acceptedintegrated Archive

Upvotes	Title	Category	Author	Subreddit	Date (UTC)
29	Can you describe the ideal dating timeline from an FDS perspective?		acceptedintegrated	/r/askFDS	16/03/20 04:07 PM

Upvotes	Comment on	Subreddit	Date (UTC)
5	I think I have a red flag but I don't know how to get rid of it. Thank you for the clarification. I had never thought of it that way. I appreciate it.	/r/askFDS	27/04/20 11:49 PM
3	I think I have a red flag but I don't know how to get rid of it. It is what it is. Hurt people hurt people. Generational trauma exists. Judgement and resentment only keep us stuck in it. Forgiveness is the only thing that heals it.	/r/askFDS	26/04/20 04:45 PM
29	I think I have a red flag but I don't know how to get rid of it. My Mom's a narcissistic abuser who carried on an emotionally incestuous relationship with me from 9-16, then married a child molester and tried to gaslight me into allowing his grooming behaviors with my son when he was a toddler. I'm no contact with her and always will be. I've grieved her as if she had died. If that's a dating red flag oh well.	/r/askFDS	20/04/20 11:30 PM
51	In your opinion, what does healthy male expression of their sexuality look like? There's nothing extreme about the stance that men who've habitually masturbated to porn for years (so most men) just shouldn't masturbate in order to recover. If you are struggling with compulsive sexual behavior or obsessive sexual thought, and you can't stop on your own, recovery in a 12 step fellowship is an option that has helped many. This is a list of online and phone meetings you can attend during the pandemic since in person meetings are not currently meeting: https://www.reddit.com/r/Se…	/r/askFDS	12/04/20 04:18 AM
1	Can you describe the ideal dating timeline from an FDS perspective? I'm sorry you are hurting. 15 is a tough age.	/r/askFDS	20/03/20 12:00 AM
4	OPEN Q&A THREAD FOR MEN: Explain to FDS what a rapist looks, talks, and acts like. Also provide a full proof way to know they’re not safe to be alone with before you’re actually alone. [Trigger Warning] Women were the first slaves and women's bodies were the first capital. Our entire concept of the father is as paterfamilias, master of slaves. Modern capitalism is absolutely a creation of male supremacy, and it will not be overthrown without also overthrowing male supremacy, and vice versa. Same with racism homophobia, transphobia, ableism, and so on. We have to address all of these things intersectionally, to look at them individually misses the total picture.	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	01/01/20 12:43 AM
4	OPEN Q&A THREAD FOR MEN: Explain to FDS what a rapist looks, talks, and acts like. Also provide a full proof way to know they’re not safe to be alone with before you’re actually alone. [Trigger Warning] I don't think I'm qualified to do anything other than share my experience. My personal experience is that my last relationship ended because I wasn't willing to continue to ignore my partner's unhealthy attitudes and behaviors, and they were completely convinced there was nothing unhealthy about them. The relationship before that I was acting out patterns of sex and love addiction the entire time, as was my ex. We never actually knew each other, we just had amazing sex and tried to build a life …	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	01/01/20 12:29 AM
6	OPEN Q&A THREAD FOR MEN: Explain to FDS what a rapist looks, talks, and acts like. Also provide a full proof way to know they’re not safe to be alone with before you’re actually alone. [Trigger Warning] You're welcome. People are starting to rediscover second wave radfem thought, especially in light of what a scam a lot of the "sex positive" stuff in the third wave has been. A new Andrea Dworkin anthology came out this year. Hopefully the pendulum will continue swing back from the derangement of sex addicts and feminists making a common cause minimizing the harms of porn and the rest of the commercialized sexual culture we live in.	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	31/12/19 09:35 PM
5	OPEN Q&A THREAD FOR MEN: Explain to FDS what a rapist looks, talks, and acts like. Also provide a full proof way to know they’re not safe to be alone with before you’re actually alone. [Trigger Warning] I have no idea how many have done the work percentage wise, probably not that many. My social circle is entirely made up of people in 12 step fellowships so the percentage is higher there, but even there, the percentage is somewhat less than half really doing the deep work. I spent 15 years+ in the rooms not acknowledging that porn and other kinds of acting out are a problem, so I know how easy it is to stay in long term denial about these things. I think if you are only willing to date people t…	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	31/12/19 09:29 PM
7	OPEN Q&A THREAD FOR MEN: Explain to FDS what a rapist looks, talks, and acts like. Also provide a full proof way to know they’re not safe to be alone with before you’re actually alone. [Trigger Warning] I had no idea. I just found a chapter in that book linked in another post here and it rang true to my experience of eroticising old wounds.	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	31/12/19 08:37 PM
36	OPEN Q&A THREAD FOR MEN: Explain to FDS what a rapist looks, talks, and acts like. Also provide a full proof way to know they’re not safe to be alone with before you’re actually alone. [Trigger Warning] All men are socialized to rape, as it is the primary way we are taught in male supremacy culture to perform our sex and differentiate maleness from not maleness. The chapter on rapist ethics in this book: Refusing to be a Man: Essays on Social Justice https://g.co/kgs/MM1t8x goes into it in much more detail. Clearly the argument from men than women should be able to tell who's a rapist is a con to deflect from the fact that we all are. IMO, the most effective way to reduce individual risk is to …	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	31/12/19 02:59 PM