~ archived since 2018 ~
~ archived since 2018 ~
| Upvotes | Comment on | Subreddit | Date (UTC) |
|---|---|---|---|
| 2 | 25M: Doing great in my career, but my dating life is non-existent. Sometimes this thought physically hurts my chestAssuming your SMV is where you say it is, this is an escalation problem, not an attraction problem. And you already described it perfectly: they're interested until you show interest back, then they pull away. That pull-away happens because showing interest without tension just reads as another nice guy investing. You become the friendly texter she keeps around, not the guy she's tense about. The "overthinking my messages" thing is the same issue from the inside. You're trying to craft the perfe… | /r/seduction | 26/07/26 06:05 PM |
| 1 | Photos for Instagram & Dating AppsPhotofeeler works as a general guideline but it isn't perfect. Same with asking female friends. They'll unconsciously soften it, or tell you what a good friend should say rather than what a stranger swiping at 11pm actually reacts to. The thing that matters most is understanding the difference between the male gaze and the female gaze. Almost every guy shoots for the male gaze without realizing it. Gym mirror shots, car photos, achievement flexes, shirtless pics. That's what impresses other men.… | /r/seduction | 23/07/26 08:58 AM |
| 1 | How can I get over my approach anxiety?Nightgame at a bar gives you enough volume of approaches in a short enough amount to time to lower your approach anxiety and building referential experience. Use the Cheers opener : eye contact, raise your glass, say cheers, give your name. There's no ask, no agenda, no thing to get rejected from. You're just being social, which you've already proven you can do. Do it ten times a night with zero goal of getting anything. Most go nowhere and that's the point. What you're training is the ability t… | /r/seduction | 19/07/26 11:31 PM |
| 1 | What are good openers in 2026?The Cheers opener is the easiest, most rejection-proof night game opener there is. Eye contact, raise your glass, say cheers, give your name. Nobody rejects a cheers because everyone already understands it. That's just normal bar behavior. If you get higher than 50% rejection rate from saying Cheers, then that means you have something significantly off with your nonverbals you need to fix right away. | /r/seduction | 16/07/26 05:43 AM |
| 4 | Complete lack of validation from women in Toronto as a tall black dude has me depressed af nglI was in Toronto two months ago running infield with clients. My Asian students were convinced Toronto girls were racist against Asian men and wouldn't date them. Completely self-made belief. Once we got infield they saw for themselves how many blonde white women they could attract. One of them went on his first date with the blonde white girl in the video for the first time in his life. https://youtube.com/shorts/njRXQl9KKak Race isn't what's holding you back. The apps are a separate problem. D… | /r/seduction | 14/07/26 08:59 PM |
| 3 | Working on your self esteem will take you a LOOOOOOOONG way compared to any tips and tricks here.Mostly agree, with one correction. Inner and outer game aren't a sequence where you finish one and move to the next. You run them in parallel. The inner game work you're describing is the deeper, slower build, and you're right that it lasts longer once it takes. But if a guy only works on liking himself and gets no actual results for months, the self-esteem gains have nothing to stand on and they erode. Doubt creeps back in. That's why you need the early, easy wins running at the same time. Get … | /r/seduction | 12/07/26 04:01 AM |
| 2 | How do you escalate without misreading in this situation?She used the Europe story on you man. https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZP8G6C4ae/ | /r/seduction | 30/06/26 10:36 AM |
| 1 | Help with my game… you started off your post saying you were at the bar. | /r/seduction | 30/06/26 05:58 AM |
| 2 | I have high standards yet I often don't approach girls who look expensive and are really hot.I can guarantee you that every hot girl has hooked up with a hobosexual. And probably been dumped by one too. | /r/seduction | 29/06/26 09:44 PM |
| 2 | Help with my game10-15 approaches with one number is actually decent volume for a first session. The approach anxiety is clearly not the issue. Opener and conversation are. Fix the opener first. The Cheers opener removes the blank mind problem entirely. Eye contact, raise your glass, say cheers, give your name. Nothing to think of, nothing to freeze on. Once you have the name exchange, stop trying to think of interesting questions or emotional stories. Switch to the Banter Triangle. Level 1 is statements about h… | /r/seduction | 29/06/26 08:45 PM |
| 15 | Game for a 42yr old guy?42 is not old. It's experienced. I'm out here picking up Gen Z girls in Chicago at my age: https://youtube.com/shorts/p9obMzq6bck?feature=share Had a client who's 50 close 5 girls in 2 weeks. What changes at your age is the approach. You don't have unlimited nights to burn on bad venues and low volume. Time is the constraint, so you build a funnel that works efficiently. Apps with photos optimized for female gaze. Bars for cold approach reps where you can move around. Social circle through thing… | /r/seduction | 29/06/26 08:40 PM |
| 1 | How to go from flirting to serious talk?Sit her down somewhere isolated. How you talk with someone standing up is very different when you’re sitting down. | /r/seduction | 29/06/26 08:37 PM |
| 1 | I'm losing it(Rant post)Probably at a minimum average, you should be able to stay in conversation for at least 12 minutes for it to be considered solid. | /r/seduction | 29/06/26 08:36 PM |
| 1 | Good at escalating, but completely frozen when it comes to cold approaching. Need advice.The Cheers opener is the lowest rejection rate opener I've ever used. Eye contact, raise your glass, say cheers, give your name. It's not a pickup move, it's just normal bar behavior. Nothing to overthink, nothing to freeze on. She cheers back and you're already in conversation. That's your entry point. Ten sets a night, zero attachment to outcome. Given your escalation skills, once you're past that first exchange you already know what to do. | /r/seduction | 29/06/26 05:33 PM |
| 9 | I'm losing it(Rant post)Short Asian here. The venue is the problem. Small crowded bars where the same people can see you working multiple sets turns you into the obvious guy who's hunting. That's hard mode. You want a venue with enough size to move around. Two floors, multiple bar areas, outdoor sections. Then the move isn't to hide that you're social, it's to use it as proof. Start with the whole group, not just your target. Build warmth with everyone in it. She watches you be socially comfortable with people she know… | /r/seduction | 29/06/26 10:56 AM |
| 4 | First time at a club/barStart with Cheers as your opener as it leverages social etiquette and people’s automatic response. Eye contact, raise your glass, say cheers, give your name. Nothing to memorize, nothing to think of. It's just normal bar behavior and it gets almost zero rejection. Once you have a name exchange, that's when the Banter Triangle kicks in. Switch from questions to statements about her. "Let me guess, you're the troublemaker of your friend group." No question mark. You're reading her, not interviewin… | /r/seduction | 27/06/26 06:26 PM |
| 1 | Trying to threesome with a FWB. Any advice?Promise to your main girl you will only come inside of her. Break that and you’ll lose any hope of a harem. | /r/seduction | 27/06/26 08:03 AM |
| 9 | How can I become more confident approaching women in bars and clubs as a solo traveler?5'4" Asian here and been to 30+ countries. The thing about hostel socializing is there's a built-in excuse to talk: you're staying in the same place. Bars don't have that. So guys who are good at bars have essentially created their own version of that excuse. The Cheers opener does exactly that. Everyone at a bar understands cheersing. It's not a pickup move, it's just normal bar behavior in most of the world. Eye contact, raise your glass, say cheers, give your name. That's it. She either cheer… | /r/seduction | 26/06/26 07:33 PM |
| 5 | How does meeting people at bars work?Going solo is actually fine. You're not trying to integrate into someone else's group, you're just making brief contact with new people. The Cheers opener is built exactly for this: eye contact, raise your glass, say cheers, give your name. Socially acceptable, almost zero rejection, and it works on anyone sitting nearby or standing at the bar. Do it ten times in a night with no attachment to outcome. The rest of the conversation builds from there once you have a name exchange going. Yes, people… | /r/seduction | 26/06/26 06:11 PM |
| 0 | How do i portray myself as non needy?Good body language, banter, tease and when she’s laughing, say “Why are you laughing at all my jokes? You’re totally obsessed with me aren’t you.” | /r/seduction | 26/06/26 11:04 AM |
| 1 | Dedicating a few years to cold approach - Crazy to do at 32?You have every physical and financial variable sorted. What you're missing is social calibration and reps, and those are learnable at any age. Most guys who start with your resources are actually at an advantage. You can go to the venues that matter, you're not splitting rent with three roommates, and you're motivated enough to actually do the work. On location: both cities work but they serve different goals. Vegas has the edge in raw volume. The density and transient tourist population means y… | /r/seduction | 26/06/26 10:22 AM |
| 1 | Need help/advice with conversation.Getting information from her is the wrong goal for early conversation. That's what's turning it into an interview and killing the escalation path. The fix is the Banter Triangle. Level 1 is statements about her instead of questions. "Let me guess, you're the troublemaker of your friend group." No question mark. You're reading her, not extracting data. She'll confirm, deny, or start qualifying herself to you, and all three move things forward. Level 2 is us framing: "We’re getting a divorce, you … | /r/seduction | 25/06/26 08:11 PM |
| 1 | How do I cold approach (talking about the opener)You're giving yourself too much time to think, which is exactly when your brain freezes. Simplify the opener to the point where there's nothing to forget. The Cheers opener works specifically because it's socially acceptable, gets almost zero rejection, and short-circuits that hesitation window: eye contact, raise your glass, say cheers, give your name. Your own experience proves the rest takes care of itself once you're moving. The pedestalizing is a separate problem. You're outsourcing your co… | /r/seduction | 25/06/26 08:08 PM |
| 3 | What are your seduction unpopular opinions?To say it in a less facetious way, less talk and more behaviors, body language and action that embody male sexuality. | /r/seduction | 19/06/26 12:51 AM |
| 23 | What are your seduction unpopular opinions?Less talk, more sex. | /r/seduction | 18/06/26 10:12 PM |
| 1 | Travelling to a different country to learn Cold Approach?I'll actually be in Toronto in August if you're interested in learning. Here's some infield action to see what happene last time I was in Canada: https://youtube.com/shorts/njRXQl9KKak | /r/seduction | 18/06/26 08:17 PM |
| 2 | Travelling to a different country to learn Cold Approach?The traveler's confidence is real. New environment, no one knows you. You stop overthinking and a different version of yourself shows up. Your sister's experience tracks with what I've seen for years. For Asian men specifically there's an added layer. In North America, race is a variable working against you before you even open your mouth. In most of Europe that variable is neutral or tilts positive. That compounds with the traveler's confidence effect. The catch is most of it fades when you get… | /r/seduction | 07/06/26 09:04 PM |
| 1 | What to do if I never get signals or cues?I'm 5'4, chopped looking Asian. I've never waited for IOIs because I never get them. If I waited for green lights I'd never approach anyone. But you're 6 foot and fit. You're probably already getting signals, you just don't have a calibrated enough radar to catch them. A half-second glance that breaks away, a girl repositioning herself nearby, an accidental brush. Women are subtle about it, especially in public. The model is broken regardless. Approach based on your own attraction, not based on … | /r/seduction | 07/06/26 08:01 PM |
| 1 | I practiced cold approaching last night at a club. Are women more hostile these days?"Hi how are you" has zero personality. And a cold compliment about her outfit is asking her to make a decision on you before you've even created any energy or interest. That's backwards. Switch to the Cheers opener instead. Eye contact, raise your glass, say cheers, give your name. At a solid skill level you should be getting 3 out of 4 responding warmly. If fewer than half are responding at all, the feedback is in your body language, energy, tonality, and smile, not the words themselves. Ten se… | /r/seduction | 07/06/26 07:53 PM |
| 1 | Night out and enjoyed myselfYou get a glass of water and say “Cheers to sobriety!” | /r/seduction | 03/06/26 06:46 PM |
| 1 | Trying to fix my dating/social life in NYC — advice appreciatedNYC is the best city in the country for this. The density and the bar culture are working in your favor. You have better infrastructure here than almost anywhere else. Three channels to run at once: Apps: one Hinge date in a year is a photos problem. Women decide in two seconds. Think female gaze: lifestyle shots, social proof, warmth. Most guys default to gym selfies. Women aren't scrolling for that. Fix the photos before you touch the bio. Bars for volume and reps. The approach fear and the fi… | /r/seduction | 03/06/26 05:29 AM |
| 1 | Best structured online ( recorded videos) program is to get all the mindset, techniques ready for any situation/interactionWhat you're describing is exactly what the Academy is built for. Video lectures organized by topic with a clear sequence: inner game, outer game, verbal game, infield breakdowns. No jumping between random creators. First 30 days are free: ABCs of Attraction Academy | /r/seduction | 03/06/26 02:50 AM |
| 1 | Guys 5'4 and below who get laid without a social circle, how do you do it?Yep, probably around Covid times. Just measured myself and lost an inch. Happens with age. | /r/seduction | 02/06/26 04:00 PM |
| 6 | Night out and enjoyed myselfWhat alcohol actually does is shut down your prefrontal cortex long enough for your body to take over. You already know what that state feels like. The goal is to get there without the drinks. The sequence that works: body first, then brain, then words. Before you walk in, two minutes of power posing outside the venue. Shoulders back, feet wide, head up. Looks ridiculous, changes your physiology. Then when you spot someone, count down from five and move. The countdown interrupts the rumination l… | /r/seduction | 02/06/26 02:05 AM |
| 2 | New to the seduction/pick up community (looking for wingman in DMV and advice)The fact that you can open and close for other people tells you everything. The skill is there. What disappears when it's for you is detachment from outcome. Treat every approach like you're opening for a friend. You're not invested, you're just making an introduction. Cheers opener is good for this: eye contact, raise your glass, say cheers, give your name. Zero script, zero pressure. Ten sets a night until the hesitation stops feeling like hesitation. DMV has the venues for this. Georgetown, A… | /r/seduction | 02/06/26 01:29 AM |
| 2 | So what is the most effective way to go about dating in 2026 for the average man?Your cold approach numbers aren't bad for a few weeks in. 50 approaches, 8 numbers is around 16%. The problem is the drop-off. Four texted back, zero dates means you're either getting polite ghost numbers (she was friendly but not actually interested) or your texting is killing the lead. Figure out which. You're also treating this as one channel when you should be running three simultaneously. Apps are almost always a photo problem. 90% of your result is determined before you type a word. Most g… | /r/seduction | 01/06/26 11:52 PM |
| 2 | How does flirting and escalation look like when you first meet someone?Replied to your escalation post earlier. Did that help? What you're describing here is a different problem. You're running pure information exchange: ask about her work, share yours, ask about her interests, share yours. That's Level 0. Friendly, but no chemistry. If the police interviewed her after your date, she should have nothing to report about you. No idea what you do, where you're from. What you want her saying is "he was fun, he was amazing, he made me laugh, he pissed me off." All emoti… | /r/seduction | 01/06/26 11:46 PM |
| 1 | Good pick up lines/OpenersEasiest, lowest rejection opener for night time venues is the simple Cheers opener. “Cheers, my names XYZ, what’s yours? You guys seem friendly blah blah blah.” It also serves as a good diagnostic tool because saying Cheers at a bar is completely normal and socially understood interaction by everyone. If you can’t even get half of people to Cheers you back, then that means there’s something off with your subcommunication like BL, facial expressions, energy and tonality. More on the Cheers opener… | /r/seduction | 30/05/26 07:09 PM |
| 3 | Guys 5'4 and below who get laid without a social circle, how do you do it?5'4" so I'm just above your range but in the same world. The 5'9" guys aren't who you should be reading. Different dating market entirely. Here's a short I made of the women I've actually dated and hooked up with over the years so you can see what's possible at our height range: [Asian Playboy highlight reel] None of them dated my face or my height. They responded to the energy I brought, the way I moved through rooms, how I made them feel in the conversation, and the fact that I approached with… | /r/seduction | 30/05/26 05:21 PM |
| 3 | I did everything I was supposed to do as a man to improve my looks... I'm still ugly; was it all pointless?Fellow former 201 lb 5'4" guy here. I get the dejection. I've been at the gym phase, the new clothes phase, the new photos phase. The thing that changed the most for me wasn't another round of optimization, it was learning to stop depending on IOIs from women to feel confident. Most guys are running on a model where their confidence is downstream of whether women check them out on the street. If she looks, he's worth approaching. If she doesn't, he's invisible. The problem is that women in publi… | /r/seduction | 30/05/26 05:33 AM |
| 1 | Best current PUA system? (Better than ToddV?)I'll throw my hat in the ring since you asked. I run ABCs of Attraction, been in the game since 2005. We've coached guys across 30+ countries and 100+ student marriages. I'm not going to comment on other coaches or compare systems because it always turns into a dick measuring contest and that's not useful for you. What I can speak to is our approach. We run a more holistic system across inner game, outer game (looks, fashion, body language), and verbal game. The reason is that guys come to us at… | /r/seduction | 30/05/26 05:25 AM |
| 2 | I need to hear from big city players if you don’t mind.New York is a target rich environment for both night and daygame as well as a gender ratio that favors men. Probably one of the easier cities to pull given the vast demographics of locals, tourists, models and wide ethnic backgrounds. Here’s me and a student pulling two college girls in New York: https://youtu.be/qNc04xPDnZA | /r/seduction | 26/05/26 08:08 PM |
| 0 | Best youtuber, coach, guide?Here’s infield of me and my then 26 year old virgin student pulling two college girls in NY. He’s no longer a virgin: https://youtu.be/qNc04xPDnZA To answer your other unspoken question, get tidalefil or viagra. | /r/seduction | 26/05/26 08:00 PM |
| 1 | It makes me more nervous to approach if she's wearing short clothes.You've already diagnosed it. Your two theories are both versions of the same thing: you're inflating her based on the production she's wearing. Short clothes equal high attention equals out of your league. She's not above you. She's wearing an outfit. The outfit added points the same way makeup, lash extensions, and Instagram filters all add points. Underneath she's a normal girl with insecurities and morning breath like everyone else. Two techniques to stop putting her on the pedestal: One. Ant… | /r/seduction | 26/05/26 07:57 PM |
| 8 | Cold Approach might be KeyFellow short king here, I'm 5'4". You're not wrong that cold approach is the cheat code post-college, but I'd reframe it slightly. Cold approach isn't a solution by itself. It's one channel in a dating funnel, alongside apps (which need fixing not abandoning) and social circle (which takes longer but compounds). That said, you're right that cold approach is the fastest way to get access to hot girls you wouldn't see on dating apps. The girls who don't need apps are out at bars, coffee shops, boo… | /r/seduction | 26/05/26 07:47 PM |
| 2 | Exotic commentYes. Your reply, “Was that your best pickup line? You’re going to have to do better than that.” | /r/seduction | 22/05/26 03:50 PM |
| 2 | Where can I practice cold approaches?Bars are the right venue for what you're describing. High volume of women, social environment where strangers approaching each other is normalized, alcohol lowering everyone's social filters, and the option to do many short approaches in a single night rather than one high-stakes attempt. The "what's the move" question is what trips up most guys at this stage. Walking up to someone who's minding their business with no script feels weird because there's no shared social context yet. The Cheers op… | /r/seduction | 22/05/26 01:27 PM |
| 2 | Can someone give me tips on how to approach women at bars?The window is anywhere between 3-12 minutes from when you open. Less than 3 minutes is usually too early because she hasn't decided you're interesting yet. More than 12 minutes and you're risking the energy plateauing or her friends pulling her away. But the timing rule that matters more than the clock: close on a high note. A high note is the moment when she's actively engaged, laughing, leaning in, or just delivered a line she's proud of. The energy of the interaction is peaked or still rising… | /r/seduction | 22/05/26 01:25 PM |
| 15 | The CubeThe Cube is one of those routines that became famous through The Game (Neil Strauss, 2005) and the Mystery Method era, then got a second life on TikTok recently. The answer to "does it work" is yes but not for the reason most guys think. The Cube doesn't create attraction on its own. It's a conversation framework that lets you do three things: extend an interaction past the awkward first 60 seconds, get her talking about herself in a way that feels playful rather than interview-like, and (the ac… | /r/seduction | 22/05/26 01:19 PM |
| 14 | Tips on how to get laid in NYCNYC is one of the best cities for dating in the US, especially for short visits because density and walkability mean you can hit multiple venues per night without burning time in transit. Day game works in coffee shops and bookstores. Night game runs in bars and lounges. Apps can supplement if you match with women open to short-term connection. NYC has the best daygame in the world by a wide margin. Multiple parks (Central Park, Washington Square, Bryant, Madison Square, the High Line), constant… | /r/seduction | 22/05/26 01:12 AM |
| 5 | Approaching a group of women at a bar, possible or let it go?Approaching groups is actually easier than approaching singles. Single women at bars are usually waiting for someone, between locations, or actively trying to be left alone. Groups are there to socialize. Their default state is more open to strangers, even though their attention is on each other. The mistake is treating a group approach like a single approach. You can't walk up and lock eyes with the one you're attracted to, that signals you came in to single her out and the friends will close r… | /r/seduction | 19/05/26 08:42 PM |
| 11 | How to flirt and close the date to ask them to come homebTwo things you need: a logistics diagnostic before you escalate, and a structured escalation pattern that doesn't require guessing. The logistics question to ask early: "So what's your story tonight?" Her answer tells you what's actually possible. If she's bar hopping with friends, you need to befriend the group so they side with you when you try to take her home, otherwise you settle for setting up a date later in the week. Her hanging out solo with no obligations means logistics are open and p… | /r/seduction | 18/05/26 04:56 PM |
| 7 | Went out alone to a nightclub: Approached with no success.Good on you for not quitting after 5 in a row. Most guys tap out after 2. Here's a diagnostic move worth running on your next outing: do 5 cheers approaches before you do anything else. Just walk up, raise your glass, and say "cheers" or "you guys look like you're having fun, what's the occasion." Skip the clever opener entirely. The whole point is using the simplest possible interaction so the variables get isolated. The cheers opener strips out the content of what you say so the only variables… | /r/seduction | 16/05/26 06:17 PM |
| 9 | Night clubs gameABC Kiss close: Assuming you have attraction and compliance, you tell her to give you a kiss on the left cheek. She passes, tell her to kiss you on the right cheek. She passes, you tell her to kiss you on the lips. ABC. D comes later. Utterly fool proof and no guessing involved. If she fails at any point, you stop, step back, and regame another way. Advanced escalation: isolate her where you can sit, tell her to sit on your lap. Then you put her around your shoulder. Then the ABC kiss close. Boo… | /r/seduction | 16/05/26 04:40 AM |
| 1 | How do you get over approach hesitation in the moment?In the moment, you fall back on your habits. Hope and intent don't survive the freeze response. If you haven't trained yourself to approach on demand, your nervous system is going to default to freezing every time, no matter how natural the setup looks. The 3-2-1 countdown works for people who already have the underlying habit installed. For people who don't, it's just a self-aware way of watching yourself not approach. The countdown isn't broken. You need the reps underneath it. The fix is putt… | /r/seduction | 15/05/26 10:54 AM |
| 2 | Need major inner game adviceWhat you're describing maps to all three layers of the Inner Game Iceberg. The surface layer is state. Your moment-to-moment confidence when you're with a woman or trying to approach. State is the easiest layer to regulate because your body and your emotions can shift it within minutes. Two minutes of power posing, controlled breathing, deliberate eye contact. Your body affects your emotions, your emotions affect your mind. State work is what most "grow a pair" advice points at and it has real v… | /r/seduction | 13/05/26 03:12 AM |
| 0 | How a 5'7" guy with broken English used a 7-point fashion system to cold approach and marry a 6-foot European woman (A Style Guide To Improving Your SMV)That's an individual choice. A lot of Asian men, for cultural reasons, naturally gravitate towards long term relationships. Although obviously there are those who want to be fuckbois. It's not my job to dictate to people how they should live their lives, only show them the optimal way to achieve whatever romantic goals they set for themselves. | /r/seduction | 12/05/26 06:50 PM |
| 4 | What are the some of the "go big or go home" moves in approachingA direct style kamikaze opener, “You are fucking beautiful.” https://youtu.be/LwVYIJXKA8o | /r/seduction | 12/05/26 04:19 AM |
| 1 | Field report (solo after friend left early)Next time someone compare you to a celebrity say, “Are you trying to stalk me? Oh god not another one.” | /r/seduction | 11/05/26 02:15 PM |
| 3 | How did you overcome approach anxiety, hesitation and stop overthinking before approaching someone?You've already half-diagnosed it. The freeze plus fake outcomes is the standard pattern. Three things actually fix it, in this order. Body first. Two minutes of power posing before you even try to approach. Tall, shoulders back, feet wide, head up. Cuddy's Harvard research is real: it raises testosterone and lowers cortisol. Your body has to be in a different state than "guy thinking about it" or your nervous system keeps reading the situation as threat. Brain second. When you spot someone, coun… | /r/seduction | 11/05/26 02:06 AM |
| 5 | Anybody here that started approaching in their 30s?Yes, but the bigger picture at 30+ is that approaching is one of several channels you should be running. Your dating funnel should have multiple inputs at once. Cold approach in bars and daygame. Apps optimized properly (most guys only take picture for the male gaze and not the female gaze and therefore lose 80% of their potential matches there). Social circle and warm intros from friends. Hobbies that put you around women regularly (dance, climbing, run clubs, wine drinking). Events and confere… | /r/seduction | 10/05/26 05:32 PM |
| 3 | Going out alone tonightKickstarter Cheers opener works without alcohol. Get a glass of water at the bar, raise it to mid-chest, eye contact, smile, say "cheers to sobriety." She cheers back on autopilot, you introduce yourself, brief exchange, easy exit if you want. The mechanic skips the part of your brain that freezes because it triggers a social reflex she already has. The opener is doing the heavy lifting before you've had to think about what to say. The science behind the: Kickstarter Cheers opener and the scienc… | /r/seduction | 09/05/26 06:49 PM |
| 4 | Is cold approaching as a 33m worth it?Yes, but your math is wrong on what you're measuring. Twelve approaches in a week is normal beginner volume. Most guys don't see consistent date conversion until past 50 to 100 approaches, when calibration, banter, escalation, and knowing when to invest vs cut start clicking. The bigger reframe is what you're actually getting from this. Cold approach is a personal development discipline first and a path to dates second. Every rep rebuilds your nervous system, your self-image, and your ability to… | /r/seduction | 09/05/26 06:23 PM |
| 1 | I am looking for pick up coachReal coaching exists, but you're right to be careful. I run a EuroTour route, and I've coached extensively in Budapest, and we’ll be running a Warsaw bootcamp later this year. How to vet any coach before paying: - Video testimonials with student faces and names, not anonymous text quotes - Real infield footage of the coach actually approaching, not just talking to a camera - Verifiable media coverage (TV, press, podcasts you can independently search) - A published schedule with fixed dates and l… | /r/seduction | 08/05/26 07:06 AM |
| 2 | How to overcome the hesitation to approach someone?Yes. Most guys who travel for work hit this exact wall. You're trying to skip to "what do I say" before your body is ready. The order has to be body, then brain, then words. Skip the first two and you freeze every time. Body: power pose for two minutes before you leave the hotel. Tall, shoulders back, feet wide, head up. Cuddy's Harvard research is real, it raises testosterone and lowers cortisol. Brain: when you spot someone you want, count down out loud. Five, four, three, two, one, go. Number… | /r/seduction | 08/05/26 06:58 AM |
| 1 | Vegas tipsHere’s the Las Vegas guide on night and day venues on where to approach and pickup girls. | /r/seduction | 07/05/26 06:03 AM |
| 1 | Hi! Could you give me some advice?23 is not behind. Most guys you assume have it figured out are also faking it. I didn't have my first kiss until 20 and didn't actually understand attraction until much later, and I've coached thousands of guys whose first kiss came at 25, 28, 32. The "loser because I'm behind" thought comes from the anxiety. It isn't reflecting reality. The fear of strangers is the right thing to work on first. Two specific drills. Low-stakes practice first. Cashiers, baristas, Uber drivers, the guy next to you… | /r/seduction | 07/05/26 06:01 AM |
| 10 | I'm watching my life slip away while everyone else wins - need to break this cycle before it's permanentRead your whole post. The thing you’re scared of becoming is not your destiny. The fact that you’re scared of it is evidence you can still steer. Three things worth saying. You’re already doing the hardest part by naming the bitterness. Most guys who actually become bitter never see it happening. The ones who notice mid-spiral, hate the version of themselves they’re becoming, and refuse to identify with it usually break out. That’s you right now. Hold that. The resource costs you’re worried abou… | /r/seduction | 07/05/26 05:57 AM |
| 1 | How to act like a player or a fboiWell your height is going to be defining characteristic of your SMV. Put on boots and now you're a 6"3 and just standing at a bar with white t-shirt and jeans will have girls approach you. All being skinny does is preclude you from dressing like a jock and maybe badboy. Look at what your sexual avatar is (you could probably do hipster, alternative, suited up, metro, etc) and dress according to that. | /r/seduction | 06/05/26 05:08 PM |
| 23 | How long does it take a woman to decide that she wants to have sex with you?If you have extremely high SMV (like you're the male model type, or she's ovulating and you meet her sexual archetype), then instantly. For most of other circumstances, it's more about are you fuckable or not? So when you approach, you have to stick it and meet the Fuckable Line. If you don't, then you're automatically out. Women will generally look more for red flags than green flags in men, so bad fashion, hygeine, and other behaviors that give her the ick will weed you out. That's also why wh… | /r/seduction | 06/05/26 05:03 PM |
| 7 | How to act like a player or a fboiWell, better to be thought of a fuckboi than not thought of at all. | /r/seduction | 06/05/26 10:08 AM |
| 2 | How to act like a player or a fboiStreetwear vs clean silhouettes is the wrong frame. Either can land, either can flop. The right question is what sexual avatar you're projecting: surfer, k-pop, jock, badboy, finance bro, artsy creative. Pick one, then dress to that archetype with intent. Streetwear on a guy projecting badboy works. Same streetwear on a guy projecting suited up gentleman looks confused. Pick the avatar that fits your face, body type, lifestyle, the location you're going to and the women you want to attract. Then… | /r/seduction | 06/05/26 09:40 AM |
| 38 | How to act like a player or a fboiIf you want fuckboi results, then you've got to look like a fuckboi, talk like a fuckboi and act like a fuckboi. Basically it's all of it working together. Clothing, appearance, body language, stories, and how you talk to her. Take one out and she'll start to see that you aren't congruent with the fuckboi frame and lifestyle. Look: fitted clothes that show you have a body, one statement piece, slightly more skin or contrast than feels comfortable. Grooming dialed. The wardrobe most guys default … | /r/seduction | 06/05/26 09:18 AM |
| 1 | Isn’t nightlife 95% women sticking to their groups?The 95% number is mostly a perception problem. Closed groups look closed because most guys don't try or understand the code underpinning most nightlife. The ones who do approach with intent and skill see a different club than the guy standing on the wall. Here's an infield video where I cold approached a 10 set of, I then pulled my students into to work the set with me, and two of my guys ended up hooking up with girls while the other girls watched on with approval and did not try to cockblock. … | /r/seduction | 06/05/26 09:14 AM |
| 2 | How to give out vibes that get me hookups or get me laid?Hard to diagnose without seeing you. Could be all three: how you dress, how you carry yourself, how you talk. If you want fuckboi outcomes, you have to look the part across all three. Women read intent off how you present before you've said anything sexual. Dress: stop dressing like a coworker. Fitted clothes that show you have a body, one statement piece, slightly more skin or contrast than feels comfortable. The "nice guy" wardrobe broadcasts platonic. Walk: take up space, slower pace, hold ey… | /r/seduction | 06/05/26 09:10 AM |
| 1 | If flirting isn’t your cup of tea, is it bad necessarily to just straight up have a discussion with the girl about if she wants to get intimate?Two things going on. Frank talk about sex is what flirting earns you, not a way to skip it. By the time a FWB conversation happens cleanly, she's already decided you read each other. Flirting is the read, the way you both check whether you're speaking the same emotional language before anything explicit gets said. Skipping it leaves you uncalibrated, and uncalibrated frank talk lands awkward at best, creepy at worst, even when intent is clean. The "I just say it like it is" framing usually masks… | /r/seduction | 06/05/26 09:08 AM |
| 1 | Real openers/convos that worked at party bars when she's in a group?Two things to fix. For direct openers with no situational hook: Kickstarter Cheers opener. Make eye contact, smile, raise your glass, say “Cheers.” She cheers back on autopilot. You introduce yourself, you’re in. No green light required. For the interview mode problem: you need to move through the banter levels in order. Level 1 is statements about her. “You’re totally a walking red flag aren’t you.” “No question mark. She reacts, you respond. Level 2 is us framing. You pull her out of the group… | /r/seduction | 05/05/26 05:40 AM |
| 1 | How to give out vibes that get me hookups or get me laid?Depends on the sexual avatar you're embodying. There's surfer fuckbois, street fuckbois, Kpop fuckbois, hobosexuals, etc. | /r/seduction | 04/05/26 10:31 PM |
| 2 | How to give out vibes that get me hookups or get me laid?Dress, act and sound like a fuckboi. | /r/seduction | 04/05/26 10:07 PM |
| 2 | South East Asians in the US.Fellow Southeast Asian, 5’4” Vietnamese American. I’ve lived exactly what you’re describing and see it constantly with clients. It’s solvable. What you’re noticing has a name: Asian Poker Face. We’re conditioned to not show too much emotion, not be loud, not take up space. In Asia that reads as composed. In an American bar it reads as cold or creepy. The local guys aren’t better looking. They’re just more expressive. They smile bigger, react visibly, let their face show they’re having a good tim… | /r/seduction | 04/05/26 09:40 PM |
| 3 | Low confidence - any tips to develop it?You've done everything the self-improvement playbook says and the confidence still isn't there. That's because dating confidence doesn't come from credentials or physique. It comes from reps with the specific thing you're afraid of. You wouldn't expect someone to become a confident public speaker by going to the gym. Same logic here. Think of it like training. You didn't walk in on day one and bench 225. You started light, got consistent, and the muscle came from showing up. Social confidence wo… | /r/seduction | 04/05/26 08:42 PM |
| 2 | Need advice with bullshit and banterThe problem isn’t that you’re too logical. It’s that you only have two modes: correct them or stay quiet. Banter is a third option you haven’t built yet. Three levels worth knowing: Level 1 is statements about them. Not correcting, not agreeing, just a playful observation. “You’ve clearly got strong opinions for someone who looks this innocent.” No debate, no facts, just personality. Level 2 is us framing. You pull yourself out of the group dynamic and create a side conversation. “You and I are … | /r/seduction | 02/05/26 08:45 PM |
| 0 | I’m confident with people, but I shut down around womenYou’ve unconsciously ranked her above you before you’ve said a word. With your guy friends the stakes are zero. With her, your brain has decided this one interaction determines your entire worth as a man. The freeze, the interview mode, becoming the most boring version of yourself, all the same root cause: she matters too much before she’s earned it. Stop asking questions, start making statements. “What do you do?” is an interview. “You look like someone who takes forever to make decisions” is a… | /r/seduction | 29/04/26 06:03 PM |
| 2 | Women playing/adjusting with their hair while cold approach. Does it mean something or is it normal?You can, but probably not until your intermediate level or better at direct style approaching. Within this context, you approach, you banter (see my previously popular but now banned post of 15 bantering lines), and as you build attraction, you test her interest by doing general compliance tests. As she hopefully invests into the interaction and you reach the social hook point, you start escalating and seeing if she starts to reciprocate going from general to sexual (sexual is defined not as pen… | /r/seduction | 28/04/26 09:38 PM |
| 3 | Women playing/adjusting with their hair while cold approach. Does it mean something or is it normal?Another bean soup comment. We're literally talking about the approach. | /r/seduction | 28/04/26 09:35 PM |
| 2 | Women playing/adjusting with their hair while cold approach. Does it mean something or is it normal?Yes | /r/seduction | 28/04/26 09:34 PM |
| 5 | Women playing/adjusting with their hair while cold approach. Does it mean something or is it normal?I never trust IOIs, only trust her actions. Adjusting her hair on your approach might just mean she's never being approached by a stranger. Instead, run compliance testing (going from general to sexual) and that's a truer measure of her interest than you trying to INFER/GUESS her interest level. As the saying goes, never trust what she says, only trust what she does. | /r/seduction | 28/04/26 06:38 PM |
| 9 | [STEAL ME] 15 stupid ass lines I've used to flirt with girls to take their pants offBecause I’m a 5’4 Asian. I use my Asianness in my game. | /r/seduction | 28/04/26 01:12 AM |
| 5 | [STEAL ME] 15 stupid ass lines I've used to flirt with girls to take their pants offHello is a line too. | /r/seduction | 27/04/26 09:48 PM |
| 7 | [STEAL ME] 15 stupid ass lines I've used to flirt with girls to take their pants offIt skips the audition. Most guys talk to a woman like they're trying to earn her attention. "Us" framing assumes the connection instead of asking for it. "We're the two most interesting people in this bar" sounds cocky on paper but lands as charming because she knows you don't actually know her yet. The assumption is the joke. And by joking about being a unit, you make being a unit feel possible. It also flips the in-group. Suddenly the rest of the room is the outsider, not her. | /r/seduction | 27/04/26 09:20 PM |
| 4 | [STEAL ME] 15 stupid ass lines I've used to flirt with girls to take their pants offThese are just meant to be bantering lines after the open. I generally go direct, "You are fucking beautiful" or do the social etiquette opener Cheers that forces an auto-pilot reply with extremely low rejection rates: https://www.abcsofattraction.com/blog/kickstarter-opener-use-science-backed-therapy-to-overcome-approach-anxiety-and-talk-to-women Then roll into the start of a conversation. | /r/seduction | 27/04/26 09:07 PM |
| 6 | [STEAL ME] 15 stupid ass lines I've used to flirt with girls to take their pants offIt's more like faux-serious. Like taking on a faux posh British accent and walking role playing and people observing. They know not to take it at face value or literal. Like when I tell girls I'm a virgin with a wink and smile. Based on the way I look, dress and act, they obviously know I'm bullshitting them, but it also shows that I'm not taking her seriously and she shouldn't either. Done right and in the right circumstances, it can make her pursue you more. | /r/seduction | 27/04/26 08:28 PM |
| 19 | [STEAL ME] 15 stupid ass lines I've used to flirt with girls to take their pants offExactly, banter is never serious, it's the fun, early part of getting to know one another. No one wants to be interviewed for a job by a complete stranger. | /r/seduction | 27/04/26 08:26 PM |
| 6 | [STEAL ME] 15 stupid ass lines I've used to flirt with girls to take their pants offSo you're actually doing what's in the first half which is that you don't default to job interview questions and have enough brain processing power to come up with conversation on the fly. | /r/seduction | 27/04/26 08:24 PM |
| 10 | [STEAL ME] 15 stupid ass lines I've used to flirt with girls to take their pants offExactly. It's about showing personality and getting to know one another, not trying to get it right or being perfect. | /r/seduction | 27/04/26 08:22 PM |
| 8 | [STEAL ME] 15 stupid ass lines I've used to flirt with girls to take their pants offEmbrace the cringe brother. | /r/seduction | 27/04/26 08:22 PM |
| 4 | [STEAL ME] 15 stupid ass lines I've used to flirt with girls to take their pants offBeep bop Boop. | /r/seduction | 27/04/26 07:47 PM |
| 12 | [STEAL ME] 15 stupid ass lines I've used to flirt with girls to take their pants offSo you literally just logged into Post about your bean soup? | /r/seduction | 27/04/26 07:45 PM |
| 1 | [STEAL ME] 15 stupid ass lines I've used to flirt with girls to take their pants offAsian. https://youtube.com/shorts/ltK3HHvHFv8?feature=share | /r/seduction | 27/04/26 06:52 PM |
| 1 | [STEAL ME] 15 stupid ass lines I've used to flirt with girls to take their pants offHow about 5’4 and 201 pounds? | /r/seduction | 27/04/26 06:50 PM |
| 13 | [STEAL ME] 15 stupid ass lines I've used to flirt with girls to take their pants offWalk around with her, arm in and arm, and say, “Bee bop boop.” I mean, the two of you calling people “peasants.” | /r/seduction | 27/04/26 06:49 PM |
| 18 | [STEAL ME] 15 stupid ass lines I've used to flirt with girls to take their pants offThen go Gen Z banter and call her, “You’re a walking red flag aren’t you?” Same meaning, different words. | /r/seduction | 27/04/26 06:48 PM |
| 12 | [STEAL ME] 15 stupid ass lines I've used to flirt with girls to take their pants offEmbrace the cringe brother. | /r/seduction | 27/04/26 06:41 PM |
| 1 | [STEAL ME] 15 stupid ass lines I've used to flirt with girls to take their pants offYou are Asian. And you're taller than me. | /r/seduction | 27/04/26 06:10 PM |
| 1 | [STEAL ME] 15 stupid ass lines I've used to flirt with girls to take their pants offBe successful and confident because you're Asian, not in spite of being Asian. https://youtube.com/shorts/ltK3HHvHFv8 | /r/seduction | 27/04/26 06:09 PM |
| 25 | [STEAL ME] 15 stupid ass lines I've used to flirt with girls to take their pants offOh, then you'd hate the ones where I take her by the arm, walk around the venue, and we pretend to call the people "peasants." | /r/seduction | 27/04/26 05:47 PM |
| 132 | [STEAL ME] 15 stupid ass lines I've used to flirt with girls to take their pants offI am unc-maxxing | /r/seduction | 27/04/26 05:25 PM |
| 3 | What counts as a "Cold approach?"Cold approach specifically means approaching someone you have zero prior connection with and no social context to lean on. No mutual friends, no shared class, no reason to talk. You’re creating the interaction from nothing. What you’re describing, making small talk, cracking jokes with people you encounter naturally, is warm or situational social interaction. Not the same skill. The reason you freeze in nightclubs is because that environment strips away all the contextual scaffolding you normall… | /r/seduction | 27/04/26 05:23 PM |
| 14 | [STEAL ME] 15 stupid ass lines I've used to flirt with girls to take their pants offI'm 5'4 and Asian | /r/seduction | 27/04/26 05:06 PM |
| 5 | Are there any guys who went from socially awkward in early 20s to a Chad after moving out to a big city?In LA it was doable at the time as there’s always somewhere to go out at night. Commitment. Discipline. Same thing as it comes to being good at anything difficult whether it’s the gym or getting an MBA by going to night school. I wanted it more than the few hours of discomfort it cost. About 5-10 sets a night. | /r/seduction | 27/04/26 04:13 PM |
| 33 | Are there any guys who went from socially awkward in early 20s to a Chad after moving out to a big city?Rocket scientist here, literally. Aerospace engineer who didn’t have his first kiss until 20. Moved to LA thinking I was doing okay. Quickly realized I was a bigger loser than I thought. So I committed: went out 4 to 6 nights a week for an entire year straight, treated it like a second job, got rejected constantly, and slowly got competent. After the one year mark, I had an inner game breakthrough and things clicked at a level I didn’t think was possible for someone like me. The “Chad” framing i… | /r/seduction | 27/04/26 11:25 AM |
| 1 | Officially a 29 year old virginHappy birthday. Fellow 5’4” guy here, so I know exactly what the short babyface combo feels like going into a room. The quitting after 1 or 2 approaches is the real problem, not your looks. You’re letting your nervous system decide the night is over before you’ve even warmed up. The first approach is always the hardest, the second is easier, by the fifth you’ve found your rhythm. Fastest way to build volume with the lowest rejection rate I’ve found: Kickstarter Cheers opener. Make eye contact, s… | /r/seduction | 27/04/26 11:20 AM |
| 1 | Need help.If you want to really hone in on cold reading, look up the Cube and Strawberry Fields. They’re oldies but goodies. | /r/seduction | 26/04/26 12:05 AM |
| 4 | Need help.Numbers not converting usually means the attraction was surface level. She enjoyed the interaction but didn’t feel genuinely seen by you. The missing piece for converting numbers into dates is cold reading (there’s a reason why girls love astrology). Instead of more flirty lines, try making a specific observation about her personality. “You seem like someone who keeps a small circle but is fiercely loyal to them.” Or “You’ve got this thing where you’re confident but you actually care what people… | /r/seduction | 25/04/26 11:56 PM |
| 2 | Hello Gents, trying to get back in the gameTalk to everyone in public, not just women you’re attracted to. Baristas, guys in line, older women, whoever. You’re just rebuilding the reflex that froze up, and it doesn’t care who you practice on. The stage fright you’re describing is your nervous system treating a low-stakes social moment like a physical threat. The fix isn’t mental prep or pep talks. It’s reps until your brain updates its threat assessment. The girl who beamed at you in line already gave you the green light. What you needed… | /r/seduction | 25/04/26 11:51 PM |
| 9 | How to win over a girl with trust issues?Never be a woman’s first good man. | /r/seduction | 25/04/26 09:56 PM |
| 8 | 31 and never had a girlfriend. Getting into game again.The feeling of being behind doesn’t fully disappear but it becomes irrelevant as you stack new experiences. You stop measuring yourself against where you “should” be and start measuring against where you were last month. 31 is not late. One of my students was 49, freshly divorced, starting from zero. He put in the work and built an active dating life most guys in their twenties would envy. Another married at 47 after coming through our program. The self-awareness you’re showing here, owning it w… | /r/seduction | 25/04/26 05:11 PM |
| 1 | Go-to spots running game in Budapest?Budapest is one of the best night game cities in Europe. The ruin bars in District VII are your home base, Szimpla Kert being the most well known, but the whole Jewish Quarter is packed with venues within walking distance of each other. Perfect for bar hopping between sets without losing momentum. For a higher quality crowd, Gozsdu Udvar is a covered courtyard passage lined with bars and restaurants, more upscale and relaxed than the ruin bars, good for a different vibe in the same night. If you… | /r/seduction | 24/04/26 07:38 PM |
| 1 | How do you move from the introduction to the seduction/flirting part of the conversation?Glad it helped. Feel free to DM me if you want to know more about what the bootcamp actually covers. | /r/seduction | 24/04/26 07:31 PM |
| 41 | How do you move from the introduction to the seduction/flirting part of the conversation?Too many logical questions in a row kills tension. Here’s the actual framework. Level 0 is what to avoid: job interview mode. “Where are you from? What do you do? How long have you had your dog?” Questions back to back with no tension or personality. This is where most guys get stuck. Level 1 is statements about her. Stop asking, start observing. At the dog park: “Your dog is judging everyone here, same energy as his owner.” Or “Let me guess, you spent more time picking out his collar than your … | /r/seduction | 24/04/26 05:47 PM |
| 1 | M27Not currently, but will be running a Warsaw bootcamp there in the Oct/Nov timeframe. | /r/seduction | 24/04/26 10:02 AM |
| 2 | How to escalate for the 4th date ?She wanted sex, you didn’t provide, and that’s why she ghosted you. She’ll hit you up when she’s horny again and going through her roster of sex providers. | /r/seduction | 23/04/26 01:38 PM |
| 1 | How do you night game?Good news: your day game fundamentals transfer directly. The opener is different but the comfort with approaching is the same muscle. The “stuck at the bar waiting” feeling is a mindset problem. You’re not supposed to stand and wait. You’re supposed to be moving. Here’s how to run night game properly: Pick a venue that’s two floors if possible, good energy, not earsplitting volume. Walk in, get a drink, do a lap of the whole venue before you approach anything. You’re getting a read on the room, … | /r/seduction | 23/04/26 01:36 PM |
| 1 | First time going out trying to approach womenNot pathetic at all. You showed up. Most guys never do that first part. The blanking around attractive women isn’t a personality flaw, it’s your nervous system treating a social situation like a physical threat. The fix isn’t mental, it’s reps. You talk yourself into approaching and your brain talks you back out because the stakes feel too high. The solution is to make the stakes so low that the calculation changes. That’s exactly what the Kickstarter Cheers opener does. In a bar, make eye conta… | /r/seduction | 23/04/26 01:33 PM |
| 1 | Heading out solo for the first timeOne goal for tonight: ten conversations. Not just women you’re attracted to, anyone. Bartenders, guys at the bar, mixed groups. Get your social engine running first. The barrier to expect: the first approach will feel disproportionately hard. Heart rate spikes, you’ll hesitate, talk yourself out of it a few times. That’s just your nervous system misreading a social situation as a threat. Push through the first one and each one after gets easier. No pressure to pull numbers tonight. You’re just g… | /r/seduction | 20/04/26 10:55 PM |
| 2 | How to move from openers to a conversation?It’s less about what you say and more about how you say it. The opener’s job is just to open. Once she’s engaged, you transition into banter and that’s where most beginners get stuck. Think of banter in three levels: Level one is what to avoid: job interview mode. “Where are you from? What do you do? How long have you lived here?” Questions are low risk but they create zero tension and make you sound like HR. Level two is statements about her. Observations, playful assumptions, teasing. “You loo… | /r/seduction | 20/04/26 09:30 PM |
| 27 | Cold approaches are one of the healthiest things men can do.100% agree. Cold approach is self development with a romantic upside, not the other way around. The courage to walk up to a stranger you’re attracted to, manage your own nervous system in real time, read another person, hold a conversation under pressure, and handle rejection without collapsing is genuinely hard. Doing it repeatedly builds something in you that almost nothing else does. That said, there’s a trap in making it purely philosophical. If you go months approaching with zero romantic w… | /r/seduction | 20/04/26 03:22 PM |
| 1 | The limits of looksmaxxing to an unhealthy level as witnessed by the suspected overdose of ClavicularThat’s where an edgey fashion sense and hairstyle can give a man 1-3 points of SMV. There’s a difference between being good looking vs looking good. Looking good is something you can control and most men, excluding genetic outliers, can land above the fuckable line of a 7 with effort. | /r/seduction | 19/04/26 01:38 AM |
| 0 | The limits of looksmaxxing to an unhealthy level as witnessed by the suspected overdose of ClavicularI hear you. And I'm not going to pretend the dating market isn't harder than it was 10 or 15 years ago. It is. The data backs that up and I've never denied it. But I need to push back on one specific claim because it's the one that's keeping you stuck. "Women only want those things from men who are 8-10. Anybody else is seen as a creep." I'm a 5'4" Asian man. I am nobody's 8-10. And I have 20 years of infield proving that claim wrong. https://youtube.com/shorts/ltK3HHvHFv8 Here's what actually h… | /r/seduction | 16/04/26 01:26 AM |
| 1 | The limits of looksmaxxing to an unhealthy level as witnessed by the suspected overdose of ClavicularI’m a 4 out of 10 on photofeeler | /r/seduction | 15/04/26 06:58 PM |
| 2 | The limits of looksmaxxing to an unhealthy level as witnessed by the suspected overdose of ClavicularSorry, corrected: https://youtu.be/LwVYIJXKA8o | /r/seduction | 15/04/26 06:57 PM |
| 2 | The limits of looksmaxxing to an unhealthy level as witnessed by the suspected overdose of ClavicularHow would you rank my looks? https://youtube.com/shorts/ltK3HHvHFv8 Note, a lot of this was when I was overweight even to the point of obesity at 201lb. | /r/seduction | 15/04/26 06:34 PM |
| 6 | The limits of looksmaxxing to an unhealthy level as witnessed by the suspected overdose of ClavicularAge is an asset if you frame it right. Women have genuine fantasies about older men. Confidence, experience, stability, dominance. The silver fox, the zaddy, the man who knows exactly what he wants and isn't apologetic about it. That's a real archetype and it's genuinely attractive to a significant portion of women in their 20s and 30s. I was doing a Chicago bootcamp, making out with a woman in her 20s, had her calling me daddy while she was giving me an over the jeans handjob in the venue. I'm … | /r/seduction | 15/04/26 06:21 PM |
| 15 | The limits of looksmaxxing to an unhealthy level as witnessed by the suspected overdose of ClavicularHeight matters, no point pretending otherwise. But it's also one of the variables you can't control, so spending energy on it beyond acknowledging it is just dead weight on your mental game. I'm 5'4" myself. I've approached when I was thin, fat, and fit. I've approached in plain clothes and dressed well. The difference between those versions of me wasn't height, it was everything around the height. Online dating is genuinely harder at our height because women filter on it explicitly before they … | /r/seduction | 15/04/26 05:55 PM |
| 2 | What made even dating coaches go a bit bl@ckpilled in recent years?Probably around Covid. Happens with age. Measured myself one day and, yep, one inch shorter. | /r/seduction | 15/04/26 04:02 PM |
| 3 | Best way to recover/ avoid hangover?Coconut water. As a professional night lifer, coconut water is the closest thing that will bounce you back the next day. | /r/seduction | 14/04/26 02:22 PM |
| 34 | Is my mediocre dating app experience because of my race?Race is a factor on apps. I’ll be straight with you about that because pretending otherwise doesn’t help anyone. Dating apps have documented bias against South Asian and East Asian men in the match data. You’re not imagining it. But here’s what you actually noticed yourself: you see average looking guys on your campus pulling hot girls in real life. That’s the answer right there. Those guys aren’t winning on apps either. They’re winning in person, where race is a much smaller filter and where yo… | /r/seduction | 14/04/26 02:52 AM |
| 5 | What made even dating coaches go a bit bl@ckpilled in recent years?I’ve been coaching for 20 years and I’ll tell you what was controversial when I started saying it as the first Asian Dating Coach and is still controversial now: race, looks, and height matter. They’ve always mattered. The difference between me and the coaches who are now blackpilling is I never lied about it to begin with. Most of the old guard saying “looks don’t matter” were tall white guys padding their numbers by picking up FOBby Asian girls at college campuses. That’s not game. That’s demo… | /r/seduction | 14/04/26 12:13 AM |
| 2 | How can I make a girl laugh?Humor in a nightlife setting is 20% what you say and 80% body language, timing, and delivery. A smirk and confident energy can make almost anything land. The same line delivered nervously falls flat every time. That said, there are two principles that underpin almost every good piece of situational humor: Exaggeration and reversal. Exaggeration: you take whatever she’s doing and amplify it to an absurd degree. Feel free to steal my Cellphone Opener. If you see a girl on her phone at a bar, walk … | /r/seduction | 14/04/26 12:06 AM |
| 1 | What topics should you talk about with a woman?Wrong question, but it’s the most common one guys ask so understandable. There’s no magic list of topics that women love. The topic matters far less than most guys think. What she’s actually responding to is your comfort level. If you’re relaxed and genuinely engaged, she relaxes and engages back. If you’re tense and searching for the right thing to say, she feels that too and checks out. Here’s the real difference between how men and women communicate: men transfer information. “I went to Tokyo… | /r/seduction | 13/04/26 11:36 PM |
| 4 | How exactly do you handle LMR for women who activate their 'anti-slut defense' before sexIn this particular instance, when she says “We’re not going to have sex tonight” you respond with “Oh thank gos, than you for not pressuring me into having sex. Thank you for asking for my consent.” It’s a reframe. However, one of the most effective LMR move isn’t a response to her resistance. It’s a preemptive. You say it first, before she does. When things are heating up and you sense she’s building toward the objection, you stop, look at her, and say something like “Hey, I just want you to kn… | /r/seduction | 12/04/26 08:16 PM |
| 1 | How to approach in pub in London?You’re overcomplicating this, and honestly you’re in the best possible environment to fix it fast because as a fellow Asian (5’4 Asian American), London is decently receptive to Asians. Now British pub culture has something America doesn’t: cheersing with strangers is not only normal but socially encouraged (as opposed to America where it is normal, but we aren’t obsessed with Cheers like the Brits). People do it constantly, with people they’ve never met. That means you have the most natural, ze… | /r/seduction | 12/04/26 02:40 AM |
| 1 | Best pub or clubs to get girls in LondonHere’s a singles guide on places to go in London. | /r/seduction | 11/04/26 12:34 PM |
| 1 | Any good cold openers for sharing?Thanks! | /r/seduction | 10/04/26 11:26 PM |
| 1 | Why do women reject you but look sad with their head down everytime they see you?I’d have to see your body language, but I’m going with murderhobo vibes until I see differently based on the limited information at hand. | /r/seduction | 10/04/26 11:25 PM |
| 4 | Any good cold openers for sharing?For nightlife specifically, nothing beats the Kickstarter Cheers opener and I’ve been teaching cold approach for 20 years. Make eye contact, smile, raise your glass to mid-chest, say “Cheers.” She cheers back on social autopilot because etiquette basically requires it. You introduce yourself, short exchange, easy exit. That’s the whole opener. Here’s why it’s better than anything situational or clever: it’s a calibration tool. If fewer than 50% of women cheer back, your problem isn’t the opener.… | /r/seduction | 09/04/26 07:59 PM |
| 1 | Question About HooksCompliance tests. The more she does for you, the more invested she is into you. | /r/seduction | 09/04/26 07:55 PM |
| 1 | Anyone here who has success with dating apps?Apps do work and you can go from 0 to 50 matches per month, but most guys are optimizing the wrong thing. You’ve been testing photos and prompts when the real problem is you’re shooting for the male gaze instead of the female gaze. Male gaze photos: gym selfies, cars, group shots where you can’t find yourself, anything that signals status to other men. Women don’t swipe on those. Female gaze photos: lifestyle, warmth, social proof, personality, travel. Photos that make her feel something rather … | /r/seduction | 09/04/26 02:48 AM |
| 1 | How do I overcome the fear of rejection?You don’t think your way out of fear of rejection. You rep your way out. The fastest method I’ve found after 20 years of coaching is immersion therapy through something called the Kickstarter Cheers opener. In a bar, make eye contact, smile, raise your glass to mid-chest, say “Cheers.” She cheers back on autopilot. It’s a social reflex, not a judgment of you. You introduce yourself, short exchange, easy exit. That’s it. No lines, no routines, no pressure. The reason it works for killing rejectio… | /r/seduction | 09/04/26 02:08 AM |
| 3 | How to pull same night laysGood news: you’ve already solved the hardest part. Overt game getting traction means your fundamentals are working. Same night pulls are almost entirely a logistics problem from here. The question you need to ask early, right after you’ve hooked her attention, is some version of “so what’s the story tonight, what brings you ladies out?” Casual, curious, not interrogating. That one question tells you everything. She’s out with girlfriends bar hopping with a set end point? Her friends are the obst… | /r/seduction | 09/04/26 12:49 AM |
| 1 | how to avoid hitting on minors when running day game?Ask them what they’re studying. If they say biology, prelaw, etc then that means they’re in college. If they say anything else, run away as fast as you can. | /r/seduction | 09/04/26 12:44 AM |
| 1 | Why do women reject you but look sad with their head down everytime they see you?I’ll be straight with you: what you’re describing isn’t a rejection pattern. It’s a threat response pattern. Women looking down, avoiding eye contact, walking quickly past you, those aren’t signs of sadness. That’s what people do when they feel unsafe or uncomfortable around someone. Now that may be hard to hear, but it is useful information for you. “Acting confident” and actually reading as confident are two completely different things. You can think you’re walking tall and projecting calm whi… | /r/seduction | 09/04/26 12:38 AM |
| 1 | How Do You Take Your Ego Out of Cold Approaching?The ego problem dissolves when you stop treating each approach as a referendum on your worth and start treating it as data collection. Here’s how I teach it practically. I use what I call the Kickstarter Cheers opener. In a bar, you make eye contact, smile, raise your glass to mid-chest, and say “Cheers.” That’s it. She cheers back on social autopilot because it’s a reflex, not a judgment call about you. Now here’s where it gets useful for your ego question: if fewer than 50% of women cheer back… | /r/seduction | 09/04/26 12:27 AM |
| 1 | Where to meet women?Where are you located? There are singles guides to most major cities | /r/seduction | 04/04/26 05:09 PM |
| 1 | Does structured practice actually improve dating conversations or is it all about going to more dates?“Just approach more” is incomplete. Volume without feedback just reinforces bad habits, which is exactly what you’re experiencing. Start with a reliable, low-effort opener so you’re not burning mental energy before the conversation even begins. In a bar, raise your glass, make eye contact, smile, say “Cheers.” She cheers back on autopilot, you exchange names, you’re in. Full breakdown of the Kickstarter Cheers opener here. Once you’re consistently getting into conversations, then structured prac… | /r/seduction | 04/04/26 12:45 AM |
| 1 | How to approachGlad to have been of help! | /r/seduction | 03/04/26 09:59 PM |
| 2 | How to approachA good way to learn how to approach correctly is with the Kickstarter Cheers Opener. At a bar, you go in with a glass and smile and say, “Cheers! My names XYZ what’s yours?” Because you’re engaging their autopilot response to social etiquette you should be able to get over 50% of people cheersing you back. If you can’t get at least 50% to cheers you back, that means something’s off your subcommunication, body language, facial expressions, energy and/or tonality. So you know to work on that. It a… | /r/seduction | 03/04/26 02:34 AM |
| 3 | 29M. Never dated.Chinese guy, software engineer, NYC, lost 100 lbs, taking care of skin and style, attending social events, and did your first cold approach today. That’s not a guy who’s behind. That’s a guy who just started. I’m Asian American, 5”4, and I also lost 60lb from 201lb. Let me give you the real picture. First, stop worrying about running out of time to date 20 year olds. You’re 29, in shape, financially stable, in New York City. That’s genuinely one of the strongest positions an Asian man can be in … | /r/seduction | 01/04/26 04:35 AM |
| 5 | Where to find hookups on the weekday?Well here’s a Miami guide on pick up venues. But google Miami industry nights https://www.google.com/search?client=safari&hs=1ncp&sca_esv=47ddced43427c821&hl=en-us&biw=428&bih=727&sxsrf=ANbL-n5W60I9PbsM6i_L4BBwErzOUu2EOg%3A1774999238808&kgmid=%2Fg%2F11gfp8x5kd&q=Discotech&shndl=30&source=sh%2Fx%2Floc%2Fact%2Fm4%2F3 Your best bet is to ask hostesses, waitresses, bottle girls, models and strippers where they go. Shit, treat it like a new opener. | /r/seduction | 31/03/26 11:21 PM |
| 3 | Where to find hookups on the weekday?Where do you live? | /r/seduction | 31/03/26 10:21 PM |
| 15 | Where to find hookups on the weekday?I just told you. You have to research your own city. Ask waitresses, bartenders and bottle girls. It’s when and where they go to party when they aren’t working. Typically, Sundays, Mondays and Wednesdays but depends on city. | /r/seduction | 31/03/26 08:26 PM |
| 49 | Where to find hookups on the weekday?Waitresses and strippers work on Friday and Saturday night. So on their nights off, they go out to industry nights which is usually why those nights and venues have generally more beautiful women. Also models and celebrities go out during the weekdays because they don’t want to hang out with normies and bridge & tunnel crowd. | /r/seduction | 31/03/26 08:24 PM |
| 41 | Where to find hookups on the weekday?Industry nights. | /r/seduction | 31/03/26 08:22 PM |
| 5 | Thoughts on “standing out” with your outfit?Standing out is the right instinct but the execution matters. Wearing a 90s oversized fit ironically isn’t a style identity, it’s a costume. There’s a difference between having an intentional aesthetic and just wearing something weird hoping someone finds it charming. Here’s how to actually think about this: First, decide what sexual avatar you want to project. Rocker, bad boy, hipster, suited up, jock, streetwear, whatever genuinely fits your personality and the environments you’re in. That dec… | /r/seduction | 30/03/26 04:36 PM |
| 1 | Tips on opener in night game20 sets with zero sticking is more likely a subcommunication problem than an opener problem. GPT’s read isn’t wrong exactly, but it’s missing the more important diagnosis. Here’s a useful test. Switch to the simplest possible opener: walk up, make eye contact, smile, raise your glass and say “Cheers.” That’s it. No spin, no hand of god, no kino sequence. Just Cheers. Why this matters as a diagnostic: the Cheers opener works by triggering social autopilot. It’s a deeply ingrained reflex. She does… | /r/seduction | 29/03/26 09:34 PM |
| 1 | DayGame Number Texting AdviceFirst text is “Be sure to save this number because it’s the most important one you’ll ever get.” | /r/seduction | 29/03/26 07:32 AM |
| 1 | How to develop chill, low-key confidence and charisma, when repetition doesn't work?The 40k sales calls tell me everything I need to know about what’s going wrong. You got very good at a transactional, scripted process. What you didn’t build is emotional attunement, the ability to read and match someone’s emotional state in real time and respond to the feeling behind what they’re saying rather than just the content. Sales rapport and genuine human connection are different skills. You can be technically competent at one and completely underdeveloped at the other. That’s exactly … | /r/seduction | 29/03/26 06:55 AM |
| 2 | Fears and progress - next steps: rapid fire and shoot for the moonGood self-awareness. Let’s address both the immediate problem and the bigger picture. The immediate fix: volume and desensitization. Five approaches a day is rookie numbers, you said it yourself. The avoidance of 7s and above is a calibration issue your nervous system hasn’t been exposed to enough to normalize. The fix is exactly what you already know: approach the hot ones first, not last. Make it a rule. Walk into any venue and the first approach of the night has to be the most attractive woma… | /r/seduction | 29/03/26 06:19 AM |
| 1 | How far from a bar/club is too far? Roommates in 30s, do they make it a definite "no?"Download the app Hotel Tonight. Problem solved. | /r/seduction | 29/03/26 06:16 AM |
| 3 | Advice for a loner?You’ve correctly identified the core problem yourself: nothing about your situation will change unless you decide to change it. So let’s talk about what actually needs to change. The hard truth first: living 50 minutes from Orlando in an isolated suburb is a lifestyle problem, not a skill problem. You can have perfect game and zero opportunities to use it if your environment produces no social interaction. Logistics rules everything. A guy with average skills in a target-rich environment will al… | /r/seduction | 29/03/26 06:13 AM |
| 1 | Anyone in NashvilleI’ll be there for a bootcamp next month, but Broadway has all the bars you could be looking for. Here’s a list of venues to go to for pickup in Nashville. | /r/seduction | 28/03/26 08:27 PM |
| 2 | Guys who can convert cold leads with no IOIs5’4” average looking Asian guy here. I get zero IOIs as a baseline. So I’ve had to figure this out the hard way. Yes you can convert cold with no IOIs. It’s harder, it requires a cleaner approach, and your margin for error is smaller. But it’s absolutely doable and honestly more satisfying when it works because you built the attraction from scratch rather than just cashing in on preexisting interest. A few things that actually move the needle: First, improve your passive value before you even op… | /r/seduction | 27/03/26 04:03 AM |
| 10 | Fun or creative questions to ask on a date?The goal isn’t to ask interesting questions. It’s to create escalating emotional intimacy. Questions are just the vehicle. There’s a famous 1997 study by psychologist Arthur Aron that went viral via a New York Times piece called “To Fall in Love With Anyone, Do This.” The premise was that 36 progressively personal questions, asked in order, could reliably generate closeness between two strangers. The reason it works isn’t the questions themselves. It’s mutual vulnerability escalating over time. … | /r/seduction | 26/03/26 11:26 AM |
| 2 | Looking for advice on pulling more consistently at bars.You already have the hardest part working in your favor. 6’3”, fit, and socially calibrated enough to read interest. The gap you’re describing is just initiative, and that’s the most fixable problem in this space. For the opener, stop overthinking it. Raise your glass, make eye contact, smile, say “Cheers.” That’s it. You’re not starting a pickup sequence, you’re triggering a social reflex. She cheers back, you exchange names, short banter, easy exit. The nonchalant energy you naturally have act… | /r/seduction | 26/03/26 02:17 AM |
| 1 | Sitting down approach?Yes, regularly. Seated approaches are actually lower pressure than walking stops because she’s not going anywhere and you’re not interrupting her movement. Here’s how I run it for daygame: Walk up calmly, point to the seat one spot away from her and ask if it’s taken. Not the seat right next to her, one seat over. Social etiquette means she can’t reasonably claim she owns the whole bench, and the slight distance doesn’t crowd her. You’ve now sat down without it being weird. Pause for a beat, loo… | /r/seduction | 26/03/26 02:13 AM |
| 1 | Struggling to keep conversations going in clubs.Good news: you already have the hardest part working. Getting a girl to dance with you and creating physical connection is where most guys fail completely. The transition to conversation is a learnable skill. Here’s a simple structure for night game verbal: The opener after dancing doesn’t need to be clever. Lean in, smile, “Hey I’m [name], what’s yours?” That’s it. You’re not trying to impress her with your first sentence. You’re just establishing a name-to-name connection so the interaction ha… | /r/seduction | 20/03/26 03:46 PM |
| 1 | How do you guys learn game?The “just go fail and adjust” approach works eventually but it’s slow and inefficient because most guys can’t accurately diagnose why they failed. You think it was your opener when it was actually your body language. You think she wasn’t interested when you actually ejected too early. Without a framework, random trial and error produces random results. Game has three pillars and you need all three working together: Inner game is your mental and emotional foundation. State control, approach anxie… | /r/seduction | 20/03/26 03:42 PM |
| 2 | Common dating advice does nothing for the average guy actually strugglingThe “just be yourself” problem runs even deeper than you’re describing. For a lot of men, especially ones who grew up in cultures that rewarded academic achievement and deference over social confidence, “being yourself” means expressing a version of themselves that was never calibrated for attraction in the first place. It’s not fake versus authentic. It’s trained versus untrained. The short term versus long term point is also underrated. Relationship advice assumes you’re already in one. Commun… | /r/seduction | 20/03/26 03:39 PM |
| 1 | Approached someone at a clubFirst approach ever and you went in with “my eyes stuck you.” That’s not a pretty awkward direct opener that even experienced guys struggle to land because direct requires strong nonverbals, confident delivery, and zero hesitation to pull off. You had none of those yet and that’s completely fine because it was your first time out. Stop reinventing the wheel. For a beginner in a club environment, the single most effective Kickstarter opener is also the simplest one: walk up, make eye contact, smi… | /r/seduction | 07/03/26 05:04 PM |
| 1 | [Infield Video] "Bloop!" Asian Man Picks Up 3 Irish Girls With The "Pineapples" OpenerThe club thing doesn't even show up until more than half way through the pickup and just any kind of logical excuse to upsell a day2. You're cherry picking an advantage when there are already three natural disadvantages that he's overcoming within seconds with his approach, namely the way he's dressed (he's in a wifebeater for goodness sake), he's short, and he's of a different race. | /r/seduction | 27/08/14 07:13 PM |
| 1 | [Infield Video] "Bloop!" Asian Man Picks Up 3 Irish Girls With The "Pineapples" OpenerInstead of saying hi or hello, he just said "Pineapples." Obviously such a nonsequitor type opener would confuse people, but notice how rapidly he transitioned to frame dominance and humor. It went swiftly from confusing to fun. | /r/seduction | 27/08/14 07:11 PM |
| 1 | Multiple Relationship ManagementCause we're rollin' em out. We have a new blog manager and hope to be more active on Reddit with you guys :) | /r/seduction | 21/12/12 09:28 PM |
| 1 | 50 Shades of Grey: A PUA Wing-Girl Book ReviewFor what? LOL | /r/seduction | 21/12/12 09:27 PM |
| 2 | Is Dating Coaching a Scam? by Columbia University NewsNot smiling is a completely ridiculous and unfield tested piece of advice ever. I teach a lot of guys where smiling is not second nature and trust me, women do not find that attractive at all and it makes approaching them more difficult when you don't smile. | /r/seduction | 01/02/12 07:55 PM |
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