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alpha_chupacabra9 Archive

View 1 posts and 189 comments by alpha_chupacabra9 on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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Upvotes Title Category Author Subreddit Date (UTC)
61

Alpha_Chupacabra9/r/MarriedRedPill30/11/22 05:21 PM
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
2

The disrespect needs to be stopped dead in its tracks every time, she should apologize to you then and there, and that should be the end of the night. Disrespect needs to be addressed, but apologizes are just Goobly Gobbly mouth noises when what really matters are their subsequent actions. Don’t empower someone by needing their apology.
/r/MarriedRedPill17/06/23 09:55 PM
1

She broke down and talked about her fear of aging, midlife crisis etc. Lots of fucking the weekend after I confronted her, followed by another weekend of her getting drunk and being disrespectful in front of others. She threw a lot of shit out to manipulate you to see what would stick. Then immediately went back into her same old actions. What did you do with said disrespectful behavior to establish boundaries? What were the results? It’s important to me that we have a good relationship and get …
/r/MarriedRedPill17/06/23 09:50 PM
3

Sharing notes going solo was helpful for me. It really put me out my comfort zone, but I have had some awesome experiences doing so. Going out with a group can be a self-limiting crutch. Just go out, be attractive, and see what the world presents to you. It may not be how you see yourself now and who knows maybe not who you will want to be, but trying it on will help answer those questions. Yes, there will be girls in their 20s and yes they may be attracted to you, but you are not powerless in t…
/r/MarriedRedPill09/06/23 12:56 AM
2

I’ve adopted that grinder mentality into my personality. More like Into your identity. Who are you if you not a “grinder?” Is this even an accurate self-representation? What if sometimes you get better results from doing less?
/r/MarriedRedPill08/06/23 10:48 PM
3

Wife has started blowing me basically every morning before I leave but I deliberately don’t finish. than my soon to be whore ex wife. These women are filthy and do things sexually I used to dream about Yes, punish them… I don’t really care anymore. I feel dead inside but my results are speaking for themself Your results speak for themselves according to who? The guy who feels dead inside? The program is called lift the weight from a to b, add weight or reps every workout and don’t be a pussy. I …
/r/MarriedRedPill08/06/23 03:09 AM
1

If you start having a reputation of a player, you’d really have to work double to get to the good ones. More scarcity. This isn’t true, plus it would be the easiest shit test of all time.
/r/MarriedRedPill07/06/23 08:25 PM
1

Welcome back
/r/MarriedRedPill07/06/23 08:16 PM
2

Would you do anything different or how would you calibrate if your were to handle the situation again? STFU is there for you so that you don’t react emotionally feeding the storm. It is net neutral or to parry, dodge, absorb the emotions of your wife. Eventually, you are going to have to assert your boundaries with stuff like: in which she began to insult me and say that I'm crazy and need medication blah blah blah. I didn't respond, just listened to her yammer. She was very mean and said hurtfu…
/r/MarriedRedPill05/06/23 01:15 PM
1

I didn't want to burn the few better opportunities. Scarcity mindset. There are near infinite inter/intra opportunities both across and within individuals respectively. If you keep waiting for the perfect hand what do you suppose is the opportunity cost?
/r/MarriedRedPill05/06/23 12:35 AM
3

I need to eat more. Maintaining caloric surplus is hard, I need to use planning to overcome this. Stop with this DEER week after week. Put what you did and what your results were, that may actually elicit feedback that is favorable for you or others. You practice this here, you are likely implementing it elsewhere as well. Own what is you actually did, the results, and your thoughts about what may or may not have worked.
/r/MarriedRedPill02/06/23 04:02 PM
2

I am trying to play nice. According to who? What does playing nice for yourself look like? However, I truly think I am able to be less angry and reactive to the situation Of course, because you are still in the denial stage. Thinking you can finesse and fix things. Control how your wife or others might think of you. Accept the anger, grief, and channel those energies smartly to help you do what you want to benefit yourself. That will inch you towards acceptance. Accept that as shitty as it is, y…
/r/MarriedRedPill26/05/23 03:02 PM
2

Family Not interested, keep that shit for your mates. Did you express this? Because fogging is just skirting the issue, and this DEER isn’t it: ”The family’s always been like this, why stress about it now”. So what is it you want with your family? Do you even want to have contact with them? If so, do you want it with certain boundaries/expectations in place and how do you go about setting those? Because it looks your wife is following through on her end: I trust you”. Referencing conversation sh…
/r/MarriedRedPill24/05/23 09:57 PM
2

All I see if the ugliest parts of my own ego when I look at this. “House projects are nothing to it” according to who? Sometimes that may be exactly the most important thing someone can do in their journey. So you’re super special, does that mean the tools here don’t apply to you? Cool there are probably other paths, go do those and report back. Or if the tools do apply, cool STFU and use them and report back on what you’ve done.
/r/MarriedRedPill18/05/23 05:32 PM
2

Horns is a natural alpha anyway, not so relatable for me. I'll keep my eye out for a reformed Career Beta. Not that I think he cares, but this diminishes his work and only serves as self-limiting belief for you. So in your mind what qualities do you project onto horns as “alpha” and what can you do help grow those in yourself? When you only look at the finished product you miss the uncomfortable that helped make it comfortable. Fuck yeah - there's hope, though it doesn't seem true to me. I still…
/r/MarriedRedPill17/05/23 05:14 PM
1

You’re right this is projection, but isn’t it all? That’s the fire I want to carry, as I’m thankful others carried fire as well.
/r/MarriedRedPill17/05/23 02:06 AM
1

Deida says "Other people see you better than you see yourself". Naw, they just offer a different lens. I also want to say this comes with a huge asterisk for NG dependent types for projective identification and to allow yourself to be gaslighted back into your cage by others.
/r/MarriedRedPill17/05/23 01:16 AM
3

Deida You’ve brought him up enough to either be putting him on a pedestal or fetishizing him. Invested time with coach and form lifting videos to really spot and practice plugging leaks in my squat and deadlift. Nothing has helped me more with lifting than doing the lifting. Cues for Mind-muscle connection, technique, and art of lifting really only made sense to me and were able to be fine-tuned as I was better attuned to my own body and muscles through practicing the lifts over and over again.
/r/MarriedRedPill17/05/23 01:09 AM
1

Lifting: stopped lifting/gym entirely in the fall of 2022. Started again (6) weeks ago with a PPL that I run 4-5 days/week. Back to one plate bench, 180DL, and 155squat for 8-12 reps, far off from where I was in May 2022 (2 plate BP, 3 plate DL, 265 squat). It will take time to get back and exceed and I am reminding myself it took an entre year last time. Health: 6’2”, 200lbs, est. 20% BF. I like being large as I was 160-175 most of my adult life. I don’t look bad but could cut some excess fat i…
/r/MarriedRedPill17/05/23 12:54 AM
2

It's fogging that I think it's more difficult. Acknowledging someone's emotions without validating them. I understand the concept, like throwing rocks at the fog. The fog acknowledges the rock but doesn't fight back. It's simple but it's not easy. You can validate someone’s emotions without taking ownership of them. Even an hard week like this, which is PMS week Is this the mindset you want to have? You are preempting yourself to walk on eggshells and tracking your chicks cycle. Whose frame do y…
/r/MarriedRedPill16/05/23 03:46 PM
1

17%bf Hope my legs will finally be in good shape by then, since I've been neglecting them for years. he can't compete with me physically or on paper. How could he with you setting the bar so high. It's not like they text after work or go out together She has barely been telling me about her days lately, because I imagine she tells this guy. Aside from this, she's pretty good to me, good sex, romance, affection etc. So you are outsourcing your beta, while getting what you want This is consuming t…
/r/MarriedRedPill08/05/23 09:34 PM
4

I also noticed that my dad, who although extremely moody/passive aggressive just acts out his desires and doesn’t worry about others getting in his way. I realize I need to learn from his assertiveness and discard the bad traits Being passive and passive-agressive =/= assertive. It is NG behavior. Being assertive means owning what you want without trying to hide it —> see your mission statement Got 15 lb away from 1000lb club before I had my newborn recently. Frustrated that I didn’t hit it but …
/r/MarriedRedPill02/05/23 08:30 PM
2

I took the lead and told my wife I was going to do ABC and i expected her to do XYZ. Set the time for everyone getting up, I planned it to some detail. Some detail or clear expectation of standards? You don’t get to punish if you don’t take responsibility Of course, wife wakes up more than half hour later than expected. We got late more than half an hour. If the standards were clearly laid out why are you enabling this behavior? That lead to an argument she asking me to explain what I did becaus…
/r/MarriedRedPill02/05/23 07:50 PM
1

(which I wanted to, but advice here was to not, fuck you guys I should have done it, resentment doesn't go away if the other person doesn't get to talk). STFU is vital as you are OYS 2. You are right in that it is only a neutral, but that is a positive direction when your words were consistently net negative. Talking can be an important piece, but it has to first be demonstrated through actions first and be congruent with whom you are. Physical: Bench 110lbs (5x5) Squat 130 (5x5) Free Weight Cur…
/r/MarriedRedPill02/05/23 05:25 PM
1

I’ve had good success with leg raises and weight crunches for for abs. While core strength is used to support about every lift, I’ve had to target them specifically to get a good response. I don’t feel that squats or deadlifts have ever adequately stimulated my abs on their own. I’ve also never felt like my abs were really stimulated from planks. I love high bar squats for their ability to target my legs. I’m also tall and have moved away from traditional deadlifting. I use trapbar deadlift, but…
/r/MarriedRedPill01/05/23 07:23 PM
2

You’re right on the first two. Tines’ question about FOMO was a good one (though identifying it doesn’t resolve it). You’re right, you are going to have to make your choice The third, maybe but I don’t think fearing complacency is a bad thing. Do you respond to that fear from a place inside your frame or react to it? On the fourth, I’d say wanting a reset is embracing the unknown which is sort of the opposite of wanting a problem free life. Are you embracing the unknown or running away?
/r/MarriedRedPill28/04/23 12:54 AM
1

I didn’t date around / sleep with a lot of women before, so maybe that’s part of it…an abundance mindset without ever having tasted abundance is kind of a weird place to be, especially with a higher SMV than I’ve ever had. I’m afraid on what I am missing out on. I think I’ve been hung up on her motivations because I’m waiting for the effort to revert since it took me wanting divorce to prompt change. I’m working on letting that go and just focusing on actions though. I’m afraid she will become c…
/r/MarriedRedPill27/04/23 05:12 PM
8

You have half a masters thesis on your wife while you dedicated less than a paragraph to addressing the issue of you being fat and weak. Stats: 39yrs, 6’4”, 195lbs, 23% Body Fat (online calculator) Wife 41yrs, Together 17yrs, 2 kids - 10y, 6y Physical: Bench 110lbs (5x5) Squat 120 (5x5) Free Weight Curls 20lb 5x5
/r/MarriedRedPill26/04/23 12:44 AM
2

Leg drive Gorilla glute press. You can do this from the floor as well by lifting your butt off of the bench in pseudo decline fashion as well. Why does 300 matter though? 1 rep max strength work will always be 1 marshmallow today.
/r/MarriedRedPill19/04/23 06:44 PM
2

Killingtheblue already gave you a very good detail for your situation. I’ll just point out that this mental model might not be helpful: I tried to stay away from fixing feelz If you want and feel like it is earned, you want to fix the feelz not the problem. fogging can be good. ”Everyone hates me, they're all out to get me." A&A “You’re right I’ll call up WITSEC now” All this is to say is, you are offering an escape/stability from those negative emotions.
/r/MarriedRedPill19/04/23 01:57 PM
2

I guess not appearing to be a robot, or someone too insecure to allow emotion to show? These factors are framed external to yourself Whereas; When I'm asked how I'm feeling I'd prefer not to lie about it. seems more intrinsic. I thought I read something specific to this in mrp books/posts but couldn't find it again when I looked. There are a few. perhaps this this is the one u/killingtheblue at which point your open and honest communication demonstrates domination/control over your own emotions,…
/r/MarriedRedPill14/04/23 06:47 PM
3

What’s with all the “we,” “our,” “us,” and “most guys” stuff. Stop speaking for everyone else and own your shit.
/r/MarriedRedPill13/04/23 06:47 PM
1

I never lift rep max ranges below 5 reps. My goals are similar to yours and I consider myself strong just not by demonstrable performance metric of 1 rep max because if I get injured there goes consistency. You can still keep barbell movements as leads to measure progress albeit at a higher rep range.
/r/MarriedRedPill12/04/23 07:02 PM
1

I met with my coach and discussed making strength a higher priority Why prioritize strength? What are your goals with lifting? Strength as measured by one rep max is a skill. When you prioritize for this skill you place other things on the back burner. I agree with u/futilefighter’s assessment
/r/MarriedRedPill12/04/23 12:35 AM
1

Every day I feel like an idiot for not consistently lifting until recently. I'm not far off from being the most physically capable I've ever been at the age of fucking 36 in mediocre shape. IR 9. You didn’t know what you didn’t know, offer yourself grace and build those small victories for yourself.
/r/MarriedRedPill11/04/23 04:48 PM
1

I saw a post on RPW where a women expresses gratitude for having embraced female sexual strategy and becoming more feminine and attractive. I don’t expect SO will go that route. You gonna role model that behavior first? It’s my job to take us where we both, knowingly or unknowingly, want to go: attracted af to each other. Not it’s your job to take you where you want to go. Leadership is about providing the right skills/opportunity that they might if you both choose walk that same path. After low…
/r/MarriedRedPill07/04/23 03:25 AM
1

1800 calories is a fairly aggressive cut, but you are not losing weight for months now. If they put you on an SSRI/SNRI they don’t break the laws of thermodynamics/conservation of mass. Is there a problem with how you are tracking calories? Have you been inconsistent with efforts? As far as anxiety and emotions, lifting has helped to calm anxiety and boost my mood better if not as good as anything else.
/r/MarriedRedPill07/04/23 12:13 AM
2

Most days I am burning 450 calories at least according to my fitness tracker in terms of total steps, dedicated walks and strength workouts Fitness trackers are notoriously inaccurate. You’ve gained, not lost 1 kg in 6 almost months.
/r/MarriedRedPill06/04/23 04:28 PM
3

Using guilt/shame, deflecting, fear, rationalizing/negotiating. Why wouldn’t she use the tools that have always worked for her. It’s hard to own your shit, no? Good news is you know how to navigate these now. You’re going to have decide if you want to live your beta revenge fantasy, own what is you want and provide some leadership, or just cut your losses. No choice is wrong. And It sucks to feel like you’ve worked yourself into ground only to see someone who appears to have only put in a margin…
/r/MarriedRedPill04/04/23 06:58 PM
2

I will be fun, light, confident, and unbothered by whatever silly chaos ensues when other people make dumb choices. How do you go about concretely about realizing this goal? I’d be careful in falling into the trap of being those things for others. At times, the appropriate boundary for myself has been to protect those qualities by limiting my exposure to amount of chaos I allow to be in my life. Practically that means investing my times in energy elsewhere. Spending time with friends, lifting, t…
/r/MarriedRedPill04/04/23 06:05 PM
1

You wife is the main character of your narrative and life. I doubt your wife is having feelings of dread related to her fat, validation/cuddle-Seeking, premature ejaculating husband like you think she is. But it is okay you can be better. I’d start with a heavy dose of STFU and here: 5'9" | 185 lbs | 24% BF (lbs) BP 210 | OHP 145 | SQ 235 | DL 275
/r/MarriedRedPill04/04/23 12:41 AM
1

I apologize for my rudeness. Had too much wine and was in a bad place. Just stfu, read, and lift. This apology sucks by the way.
/r/MarriedRedPill03/04/23 03:04 PM
1

I was entertaining myself by interacting with a chatGPT equivalent the other day and the AI responses look like about every response you gave to your OYS. It looks like you’re hiding behind assertiveness. Even so, the "you" that I perceive through this lens is probably quite different from the "you" I'd perceive if I "knew" you. Who cares, be old buddies if you want to. How well do really “know” anyone?
/r/MarriedRedPill02/04/23 07:31 PM
1

I liked wendlars BBB and went into the BBB 3 month challenge when I started my first bulk with positive results. Lyle McDonald’s intermediate generic bulking template and Renaissance periodization general principals as it related to hypertrophy also seem good.
/r/MarriedRedPill30/03/23 08:17 PM
4

She wasn't able to come though-- when she has had a few drinks, it becomes a lot more difficult to get her to come. With you She said I said goodnight in a creepy way-- no idea what that was about. It means she tested your frame and you folded She tells me I'm being too aggressive, but then seems to complain that I'm moving too slow sometimes. And again I'm going to try a more dominant push-pull next time and push through the soft no's but then take a step back and let her want me to continue th…
/r/MarriedRedPill28/03/23 06:43 PM
2

Fundamental question: For the longest time I have been recording my best 5rep max, but is that really the best metric to use when comparing progress? I never do 1 rep maxes because I workout alone and feel like 1 rep maxing doesn't give you tangible results, its more of an ego datapoint. Am I totally off base here? I am on the StrongLifts 5x5 program. Yes if you’re running 5x5 the amount of weight you push on your 5 rep sets is the indicator of progress. Now if your questions is are 5 rep sets t…
/r/MarriedRedPill28/03/23 12:41 AM
14

up, up, down, down, left, right, left, right, B, A and Start
/r/MarriedRedPill27/03/23 04:35 PM
2

Are you sure you want to know?
/r/MarriedRedPill23/03/23 04:22 PM
3

But what about the drunk girl at a bar? Seems like a great target for flirting but not so great for talking about unique topics. That's where I noticed I'm really weak. You’re kidding right? The old PUA openers were like “so do you floss before or after your brush?” Because guess what the superficial explicit verbal shit does really matter that much it’s all the stuff below the surface. Attractive people men/women flirt with one another with the greater context through non verbal means (eye cont…
/r/MarriedRedPill21/03/23 01:50 AM
2

I see your point Blarg. But I disagree. And that's OK Humor me, what do you disagree with? Here are some notes Tate, meh, I have conflicting ideas about the man. He is a salesman, but he is right about the importance of respect Jordan Peterson Had some valuable tools/thoughts to help create a more integrated self Casey? Don't know that man. Ok, so what have you learned from PUAs? Why does knowing him matter? Why does the man matter? Can you separate the person/persona from what they may or may h…
/r/MarriedRedPill20/03/23 10:39 PM
3

Anyways. Let me hear it guys. Don't be soft, I won't get hard. Naw, flog your own self.
/r/MarriedRedPill15/03/23 02:34 PM
2

I am not sure what to do with the OYS content, but have promised myself to get to 52. Stats from more than half a year ago. OYS 25 6’1” 91kg/200lbs. DL 117kg/257lbsx5; SQ 100kg/220lbsx5; BP 96kg/211lbsx5.
/r/MarriedRedPill15/03/23 01:36 PM
1

If you determine the need, isn’t the apology really for yourself? And if they apologize is for you, if it isn’t from a place authenticity/sincerity isn’t anything less supplicative?
/r/MarriedRedPill08/03/23 01:05 AM
2

I'll be honest, I know almost nothing about lifting for maximizing strength Do you want to have maximally strength as typically defined as 1rm powerlifting movements or do you want to put on a lot of muscles and be aesthetic. Putting on muscle you will still be strong, but strength as defined by 1rm is a skill in which mass is just one component of. I need to maximize recovery time Naw, my experience has been is you only need prioritize recovery as much as you need to recover to be able to lift …
/r/MarriedRedPill06/03/23 08:32 PM
1

Why are you so beholden to strict calisthenics? All it is using your body weight as a tool/implement to challenge your body. How is that any different than using any other training implement wether it be a barbell, dumbbell, or machine? To answer your question I use calisthenics movements for weight training because some of them are effective for my goals (leg raises, weighted pull ups/chin ups, push-up variations, and weighted dips). As with anything they have a neurological component so thread…
/r/MarriedRedPill04/03/23 01:16 AM
6

This is OYS reads like an RP bingo sheet. Organized a dinner with friends during the week. I organized everything 1 week on advance and this time I didn't confirm with everyone if they would still come to have dinner. Before I'd have the urge to confirm, now, I just trust them to show up. 2 of them didn't show up, 1 DEERed, the other didn't even bother. Before I'd take this as a personal attack (to my ego), now I just don't really care. I cannot control other people and that's OK It is good that…
/r/MarriedRedPill01/03/23 08:41 AM
3

I’m finding a balance around when to apologize. There’s shit on both sides Who are you apologizing for? The shit here is twofold: stop apologizing when there’s no need to, do apologize when there is a need, even if the person I owe it to is angry. Who determines that need?
/r/MarriedRedPill01/03/23 04:41 AM
3

Tl:dr I did nothing over the past month, but realized this so I came here to attest that I realize I need to do stuff. My wife had an exam and I watched the kids, which made me super butthurt so I avoided her for a week. Nevermind, in stanza 3 I revert my previous statement and just maybe want to do stuff. Is this really who you want to be? If not, STFU until you actually do stuff then report on that.
/r/MarriedRedPill01/03/23 04:25 AM
3

You built your body up with lifting. You built your game with your approaches. Now comes the hardest, but most important part in building and owning your frame. There is a difference between being domineering and dominant, but I think you are about ready to oak up
/r/MarriedRedPill01/03/23 01:28 AM
3

Lifting was limited this week (2x with flu). I also have been stuck working at home more. Do you have a home gym? Incorporate high quality sets throughout your day. Take 5 and do some cluster sets/myoreps. Thread these in throughout your day along with your current plan if you can recover between sessions. Fucked up STFU by asking directly for more help around the house (eg put trash in trash can instead of on floor) and then trying to logically argue about chore distribution. I know, I'm a fuck…
/r/MarriedRedPill28/02/23 11:51 PM
3

Have you sat down together discussed those roles and what the standards you want are and what those practically look like. If so, do you want to keep enabling this: Messy house, more expenses for outsourced help and/or cost of convenience, additional (necessary) tasks fall on my plate Despite having full-time help and the kids being in school, she always has some excuse and I’m left to make my own dinner Perhaps something else for you to explore with your boundaries is to stop protecting people …
/r/MarriedRedPill24/02/23 02:46 AM
2

Unfortunately I can't do traditional back squat, yet. Why?
/r/MarriedRedPill22/02/23 08:24 PM
4

I victim puked on the wife about the anniversary of my brother's death. Was feeling a lot of anger toward him and resentment towards her. I know I need to stop. It could have been worse. I need to disconnect how I feel from the actions/words of others and think more objectively. Naw man I don’t think you can STFU (repress) your feelings here. Perhaps meeting with a therapist to gain tools to help you better deal with this trauma yourself would be helpful. This doesn’t mean that your emotions nee…
/r/MarriedRedPill22/02/23 04:10 AM
5

Some stuff I agree, other stuff I don't totally disagree. I have too much ego. Always have been. It's a problem. Sometimes I'm irrationally confident but most of the time that helped me a lot in my life. Of course you do But, there's just one point I think it's relevant to DEER: You can’t stop yourself can you? Accept his above response as a gift. If you find it helpful, great. If there is a general sincere question then ask that. But this is neither of those, this if just your ego and need to b…
/r/MarriedRedPill15/02/23 01:21 AM
9

I am still avoiding rejection. My homework for the week is to put the beta-dad stuff on hold each day until I’ve spent 30 minutes gaming the wife once I get home. Why do you need to game your wife for 30 minutes every day or have an hour of dad horseplay time? Just play games with your wife as it is fun for you and initiate when you want to. The whole spreadsheet mentality of time investment reeks of dancing monkey/covert contracts. Just do them because you think you would like to try them or ac…
/r/MarriedRedPill14/02/23 06:59 PM
3

I read this post everyday Why, besides the fact that it makes you feel good? Isn’t some part of that post advocating “to do” instead? I want a business that spans generations and be in an income bracket that is so insulated by wealth that I never have to stress about the economy or political climate again. So you are a nice guy still looking for a way to create a problem free life I really don't have a problem with socializing in general, my main sticking point is aggressively vetting (having st…
/r/MarriedRedPill14/02/23 03:31 PM
2

One of the biggest problems I (and likely most boopers) faced pre-MRP was frame, but I didn't know it. I tried to look at, understand, and discuss things as I saw them then. Like most (all?) women, my wife operated in her own emotional framework because it is who she is and it was effective for her. Despite it not making sense, I compromised between my reality and her emotionally driven perception of reality. Once she was rewarded because I acquiesced to her frame, it was game on and I was fucke…
/r/MarriedRedPill10/02/23 03:49 PM
1

Sounds like something to try, and report back on. If capacity is an issue, working some in the 12 rep and 20 rep set ranges have helped me in this area, and will have the added benefit of being lighter/easier on your joints and likely culminating less systemic fatigue. Along with perhaps providing a novel stimulus for growth. I also feel like muscle soreness and overreaching are not bad things, especially as they relate to adaption. You don’t want to stay overreached, but my own experience, I’ve…
/r/MarriedRedPill07/02/23 09:22 PM
1

More high quality work vs more recovery. What is the argument for either of those tools, and given that what would you guess you need?
/r/MarriedRedPill07/02/23 03:16 PM
0

Man's Search For Meaning, Victor Frankl Does our suffering have meaning? Suffer through the soreness of lifting and your muscles adapt and grow. Suffer by pushing yourself in uncomfortable social situations so you can build comfort with yourself in engaging others. Suffer with owning a honest self-assessment of your shortcomings so you can address those areas of weakness. Suffering that doesn’t break you, tempers you.
/r/MarriedRedPill02/02/23 01:45 AM
3

5x5: Squat 65, Bench 50, Row 70, Overhead 49, Deadlift 105 These lifts… might try running an AMRAP at the end of each set and bumping the numbers by 10lbs each week if you hitting like 12+ reps on each set, or at least 10/5 lbs lower/upper body. Lifted only once last week (yikes! details under Relationship). Please read attached essay below with all my excuses on why I didn’t honor a commitment I made on something I said was important to me. Probably too many uses "she" in this OYS, but I'm not …
/r/MarriedRedPill02/02/23 12:54 AM
3

Stats: 177, 78kg, calisthenics athlete I don’t lift if not my weight (yeah insult me, you are surely right ,but I still prefer to train this way) 11/12% bf Did you ever think that your ego on stupid shit that doesn’t matter like this may also be manifesting and negatively impacting you in other areas of your life as well?
/r/MarriedRedPill01/02/23 03:01 PM
1

Great for him, but (despite his late start) he's an outlier 🐹 Are those strength standards there to help you, or create roadblocks /excuses to tell yourself why you can’t do something? (Edited)
/r/MarriedRedPill27/01/23 09:04 PM
2

She brought up the fact that we haven’t discussed when we would talk to the children. My kids were involved in a crazy incident. It kinda went viral on social media so I’ll leave out details in order to keep anonymity. I haven’t talked to them one on one yet but, plan too as that was a bit traumatic. I can see myself easily with a promotion by year end if I just put in the work. I plan to join a gym soon so that I have access to better equipment and possibly a personal trainer. Dude what have yo…
/r/MarriedRedPill27/01/23 08:14 PM
3

I don’t follow your distinction re types of validation that are ok and types that aren’t. validation is fine, but by the time you get it you won’t need it How do you reconcile being super anxious and unreasonably confident at the same time (presumably re the same subject)? How did you squat 405 for the first time? Practically speaking, pursuing plates as a married man is definitely not ideal, especially if you’re doing it to be “saved” in some sense (not sure what you mean there). I viewed it as…
/r/MarriedRedPill26/01/23 02:39 PM
3

Dude your OYS timeline reads “complaint” “failed” “no progress.” While I’m all for goals and measuring stuff I think it would be beneficial for you to scale back on this and just do stuff. So maybe more of your OYS have words like “succeeded” “accomplished” and “Tried” in them that you could use to form a base to propel yourself off of.
/r/MarriedRedPill24/01/23 08:47 PM
3

Current Focus: - Losing weight/lifting. This is the #1 issue I need to kick in the balls and defeat. This is 100% in my control. - Stop worrying what others think about me. This one is 1a, but overcoming 43 years of habits is daunting. It may be time to man up and reach out for help in this one. Beating this will change me fundamentally, and I may need to admit I’m a pussy that needs help. I debate with myself if asking for help is a way to succeed or a way to dodge responsibility. If I keep the…
/r/MarriedRedPill24/01/23 08:19 PM
3

Your boundaries are your boundaries, but you ignore this As always, shittesting but also plain disrespect, like an heartfelt "fuck you" towards me, even in front of her mother and the kids. I laughed in her face and ignored. But nuke people calling to invite you last minute to do things… the issue isn’t with how your wife views that behavior as it may be fine for her. Why do others need to uphold your values? So what did you do other than build resentment and butthurt? Did you address the underl…
/r/MarriedRedPill24/01/23 06:08 PM
1

Naw man. What are your goals? Hypertrophy is king. Cardiovascular fatigue does not lead to muscular hypertrophy, it is only a limiting factor as far as capacity is concerned. For instance, how many calves raises/biceps curls would you have to do to reach cardiovascular fatigue…. All you’re doing is a bunch of junk volume most likely. Raise intensity. Try some AMRAP sets and work to add weight, reps, or sets. Total volume matters more when the overall quality of your work is challenging.
/r/MarriedRedPill19/01/23 03:36 PM
1

Just pretend for a minute that there is maybe just some kernel of truth of what is being proposed to you. How might you use those views being presented to help your further temper/strengthen yourself? I would also ask you what does it say about yourself that your lens of the gift being presented to you by u/fix-the-man is viewed as: You're trying to push really far your arguments just for the sake of being right, amirite?
/r/MarriedRedPill18/01/23 06:09 PM
4

Look at all that ego. You’re wrapped up in the identity of what masculinity means to you. If someone attacks you, you defend yourself, there is no need to even say this unless you need the validation that comes from having that be part of your identity. Are your friends constantly getting into fights? What boundaries need to be put in place to address this? Are you getting into frequent fights? Reread WISNIFG, this isn’t a strength. People recognize the weakness of your frame and lack of handlin…
/r/MarriedRedPill17/01/23 07:57 PM
3

With that image in mind, what are actionable steps today to achieve that? Walking, KETO, and lifting are all good but do not likely directly solve your weight issue long-term.
/r/MarriedRedPill10/01/23 08:49 PM
1

I agree with u/_RPeed, because seeking comfort/validation from your game is not attractive. Just put out the game you want to and own it. Me: Lmao. You've got to give me more to work with than that!
/r/MarriedRedPill07/01/23 12:18 AM
3

What I did well: I learned my lesson from Thanksgiving and stayed in macro range over the holidays. I started a reverse diet which is just blowing my mind: I get to eat more while still losing weight! What sorcery is this? CICO, calories in calories out. This is sabotaging yourself by making this magic or sorcery. If you are fatigued from dieting too long take a calculated diet break around your maintenance for a few days up to two weeks then jump back in, but there is no sorcery or magic just t…
/r/MarriedRedPill04/01/23 08:27 PM
1

Stats: 31 , 1,86m , 111kg , wife, 2 daughters - toddlers. You are fat, what are you doing about that? MS-buddies and at this moment are essential for keeping my cardio Only you are responsible for you. ”You can't go fucking other women unless your wife agrees, or if you want a divorce" and also "I only fuck women below 30 and above 40. You're not getting any good lay for the next 9 years" Copium I was way more attractive when asking it the next day: "Damn my dick is starting to strain, Wanna suc…
/r/MarriedRedPill28/12/22 11:20 PM
4

Sex: Negative - It's been about 2 years since my wife and I last had sex. Additionally - I can only think of a handful of times she's actually initiated sex throughout our relationship. I don't know why I didn't think of it as a red flag even when we were initially dating, but I'm changing my approach. I won't beg or cajole for sex (when it even worked) in the past, I'll better myself and once feeling comfortable not coming at her as a fat lard I'll work to up game and initiate positively. This …
/r/MarriedRedPill18/12/22 06:22 PM
2

What I did poorly 190 lb, 23% BF I was harsher than I needed to be with my wife when she behaved poorly. Probably better to clearly tell her what the problem is and then just STFU. Nah, lead yourself out of being fat before you worry about leading her and “just STFU.” Not to mention bringing up problems without solutions or even what the standard is, is shitty leadership anyway.
/r/MarriedRedPill14/12/22 08:22 PM
1

I’m interested in your thoughts. I think any attention is bad attention if it is reinforcing unwanted behavior, which is subjective. So with any behavior you want to stop you can eventually nuke or withdrawal attention, but A&A and fogging can be kind of a soft power or extension of your frame to someone offering them an out beforehand. I guess the nuance here being whether sharing that frame or giving that comfort is something you even want to do. Which is where you go from passing every shit t…
/r/MarriedRedPill14/12/22 03:53 AM
2

Have not done leaders/anchors from wendlars 5/3/1 forever. I’ve heard positive things about building the monolith. After you complete the three month challenge you might want to take what you’ve learned and experiment. Just keep pushing through any of the dials you can (weight added, reps added, sets added, increased training density, intensity techniques).
/r/MarriedRedPill08/12/22 03:36 AM
2

Haha, regressive underload
/r/MarriedRedPill07/12/22 08:19 PM
3

531 Training max: SQ: 155, DL: 215, BP: 172.5, OHP: 100 I switched from 5314B to BBB around two months ago. The main change is moving from 3 to 4 workouts per week and more volume in the main lifts. Although the short period of time I see clear muscle gains. Also, different than other 531 programs, in BBB there are no AMRAP sets, you just do 5, 3, or 1 rep in the last working set which removes some “mental” degrees of freedom. Next, I’ll try to follow Wendler’s recommendation and run an anchor c…
/r/MarriedRedPill07/12/22 06:42 PM
4

Traditionally, calling the bluff is the recommendation You are LARPING I don't want a divorce right now I have shored up my emotional reaction this round. I say there are other ways to please me but if you want a divorce that "sounds good" and leave the room. That sounds pretty reactive to me. It sounds like a game of chicken over divorce. When she asks again about the status of the 'process' is my frame 'here is the date for our consultation' or 'i dont think we should do this, but if you're mi…
/r/MarriedRedPill06/12/22 09:42 PM
0

Askmrp Wife hires a life coach (Yes, a strong woman!) in early November to help her "improve" and undue bad patterns. she gave me a hard no and says her vagina hurts She got more and more bitchy, culminating in accusing me of cheating when I was on my phone in another room Huh, but anyway here is what you need
/r/MarriedRedPill06/12/22 06:34 PM
1

What is “good” technique? Isn’t it based on the utility and the person?
/r/MarriedRedPill01/12/22 02:30 AM
1

What if something like your 20 rep max also represents your limits? 1rm is binary success or failure. There are more dots along the number line at higher rep counts assuming you will never be able to hit a whole integer at exactly 100% effort.
/r/MarriedRedPill01/12/22 02:01 AM
4

Your ego my man. Set it aside Last week it was your wife’s antidepressants literally mirroring your first week talking about her birth control. It also seemed to me some jealousy in your response here as well And I understand the feeling to put in so much effort only to feel people doing less of the work are getting results you want, but again man the world owes us shit. Your wife is fine. The stay plan is the go plan.
/r/MarriedRedPill30/11/22 02:01 AM
5

I am a weak, lonely, well dressed, autistic hobo on disability with two baby-mamas, an expensive lawyer, and dazzling teeth. Stop this, you are breaking Iron rule #9 you might as well start practicing that here. You can own your shit with strength and without the self-deprecation
/r/MarriedRedPill29/11/22 04:24 PM
1

I agree with /u/_rpeed with the caveat that you want to keep pushing the weight up with reps no lower than 5. Perfect is the enemy of good and this can just be another way to hamster instead of do. I still feel like every time I lift I’m becoming more attuned with my body and mind muscle connection. It is through action that it feedbacks into the loop and cements what I’ve read or heard about lifting form. I’d also say there is no such thing as perfect form it depends on the utility of what you …
/r/MarriedRedPill29/11/22 04:06 PM
1

I’ll add to this CMP, CBC, TSH, and lipid panel are fairly standard tests for annual check-ups. Ask for a testosterone level if you have concern and they will probably run that for you as well. Outside of specific complaints or chronic systemic inflammation, inflammation is not a bad thing. It likely, locally plays a part in muscle hypertrophy so things that inhibit it like (NSAIDS, ice baths, over consumption of vitamin C/E) may inhibit the muscle building process. For me, I have remind myself …
/r/MarriedRedPill22/11/22 06:40 PM
1

”I want to experience a great sex life before time passes me by, and I've done more than enough work on myself such that I should have that with my wife (or it should be on that trajectory). I had issues with entitlement and being punishing. I guess I finally found some peace with the fact that my wife and the rest of the world owes me shit and are fine the way they are, whether it is the way I want them to be or not. Outside of the prize mindset, I’m a gift whether my wife or anyone else apprec…
/r/MarriedRedPill17/11/22 08:51 PM
1

I also struggled/struggle a lot with letting go and finding a balance between push and pull and accepting others for who they are and not who I want them to be, without it being at the cost to myself. Good for you. I hope you are finding this in other areas of your life as well.
/r/askMRP15/11/22 07:06 PM
3

Aforementioned anger issues. There is still a part of me that masochistically enjoys playing stoic and then blowing up later over something mostly unrelated. It's a weak, reactive, position. Suppressing the anger doesn't really work, it blows out on some other area later and I notice the pattern from NMMNG. Tolerance is the virtue of the man without convictions. Stoicism is not the same as powerlessness. You are blowing up down the road because each time you act incongruent to yourself it builds…
/r/MarriedRedPill15/11/22 05:02 PM
3

I think of this as eating nutritious vegetables, which are less exciting but more human, rather than eating fast food and candy, and wanting more sugar from addiction. At some point, I might allow dessert back into my life, but now is not that point. Don’t be orthorexic food isn’t good or evil. It is just a tool to use. I can choose to “practice” on my wife, even though most men here seem to be affirmed and congratulated on walking away. If the stay plan is the go plan, then neither is better in…
/r/MarriedRedPill15/11/22 02:42 PM
3

Here is my take on the PUA stuff. It sounds really boring and result driven. Why not just approach with the intent to have fun and see what manifests? When I think about some of my successful attempts at building attraction it feels like it was driven from non-verbal things initially like eye contact, posture, and smile before a verbal encounter even starts. Even then, it is like playing a game where two people know the rules without directly acknowledging that a game is even being played.
/r/MarriedRedPill02/11/22 08:38 PM
2

Relationship: Having a hard time dealing with my wife. One day, she'll be constantly picking fights, the next she's constantly coming over for hugs. I think it's just her being pregnant, but it makes it hard to tell how well I'm doing passing shit tests. Until now, I've just been mentally noting how our interactions go, but it feels like I've responded to tests in similar ways and gotten completely different reactions from her. So I've decided to go full autist mode and start taking real notes o…
/r/MarriedRedPill01/11/22 03:52 PM
2

she just got mad and called me a bunch of names. I tried to use fogging while she was insulting me I'm just a pretty content person by temperament. If this was your child, close family member, or friend experiencing the above would you want them to respond with the same contentment? I tried to use fogging while she was insulting me, and while I don't think it impacted her at all, it did help me keep calm during the argument. Instead of panicking that she was upset like I usually would This is fi…
/r/MarriedRedPill29/10/22 05:21 AM
2

I’m not off the rails Would coming off those self-imposed rails be the worst thing? It looks like your doubling down on self-imposed “should” imperatives hoping that will somehow lead to different results. I am fearful of being alone. We’ve always been alone, but then so is everyone else. However, that universality makes us simultaneously both alone and not alone alone in that experience. What is it you want and when it calls to you do you listen to it?
/r/MarriedRedPill29/10/22 04:35 AM
2

Go ahead and bluff see how it plays out. If you are going to play with dynamite you might put a greater emphasis on the gym and working on being attractive, as it can bail you out from a lot.
/r/MarriedRedPill28/10/22 01:28 AM
3

I’ll echo this. It helped me significantly across all spheres of my life with both boundary setting and praise. You can’t negotiate parenting any more than you can leadership or desire; however, you can show through you actions a different way, and who knows people tend emulate stuff from people they respect that works.
/r/MarriedRedPill25/10/22 07:15 PM
2

Stop hamstering about that guy you want to fuck and your wife. Less mental masterbation and More persistent action is what you need, not the excuses or emotion to drive long-term change.
/r/MarriedRedPill25/10/22 06:41 PM
3

I can relate to this a lot. I remind myself that I am not special and caution myself that my circumstances are not either (AWALT or APALT). All that being said, I’m drawn to bratty/good girls and figure there is something I need to move forward and close whatever loop I’m dealing with. I’ll choose to invite my wife until I no longer choose that when and if gets to that point. If my working on my shit helps her with hers all the better. I Implement Strong boundaries for disrespect, but I have som…
/r/MarriedRedPill19/10/22 02:26 AM
2

It was around this time my parents ground salt into the wound of them not being willing to spend any money on undergraduate college for me, since my mom paid cash for a luxury SUV. It’s like you’re my other half. I too have been looking for someone who shared this trauma with me. I shed a tear every time I pass the Lexus dealership.
/r/MarriedRedPill19/10/22 01:44 AM
3

Both kids prefer me to their mom and I was fully present for them all week Good parent validation. Why does it matter what they prefer? What do you prefer? No lifting yet, because I’d allowed gym membership to lapse - No bf% measurement yet - Need more time to have diet/exercise be habitual You are doing nothing to address your most glaring Issue. Start making a long-term plan, recognizing it won’t be fully baked after just one week - STFU Why not? You can change your mind if you don’t like what…
/r/MarriedRedPill18/10/22 07:15 PM
1

Just STFU you are going to think you are doing DARE and instead it will probably just be some convoluted Ego defensive DEER to express how you feel. I’d caution you of taking the mantle of career beta as well. I held it for a while, as an excuse for how much I sucked and lead to me to feel entitled for the little amount of work I had done. Also you know what helps to fix muscle imbalances? Heavy compound lifts in moderate rep ranges. Whatever the weak point it will bring them up over time.
/r/MarriedRedPill18/10/22 05:28 PM
1

She was probably more receptive too because she was ovulating. The first time was the first time in a month due to her shoulder injury. because she is a total germaphobe, Outside of you hamstering about all these things why does it matter. That means blowjobs (or eating pussy) are off the table. Until they are not I also have to help her wipe off my cum off her body Then don’t do it. And as I was jacking off on her tits, she used a towel to cover her face - a total turnoff. But you did it anyway…
/r/MarriedRedPill18/10/22 03:25 PM
1

And finally, a question: I want to get new furniture for the bedroom. Simple enough. My wife and I 100% never agree on the furniture, from a taste perspective. If I cared about this particular thing (honestly, as long as its sturdy, functional, and decent looking - I dont care) - I'd just try to find the right opportunity to drop something like "If you play your cards right, I might let you pick out the new dresser" and just proceed; but I suspect that would end with a shit test I may or may not…
/r/MarriedRedPill16/10/22 03:54 AM
1

Final failure: small shit test about using the wrong size pan for cooking. I say "yeah it's too small shall we change it" her: "no it's fine" later her: "SOMEONE used too small a pan" in front of everyone. I make a joke about nagging. Agree with muzzy_woe while I don’t know and wasn’t there this sounds more like shitty disrespect than a shit test. If that’s the case boundary enforcement is important. if you A&A or be playful all you all doing is encouraging more of this behavior. There are sever…
/r/MarriedRedPill15/10/22 05:27 PM
1

What does “enthusiasm” mean to you?
/r/MarriedRedPill05/10/22 04:55 AM
1

Sure maybe coming off an SSRI might help; however, it might also be nothing changes. They can augment Wellbutrin for sexual dysfunction but that benefit can also wean off over time as well (let that rest with your hamster). Btw the thing that makes Wellbutrin effective is a constant surge of dopamine (reward pathway). Outside of your own personal validation if you women is giving you everything you want, does it matter that she might not want it for the same reasons as you? And if she isn’t givi…
/r/MarriedRedPill04/10/22 09:26 PM
2

It looks like to me you stoked the flames of overt dread and got burned. You took the warp pipe to world 8 without doing any of the subsequent work needed to prepare you for the experience and got overwhelmed by the feminine maelstrom you created. Pick yourself up and do the stuff (STFU, lift, read) you need build your frame and work on validating yourself. I imagine negotiating submission is much like negotiating desire. Do you need it in words or it is something that can be seen through action…
/r/MarriedRedPill04/10/22 07:34 PM
3

Dude most of this OYS fits in the “what went poorly” category. What’s worse is you have no measurable plan to address “what went poorly” but you just DEER. If that shit were important to you it would happen or you would find a way to make it happen. Failed to lift a minimum 5 times per week as planned, work and kids activities got in the way, but it is not an excuse Haha what, your excuse is not an excuse…
/r/MarriedRedPill04/10/22 06:50 PM
2

This reads like victim narrative to me. You only feel put upon because you allowed yourself to be, in those relationships. There is a lack of ownership on your part in blaming your girlfriend and family for your issues. Your girlfriend can only be an energy vampire if you allow her to be. Along the lines of these dynamics, have you asked yourself what you personally got from playing the role of white knight to everyone around you.
/r/MarriedRedPill27/09/22 08:28 PM
1

I’d say there are more than two binary outcomes though besides pick you or not pick you. If you go this route you may also get someone picking you by not picking not you, as I think Blarg once put it. At which case both outcomes may look similar, but you will more likely have to find peace with the fact that you will never know for sure if you just enlisted a conscript.
/r/MarriedRedPill27/09/22 07:34 PM
2

"Having a satisfying sex life is important to me, and I intend to have one. I'd like it to be with you, Sounds like everything you are wanting to say seems summed up pretty well to me here. Again from there your actions over time will yield results to help you make those decisions.
/r/MarriedRedPill27/09/22 07:15 PM
1

"Having a satisfying sex life is important to me, and I intend to have one. I'd like it to be with you, I like this. The first part just sounds like you are owning what you want/need in the relationship and putting it on a line. From there actions over time can give you your answers but if that's not in the cards, then I'll have to figure out another solution." However, this just part just sounds like a clumsy way to produce overt dread and negotiate desire to me “you better or else.”
/r/MarriedRedPill27/09/22 05:47 PM
2

It looks like you are cutting. I’ve found I’m more maintaining strength or adding it through reps around the 8-20 rep range, or through additional sets. If you can at least maintain your strength or best case even have it go up slightly during a cut you actually gained strength relative to being at a lower weight.
/r/MarriedRedPill21/09/22 06:08 PM
1

So you did all the supplement stuff, but neglected the actual work… what was the expected outcome?
/r/MarriedRedPill21/09/22 03:27 AM
3

Apologies if this is veering off the typical path of typical MRP content a little. MRP OYS has been one of the things that helps keep me sane and grounded in reality these past few weeks. When I OYS I feel guilty
/r/MarriedRedPill20/09/22 07:58 PM
2

Calorie deficit, 1 gram protein/pound, while maintaining lifting volume.
/r/MarriedRedPill20/09/22 01:36 PM
2

I hit a plateau on my OHP and bench press a while back. Someone gave the advice to continue my effort, but just incorporate more volume. Turns out that worked pretty well and both lifts went up quite a bit for me. Also with my OHP if I can get tight in my glutes, core, and lats, it helps to create stability to press against that has been helpful as well.
/r/MarriedRedPill15/09/22 12:48 AM
4

Why is it your job to keep “everything functioning smoothly?” What are you personally getting from donning the mantle of “father-figure?” What is the power you are talking about? If you acknowledge that you have no agency over others actions, isn’t it also true that they only have as much agency over you as you allow them to? Co-dependency only works if everyone is complicit within that system, in which it operates. Does the world happen to you or do you happen to the world?
/r/MarriedRedPill07/09/22 02:02 AM
3

So what does “evidence of desire” “being wanted” concretely mean through actions for you, and what have you done to lead things toward this? Also what if “finding me so hot they must fuck” only appears to you that way and is actually motivated by some factor in the other person does that matter?
/r/MarriedRedPill06/09/22 08:20 PM
3

If you can find a path to follow where this is the case and you can avoid being fat, then the passionate enthusiastic sex happens pretty much as often as you make it. I feel like this has the trappings of setting someone up for a huge covert contract/dancing monkey. He just needs to own concretely what it is he wants, go after it, and let the chips fall where they may.
/r/MarriedRedPill06/09/22 07:18 PM
6

What the fuck is this? BMI matters fuck all. According to my BMI I would be overweight. What is important is muscle mass and and percentage of body fat or body composition. If you lose weight without lifting your likely losing parts fat and muscle. You are failing at the easy stuff.
/r/MarriedRedPill06/09/22 06:02 PM
1

I've read pretty much everything j10 wrote on here. The Hamster Maze post was a big reason I decided to be more overt, albeit I don't think it actually matters. I'm not trying to change anyone's behavior. Bullshit, you are too trying to change her behavior. Who gives a fuck if you are getting what you want besides your ego? It’s one thing to put yourself out there and own what you want and have that rejected, as it might provide some clarity for the whole stay plan vs the go plan thing; however,…
/r/MarriedRedPill30/08/22 07:10 PM
5

My wife kept coming back to "nothing seems to work" and "nothing is ever enough," which I find confusing. What, exactly, has she ever done? I'm the one who has done all the work on our relationship - there isn't a book I haven't read, coach I haven't hired, whatever. This line of reasoning used to make me mad - now it just leaves me confused. What is there to be confused about. She shook your frame and nuts and bolts start flying all over the place. It is manipulation (not inherently malicious) …
/r/MarriedRedPill30/08/22 06:23 PM
3

I've spent years in therapy, journaling, working on myself, trying to remove any kind of desire for validation, neediness, oneitis, etc...trying to kill my weaknesses so a clear picture of my true desires would be left over. Honestly, I was hoping that doing those things would eliminate or modulate my sexual desire, and make all this less of a pain in my fucking ass. I hate rocking the boat with my fucking dick all the time. You spent years gaslighting yourself about what you want because you fe…
/r/MarriedRedPill25/08/22 01:47 PM
1

How did the bulk go/going?
/r/MarriedRedPill23/08/22 06:08 PM
3

Have some the insights that Ragnar had in his OYS. Ask for want you want and see if you get it. Someone else already said it, but bullshit on anyone ever giving 100%. How often do you workout and take every set failure over and over. However, given moderate effort over time suddenly your old 1 rep max you can now hit for reps with relative ease. Sharing my own notes, when I started telling my wife explicitly what I wanted and she would do it, her turning me on, would turn her on, which would tur…
/r/MarriedRedPill23/08/22 05:51 PM
1

which probably means I'm not hawt enough yet According to who and by what measure?
/r/MarriedRedPill17/08/22 07:21 PM
1

6’2, 222lbs, 12.1% BF, BMI 28.6 Lifts: Bench Press - 165lbs (4x4), Squats - 225lbs (4x3), DL - 165lbs (4x3) Unless this is a Deload there is no way you are 12.1% BF
/r/MarriedRedPill16/08/22 11:25 PM
2

My MAP is centred around ownership So you have owned the problems, but what have you done with your actions about them. And, honestly have you really owned them? That body fat percentage is not skinny fat, that is fat fat borderline obese. So what actionable steps have you completed to help tackle that problem and what were the results?
/r/MarriedRedPill16/08/22 07:42 PM
3

Comfort test Not sure how I could have handled a comfort test better. At the store, I rubbernecked hard mid-sentence to check out a woman during a relatively deep and vulnerable conversation. It was painfully obvious. I joked, hugged and told her she has my full attention now. Then I stopped and stared at a dessert and said "See, I get distracted by other tasty treats, too." Then in the parking lot I kept staring at her tits while we walked home and told her I also check her out. This was a comf…
/r/MarriedRedPill16/08/22 07:17 PM
2

I had a positive experience with wendlars BBB but have modified it over time. Skipping Deloads except about every 3 months or so when needed and moving into the 3 month challenge quickly had positive results for me. What I had found helpful is first and foremost to push intensity (take sets close to failure) and then pushing as much of that work as I can do and recover from between workouts. That has been a recipe for growth which has made me stronger, which in turn I can leverage to stress my b…
/r/MarriedRedPill11/08/22 08:29 PM
1

What are you goals with lifting? Strength and hypertrophy go hand and hand. The strongest dudes are also big.
/r/MarriedRedPill11/08/22 08:02 PM
1

here ya go
/r/MarriedRedPill11/08/22 03:41 AM
1

Still, if I'm not fixing something, I'm not feeling useful to myself. This all reads very apathetic to me. Perhaps direct that energy towards fixing yourself and feeling useful for you.
/r/MarriedRedPill10/08/22 05:03 PM
1

Something different of course. In this case, I'm literally following a blueprint suggested by someone I respect. How about you follow the blueprint of someone else you respect
/r/MarriedRedPill03/08/22 07:28 PM
1

But that's just the anger phase, writ large, morphing into bitterness. In reality, MRP boils down to two things: ⁠Be honest about your desires and move towards them without guilt. ⁠If you wanna fuck more, try to look HAWT That's what it means to you It sounds like the same old plowhorse bullshit...except that now, you're plowing the field some dudes on the internet told you to plow. If not, why are you spending your time this way? You are a man. You should be feeling called to adventure. Exhilar…
/r/MarriedRedPill02/08/22 07:45 PM
1

A lot of rule 9 here, but it looks like you still are having issues setting boundaries and just STFU. These only lead into arguments because you engage the in the emotional roller coaster. A good first step is not engaging by just practicing STFU. WISNIFG will give you tools to be more assertive 1•2•3 magic the kids book will really simplify boundary setting and there are also great posts scattered on here from WMP, MITW, and others on here that help provide examples as well.
/r/MarriedRedPill26/07/22 05:59 PM
2

In other words, STFU and stop trying to explain the why's and how's of my thoughts. Just live my life. Not needing self hugs sounds like a great ideal state, just be secure. Thanks for that outlook, didn't even consider that was an option. How to you suppose you get to this end state? You're right he's not dead. Maybe locked up in the basement is a better euphemism. Throw him in there with the other parts of yourself you sectioned off for crimes committed outside of your control. It just might m…
/r/MarriedRedPill22/07/22 04:17 AM
3

I went hiking a mountain with my woman and her friends on Sunday. It's a scenario where the power dynamic is a bit off. It's her hobby, and she likes to lead it. There isn't any disrespect, but it's not in my frame and I find myself pondering whether it's a battle worth fighting for. Maybe I need to up my mayor game. Or, maybe I need to opt out and say "Nah, I don't care for the way you swing your dick around at those things..". Here is my take for what it is worth, you are not objectively going…
/r/MarriedRedPill14/07/22 06:14 PM
1

FWIW this doesn’t sound too far off from what I’ve come to use in Dynamic double progression. I’ll then use drop sets (using the same lift or a variation of it) and assistance work that targets some of the same muscles to try and disrupt them to grow. I have had positive results with it thus far.
/r/MarriedRedPill11/07/22 12:05 AM
1

I really don't see the point of practicing frame other than on my wife. Frame is who you are not just something you practice on your wife Sure, I could respond with outcome independence to a lot of situations, but I simply don't want to. I understand it's tried here as a test, as seeing the inner workings of a man's relationship typically isn't feasible, but I'm not fucking your pussy, so I don't get the point of not talking shit back, especially when I have no reason to refrain from doing so. Y…
/r/MarriedRedPill07/07/22 03:38 PM
3

The problem is you have it wrong. Total amount of weight/fat is far more deleterious for your physical health/sexual attraction than trying to find the perfect jigsaw of micronutrient rich foods. At 27% body fat you can aggressively lose weight weight and if you add some protein and good workouts likely maintain or gain muscle. don’t be orthorexic, be less fat or don’t eat for a while
/r/MarriedRedPill01/07/22 07:50 PM
10

Mental- STFU is going well and I’m really digging deep into my desire to want to DEER, respond, correct, react, argue or want to win the argument. Whenever there is any perceived shitty attitude or negative comment I am owning STFU and then I find something else to do. Where did he go?
/r/MarriedRedPill29/06/22 06:32 PM
1

I want to be comfortable being myself around other attractive and masculine men. A very common theme in my adult life has been relying on being the most attractive/masculine man in the room. If I feel like somebody threatens that, I turn into my shell and become quite anxious and tend to start seeking approval, unless/until I determine that they are not a physical or mental threat. I am embarrassed to admit that, but this is really something I would like to deal with and stems from previous trau…
/r/MarriedRedPill21/06/22 06:03 PM
2

I almost got sucked into her frame Bruh, you never left I lot of guys get shit for victim puking over and over, but I get the feeling of whatever actually motivates (not your wife’s infidelity) your issues is avoided (MRP, TRT, hallucinogenics) and not looked at. So you throw these tools A&A this week and fogging next week as cool tricks without any perception of how they align your image for yourself because you are disconnected from you. Vulnerability lead with strength. The strength to stand …
/r/MarriedRedPill17/06/22 08:18 PM
6

But as ashamed as I am of losing my way I need the support of other men in similar situations to get back on track. Start with the basics of taking care of you own issues. Losing fat, lifting weights, not hitting the dopamine drip feed through drugs or porn, and setting boundaries for yourself.
/r/MarriedRedPill14/06/22 12:40 PM
1

Chasing and Avoidance. I still feel like my "game" is a performance at times. I almost have to get in the right head space and tell myself, "Ok, now it is time to practice some game, so turn it on." That does help me act more confident which is good, but it also sets up the dichotomy between gaming and truly being myself, so I still need to work on that more. This is good and natural, in my opinion. It sounds like you are concerned about inauthenticity, but until you explore with your actions it…
/r/MarriedRedPill14/06/22 01:58 AM
1

What a ride whooo. Got my estrogen and progesterone levels back, they're fine. 3 more weeks and I'll get a full blood panel and will see what my doc thinks about my test levels. I'm not going to blame my struggles on trt anymore, I'm going to get my fucking head back in the game regardless of what my test levels are at. I was using it as an excuse, oh I feel off whaaaaa. My new mindset regarding trt, it will add to my life but it won't solve anything I don't solve for myself regardless. It is be…
/r/MarriedRedPill13/06/22 09:45 PM
2

still about 15-16% body fat, like everyone else here Making excuses is weak. What is you want to do about the 15% body fat and what is your plan to help you meet that goal?
/r/MarriedRedPill06/06/22 08:34 PM
1

I like the Seneca quote: Luck is what happens when preparation meets opportunity
/r/MarriedRedPill01/06/22 04:17 PM
1

I’ve struggled the past few weeks grinding through hunger pangs. Further, I found myself feeling overly sluggish every afternoon when I got home, which only made it more tempting to snack. I decided to give intermittent fasting another try considering it’s the eating schedule that gave me the most success months ago. I’m eating a large meal for lunch, a medium meal for an afternoon snack after work, and then a large meal for dinner. Calories are around 2000/day, giving me a deficit of around 450…
/r/MarriedRedPill12/05/22 02:21 AM
2

No moralizing from me. If you elect to use “bitches” as some standard nomenclature for communicating RP lingo. However, if you are using it out of fear and to create distance might be something to explore. Perhaps, Fear that you would slip back into some blue bill behaviors that brought you here, or fear that in being vulnerable/authentic you might sacrifice the boundaries that took you long to establish for yourself. I plowed through a lot of women the first months post divorce, which was fun. …
/r/MarriedRedPill11/05/22 05:45 PM
1

Missed last week because life has been a shit show. Ex is now dating again. I briefly lost my shit over this, weak. I have no logical reason to even be mad about it given that I’ve slept with like…a lot of women since we split, but it none the less got to me, clearly demonstrating I’m not yet where I should be. Where is it you “should” be? Is there a pattern of trying to repress emotionally responses? If so, how has that historically worked out for you?
/r/MarriedRedPill01/05/22 02:15 AM
1

Relationship: I had to give a small FMOFY speech this week. I had gone out the night before instead of staying in with her, and the next day, she wanted to talk about my communication and level of commitment. I gave this mental model to all questions about why I'm not doing this or that or what my feelings are. "I'm making offers to you. You can accept or decline those offers. If you accept, the relationship will grow and flourish. If you don't, I'm not going to wait around and ask why." I said …
/r/MarriedRedPill01/05/22 01:27 AM
1

Be fun and have fun. For who? If your trying to be fun or behave in such a way that produces some specific result from others that is a covert contract, right? Only you know if your actions are congruent with yourself, but if they are not then your just doing a dancing monkey bit. Also you’ve identified some problems what are your goals and plan of action to tackle those?
/r/MarriedRedPill16/04/22 03:26 AM
1

Is it possible that some of the me vs. her mentality has to do with fear of accepting others gifts because you are still keeping score?
/r/MarriedRedPill14/04/22 04:27 AM
1

You have been at 19-20% body fat your entire MRP posting history. What are concrete goals you are setting for yourself to fix it? For instance, if diet fatigue is an issue you could spend 2 weeks at maintenance then commence a set plan to lose x amount of weight over y time frame. What are your goals for daily calories? As far as lifting I rank these 3 elements by importance. 1-intensity- taking lifts close to set failure 2-volume- the amount of the hard work your doing 3-fatigue management Your…
/r/MarriedRedPill14/04/22 04:03 AM
1

Carbs are fine, particularly when you leverage them before and after intense workouts to fuel the workout and then to fuel recover and anabolic pathways. Fat as a macro is is more adipogenic; however, you need some of all the macros to maintain health. The bottom line is for bulking you will gain some fat along with muscle if doing so naturally. Normally considered healthy foods lean meats, healthy fats, fruits, and vegetables will have more micronutrients that you won’t get in processed foods.
/r/MarriedRedPill07/04/22 08:40 PM
1

Some of the importance is lost in this wall of text. What is important to you? Not what you think you need to satisfy your wife? Not what You think MRP says you need to do? What is it you want to do? You don’t need a decisional matrix flowsheet to know what you want. Perhaps there is a covert contract in regards to how you view the main event and all the things you do in hopes they invert the power exchange? What happens if you just keep doing more of what you want foot by foot instead of hoping…
/r/MarriedRedPill04/04/22 05:42 PM
1

A lot of good insights in here, along with actions and measurable plans. I would aim for about 1 gram protein per lb of body weight. Greek yogurt, protein bars, and shakes can help supplement your diet to hit protein goals. Outside of trying to double down on willpower to reach your goal of not using pornography and masterbating, what is your plan there? The important piece is you have Identified what it does for you. How can you comfort yourself without pornography?
/r/MarriedRedPill04/04/22 05:22 PM
1

You are a career beta who doesn’t work? You’re not in a relationship or working and can’t find time to lift. This whole thing is validation seeking, as you have literally done nothing.
/r/MarriedRedPill04/04/22 01:21 PM
1

Can’t you just call it doing what you want. People will assign whatever value they want to it. Even if you “gift” yourself to someone else doesn’t mean they will care. At a certain point if the fit in any relationship isn’t there you can do with that what you will.
/r/MarriedRedPill23/03/22 03:10 PM
1

Glycogen stores will go down as inevitable carbs are where calories tend to get cut. However, I’ve found that food quality and macro distribution have become more important for me while cutting then when bulking where I’ve had greater flexibility. A macro distribution that has worked well for has been something like: 1 gram protein/lb 0.4 gram fat/lb Rest of available calories into carbs, in particular around workout times. When my fats were too high and it limited my carb intake it could really…
/r/MarriedRedPill17/03/22 06:13 PM
3

What are your injuries that are keeping you from lifting? Elbow pain and posture issues? Strength training with compounds helped to strengthen my back and help my posture (deadlifts, rows, & pull/chin ups). Also your calories seem too high if you are cutting. A trick is to take your body weight in lbs and multiple it by 10 (1760 calories) and try then adjust upward if losing weight too quickly based on activity. However, if you lose weight without strength training you are likely to lose muscle …
/r/MarriedRedPill08/03/22 01:47 PM
2

Hey I’ve been really fat with binge-eating tendencies. There was a period where I would eat dinner and then heat an entire frozen pizza and eat that shit as well. Some feedback I have for you is you are not going to willpower (emotion) your way through this process. That emotion and willpower will only carry you so far. You will have a lapse and risk going full-tilt into binge-eating behaviors. You need persistence/discipline. That comes with an actionable plan and what better way to start being…
/r/MarriedRedPill25/02/22 03:55 PM
2

“Called her on the lie but got excuses and no apology.” why do you need an apology? Perhaps, Ego? And yeah your whole marriage, sex, and validation section comes across as butthurt and that you are trying to punish her. The “too sensitive” comment just sounds like your wife calling you out for it.
/r/MarriedRedPill25/02/22 02:34 PM
6

Kind of like someone writing 3 paragraphs in their OYS about how beta their tax attorney is.
/r/MarriedRedPill18/02/22 07:05 PM
24

Thanks for putting this out there it was helpful for me. I too think I’ve fallen into this trap when in reality I’ve been all the bad captains.
/r/MarriedRedPill17/02/22 10:41 PM
1

FWIW here is my take. You make action x. Your wife responds with input y. This is compelling to change your mind or it is not. If it does you can alter your actions based on said input, if not the rest is just noise. That being said, it sounds like you both are talking past one another, and I’m not sure your actions are not just based on not doing what your wife wants, which would put you in her frame. The idea here being your actions are what you feel are in the best interests of the children. …
/r/askMRP16/02/22 08:54 PM
4

Because your calories are/were likely too high. Cheat sheet cutting trick is to take your weight in lbs and multiple it by 10. 1800 calories is what I would cut on and adjust upwards for activity or losing too much weight too quickly.
/r/MarriedRedPill16/02/22 08:22 PM
1

Because you’re over invested in her. Women peak at 21. You know this from the rational male. You are at your theoretical peak because for men it is based on more than looks. My guess is you over value your women because she is your emotional center. That’s why you put her on a pedestal, right? Perhaps she was gonna make for the damage done to you by another women? How could should she not hate that those are impossible standards for anyone to live up to. Perhaps I am just projecting too heavily …
/r/MarriedRedPill10/02/22 02:09 AM
1

You may rationally know this, but have you internalized it beyond just telling it yourself to try to get suppress those unwanted feelings? For me it has been been helpful to have conversations with the past. If that 7 year old version of yourself was sitting here today what would you tell him? What tools/resources do you have to cope now that he didn’t have then? What is different about today vs. then means things will be different regardless of the outcome of external factors? Have you offered …
/r/MarriedRedPill09/02/22 06:39 PM
2

You’ve LARPed the right mind set, but anytime external factors indicate to you that your less than you believe them and this feeds into those past thoughts of abandonment and possible feelings some part of you is unlovable. Which cascades into progressively unattractive behaviors, as you try and assure yourself that you won’t be abandoned. You are essentially hysterically bonding. Perhaps catching these feelings early as you recognize them and bridging the gap between the past and present might …
/r/MarriedRedPill09/02/22 05:40 PM
1

You have written some good stuff, wondered where you went. Can’t say I understand this, but I too want to find my peace.
/r/MarriedRedPill09/02/22 04:27 AM
2

They can test you, but what you are describing does not sound like you are bipolar. They may get that inclination due to intense mood swings/emotional lability, but that is more likely driven by a personality disorders than bipolar d/o. Is your neediness driven by intense concerns related to abandonment? Do you feel like you have distorted/uncertain image of yourself? Is there history of trauma? These are tied to personality d/o or NG behaviors. Keep working Therapy and to attain some identity f…
/r/MarriedRedPill09/02/22 04:14 AM
1

I too am often confused on who I am.
/r/MarriedRedPill09/02/22 04:03 AM
3

Yes, do ab work. Deadlifts and squats do not contribute that much to core development. You want a strong core support you frame during those exercises. Hanging knee raises can be helpful and are pretty easy for most.
/r/MarriedRedPill13/01/21 08:58 PM
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