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absurdlivingghost Archive

View 0 posts and 413 comments by absurdlivingghost on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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1

Well, now I feel bad for the last post because you're being nice. But the sentiment that HFA is "something you can just learn your way out of in adulthood" still really, really rubs me the wrong way. Even though I've learned how to "blend in" in most ways, people can deduce that I'm autistic just by seeing me hand flap for a few seconds. Autism can manifest in a lot of different ways, and the extent to which it's concealable varies greatly both by the person and by trait.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/11/17 12:23 AM
1

Seriously, do you not see what condescending bullshit that is? I've been "practicing" how to avoid stimming in public, managing sensory overloads, and facilitating conversation since I was a child. That doesn't mean I've "learned my way out of it," I've just gotten better at concealing the more obvious signs.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/11/17 05:47 PM
1

SWP, high functioning autism is pretty much something you can just learn your way out of in adulthood. Holy shit, really?!? Where can one gain access to this amazing curriculum???
/r/PurplePillDebate14/11/17 11:56 PM
2

Yeah, I've been doing standup for a while, I'm well apprised of the benefits of humor. I'm just so. fucking. sick of the "DUDE YOU'LL BE FINE CHIX LOVE FUNNY GUISE" meme.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/11/17 06:49 PM
2

I must be pretty goddamn far from "the edge," then.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/11/17 06:41 PM
4

One of these is not like the others. State that any preference women say such as being "funny" or "confident" is only true for physically attractive men. Yeah, the others are pretty extreme, but this is basically true. Those traits simply aren't beneficial if you're not attractive to begin with.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/11/17 10:55 PM
1

So a man who elicits 0 attraction won't benefit romantically from a good sense of humour with most people, but a man who's sort of attractive but not exceptional can use humour and other traits to make himself a better prospect. OK, so I'm just too ugly for my sense of humor to be beneficial? I mean, that's fine, it's a consistent position, but whenever I suggest that being unattractive plays a role in my romantic/sexual failure I get downvoted to hell by BluePillers.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/11/17 10:51 PM
3

Good luck with this. I've repeatedly asked people to explain how I'm supposed to reconcile my invariable failure with women with the fact that most people find me funny, and have rarely gotten anything more insightful than "Oh, you just must be lying about being funny." Sometimes they'll say something like "Oh, well being funny is useful for exploring sexual boundaries, that's what people mean." I don't know how they manage to type, their arms must be exhausted from shifting the goalposts.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/11/17 10:35 PM
2

It varies from case to case. It's rare that anyone has outright said "Looks don't matter!" to me, but they've said plenty of things overemphasizing the importance of various non-superficial traits. In particular, nearly everyone I've solicited advice from has suggested that being funny would benefit me in the dating world. I'll link an article saying just that to clarify that I'm not strawmanning or inventing a position. I've learned from experience that being funny isn't helpful in the slightes…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/11/17 12:55 AM
1

Trick question: Incels use their ample free time to actually read and realize that MBTI is bullshit.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/10/17 11:01 PM
1

Well I'm also autistic.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/10/17 01:28 PM
1

I learned about the concept of "nice guys" and how much they were reviled when I was 16, and was hyper-self-conscious about not being one from that point on. I don't really get the guys who say that society conditioned them to be a "nice guy."
/r/PurplePillDebate02/10/17 04:47 AM
2

I've long been insecure that I'm too skinny, though I'm now in a normal BMI and trying to work out more. And yet, I'm still incel. (And I am in the US BTW).
/r/PurplePillDebate02/10/17 04:42 AM
1

Yeah, I've definitely experienced that to varying degrees at different points in my life. It's just that the autistic behaviors I noted earlier (hand flapping, talking to myself etc.) are truly immutable; I can raise my awareness of them, but the impulse to do it never goes away. And the effort put into avoiding them depletes effort that could be used elsewhere, so I'm always playing with something of a deck that's a few cards short.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/10/17 07:38 PM
1

Well, you seem to be saying that social rejection will gradually turn you into a more socially acceptable person, at which point the "be yourself" sentiment is actually valuable. I'm just not sure if you're supporting that notion or not.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/10/17 07:22 PM
1

Honestly not sure if you're being sarcastic.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/10/17 07:06 PM
2

OK, so contra your original post, I shouldn't "act exactly as the person I am on the inside" if I want to be attractive. Thank you for clarifying.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/10/17 06:06 PM
3

Hilarious. Care to answer the question?
/r/PurplePillDebate01/10/17 05:19 PM
7

If you act exactly as the person you are on the inside, be it an asshole or a sensitive, people will be drawn to you. OK, I'm autistic. Are you saying that if I unreservedly engage in hand flapping, talking to myself, and aversion to eye contact-so long as I'm comfortable doing so-it will make me attractive?
/r/PurplePillDebate01/10/17 05:15 PM
2

Yeah, I was just referencing the opening of Annie Hall
/r/PurplePillDebate28/08/17 06:50 PM
1

I think it appears originally in Freud's Wit and Its Relation to the Unconscious.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/08/17 06:44 PM
1

Well, I am autistic, so you may not be interested in my response. That said, if you mean stuff like playing with hair or mirroring body movements to express interest, I try to look out for it but haven't noticed women doing it to me. When it comes to physical touch, it's basically impossible not to notice , but I'm weary of reading too much into it. Some women that I know are just naturally "touchy" people who generally seem to enjoy hugging or touching their friends's shoulders. I knew one woma…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/08/17 05:38 PM
1

Wow, thank you.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/08/17 02:08 AM
1

OK, no worries.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/08/17 04:57 PM
2

Hey, did you get my last message?
/r/PurplePillDebate21/08/17 04:51 PM
1

I'm not gonna post a picture on here, but I can PM one if you want. You seem pretty sane.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/08/17 10:15 AM
1

Oh, well, I've heard that sex is nice, but what I've really been gunning for is admirability.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/08/17 04:01 AM
1

but others are serious about getting better but still can't for some reason. Yep. No amount of "being confident," "being myself," teeth brushing, showering, going to the gym, socializing more, or being funny has made the slightest difference to my situation. I think people here are just incapable of understanding that some of us are just too ugly for anything to help. Aaaand now to be called "defeatist" for accurately describing my life.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/08/17 03:47 AM
1

What kind of posture/body language do I need for women to be interested in me?
/r/PurplePillDebate15/08/17 03:41 AM
1

Yeah that's a way better alternative to self-improvement At a certain point, yeah, it is. None of my self-improvement has improved my situation in the least, so it's probably more prudent to just do things that I enjoy than to continue delusional efforts to be more attractive.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/08/17 11:19 PM
1

Yeah, I don't know, it's mostly that I still have really skinny arms which I think is a turnoff for a lot of women. I could probably sleep easier if I just got more muscular arms.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/08/17 02:11 AM
1

I'm funny too, I do standup comedy and get paid for it. Right now, I meet most prospective partners either from my shows or Tinder, but all just end up blowing me off. Back in college, I usually pursued girls from class or that I met through mutual friends. Same thing back then, but with some outright rejections mixed in.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/08/17 01:56 AM
1

I'm 5'11 and like 160. I do take some solace in that, since I know a lot of guys are insecure about height and I'm fairly advantaged in that regard, but I don't feel it's enough to offset the other issues.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/08/17 01:54 AM
1

I don't think bullies ever called me "ugly." I got some shit for being scrawny in middle school, but that was more ribbing from friends than "bullying." Even now, I'm far more insecure about my body than my face, but "ugly" is a good shorthand for any kind of physical dissatisfaction.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/08/17 12:14 AM
1

Yeah, I mean, the really shitty job is as a cashier, which is not for me but is manageable enough. I'm getting a second job transcribing shit for a university soon, the plan is to basically save up a few thousand dollars from cashiering and then quit. Then I'll still technically be employed as a transcriptionist, but only actually working about 10 hours a week, thereby giving me much more time to look for a decent full-time job.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/08/17 12:11 AM
2

My sexual failure is like Hillary's campaign. Autism is the Comey letter and ugliness is the WikiLeaks disclosures. It's difficult to pinpoint which factor is actually the nail in the coffin.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/08/17 12:08 AM
1

Nothing in particular, it just seems prudent to have money saved up. It'll probably be a healthcare fund if I'm kicked off my parents's insurance before finding a good job.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/08/17 11:59 PM
1

Thanks. I'm also working a shitty job and living with my parents right now, but at least I'm saving money and indeed have some other sources of happiness.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/08/17 11:53 PM
2

You can also attempt to be fuckable to 'regular' women by being interesting, attentive, friendly, receptive, open, funny, witty and dependable. I'm pretty sure all of those adjectives have been used to describe me to varying degrees, and yet I've never had any romantic/sexual success. Jesus, I must be fucking hideous.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/08/17 11:51 PM
2

Yeah, that's often how I see it. I just felt obliged to respond to your post, as I'm a "chronically single" person who doesn't scapegoat women as a whole or bitch about Disney movies like RedPill. Being ugly just sucks.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/08/17 11:50 PM
3

I realize that it's my problem, and not that of women or society as a whole, but when I point out the reason for that problem (ugliness), I get downvoted to hell and accused of being "defeatist." There doesn't seem to be an answer that people find acceptable.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/08/17 11:43 PM
1

I am honest with myself, and am still invariably unsuccessful with women. So, your advice sucks.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/08/17 02:08 AM
1

I don't think so. I remember learning about the concept when I was 16 and realizing how negatively it was viewed, which I think prevented me from falling into any of those patterns of behavior. There have been instances where I got too nervous or tongue-tied to tell someone how I felt, but I acknowledged it was my own issue and didn't hold it against the woman. The only time I've really gotten angry over a rejection was when I told someone how I felt and she gave me a spiel about how she recipro…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/08/17 08:29 PM
1

I don't use such phrasing very often, but when I do, I tend to use "society" to refer to things that occur in multiple, unrelated situations with little or no overlap, likely arising from unconscious influences. For example, I've heard the "Just be yourself" line from multiple people who don't know each other (online and offline), so I tend to think there's some societal reason that people keep saying that (even though it's really bad advice).
/r/PurplePillDebate02/08/17 10:32 PM
1

Most of the top voted responses already had a few threads going, I figured any response to them would get buried.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/08/17 11:12 PM
2

Just to be clear, I wasn't accusing you of saying the part in quotes, it's just a general attitude I've seen here and elsewhere.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/08/17 07:55 PM
3

Looks are a threshold you need to cross. They aren't everything, but you need to reach a certain physical standard to get your foot in the door. And there's the rub. Some of us are too ugly to cross said threshold, so saying things like "Looks don't really matter, you just need them to get your foot in the door" misses the point.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/08/17 06:25 PM
1

I think there's some basis for the notion of society giving bad advice to men, but not in the way that OP is saying; I figured out that "just be yourself" was platitudinous garbage pretty early on. The more pernicious shit is the stuff about how being funny or a good conversationalist is beneficial. People still tell me such things, and I've really just recently figured out that it's BS. Yeah, I'm an adult and can seek information on the internet, but I do like to get advice from people who pers…
/r/PurplePillDebate31/07/17 02:28 AM
1

I've had periods of both high sociability and relative reclusiveness. Neither has resulted in any luck with women. I'm seriously just unattractive.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/07/17 04:20 PM
1

No, I'm at an average BMI and have a pretty skinny appearance.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/07/17 05:59 PM
1

I have worked out, but it hasn't resulted in me being "fit." I'm a slow eater with some digestive issues and it's tough for me to get the sufficient caloric intake to really "bulk."
/r/PurplePillDebate20/07/17 05:33 PM
1

Most of the advice I get here is shit that I've already done (be funny, be confident, get interesting hobbies, go out more, lower your standards, shower, brush your teeth etc. etc.) Am I supposed to genuflect before every learned sage who offers such pearls of wisdom?
/r/PurplePillDebate20/07/17 04:52 PM
1

Yeah, I've been doing standup comedy for a while. Most comics are guys, but there's a lot of women who come to shows, and I've met a fair number of women from adjacent performing arts (sketch, improv, theater etc.) And yet, no one has ever been interested in me. Guess this isn't the ONE WEIRD TRICK that will make me attractive to someone.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/07/17 06:49 PM
1

Yeah, I've fortunately never succumbed to the misogyny that a lot of romantically challenged guys seem to. I probably do have some bitterness, but constantly employing the advice given to you by others and seeing no positive results will do that.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/07/17 03:29 AM
1

Just to be clear, I'm not RedPill, they're awful. But I do acknowledge that my main deficits (ugliness and autism) are my issue and no one else's. Still, it sucks, and I like to vent about it sometimes.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/07/17 09:59 PM
2

I'm well aware that I'm below average SMV, but if I dare use the word for that ("ugly") I'm inundated with responses saying "IT'S AYCKCHYUALLY YOUR ATTITUDE THAT'S THE PROBLEM." What the hell do you want to hear?!
/r/PurplePillDebate18/07/17 07:38 PM
1

Yeah, I'm fucking weird. I flap my hands, have trouble with eye contact, have laughing outbursts, and probably have an awkward, stilted manner of speaking when I say things purely to maintain social niceties. These are things that most people don't have to deal with, and are probably a detriment to my SMV. But I'm also high-functioning in a lot of ways, and most people do seem to like me, so sometimes I just feel fucking ugly.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/07/17 11:06 PM
2

Hasn't made me feel worse, I'm just perpetually unsuccessful at sexual/romantic endeavors and most people are fond of my personality, so I feel unattractive and probably overstate the value of physical attraction at times. Looking at it objectively, I know that my facial features are probably symmetrical enough to preclude me from the "very ugly" segment of the population.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/07/17 08:40 PM
2

OK, you're right, SMV is contingent on some degree of social etiquette. I'm just depressed and find it cathartic to call myself ugly.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/07/17 08:26 PM
1

I agree to the extent that some basic social competence is needed to maintain a high SMV, but I still think that physical attraction is far more important than personality. Basically, I think that a highly attractive guy with no social merits is so unlikely as to be purely theoretical, while I'm pretty sure that very ugly people with good personalities are a relatively common phenomena (and I dare say that I'm one of them).
/r/PurplePillDebate15/07/17 07:58 PM
1

Come on, are there really 8/10 guys with no redeeming personality features? A guy that attractive would have to at least have the social awareness to be well groomed.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/07/17 07:34 PM
3

but if you fall below a certain low threshold in positive personality traits your lack of intelligence, social acumen or your inability to make people feel comfortable around you makes you impossible or very difficult to date long term Yes, "date long term." Attractive people can still have casual sex, which is more than someone like me (who probably is below a 3) will ever have. So, people do want to fuck Eeyore if he's attractive. There's a difference between "struggling" in dating and having …
/r/PurplePillDebate15/07/17 06:47 PM
2

Sure, all else being equal, a "fun" person will be more successful than a "gloomy" one. But the post at the top of this chain said "No one wants to fuck Eeyore," which is bullshit because an attractive person who's also sad is unlikely to have romantic or sexual difficulties. If they had said "No one wants to fuck unattractive Eeyore," that would be about accurate. I'm probably biased, because I'm quite capable of being "fun" and it's done precisely jack shit for me. I just don't really know why…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/07/17 06:17 PM
2

People who are fun to be around are going to be more socially successful that those who aren't, including romantically. Well, if they're attractive. The main issue is that physical traits are far, far more important than someone's mindset, so someone's "gloomy mindset" is highly unlikely to be the source of their lack of romantic success.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/07/17 05:59 PM
1

Yeah, quite a few times. As a ForeverAlone who also has high-functioning autism, one of the refrains constantly shoved down my throat is "ACKSHUALLY YOU PROLLY JUST DON'T NOTICE WHEN WOMEN ARE INTERESTED." With that in mind, I've pursued women who have tended to make physical contact with me (touching shoulders, rubbing stomach etc.), only for them to invariably reject me or blow me off. At this point, I'm usually told "Oh, yeah, some people are just touchy, you shouldn't read too much into it."…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/07/17 07:51 PM
1

I've had enough rejection to become desensitized to it, it's just that I've had nothing but rejection. For some of us, it truly is just about ugliness.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/07/17 07:39 PM
1

Most of the permanently single people I know just don't have the suite of personality traits to make a relationship work. What "suite" of traits is that? I know plenty of people with awful personalities who aren't permanently single.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/07/17 07:36 PM
4

No one is going to be attracted to you if you're depressed and not happy. What? There's tons of depressed people in relationships. Why would you promulgate such a blatant falsehood?
/r/PurplePillDebate12/07/17 01:22 AM
1

Even if they can talk to her, how the hell are they going to go from that to sex? I generally don't expect sex when initially approaching a woman. My nervousness arises from the fact that I'm ugly and she's likely to reject me for it.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/07/17 01:21 AM
3

non-conventionally attractive/"ugly" men who are charming as hell and know how to make a woman laugh can absolutely SLAY, regardless of his looks. Laughed good at this, thanks.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/07/17 07:34 PM
1

I'm also a slow eater due to some sensory issues in addition to having a naturally lean frame. It's not completely insurmountable; I mitigate the stomach issues with Omeprazole and supplement my diet with Ensure. I'm just saying that becoming attractive is a bit more complicated than just "going to the gym."
/r/PurplePillDebate07/07/17 04:48 PM
6

Is it really a widespread thing? I remember learning about the derision toward "nice guys" when I was about 16, and it seemed odd because I'd never thought that being "nice" was sufficient to attract someone. I figured out that looks are all that really matter not long after.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/07/17 03:14 AM
5

I'm skinny and the gym has never done much for me. You have to eat a lot to really get "gains" and I have digestion issues. In any case, you don't have to be deformed to be unattractive.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/07/17 12:36 AM
4

Maybe, but I've still had a fair number of people insist that the real problem is my attitude or that making women laugh is beneficial. I then point out that most people IRL find me very funny, and they scramble to convince me that it's just the wrong kind of funniness or some shit. In general, there just seems to be hostility to the notion that some people have difficulty dating because they're physically unattractive. I'm not really sure why it's such a contentious notion.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/07/17 10:39 PM
3

Incels just get together to wallow in their misery then outright mock anyone who attempts to help them. I don't associate with the /r/incels crowd, but I am an "incel," and can attest that most advice offered is really, really bad. Am I supposed to genuflect before the immense wisdom of everyone who says "You just gotta be confident, maaaan"?
/r/PurplePillDebate06/07/17 10:24 PM
1

Well, obviously I'm not happy with it. I'd much rather be attractive and successful with women. I go through periods of working out, but it never results in much in the way of "gains" and I remain quite skinny. My new job involves a fair amount of lifting, which may give me some tone, but probably won't make me visibly muscular enough to be "attractive." I already do all of the basic hygiene shit that people recommend (keeping teeth white, showering regularly etc.) I've thought about expanding m…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/07/17 11:38 PM
1

People have described me as "charismatic," though. Maybe not the first time I meet someone, but people in various social circles have said as much, and women from those same social circles have rejected me. At a certain point, I'm forced to reach the rather tautological conclusion that people not being attracted to me means that I'm unattractive.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/07/17 09:24 PM
1

I don't doubt that I'm odd, but I know plenty of odd people who have had romantic/sexual success. I still put most of my money on the "ugly" thing.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/07/17 04:32 AM
3

I have (high-functioning) autism, but people still generally find me to be funny and a good conversationalist. I've generally taken women's lack of attraction to me to mean that I'm unattractive.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/07/17 12:18 AM
1

It's made me go from blue to purplish. I still maintain that RP is awful, but the amount of absolutely abysmal advice that comes out of BP ("Just be yourself!" "It's not your appearance, it's your attitude") makes it hard for me to associate myself with them.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/07/17 12:09 AM
5

Which the baseline for is pretty low Jesus, I must be fucking hideous.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/07/17 12:01 AM
2

I was out of work for a while and just recently got a job. I probably have enough disposable income for a prostitute, but not quite enough to travel around all willy-nilly.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/06/17 02:23 AM
2

I'm 24 and would probably do it if it was legal/regulated where I am. As it stands, the possibility of getting caught in a prostitution sting is worse than remaining a virgin.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/06/17 02:50 PM
2

To be fair, that may have more to do with priests being in a position of power over children than celibacy. There's been comparable sex abuse scandals in the Boy Scouts and British entertainers who don't have any stringent celibacy regulations.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/06/17 07:37 PM
1

Nearly everyone in my life finds me funny and it's never done anything for me. It's seriously not worth much if you're ugly.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/06/17 10:58 PM
1

It's pretty much always the "wrong place" and the "wrong women" if you're ugly.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/06/17 07:04 PM
2

FB? You mean Facebook? Is there a PurplePillDebate facebook?
/r/PurplePillDebate18/06/17 09:04 PM
1

Aw, I was hoping there was a kerfuffle.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/06/17 09:00 PM
3

What caused all the [removed] in this thread?
/r/PurplePillDebate18/06/17 08:30 PM
1

Wait, women love wit? When did this happen?!
/r/PurplePillDebate15/06/17 07:41 PM
5

Yep. Every woman I've ever pursued has rejected me or blown me off, so I obviously wasn't attractive to them. The simplest explanation is that I'm physically unattractive, though I'm sure someone I've never spoken to before will be along shortly to inform me that the real problem is the awful personality that they're so sure I have. I've tried working out but haven't had much in the way of "gains." I have a weird relationship with food that I don't feel like explaining right now and am pretty sk…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/06/17 11:47 PM
1

I think I've made some improvements, though they've been slow and incremental. I can definitely look back to high school/early college and see how I used to just kinda hang around girls I was attracted to in hopes that something would happen, when that obviously doesn't work. Now I at least know to get phone number early on and quit trying if she indicates lack of interest. I go through periods of "lifting," but generally don't see many results. It's complicated but basically I have some stomach…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/06/17 12:19 AM
1

OK, but I do approach and then get rejected. So, that's where I am.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/17 11:28 PM
1

Frustration over the lack of effort among incels, you mean?
/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/17 09:15 PM
1

For what it's worth, one of my fellow comedians insists that her (very attractive) sister wants to fuck me and it's largely because I'm her favorite (local) comic. However, she also insists that her sister is really awkward and it's gonna take a couple months for anything to happen. If that ends up panning out, I'll fully cede that being funny is beneficial to sex/romance. Until then, I'm too freakishly ugly for anything else to matter and anyone telling me to just be funny/confident/"myself" ca…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/17 05:58 PM
1

I understand "be yourself," it's just really bad advice. Especially when you're autistic and the same people who say "be yourself" say "don't be autistic."
/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/17 05:55 PM
1

OK, so you think "mock flirting" can be beneficial. Understandable. Do you accept that advice to generically "be funny" is dumb, useless, and worthy of derision?
/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/17 05:41 PM
3

Very few people are actually incel in that they've tried time and again only to fail. TIL I'm one of the "very few."
/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/17 05:26 PM
1

It can vary a lot based on the situation and is often highly contextual. Sometimes it's highly absurdist, sometimes it's a dry quip, sometimes it's a dumb joke about pot or alcohol to break the ice. Regardless of what you're getting at, the fact remains that many people (including the OP) categorically say that "being funny" is advantageous to cultivating romantic relationships, and I know with pretty good certainty that I am funny. If you're trying to say that making "shy innocents blush" is th…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/06/17 03:26 AM
2

Using humor on a date is "platonic?" You're not making a whole lot of sense.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/06/17 01:53 AM
2

Not really sure what you're getting at. The OP was saying that "being funny" is conducive to being attractive, when my experience indicates that it clearly isn't. You said that I can't explain how I use my sense of humor to make things happen, but I can: I make women laugh while hanging out platonically (or, rarely, on a first date). I then ask for a date (or second date), and am blown off or rejected. So, I do try to use my sense of humor to make things happen. It doesn't work, hence how I know…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/06/17 01:41 AM
2

Wait, I thought the post I was responding to said "be funny," not "use your sense of humor to try to make things happen."
/r/PurplePillDebate10/06/17 01:24 AM
3

"Be yourself: be you but don't exactly bring up your undesirable qualities without being asked. Let the crazy out slow." If that's what is meant by "be yourself," say that instead of "be yourself." Be funny, be interesting, just don't be rude is all that advice is saying. Yeah, "funny" and "interesting" are among the top adjectives used to describe me and I don't think I'm any ruder than the average person. Not buying it.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/06/17 08:57 PM
1

How tall do you need to be for lifting to not matter? At 5'11 I'm not one of the guys insecure about my height, but not exactly "tall."
/r/PurplePillDebate05/06/17 06:45 PM
1

Would you be willing to PM with me?
/r/PurplePillDebate04/06/17 12:13 AM
1

Really? I feel like /r/AskHistorians may get salty if I start talking about my ugliness in the middle of a discussion on the Treaty of Versailles.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/06/17 06:29 PM
1

What do you recommend? I'm an "incel" but don't set foot in the /r/Incels cesspool.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/06/17 06:25 PM
2

Damn, guess I find another thread to shoehorn comments about my sexual frustration into. Thanks for the heads up.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/06/17 06:22 PM
1

Is this replacing the Incel megathread?
/r/PurplePillDebate03/06/17 06:12 PM
1

personality consists of demeanor, sense of humor, intelligence, charisma, dominance, confidence, mannerisms and all the other non-physical traits that make up a whole person. I'm aware that "personality" means more than "niceness," it's just that the traits you mention have never been beneficial for me. So, I'm left to conclude that it's mostly my looks holding me back.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/06/17 05:19 PM
4

Just because you have a witty sense of humor, doesn't mean you know how to apply it. I use it to make people laugh, including women that I'm pursuing. And yet, none of them have ever been attracted to me. What is this super-secret application of wit that I'm missing?
/r/PurplePillDebate01/06/17 02:45 AM
4

We really just need to stop allowing Incels to speak in non-Incel assigned threads. I'm sorry. I just can't help myself when I see people say things like "The real problem is your attitude" or "Being funny/witty will make you attractive." It's just too inane not to counter.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/05/17 11:14 PM
1

anyways you can't be a male feminist if you're scared of women. Feminism is defined as seeing that women are people and not that different from men. Being scared of women is a type of misogyny. I don't think I've ever heard that and I don't know how I feel about it. I accept the premise that women aren't that different from men, but they're different in a pretty important capacity, namely that I see them as potential romantic or sexual partners. This gives them a capacity to reject me that's ent…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/05/17 08:53 PM
1

Alas, I do not.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/05/17 05:08 PM
2

My sense of humor doesn't "help people out of their sexual inhibitions." That's the point. Your OP implied that humor itself can be "seductive," which is demonstrably false for all of my endeavors. I didn't say anything about STEM intelligence. I have a large vocabulary and am often called "witty," both of which I would assume to be relevant in social contexts.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/05/17 10:21 PM
1

Well, depending on his immigration status, it can be a viable means of avoiding deportation.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/05/17 09:54 PM
1

Those who lack these traits insist they don't matter. It's best to ignore them. Bahahaha. I say those traits don't matter because nearly everyone in my social circles say that I'm intelligent and funny, and said traits have done precisely jack for me in terms of sex and romance. "Those who lack these traits" my ass.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/05/17 09:46 PM
1

Maybe the girls you like are equally as shy as you, find you attractive after all, but one or neither of you has enough figurative balls to try, or even give the other a chance to try. Yeah, this line doesn't really work for those of us who consistently try and fail.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/05/17 01:27 AM
2

They probably exist, but the few times I thought I noticed them in my direction I was wrong.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/05/17 01:25 AM
1

I'm sure it's helpful if you're already attractive, but as an ugly person and good conversationalist, I can attest to it not being worth much in isolation.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/05/17 03:17 AM
1

I don't know what "riff and the raff" means and I'm definitely not a bimbo cheerleader. I'm just amazed that anyone could think that speaking knowledgeably and intelligently in social situations is a reliable way to be romantically or sexually successful.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/05/17 08:11 PM
1

I'm not aware that they do...
/r/PurplePillDebate25/05/17 07:50 PM
1

What would you say is the ratio between personality, social skills, physical attractiveness, and wealth/power. Physical attractiveness is around 90%, the rest comprise varying degrees of the remaining 10%.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/05/17 07:47 PM
1

An area of knowledge is one. Read voraciously on a few topics so that you can speak intelligently and knowledgably in social situations. You're joking, right?
/r/PurplePillDebate25/05/17 07:42 PM
1

Is ugliness a negative emotion?
/r/PurplePillDebate22/05/17 08:56 PM
2

I have tiny ones every day, as I'm a 24 year old virgin and very much feel that I've squandered my youth. It tends to flare up when I get a Tinder or Bumble match who I have nothing in common with and don't really want to talk to, as I don't know how much short-term agony from small talk I can muster just to get a slim chance of finally extinguishing my forever-aloneness.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/05/17 02:18 AM
2

There's definitely a lot of misogyny among the sexually frustrated, no doubt. I just wanted to share my take since you specifically solicited "incel" commentary (though I try to avoid calling myself such).
/r/PurplePillDebate20/05/17 11:55 PM
1

How can I be a "sad loser" when I have people like you offering such magnanimous advice? Perhaps next you could assume that I have bad hygiene and tell me to "shower more," that certainly never gets old.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/05/17 11:02 PM
1

Oh, "help." That's it! I need help. Why, oh why, didn't I cross paths before with the learned sage /u/cami9x?!?
/r/PurplePillDebate20/05/17 10:59 PM
1

Thank you, complete stranger, for informing me how terrible my personality is.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/05/17 10:50 PM
2

I don't blame women. I regularly say that I'm alone because I'm unattractive, at which point my inbox gets inundated with messages saying "IT'S ACKCHYUALLY BECAUSE OF YOUR ATTITUDE."
/r/PurplePillDebate20/05/17 10:43 PM
11

I'm already an ugly man, so I guess I'll take the one with more familiarity and less menstruation.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/05/17 12:22 AM
1

Fair enough, but it's a lot easier to facilitate "sexual chemistry" if you're attractive.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/05/17 06:50 PM
1

They don't know how to talk to people, connect with people, relate to people, or allow people to see whatever inner rewards they posses. Nah. I can easily make people laugh and it's never done me any good. It's seriously just about physical appearance.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/17 02:24 AM
1

You make "one blowjob" sound almost trivial.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/17 02:14 AM
5

I have mixed feelings on the advice therein; as a literal autistic person, "don't be autistic" is harder than it sounds, and curbing my more obvious symptoms is far from enough to be attractive. However, I do think that the concept of "Chad" is nebulous to the point of being useless and deserves to be criticized. I mostly think it's lame that they up voted something with the words "retarded" and "faggot" when they make a big deal out of "standing against hate speech," and I do think that such ho…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/17 10:00 PM
5

Is /r/TheBluePill trying to recruit for RedPill? I can't think of a better way to make sexually unsuccessful men feel even more frustrated and alienated than to use "autistic" as a pejorative and to describe them as "socially retarded" and "bitter faggots:" https://www.reddit.com/r/TheBluePill/comments/6ajhui/literally_the_truth_about_most_of_mgtowtrpincels/?st=j2nmmgt5&sh=b4e3db41
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/17 06:57 PM
1

Not a whole lot. I get my hair cut every few weeks and attend to other basic matters of hygiene like showering, deodorant etc. I've considered expanding my wardrobe, but I don't have the best eye for fashion so I'd probably want someone with me while buying clothes, and I'm not sure that anyone I know is particularly fashionable. BTW, am incel.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/05/17 06:00 PM
1

Are my "immutable characteristics" my autism or my physique?
/r/PurplePillDebate08/05/17 09:02 PM
2

I thought "horse"=="whores"
/r/PurplePillDebate08/05/17 08:52 PM
2

I get paid to do standup and have consistently been "the funny one" in my social circles, and I am the alonest of ForeverAlones. Make of that what you will.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/05/17 03:59 AM
1

I'm in the process of lowering my standards. I'm supposed to get coffee with someone who has a kid this week and that would have been a deal breaker for me a year ago. Oh, and I'd be excited to have a Tinder match with the woman in that picture BTW.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/05/17 09:29 PM
1

It's pretty mild as far as kinks go, it's pretty much just a light variant of BDSM.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/05/17 02:39 AM
8

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Elite_Daily#Controversies_and_criticism In July 2013, it was discovered that many of Elite Daily's writers were using fake names and profile photos that were actually of unrelated models.[14] In a September 2013 interview with TechCrunch, founder David Arabov revealed that he publishes all of his articles under the pseudonym "Preston Waters".[2] At least five other in-house writers were also publishing with pseudonyms. Elite Daily's staff was described in the TechCr…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/05/17 02:27 AM
1

Obviously, we just need to be ourselves, while also changing everything about our personalities.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/05/17 06:39 PM
1

I don't think there's any conspiracy against ugly guys, it makes perfect sense that most women wouldn't want to sleep with an ugly person. I generally see more denial that ugly guys exist at all, as evidenced by every time I discuss my appearance over at BluePill.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/05/17 10:15 PM
1

Well, my computer dictionary defines "nice" as "pleasant; agreeable; satisfactory." They don't sound very pleasant or agreeable, so I'd say not. I don't really see many people unironically call themselves "nice guys" on here. I know that I only make a point of saying that I'm a generally pleasant person (or "nice") when /r/TheBluePill insists that the only plausible reason for my lack of success with women is that I'm an unpleasant person with an awful personality.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/05/17 09:38 PM
2

I know, since I've had nothing but rejection. Hence how I know wit and humor aren't very useful.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/04/17 01:11 AM
2

Right, and people as ugly as me don't meet that minimum. This is a thread about things you'd say to yourself.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/04/17 11:06 PM
2

Because "myself" is quite witty and funny, and has never done anything for me. "Confidence" is less natural for me, but my efforts in that area have still resulted in zilch.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/04/17 11:01 PM
3

You're right, I probably just haven't been myself enough.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/04/17 10:57 PM
9

"Physical attraction is all that really matters, being confident/funny/witty/"yourself" will get you precisely jack."
/r/PurplePillDebate28/04/17 10:36 PM
1

If I think a woman is interested, I usually ask her to coffee. And I usually get blown off, or the coffee date goes reasonably well but they blow me off when I follow up.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/17 08:53 PM
2

I make funny comments when interacting with people. I wasn't suggesting that the mere fact of doing standup makes me attractive, I meant more that getting paid to do it suffices as pretty concrete evidence that I'm funny; I don't think people are just blowing smoke up my ass when they say "absurdlivingghost is really funny."
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/17 08:21 PM
4

I wish Joseph Merrick had lived to see /r/TheBluePill. Then he'd know that the real problem was his attitude.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/17 06:23 PM
2

Well, I didn't want to toot my own horn, but I'm pretty confident on the witty/funny front because I've been doing standup for a while and have had some success, and I've often been considered "the funny one" in my various social groups. I've probably shot outside my "league" a few times, but I generally just pursue women who I think are displaying signs of interest; there's no specific "type" I've consistently gone after. I've pursued women I wasn't really attracted to because I thought they li…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/17 05:52 PM
3

Yeah, I know lifting+style could help, I just have some stomach and sensory issues that make "bulking" a bit difficult, and as such I don't see a lot of results from working out. I mostly made my original post because people have told me that I'm average as is, and I'm pretty sure that I'm witty+funny, which makes me really dubious of the OP's premise.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/17 05:38 PM
3

I do. It hasn't worked.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/17 05:29 PM
2

It is understandable that those cursed with genetic disadvantages in this area can sometimes end up somewhat bitter when they find out that their understanding of javascript isn't particularly compelling for women. Hey, man, I can give a mean definition of an immediately-invoked function expression.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/17 04:58 PM
6

Average looking dudes that have passable social skills are outgoing, witty, creative, funny and confident don't have problems with being attractive to women. Jesus, I must be fucking hideous.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/17 04:57 PM
1

I don't have a rigid ranking system for all of the women I talk to, but I talk to most of the women that I match with on Tinder and I can only assume that some of them are comparable to my "SMV." My offline pursuits have been fruitless. Some were probably out of my league, but I generally pursue women who I think are displaying signs of interest. And I'm always wrong.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/04/17 11:50 PM
1

I've pursued women that I wasn't really attracted to over Tinder, and they've tended to blow me off just like anyone else. I'd guess that they're able to attain men more attractive than me, and that women less attractive than me are rare enough that I seldom encounter them.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/04/17 10:45 PM
1

I take Omeprazole to mitigate some of my stomach issues, though they can still flare up if I eat too fast. I also drink Ensure to put on some extra calories, but that can only take you so far. If I give working out another go, I'll probably implement some protein powder as well.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/04/17 07:09 PM
1

Yeah, I'm not averse to that, but that just puts me back at "scrawny" which isn't much better. I'm thinking about trying the "Brad Pitt from Fight Club" diet/workout, but I'm not sure if I can even pull that off.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/04/17 05:50 PM
1

I'm hardly "in good shape," I'm "skinny fat" which you yourself said is bad. And I don't think I've ever sent you a picture.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/04/17 05:47 PM
5

I wouldn't say I'm 0/10, probably around 3/10. But the idea that the real problem is my personality is just BS. I'm generally well-liked and can easily make hold conversation and people laugh, including women I've just met who soon after reject me or blow me off. Though I'm guessing that the goalposts will now be shifted so that "good conversationalist" and "sense of humor" aren't really part of personality.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/04/17 05:43 PM
3

you would have to be so ugly that there is literally nobody at your level, or so few that you're unlikely to run into them. Believe it or not, we exist.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/04/17 05:21 PM
3

You mean I'll be having absurd amounts of sex afterward? I agree.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/04/17 09:24 PM
8

In light of the learned sages who have informed me that the real problem is my attitude, I am implementing radical changes to my attitude over the next 72 hours. Expect several hundred posts from me saying "Oh no, I'm glad that no one finds me attractive!"
/r/PurplePillDebate15/04/17 09:15 PM
1

Seriously, would autism be a benefit, or would that be laying the "awkward mannerism" on too thick?
/r/PurplePillDebate12/04/17 08:39 PM
1

I'm skinny with dark hair and eyes, and have high-functioning autism. What's up?
/r/PurplePillDebate12/04/17 08:33 PM
1

32/50. Pretty appropriate, since I have an HFA diagnosis. And I identify as blue, though I may fit in better with the "purple" crowd.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/04/17 02:20 AM
1

Well, "personality" covers a lot of territory. I'm not saying that they just consider me a "nice guy" or whatever, I'm saying that I'm generally considered to be very funny, interesting, and a good conversationalist. I've been told that these are desirable qualities (by everyone, not just women), but apparently not. Strangely, you get to see what's behind the door marked "Yes" more often if a woman is a smidgen annoyed by or slightly unnerved by your personality Oh, believe me, I've annoyed wome…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/04/17 09:41 PM
11

The general hostility to the premise that being physically unattractive can be a significant challenge in the dating world. If I ever dare to say that I'm unattractive, my finger is barely off the "save" button before my inbox is full of responses saying "IT'S ACKCHYUALLY YOUR ATTITUDE THAT IS THE PROBLEM."
/r/PurplePillDebate09/04/17 03:09 AM
1

3/10. Poorly.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/04/17 02:56 AM
1

While looks definitely get you interest, and can get you a long way, they definitely don't automatically seal very many deals. OK, but some of us can't get any attention, because of our (lack of) looks. Do you see why they're considered important?
/r/PurplePillDebate07/04/17 06:57 PM
1

improving them makes you more charming and charismatic and thats what people will gravitate to. charisma changes the rules completely for people who have it. I mean, if you're reasonably attractive. I know from experience that it's not worth much if you're ugly.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/04/17 04:35 AM
2

Probably because looks are the most important variable in attraction, and shit like "confidence" and "charisma" play a comparably minor role.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/04/17 11:52 PM
1

I think we've talked about this. I've gone through a lot of phases of working out, not seeing results, then getting frustrated and quitting, I think because I have trouble getting enough calories. I'm open to trying again, I just want to make sure I have a way to get calories/protein so I can actually see results.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/04/17 03:17 AM
1

Working on the first, contemplating the second, and I stay pretty clean-shaven.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/04/17 02:50 AM
2

I can only speak to my own experiences, but I largely disagree. Most women I've pursued have been complimentary of my personality, so I'm left to conclude that it's mostly appearance holding me back. I do have high-functioning autism, but my social skills aren't that bad; going by your other thread, I don't talk loudly in quiet places or need to be explicitly told when to leave. I have a pretty good gauge for humor and what jokes are appropriate to make at what times.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/04/17 08:28 PM
2

Many incels main problem is that they have bad social skills and they don't have 8/10+ looks to make up for it. Yep. Autism and ugliness have been a difficult combination. Though I'm sure that the real problem is my attitude.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/04/17 07:56 PM
4

I'm not only likely to be alone for the rest of my life, but people will assume that I'm a bad person because of it. I really wish I could spit that rather than swallow it.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/04/17 07:48 PM
1

You know where there's legal escorts they do STD tests regularly right? Don't think I knew that, but it makes sense. That would ease some of my apprehension. And yeah it won't stop you feeling lonely but listen what it will do is demystify sex for you and I guarantee that will help your mental state. It will make you realise the act of banging is not some big deal despite how people hype it up. It's just one of them things. Yeah, one of my fears is finally having sex with someone I care about, a…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/04/17 09:32 PM
3

I don't have a job and am trying to get out of my parents's house, I really don't have a lot of money. And I have other misgivings about prostitution: I'm a bit of a hypochondriac, so being with someone I didn't know well who's had a lot of partners would probably give me some STD anxiety. And, as others have pointed out, it would only satiate the physical component, it wouldn't quell the loneliness or feeling of undesirability, and actually might make them worse. Like I said: high risk, low rew…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/04/17 09:21 PM
2

Travel is expensive and I don't have a lot of money, that's part of the issue.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/04/17 09:13 PM
5

I've proposed using "unintentionally celibate" rather than "involuntarily celibate;" all I'm trying to convey is that I'm not deliberately sexless like a Buddhist monk, priest etc. I'm aware that I could theoretically end my celibacy by getting a prostitute, it's just that the risks would likely exceed the rewards.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/04/17 07:06 PM
7

I think that board is disgusting and one of the reasons I generally avoid calling myself an "incel." I usually opt for "ForeverAlone."
/r/PurplePillDebate01/04/17 06:55 PM
10

The Munsters. If the mother was a vampire, and the father was a Frankenstein, why was the son a werewolf?
/r/PurplePillDebate01/04/17 04:39 AM
1

Eh, I'm a desperate incel, but probably not. I've had some female friends who were pretty hard to get along with, and some whose lifestyles I probably couldn't keep up with.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/04/17 01:01 AM
3

I've never seen any indication that a sense of humor is an advantage. People have told me I'm funny for as long as I can remember and I'm a total "incel."
/r/PurplePillDebate30/03/17 12:41 AM
1

It's generally in puberty. I didn't even get them that much in my teens, which made the recent one all the stranger.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/03/17 11:50 PM
1

My attitude toward friendship after rejection is contingent on a lot of variables. If it's someone I met through Tinder, I'm generally not going to make an effort to maintain a friendship since that's not what I was looking for the in the first place. If it's someone I had a preexisting social relationship with, it depends on the nature of the rejection; I can still be friendly with someone who blew off my invitation to get coffee, not so much with someone who said they had feelings for me and t…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/03/17 06:56 PM
2

You're obsessed with surfaces, sexual attraction is so much more than that, including the shallow parts. Eh, not really. I've had plenty of experiences where I had a connection with someone but they weren't attracted to me.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/03/17 07:49 PM
2

I had a wet dream last night. First time since I was 15 (I'll be 24 next month). Weird.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/03/17 08:40 PM
3

The issue is more pronounced in MBTI than the rest of psychology. The very next sentence of the Wiki article is: Unlike some personality questionnaires, such as the 16PF Questionnaire, the Minnesota Multiphasic Personality Inventory, or the Personality Assessment Inventory, the MBTI does not use validity scales to assess exaggerated or socially desirable responses. And that's just one criticism among many.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/03/17 09:53 PM
6

It's not as useless as a horoscope, but that's a pretty low bar. It's just a very vague and subjective metric that doesn't tend to stand up to scrutiny: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Myers–Briggs_Type_Indicator#Criticism I don't think it's the worst thing in the world, just something that makes my eyes glaze over when I see it on here, or someone's Tinder profile.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/03/17 09:10 PM
19

My opinion is that Myers-Briggs is bunk regardless of one's pill affiliation.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/03/17 08:18 PM
2

I was a film snob from middle school onward, far more likely to indulge in Eraserhead or Solyaris than anything "Hollywood." If my bitterness arose from unmet wish fulfillment, it wasn't Hollywood doing it to me.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/03/17 04:56 PM
1

I'm still really dubious of placing a higher premium on "social awareness." I've been reading articles like this for a while, and it's just all so vague and subjective. I mean, it lists "touching you" as a sign of interest, but that's exactly the kind of thing I've misinterpreted in the past. And stuff like "smiling" is so vague as to be useless. Is there some more authoritative source signs of attraction that I should be deferring to?
/r/PurplePillDebate23/03/17 02:05 AM
3

Sienfield (Did anyone really believe broke and unemployed George could get beautiful girl after beautiful girl??) I don't think George was supposed to be a "nice guy," though.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/03/17 01:42 AM
1

Okay, what you are saying here is you are bad at reading social cues, but you don't want to admit it. I'm saying that I'm prone to reading too much into potential signs of interest, which is fundamentally different than reading too little into them. How can I simultaneously notice too many potential signs of interest while also not noticing them? The girl who said she would have dated me knew that I was a bit of a sad sack and may have just been trying to raise my self-esteem. I know. It's hard …
/r/PurplePillDebate22/03/17 11:33 PM
1

or you simply missed the social cues to realize that women have been attracted to you. Doubt it, I've misread social cues the other way. I had a friend who was initiating a lot of physical contact with me, such as stomach rubbing, and thought she was interested in me, but she just gave me a spiel about her life being "complicated" and then fucked my best friend. Someone else once told me that they would have dated me if I asked when we went to school together, but I don't put a lot of stock in i…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/03/17 10:44 PM
1

They were ugly?
/r/PurplePillDebate22/03/17 10:23 PM
3

In my experience this is all true. Well, I've always been told that I'm smart, funny, and a good conversationalist, but no one's ever been attracted to me. I guess every woman I've pursued is just an extreme outlier who isn't attracted to said qualities.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/03/17 09:46 PM
3

My point is a lot of guys are taught that it does. They are taught they don't even have to work hard, that they just need to be themselves, and be a gentlemen, and be a nice guy, and girls will like them. It's more than that. I've been told that being "funny" is beneficial, that being confident is beneficial, that being smart or able to hold a conversation was beneficial. It was quite liberating to realize that all of that is bullshit and physical attraction is the only thing that matters.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/03/17 07:34 PM
6

Think about the reaction youd get (either as a guy or a girl) if you said "yeah, you seem nice, but theres something weird about the way you text me. Youre pretty chubby, and i find that sexually unappealing. I get a vibe from you that a romantic relationship would be very uncomfortable with me. I would be judged poorly by my peers for giving you a chance. You have a lot to work on before asking someone out in my league". Ugh, I wish people said this. It would be a million times better than the …
/r/PurplePillDebate22/03/17 07:19 PM
1

It's kinda hard to know how my body language comes off since I can't see myself from the outside, but I have high-functioning autism and have to make a pretty deliberate effort to maintain eye contact, keep myself from stimming too much etc. It's a lot of balls to juggle and is probably part of the problem. Anyway, thanks for actually engaging me in discussion. A lot of my interaction here is just RedPill trying to recruit me or the aforementioned rhetoric about me being "defeatist."
/r/PurplePillDebate21/03/17 11:34 PM
1

Are "tells" stuff like seeing if a woman plays with her hair, mirrors your body movement etc.? Because I've been aware of that for a while and just never notice women doing it around me. I've had countless conversations with people about my issues with women, and advice just tends to consist of the usual BS like "be more confident," "learn to love yourself" etc. I don't have anything tangible to lose by getting more experience flirting, I'm just weary of getting my hopes up. Blue and Red Pillers…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/03/17 10:38 PM
1

I generally don't know someone's turn-ons when I'm just getting to know them. I don't really know what you mean by "play with" them. I'm generally good at reciprocating banter and getting women to laugh, which I've been told is important to flirting, but fuck if I actually know. Maybe I do have deficits when it comes to flirting, but after all of the other progress I've made and its lack of results, I have my doubts that getting better at flirting will be the real ONE WEIRD TRICK to finally make…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/03/17 09:10 PM
1

I do strive to be the best version of myself, but it's not because someone told me a nebulous platitude. Even if we accept that such is the obvious connotation of "just be yourself," it's not very helpful for someone like myself who's just physically unattractive. I am more confident and relaxed talking to women than I once was, but it hasn't done any good. Nor has the fact that I'm regularly described as funny, smart, and interesting. So, I'm really just left with this crazy idea that I'm physi…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/03/17 07:57 PM
5

I'm anti-RedPill, but as a sexually frustrated young man, I can see how they could appeal to other people in my situation. A lifetime of rejection can facilitate misogyny, and when paired with the kind of dichotomous, "black-and-white" thinking that you mention, can lead to dehumanization of women and a tendency to regard them as a monolith (i.e. AWALT). And, loath as I am to give TRP any credit, they do tend to acknowledge that physical appearance is the most important component of attraction, …
/r/PurplePillDebate21/03/17 07:31 PM
1

I'm not familiar with RP's conception of "game" either, I was only using the term because you did. Anyway, "sense of humor" and "being funny" are often listed as attractive qualities, so I figured that it was relevant to however you were defining "game."
/r/PurplePillDebate18/03/17 11:57 PM
1

Dude, indiscriminate swiping is a thing and none of my Tinder matches have resulted in any success. A lot don't even result in a response back. It's theoretically possible that my lack of "game" is to blame, but people regularly tell me that I'm among the funniest people they've ever met, so that should count for something. I just don't take the mere fact of a match as evidence that I've "passed" the looks threshold.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/03/17 11:07 PM
1

That's a rough estimate, it could be closer to 150 than 200, over nearly three years of using Tinder. It's possible that a lot were from "indiscriminate" swipes, and that others have found me barely passable, and ignored me when they matched with someone better.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/03/17 10:56 PM
1

That includes girls that I "matched" with and sent a message, but got no response. I don't put a lot of stock in the mere fact of getting a "match," since a lot of people are pretty indiscriminate with their swiping.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/03/17 10:46 PM
5

If I've understood correctly, women judge looks on a "pass/fail" basis, and the extent of their attraction is molded by other factors. I've regularly been told that I have qualities that would be desirable in a partner (sense of humor, good listener etc.), so I find it entirely valid to speculate that I'm just failing the initial "pass/fail" assessment.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/03/17 10:35 PM
2

I was texting to confirm, since we scheduled it a few days prior. Pretty glad I did that, otherwise I probably would have just been stood up.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/03/17 08:04 PM
2

I mean the public humiliation of being caught in a prostitution sting. If I dated a gold digger, people might make jokes about it, but that's not exactly as bad as having your face on a milk carton.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/03/17 07:09 PM
6

It kinda depends on how you define "pursued." If you include every woman I've spoken to on Tinder, it's probably in the hundreds. Scaled back to people I know IRL that I've tried to take things further with, maybe around 50 with varying degrees of seriousness. I don't always, or even often, get a "reason" for rejection. They usually just stop responding to texts/give me the "Oh yeah I'll call you if I'm free" runaround/start sleeping with one of my friends etc. I'm guessing that they do so becau…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/03/17 07:08 PM
2

It's illegal where I am, and the humiliation+legal penalties for being caught would potentially be worse than my current situation.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/03/17 07:01 PM
7

Every woman I've ever pursued has rejected me.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/03/17 06:59 PM
1

Yeah, I know. I made a post yesterday where I said that I generally identify as "BluePill," but find them annoying at times, and their love of that phrase and insistence that everyone should understand its implications is among those annoyances.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/03/17 06:59 PM
6

I don't understand your confusion. I'm trying to achieve sex and/or romance. I don't really like the term "incel," since I could hypothetically just get a prostitute, but it's the term that most closely approximates my situation and is understood by most people here.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/03/17 06:56 PM
1

I've put on some weight this past year (skinniness is a big insecurity for me), but I'm still not in the best shape. I've gone through a lot of phases of working out without seeing results, so I want to make sure I have a plan to get my recommended caloric intake before I start attempting to get in shape again. Even if physical appearance isn't the main issue, it doesn't help that most people I talk to about this IRL just offer variations of "BEE YOUR SELF," "BEE MORE CONFIDENT," or other such p…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/03/17 06:51 PM
1

Yeah, I'd like to do Match or EHarmony when I'm financially independent, but that could still be a ways off. Again, I'm aware that my current situation isn't ideal for romance, but I went to a predominantly female college where no one was ever interested in me, so I have to consider the possibility that there's something intrinsically wrong with me.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/03/17 06:42 PM
1

Sure, sex is sex.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/03/17 06:38 PM
3

Yeah, though I've done Tinder/OKCupid, not anything fancy like Match/EHarmony. I've gotten 6 or 7 numbers, but only yielded one coffee date. I liked her a lot, but she seemed disinterested and eventually just kinda blew me off. I was actually supposed to have another Tinder coffee date this week, with someone I honestly wasn't crazy about, and she just started ignoring my texts before the date even happened.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/03/17 06:34 PM
1

I'm not working right now, but am seeking work in software engineering so a "low-income working class gold digger" could be a viable possibility at some point. I'm fully aware that I shouldn't expect much romantic/sexual success while unemployed, but I've been "incel" a lot longer than I've been out of work.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/03/17 06:28 PM
12

After considerable introspection, I've crafted an amalgam of most conversations that I've had about my "inceldom" on here. "It's your fault that you're an incel, no one else's!" "I know. I've always maintained that my own ugliness is the issue." "Oh, real nice! You think anyone is going to want to be with someone with such a defeatist attitude?" "But you just said-" "It's not your appearance, it's your attitude that's holding you back." "I didn't have a negative attitude until I'd already faced …
/r/PurplePillDebate18/03/17 06:17 PM
3

BluePill doesn't advocate date rape or emotional abuse. They can be annoying, and I probably don't see eye-to-eye with a significant number of them, but the kind of heinous shit that can be found on RedPill makes it a pretty easy decision.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/03/17 07:02 PM
3

Because he respects women and hangs out in sexually open social circles. Are you saying that respecting women is sufficient to be sexually attractive? Isn't that perpetuating the worst of the "nice guy" mentality?
/r/PurplePillDebate17/03/17 06:53 PM
1

Thanks. I honestly wasn't crazy about her, so I'm not devastated or anything, but it was someone who at least seemed interested and I now know wasn't.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/03/17 12:45 AM
1

After watching team "Forever alone", they have more in common with Lego Batman: "Darkness! I'm so alone! And I don't do ships!" Heh, I was literally just blown off by a prospective Tinder date today. Believe it or not, there are people who make an effort and are still invariably unsuccessful.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/03/17 11:14 PM
3

Do you dispute that we could end our celibacy by getting prostitutes?
/r/PurplePillDebate12/03/17 07:29 PM
3

Dude, I am "incel." I just think "unintentional" hits the mark closer than "involuntary."
/r/PurplePillDebate12/03/17 06:24 PM
1

I think "unintentionally celibate" would be a better term than "involuntarily celibate." "Involuntary" connotes a certain helplessness and lack of agency, "unintentional" just means you're not deliberately trying to achieve something. I think this would result in fewer discussions along the lines of "You're not really incel since you haven't gotten a prostitute or talked to every woman in your field of vision."
/r/PurplePillDebate12/03/17 05:52 PM
2

Oh, I thought maybe it was a talent show or something. Not sure if that would be better or worse than what actually happened.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/03/17 05:39 AM
3

Why was he on a stage in the first place?
/r/PurplePillDebate04/03/17 04:28 AM
2

I'd go for smart and capable because hopefully then he wouldn't waste time on MBTI nonsense... Beat me to it.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/03/17 11:41 PM
1

Well, it's kinda tautological. I'm not the best judge of male attractiveness, so I tend to think no one with a partner could be as ugly as me. I've surmised that my personality probably isn't the issue from the fact that people generally like me and say that I'm smart, funny etc., which really just leaves physical appearance as the explanation.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/03/17 09:15 PM
1

I think that I'm very, very ugly, and that it causes women to not be attracted to me. This is usually the part where my inbox gets flooded with people saying "IT'S ACKCHYUALLY YOUR DEFEATIST ATTITUDE THAT IS THE PROBLEM."
/r/PurplePillDebate02/03/17 09:09 PM
1

So, have I just happened to pursue outliers who aren't attracted to humor, or am I so ugly that even my sense of humor can't save me?
/r/PurplePillDebate02/03/17 09:03 PM
1

I don't disagree, but the post I was responding to said: Most incels I've seen pictures from were more attractive than I am, but I'm funny and not a insecure bitter weirdo so I do get laid. That implies that being funny is enough for physically unattractive people to be attractive. I happen to disagree with that.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/03/17 08:56 PM
2

I'm obviously not as funny or successful as Louis, but I've had some modest success (winning local competitions, getting hosting work etc.) I'm just saying that I'm generally one of the funnier people in any given room, and I'm also invariably unsuccessful with women, so I'm highly skeptical of the notion that being funny is enough to make one attractive.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/03/17 08:47 PM
4

Most incels I've seen pictures from were more attractive than I am, but I'm funny and not a insecure bitter weirdo so I do get laid. Heh, I'm an incel who does standup comedy. I've always been tickled by the notion that being funny will make you sexually successful.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/03/17 01:49 AM
2

Yeah, but most of the hygienically challenged people I've met have been sexually active. If someone is struggling romantically and also neglecting their hygiene, the former is a plausible component of the latter, but I'd wager that most "incels" are already taking care of their hygiene.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/03/17 09:52 PM
2

I'm pretty sure hygiene has a saturation point that's already reached by most people. "I only brush my teeth twice a day, I can't keep up with these damn Chads brushing 5+ times a day."
/r/PurplePillDebate01/03/17 09:35 PM
4

Chad Average Incel
/r/PurplePillDebate01/03/17 09:23 PM
1

that and it feels better to attribute your romantic failure to being "too nice" than to call it like it is and admit that you're ugly, for fat, or a sperglord. Wait, I've regularly been told that considering myself ugly is defeatist, and that said attitude is ACKCHYUALLY what's holding me back. Did I mess a memo?
/r/PurplePillDebate01/03/17 09:20 PM
2

I was joking in that post, but I honestly don't know if I would. I'd essentially be a different person, which isn't a decision to be made lightly. It'd definitely warrant some mulling over.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/02/17 01:49 AM
4

Wait, are you laughing. I can't read facial expressions.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/02/17 09:53 PM
4

I'm autistic, but refuse to become un-autistic. I just love counting toothpicks too much to change.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/02/17 09:24 PM
1

I think I am skinny fat, actually. I'm in a normal BMI but don't have much muscle tone.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/02/17 09:53 PM
1

I'm 5'11, around 160 pounds. I believe that puts me at a normal BMI, it's just hard to look "ripped." My arms are skinny.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/02/17 08:14 PM
1

I've been doing it for a while, so I've done everything from shitty bar shows to comic book conventions, which encompasses "normies," nerds, and likely everyone in between and to the side. I can probably more effortlessly elicit laughter from nerdier crowds, but I'm at a point where I'm pretty comfortable with any given type of audience. My physique has been an insecurity since middle school, and I'd love to "bulk up." I don't mind working out, I'm just a slow eater with some digestive issues an…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/02/17 07:06 PM
1

I've been doing standup comedy for several years and have had some modest success. I have a pretty good capacity to judge when a joke actually works, and to distinguish genuine laughter from "polite" laughter. I don't wanna sound conceited or anything, but I don't think there's a viable possibility that everyone is just being polite when they say I'm funny.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/02/17 05:53 PM
2

I was in therapy for most of college and still have a psychiatrist I see semi-regularly. I'm not obese or deformed, but I don't know if I'm "in decent shape:" I've always been quite skinny and though I've put some weight on in the past year, I still look pretty scrawny. Some of the people I've talked to about my inceldom have said that I rely on humor too much when interacting with people, which doesn't really square with the interpretation that a traditionally autistic demeanor is what's holdin…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/02/17 05:31 PM
3

Yeah, I'm a guy who posts on ForeverAlone and has been told that I'm "normal looking." However, I'm also told that I'm funny, smart, interesting etc., so it's hard to imagine that personality is the "real" issue. The simplest explanation is that I'm physically unattractive and people are just being polite.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/02/17 12:27 AM
7

Looks don't matter that much. Heh.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/17 11:19 PM
1

OMG thank you. MBTI makes me groan more than anything else on this board.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/17 07:32 PM
1

I don't think my looks are a hindrance in the interviewing process, a lot of these are phone interviews. My autism might be an issue one way or another, but I tend to think employers in STEM fields are kinda used to that. The most straightforward way to ensure a security clearance would be by joining the military, and I'm not quite desperate enough to go that far (especially with Trump in office).
/r/PurplePillDebate23/02/17 07:23 PM
1

Yeah, that's about where I'm at. I've only been looking at retail-type stuff for about a month, so I'll probably find something there eventually, just discouraging that I have to look there to find any work at all.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/02/17 07:15 PM
1

I don't think they're necessarily scarce, I just live in an area where it's particularly hard to break in (military area, everyone wants a security clearance but no one wants to give you one). I also don't always do great on assessments, even though I think my portfolio is pretty damn good. I could theoretically move somewhere where it's easier to break in, but I kinda want to stay with my parents for the time being to save some money, so it becomes something of a catch-22.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/02/17 06:45 PM
1

I've always had at least a small circle of friends and worked out on and off through college. I've had trouble finding a job at all, let alone one in the field of work I aspire to (software engineering), but I still spend most of day coding to try and stay sharp. I should try to find something new to fail at to try and keep myself distracted from all of my other failures.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/02/17 06:24 PM
1

I've pursued some women on Tinder that I wasn't particularly attracted to, just to get some experience, and they've tended to blow me off just like anyone else.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/02/17 03:13 PM
1

But what if you actually are really ugly?
/r/PurplePillDebate23/02/17 12:21 AM
1

I don't always see eye-to-eye with BluePill, but I usually identify as such just because RedPill is so far off the deep end. Even "PurplePill" implies a kind of equivalency that I can't abide by. BluePill annoys me sometimes, RedPill advocates emotional abuse and date rape. There's no comparison.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/17 05:08 AM
1

I guess I'm just unsure of the demarcation point. Should I ask her to recite the alphabet backwards before we do anything sexual, or would that kill the mood?
/r/PurplePillDebate18/02/17 11:09 PM
3

I'm a college graduate who doesn't drink much and has put on weight in the past year (skinniness is one of my main insecurities). Venting on the internet doesn't negate IRL self-improvement, and forgoing said venting wouldn't magically make me attractive. I don't doubt that personality is important, but after a lifetime of being told that I'm funny/smart/interesting but also being uniformly rejected by women, you start to think that it might be physical appearance that is the real issue.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/02/17 10:36 PM
1

I don't call myself "involuntarily celibate." I don't even like that term, but the post I was responding to used the term "incel" so I used it in kind, placing it in quotation marks. I usually opt for "ForeverAlone." This forum has repeatedly told me that women judge looks on a "pass/fail" criteria, so given my experiences, it's entirely valid to speculate that I fall on the "fail" end of that binary. I do standup comedy and people regularly tell me that I'm very funny just in conversation (incl…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/02/17 10:32 PM
1

I just mean that the women lingering at the bar at the end of the night will likely be drinking. I'd be sober and seeking sex with an intoxicated person, which I'm pretty sure is frowned upon.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/02/17 09:49 PM
4

The hour or so that I spend in a given week venting about being "incel" is hardly the "worst thing I can do." It's not like I'd suddenly become successful with women if I stopped talking about it. I'd still be freakishly ugly.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/02/17 09:12 PM
1

Is it wrong to do this if I'm sober? I'm not really a drinker.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/02/17 07:31 PM
1

So, in what venues can I lower my standards and subsequently reap the benefits of limitless sex?
/r/PurplePillDebate18/02/17 07:13 PM
1

We could? I've pursued women on Tinder that I wasn't attracted to, and they end up blowing me off just like anyone else.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/02/17 06:48 PM
6

Thank you for being honest. This lends credence to my plan of just giving up altogether.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/02/17 03:40 AM
3

Yeah, I think this is about right. As a ForeverAlone male, the only time I really feel "visible" is when the villagers chase me with torches and pitchforks.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/02/17 12:42 AM
1

Oh I know, I'm very ugly and am certain that's my main issue. I just have my doubts that "funny" is so much as the second most important quality.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/02/17 02:53 AM
1

I like to think so, they usually say that I'm funny. However, that rarely (never) earns me a second date. Hence my previous post.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/02/17 02:41 AM
1

If you want women to want to fuck you, you need to be attractive (being very fit is a bonus), funny, and good in bed. Why'd you include "funny?" That's basically irrelevant.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/02/17 02:03 AM
1

What does "wing" mean in this context?
/r/PurplePillDebate10/02/17 04:22 PM
2

Unapologetically, decisively, and consistently embracing and freely expressing all you are, even in front of crowds of people? That literally makes women wet. As a ForeverAlone who does standup comedy, I take exception to this.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/02/17 04:05 AM
1

And the second reason is some guys will never be attractive no matter what they do or don't do. Women just consider them unattractive period. Most women will never tell a man this because again, it would hurt his feelings. Yep. It's pretty disheartening that none of my friends have ever been honest about this with me, even though it's glaringly obvious.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/02/17 03:58 AM
2

I have high-functioning autism, so I'm probably particularly guilty of taking things overly-literally (though even aside from that, I do think the advice in question is uselessly nebulous). I'm just saying that I personally haven't known women to say it any more than men.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/02/17 01:23 AM
3

Is "just be yourself" considered a gendered thing? I've been told that by people of both sexes (and it's irritating either way).
/r/PurplePillDebate09/02/17 01:09 AM
5

There is a threshold but it's lower than many of the red pill men here seem to think. I think this is where the communication breakdown occurs. Someone as ugly as myself is unlikely to ever meet the "looks threshold," so for me, looks literally are the only thing that matters. I have other traits that could theoretically raise my "SMV" or whatever, but that doesn't mean much when you can't meet the aforementioned threshold.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/02/17 12:59 AM
1

I know. I've had my Tinder openers complimented for being clever and then been unmatched shortly thereafter. Your statement probably just needs the qualifier "unless you're really ugly."
/r/PurplePillDebate08/02/17 09:36 PM
1

a good tinder opener goes a long way. It really doesn't.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/02/17 09:22 PM
1

Yeah, I don't deny that "incels"(I don't even like the term) are often defeatist, and again, I can only speak for myself. However, as someone who has tried working out, been in therapy for years, and has friends, it's accurate to say that I've "tried and it didn't work." Believe it or not, there are people who make an effort and are still repugnant to women.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/02/17 06:51 PM
2

They make it part of their identity, and when you try to engage in a discussion that, to you, is intended to be helpful, they see as an attack on their identity. I can only speak for myself, but I've never felt that my identity was being attacked. I just get annoyed because people's idea of being "helpful" tends to be the regurgitation of platitudes like "be confident" or "be yourself."
/r/PurplePillDebate06/02/17 02:15 AM
2

Well, it's not always about social skills. Some of us are just really, really ugly.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/02/17 02:08 AM
1

So, do you identify as asexual?
/r/PurplePillDebate03/02/17 08:31 PM
1

I don't really know. I would guess that autism leads to sexual frustration for a lot of guys, which makes places like this alluring, but women may not be impacted the same way. Are you sexually/romantically fulfilled, generally speaking?
/r/PurplePillDebate03/02/17 08:19 PM
1

Wait, are you autistic? I don't see many autistic women on here.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/02/17 05:02 PM
1

NTS in general use "symbolic language". Does that stand for "neutrotypicals?"
/r/PurplePillDebate03/02/17 04:04 AM
2

Thank you, I mean it. It's refreshing to discuss it without being inundated with platitudes.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/01/17 10:29 PM
4

What I'm trying to convey is the fact that "incels" (volcels) need to improve themselves one way or the other, because it obviously can't be that the entirety of society is wrong for shutting them out (which in volcels' cases is just the refusal to improve). Most problems in your own life come from yourself. Of course, I've long acknowledged that the main issue is my own ugliness. However, when I point that out, I get shot down for being "defeatist." I generally avoid such discussions now becaus…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/01/17 10:03 PM
1

Eh, I guess in my case it's high-functioning autism, which is internal but obviously manifests externally. When I'm feeling less charitable toward myself, I'd say ugliness, which would fall pretty squarely under "external issues."
/r/PurplePillDebate22/01/17 04:20 AM
1

Been there, done that.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/01/17 04:45 PM
1

Out of curiosity, what are those "signs"? No woman has ever been attracted to me. What kind of catalogs should I look at? I honestly don't know. My mind is turning toward J. C. Penney but I have a feeling that's not what you mean.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/01/17 04:45 AM
2

Yes, you "actually" have to explain it because "be yourself" lends itself to various interpretations. It's prudent to clarify which one you mean. If you've already clarified for someone once, you probably shouldn't have to do it again.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/01/17 04:03 AM
2

I don't understand the reference to "training wheels." It's generally preferable to aim for clarity, and "Change things about yourself that are changeable, but not your personality" lends itself to decidedly fewer connotations than "Be yourself."
/r/PurplePillDebate19/01/17 03:32 AM
1

Well, I for one have difficulty gaining weight, but the principle is similar. I have some digestion issues, and am often a slow eater due to autism-related sensory issues, so putting on weight is a fairly Herculean task. That said, I have actually put on some weight over the past year and women are still repulsed by me. Most signs indicate that I'm just horrendously ugly. Talking to people has been a challenge of varying degrees through my life, but I have a refined enough sense of humor and kno…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/01/17 03:09 AM
2

So when people have told you throughout your life to "be yourself", they meant your Personality, the part of you that does not change, the part of your hard wiring that was programmed into you at birth. If you try to deny those aspects of you, you'll get all fucked up. But the parts of you that can change? By all means, reinvent yourself! Have fun, tear it up! Improve yourself, take control of your life and turn yourself into who you want to be. Build your life the way you want it to be. Then pe…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/01/17 02:57 AM
1

No, I'm pretty skinny. I've put some weight on in the past year but my arms still look skinny.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/01/17 04:17 AM
1

I don't think it's invariably a deal breaker, just the best available explanation for my lack of success. My understanding is that Mr. Baguma is quite wealthy, which presumably offsets some of his lack of physical appeal. I don't have a lot of money right now.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/01/17 02:42 AM
3

Well, the fact that he's dead lends his story to biopics. There's less impetus to do them for living people since their story isn't over.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/01/17 01:37 AM
2

Yeah, I'm aware that not everyone is going to like you and that rejection is part of the game. I just thought that by the time I was 23, someone would have liked me. But they haven't. Because I'm ugly.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/01/17 01:34 AM
1

OK, but I'm presumably uglier than that guy, since all of the women I've pursued have been non-models and all have rejected me. I mean, there's probably some woman somewhere who could tolerate my appearance, but there's no guarantee that I'll ever met her.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/01/17 01:09 AM
1

Yeah, I can see that. I'm personally probably too ugly for my personality to mean much, but I can accept the basic premise that awkwardness itself is generally unattractive.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/01/17 01:02 AM
2

Really? At least contemporarily, the consensus seems to be that Jobs was a bit of a dick and Gates is a pretty good guy.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/01/17 12:58 AM
3

Are personality and social awkwardness mutually exclusive? People generally say that I'm funny and intelligent, but I'm definitely a bit awkward.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/01/17 12:52 AM
1

Is Steve Jobs considered more attractive than Bill Gates?
/r/PurplePillDebate17/01/17 12:45 AM
2

If you're an ugly or average guy and approach women with something close to competence, nothing bad will happen. I think this is mostly true. I'm horrifically ugly, but most of my rejections have been pretty courteous, or at least not overtly hostile.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/01/17 10:08 PM
1

I won't dispute that listing "fertile" as a desirable characteristic is creepy, and would probably be a deterrent to most women, but I'm really skeptical that it's a bigger problem than "potential lack of attractiveness." Choosing all the right words and emanating charisma isn't worth much if you're physically unattractive. (Source: am ugly person with large vocabulary often described as "charismatic")
/r/PurplePillDebate15/01/17 02:45 AM
2

As an ugly person/ForeverAlone, I am a bit annoyed at the underemphasis of physical attraction in that thread, but doing a 180 and embracing RedPill lunacy is hardly the answer. Comparing oneself to Gerard Depardieu may not be especially helpful, but embracing an ideology that encourages emotional abuse and date rape is going to be actively harmful, and probably not just for the OP.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/01/17 10:54 PM
1

The use of "bildungsroman" there made me chuckle.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/01/17 08:18 PM
1

Did respond Messages where they had at least glanced at my profile to talk about something we had in common Messages with jokes or funny comments I do this fairly often (over Tinder, though). I don't have much success, though. My profound ugliness kinda trumps other potential merits.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/01/17 05:39 AM
4

I do prefer that they're taller than me in heels Well, I think I meet most of your criteria, but I don't know how I feel about wearing heels.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/01/17 11:32 PM
1

Attractiveness gets you into the game, it makes you competitive. All your other traits are what close the deal or place you above other attractive men. I think that's basically true, and is probably what leads people to conclusions like "physical attractiveness is the only thing that matters." People as ugly as myself will never be attractive enough to be in "the game," so since my other traits are never really evaluated, it can be easy to feel like appearance is the only determining factor. I r…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/01/17 09:37 PM
3

You cannot at that point state "look, objectively my SMV is 8, so you have to mate with me". Oh, well, I guess I've been doing it all wrong.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/01/17 05:21 PM
1

very few of them are undesirable because they got hit with the ugly stick. As a very ugly person who's also ForeverAlone, I must be one of the "very few," then.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/01/17 01:05 AM
1

If someone has been interested in me, they've made it pretty damned crystal clear as well, although women like you to make the first move. But women who have fancied me have made it obvious. I've even had women hit on me and one girl gave me her number at the end of a training course, and I'm not even particularly good looking, so I surmise this happens to attractive men quite a bit. Yeah, I've long suspected this. One of the platitudes I've often heard as a ForeverAlone is "Oh, you probably jus…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/01/17 06:40 PM
1

Things like status, confidence, intelligence, ease, being fun, exiting, etc. are just as, if not more, important. Getting in shape, and dressing nice, hygiene, and good grooming, etc. I can understand how grooming and getting in shape can make one more attractive. I've never seen any indication that intelligence or "being fun" does the same, though.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/01/17 06:32 PM
1

I make people laugh all the time and am still ForeverAlone. Making women laugh isn't worth much if you're ugly.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/01/17 10:48 PM
1

I don't think so. I'm pretty high functioning, so I can "blend in" reasonably well. I imagine that at least some of the women I've pursued were more viscerally repulsed than they let on, though.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/01/17 08:25 PM
1

I don't think any of my friends have seriously thought I was gay. I've usually been pretty open about my crushes and pursuing women, and as I said, most of them are hardly lotharios themselves. I can't know what aunts/uncles/cousins say behind closed doors, but they all know I'm autistic, so I'd imagine they consider that before jumping to "He must be gay!"
/r/PurplePillDebate08/01/17 07:37 PM
1

Part of it may be that I generally haven't felt "stigmatized" among my groups of friends. Pretty much all of them, whether from high school, college or elsewhere have had relationships, but they also tend to be nerdy and awkward themselves so they've gone through lengthy stretches of being alone. So, it's sucked to be the third/fifth/seventh wheel so many times, but I generally haven't felt like they were looking down on me.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/01/17 07:08 PM
1

I don't dispute that, I'm just saying that the fact that FAs would be happier in a world with higher rates of sexual inexperience doesn't necessarily mean that the social stigma weighs on them more than the loneliness itself. I personally think that the loneliness/longing for affection is worse, but I know that not all FAs feel the same way.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/01/17 05:58 PM
4

Having no romantic or sexual experience reduces your pool of potential partners, because inexperience itself is often seen as odd and unattractive. Being happier in a society where more people are inexperienced doesn't necessarily mean that social stigma is the main reason for FA unhappiness, it could just as well mean you're relieved that you'll have a larger pool of potential partners.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/01/17 04:14 AM
1

I'm not ignoring what you say, though. I'm explaining why I don't think your prescribed course of action would be effective, and your only rebuttal seems to be that it's different than what I've already done.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/01/17 02:45 AM
2

Clearly, the things I've done up to this point haven't worked, but it doesn't follow that something else would work just because I haven't tried it yet. Hitting on random women in, say, the grocery store, would probably just make me come off even creepier and be a bad experience for all involved.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/01/17 01:57 AM
1

I can understand going up to more women at social settings like bars, concerts etc., but hitting on every woman I see seems dickish. Most of them are probably just going about their day and don't want to be bothered.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/01/17 11:51 PM
1

Are you suggesting that I just proposition random women that I see in public?
/r/PurplePillDebate06/01/17 10:19 PM
1

I don't keep a tally of every woman I've ever approached. If you include every "swipe right" on Tinder, it's probably over 500. I've never been rejected because of my ego, though. In pretty much every case it's been due to my appearance.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/01/17 03:39 PM
1

There are so many betas and omegas on this subreddit who complain about looks, about being short, about being a minority. When you point out what they should be doing to fix their dating problem, they simply ignore whatever you have to say and go back to their own little world. I see it again and again and find it incredibly sad that so many people are locked in self-perpetuating cycles like this. Well, I am an "omega" due to my looks, so in my case it's just a basic acknowledgment of reality. N…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/01/17 11:22 PM
1

God, I wish those were my issues. I'm too ugly to ever be lovable, but still let myself get close to (single) women.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/01/17 01:46 AM
1

Who are you expecting to be persuaded by? I don't think I've ever seen anyone say that incel shaming should be criminalized.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/12/16 09:21 PM
1

I agree. Being autistic makes me an oppressed minority, so my low SMV is a symptom, rather than a cause, of my being an oppressed minority.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/12/16 08:15 PM
1

The National Academy of Sciences concluded that only the I-E scale had "adequate construct validity." It might work to give you a snapshot of your strengths and weaknesses, but saying that you're "INTJ" doesn't give much more insight than saying you're a Scorpio.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/12/16 08:38 PM
2

Well, for all your cousin's deficits, the fact that he's previously had girlfriends works in his favor. I don't know when he had his first girlfriend, but he's obviously not going to graduate college as an FA virgin and have to explain that (I do). The point is taken though. I know that there's probably someone who could tolerate my appearance, there's just no guarantee that I'll ever meet them, or that we'd be compatible in other ways.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/12/16 12:28 AM
3

I know, but you gave "why should I work out, I'll never have Chad's face?" as an example of an excuse. I'm just saying that my ugliness isn't an excuse, it's a significant variable. I've actually been insecure about my skinniness for a while, but I'm finally within a normal BMI and women are still repulsed by me. I could theoretically be more attractive if I put on more muscle, but I wouldn't expect it to do a whole lot. My experiences suggest that I'm just deeply, deeply ugly.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/12/16 08:57 PM
1

I don't really buy into the concept of "Chad," but I'm very ugly and also FA. I tend to think the two are connected somehow.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/12/16 08:47 PM
1

I don't think this is inaccurate. There are undoubtedly men who are charismatic, in shape, and good at attracting women, but any attempt at demarcating "Chad" from the average guy (Does Chad have to be above 5'10? Can he still be a Chad if he has trimethylaminuria? If he's blind in one eye?) tends to fall short of consensus. I don't need to scapegoat a group of nebulously defined men to make sense of my issues with women. I'm fully aware that my own ugliness is the issue.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/12/16 08:40 PM
1

I don't follow. Who rejects psychoanalysis?
/r/PurplePillDebate26/12/16 01:13 AM
1

Uh, OK? I didn't say otherwise.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/12/16 01:12 AM
3

Myers-Briggs is mostly hokum. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Myers–Briggs_Type_Indicator#Criticism
/r/PurplePillDebate25/12/16 07:56 PM
3

Automation and its effect on employment are definitely a strong contender, and part of why Trump's promise to bring jobs back by renegotiating trade deals is so infuriating. Around 85% of manufacturing jobs are lost to automation rather than offshoring, so renegotiating NAFTA isn't going to do much for those who formerly relied on their manufacturing jobs.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/12/16 02:07 AM
3

Stop blaming your problems on your Aspergers mate, you're just projecting all your failure onto it instead of engaging in some introspection. I can't speak for him, but this is probably good advice. I'm a ForeverAlone with high-functionism autism, and I suspect that it has far more to do with my ugliness than my neurodevelopment disorder.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/12/16 02:02 AM
1

Meh. I was in a bad mood when I wrote that, so I was probably somewhat hyperbolic, but it's not just an inability to read cues or flirt. There's been times women did things that I thought were overtly flirtatious (i.e. rubbing my stomach), and found out that they weren't actually interested. I don't doubt that I'm a bit awkward, but I'm also regularly described as being very funny, and the adjective "charismatic" has even been used. There just comes a point where no one being attracted to me lea…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/12/16 02:47 AM
4

Eh, if I was truly trying to scapegoat something unchangeable about myself, I could blame my high-functioning autism. My experiences really just indicate that I'm highly unattractive, and that's been the main issue. I mean, it could be a coincidence that I'm both ugly and ForeverAlone, but I kinda doubt it.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/12/16 12:32 AM
1

I'm 5'11", I'm not well built but I do have pretty big shoulders. That's remarkably close to my own appearance. I get more matches on Tinder than someone in my position would expect, but I've generally found that a relatively small number of matches actually respond to messages, a smaller number than that actually keep the conversation going, culminating in a grand total of 3 times I've actually gotten a phone number (none of which actually resulted in a date). And that's after you filter out th…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/12/16 08:17 PM
1

However, even if you are genetically unfortunate, there is almost certainly someone out there who will dig you. There's probably someone, somewhere who could find me attractive, but there's no guarantee that I'll ever meet them. On a planet of 7 billion, "someone, somewhere" isn't terribly reassuring.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/12/16 07:44 PM
1

That's probably a good analogy. I seem to be pretty good dip accompanied by an empty bag of chips.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/12/16 09:09 PM
1

Not trying to impress, just seeking information that may be valuable in the real world. She said intelligence was attractive, so listing areas where I'm intelligent was relevant. Anyway, you seem like a knob.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/12/16 05:43 AM
1

I'm also a diagnosed "autist," as you're so fond of saying.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/12/16 04:49 AM
1

That's more or less what I thought. I know that when traits like "funny" or "intelligent" are listed as attractive qualities, they tend to come with the caveat "if requisite physical attraction is met." So, it just kinda sucks to be an ugly person who's also described as smart and funny.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/12/16 08:43 PM
1

I don't know much about hypergamy (I seriously just had to google it). I just know that I'm often described as "intelligent," largely based on my vocabulary, and am still invariably unsuccessful with women. There's different types of intelligence (visual-spatial, verbal-linguistic etc. ), so I was wondering if any are more conventionally attractive than others.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/12/16 05:45 PM
2

Just curious, what kind of intelligence? I have a large vocabulary and know my way around C++.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/12/16 05:34 PM
2

I'm always confident when I interact with women: confident that I'll be rejected, confident that I'm bothering them, confident that they're more interested in one of my friends. I'm just brimming with confidence.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/12/16 05:21 PM
1

Is the Christian fundamentalism ever at odds with the science geekdom?
/r/PurplePillDebate07/12/16 08:43 PM
1

and charismatic and witty people who are physically average can be boosted up to attractive status through those traits. I must be even uglier than I thought, since I'm regularly described as "witty" and it's done nothing for me.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/12/16 11:08 PM
2

I don't follow. The OP was about unattractive men in general and your response didn't explicitly mention RP. If it was just directed toward them, I sincerely apologize for the misunderstanding.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/12/16 06:08 AM
1

I'm not RP. Seriously, I find them repugnant. I'm just lonely and sexually frustrated, so it can be an easy mistake to make.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/12/16 05:36 AM
2

I have an education, but finding a good job is a challenge in its own right. I'm thin and at least try to work out. I have high functioning autism, so there's always going to be some awkwardness, but people regularly say that I'm very funny, so I must have some social competence. I guess I'm alone because I'm just too "fucking LAZY," though.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/12/16 04:16 AM
1

So, to some women, looks could be the most important factor?
/r/PurplePillDebate26/11/16 07:30 PM
1

Well, what is the most important factor?
/r/PurplePillDebate26/11/16 05:42 AM
1

Thank god I'm particularly ugly, then.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/11/16 10:14 PM
1

Eh, I have a decent conception of how fitness works, and a good eye for spotting nutritional/fitness hokum. The main issue is getting past my issues with indigestion and slow eating to gain (and keep on) enough weight to build muscle.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/11/16 08:46 PM
1

No messed up bone structure or bad skin conditions. I consider myself to be groomed quite well. I'm not obese, but I am scrawny, which is kind of obesity's less stigmatized cousin (and why I stress that I try to work out). I mean, I don't think it's entirely about appearance; I have high functioning autism and that's probably contributed. I just get sick of platitudes like "It's not your appearance, it's your attitude" from people who don't even know what I look like or how I comport myself in d…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/11/16 04:56 AM
1

I'm a college grad who socialized a fair amount (and still does) and at least tries to work out, and I can indeed attest to none of it helping one bit. I can concede that it's probably more complicated than just being "ugly," but it can be really, really hard to think otherwise when you've never been attractive to anyone.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/11/16 01:38 AM
1

I don't know if I can change your view, because I can only really go by my own experiences. I'm ugly and forever alone, and tend to think the two are related. My "ruminating mindset" was caused by rejection, not the other way around. It's possible that my ugliness is unrelated to being forever alone, but I really doubt it.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/11/16 04:49 AM
1

I'm 5'11 and slim. What's up?
/r/PurplePillDebate05/11/16 08:50 PM
1

One of the things that RPers are particularly fundamentalist about is lifting. But I contest that for most guys it doesn't make that much difference. I really want this to be true. I don't know if it is. I'm an "incel" who's never had much luck with lifting, so it would be nice to yield to the wisdom that everyone has different preferences and I shouldn't stress myself out trying to get more muscular. But, even though nearly everyone I know with a similar body type has lost their virginity and h…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/11/16 11:19 PM
1

Their bafflement seemed to have more to do with not finding much wrong with my body. I'd love to just take that as affirmation that everyone has different preferences and I'm overly insecure, but when I look at my failures with women I can't help but feel that I'd be more successful if I was in better shape.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/11/16 07:37 PM
3

As a (sexless, not very muscular) guy, I do struggle with this. I feel that I probably would have had some success with women by now if I was more muscular, but every so often I open up about this to a (female) friend and they seem a bit baffled. It's simultaneously a bit frustrating and affirming.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/11/16 08:54 PM
2

Not much. I posted to /r/amiugly and the main feedback was that I should should put on muscle and buy better clothes. I have trouble with the former and it's been one of my biggest insecurities since middle school, and no one gave me specifics on the latter so I feel kinda clueless.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/10/16 10:22 PM
1

Yeah, that hasn't happened to me. Sorry you had to go through that.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/10/16 06:42 PM
1

I was mostly being tongue-in-cheek (and making an IASIP reference), but I don't think the issue is so much with the ratio of autistic men vs. women, but the rate of autistic people in general. Around 1% of the population has autism, and even if we assume that 1% of women are autistic, that population has to be further narrowed down to those in the same age bracket as the autistic male, at the same level of severity, open to the idea of "exploring" with an autistic male etc. So, while I'm not ave…
/r/PurplePillDebate31/10/16 06:32 PM
1

I can only speak for myself, but as an ugly person, I can say that the stigma is a fairly minor part of the anguish. Most of my friends-high school, college, and post-graduation, were awkward with women, so I don't/didn't get judged much. However, most of them eventually found a longterm relationship and/or had flings along the way, so I was still the loser. Having said that, I would be open to a sex robot. I just wouldn't expect it to be a panacea.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/10/16 09:49 PM
4

What keeps you from exploring the way things work with an autistic woman? Exploring the way things work with an autistic woman? Why don't I strap on my autistic woman helmet and squeeze down into an autistic woman cannon and fire off into autistic woman land, where autistic women grow on autistic womenies?
/r/PurplePillDebate30/10/16 09:44 PM
3

If true, I feel compelled to unironically say that I was born in the wrong generation.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/10/16 09:00 PM
2

Also a Scientologist, so he has even more connections than the average celebrity.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/10/16 12:41 AM
7

Tom Cruise is 5'6" He's also a millionaire movie star. That could greatly elevate someone with any number of typically unfavorable traits, from obesity to baldness to albinism. I don't obsess over height like some guys here, but I don't think the existence of Tom Cruise is a particularly strong rebuttal to his point.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/10/16 10:00 PM
1

I'm 23, should have a good job in the next few months, and drink rarely enough to quit without missing it. What's up?
/r/PurplePillDebate21/10/16 08:10 PM
1

I don't know about nose picking, but it's not so cute when Jenny McCarthy enables the proliferation of preventable diseases.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/10/16 04:01 AM
2

Knowing nothing else about her, I see nothing wrong with the "unattractive" girl. That's the kind of person I'd be excited to have a Tinder match with.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/10/16 07:54 PM
2

People don't usually tell me that I'm unattractive, I just glean it from my failures with women. I have asked people out, and have invariably failed. I don't think that I'm necessarily "ugly;" I don't expect gawks or jeers when people see my face. But since no one has ever been attracted to me, I am, by definition, unattractive.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/10/16 08:19 PM
2

It's kinda hard to see yourself as attractive when no one's ever been attracted to you.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/10/16 07:31 PM
3

Doesn't the rise of online dating even it out somewhat?
/r/PurplePillDebate12/10/16 11:24 PM
7

What qualifies as mind numbing poison? I vehemently reject the flagrant misogyny and conspiracy theories that seem to comprise most of /r/MGTOW and /r/IncelAbode. However, I still believe that I'll probably be alone for the rest of my life, which I know is often considered a "toxic" belief.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/10/16 05:09 AM
1

Yeah, I'm aware that my frustrations are petty compared to what women deal with. I don't doubt that a lot of instances of trying to reject men without being blunt or overt are underlaid by genuine attempts at self-preservation. It doesn't completely mitigate my frustration. But I do understand, or at least try to.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/10/16 02:27 PM
6

I wish the girls who rejected me just told me I was unattractive. The worst rejection I ever had was from a girl who repeatedly told me I was "beautiful."
/r/PurplePillDebate07/10/16 06:07 AM
2

Sounds like a good time to say you're an atheist.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/10/16 05:55 AM
2

Wow, most of that applies to me to varying degrees. Sometimes I think I'm just using my body as a scapegoat and my high functioning autism is my predominant barrier to affection.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/10/16 05:10 PM
1

What hard work is employed in the cultivation of attractiveness? Are you referring to working out, or something more abstract?
/r/PurplePillDebate04/10/16 05:14 AM
1

How does one be fashionable? I got that advice when I posted on /r/amiugly under a throwaway, but no one really gave specifics.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/10/16 05:11 AM
1

What social deficits do you think hinder autistic guys in the early stages of dating?
/r/PurplePillDebate04/10/16 04:55 AM
1

Honestly? My constant failures with the opposite sex are a large source of depression for me, but the "ForeverAlone" subreddits can be pretty toxic echo chambers, so I like to hear differing takes on the matter, even if I don't agree with them. Though I've seen some discussion about a moratorium on "incel" posts, so my tenure here may be short lived.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/09/16 07:40 PM
1

Sure, I wouldn't have a problem with that.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/09/16 07:26 PM
1

Don't take this too far or past the your approach, but next time try treating women as would meeting a male. I understand the rationale behind this, but it's a lot easier said than done. I probably do treat women that I'm attracted to differently than people I'm not attracted to, but it's mostly because of involuntary nervousness. Short of mind control or chemical castration, I can't just pretend that I'm talking to a male.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/09/16 10:41 PM
2

I've done improv, and even won a local competition once, but I don't do it nearly as much as standup. I riff when I'm doing standup sometimes, but I just generally don't have much fun with the traditional improv games.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/09/16 04:04 AM
2

It's hard talking to someone after a show, when they're often on their way somewhere else, and trying to still be funny while also asking the boilerplate "What's your name? What's your major?" questions. I would get friend requests from women in college after a big show, and think that was a possible sign of interest, but they either had boyfriends or just didn't have much interest in actually talking to me. So, I mean, I have some theoretical advantages, but it's still really hard.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/09/16 03:56 AM
2

OK. I mean, I do standup comedy, which combines the tackling of a common fear (public speaking) with a trait generally considered positive (sense of humor), but I'm still an incel/FA/whatever. I've gotten the "talk to girls after a show" advice countless times, but it tends to just dissolve into awkward small talk and me saying "oh, yeah, thanks" a lot.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/09/16 03:37 AM
1

If you're good at creating excitement, people looking for a thrill ride will make damn sure you have the opportunity to seduce them. Maybe I'm daft, but what do you mean by "creating excitement?" I'm not sure I understand.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/09/16 03:22 AM
1

Eh, I've had friendships complicated by rejection, but I don't think I've ever had a friendship with a woman compromised by the mere fact of discussing sexual things. In general, I don't feel as though I'm intolerable to women. I've just never met one who was attracted to me.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/09/16 02:28 AM
1

Did you hear about that asian man that supposedly sued his wife because their kids came out ugly? Well she was ugly, got plastic surgery, found a man, got married, had kids and guess what? The children came out ugly because even though the mother got plastic surgery, she's still ugly because of her genes. Not to get tangential, but that's actually a myth: http://www.snopes.com/media/notnews/uglybaby.asp
/r/PurplePillDebate27/09/16 07:32 PM
2

i'd say for me, the same is true for opinions on controversial subjects Can you elaborate on this a bit? I definitely understand refraining from sexual/violent remarks, but I'm not quite sure what qualifies as "controversial." I know it's generally ill-advised to bring up politics/religion/whatever in polite company, but I didn't think it was considered "creepy" per se.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/09/16 07:11 PM
1

Well I'm in America, so I can live with that!
/r/PurplePillDebate27/09/16 03:09 AM
1

TIL I'm above average height. I think my self-esteem just went up by a quarter of a point.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/09/16 01:53 AM
1

Yeah, I've been there and it's definitely not fun. I'm just saying that I've also gone through periods of having an active social circle, so "number of friends" doesn't seem to be a particularly important variable for my level of desirability.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/09/16 08:58 PM
1

I can only speak to my own experiences, but I've incurred a lot of variation in my social life; there were times in college when I had a large circle of friends and went out pretty often, and times when I...didn't. One constant through it all, however, was the complete absence of romantic or sexual attention from anyone. So, I'm much more inclined to believe that my FA/incel status is caused by simply being unattractive, rather than social status or number of friends.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/09/16 08:34 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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