abominable_phoenix Archive

Upvotes	Title	Category	Author	Subreddit	Date (UTC)

Upvotes	Comment on	Subreddit	Date (UTC)
0	we already agree on the principle, we're just not applying it consistently. The OP's point is that the underlying principle is the same in both situations: one person is expected to use their body in a way that primarily benefits the other person, within a one-sided relationship. Whether it's for sex or for physical labor isn't the key issue, it's the principle that is. If it's reasonable for someone to object to being used for sex, it's also reasonable for someone to object to being treated as free labor. To be clear, a friendship, family relationship, church community…	/r/PurplePillDebate	14/07/26 01:32 AM
1	Why do you still want to date? I think antidepressants are being used by both genders, and heck even I was prescribed them for a bit but was only able to get off when I corrected the underlying health issue(s) I'm referring to. I also don't think there is a shortage of either therapists or drugs, so we'll probably run out of food before we run out of drugs, lol. I do agree though that sadly, it is a zero sum game at the moment because, frankly, there isn't any other option when both sides are riddled with health issues. I'm a…	/r/PurplePillDebate	23/06/26 04:54 PM
2	Why do you still want to date? No, that wasn't the message I was aiming to get across, lol. I think we all need to have a healthy debate and work on solving the problem(s), while treating/correcting mental health issues so these issues are less of a problem.	/r/PurplePillDebate	23/06/26 04:29 PM
4	Why do you still want to date? I think that's complicated because, if we take prostate cancer for instance, where does all that money go, into research? Would it surprise you to know that the research is already done, so what is it perpetually funding? Here's a fun fact that improved my prostate's health. Japan's population have significantly lower incidences of prostate cancer (along with breast cancer), and it is attributed to their higher consumption of dietary iodine (10-30x higher than the RDA). It's no surprise though b…	/r/PurplePillDebate	23/06/26 03:18 PM
2	Why do you still want to date? Mental health issues are a silent pandemic and not specific to the female gender.	/r/PurplePillDebate	23/06/26 02:08 PM
2	Why do you still want to date? Do you say the same thing to women who are afraid of men? Yes, because it is irrational to be afraid of all men (and women), or at least in the way you're framing it. The reality is, neither gender has 100% safe track record. We live in a scary world where people with mental health issues make them unpredictable, so I give men the same level of wariness as I do women, but frankly, I find women are much better at hiding it than men, or perhaps I let my guard down more among women than men, so tha…	/r/PurplePillDebate	23/06/26 02:05 PM
-1	Why do you still want to date? In the short term, sure, but these issues seldom exist in isolation, so what typically happens is these health issues (physical and mental) continue to snowball over time and it affects other aspects of their lives and others around them. Sometimes all that is needed is a trigger like food poisoning, or antibiotics, or a really stressful event like a death in the family, for them to not bounce back, and it basically just digs them deeper and deeper, destroying what remains of their life. The eth…	/r/PurplePillDebate	23/06/26 01:30 PM
4	Why do you still want to date? Because this is an echo chamber and is not indicative of the real world. Every other girl I've spoken to has said "of course they want to be cold approached". This sub seems full of people who are stuck in their traumatized state and extremely intolerant of the opposite sex as a result. It's like a person who gets bit by a dog and then hates all dogs or projects that fear onto all dogs. The sad part is these people won't get better until they recognize there's a problem and deal with it. From ta…	/r/PurplePillDebate	23/06/26 11:55 AM
1	How many would you say there are genuinely good guys It was more than a bit of a shock to me when I first ran into it Oh, 100%, I was blown away when I first watched people I'd known for decades behave in this way. It was absolutely surreal, had me asking myself who are these people because I never would have befriended them (or remained friends) if I knew this is how they behaved. But after discussing it with a therapist and doing my own research, I understand now only a minority of people are truly "safe". Most people are extremely intolerant, D…	/r/PurplePillDebate	19/06/26 08:13 PM
1	How many would you say there are genuinely good guys Can you expand on people picking and choosing? I was more referring to an inconsistency in the people/instances these individuals apply the ethics to, almost like a selective moral compass, lol. I feel like a person can't claim to be a "good" person, and then treat some people good and others poorly. A perfect example would be how a person treats their food servers compared to their peers. For me, if a person acts negatively, I will voice my perception and try to get clarity on what happened. If…	/r/PurplePillDebate	19/06/26 06:15 PM
6	How many would you say there are genuinely good guys <20%. In my experience, it's only a minority of both genders that have morals/ethics/principles. Most people just pick and choose which to follow, and I would argue this is worse because it gives others the illusion of them being "good", along with the unpredictability of when they will choose to follow them. <10%. This is complicated because being a "good" person puts a target on your back, so I think a portion may be recovering from those with a lack of morals. <5%. "Fools talk, cowards are si…	/r/PurplePillDebate	19/06/26 10:51 AM
2	Ideas of ways to be less resentful I think the majority of women would be good partners (I see them as more caring, empathetic, sensitive, etc) I think this is a little bit sexist to say, so I don't agree with it. And when dating, it just feels like men put on a performance and will pretend to be whoever they think you’ll like in order to win you over. This applies to both genders. Any ideas on strategies that may help me see things from a different perspective? Stereotypes exist for a reason, they are accurate for a certain perc…	/r/PurplePillDebate	04/06/26 03:42 AM
2	Do you have any kinks that do not involve your partner being in discomfort or pain? You seem to think the pain disappears if you are in the right frame of mind. I think it's a combination of factors, but I mentioned the right frame of mind because nothing will overcome a person's head space as that can prevent/hinder them from relaxing their sphincters which leads to pain. I think the tissue has to physically stretch to make it comfortable. Yes, this is why I mentioned foreplay and butt plugs after a BM's. Or at least that is what worked for my ex and I. Cunnilingus with butt p…	/r/PurplePillDebate	23/05/26 11:05 PM
3	Do you have any kinks that do not involve your partner being in discomfort or pain? Ya, my ex didn't like anal missionary either, I only suggested it for the whole 100% point. I hear you though, my partner and I were together for over a decade before choosing to get pregnant.	/r/PurplePillDebate	23/05/26 10:42 PM
1	Do you have any kinks that do not involve your partner being in discomfort or pain? I'm sorry if I came across as dismissing the pain as that was not my intention and I thought I made that clear by saying "that is a valid concern". Anything on a person's mind that keeps them from being relaxed enough can make it painful, but there are other factors too. It is definitely difficult to reach the right state of mind to relax the sphincters, and if that doesn't happen, it can be painful. A tip I learned from my gay friend that helps considerably was popping in a butt plug after havi…	/r/PurplePillDebate	23/05/26 10:27 PM
2	Do you have any kinks that do not involve your partner being in discomfort or pain? Lol, yes there is a very rare chance for some super sperm to make it if all the planets come into alignment, but aside from abstaining from sex, anal is still the closest a person can get to being safe from the woman getting pregnant. Condoms typically are 87% effective in typical real-world usage, but can be up to 98% effective with perfect use from what I've read. Whereas "perfect use" for anal could be defined as climaxing only in missionary, followed by using a towel to prevent entry, at whi…	/r/PurplePillDebate	23/05/26 09:57 PM
1	Do you have any kinks that do not involve your partner being in discomfort or pain? What is there left to educate for two consenting adults who both enjoy this intimate act which is safe? Are you talking about STI's? Condoms do not prevent STI's 100%, but we can also include tests confirming no STI's between the two of them.	/r/PurplePillDebate	23/05/26 09:08 PM
0	Do you have any kinks that do not involve your partner being in discomfort or pain? I know what you mean and that is a valid concern too, but I was actually referring to how if people are conditioned to think it's "bad", then it will have a psychological effect that prevents them from truly enjoying it.	/r/PurplePillDebate	23/05/26 07:43 PM
-1	Do you have any kinks that do not involve your partner being in discomfort or pain? I think a lot of men want it because they want the woman to do something they find unpleasant. Once I looked up why straight men want anal so much and a lot of responses were along the lines of “making” a woman do something that’s uncomfortable for her just for his pleasure. There are definitely fetishes that incorporate the other party experiencing pain, but you can apply that to any sex act, not just anal. I don't know where you're looking, but for a majority of guys I spoke to, it had nothing…	/r/PurplePillDebate	23/05/26 07:40 PM
1	Do you have any kinks that do not involve your partner being in discomfort or pain? You are thinking of anal in isolation, but it's not because everything is tightly packed inside the human body. We're talking about very small thin layers of skin, to the point where I can feel whatever toy is inside either front or back when I am inside. That means the vaginal nerves are being massaged indirectly even without toys, and depending on position/angle, the same g spot can be hit too. Adding in toys can make a big difference, but it all has to do with trust and comfort with your part…	/r/PurplePillDebate	23/05/26 07:32 PM
-3	Do you have any kinks that do not involve your partner being in discomfort or pain? I think it's important to remember that some men are simply better (more skilled) than others, so just to play devil's advocate, perhaps "these" guys you reference that cause pain don't know the secret to you enjoying it. You brought up anal, and I think it's a perfect example. It may feel unnatural, have a stigma in certain religions, and yet, the male gay community love it. This is not a guy only benefit though, because we all have the same core biology. That means, on top of a partner's skill…	/r/PurplePillDebate	23/05/26 07:15 PM
1	Hypothetical choice of daily visitor: You can only pick one. B. The best way I can describe it is demisexual, though it’s a little more nuanced/complicated for me.	/r/PurplePillDebate	18/05/26 09:23 PM
2	Would you leave this woman? Yes, typo, the vagina is not technically a sphincter, more of a functional one. During childbirth, those pelvic floor muscles/tissues can stretch significantly. The anus has two sphincters though, internal and external, which contract and relax normally. They can also stretch temporarily. Edit: I think I may have misread the situation a bit. If it's not fun for you, don't do it. My ex only liked it in certain positions that she didn't like regular sex in. Lots of lube, lots of foreplay, finger-p…	/r/PurplePillDebate	14/05/26 10:44 PM
3	Would you leave this woman? I think anal sometimes requires even more trust than conventional sex, so maybe she just needs time. The whole "micropenis" mention sounds like fear talking. The size makes no difference (within reason) since sphincters are meant to stretch, look at child birth. She also might have had a bad experience and is traumatized from it, so I wouldn't press the matter. I was big into it with my ex for years, but my kinks aren't deal breakers or required for subsequent partners. I would vote for sticking…	/r/PurplePillDebate	14/05/26 10:31 PM
–	Q4M: what are you visually communicating to others with your style? I’d say I’m drawn to someone who looks put-together without it seeming like it took a ton of effort. Obviously there are times to dress up, but day-to-day I tend to gravitate toward simple, comfortable, and practical. As for turn-offs, it’s less about specific aesthetics and more when things feel very image-focused or high-maintenance. Heavy branding or really flashy styles aren’t really my thing, but it’s not a dealbreaker. I get that everyone expresses themselves differently, I’m just more dra…	/r/PurplePillDebate	05/05/26 09:13 PM
1	Glorification of step dads is harmful to society You seem to be implying it's as simple as asking for custody and getting it, when that couldn't be farther from the truth. Your stat is technically accurate, but taken out of context if we ignore the nuances such as reasonable spouses that yield custody and the extended period it takes to actually get custody when they don't. In most high conflict divorces where the spouse doesn't want the other parent to have custody, it can take years. Given the legal costs associated with that, and the parent…	/r/PurplePillDebate	05/05/26 04:23 PM
-1	Glorification of step dads is harmful to society If you have experience seeing men not ask for custody, that doesn't disprove the feminist family court that the other commenter mentioned. statistically anytime a man asks for custody he is more likely to get it than women but men just don’t ask lol I don't agree with this at all. I have seen first hand what happens when guys ask/fight for custody, and they are not "more likely to get it than women". The courts just delay and delay, focusing on irrelevant topics that only cause stress and anxiet…	/r/PurplePillDebate	05/05/26 03:12 PM
-2	Glorification of step dads is harmful to society Do you have any experience in family court, or are you guessing? I have seen what happens to guys, and CrispyLinettaa's description is 100% accurate.	/r/PurplePillDebate	05/05/26 01:37 PM
–	Q4M: what are you visually communicating to others with your style? On a scale of 1-10, maybe a 7. No issue interacting, very social, but I'm more "aware" of the types of people and tend to withdraw from people who aren't nice (low morals/ethics/principles). The people you surround yourself with are a reflection of yourself. My ex was very curated, and we were together for decades. I think it depends as there are nuances, so it doesn't necessarily preclude a relationship. I value what's on the inside more, and she had a good heart. Do you find yourself more inte…	/r/PurplePillDebate	05/05/26 11:50 AM
–	Do you know your enneagram type? I did some tests and came up with Type 5 core + 4 wing (5w4), with some Type 1 traits layered in. I’m not sure how accurate this is, but it might help in a relationship by explaining things like: “I tend to withdraw when I’m overwhelmed, so I’m not shutting you out.” I think it becomes unhelpful when people treat it as a rigid label, like “you’re a Type X, so you always do this.”	/r/PurplePillDebate	05/05/26 03:50 AM
–	Q4M: what are you visually communicating to others with your style? It depends on where I'm going, but typically I just dress casual (jeans, shirt, spring jacket and some white runners). I suppose the "story" I tell myself through my appearance is that I'm relaxed, easy going, approachable, not trying to impress anyone with flashy clothes or labels as I'm down to earth and grounded. So low materialism, focus on function, ease, and efficiency. I do think my clothing/style matches some of my values, but I also don't think it is a reliable indicator as some people …	/r/PurplePillDebate	05/05/26 03:24 AM