immediately to that serial killer is a monster isn't that empathetic. But I still think it's nuanced. If you are judgemental 2% of the time even when you can acknowledge that things aren't truly black and white, are you disqualified from the term "empathetic"? If so, who actually qualifies for this term at all?
/r/PurplePillDebate10/09/25 04:31 AM
6

This comment? So in a conversation about sympathy for men you saw it fit to draw an analogy to terrorists. The bias writes itself. You can't make this shit up. There were only three sentences and the last two weren't claims, just reactions. What'd I miss?
/r/PurplePillDebate10/09/25 04:28 AM
3

Look, I agree loosely with your general premise that people who empathize with a select group of people aren't really all that empathetic. And that certainly means that folks who aren't empathetic to men as a category aren't empathetic. But I don't think that you have to be empathetic to 100% of people to be considered empathetic. That is what the comment was trying to quantify. What percentage? Do serial killers count? Etc.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/09/25 04:24 AM
8

It's not an analogy, it's that an extreme statement (i.e., you must emphasize with absolutely everyone to be considered empathetic) is easily disproven (or in this case, examined) with a single counterexample. It is pretty customary in both formal logic and math to use an extreme example for these because (a) it should be easier to recognize that it is not universal and (b) to point out the absurdity of the original claim.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/09/25 04:13 AM
3

But few people care about the utilitarian total harm caused, most people care about the harm to them as an individual. Even if the attractive bad boys can hurt more exes, that doesn't at all speak to how much harm each may cause in the current relationship.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/08/25 02:05 PM
1

Maybe it's personality difference. I definitely don't feel the need to correct people who are blatantly and confidently wrong (unless there's a potential for a misunderstanding, like in your example). People are wrong all of the time. Life would be far too draining to correct people who aren't showing curiosity (which describes anyone generalizing others with a broad brush), even if there's no penalty.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/07/25 08:14 PM
2

Why would silence imply agreement? Why wouldn't they just write them off as crazy and move on?
/r/PurplePillDebate15/07/25 07:54 PM
-1

Sounds like a misinterpretation issue. The question was implicitly asking "do you believe women who claim to speak on behalf of other women?" not "has a woman literally attempted to speak on behalf of all other women before?".
/r/PurplePillDebate15/07/25 07:45 PM
1

I think people* need to be more comfortable when people get annoyed at them. I get annoyed at people all of the time, so it genuinely doesn't hurt my feelings too much if others feel the same about me even for illogical reasons. (Especially for illogical reasons!) So yes, be confident, but yes, people will be annoyed by you existing. It happens.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/07/25 06:16 PM
5

Why on earth would a conversation have to be about deeper topics to be authentic? I love sports, my job, my spouse, general topics! I am just as authentic when I talk about those things as I am philosophy. Are you sure you aren't just depressed?
/r/PurplePillDebate16/06/25 05:53 AM
5

Even if there are baselines, things are buyer's beware anyway. Basic CYA (cover your ass) or trust but verify approach to life. I think both exclusivity and non-exclusivity would benefit from being verbalized. Everyone just communicate early and often. People get mad and feel wronged even when they are only a victim of their own projections and assumptions. Or maybe they feel like there's a "should" that others don't. You don't have an obligation to, but I would think that makes you a bad or at …
/r/PurplePillDebate12/06/25 12:10 AM
–

The funny thing is that many here are mostly trying to communicate the same thing to the PPD guys here. They are also introverted and often socially-stunted outliers and their experience shouldn't be taken as that of the average man.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/05/25 01:12 PM
4

Not all of the time, of course. No one is sympathetic to every person for every reason. This is a perfect example of where you decided to reply in a way that reduces your chances of receiving sympathy from me and more conversation from me (because why accuse strangers you want sympathy from), but maybe in an effort to express your anger or get kudos from guys that are similarly angry. It's all a tradeoff.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/05/25 06:23 PM
2

Oh, yeah, I totally agree that there's no right answer for men. I personally think the generalized, "society should do this" approach has a lower chance of garnering sympathy, but it comes at a risk of more hurt when rejected. The choice of which one to do is individual.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/05/25 04:03 PM
6

Thanks! Yeah, I truly feel bad for the men on these subs. There is so much pain and trauma. But they are in a rough spot -- expressing those feelings vulnerably is less socially acceptable for them, but the way they do express it (feigning logic, generalized statements) just makes others less sympathetic to them. I do think they would get better responses and more support if expressing hurt more vulnerably, but it makes the rejection even harder when it's not well accepted (which will absolutely…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/05/25 03:52 PM
13

I think the answer is actually similar to what we witness on this sub. The trauma or sadness often comes from feeling an overwhelming pressure from society / others that is daunting. I don't know the thread you're referencing, but it sounds like she may be crying now because she feels like it's still expected of her to sleep with guys when she isn't authentically into it in certain conditions or social situations. That specific encounter is just a reminder of it. Not that she is forced, but just…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/05/25 03:22 PM
1

Sure. Overly political to my taste in partner. I am fairly middle class, highly impacted by the current administration (work in academia), and certainly advocate voting and even supporting political causes financially and with activism, but I limit my participation to what I can actually change.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/04/25 08:26 PM
43

I don't mind dating someone who disagree with how modern feminists are marketed or portrayed or what they perceive their goals to be, but I don't want to date anyone who whines about other groups in general. That goes for people who are overly political, etc. So if they say that in one sentence -- fine. If they are on the internet or worse, in person, whining often -- not so much.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/04/25 09:28 AM
4

Maybe it's because of my chosen sports of track & field, CrossFit, and rowing, but men wear spandex shorts that show the outline of their penis all of the time. It's fine.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/25 01:53 PM
2

I'm sorry that you are in this situation and struggling with this topic, truly. One aspect is how uncomfortable it is being around nervous or shy people even in platonic contexts. It's unfortunate, but that energy can make the other people around them feel nervous and responsible for the mood (which takes away the space for mutualness). For sex specifically, it's even harder because even the experienced person has some nervousness, so many seek someone more confident. The exceptions that come to…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/03/25 06:13 PM
1

I imagine having a very specific type makes it different? Because I do experience visceral attraction for pretty much every 300-400lb nerdy black man over 5'8" who has social skills that I meet. But I see a lot less percentage-wise in the Pacific Northwest than other parts of the US.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/03/25 02:07 AM
5

I mean, "modern art" refers to pieces that have been created as early as the 1860s. What's so wrong with using modern relationship to refer to dynamics that are just a handful of decades old?
/r/PurplePillDebate13/03/25 03:26 PM
1

You don't need to be in a romantic relationship to buy a house together. If you want some legal protection similar to the split of marital assets, there are probably some standardized agreements out there that can be notarized and legally binding.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/03/25 02:55 PM
3

I think it's a matter of conditional probability and OP has a valid question. In these conversations, let's not conflate (a) the probability of a random attractive vs average guy mistreating an arbitrary woman with (b) the conditional probability of an attractive vs average guy mistreating the woman they have already found attractive and compatible enough to express romantic interest in or LTRed. I think (b) is more relevant and the only people concerned with (a) are either having zero success i…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/02/25 11:24 PM
9

Yes. Of course I do! I want the best match for a job / romantic partner I can get so I still do as extensive search any time I'm going to make a choice.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/02/25 04:25 AM
3

Yeah, I didn't have the imagination that others had. Turns out I definitely have limits -- toys clearly meant to represent children, dangerously sadistic items, and probably a few others I haven't thought of. However, adult sex dolls are fine even if I find them a little cringe (especially if it lives in the closet most of the time).
/r/PurplePillDebate20/02/25 02:25 PM
2

I would, but I have many friends who wouldn't. I will admit that even I have specific looks and strength preferences in what I consider masculine, but I see sex as a hedonistic free-for-all. Whatever feels best, I'm all for.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/02/25 11:23 PM
49

I actively like when men use sex toys. I want my dude to have the best and take an active role in their pleasure as opposed to 100% relying on me for everything.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/02/25 08:55 PM
1

I say this as a systemizer and programmer and statistician myself, why on earth would these achievements make you a better romantic partner? It's not as if there aren't artists, lawyers, and business people who are empathizers. Plus, you don't need to date that person to enjoy their contributions to society, thankfully.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/02/25 06:10 PM
1

I'm sorry that it fucked you up. I'll say that I am like your ex and did the same unsolicited high detail explanations to my now husband, which also hurt him. I did not do it on purpose. Just a truly "honesty is the best policy" person who doesn't really experience jealousy nor anxiety, loves oversharing, and didn't realize how it could affect my partner.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/01/25 08:17 AM
3

I mean, people who take accountability (even if sometimes too much) are widely respected over those who blame others. So, yes.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/01/25 03:29 PM
–

Having sex with someone you aren't attracted to is zero sum, but why do you think men being better in bed would come at said men's expense? I don't see how these two are comparable.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/01/25 04:52 PM
–

I don't mind this take, even as a woman with a fairly high libido. It feels fairly accurate that men have more lust, or at very least, experience it more often due to a wider variety of people who spark it. But I think there are more palatable ways to embrace and discuss your lust than directing it towards the person sparking it. That's why close friendships are important and why the self-isolation that so many men find themselves spiraling into makes this even worse.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/01/25 06:08 PM
1

Women are overrepresented among Borderline Personality Disorder patients. Does that mean there's some sort of bias against men? Not the person you were discussing with, but yes. Biased doesn't mean purposely malicious, just that there are some mediating factors that are not accounted for and the treatment is applied non-uniformly to different groups. Some clinical and many casual indicators for BPD tend to be about how people express emotion and attach to others. Society (and maybe nature/hormon…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/01/25 06:47 AM
–

Glowing personality right here, that's for sure.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/12/24 04:32 AM
-3

I don't really feel like blowing up your point, but you should definitely look into Nate Robinson if you are young enough to not see him play. Perfect example of someone exactly 5'9" who made up for that in impressive skills.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/12/24 04:36 AM
1

Background: I (33F) am in a 11 year monogamous relationship with now husband (38M), but have had a 3 year open/poly relationship in college. My ex engaged in other relationships (poly). I was 100% allowed to but didn't really engage outside of heavy flirting and some dates and one short fling (open) because people exhaust me. If your partner ever had a desire to sleep with another person other than yourself, would you wish to know, or prefer they never told you? I would very much want to know an…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/12/24 04:25 AM
17

Thank you! You worded this so succinctly. If I had a dollar for every time someone confuses a single piece of empirical evidence with logic, mostly on Reddit but even at work. Even the programmers (but oddly enough, never the statisticians) I work with get this wrong.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/12/24 08:22 PM
2

Maybe, but "doing it for X" is indeed a statement about intentions. by doing it you kind of internalise what it represents By doing it, you may receive some of the results of those with different intentions,but that in no way makes you internalize it. It may make you even less likely to want to do it since it has unwanted effects that you weren't seeking.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/12/24 08:58 AM
4

Thanks for the kind words! Yes, there are folks who are into this. I'm happily married and had an okay time dating before that as well.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/12/24 08:51 AM
10

While I'm not the most trendy woman -- I don't wear makeup, my only social media is for my research, and I am overweight -- I used to get told I'm dressing up for guys (dresses, sometimes cleavage) when I never was. It was mostly because that was what looked trendy and I saw those outfits and liked them. I do think I liked looking "cool", but it was perhaps even more for other women and my friends than men. I'm sure that won't convince you, but that's fine too.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/12/24 08:25 AM
13

Honestly, as someone who is naked all of the time, it does desensitize you to their naked body and can make sexual nakedness less exciting.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/12/24 08:45 PM
2

I (now married 30sF) never sought mass appeal. I was picky and have specific tastes and assumed men have similarly picky tastes. I myself have such a specific type that less than 5% of the male population would be a fit attraction-wise. So I expected that same specificity in men's preferences as well. I assumed a guy who likes big breasted goth women isn't into petite blond cheerleaders or lanky model types or muscular sporty women. So why try for mass appeal? I tried to find my type that matche…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/12/24 08:37 PM
2

I totally acknowledge that I'm indeed obese and not completely masculine looking (I have large breasts and wide hips). But I was a college shot put and hammer thrower and nationally ranked weightlifter 10 years ago, still with plenty of visible muscle in my upper body and quads. That's why I mentioned my lean body mass (a.k.a. bones plus muscle plus essential fat) was estimated at 175lbs which is larger just in stature than most regular dudes if they are short. I'm a pretty imposing figure to so…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/12/24 12:51 PM
0

I'm sorry you experienced that and according to your last sentences, still do. That does not at all match my experience as an obese woman but I have no doubt that it happens for others. I know I just got really lucky somehow.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/12/24 07:11 AM
2

I am a woman who has a lot of imposing and/or masculine features -- Black woman with huge traps from college sports and competitive weightlifting, moderately tall at 5'8", overweight now at 250lbs with a lean body mass of 175lbs (so more muscle than most), used to have my hair in a mohawk. Even still, I do not have the experiences you have with people treating you differently, but my husband (a 6'3" 350lb Black man with a resting grimace) has those same experiences so I totally believe you. I am…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/12/24 07:05 AM
–

Every answer to this is going to be generalized and cliche, but being desirable isn't something you can guarantee, but it's worthwhile (a) working toward what you consider your best self and (b) having a broad group of friends who will give you honest opinions and lots of socializing practice. It's totally fair to be worried about dating and what it takes to get a partner, I appreciate your vulnerability and non-argumentative question. Sorry that I (and likely no one else, especially on the Inte…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/11/24 12:59 AM
5

I'll answer since mine seems a little different to many other ladies' responses, even if still disappointing to OP. When I see a guy who is my type, I am magnetically drawn to them -- looking at them, striking up conversation, and when I was single, I'd ask for their number or find a way to see them again 70%+ of the time. But generally good looking guys -- even guys objectively more universally attractive -- I may notice, think "wow, that guy probably cleans up", and move on. But my type is so …
/r/PurplePillDebate13/11/24 04:41 PM
1

Based on the title, it sounds like the question is meant to be more of "to what extent do we think the current political environment may increase childless marriages", not just "will this trend increase when you combine all possible causes".
/r/PurplePillDebate13/11/24 02:02 AM
1

Is this with all types of male friends? I (female nerd) have friends who think they're good at socializing, but really they're only good at socializing with specific types of nerdy / computer science fellow people. Get them near jocks, blue collar guys, and others and they struggle. Which means their social skills need some improvement.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/10/24 09:46 PM
1

I consider myself pretty kind even to those who have hurt me (not wanting to follow my parent's petty divorce shenanigans), but the answer is probably that it depends on what they did during the marriage. Why not give yourself protection and you can gift them more money in the divorce by choice? Did they run up $300k in gambling debt or refuse to work for years? I would still want the best for them and their happiness, but not at my expense.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/10/24 09:45 PM
5

I'm sure some of this is the halo effect, but I do wish people talked about how being unattractive leads you to socializing less and sometimes antisocial thinking which people can perceive and consider a bad personality. But also, this chart seems suspiciously clean to me. Like, why aren't there any outliers at all here. Is this aggregated by user average score or something?
/r/PurplePillDebate13/10/24 03:15 AM
8

Count me in as someone who exclusively likes overweight men. The health concerns are concerning, yes, but I can't really find other body types sexually attractive.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/09/24 04:42 PM
2

I agree with your sentiment, but you are stating it quite rudely. Maybe because there are other rude people on this sub, maybe despite the truth of your statements you're truly a troll from the flip side. It seems like he genuinely doesn't know. If you aren't sure, as your first question implies, why not ask similar questions but in a kind way? EDIT: I see you were kinder in the earlier exchange, so maybe it was just exasperation. I'll still keep it up for my "troll from the flip side" joke.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/09/24 11:36 AM
3

I understand and respect your desire to do what's genuine. I realize I worded it as a "how to", but that's what naturally happens. If you're very eager to get into a romantic relationship and fall in love, you just want to finally experience it soon and building it naturally can feel like playing games. The timeline and progression I laid out are my view of the natural feelings most go through when falling in love with a specific person, not falling for the idea of love and being loved itself. I…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/09/24 11:23 AM
3

What you can express before dating to is excitement for the potential of a relationship. Such as "you seem great, I'd love to date and get to know you well". Keep that energy until you get into a romantic relationship. Then if and when you feel really close to them due to the experience of dating each other and then feeling accepted and you starting to accept them, you might naturally want to do romantic gestures -- cuddles, looking longingly into each other's eyes, saying things like "I really …
/r/PurplePillDebate13/09/24 10:36 AM
6

This is a common mistake, so no worries that you are confused. I do think you should update your post to make clear you are talking about declaration before getting in a romantic relationship -- most responses are referring to declarations after being together for a while. You get into a romantic relationship due to attraction and chemistry or deep mutual friendship that leads to dating and getting to know each other better. Only after months of dating should romantic feelings strong enough for …
/r/PurplePillDebate13/09/24 10:15 AM
2

Nah, it depends on how much time and emotional bandwidth you have. I'm a woman and there were many periods of my life where I was focused on college and/or work and simply was not interested in a full relationship. Casual doesn't mean unhealthy as long as you aren't using sex to prop up your self esteem or fill a hole (except for the obvious ones).
/r/PurplePillDebate11/09/24 09:07 PM
–

Just like last time, I intensely agree with the broad strokes but maybe with a slight tweak. My interpretation is that the divide isn't sluttiness/prudishness so much as maybe mainstream/counterculture. In college, I had a counterculture poly atheist friend group that I hung out with on occasion and they more fit your description -- they were a lot more welcoming and open to sharing that experience to people of all body types. But they certainly don't have the market on 'slutty'. But my athlete …
/r/PurplePillDebate20/08/24 11:32 PM
–

I like where you are going, but I have a different interpretation of the word "attraction". I think many people see "attractive" as not interested in fucking, but pretty to look at -- aesthetically pleasing like a painting. There is a very high bar for someone to be fuckable to me and that bar was basically just below the "I need you rn" level (<1% of men in my case) since I had enough interest from the folks that did fit in that category for me, so why fuck anyone who doesn't get me really goin…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/08/24 10:22 PM
–

Close to 1% or less, unfortunately. Literally only one person in my high school class of 300 (half being women, of course). Of all of the people I've seen in pictures or on the street, maybe I've been physically attracted to 10-20 men in total? And I'm a software engineer in a big city who games and does competitive weightlifting, I feel like I met tons of men who match my personality preferences. I don't think all women are as hardcore as I am, but I do suspect that many women have more options…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/08/24 09:51 PM
-1

Re-replying with non-participation link I totally understand and believe in the idea of marginal utility (what you mentioned about $50 for a rich person). So, of course compliments are more valuable to men who receive less than complimented women. I don't know if you read the full comment chain above, but this is the quote that I was basing my question from [emphasis mine]: To get a better idea imagine being hit on by gay men. First few times it would feel good but very quickly it would get bori…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/08/24 12:59 PM
-2

That's awesome man! I understand how a baseline of compliments matter, but for me, I get a decent amount of compliments and they just have such marginal utility for me at this point. Edit: So honest question, would Grindr be a helpful source of compliments for you?
/r/PurplePillDebate19/08/24 11:18 AM
2

I agree that's more straightforward and a more direct comparison, but I'm just digging further into the comparison established by someone else. The person I replied to didn't fully explain their reasoning so I'd like to hear it.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/08/24 04:22 AM
8

So you are a human being. Do you feel like compliments from gay men would contribute heavily to an abundance mindset for you after the novelty wears off? If so, I wonder if posting on Grindr might be the solution. Otherwise, why exactly is it different than getting compliments from people you are not attracted to for reasons outside of gender?
/r/PurplePillDebate19/08/24 01:01 AM
-1

For many guys, yeah, getting dates is the hardest part. So congrats on ending up in a relationship! 25% is very good to excellent rate to the point that I assume you are pretty normal and just unlucky in attracting women in the first place. I wish you luck!
/r/PurplePillDebate17/08/24 01:26 PM
3

I wouldn't interpret it that way at all. Single means not in a relationship in my conversations, not dateless. I have a particular guy friend who can get dates fine but can't really string it together for a whole relationship. My guess is it's because while he can be cool at a party / getting to know someone, his idea of getting close to someone is to blurt every trauma and insecurity out within 3 weeks of the first date. The women who like that end up being very needy people and he can't keep u…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/08/24 01:16 PM
1

My proposed "it now matters" threshold is when at least 5% of the population are found to hold a viewpoint in polls.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/08/24 12:02 PM
1

I think the key to much of the ire about lack of sexual attention is the fact that others around you are receiving that attention. OP, is the question about me individually not receiving sexual attention while others are? Or is it a situation where no one receives sexual attention. I think the feeling of being left out really changes the answer for some people. Personally, I guess I could go either way with a preference for #1. I don't rely a lot on external validation or looks and I did have un…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/08/24 08:40 PM
3

Could it be relief that she finally has people around that shares her interests or what she wanted to talk about in the moment? I guess I'm so used to code switching as a normal and accepted thing, not a sign of anything fake, just a result of people being multifaceted.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/08/24 05:12 PM
1

That's fair. I don't spend time at FDS, so I have no idea how the discourse looks there.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/08/24 02:37 PM
2

But wouldn't the commonality be people who participate in subreddits with extreme gender views? I don't see how this in any way says that they are FDS.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/08/24 02:28 PM
5

How do you distinguish between a woman who genuinely has many male-dominated hobbies or tomboy and a pick-me?
/r/PurplePillDebate02/08/24 01:53 PM
3

Something being amoral means that there is no moral judgment either way, so I would say yes the amount of attraction is an amoral issue. Because women can be attracted or not attracted to as few or many men as they want and it's not an issue of morality. If someone says it's immoral, they are arguing the opposite.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/07/24 05:34 PM
3

Amoral and immoral are different words, you may have misread.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/07/24 04:13 PM
1

Agree with everything you said. Good luck and I wish you the best!
/r/PurplePillDebate20/07/24 12:14 PM
1

Again, you are spot on with the goal at the end of the comment. Sadly, visceral attraction is a hard goal to meet, and certainly near universal visceral attraction from women is impossible. My unsubstantiated take is that even much of the lust for the Chris Hemsworths of the world may be performative (though I'm sure they also get plenty of genuine lust as well) and this doesn't follow straightforward rules. Calibrating to a "this person is very attracted to me even not if instantaneous and visc…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/07/24 11:52 AM
2

It's understandable why you might initially feel like a woman who shares this preference is lying. I fully acknowledge that some people do virtue signal, and more importantly, a much smaller percentage of women are into bigger men (especially bigger in this way) than those into conventionally sized men. So our natural tendency to generalize takes over and you assume that everyone is uninterested and lying. I think your last sentence exactly hits on what strategy I'd suggest if a friend expressed…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/07/24 10:39 AM
4

I really like fat on men. Not beer gut visceral fat, but jiggly outside fat on a guy between 250 and 350 pounds. I can't tell you how much I've watched this video and what it lights in me: https://www.youtube.com/shorts/3-RlRmYshCQ. Imagine that feeling of a soft boob but all over. Also love stretch marks on men, though maybe not surprising due to bigger guys. Personality wise, I'm a software engineer and love to date other engineers or economists. They tend to be nerdy and into games obnoxiousl…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/07/24 06:31 PM
7

"Stage 5 clinger", "bunny boiler", etc. Though I grant that these are older terms, even older than my generation. Maybe something has changed, or maybe the skill to detect desperate women is still there but it's not as talked about.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/07/24 01:26 PM
5

I have only seen two episodes, but in both cases the men who were the feature (so 10 ladies) started nice and normal during rejection started slinging insults by the 4th or 6th balloon pop. Is this a pattern you saw? How would you characterize the different ways the main dater handled rejection by gender and other characteristics?
/r/PurplePillDebate16/07/24 02:26 AM
1

Not interested in the relative belief between the two, but absolutely this same concern for overgeneralization applies to OP's original question as well. Both would be overgeneralizations if either you or OP are implying some belief applies to everyone. I didn't get that impression from the wording of OP (though it could be interpreted that way), but did from your comment due to the way it was worded (only slightly). Although it was implicit -- to me, what seemed like a surprised or slightly inc…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/06/24 07:25 PM
3

Right, but it seems like people overgeneralize and confuse "resonating with a lot of women" with "every woman feels this way". There are lots of things that are iconic that I don't assume resonates universally. I assume it's just teenagers not understanding statistics or that people are individual and vary wildly.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/06/24 06:51 PM
4

This was the cringiest quote from the Barbie movie. I'm a woman and most of my friends did not resonate at all.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/06/24 06:15 PM
5

Physically impossible? Why would someone screeching in your DMs make something feel impossible? People online (and even in person) complain about lots of stuff -- that doesn't have to affect you, though.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/05/24 03:45 PM
2

I have a bunch of close friends who are religious and want kids, I do not want kids nor am I religious but we are still compatible as friends (same hobbies, same career field, grew up in same area of country, went to same college).
/r/PurplePillDebate09/05/24 10:16 PM
1

You can certainly try asking it using context clues, but it's not 100%. I understand the conundrum and your frustration, but sometimes the answer is just "you'll turn some people off, that's life".
/r/PurplePillDebate04/04/24 12:30 AM
3

I bought groceries with and shared a used car with my roommate and best friend. I think it is just a matter of how close you are to your roommates and how long you've known them.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/04/24 05:28 AM
2

Yes, most of the time. I know that people resist this idea because it is "victim blaming", but someone who is in an abusive relationship is likely there in part because of their own low self-esteem, mental health issues, codependency, and blind spots that attracted them to that partner in the first place. Doesn't mean they deserve it, but yes, it would be exceedingly rare if that woman was also emotionally healthy.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/01/24 02:45 PM
15

Because they don't enjoy debate and instead enjoy shared perspectives.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/01/24 11:22 AM
2

Why would that be funny? People changing and losing compatibility sucks. Even the guys on here whine about the remote possibility in reverse all of the time.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/01/24 04:01 PM
4

There will be some guys and gals where it is undetectable, but late stage virginity is probably correlated with at least one of social awkwardness, lack of confidence, lack of practical knowledge about sexual situations, poor flirting, etc. Again, not everyone, but you would be surprised how easy it is to detect using secondary clues.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/12/23 04:01 AM
7

How would they be cheating if she doesn't date them in the first place?
/r/PurplePillDebate22/12/23 03:56 AM
2

I mean, a significant proportion of people especially in the US are raised by single parents. Some of whom never dated (or at least cohabitated) with a romantic partner again.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/12/23 03:52 PM
–

Is he a virgin because he purposely waited or lack of opportunity? The former probably wouldn't be a good match values-wise and the latter's frustration shouldn't be targeted at the wife.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/11/23 01:09 AM
0

I am a different person, but I sure as heck do! I hate it when someone who has a higher standard of cleaning thinks they can just pass on effort that they desire to be completed onto others. If you are the one to want it clean more often, you are the one to put the effort into cleaning, or at very least, installing systems to make it easier for everyone in the household to keep things clean.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/11/23 09:27 AM
-2

Or in a particularly nerdy field with similar friends?
/r/PurplePillDebate20/11/23 06:25 PM
2

I am a woman, earn more money (but we both make six figures), and do the outside work (cutting lawn, hedges, etc), anything that involves a ladder, electrical, painting, most woodworking until my husband got interested in it. Honestly it's just because he is afraid of heights, I like being handy, and it is easier work that can wait for the weekend since I'm busier than him during the week and unreliable frankly. Anything that has to be done regularly like cleaning is his. We split cooking now, b…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/11/23 05:09 AM
3

Wouldn't people who are bad at selling themselves would also struggle in their careers?
/r/PurplePillDebate15/11/23 10:28 PM
2

I have stated these are simple examples to help explain the math. But I am done. Good luck, man.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/10/23 03:03 AM
1

But that's the point. x% of 200 people split into two groups means that still x% of the first group and x% of the second (assuming uniformly distributed). So the answer would be still that 1-3% of men just like the overall population.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/10/23 02:57 AM
1

I agree with this statement, which is similar to what I wrote. The first comment I reaponded to said 1-3% of all people would translate to 0.5-1.5% of men.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/10/23 02:53 AM
4

I mean that x% of a big number is still x% of a subset of that population if it is indeed uniformly split. I was just trying to help you with that one bit of the statement in case you wanted to correct it to not let the statistics mistake detract from your overall point.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/10/23 02:16 AM
6

if it’s distributed evenly between the genders it’s .5-1.5% FYI: You are doing proportions wrong here. If it is evenly split, then it would still be 1-3%. For a simplified example, if 2% of 200 (that is, 40) men and women had autism and it was evenly split, that would work out to 20 of 100 men (2%) and 20 of 100 women (also 2%).
/r/PurplePillDebate29/10/23 01:47 AM
–

On Reddit it's more common than in the general public.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/10/23 02:56 AM
1

But by virtue of having had social groups in the past, you at the very least gained social skills that can help you now. But of course, current friends still help for finding dating partners. Some of these guys have never been socially successful enough to maintain a friend group (of mixed gender and including other socially successful people). That means they are less likely to have the skills you develop by participating in those groups. You can still luck out and get a girlfriend, but it is m…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/10/23 12:49 AM
3

I think this is a good take, actually. Most of my friends who say a guy's looks don't matter (or parents who say that to their young kids) aren't really thinking about genuine sexual desire and may have none themselves. All of the women who do expect a fulfilling sex life (myself included) care about looks in many ways, even if it isn't conventional attraction.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/10/23 12:57 PM
12

Ha! This was the comment I was waiting to see!
/r/PurplePillDebate09/10/23 06:18 PM
2

American passport allows entry into a lot of other countries. Many other passports make it much harder to travel.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/10/23 06:21 PM
1

I have no dog in this person's argument either way, but this entire sub is unprovable assertions.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/10/23 03:44 AM
5

Do you struggle with conflicting messages when learning stuff? Maybe due to anxiety or wanting things to be black and white? I think this may be a good testing ground for you to work on dealing with conflicting info. That trait is something that you will continue to need in life as well.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/10/23 09:43 AM
7

As a woman who is baffled by anxiously attached people, let me tell you that there are a lot of women and men who can't self-validate. I'd say that many women are better at using words as validation from their friends whereas many men I know seek evidence (which is more difficult to find).
/r/PurplePillDebate18/09/23 01:17 PM
3

I'm curious, no dog in this fight, but do you tell these women how you feel about their personalities when dating them (if you've ever had a relationship, which shouldn't be assumed on this sub)? I would be surprised that anyone would agree to that unless you just are omitting this info from them.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/09/23 09:45 AM
1

I think the only downside for A is for those who are strictly monogamous. I am monogamous, but I have enjoyed polyamory in the past even when I don't partake. So A for me.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/09/23 01:36 AM
7

I would love a good post or explanation of this phenomenon. I (married woman) see so many women purely disqualify any men that had a gay or bisexual experience even once and I just don't get it.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/08/23 01:24 PM
–

You must have not seen The Matrix, the source for the pill idea. The blue pill represents "what most people believe".
/r/PurplePillDebate25/08/23 06:08 AM
1

I didn't know OP was so strictly hetero. Honestly, I would consider dating women if I hated men as much as some of my peers do. I don't see sexuality as so black and white. That's unfortunate about the dogs though. It sounds pretty illegal.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/08/23 03:14 PM
-1

I must have missed where OP said he and everyone the post was about were strictly hetero. I find the all men experience this in dating arguments strange without acknowledging the sexual options available if they open themselves up to joining up with each other.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/08/23 02:41 PM
-2

Yeah, it's so weird to me that the comments here are so gendered and yet people just assume heterosexual relationships are the only option. All this talk about it's hard to date women and no mention of the obvious alternative.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/08/23 02:22 PM
-3

Download Grindr. You could have a water faucet if you wanted one too.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/08/23 12:51 PM
1

Reddit drops free awards to hand out to accounts that have to be used in 24 hours -- or at least they did several months ago, when I last got one to spend. Those may be how the awards are given. But I also know people who do spend their real money to give others rewards.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/11/22 12:19 PM
2

As a statistician, I am very surprised to hear you say that scientists and empiricists agree with Hume. His beliefs on causation are very unpopular in any modern Bayesian-aware community that I have been a part of.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/11/22 11:11 AM
2

While Hume indeed argued that causation is simply perfect correlation, it is not well accepted today. Hume's argument has been debunked with many counterexamples that would disagree with your use here -- Kant and others who pointed out that even perfect correlation isn't sufficient evidence of causation, counterexamples where causation is proven (with statistical tools after Hume) but perfect correlation doesn't exist. I won't even bother joining into the PPD argument around why correlation of a…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/11/22 05:34 AM
3

You realize the difference between a post and a comment, right? Many more people have seen your post than people who scrolled down far enough to this comment -- of course you got more requests.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/10/22 09:44 AM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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