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View 1 post and 36 comments by aclarn on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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Upvotes Title Category Author Subreddit Date (UTC)
13

aclarn/r/MarriedRedPill10/08/16 12:42 PM
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
1

Wanted to give a further update in case others are in this position. I have stayed off of this sub while going through the separation and divorce. I did not think it warranted another post and I also do not plan to continue activity here. The divorce is done now and my life is finally settling down. Once I stood up for myself there was no way to keep the marriage in tact. Despite that it was worth it and I am thankful for this conversation kicking it off. There is a light at the end of the tunne…
/r/MarriedRedPill07/12/16 08:55 PM
2

Thanks again man. I will remain open to new possibilities while I am sorting stuff out. I am making a plan for divorce.
/r/MarriedRedPill29/08/16 09:51 PM
2

Thanks for checking up and for the encouragement. Not sure yet about the therapist. The first meeting was essentially an introduction and putting me on the list. First true appointment won't be for a couple of weeks. Yes, I am absolutely intent on moving to the Rockies. I am putting a plan in place to get this done in the next year. It would fit my lifestyle much better, all my hobbies are adventure sports that are at home in the mountains. In the mean time I am moving into my own place in the s…
/r/MarriedRedPill29/08/16 07:04 PM
2

OYS 8/25/2016 The GOOD Have not missed a lifting day or a workout since last post. My slow bulk is back on track. Hit PR on deadlift and matched my PR on OHP and squat but at a lower bodyweight. Reading. I am almost done with the codependency book. All of this stuff is a huge wake up call to me. I also made it to a male therapist and got that ball rolling. Made a list of some very concrete and achievable goals I can use as an outline for the near term (1 year approximately). The BAD Not able to …
/r/MarriedRedPill25/08/16 09:58 PM
1

This is what I have been doing. I know for sure now that she is totally incapable of any kind of intimacy and will be for the foreseeable future. Plan B is becoming plan A right now. Still feel guilty about it right now though, that might take a while for me to get through.
/r/MarriedRedPill23/08/16 12:19 PM
1

Fair enough. Deleted it.
/r/MarriedRedPill19/08/16 06:48 PM
1

Glad to hear it. I also have managed to maintain control in this regard but I had it easier with no kids. I spend most my free time pursuing my hobbies. It seems to be rare though, or more likely all my married friends are weak-sauce.
/r/MarriedRedPill19/08/16 05:42 PM
1

Maybe my communication wasn't clear. What I meant by "going through it" was this red pill education. I don't know anyone in person who is taking this journey yet. I think I see blue pill problems with almost every married man I know though, I have no illusions about being unique in this regard. My brother's life is totally ruled by his wife. Most of my old friends are no longer allowed outside of their wife's sphere of control. I find very few married men that are "allowed" to do the fun guy shi…
/r/MarriedRedPill19/08/16 04:00 PM
0

That is true. I guess I don't really know that this stuff is any better than r/deadbedrooms since I have never met anyone going through it in person and seen what their life is like. For all I know you guys all live with your moms but at least you don't accept defeat as easily as they seem to. I assumed after a certain point, once you are pretty happy with your station and are confident you can continue on your own you would leave though. I know I would. It seems like if this stuff works you sho…
/r/MarriedRedPill19/08/16 04:22 AM
3

OYS 8/18/2016 Wife moved into the spare bedroom. We don't see each other much at all, which right now is good. I set up an appointment with a male therapist whose bio says something about helping men "deal with their changing roles in our present day culture". I am hoping this means he gets it. I will see though. Either way I will need somebody as many of you pointed out to help me clear my head. I spend almost all my free time with my hobbies and exercise. I rock climb and I am meeting lots of …
/r/MarriedRedPill19/08/16 03:56 AM
2

That helps a lot actually. I always have taken that approach with working out and it has worked well for the last few years. I would rather make a small change I can sustain then a big one that I can't.
/r/MarriedRedPill19/08/16 03:25 AM
2

I have already been pushing the books on my friends. I see it everywhere with the guys I grew up with. A lot of them are worse off than me. I just never had the insight to see what exactly was going on. Thanks for the background, that helps.
/r/MarriedRedPill19/08/16 03:22 AM
2

Yep, that much is clear. That is true with any endeavor. Although I do enjoy teaching and leading new people in arenas where I am capable (not relationships obviously). Teaching others is a great way to build mastery - explaining things to others leaves less room for errors.
/r/MarriedRedPill19/08/16 03:16 AM
0

Yeah, I probably missed some things when I read it.
/r/MarriedRedPill19/08/16 03:08 AM
3

If those if you who have it pretty well figured out were the only ones here what would be the point? It would just be a circle jerk. Then again maybe that's what you're after. I would have followed a first post format if I saw it though.
/r/MarriedRedPill18/08/16 11:10 PM
2

I can't sleep anyway so here is an update before I head out for those that are interested. I won't repeat verbatim but I will give the gist of it. Of all the reading material suggested I started with WISNIFG since it was in the sidebar and I had overlooked it. I crammed through a good portion of it during the day that is a damn good book. I really needed that. I told her she doesn't get to decide who I sleep with anymore. She agreed with me and then said I can't sleep with mutual friends. I said…
/r/MarriedRedPill12/08/16 11:18 AM
1

The flair thing? I knew you guys are putting the dunce hat on me I just don't care. You think you know me from one story? Just because I am weak in my romantic relationships doesn't mean I am weak everywhere. I put the relationship on hold until further notice. We both recognize the most likely outcome is divorce. She is moving into the other room for now. I plan to get some counseling for myself before jumping into something. I am still taking a few days to myself. I can give you guys a better …
/r/MarriedRedPill12/08/16 01:36 AM
1

I have read "Ghosts in the Bedroom". I found it somewhat helpful and fucking depressing in a sobering way at the same time. I will add this one to my growing list.
/r/MarriedRedPill11/08/16 02:07 AM
1

Awesome. Thanks for the books. I have been devouring stuff lately. MMSLP I already read but probably not that helpful in my situation
/r/MarriedRedPill11/08/16 02:04 AM
1

Yes I know I am fucked up too. That is what I meant when I talked about feeling like I woke up in a war zone now that the goggles are coming off. Thanks for the input brother, a lot of that hits home hard.
/r/MarriedRedPill11/08/16 01:54 AM
2

The change lasted exactly one week then crashed and burned. Edit: I am not sure of the timing when I told her I thought we should consider an open relationship. It might have been before this active week actually. Edit2: Been thinking on this and I remember now. One of the last sessions that week she got triggered and we had to stop. Part of me learning about ptsd and child abuse I have learned that I get swapped for the abuser in her head. The thought of this creeped me the fuck out. The though…
/r/MarriedRedPill10/08/16 11:38 PM
1

I just find it interesting that an open relationship is so obviously blue pill to everyone and yet nothing seems more counter to male reality and supportive of the female agenda than monogamy to me. I will check out thefamilyalpha.
/r/MarriedRedPill10/08/16 11:05 PM
1

I get it and have been 100% convinced of 1 and 2 when I look at it objectively. However, learning to correct years (decades) of fucked up thinking and horrible habits is the challenge. I think the open relationship thing was a bit of me throwing spaghetti at the wall to see what sticks. Also I am beginning to doubt that monogamy could ever be satisfying and it certainly does not seem ideal to me. Are you happy with monogamy? Even if your lady bangs you whenever you want don't you still want othe…
/r/MarriedRedPill10/08/16 09:52 PM
1

Haha : ) that should probably not be funny as it is no longer 1987 and yet it still is.
/r/MarriedRedPill10/08/16 08:36 PM
2

That is why I posted here instead of askmrp. I am not afraid of criticism and I obviously need it as my own decisions in this area are fucked. Learned a lot by doing it and I don't regret it, have a lot to chew on. I have not got to WISNIFG - I missed that one, I will start that now. I know that I would have done the same thing with any female and you are right I would do it with the next one unless I figure this out.
/r/MarriedRedPill10/08/16 08:33 PM
0

LOL! Nice to meet you Pot. -Kettle
/r/MarriedRedPill10/08/16 07:24 PM
1

If this is the wrong sub let the moderator take it down I haven't done a lot of posting but I assumed it worked like that. From what I read askmrp sounded like it was designed for people to ask questions when they were afraid to get picked on.
/r/MarriedRedPill10/08/16 07:13 PM
1

I will try that next time.
/r/MarriedRedPill10/08/16 07:01 PM
1

Yep. We have been down the therapy road. She was seeing a therapist during an all day program for a couple of months. She is out of that now and seeing a normal therapist weekly as well as someone that is supposed to help her with ptsd. Is it a real relationship? Hell no. Is it a hostage situation? Not sure yet.
/r/MarriedRedPill10/08/16 06:55 PM
1

Yes, I have already come to most of those realizations. Including realizing that there is a really good chance our marriage will not work as it was essentially founded on our social disorders fitting together well. That is painfully obvious to me now. But you pointed something really insightful I think which is that I need to get my head on straight before beginning to tackle my marriage. I think I need to find some time to travel alone.
/r/MarriedRedPill10/08/16 06:41 PM
1

No kids! At least I did good on that one. She has the thing in her arm, there is no missing the pill on that deal.
/r/MarriedRedPill10/08/16 04:03 PM
1

Yep. You make some good points. I made a comment elsewhere about the open relationship part of it that I won't repeat. My wife works and brings a lot to the table as a partner; it is not really me paying for her life and dragging a boat anchor. What do I want out of life? That is a great question. I have done pretty well with this question outside of romantic/sexual relationships. I am well paid, have awesome hobbies and friends and am healthy. I will keep thinking about it. Thanks for the chall…
/r/MarriedRedPill10/08/16 03:56 PM
1

That is interesting that you told her you don't care. I will have to think about that in the future. So how would you tell between manipulation and true mental illness? I hear you about the open relationship thing. Maybe it is weak. I do not feel like she would fuck other dudes. I think she is too much of a mess to even attempt that. If she did I just do not feel threatened by that. I get everyone thinks I should but I don't. Maybe I would if it happened, it is hard to say. Either way there are …
/r/MarriedRedPill10/08/16 03:28 PM
1

You are totally right about 2. Thanks for that. I am not sure you are right about her being able to fuck someone else comfortably though. She probably would do it but any type of penetration seems to trigger her. I know what you are saying is the standard thinking and I get that it is unlikely my situation is an exception to the rule. I am not seeing a way to prove that one way or the other though. She basically seems asexual and she has very occasional (once a quarter maybe, used to be monthly …
/r/MarriedRedPill10/08/16 02:27 PM
2

Good points. She was broken sexually before we met. She was also traumatized and suppressed a lot of it, it came out after beginning treatment after marriage. It is definitely possible that me being a bitch has not helped but as the stories have surfaced her childhood was pretty messed up. I don't feel as much like a victim as I do a dumb fuck for not seeing this stuff for what it is and getting myself here. I liked your point of trying to get to whether I care or not. I will think on that.
/r/MarriedRedPill10/08/16 01:36 PM
1

Hello, new to this. Found it recently after being put off by r/deadbedrooms and the general acceptance of defeat there. I am married, have had massive problems with a healthy sex life with my partner. Seeing positive changes already though. OWNING Reading - read NMMNG. I found it totally disturbing in a good way. Realized pretty immediately that my entire framework around relationships has been wrong. Also reading MMSLP and finding it helpful. I am a little annoyed no one taught me this shit as …
/r/MarriedRedPill21/07/16 06:32 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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