~ archived since 2018 ~
~ archived since 2018 ~
| Upvotes | Comment on | Subreddit | Date (UTC) |
|---|---|---|---|
| 1 | I prefer saying “I already knew that,” so he’s 100% sure that I’m the one being condescending. 🦕🦕🦕Oh damn! I've never actually tried adjusting the time intervals like that. Oh god, as if I needed FDS to be even more addicting. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 04/04/22 05:45 PM |
| 1 | I prefer saying “I already knew that,” so he’s 100% sure that I’m the one being condescending. 🦕🦕🦕How did you find such an old post (though yes, I agree)? | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 04/04/22 05:20 PM |
| 97 | What if a HV man broke up with me because I was acting stupid/LV?People on FDS often say that if you feel uncharacteristically anxious/suspicious in a relationship (and you can tell if it's uncharacteristic if you're not like this in other relationships e.g. with friends) then it's your gut picking up on something. Part of someone being HV enough is that they're openly affectionate to the point where you just don't feel anxious. More importantly, though, the other part of being truly HV is being committed enough not to just bounce the moment someone mildly in… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 04/04/22 01:39 PM |
| 45 | Men talking about ex's physical attributesHe then proceeded to talk about his ex (they were two years together) but only in a physical way. He described her to me, how she had super long brown hair (my hair is medium length but curly) and was Russian and how he has a thing for international girls Only insane people explicitly just have a thing for international women. I think the thought process is this: I kept striking out with women from my own ethnicity/location, so there must be something wrong with them, so the best girls are inter… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 04/04/22 01:27 PM |
| 67 | Ladies, beware! If a man is stringing you along in a years-long relationship that’s heading nowhere, he doesn’t really want you.What do I do Die alone? Seems like the most straightforward route to that precious financial freedom. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 03/04/22 02:17 PM |
| 47 | Update on my most recent post. Digging into OP’s comment history only confirmed to me what I already thought; he isn’t a good partner to her & she deserves better. I seriously doubt she doesn’t fake cum with him because she sounds v turned off. He asked some1 what a clitoris is. Is this April fools?I love how he complains about his wife being too vanilla when he doesn't even know what a clitoris is. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 02/04/22 01:52 PM |
| 77 | I have a feeling there’s more to the story than what was said here. I also have a feeling the wife rarely ever gets an orgasm from her porn-sick husband. Why did you marry her if you thought she was too vanilla? Because you had a Madonna/whore complex and now you’re playing the victim in bed?One of the last things I went to think about during sex is my parent. I KNOW I think this hits the nail on the head as to why I find this particular cringy kink thing so cringe. I mean my dad's awesome but...not like that | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 02/04/22 02:49 AM |
| 260 | I have a feeling there’s more to the story than what was said here. I also have a feeling the wife rarely ever gets an orgasm from her porn-sick husband. Why did you marry her if you thought she was too vanilla? Because you had a Madonna/whore complex and now you’re playing the victim in bed?The best orgasms I've had have been partly just due to the angles of certain positions and mostly because I didn't feel like I was just being masturbated into or being watched in like, a weird/creepy/objectifying way. If men want their partners to aggressively moan and be all porny and cum explosively then maybe they should start treating them like actual partners and not human-sized fleshlights. Also, this subject feels oddly fitting given your username. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 01/04/22 09:12 PM |
| 465 | I have a feeling there’s more to the story than what was said here. I also have a feeling the wife rarely ever gets an orgasm from her porn-sick husband. Why did you marry her if you thought she was too vanilla? Because you had a Madonna/whore complex and now you’re playing the victim in bed?Maybe she's uncomfortably laughing because her husband's just shit in bed such that his over the top theatrics are cringe rather than arousing. Also, I feel like if you need all these performative bells and whistles to be dominant then you're not naturally particularly dominant. so why bother at all? | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 01/04/22 08:54 PM |
| 38 | I don’t have lunch with my colleaguesIf I were to tell them that, I’d be rubbing it in their faces and it’s not nice, so I remained silent. I suppose one thing you could've done if you wanted to contribute to the conversation is commiserate with them about how shitty their husbands are and slowly convert them to FDS. Maybe that's a bit optimistic, though. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 01/04/22 08:35 PM |
| 32 | FDA has helped me professionally as wellYou're on my shitlist forever. I'm petty and IDGAF This isn't really even petty, it's just common sense. If someone cared that much about working with your company they would've done it amicably to begin with. It's actually so surprising how FDS principles generalize to basically any interaction with anyone. There was a brief moment in time when I was considering donating eggs (until I found out about the long term cancer risks) and you'd actually see these dynamics pop up in egg donor recipient… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 01/04/22 05:38 PM |
| 145 | This level of betrayal from the person supposed to love, cherish and hold you sacred.If she ever had sex with him for the sake of having a child and not just for fun and he was lying about this then this counts as rape, doesn't it? | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 01/04/22 04:25 PM |
| 387 | How to deal with men who want to be “orbiters”Hmm, you could just do what avoidant scrotes do and just never reply to them online and if they ask about it in person just be like 'ooooh ahaha I'm just a shitty texter' | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 01/04/22 03:33 PM |
| 12 | He resents his wife because his ex texted himI’ve never pursued a relationship and I never will. That’s where my avoidance begins and ends. I think this is the ideal response for an avoidant. It's not only rational (since if you really think about it it doesn't seem like relationships naturally make you happy and nobody's obligated to be in one) and it's morally responsible since you aren't using other people's most vulnerable feelings as a sort of testing ground to see if you're still too avoidant. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 01/04/22 01:54 PM |
| 10 | If only FDS existed a decade ago…Oh god - see the wasting money on looks thing I can totally sympathize with, since there's so much cultural rhetoric out there too that helps women also obfuscate the real reason they're doing it (e.g. 'I'm just expressing myself' 'I'm doing it for myself' etc. etc. even if they're being inauthentic and ultimately doing it for others). The end result though, is that they're materially disadvantaged as a result, as their bank account and health suffers. I read some study that said the average wom… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 01/04/22 01:44 PM |
| 9 | If only FDS existed a decade ago…How did trying to conform to patriarchal standards end up preventing you from buying a house, if you don't mind me asking? That sounds brutal, but at least you found FDS in the end. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 01/04/22 12:09 AM |
| 353 | He resents his wife because his ex texted himI've always wondered this about avoidants. Like, they seem to create their own problems (and problems for others) - if relationships scare you that much, then why not just fuck off and avoid pursuing them and let better people who are brave enough to embrace intimacy procreate instead? | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 31/03/22 07:09 PM |
| 352 | He resents his wife because his ex texted himI like how he thinks that just not cheating on the woman you married is apparently 'codependency'. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 31/03/22 07:08 PM |
| 27 | Giving Level Up advice to friends who then run that advice past their husbands before actingTo be fair, I think every person might be particularly suited to giving advice in one domain and not another. If you and your partner don't work in the same field it makes sense that they might not be able to give as sound advice as someone in the same field - they don't know the ins and outs and whatever information they have about the field is likely filtered through your perspective, so it's not like they could offer you a new take on something. I do think it'd be a little silly to date someo… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 31/03/22 02:35 PM |
| 6 | Half the comments have sense, the other half are… highkey horrifyingYes! Exactly. That or he might subtly coerce her to make herself smaller (literally, physically), since it just increases the amount of power he has over her. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 31/03/22 02:20 AM |
| 8 | Half the comments have sense, the other half are… highkey horrifyingI do think some women do just have trouble putting weight on (one of my friends is like that and her doctor said she can't have kids at this point - it's nuts), but I think in abuse situations like this when a woman's underweight the whole thing just strikes me as so much more suspicious. I also think you're more likely to see this in taller women (e.g. the youtuber) or women who work out/lift a lot (e.g. my friend - but she also just generally doesn't like eating, so it's not just a metabolism … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 31/03/22 12:09 AM |
| 18 | Ohhhhh the seething butthurt nourishes me. The irony is, I teach programming courses at a college for a living.LOL I basically said that east asian women should avoid dating programmers/tech bros because of the whole white male asian female thing. It's actually pretty tame compared to some of the other stuff I've said on here, but unlike a lot of people I usually never get angry dms, so I was extra excited by this. I feel like I caught a fish. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 30/03/22 09:17 PM |
| 14 | Ohhhhh the seething butthurt nourishes me. The irony is, I teach programming courses at a college for a living.scrotal screeching These are the glorious siren songs that give my life meaning. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 30/03/22 08:51 PM |
| 0 | "I am afraid if I let him pay for dinner & dates OR don't go 50/50 with him OR let him pay for me all the time OR fully provide for me - he will have full control over every aspect of my life because I am financially dependent on him."I think if you're child free you have more freedom to contribute financially to a partnership without over extending yourself. Obviously, though, it still doesn't make sense to date a moocher or to contribute more to the relationship than a man does, but I think going 50/50 over the long run (though maybe not at the beginning) isn't incredibly unreasonable, as long as you're not also putting more effort into your appearance, housework, emotional labour for the relationship itself etc. etc. than … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 30/03/22 05:37 PM |
| 216 | Is it generally "better" for WOC to date within or outside of their race?(Reposting this since I think it contained a keyword the automod doesn't like) I've met some asian men who didn't seem to have this possessive or patriarchal attitude (but they grew up in the West), while I've never met a white man who actively pursued asian women who wasn't bottom of the barrel. I think east asian women face a unique predicament when it comes to dating white men, because the sort of white men who pursue them are pornsick misogynist tech bros, almost invariably. I think interrac… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 30/03/22 04:46 PM |
| 17 | Man withholds a 12.5K bonus from his SAHM wife because she didnt share the 200$ she made on Etsy (the first time in 7 years she earned anything). Be careful not to marry miserly men who loathe you.Given that she made her kids and he didn't, she should just divorce him and hide them from him based on his own 'if I made it it's mine and not yours' principle 🤷🏽♀️ | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 30/03/22 04:40 PM |
| 54 | "I am afraid if I let him pay for dinner & dates OR don't go 50/50 with him OR let him pay for me all the time OR fully provide for me - he will have full control over every aspect of my life because I am financially dependent on him."He is the one RESPONSIBLE for providing for the family. Always has been, from the start of humanity - the one going out to hunt and bring back food. That is his main ROLE - he is designed for that. It is not a power, it is not something that "proves" he is superior to women - it is a RESPONSIBILITY. A very heavy responsibility that only a fully mature, fully developed HVM can handle. Not a kid in an adult body. If he doesn't have what it takes to take on that responsibility - DO NOT PURSUE A WOM… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 30/03/22 03:41 PM |
| 1 | My pre-FDS self would have gone with this. My current self unmatched him!LOL I figured (or I figured you automatically just said 'HVM' as opposed to 'men', which I've done a million times before), but thought I'd pipe in just in case. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 30/03/22 02:40 PM |
| 28 | Genuine question: how can a woman maintain the hope that there really are good men out there?I think it helps to try and think of any HV man you know IRL (not necessarily dateable ones, but ones of any age/relationship status etc.). Then, comparing the vast majority of men to them will make it obvious just how clearly LV most men are, but will also give you a pretty reasonable benchmark for what qualifies as HV and what it could look like in the wild. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 30/03/22 02:38 PM |
| 119 | Half the comments have sense, the other half are… highkey horrifyingI'm glad she had the intuition to remain angry even when he apologized, since ultimately like most men he discounted her tears alone as evidence that she was upset/in pain. Her bf is basically the kind of guy who's like 'it's okay to beat a woman to death if she slaps you #equality'. Also, the fact that OOP was clinically underweight seems like a relevant background detail. Was she always underweight? Why is she now? Why does he have no problem with it (or with attacking her especially in light … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 30/03/22 02:22 PM |
| 15 | Is there even a bar anymore?Unfortunately not. OP was a woman with an OF account, so it's not that surprising, but it's still pretty sad. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 29/03/22 11:20 PM |
| 45 | Let's Talk About "Cool Girls"/"Strong Women"This is why some men moan about women who expect men to remember anniversaries and put effort in and chase. They're jUsT tOO sEnSiTIvE! I think they often use the 'strong woman' rhetoric to distract women into constantly focusing on themselves and how they can be 'strong' instead of paying attention to what their partner is actually like. If you think about it, most women, traditionally feminine or not, would find a man who puts effort in and is considerate to be attractive. Men who don't do thi… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 29/03/22 06:58 PM |
| 110 | Is there even a bar anymore?I'd also be interested in this. The funny thing is, though, that women do this all the time in an effort to make themselves seem smaller or more humble, yet they don't get away with half the shit men like the one in my pic do. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 29/03/22 06:52 PM |
| 133 | I have no words...Damn! I'm so surprised someone this conventionally attractive and apparently almost-successful still feels such a desperate urge to chase. I wonder how that happened. I actually feel really bad for her, because I think her attitude in relationships can be really nice, but only if it's reciprocated at the same intensity. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 29/03/22 06:38 PM |
| 5 | reminder: power, not empowerment; equity, not equalityMakeup is seen as "empowering". Without makeup we're just dumb, barefaced females, maybe? Simone de Beauvoir talks about how women are infantilized but part of what makes it so difficult for them to step into their own is that they're afraid to embrace freedom and be taken seriously as whole adults. Part of her argument sounds a little pick-me, since it sort of 'blames' women for not resisting oppression enough (and her own history with male philosophers was also a bit pick me) but I think her p… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 29/03/22 04:26 PM |
| 24 | My pre-FDS self would have gone with this. My current self unmatched him!Yeah I feel like when HVM sense when we are angsty to make a plan, make a date, they realize they have the upperhand and they're going to act like jerks with it. Nah - anyone who responds this way isn't HV. HV people (men or women) don't think in terms of who has the upper hand (unless it comes to recognizing that they're under-appreciated). Relationships shouldn't be a competition of desirability between you and your partner and men who make it that way are decidedly LV. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 29/03/22 04:09 PM |
| 10 | Do you believe in the idea of soulmate or soulmates?I mean, I do think compatible people exist, and if two people can be compatible and one person can be more compatible for a person than someone else, then it stands to reason that there's probably a 'most compatible' person out there, who you probably won't meet. Constantly getting GIGS until you find your soulmate feels a bit like refusing to buy a house until you find the perfect house out of all houses on earth - it seems silly. I think you can also tell pretty quickly if someone's genuinely … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 29/03/22 03:58 PM |
| 74 | Where do men go to find the audacity? What kind of good man is this? Is this the standard? Because if so, then sorry to this man. 33 and childish with his priorities out of order. What an embarrassment. Feel sorry for that baby.LMAO. God I feel so bad for his ex. It's insane to me that people like this are allowed to have children. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 29/03/22 03:45 PM |
| 125 | Where do men go to find the audacity? What kind of good man is this? Is this the standard? Because if so, then sorry to this man. 33 and childish with his priorities out of order. What an embarrassment. Feel sorry for that baby.The 'I'm a happy person that's actually ready to date' thing was so amusingly ironic in light of the preceding sentences. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 29/03/22 03:38 PM |
| 2 | Will Smith’s Slap, Protecting Black Women and My Own Experience Being Unprotected by Black MenA consensus that evidences internalized racism and sexism is...just that. It's pretty reductive to think that just because someone's black we can cherry-pick their opinions as if they were authoritative fact on the matter. There are plenty of black women (on youtube, on tiktok, and on FDS itself) who advocate in favour of defending Jada (even if they reasonably also take issue with the violence) - it's these voices we should support, as they're the only ones who take black womens' interests seri… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 29/03/22 03:03 PM |
| 13 | Will Smith’s Slap, Protecting Black Women and My Own Experience Being Unprotected by Black MenAnd Jada's entirely black? Surely you recognize that people of some ethnicities have privileges over others and can themselves internalize and perpetuate racism, right? This is no different than being a pick-me who defends LV scrote behaviour when it's called out by HVW. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 29/03/22 02:15 PM |
| 12 | Will Smith’s Slap, Protecting Black Women and My Own Experience Being Unprotected by Black Men<3 Honestly it shocks me sometimes how racist the white women on even FDS can be. Makes me wish there was an FDS for WoC only. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 29/03/22 02:11 PM |
| 11 | Will Smith’s Slap, Protecting Black Women and My Own Experience Being Unprotected by Black MenWhat even does this mean? You're being racist and I'm articulating why. Please don't be one of those white women. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 29/03/22 02:06 PM |
| 14 | Will Smith’s Slap, Protecting Black Women and My Own Experience Being Unprotected by Black MenThe Eurocentric standards of having long, straight hair. He wasn't applauding her for being bald, he was making fun of her. Don't be deliberately obtuse and colourblind. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 29/03/22 02:04 PM |
| 29 | Will Smith’s Slap, Protecting Black Women and My Own Experience Being Unprotected by Black MenHe said he didn’t know that she had alopecia. Which I don’t find so unbelievable This part doesn't matter. Black women's hair tend to deviate from eurocentric beauty norms, so roasting them on the basis of their hair is no different than making fun of them for not looking white enough. It's patently racist, regardless of whether he knew about her condition. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 29/03/22 01:56 PM |
| 19 | Will Smith’s Slap, Protecting Black Women and My Own Experience Being Unprotected by Black MenThis is what happens at award shows. Have you seen Ricky Gervais at the golden globes? The comedian hosts roast the other elitist celebrity attendees. This is standard. Not all elitist celebrity attendees are black women nor are they roasted for issues that commonly affect black women. I'll turn a blind eye to this once people like Chris Rock start making fun of Emma Watson's appearance - until then, it's clearly a low blow targeted at one of the most vulnerable populations. Just because Jada's … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 29/03/22 01:54 PM |
| 15 | My boyfriend shared a funny video that i didn't find funnyI'd assume he was trying to communicate something to me if he sent me this (like a 'you should probably dump me because I'm hoping to upgrade' kind of thing). Also, this didn't actually offend me that much but it also just struck me as extremely mediocre/unfunny. Like, it's not exactly clever observational humor that makes you go 'omg that's so true I never saw that before' - it's just a guy repeating a cultural phenomenon everyone's aware of. Those grounds alone would give me ick towards whoeve… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 29/03/22 01:44 PM |
| 3 | Ughhhh this excuse making ridiculousness. Sometimes it *is* that simple.That was so oddly specific and yet apt. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 29/03/22 03:53 AM |
| 2 | Ughhhh this excuse making ridiculousness. Sometimes it *is* that simple.Why do stupid people always get so jumbled up when they think they understand what a fallacy is? Like you could also just bleat 'Occam's razor' over and over again if you wanted to justify 'if he wanted to he would' - both 'arguments' are equally stale. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 29/03/22 03:51 AM |
| 6 | Is chasing unnatural beauty standards making women more vulnerable to unhealthy emotional states? Have you experienced this? Please discussWhat? It says on a reddit post if someone edited (it says you edited at 53 min ago? where does it say that on my posts??) | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 28/03/22 05:16 PM |
| 20 | Is chasing unnatural beauty standards making women more vulnerable to unhealthy emotional states? Have you experienced this? Please discussIt was a joke. It’s just weird that I have this stuff in common with an FDSer and no person IRL | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 28/03/22 03:55 PM |
| 22 | Is chasing unnatural beauty standards making women more vulnerable to unhealthy emotional states? Have you experienced this? Please discusswtf I also hit menarche at 9 (it’s an ethnic thing in my case), was gifted, and am a vegetarian. Clearly this is an FDS thing. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 28/03/22 03:42 PM |
| 404 | Beware of the man with a female friend/female friendsI love how her husband thought she was making too big of a deal of her heritage when his weird groupie friend was the one who thought she was a straight up witch because of it LMAO | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 28/03/22 03:33 PM |
| 14 | Beauty pageants - for the male gaze? For the women gaze?A quick way to tell if something is for the male gaze is to ask whether it's something done by men too - if not, then it's decidedly for the male gaze. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 27/03/22 01:11 PM |
| 7 | Ever read Queen Bees & Wannabes? How have you experienced catty, LV pettiness from pickmes in your life?I remember in middle school, I wanted to join my "best" friend's group but they were a bunch of white girls who didn't want that "token WOC" in their group I'm south asian and my best friends are south asian too. This didn't happen to me (since I was a grade above them) but in elementary school they would hang out with a couple of white girls and one of them basically explicitly told them she wasn't inviting them to her birthday party because they were brown LMAO. Now she's a SAHM in New Zealand… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 26/03/22 02:02 PM |
| 13 | Let’s compare the meanest thing a woman has *ever* said to one of the tamer things a man has said to me. (Trigger warning)IDK why I found your post so funny. Like this is dark and sad, obviously, but something about the seething smooth brained rage of men especially in comparison to the relatively tame insults by women just makes them seem hilarious | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 26/03/22 01:41 PM |
| 47 | Don’t let men (or women) shame you for leveraging your looks.I love not feeling like I’ve got to please anyone anymore This is my absolute favourite part of giving up on self-objectification. Seriously, I don't think people realize the deep, stable, unending confidence you feel when you're no longer reliant on how you look to make you feel good about yourself. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 26/03/22 01:08 PM |
| 30 | Don’t let men (or women) shame you for leveraging your looks.People can accept me as I am, bare-faced, dressed super basic, or they can leave. I think this is the ideal approach, regardless of whether you're naturally attractive. I've never met someone who was strongly influenced by someone's appearance who wasn't, themselves, kind of stupid/unaccomplished, and there is some evidence to back this (propensity to falling for the halo effect is inversely proportional to people's IQ - but naturally, like most studies, they only tested this on male observers).… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 26/03/22 01:03 PM |
| 46 | Don’t let men (or women) shame you for leveraging your looks.I mean, I do think an important qualifier is that if some radfem (or just a regular feminist) starts taking a critical eye to the idea of self objectifying for the sake of getting ahead, that's not exactly the same thing as shaming someone for using their looks; it's more just critical inquiry into a practice that ultimately stems from patriarchal industries that have used our culture's tendency to objectify women to get them to be complicit in it as well. I'm sure looks do help people get ahead… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 26/03/22 12:57 PM |
| 6 | Exactly why do women hate on each other? (Especially for seemingly no reason?)Oh man - go ballistic how? I find for whatever reason I can never exude a similar kind of "approach me" bravado around them - it's more that some friendly woc invariably approaches me and I immediately dive into her friend group and never look back. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 26/03/22 12:25 PM |
| 15 | Exactly why do women hate on each other? (Especially for seemingly no reason?)I commented on this in a different post in this thread, but basically I find the sort of white women who use vocal fry are often subtly exclusionary to woc. IDK if the people you're talking about are white, but it's just reminiscent of a dynamic I've seen a lot. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 26/03/22 12:49 AM |
| 13 | Exactly why do women hate on each other? (Especially for seemingly no reason?)I want to know incase it happens to me. Oh it's not actually a terrible thing that really happens to people, it's more just a certain vocal intonation a lot of women use. It sounds like this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s\_LmC-ynqGM&t=7s | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 25/03/22 08:01 PM |
| 10 | men's silence after setting boundaries is a vetting strategy and a very big tellI prefer to take my own time texting/chatting on apps and feel way too much pressure to engage with someone back and forth continuously if I don’t know them Some part of me wonders if some people are just more prompt texters than other people. I'm sort of like /u/Junior-Lion7893, in that I also really value prompt replies and typically do them myself too (at least early on in a relationship). I can sort of see the value in nexting a guy who doesn't, since ultimately it'd just be better to find s… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 25/03/22 06:19 PM |
| 4 | Someone has reported me to a Reddit for posting about internalized misogynistic on FDSI noticed another comment in here that said there was something wrong with this if a white woman said it, but I think (and I'm a woc for what it's worth) that regardless of who says this it's a totally legitimate thing to say, because it's true. Obviously some woc don't experience this (e.g. Zendaya types or ones with eurocentric features), but it does speak to my experience and that of every other woc I know IRL. If a white woman said this, I'd just be relieved that for once they aren't sweepin… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 25/03/22 02:05 PM |
| 36 | Exactly why do women hate on each other? (Especially for seemingly no reason?)As a WoC, I generally experience younger white women being cliquey at work/ school/ social settings. Yes this is what I've noticed to a T. I've seen far more race-based exclusionary attitudes from women than regular misogyny-driven competition. I'm in a minorities group thing in my department and it's populated entirely of white women (aside from me). My only friends in the department are other woc. The fact that OP mentioned vocal fry (and I've only ever seen white women use vocal fry) made me … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 25/03/22 01:27 PM |
| 43 | Exactly why do women hate on each other? (Especially for seemingly no reason?)She uses vocal fry Every woman who uses vocal fry does this to me. Are you a woc? | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 25/03/22 01:24 PM |
| 86 | Solid breakdown of the Madonna Whore Complex. HVM don’t separate women into categories for sexual use or for true love. They respect us as individuals & they are able to connect their sexual desire 2 the woman they choose 2 commit to and cherish. LVM label us and hate both women in different ways.Somewhere in the middle of this video she suggests that a boyfriend who can't degrade you during sex (even if you like it) because he feels weird doing it to you has a madonna-whore complex, but I entirely disagree. I'm pretty sure that's just a symptom of not being pornsick and respecting your gf. Degrading sex =/= sex. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 25/03/22 01:12 AM |
| 13 | Word soup for “don’t be a pick me”OH yeah. I initially interpreted your post that way, but then saw a comment that seemed critical of the article (which then made me go wait how is this article not basically FDS??). | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 24/03/22 11:43 PM |
| 91 | Stop dumpster diving through other women’s garbageThis doesn't really have to do with divorced people in particular, but I'm not so sure whether a man being dumped serves as an informative red flag. I've seen tons of guys dump all of their girlfriends, not because they're HV, but because they're avoidant or have commitment issues (perhaps this is more common in younger men though?). Accordingly, on those grounds you could view a man who dumps his ex as also having a red flag. I dated a guy who did this to all of his exes - I liked that fact whi… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 24/03/22 11:01 PM |
| 54 | Word soup for “don’t be a pick me”This author's actually been writing pretty sweet sex negative stuff for a while now. A couple of her earlier articles have been posted on FDS before. I made some undergraduate students read one of them in a feminist philosophy course I was teaching (thanks FDS) and a slight majority of them were super interested in it. Given that sex negativity isn't in the mainstream yet, I don't think this is a bad article or an example of pickme culture (it's a much needed reprieve from the endless onslaught … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 24/03/22 10:49 PM |
| 14 | Why does being hyper feminine translate into bimbo for some of tiktok? I don’t understand this trend and the point. I love pink, purple, dresses, typically “girly” things. However, I don’t see how degrading ourselves with a misogynistic term that has no positive meaning would ‘take back our power’.You never see like, a female House or Sherlock. Exactly! I think the closest I've seen was Daria (which at least was well received - but mostly by women only). Strangely, Spartacus had insanely interesting, compelling, and morally complex women characters (you really wouldn't expect it, but I swear that show is full of surprises). | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 24/03/22 10:23 PM |
| 12 | Pickme women in the workplaceLOL oh idk if this is a thing where you're from but in my city for some reason every Lush employee is aggressively cheerful and does that super high forced-girly voice. I heard from someone who works there that they make you do that/basically only hire you if you're inclined to do it, which sounds exhausting for everyone involved. I still love their products though. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 24/03/22 09:20 PM |
| 60 | sea-lioning, and how to push back hardI think the red flag that you might've been getting trolled occurred when he said 'I don't want to date people with depression either. Such losers.'. You can tell he was saying this antagonistically because of the 'Such losers' part - it shows he doesn't actually understand the basis of your position (he thinks you don't like depressed partners because you're some crazy harpy who thinks depressed people are losers and not because of the obvious reasons you probably articulated in your original p… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 24/03/22 03:43 PM |
| 117 | Why does being hyper feminine translate into bimbo for some of tiktok? I don’t understand this trend and the point. I love pink, purple, dresses, typically “girly” things. However, I don’t see how degrading ourselves with a misogynistic term that has no positive meaning would ‘take back our power’.Exactly!! Not to mention all the stuff that results from being oppressed as a child that you'll never be able to coopt if you haven't gone through it yourself. I remember someone posted something on here that showed that women and girls consistently underestimated their IQ while men and boys overestimated theirs. Where do you think that comes from? When all your representation in media at best shows women as hot, first, and then smart/capable/deep/brooding/funny (okay, they never make them parti… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 24/03/22 02:03 PM |
| 49 | After watching this doc I’m shocked that POS sexual predator Marilyn Manson hasn’t been arrested yet!Oh just the fact that he cheated on her. I mean, at least he didn't put her in some almost comically dramatic torture chamber the way he did with Evan, but that doesn't make cheating any better. Also, I'm pretty sure she's the one who introduced him to Absinthe, so he basically stole her weird gothic witch vibe (idk what they were going for with Absinthe) and used it on Evan to make her think he was cool. Feels like she should've gone soul searching and shit with Dita instead (and things would'v… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 24/03/22 01:35 PM |
| 199 | Why does being hyper feminine translate into bimbo for some of tiktok? I don’t understand this trend and the point. I love pink, purple, dresses, typically “girly” things. However, I don’t see how degrading ourselves with a misogynistic term that has no positive meaning would ‘take back our power’.Something just doesn't sit right about people who grew up as boys entering the feminist movement and coopting it to promote being fuckdolls. In any case, I loved OP's third pic. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 24/03/22 01:22 PM |
| 84 | After watching this doc I’m shocked that POS sexual predator Marilyn Manson hasn’t been arrested yet!It's crazy to me that someone this conventionally attractive and wealthy and successful at such a young age still got screwed over by patriarchy-induced pick-meism. It truly doesn't discriminate. Also, I feel like they underplayed how fucked up what he did to Dita was in this documentary. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 24/03/22 01:12 PM |
| 58 | Pickme women in the workplaceHer voice deepens when she talks to women. This particular thing irritates me so much, and I can't even articulate why. People who artificially raise their voices around people just frustrate me to no end. I get lowering your voice Elizabeth Holmes style, because maybe you want to be taken more seriously or sound like you know what you're doing, which I'm sympathetic to; but raising your voice to anyone who's not a baby, a cat, or your long term partner when you're being cuddly or something is j… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 24/03/22 01:04 PM |
| 17 | Need advice on my hvmI know that he needs the money for other priorities in his life right now and i want this relationship to be as healthy and independent as it can be. One of my biggest fears is becoming the partner in the relationship who nags or complains about their partners effort or lack thereof. The caricature of the dependent, clingy woman who nags all the time was is perpetuated by LVM and pick-mes to silence women and stop them from voicing their needs and setting and enforcing expectations. Don't fall… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 24/03/22 12:27 AM |
| 2 | This loser called GodChosen890 or something is screenshotting our postsMeh who really cares then (also what's the point of screenshotting the post? It's not like we aren't aware what our own posts are)? Scrotes who just dm you basically don't exist (unless they have hilarious post histories, which is a delightful surprise that sometimes happens). Once someone posted a screenshot from some scrote who dm'd her and it turns out he posts on a psychoanalysis subreddit wrestling with why he wants to be a child who's babied by an older mommy. Once I got a guy who posts on… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 23/03/22 11:44 PM |
| 10 | But sex work is work, amirite?Well, I suppose I don't really think a man who was ever pornsick fully unlearns whatever porn has done to him (especially if he's gotten to the point of becoming porn sick in the first place). The reason it's so offputting is because, at one point, unlike other men (or women), this person saw porn and continually chose to masturbate to it, instead of realizing at some point that this is morally reprehensible. I think the same sort of thing holds for OP's gf. Tons of women are conditioned by soci… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 23/03/22 08:04 PM |
| 56 | But sex work is work, amirite?For once, I actually agree with a scrote's intuitions in an FDS post. Dating a woman who participates in sex work because of sex posi brainwashing (as opposed to trafficking or out of financial desperation) isn't really that different than dating a pornsick male. They both have the same mindset and values: objectifying women is okay. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 23/03/22 06:20 PM |
| 5 | BAD VEGAN on Netflix - Crazy story of a conman controlling, gaslighting, and stealing millions from his girlfriend/wifeI KNOW I suppose it's good that they kind of pulled a bait and switch though, since the sort of people who get way too excited at paying attention to moral slip ups in vegans instead of, you know, actually even attempting to be vegan themselves likely wouldn't possess the open mindedness or impartial curiosity to watch the documentary if they knew it'd paint a vegan in a positive light. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 23/03/22 04:11 AM |
| 7 | Scrote wants his mortgage paid offTo be fair a couple of days ago I saw people on a personal finance sub telling some guy to dump his gf of 2 years because she didn't want to go 50/50 on the rent - I think patriarchy is endemic to any male dominated space. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 22/03/22 02:41 PM |
| 41 | BAD VEGAN on Netflix - Crazy story of a conman controlling, gaslighting, and stealing millions from his girlfriend/wifeI loved this, but why did they call it bad vegan? Like, the one who did all the bad shit in this was an obese non-vegan man | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 22/03/22 12:39 AM |
| 12 | Being vulnerable to help build intimacy in relationships.I do think it makes sense to do this only after you've known them over a decent period of time, but it's worth noting that in this thread some people argue that you should never do this with men; if that's the case, then I don't really see why you should bother dating them to begin with. It just seems like the avoidant version of 'you should make sure to cook and clean in order to be treated well by men' style advice - like no thanks, I'll just be myself, demand what I want out of relationships,… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 22/03/22 12:35 AM |
| 14 | Being vulnerable to help build intimacy in relationships.My motto is "Tell your best friend, therapist, or a journal". As far as I'm concerned, there's no need for a man to know my past traumas because what purpose does it serve? I think the purpose it serves is that your partner ought to be your best friend (otherwise, why would I date them and not do some sort of political lesbianism thing with my best friend? I don't need men for sex, I can just masturbate). Just because so many men fail to be decent people doesn't mean that I ought to settle for a… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 21/03/22 11:57 PM |
| 11 | Being vulnerable to help build intimacy in relationships.I'm not so sure about this. If a man does this, wouldn't the solution be to dump him and find someone else, not police yourself to accommodate his sociopathic tendencies? | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 21/03/22 11:33 PM |
| 14 | Being vulnerable to help build intimacy in relationships.He doesn’t feel like you’re being vulnerable or like he’s building a deeper connection, he feels like you’re playing a stereotypical woman and now he’s going to pile you in his mind where he throws all his other strong opinions about women. Meh - if this is what a man does in response to emotional vulnerability then there's basically no point to him as a relationship partner is there? There's one, major, non-negotiable thing I want from a relationship (heh, this might even count as a kind of bou… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 21/03/22 10:58 PM |
| 138 | Made a mistake and fell backwards. Devastated and need help with feeling grounded back into the real world. “If he wanted to, he would.” has never hurt so bad.Don't idealize how he's treating this new woman (if that's even true/if she even exists). He said 'He said they talk often and he doesn’t know what it will become' so it's not even a thing. He's groping for people to make OP jealous, but the fact is that it's just not easy for middle aged men (let alone ones with spotty dating histories like OP's ex) to find other options. Unlike OP, who'll be able to find someone new (though not necessarily HV) the moment she snaps out of her breakup feelings, … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 21/03/22 10:03 PM |
| 14 | This is why you should NEVER be the breadwinner! ultra huge red flagUgh this one's tough because it's not like she knew he'd be unemployed going into it (he had a job when he met her) and by the time they were serious and committed he suddenly lost his and wouldn't get another one. I feel bad for her. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 21/03/22 01:42 PM |
| 43 | Ok what is up with this man and sleeping hats?I mean the funny thing is to an extent it kind of does cater to his gaze/desires (the whole point is to make her hair look more conventionally attractive - to the extent that even he prefers the results). It just adds another level of absurdity to his behaviour - like he's so irrational he can't even wait 5 minutes to get what he wants out of objectifying his gf | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 21/03/22 12:57 PM |
| 53 | Make it make senseThat and, pragmatically speaking, there are tons of men out there who don't do either of these things, so you might as well just hold out for them. It's no different than refusing to work for a company without a union simply because so many exist with unions. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 20/03/22 01:41 PM |
| 44 | Interracial dating and avoiding MRAsOn the other hand, I have witnessed Women of Colour fall prey to abusive white men. Other white women wouldn't have touched these losers with a 10ft pole but some of their red flags got lost in translation / were mistaken as cultural and religious differences by WoC. THIS EXACT THING HAS HAPPENED TO ME FJKDLSFJS literally thought straight up alcoholism in a ZVM I dated for 6 years was normal because I thought it was a white person thing. This person also only ever dated brown ethnic women (I'm s… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 20/03/22 01:35 PM |
| 14 | Absolutely 100%For what it's worth I do think a man who makes a big deal about 50/50 would do it or generally mooch in any relationship. Even if it seems like they ostensibly like some new woman more, they're just pulling the same shit they probably did to get their ex (acting HV, then letting the mask drop eventually). I've never known a man who was a douche in one relationship and much better in others; if anything, I've actually known three who get worse with each new one. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 20/03/22 01:02 PM |
| 8 | I prefer saying “I already knew that,” so he’s 100% sure that I’m the one being condescending. 🦕🦕🦕Sometimes I'll interrupt and finish parts of what theyre were going to say to semi-politely let them know I already know about the subject but they'll keep going. I actually don't mind it that much, because I think I usually interpret it as them desperately trying to make sure there aren't lulls in the conversation (to the point where they'd recount something they know I already know) or them trying to impress me; either way it seems like they're trying to jump through some sort of conversationa… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 20/03/22 12:48 PM |
| 12 | Hiding my former crushes' posts on social media was such a great decisionI think constantly posting on social media is a turn-off too so I don't know why so many of the men I had crushes on turned out to be like that (Like why was I even drawn to them in the first place?). God that's unlucky. I wonder if there are red flags. I do think some of the stuff people on FDS value in men (e.g. spending more time on grooming/fashion than most men do) might also be traits displayed more often in self absorbed men (i.e. the kinds addicted to social media). I'd also imagine you'… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 19/03/22 04:05 PM |
| 82 | Hiding my former crushes' posts on social media was such a great decisionFor some reason, almost all of my former crushes liked to post a lot on social media This is so surprising - for some reason I get immediate ick if I know a guy posts a lot on social media. Like I won't mind being friends, but it makes them seem juvenille to me. You know how a lot of women wouldn't date a man who was like a decade younger than them? Guys who post on social media (even if they're my age or older) make me feel like that. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 19/03/22 01:38 PM |
| 3 | Yes, you are. 💋Hey, Guys! Guess what! Women don't get jobs unless they do all the hundred tasks scrote, here, describes, every damn workday. Wifey Grace could be the most amazing biochemist in the state, or the top civil engineer, or politician, or executive director, but she won't get hired for an in-person job with just average grooming that a dude can pass with (clean clothes, haircut, teeth brushed). Honestly women say this all the time (probably because other women perpetuate this lie) and it's so not tru… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 18/03/22 10:33 AM |
| 55 | Spotted one in the wild.The incel energy in this overly aggressive bio | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 17/03/22 10:58 PM |
| 90 | I’m so sick of women having to question whether they are crazy for getting upset over things that are completely normal to get upset over!!!!On that note, I've always suspected that post-partum depression is not only hormonal but in many cases also just a rational reaction to men's scumbag behavior and horribly insensitive labour + post-natal care Same, 100%. Like, you see it with false accusations of PMS/PMDD, hysteria etc. - there's a long history of attributing mental illnesses in women to internal factors and not background social conditions. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 17/03/22 09:00 PM |
| 193 | I’m so sick of women having to question whether they are crazy for getting upset over things that are completely normal to get upset over!!!!I KNOW also I love how his deranged family and he all feel so entitled to this baby despite not having given birth to it. Like, 'good riddance' my ass the only reason she's staying with him is because he baby trapped her and given that no other woman would get involved with this mess of a family if it weren't for her they'd have no grand kid to lord over to begin with | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 17/03/22 03:19 PM |
| 600 | I’m so sick of women having to question whether they are crazy for getting upset over things that are completely normal to get upset over!!!!Holy shit imagine literally giving birth to a child and having these insane freaks of nature fuck around with its name while you're unconscious. Also her husband is so disgustingly enmeshed with his family. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 17/03/22 02:47 PM |
| 3 | Do these shallow men expect us to feel bad for them? I certainly don’t ¯\_(ツ)_/¯Empathy and self respect. I don't think people realize to what extent a man who sleeps with a woman he's not interested in has truly no, basic self respect. We make fun of casual sex pick mes for needing validation when they do the same thing, but if you really think about it, these men are no different. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 17/03/22 02:12 PM |
| 11 | What do we think about a man wanting to be treated like a trophy wife?For some reason men think being trophy husband/stay at home dad just consists in doing housework, when it also clearly involves a bunch of extra shit (interior design, maintaining my social life, never being remotely overweight and doing all that extra crap women do to look good e.g. makeup/hair salon stuff etc., not just cooking anything but doing a lot of nutritional planning and cooking stuff that's actively good for everyone around them etc. etc.). I think this is the real problem with stay … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 17/03/22 01:25 PM |
| 82 | Husband Hates Wife: CEO Edition. He refers to his wife publicly as a "sucker", she asked HIM out, they dated for 5 years before getting married. This is his anniversary post after 12 years of marriage.I've never actually known anyone who posts regularly on social media who's a remotely tolerable person. They're invariably more ego than person. The crazy part is they're totally tone deaf and blind to how everyone else just sees them as sniffing their own farts. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 16/03/22 10:14 PM |
| 25 | Ma'am, you cannot buy a man's love.The crazy part is they could get it so easily by just dumping him and finding someone else - it's one of the only social upshots of being a woman. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 16/03/22 09:37 PM |
| 72 | Ma'am, you cannot buy a man's love.I think it's actually harder to resist being a pickme if they're indifferent than if they're hateful or pick fights. Partly that's for the reason you mentioned - at least if they're fighting with you that implies they still care about you and so it's a kind of validation - but also it's because if someone's mean to you your basic self esteem is enough to make you offended and not stand for it/leave, but if someone's indifferent you're perpetually confused about where you stand - it's not enough … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 16/03/22 09:35 PM |
| 2 | Suspicious?Same! I used to frequent some fantastic feminist subreddits with decent traffic (e.g. pinkpillfeminism) that inevitably got banned. but I think because FDS' mods are so on top of shit and they have that 'you can't post without flair and a proven track-record' rule they've manage to escape the same fate. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 16/03/22 02:18 PM |
| 2 | From the tinder subreddit. I have no words.LMAO the sheer number of guys I knew who played women toons makes this outcome way more probable too. I'm pretty sure most people who used to cyber with belf characters in org were just men cybering with other men | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 15/03/22 04:48 PM |
| 58 | This story makes me angry for her. Never give your kidney to any man. This girl just gave her kidney to her boyfriend and then he cheated on her. This man is disgusting!She needs to name him and shame him I KNOW I've seen her tell this story on multiple platforms online (which is awesome), but I really do wish she could at least say who this guy is so he could go the way of west elm caleb and have every woman avoid dating him. Men like this need to be publicly shamed or put on some sort of public list analogous to a sex offender list, not just so they face justice, but also so other women can avoid making the same mistakes. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 15/03/22 04:42 PM |
| 68 | Do these shallow men expect us to feel bad for them? I certainly don’t ¯\_(ツ)_/¯Ahh finally a warm and fuzzy FDS post | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 15/03/22 03:03 PM |
| 14 | lvm approached me and I made a disgusted face at himI think OP's point is that men who put no effort into themselves shouldn't feel like they have a chance at scoring with women out of their league. Like, this is the same kind of guy who thinks dating someone at his level is a 'practice gf' or who dumps someone expecting to find someone better only to find out nobody wants them - they're opportunistic and deluded. In thinking we ought to hold men to the same standards we hold women, I think OP's on to something. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 15/03/22 02:47 PM |
| 12 | Become of ZERO UTILITY to men in dating.Eh I totally agree with this. Part of being HV is loving your partner for their deep character traits - not for whether they'll be of utility to you. If you have to jump through random patriarchal hoops to score a HVM, then they simply aren't worth it. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 15/03/22 02:41 PM |
| 102 | This story makes me angry for her. Never give your kidney to any man. This girl just gave her kidney to her boyfriend and then he cheated on her. This man is disgusting!Christianity loves making women overly giving, prone to forgiveness, and shameful of their righteous indignation. You can even see it when her boyfriend thought he could use the bible to gaslight her into forgiving him faster. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 15/03/22 02:35 PM |
| 63 | This story makes me angry for her. Never give your kidney to any man. This girl just gave her kidney to her boyfriend and then he cheated on her. This man is disgusting!Okay why does every christian guy I know cheat? You'd think people who follow a religion that makes such a big deal about self restraint would be capable of restraining themselves in ways that come super easily to the vast majority of other people. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 15/03/22 02:34 PM |
| 7 | SWer finds out her dad watches porn. Calls him vile and disgusting. He doesn’t get why and neither does Reddit.You actually see this attitude a lot in liberal feminism - like it's some sort of thought crime to critique the actions of misogynist women. They love painting these women out as victims of patriarchy and thus totally absolved of moral standards, but while they are victims of patriarchy, so are all of us - yet not all of us make a living off of undermining women at large. They're the women equivalent of people who opt out of company unions. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 15/03/22 02:23 PM |
| 6 | SWer finds out her dad watches porn. Calls him vile and disgusting. He doesn’t get why and neither does Reddit.Exactly. Even if she's only now realizing the consequences of her actions, it still is hypocritical because she isn't just taking money from these dumb men, she's also throwing every other woman who doesn't want to be objectified or doesn't want their partner to be pornsick under the bus. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 15/03/22 02:21 PM |
| 95 | Suspicious?Exactly! It was the explicit mentioning of it that seemed off (also, nobody really looks at FDS as a simple 'dating sub' - like even if you're pro-FDS you'd realize it's basically a feminist subreddit that happens to focus on interpersonal relationships between men and women in particular). | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 14/03/22 07:14 PM |
| 127 | SWer finds out her dad watches porn. Calls him vile and disgusting. He doesn’t get why and neither does Reddit.I mean, to be fair this does seem hypocritical. Like, you can't simultaneously think that watching porn is morally wrong while also profiting off and contributing to the industry | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 14/03/22 07:04 PM |
| 525 | Suspicious?That last sentence sounds suspicious/fake. Also why does every uninteresting moron think they can do a podcast? | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 14/03/22 03:55 PM |
| 36 | If He Wanted to He Would, God Edition: I am pissed enough to make a whole as$ post about thisI'd think checking if a guy is actually vegetarian/vegan if you're specifically in Buddhist, Hindu, or Jain communities might also be a pretty useful heuristic (since if he's not, it suggests something about either his inability to control himself to the extent that he doesn't practice the actual doctrine or his lack of respect for animals). | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 12/03/22 05:23 PM |
| 448 | From the tinder subreddit. I have no words.He's clearly taking the piss out of her to see to what extent he can piss some random woman off. This is definitely a pretty straightforward case of block and delete, since the longer you engage with him the more satisfied he is. I can confirm this cause I used to do the exact same thing to random republican military dudes on world of warcraft when I was like 13 and thought it was hilarious | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 12/03/22 04:08 PM |
| 19 | He came back.God those early ones are the hardest to leave because you want to cling to the idea that you found your person immediately (and you have no idea what dating other people could be like or how successful you might be at finding someone). | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 12/03/22 02:56 PM |
| 16 | He came back.Men do have very limited options for dating in practice, but in their imagination there is an endless line of women who want to meet them. I wonder how they remain so optimistic and deluded in light of reality routinely hitting in them in the face. Like, that kind of blind optimism would probably help a lot of women out. Sometimes I think the only difference between incels and regular guys are that the former have woken up to their reality and situation while the latter haven't. Of course, their… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 12/03/22 11:36 AM |
| 17 | He came back.I think men have very little selection/options when it comes to the dating market (which is ironic given their invariable love of 'space' and 'options' and 'figuring themselves out') so he has to sort of desperately tap any potential resources, even if it's super unlikely that they'd take him up on his offer. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 12/03/22 11:17 AM |
| 42 | He came back.The relationship starts off good but ends up being WORSE than HS. He ghosts for days and weeks at a time (I once only saw him one time out of the month), and is flaky when I want to make plans to spend time with him. In the 3 years we dated, HOW DID YOU DO THIS FOR THREE YEARS god this particular variant of scrotery strikes me as the most stressful and soul destroying of everything catalogued on FDS. I really, really hate men like this. we can fuck, I can eat you out, or we can hang out I hate t… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 12/03/22 11:07 AM |
| 13 | Left my fiancée today. Here is the letter I left him.Take both the dogs! He clearly has no problem abusing Ace. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 12/03/22 10:58 AM |
| 97 | The whole unmitigated audacity of this scrote. 🤢 I am so glad sis leveled up, adjusted her crown and LEFT.It's also so naive given that, out of a relationship, it's so much easier for a woman to find another one than a man. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 12/03/22 10:22 AM |
| 92 | Is he an asshole or is it Aspergers?I have been running into men like this for YEARS!In general I am an intellectual and am attracted to intelligence. So the thing I've noticed is that smart guys in STEM are invariably, exactly like this, while smart guys in humanities (law, philosophy, history etc.) tend not to be. I have no idea why, but this is probably one of the most consistent patterns I've noticed. Also, I've known two women who've been diagnosed with autism and neither of them are remotely standoffish like this (though one… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 11/03/22 06:04 PM |
| 369 | Makeup Give UpI never wear makeup - not to parties, formal events, work, on special occasions etc. I also stopped removing any body hair five years ago. For what it's worth, nobody ever commented on it (not even men), I had no issues getting the jobs/positions I was gunning for, and I had no issues meeting or dating men either. Basically, if a man doesn't have to do it and I've noticed no appreciable negative consequences, then why would I? | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 10/03/22 08:40 PM |
| 16 | Met a creep and now motivated to not repeat. How do you motivate yourself to glow up when you've had nothing but bad experiences with men?Completely agree. If 'feeling like yourself' happens to involve adhering to tightly constrained conventional beauty standards, then maybe you ought to look at your impulses with a more critical eye. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 08/03/22 11:16 PM |
| 4 | Met a creep and now motivated to not repeat. How do you motivate yourself to glow up when you've had nothing but bad experiences with men?The only women I know with HVM partners seem to be size 8 or above. The only thing I can think of that unifies them is (relative) job prestige and the fact that they met their partners IRL or through mutual friends rather than via dating apps. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 08/03/22 11:15 PM |
| 11 | When men in professional settings treat you like sh*t when you don't wear makeup. I'm sorry, was this supposed to be a date?!I'd imagine this depends maybe on context. I'm a grad student and I think people generally tend to respect women less if they wear makeup, so the vast majority don't at work. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 08/03/22 03:15 PM |
| 177 | What are some good dating green flags?checking in with you regularly (after you're in an official relationship - otherwise this might be kind of creepy) being actively nice to animals remembering and noticing details about you initiating things (messages, dates, words of affection etc.) doing the above consistently and not just dropping off at some point in time | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 07/03/22 02:46 PM |
| 122 | What are some good dating green flags?That second one's huge. I feel like I know so many women who do this compulsively in relationships but most men don't (beyond perhaps the first few months). | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 07/03/22 02:42 PM |
| 55 | post about hating women topped off with a picture of an on-screen abuser and the girl he abused!Evidently he won’t understand basic grammar either | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 04/03/22 06:46 PM |
| 53 | Can a man that has done anal be a HVM?I've always found it funny how men were so reluctant to believe that vaginas retain their shape regardless of how much sex a woman has (despite them having evolved for this purpose) while they readily accept nonsense logic like you can 'train' your asshole by shoving foreign objects into it (which was designed exclusively to poop stuff out). | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 03/03/22 03:04 PM |
| 25 | Can a man that has done anal be a HVM?I don't think this is necessarily true. The thing about pick mes and kinkmeishas is that they can get out of their predicament by learning to love themselves and take themselves seriously as people. I do think developing self esteem is something anyone can do. I don't think learning to be a moral person, beyond a certain age, is something anyone can do, which is why I don't these other people (criminals, drug addicts, porn addicts etc.) can permanently change (even if they do for a short period … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 03/03/22 03:02 PM |
| 25 | Can a man that has done anal be a HVM?some parts of the anatomy of a woman can only be estimulated with anal. Am I the only person who finds this super amusing? Like, here's a man (with a prostate) who has such a poor idea of women's anatomy that he thinks women have special organs or something that can be stimulated only via anal. News flash buddy, some pick me faking an orgasm while you make her more likely to be permanently incontinent isn't evidence of this magical butt g spot. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 03/03/22 03:00 PM |
| 28 | Men who hide their political views from youHe will claim to be "apolitical", he will refuse to talk about politics because it "creates unneccessary conflict", it's not important to him yadda yadda. So you're right that this is probably manipulative, but this also always struck me as just plain ick-inducing. Like the only people who say this shit are people who can't defend their views i.e. stupid people. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 02/03/22 02:19 PM |
| 26 | You won't give your wife the assurance/insurance she needs to know that she will not financially suffer for having a child with you but you will still TaKe CaRe Of YoUr ChILd. The audacity. 🤡Okay people always shit on China and the east in general for being regressive when it comes to women's rights but if these expectations are normal in China then if anything they seem a lot more progressive than over here? | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 02/03/22 04:30 AM |
| 11 | Wholesome post❤️ i’ll be doing the sameStrange how at no point in my life, whether I was 12, 16, 19, or 26 did I cheat on someone. Almost like basic moral integrity doesn't have much to do with age at all. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 01/03/22 07:25 PM |
| 9 | Wholesome post❤️ i’ll be doing the sameSuch cool parents. It's weird thinking their son's such an asshole when he at least had the opportunity to be raised around moral people. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 01/03/22 07:24 PM |
| 37 | Am I the only one who's starting to believe I'll never be loved?Community is colleagues! jfdsklfjdds I worked so hard to get to a career situation in which I wouldn't have to work a 9-5 and could largely WFH and could have abundant amounts of leisure time, only to be smacked in the face with the fact that nobody wants to actually hang out with me. There's no escaping late-stage capitalism is there | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 28/02/22 05:46 PM |
| 44 | Am I the only one who's starting to believe I'll never be loved?This is honestly a good idea, but every friend I do meet, if they are single, is inevitably 'looking' for someone (usually on dating apps). I don't know anyone my age who just straight up isn't looking or in a relationship, except for one person who's probably the most HVW I've met, but she's moved to study law in a different city. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 28/02/22 05:43 PM |
| 54 | Am I the only one who's starting to believe I'll never be loved?I've been thinking about this a lot lately and I think there are two variants of crazy/shitty guys: (1) the controlling, aggressive, spam your phone, stalker kind and (2) the unreliable, 'went out for cigarettes and never came back', slow fading west elm caleb kind. I've invariably run into the latter and never the former. I don't really know why either! I don't just mean in terms of short term dates and long term relationships - I mean everywhere. Hell, I don't even get spammed by aggressive sc… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 28/02/22 05:23 PM |
| 53 | Am I the only one who's starting to believe I'll never be loved?But I do think that people need a community and that has been kind if destroyed in our current society. EXACTLY. And then people try going on OLD apps to see if they can somehow artificially force this community to come into being only to be surprised by the lowest value scrotes. The problem is that the background structures aren't in place to foster healthy relationships that grow naturally, the way they were meant to (via meeting IRL without any pretence of dating). If we lived in a world with… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 28/02/22 01:59 PM |
| 235 | Am I the only one who's starting to believe I'll never be loved?Maybe I'm mistaken, but you seem young. When I was much younger, this was a huge problem to me. Now I honestly think it's a bit weird to care about that. The funny thing is when I was comparatively younger I was less worried about this stuff, since it felt like things could fall into place over time. Then a LVM stole my early to mid 20s and now I'm 26 going on 27. I'm at that age where a lot of people are getting married to their stable, long term partners, and I'm sort of realizing that it coul… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 28/02/22 01:57 PM |
| 40 | Am I the only one who's starting to believe I'll never be loved?I find my pick me friends aren't malicious in a competitive way, but they do forget you exist when a guy comes around. I know why too - they're so anxious for their boyfriends' approval (often times they aren't even actually boyfriends) that they can't exercise the emotional self control to not go running to them the few times they toss them a couple breadcrumbs. I'm sort of sympathetic to that, since it's just anxiety that's making them throw reason out the window, but it also sucks for me sinc… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 28/02/22 01:54 PM |
| 65 | Am I the only one who's starting to believe I'll never be loved?At this point I'd be happy to find the love of good friends. I KNOW the problem is I have met really good friends, but they're all so deep in the pick me sauce that whenever they meet some guy they'll just disappear and there's basically no solidarity or reliability. I know the FDS standard of a good friend is basically not a pick me, but they're good in other respects that are valuable and rare (e.g. they're genuinely easy to talk to, they're perceptive and insightful, they're caring - at least… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 28/02/22 01:42 PM |
| 161 | Am I the only one who's starting to believe I'll never be loved?So people always say finding someone who loves you is more a matter of timing, luck, and location than anything else. They're probably right - but isn't that kind of creepy? How do people just go on day to day knowing something that could change their lives so significantly is just a matter of having been born at the right place and time? And how don't they feel a wildly oppressive sense of cosmic injustice if they're one of the many who don't end up finding love? How do people just carry on lik… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 28/02/22 01:26 PM |
| 137 | Euphoria: libfem propaganda or thoughtful series?Okay so initially I thought it was basically just trashy soft core porn, but the infamous 'cassie' episode was actually pretty cool and got me back into it. It's the most accurate rendition of pick-me life I've ever seen. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 28/02/22 11:26 AM |
| 4 | Therapy lines that are used for manipulationImagine being a literal rapist and you're like 'ooooh my god some notifications from this woman I willingly slept with I'm going to collapse' | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 28/02/22 12:36 AM |
| 2 | Therapy lines that are used for manipulationYeah sadly his just went along with whatever he said and I think told him to break up with me I'd imagine a lot of therapists do this because (as this thread has indicated) you can use therapeutic jargon to justify pretty much anything and it's easy money getting paid to just perpetually validate people. Also, men who go to female therapists to talk about relationship issues strike me as more pathetic than even men with female best friends - like they were so unattractive that no woman would wan… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 28/02/22 12:12 AM |
| 6 | Therapy lines that are used for manipulationLOL I think my ex tried doing this too but evidently his therapist was perceptive enough to realize he had the disorder I thought he had. I was pleasantly surprised. They aren’t all like that though | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 27/02/22 10:44 PM |
| 407 | Never EVER share financial information with a man. It starts with $20 now but can easily escalate to much more over the years. Come across the wrong one and they will absolutely destroy you financially.Imagine just stealing someones credit card in any other context. The entitlement is unbelievable. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 27/02/22 09:51 PM |
| 18 | Therapy lines that are used for manipulationI study philosophy and a lot of the implicit assumptions that are taken to be fact in other fields are framed in different lights and called into question by philosophers. Therapy, psychiatry, and psychology represent one of the most contentious industries, IMO, because they present normative claims about good and bad behaviour as if they were facts of a similar kind as 'eating sugar is bad for you'. They also don't engage in the sort of critical inquiry they ought to in order to responsibly dis… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 27/02/22 08:48 PM |
| 12 | Therapy lines that are used for manipulationIt's weird to me that so many guys do this specific e-simping thing, since I know guys who've never done it before and have no desire to - it's not like porn where the majority of guys look at it. How can guys be insecure over dick sizes but not doing this pathetic shit? Why don't women just trade ones in who do this for ones who don't? While HV guys aren't exactly abundant ones who don't jerk it to ig certainly are. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 27/02/22 08:44 PM |
| 111 | 'Mums Unite To Make Porn They Are Happy For Kids To Watch' | This is just soooo embarrassingBack in highschool my women friends would just masturbate to erotica and fanfic. Why don't they just encourage men to do that? Maybe they'd finally learn to associate finding someone attractive with their actual, subjective personhood and personality then. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 27/02/22 08:38 PM |
| 12 | Therapy lines that are used for manipulationPeople’s actions effect others emotions. Anyone who doesn’t understand that has a lower IQ than a 5 year old. Or is probably a narcissist manchild. Even toddlers understand that. This is basically the basis of all moral reasoning, too. This is the sort of person who thinks they have obligations to others only if those obligations are legal. They're stuck at the level of moral reasoning suited for children | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 27/02/22 08:29 PM |
| 27 | Male tells another male how to 'dress up' BDSM in Woke terms. 🤢This is pretty much how I read it too. I also think this is happening (in that the men who profit off of people like Cardi B know they can make money this way). | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 27/02/22 07:49 PM |
| 7 | Male tells another male how to 'dress up' BDSM in Woke terms. 🤢Thanks. I didn't - in fact in my original post I said it was surprising to see high value behaviour in a comedy sketch show. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 27/02/22 07:34 PM |
| 20 | Male tells another male how to 'dress up' BDSM in Woke terms. 🤢The mere existence of shitty male feminists doesn't somehow make pick mes immune to criticism. This is no different than saying 'what?? you care about equal pay? oppressed women in Afghanistan have it way worse'. It's derailing. In fact, pick mes aren't criticized enough in media - this is the only thing I've seen that actually makes fun of the absurd way they try to sexualize young people. Want to know who thinks women are immune from criticism? Libfems. The same pro sex libfems who say 'you do… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 27/02/22 06:34 PM |
| 30 | Male tells another male how to 'dress up' BDSM in Woke terms. 🤢To be clear the sort of person they're making fun of isn't just someone I dislike - it's someone who harms women. Recognizing that women are human and ought to be taken seriously enough to be criticized and doing so when they've done something morally reprehensible is high value. It's high value for the same reason chastising pedophiles, animal abusers, cheaters, and deadbeat dads is high value. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 27/02/22 06:07 PM |
| 76 | Male tells another male how to 'dress up' BDSM in Woke terms. 🤢Just because someone's a woman doesn't mean she's immune to cultural criticism. If what she does undermines the welfare of other women, then yeah, making fun of her is pretty cool. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 27/02/22 05:01 PM |
| 79 | Male tells another male how to 'dress up' BDSM in Woke terms. 🤢I KNOW you wouldn't think random sketch comedians on comedy central would be where you'd find HV behaviour | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 27/02/22 03:55 PM |
| 296 | Male tells another male how to 'dress up' BDSM in Woke terms. 🤢Honestly even key and peele did a sketch about this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yvCNNDY49cE Liberal feminism is a literal joke. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 27/02/22 03:31 PM |
| 72 | Therapy lines that are used for manipulationAlso like, what even is the point of a relationship if you can't expect your partner to enrich your life emotionally? It's the 21st century women aren't financially dependent on men anymore. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 27/02/22 02:54 PM |
| 73 | How to approach friend about her new relationshipOh god, I can so sympathize with why she'd want to rush into marriage with some new guy after wasting a decade of her life with some loser who wouldn't marry her. Something sort of similar happened with a friend of mine and it turned out he was just straight up abusive (like he'd throw her stuff out on the lawn, pull her hair etc.) and she went totally AWOL from our friend group for 6 months while living in a different city. Eventually she dumped him and moved back, though. The friendship semi r… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 27/02/22 02:33 PM |
| 260 | Vetting Vetting, imagine being with a man for 30 yrs plus and he doesn’t love you, only as a best friend…. This is sad.lmao that first sentence. So this is the kind of guy who has a female best friend. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 27/02/22 11:23 AM |
| 34 | Can an LVM turn into a HVM later in life?I do think some people can change but there are definitely points of no return or unusually abhorrent behaviour that signals a flaw in character and integrity so deep that a person can't really change from it e.g. 1) cheating/proposing 'open relationships' 2) being a womanizer or having a casual sex phase 3) being violent etc. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 27/02/22 11:17 AM |
| 27 | Friends with Men?I don't have any deep male friendships but I don't mind being friendly acquaintances with them (e.g. I might get coffee if we're both at work at the same time or might even check out a new restaurant with them, but I wouldn't exactly look to them for advice about serious issues or have them over at my house or anything). | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 27/02/22 03:41 AM |
| 131 | I used to think there was something wrong with me...I think another really useful and obvious way to assess whether you're the problem (because that still is, in principle, possible - e.g. see most LV scrotes who can never hold down a relationship for more than like 6 months) is by just examining your friendships. Do you have no long term friends? Do you get all anxious or paranoid or clingy with them? Do they think you're an argumentative bitch or routinely try ignoring you? If not, then you're not the problem. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 26/02/22 05:37 PM |
| 149 | Watching these brave people of Ukraine defend their country has reminded me that most of the men I've dated have been cowards.Why is it that instead of being utterly repulsed by men who literally run away and refuse to talk about problems that women are supposed to "communicate" and give them multiple chances? Well, to be fair geopolitical wars and literal missiles are less frightening than a woman who enforces basic boundaries of love and respect, so. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 26/02/22 02:32 PM |
| 3 | Know your boundaries 🚧 and enforce them without guilt.YES exactly. I'd always been reasonably comfortable enforcing negative boundaries and never met much resistance, but the importance of positive boundaries was something I only started clueing in on after a traumatic breakup and after finding FDS. I stayed too long in a shitty relationship because, while in the relationship, I thought 'well, he's not controlling, he doesn't get angry, he's not really the jealous type, what do I have to complain about?' but only after did I realize that this perso… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 26/02/22 02:00 PM |
| 15 | Know your boundaries 🚧 and enforce them without guilt.Basically, I think LVM of a certain variety (the avoidant kind) could use this sort of stuff as rhetoric to guilt you for wanting greater intimacy and connection. Here's an example: imagine a partner wants their spouse to spend more time with them instead of being at work all the time or playing videogames, with friends etc. constantly. Their spouse could just push them away by pulling a 'you're demanding too much of my time and violating my time boundaries'. Alternatively, imagine a man who rar… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 25/02/22 10:22 PM |
| 14 | Know your boundaries 🚧 and enforce them without guilt.Eh, I can think of plenty of avoidant men who have a great sense of personal boundaries and have no problem respecting yours - but as a result, they're just shit partners and you're barely in a relationship with them to begin with. I think it's probably better just finding someone who establishes a similar degree of boundaries as you do, rather than taking boundaries to be intrinsically valuable. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 25/02/22 09:24 PM |
| 65 | Financially abusive Scrote strings along his 4.5 year live-in girlfriend, finally "gets engaged", yet cries when he finds out that he wasn't entitled to ALL of her money after all, etc. Next, he pitches it to the audience about whether he should take the money, then dump her any way.she’s settling for whatever reasons It's 100% sunk cost fallacy and the fact that she's comfortable living with him and doesn't like change. I really do think getting married by 2 years of dating is the best idea, because it's just enough time to make an educated decision about whether your partner is the sort of person you ought to marry but not so much time that the thought of breaking it off is inconceivable in case they aren't. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 25/02/22 08:16 PM |
| 46 | Financially abusive Scrote strings along his 4.5 year live-in girlfriend, finally "gets engaged", yet cries when he finds out that he wasn't entitled to ALL of her money after all, etc. Next, he pitches it to the audience about whether he should take the money, then dump her any way.I would happily pay someone $22k to go through the trouble of gestating and giving birth to my child. The value of that is worth a hell of a lot more than that. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 25/02/22 08:14 PM |
| 30 | Financially abusive Scrote strings along his 4.5 year live-in girlfriend, finally "gets engaged", yet cries when he finds out that he wasn't entitled to ALL of her money after all, etc. Next, he pitches it to the audience about whether he should take the money, then dump her any way.Imagine she did spend all her money on him for the sake of splitting the bills 'fairly' and in the end he did dump her and she had absolutely nothing left. The kicker is they weren't even married - why would men expect you to combine your finances with them in any way at all, in general, but especially if you're not married?? | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 25/02/22 08:13 PM |
| 297 | Misogyny at its finest. I chortled.Sometimes I've had guys just straight up not remember when I was right about something or won something that happened maybe a week ago. Like, they have this magical selective memory loss that serves only to make me look retarded, apparently. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 25/02/22 08:08 PM |
| 74 | Friendly reminder that your career will never betray you like thisJesus christ, imagine divorcing someone after 10 years who just gave birth to partly your kid because of weight. How do people avoid this?? I wish we knew what his prior red flags were. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 25/02/22 07:50 PM |
| 25 | I wonder if these are high expectationsThey actually would once they age like normal people: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r9zYNMJ6nTM | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 24/02/22 04:17 AM |
| 329 | I wonder if these are high expectationsI think 'is this normal?' has been the downfall of so many women. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 24/02/22 12:57 AM |
| 837 | Women who implement FDS are "groomed, hot, successful, with standards", says FDS-hating manOkay to be fair our 'ruthless standard' is just please have a job, contribute to your family, talk to us regularly, and don't cheat on us. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 24/02/22 12:54 AM |
| 185 | Be careful posting elsewhereWhat sub was it? I think one upshot of not having an FDS only account is that at least you can automatically filter out sexist subs (because any sub that hates FDS that much is bound to be sexist) | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 23/02/22 04:47 PM |
| 70 | Vetting: if a worst case scenario happens to you, can you rely on him?that he must have childhood trauma, that I can't expect to be babied Okay why is this such a common response to a woman being grossly abandoned and not having basic needs met in a relationship? These men don't act this way because of trauma - they act this way because of privilege and because they've routinely had all of their needs catered to by everyone around them without so much as lifting a finger. That's what breeds this kind of selfishness and lack of compassion. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 23/02/22 03:01 PM |
| 181 | Please don't approach anybody's grown-ass son...I also find that the males that I had to approach in the past were very passive and feminine This is so true. I've never explicitly asked a guy out but I have 'helped' guys far too much in asking me out (e.g. by being overly receptive) and have fallen into the habit of initiating and planning everything after having been in a relationship with a guy for a long time. I think sometimes when women do this they get so caught up in trying to shape a relationship and that part of their lives into what… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 22/02/22 09:35 PM |
| 39 | Pickmes in the media and the perpetuation of misogynyyou will look or feel controlling and delusional if you start asking questions. You can also totally shred this by noting that 1) women work 2) women still make time for their families Basically any woman who's not a SAHM should be immune to this since they can just look to themselves to see what they should be able to expect from a partner. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 22/02/22 03:43 PM |
| 94 | Dating has no second chances. Stop giving them!The first breakup should be the last breakup! After all of my breakups, I essentially removed my exes from my life and it’s made my life a billion times simpler than many of my peers. If I'm completely honest with myself the only time I ever wanted to stay in touch with an ex or be on good terms or think of them in a positive light was when I was still hung up on them. Once I'm fully over them I invariably have 0 desire to stay in contact. That's why I'm so suspicious of people who do. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 22/02/22 03:19 PM |
| 13 | Scrote hates his wife at almost absurd levelsLiterally all I saw too. I'm so surprised some women, even on FDS, just naively took his narrative of the story as objective. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 21/02/22 08:07 PM |
| 112 | If you follow FDS right, you WON'T know the full truth of what you dodged. And that's not only fine, it's preferable.You might not know what you dodged until someone else tells you years down the line. You might never know Back in high school when I was 16 I almost got involved with this guy, but ultimately didn't for two reasons: 1) my parents were insanely suspicious of him 2) he said he wanted to start wearing black eyeliner, which struck me as cringe to such a degree that I couldn't see him the same way Apparently, more than a decade later now, he's addicted to meth 😬 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 21/02/22 07:30 PM |
| 5 | Scrote hates his wife at almost absurd levelsDepressed or not she stayed with him for so long, gave birth to multiple children, and chooses to continue to stay despite probably sensing how much he hates her. That's a far greater level of sacrifice than being patient with a depressed partner. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 21/02/22 05:22 PM |
| 13 | Scrote hates his wife at almost absurd levelsExactly! So much for in sickness and in health. It's interesting that this is polarizing on FDS and that from one perspective, people might think you're a pick me for staying with a depressed partner, but from another, you might think that people are pick mes if they normalize entering relationships in which you can't rely on your partner during a tough time. Also, it's not even clear to me to what extent she's depressed because of some chemical imbalance (especially given that SSRIs didn't work… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 21/02/22 05:17 PM |
| 150 | Somehow this is worse than those room rentals on CraigslistOh lord this is your average Marvel fan | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 20/02/22 01:08 AM |
| 9 | Would a HVW make nice with an ex’s new girlfriend for the sake of the kids?Oh god the ‘just hang up’ - he’s triangulating both of you. This must be really hard. I’d think a HVW would prioritize her kids - if they really like her, then let them see more of her; if they don’t, then don’t; and if they’re indifferent, just try to hide the tension and resentment from them as much as you can. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 18/02/22 09:43 PM |
| 185 | What is this the FDS take on “free the nipple” movement?Just more pick me shit. If a woman is pro free the nipple because she thinks that women shouldn’t have to go to all these extra steps to make themselves presentable to men but simultaneously still goes through the extra steps of removing body hair, I call bullshit. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 18/02/22 09:38 PM |
| 158 | Polyamorous PickMe comes *so* close to getting it... but doesn't 🤡followed by crying to whoever will listen that she feels lonely (as her sex parties lack intimacy), hasn't been into someone for as long as she can remember (as she tends to entertain men she's not attracted to), and feels "behind in life" (as it's difficult to make progress in your career when all your time is spent chasing LV dick). It's pretty cool how no matter how many mental gymnastics you go through, your authentic, human motivations will still make themselves known. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 18/02/22 08:51 PM |
| 27 | Generalization of neggingYeah this just seems like basic skepticism rather than negging. Also, negging is typically done to undermine someone's self esteem so you stand a better chance of controlling or dating them - I don't think these commenters were trying to date the person with the dog house. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 18/02/22 04:35 AM |
| 2 | Traits of a man with BDE (big dick energy)You can have caring relationships without such relationships being sexual. If you truly care about someone, and also need to sleep with them, then you ought to care enough about them to commit. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 17/02/22 08:02 PM |
| 24 | Traits of a man with BDE (big dick energy)Any man who's okay with fwb is okay with sleeping with a woman without having a sufficient emotional connection to engender a real relationship. This sort of man is, in essence, okay with objectifying women. This makes him LV. A HVM who's not looking for a relationship just stays friends with women. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 17/02/22 07:28 PM |
| 7 | Valentine’s Day cringeI find that even if you don't really care about weight aesthetically in men or yourself, one upshot of hanging out around health conscious people is that it's a lot easier to implement diet stuff yourself. My one friend basically never eats anything and I always hesitate the least to hang out with her when I'm trying to lose weight since I know she reliably won't tempt me by eating stuff around me. The downside, though, is that a lot of people's apparently health consciousness is in fact motivat… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 17/02/22 07:24 PM |
| 21 | Valentine’s Day cringeSo I'm honestly not that picky about physical appearance (and I'm not being a pick me here, it's just that mega attractive people don't really do much for me or inspire butterflies or anything), but hairlines, height, and teeth make such a difference on men. To me they matter more than their fashion, their weight, their body hair, whether they work out etc. etc. they're basically non-negotiables. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 17/02/22 05:14 PM |
| 41 | Male Scrote tried to silence meI can come off too strong or harsh Imagine thinking someone half your age who's a student, while you're a faculty member, comes off 'strong or harsh'. Like, how cowardly do you have to be? | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 17/02/22 03:04 PM |
| 33 | What is up with men saying they want someone who is passionate about something?I can think of perfect morning music (1960s English folk e.g. Bert Jansch comes to mind. There's even a song called 'mornings brings peace of mind' which is a little on the nose but it's so pretty and gentle). My ex was obsessed with dnb and he eventually became a pornsick alcoholic with utterly fried dopamine receptors who drank 8+ coffees a day. Somehow, those two facts feel connected. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 17/02/22 02:39 PM |
| 18 | What is up with men saying they want someone who is passionate about something?The reason it's off-putting is because men who do this think women aren't passionate about things or don't have real hobbies because they don't actually see women as human. Like, every person everywhere has hobbies because otherwise they'd just be bored out of their minds. They don't think whatever women do as hobbies qualify as hobbies, however. If a woman likes watching documentaries and movies and reading news articles or nonfiction in her free time they won't consider those hobbies, but if a… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 17/02/22 02:32 PM |
| 24 | Why you can’t take men seriously…This post is probably the funniest thing I've seen on FDS to date. I keep coming back to it and it makes me laugh every time. Also I looked up his account and he posted the same message he sent to OP on his own page? Why? Is he afraid he'll never find a man? | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 17/02/22 02:21 AM |
| 144 | S/ she requires no conversation🥰 no effort❤️🔥I get to game while having a girlfriend who reads instead of having a relationship w her😽Oh god he’s exactly this kind of person. Also how exactly do you not make someone feel dumb if you’re objectively and perceptibly smarter than them? | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 16/02/22 03:17 AM |
| 213 | S/ she requires no conversation🥰 no effort❤️🔥I get to game while having a girlfriend who reads instead of having a relationship w her😽The only time I developed a crush on another person while in a relationship was when it devolved into something like that in OP’s pic. I guarantee you the moment someone marginally more interesting comes along she’ll lose interest because doing things alone while in the vicinity of someone constantly is basically no different than being single. Also something about his post feels like it’s not just sincere cute gushing about his gf but more some strange passive aggressive ‘haha my exes I found s… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 16/02/22 02:49 AM |
| 2 | What Do You Ladies Think Of The Following Films? | My boyfriend dislikes all of them, but I do find it a bit of a cOiNcIdEnCe that all of them ~happen to have~ female leadsI can't stand any of these movies, so I wouldn't assume your boyfriend hates them on the basis of them having female leads. Like seriously, the only thing they're good for is hate watching while you're drunk because of how absurdly, almost comically unintentionally bad they are. They remind me of The Room. How does he feel about three billboards? That one has a female lead but only an insane person (or a misogynist - same thing) would actively dislike it. What about olive Kitteridge (the same fe… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 15/02/22 01:26 PM |
| 26 | HV Traits I've Observed in men I know - basically a few real life illustrations of why you shouldn't settle.Man 2 is stunning. How did his gf and he meet? | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 15/02/22 01:04 PM |
| 40 | Feeling grateful that I’m not embarrassing myself this Valentine’s DayAlso “at least she still believes in the idea of a loving relationship” - are you implying that I don’t? I think she's implying that the sort of pick me she's talking about (the kind that competes with other women) doesn't. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 14/02/22 02:37 PM |
| 12 | Men will not compromise on their space and living arrangements just for being in a relationship. They can use the woman's place as their own when it suits them but not return the favour. Women who compromise for the men that don't, disrespect their own boundaries.Oh god this post has me all anxious and confused. Doesn't FDS say you're not supposed to move in with a boyfriend? Surely you can't solely hang out on dates outside with a boyfriend for like, years. What if you enjoy spending time with him at your place? What's a reasonable amount of time for a man to be over at your place if he doesn't live with you and isn't paying rent with you? | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 13/02/22 02:29 PM |
| 3 | Mistakes were made, let us count the ways…I still have a lot of sympathy for the daughter/don't really think she's morally culpable, but the dad is so scummy for fucking up not just one but two women's lives (i.e. whatever short term gf he happens to have and his daughter). Imagine seeing your daughter consistently react like this and instead of saying 'okay maybe I should slow down dating for a while' or 'maybe I should keep my dating affairs more private' you just keep throwing her into this mess. I wonder how he ended up getting cust… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 12/02/22 05:27 PM |
| 4 | Mistakes were made, let us count the ways…Holy shit, this poor kid. I guarantee you her dad's responsible for this (firstly, because no kid, even if they're a child of divorce, is that obsessed with finding a surrogate mom that they'd attach to some woman this strongly in just 9 months, and secondly, because her dad was apparently careless enough to introduce someone new into her life only to be completely 'oblivious' about what affect this has on her). | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 12/02/22 04:50 PM |
| 76 | Anyone wants to partner with a Scrote? I’m sure he’s 100% sincereThis is both hilarious and brilliant. Why don't people do this more often? If you can find the details you should 100% report this to his employer (assuming he even actually has one). | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 10/02/22 08:26 PM |
| 103 | Anyone wants to partner with a Scrote? I’m sure he’s 100% sincereI seriously doubt he was a real 'business exec' and just loosely interprets the term. He probably interprets managing a chilli's as being a 'business exec', so I doubt he'd be in your work circle, if it's any consolation. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 10/02/22 08:24 PM |
| 5 | Precautions for POC women while seeing/dating white menYou know how people sometimes say attachment styles are a 'spectrum'? If that's true, I've found pretty consistently that white people tend to be relatively more on the avoidant side and Indian people tend to be relatively more on the anxious side. I still do date white people (and sometimes you have to if you live in a predominantly white area and aren't down for LDRs), but it's worth noting that you'll save yourself a lot of headache if you try and sniff out the few white guys who lean at leas… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 10/02/22 02:13 PM |
| 12 | What are some signs someone's not over their ex?Now I’m currently dating someone who is approximately 11 months post breakup from a 6 year relationship. She dumped him. He says they never argued and basically felt blindsided. Oh god, this is exactly my current partner. He didn't have her stuff with him (that I know of) thankfully, but the fact that they stay hung up on women this long and can hide it throughout say a 13 year marriage is nauseating. I don't really buy that yours just didn't see his exes stuff (anything specific to my ex stands… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 10/02/22 04:55 AM |
| 86 | Precautions for POC women while seeing/dating white menOne thing I have noticed is to see how women from his own race think of him This is huge. I dated a white guy tech bro once an he coincidentally never dated a white woman before (but dated other brown woc) - now I know why. Sometimes I think white women know the ins and outs of white guy depravity more than woc. He did some shit that's utterly unheard of from Indian guys (and its not exactly like the latter are paragons of virtue themselves). I think whatever surprises you're in for are going to… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 10/02/22 04:11 AM |
| 27 | What are some signs someone's not over their ex?The word 'cool' as a descriptor for women immediately pisses me off (but not as much as 'nice' or 'kind'). | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 09/02/22 11:31 PM |
| 28 | What are some signs someone's not over their ex?I KNOW god only after that terrible excuse of a relationship do I realize that by constantly and openly spouting my opinions I basically gave (and I still haven't totally unlearned this) him all the tools to gaslight me and pretend he had far greater integrity than he did. It's tricky because, as usual FDS is spot on that men like using whatever sincere information you give them to manipulate you, but on the other, one wonders what the point of a romantic relationship even is if you can't be ope… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 09/02/22 11:24 PM |
| 36 | What are some signs someone's not over their ex?See the weird thing is at least your ex's actions were consistent with his non-existent principles - he doesn't see what the big deal is with cheating on your spouse and he turned out to be a shitty guy. Mine was outraged over the prospect and emotionally moved by the movie and still turned out to be an absurdly shitty guy. The only consistent thing about men is their complete callousness towards women. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 09/02/22 09:17 PM |
| 82 | There is hope!Honestly I'll be impressed when men start learning to care for other people and start taking their moral obligations to others seriously. It doesn't really surprise me that they'd be interested in mental health resources, since ultimately, it's in their own interests. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 09/02/22 08:43 PM |
| 13 | What are some signs someone's not over their ex?He liked it just because it was written/directed well and he thought it was tragic (which, once again, is very ironic). I'm glad the trash took itself out And good god, I am too. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 09/02/22 08:41 PM |
| 85 | What are some signs someone's not over their ex?Okay this is a little consoling and makes me less paranoid, at least. Half the time when I read posts about people's relationships going to shit on FDS I feel more confident in myself because the OP's post history reveals tons of red flags I could've caught - the other half of the time I get so damn anxious that I'm missing infinite more flags myself. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 09/02/22 06:59 PM |
| 59 | What are some signs someone's not over their ex?What I don't understand is why he wouldn't just wait until he found someone who looked like her, instead of latching on to you and trying to turn you into something you're not. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 09/02/22 06:57 PM |
| 90 | What are some signs someone's not over their ex?Oh god. My terrible NV ex and I watched that movie and he loved it and was so outraged over what the husband did to that wife. Then, maybe a year later, he told me he was a secret alcoholic and dumped me. I suppose his only virtue was that he didn't cheat on me, but evidently that didn't count for much anyway. They perpetually blindside you. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 09/02/22 06:56 PM |
| 128 | Disgusting Vday Giftswtf this is so strange. I always just associated Etsy with like crochet cat coasters and wedding invitations and shit. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 09/02/22 06:46 PM |
| 32 | Scrotes are really running out of excuses to shame women for their sexual livesYep. Literally everyone I knew who had a casual sex phase had it while recovering from a breakup when they were down pretty bad. They all insisted on the 'I've gotta explore' line and then ended up getting burned when they caught feelings for some guy who sexually exploited them. I don't really blame them - getting dumped makes people do all sorts of dumb shit, but it does really seem to be driven by low self esteem or a need for validation. I have to wonder how the people in this article measur… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 09/02/22 04:59 AM |
| 44 | Man After Breakup: A StudyThe good thing is at least in this situation he wore his chronic smoothbrainery on his sleeve - my worst fear is ending up with some guy who hides his obsession with his ex while dating me. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 08/02/22 02:25 AM |
| 123 | Man After Breakup: A StudyIt always strikes me as bizarre how loyal men are to women who dump them and how indifferent they are to women who date them, chase them, or stay committed to them. It’s almost like they want to be treated like shit - maybe because they know that’s all they deserve. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 07/02/22 10:24 PM |
| 35 | This is why you don't get an OnlyFans. Men that you know will happily buy the nudes to wank over you, and then go on right ahead to use that fact to stop you from getting a job. Male 'feminists' are evil, do NOT believe them when they say they are supportive of 'sex workers'.It’s not even just hypocritical, it’s full on irrational. Like, what do they think motivates women to participate in OF? It’s 1) money and 2) male validation. If they hate it so much just stop enabling these women by funding them. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 07/02/22 10:22 PM |
| 63 | This is why you don't get an OnlyFans. Men that you know will happily buy the nudes to wank over you, and then go on right ahead to use that fact to stop you from getting a job. Male 'feminists' are evil, do NOT believe them when they say they are supportive of 'sex workers'.Why is admitting to paying a prostitute acceptable and not fireable while having an OnlyFans yourself is? This makes no sense. He's at least as shitty of a 'representative' of the company as she is. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 07/02/22 08:29 PM |
| 15 | Husband “face fucks” pregnant wife for 45 minutes, gets verbally abusive when she wants an orgasm too; OP thinks it’s her fault for “not communicating”You lower the standard and that impacts so many women horribly God I think about this so much. The only way things will get better for women and the norm of women settling for men who are so much worse than them can be abolished is if women, as a collective, hold men, as a collective, to a higher standard. This doesn't just involve getting upset if they cat call or date rape people but looking at their entitlement and shitty attitudes within personal relationships, leaving the ones who exhibit t… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 07/02/22 03:35 PM |
| 60 | Husband “face fucks” pregnant wife for 45 minutes, gets verbally abusive when she wants an orgasm too; OP thinks it’s her fault for “not communicating”Yep - he came almost immediately from PIV, which makes me think it's not even physiologically that arousing for him. He just likes it because unlike PIV there's obviously nothing in it for her. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 07/02/22 03:06 PM |
| 8 | A Professor Wasted Her Time Interviewing 46 Men About Why They CheatBc they can keep on deliberately sabotaging their chances with women who are too good for them. Without little punishment. Without little fear at all. I think about this all the time. It's not even just sabotaging by cheating, they do it in all sorts of ways with abandon. Where's the justice in it? When they have endless resources and second, third, and fourth chances, when will they ever face the consequences? | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 06/02/22 03:18 PM |
| 196 | depressed by misogyny todayone of the reasons was that she listens to patients and family members all day so she will always listen compassionately to your problems I'm pretty sure they'd just get desensitized to people's problems because they're exposed to them all the time. Most doctors I've met don't really give a fuck about your problems and you can tell. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 05/02/22 04:28 PM |
| 5 | “I think about her as my daughter. I’m worried I might be physically attracted to her.”I have a little sympathy for pick mes who just have no backbone (e.g. ones who've been in abusive relationships but are too anxious to leave), but the problem is most pick mes don't just have no backbone, they also engage in absurd amounts of self delusion. Like these are the same people who get mad at women who try to give them the courage to stand up for themselves and concoct the most convoluted, nonsense, illogical narratives to justify doing insane shit. You see this the most with sex posit… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 05/02/22 03:11 PM |
| 2 | That's NOT a date. Stop romanticising no effort! Tired of seeing awkward couples looking uncomfortable at thrifts and parkslmao I didn't even notice that. FDS is awesome | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 05/02/22 03:08 PM |
| 108 | LVM f*cked around, found out.You rarely see the moms of scrotes be good feminists and stand up for women when their own son acts out. The fact that she did while that other daughter's own mom totally sold her out is insane to me. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 05/02/22 01:11 PM |
| 21 | Ladies, take care of yourself because no man ever will!bringing you soup/medicine is hardly on the level of physical labor like helping you paint your living room, or move I'm not sure why but something about doing the former strikes me as more touching than doing the latter. I had a LV ex who'd compulsively do stuff like the latter and everyone thought it was so great that he'd do so much around the house and help with stuff like that, but I'm fairly certain he did it because he was so emotionally closed off and downright weird with showing intimac… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 05/02/22 01:04 PM |
| 52 | LVM f*cked around, found out.You normally hear so many posts on FDS of women gaslighting themselves into staying into situations like this, which end up making you feel anxious and like there's no justice I think world. This one, though, makes me feel all warm and fuzzy, like those stories of factory farmed animals being rescued. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 05/02/22 12:55 PM |
| 24 | The audacity! Time to abandon or murder your pet, as all good women doAlso, I'm pretty sure liking horses or cats or animals in general is actually a better use of time than playing video games or sports. Like, the latter is entertaining and might foster some kinds of thinking skills, but so do most forms of entertainment, which are pretty easy to come by. The former, however, is better for being emotionally well rounded and enriched, being capable of bonding and caring for someone, and fostering empathy. Those skills are a lot harder to hone just because they req… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 05/02/22 04:29 AM |
| 8 | The audacity! Time to abandon or murder your pet, as all good women doGiven that relationships with animals can be at least as enriching and provide a sense of community and stability in much the same way as friendships with humans, I don't see why expecting your partner to give up their pet is any less creepy and controlling than expecting them to give up their social circle for you. Hell, I'm pretty sure I'd be more devastated if I lost my cat than if I lost touch with some of my friends. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 05/02/22 04:26 AM |
| 176 | You guysss 🤮🤮🥲 “Ugh- husband woke me up in middle of night for sex and it was gross”"uhhh because he's her husband and she cares about his feelings as she should Her husband of course doesn't need to care about her feelings (especially those induced by licking poopy ass) | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 04/02/22 06:21 PM |
| 86 | another quick vetting strategy: how a man views your job and work historypushing back against being an authority in the classroom, particularly evident with blue-collar men I lecture programming courses at a college and you get a lot of former blue collar guys who've finally realized that doing a lifetime of literally back breaking work with basically no job stability and very weak unions is probably a raw deal compared to white collar jobs you could get with a post-secondary degree. I have noticed this phenomenon invariably. Like, it's almost made me more classist a… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 04/02/22 06:05 PM |
| 263 | “Relationships are a mirror” - BS 🤡The thing that really convinced me of this was seeing just how many women on FDS had the exact same experiences as me with men. No, it's not somehow my fault that some guy was emotionally unavailable, couldn't articulate his mental states, and constantly needed 'space' while simultaneously taking advantage of whatever space he was given to lie and gaslight - this is a widespread male phenomenon. Self help bullshit should just be outright replaced by radical feminism, because a lot of these probl… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 04/02/22 05:54 PM |
| 71 | this is why we need to vet!How do men like this i.e. guys literally covered in skid marks even get enough women interested in them simultaneously to cheat? | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 04/02/22 01:30 AM |
| 156 | I love herIt's okay, she was just insulting his date location choices and not him :)))) | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 04/02/22 01:23 AM |
| 71 | Remember this post everytime you feel guilty dropping the guy over seemingly "small" issue. Men won't tolerate even 0.000001% of the crap they put us through.Honestly the joke was so overdone and annoying in the episode itself that I'd probably blow my brains out if I heard my partner say this all the time IRL. It's almost pickle-rick tier unfunny oh god this might be the first time I've ever sympathized with a scrote in an FDS post. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 04/02/22 01:16 AM |
| 42 | Cosby Documentary: "Sex Therapist" Sonalee Rashatwar Claims "Sex Negativity" Caused Cosby's RapesAlso, this man's depravity would NEVER be satisfied by paying a woman to do this consensually because his kink is RAPE. DUH. This is so funny to me for some reason. Everything about consensual non-consent is so absurd it's almost funny. It's like, idiocracy tier. Also I'm pretty sure Sonalee Rashatwar is a social worker. Can you imagine being in a vulnerable enough position to need a social worker, only to end up with this person changing the shape of your life and family dynamics? | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 04/02/22 01:11 AM |
| 70 | Men share their stories of when they treated women the worst.There's this, but I think in the case of some of these posts (e.g. the guy who dumped his gf of 5 years cause he started making more money or the guy who sexually exploited a high school girl and then called her gross) it, quite literally, is the majority of men. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 04/02/22 12:22 AM |
| 65 | Men share their stories of when they treated women the worst.God #4 is such a scumbag (okay they all are but that one struck me as especially annoying given the lack of remorse). Like, as if the difference between him marrying a woman and not is whether she'd fucking lend him a car. She's not being neurotic in thinking he'd leave if he got a high paying job because it turns out she was actually right. I hope he dies alone. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 04/02/22 12:18 AM |
| 14 | Don’t let family stop you from breaking the pickme cycle!!!Holy shit she literally made her daughter homeless in favour of a guy whose parents own the place he lives in. Like, at least his parents aren't leaving him on the streets the way she is to her own daughter. I'm surprised that under those conditions her daughter has the spine to realize she probably deserves a boyfriend who can do basic tasks on his own. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 03/02/22 03:16 PM |
| 28 | LVM manipulation tactic: slandering HVM friendsI think another reason they might do this is that they actually recognize that their friends are LV and don't want you questioning 'wait, why do you hang out with the kind of guy that screams at his gf? why haven't you said anything?' so they make a big show about how immoral they think it is to show you that they have moral sensibilities and hopefully lull you into not thinking more critically about why this guy chooses to hang out with such LV people and feels no sense of guilt over it. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 03/02/22 03:10 PM |
| 147 | Does anybody else get tired of fake women's posts undoubtedly written by men?because in her culture everything is 50/50 Is this even true?? Plenty of my asian friends just expected 'traditional' stuff out of their boyfriends (e.g. paying for dates, their partners earning more etc.). I mean, they judged me (rightly so) for not really paying attention to how much a guy makes before deciding to date him. Like, this LARP would really only make sense if the readers have never met an asian girl before (which tbh I could see of most guys on reddit). | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 03/02/22 02:56 PM |
| 130 | Does anybody else get tired of fake women's posts undoubtedly written by men?What made me eyeroll were the posts that the only time men get flowers is at their funeral These days I think this is true for women too. I don't know a single woman below the age of 30 who gets flowers from their partner (mine asked me the first time we dated, super hesitantly, if he should get me some, since it's so normalized that you just don't for some reason). The kicker though, is that on top of not getting flowers except at their funerals, women also often end up having those funerals be… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 03/02/22 02:54 PM |
| 361 | Does anybody else get tired of fake women's posts undoubtedly written by men?I perversely kind of like them. Like, it implies they get so enraged they actually take the time out of their day to concoct some random story to support their grand political project of saving men $15 on dates or something. I'm still stuck in that 'it's funny if I make people mad on the internet' phase that started when I was maybe 13, so I find it strangely satisfying. Also, I think I actually found FDS from some post on another sub in which people were complaining about it, so the whole 'more… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 03/02/22 02:51 PM |
| 49 | There would be so many cockroaches with J namesI had the same thought. I'm pretty sure cockroaches are pretty pro-social and males actually put a lot of effort into courting females, so in that sense they're actually way better than human men. They're also pretty hardy and can tolerate a wide range of living conditions, unlike human men who basically capitulate and die if their girlfriend asks them to spend time with them, doesn't want to have sex with them, or expects them to talk to their child every now and then. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 03/02/22 02:20 PM |
| 3 | how have you changed in the way you deal with friends?I think different generations present pick me impulses in different ways. People in younger generations often do it via sex positive liberal feminism while I think older ones do it by perpetuating mainstream beauty norms (eg making comments about their daughter’s unshaven legs) | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 02/02/22 10:01 PM |
| 35 | How heartbreaking, talk about long con on the husband’s part!This fact and the fact that men die earlier and are sadder when they're single help me sleep at night. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 02/02/22 08:17 PM |
| 197 | How heartbreaking, talk about long con on the husband’s part!Most of my women friends tend to hang on too long in shitty relationships, sacrifice too much, and cling, but once the relationships end (they're often the ones who end up being dumped) and they have time to get over it, they actually are over it. Despite ostensibly lovingly their exes more than they were loved in those crappy relationships, they don't long for them or think about them or compare their new partners to them, we all just look at them as these unfortunate mistakes, not unlike their… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 02/02/22 02:28 PM |
| 457 | How heartbreaking, talk about long con on the husband’s part!What I don't get is if he was that obsessed with this woman, why didn't he just stay in a LDR with her? It's also insane to me that men can long after women who broke up with them while discarding ones who invest all the insane shit that comes with marriage into them. Like, they constantly get real love and devotion delivered to them on a platter while completely disregarding its value, while women do all sorts of absurd pick me shit just to get a scrap of something similar back. It's a tragedy.… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 02/02/22 02:05 PM |
| 16 | My friend says "I don't like men that are kind to me, they're boring, I like my men a little bit toxic" how to respond to her? She keeps ending up with trashy men, and when they use and discard her I'm the first person she comes running to and I'm sick of it😩I wish there was a law that every time you were right about some guy after your friend hits you with an 'i want him so bad aha', they have to buy you lunch or something. I'd have soooo many free lunches. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 02/02/22 01:54 PM |
| 22 | I think he told on himselfAnd he does know because he's done it before, but he's always made me feel like I was the one overstepping by not "allowing" him space to cool down. God this was so something that alcoholic ex of mine pulled. It's avoidant af (in fact his therapist actually said he had attachment issues of that variety too). Here's something crucial I wish I knew while dating him: for once, 'not all men' actually does apply. Like, I'm in a relationship with someone new and not only does he not do the 'cooling of… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 01/02/22 05:46 PM |
| 89 | I think he told on himselfAgreed. She begged because she loved him authentically and because he used that love to coerce her into submission on threat of him leaving. Obviously she should leave and in time she'll realize just how emotionally manipulative and misogynistic he is, but I don't really blame her for struggling now. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 01/02/22 01:30 PM |
| 97 | I think he told on himselfAt first I thought, maybe he meant that literally, in that I do think most men ostensibly like submissiveness in women, but with a massive caveat: they get bored of submissive women and end up just cheating on them or openly insulting them, while they enjoy breaking down apparently dominant women into being submissive before then fucking their lives up in similar ways. Alternatively maybe he was trying to set himself apart by arguing about how shitty other men are (which is manipulative too, but… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 01/02/22 01:15 PM |
| 252 | Reasons I changed my mind on having children and all the aspects of motherhood society does not want to acknowledge:There have been many women in this subreddit who have spoken about all the challenges of pregnancy which they were not aware of prior to giving birth, as it was purposely downplayed and concealed. This is just a minor point, but I see an endocrinologist because of hormone-induced insomnia (he was actually the only person who managed to fix it too instead of just constantly telling me to drink glasses of milk and practice sleep hygiene). Bipolar runs all over the place in my family and while I do… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 01/02/22 01:11 AM |
| 16 | The way deadbeat fathers victimise themselves is wild.Do you think your mom had any red flags about this behaviour before marrying him? This kind of stuff terrifies me. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 01/02/22 12:12 AM |
| 125 | 'Strong evidence' links pandemic job losses and new victims of domestic violenceAn excerpt from the article: 'Women who were the breadwinners in their relationship were 1.7 times more likely to experience physical violence, 1.6 times more likely to experience sexual violence, and 1.5 times more likely to experience emotionally abusive violence than women whose partner earned the same or more.' | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 31/01/22 01:19 PM |
| 8 | As a psychologist, I think something we need to do is stop using men’s mental health as an excuse for their asshole/disrespectful behaviorOne of her comments on that thread: "Really? I wasn't sure. Other posts make it seem normal that "men will look and it doesn't mean anything" I don't really know what's right anymore. I blamed the ADHD for following women like puppies... again made this post because I wasn't sure. The negging definitely broke me." This is so sad. The whole libfem 'normalize every form of depravity' shtick is responsible for so many women gaslighting themselves into tolerating the most absurd circumstances. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 31/01/22 05:25 AM |
| 9 | This poor woman thinks this is funny 😳Some freebase copium from the OP of that post: I work in and post about a male-dominated field. Sorry if that offends you. I've also made plenty of comments about how much that field sucks to work in as a woman. But go off, sis. I'm sorry :( It's important to have compatible senses of humor with your partner. I can see how some people might find it trashy or insulting, but they're probably boring and uptight. Which is fine if that's what you want, but then they become so bitter that no one w… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 31/01/22 03:24 AM |
| 12 | In the Spirit of Valentine's Day..So they think we'll do the same. They loathe complimenting us and making us feel good and cherished because we'll start plotting to leave them, they know they ain't shit. My friend's LVM partner always (at best) negs or (at worst) insults her and he actually straight up explicitly told her this. He said she shouldn't compliment him so much since it'll give him too much of an ego boost. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 31/01/22 02:30 AM |
| 67 | Your male friends WILL masturbate to you, and it’s not their fault. Here you have it Queens, If you are friends with men, they will masturbate to you, because they can, and because it’s private, and none of your business.My friend's shitty ex told her he masturbated to women's pictures in the department we worked at. He eventually became an ex because it turns out he cheated on her constantly throughout the relationship - what a surprise | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 29/01/22 03:03 PM |
| 1 | Men Abuse Women Who They Perceive to be BETTER THAN THEMAnd I do believe we all need to be outspoken - but women need to approach it like a war strategist - you know when to attack, you know when to step back It's just this part that sort of gives off that vibe. Women don't need to ever know when to step back from being outspoken within a relationship, they just need to know when to break up altogether if there are any 'consequences' for being outspoken | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 29/01/22 08:51 AM |
| 9 | Documentary of Hobosexual and other elderly scrotes, they never stop...I saw this a long time ago and forgot what it was called, but specifically that melancholic woman and her strange, demented, drug addicted husband stuck with me. Like, I'd think about her randomly while washing the dishes and stuff. The worst part was she was so eloquent and insightful and aged insanely well and the only reason she was stuck with this atrophied husk of a husband is because she was committed to marriage (which, in a way is a kind of virtue, albeit one that routinely only women ad… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 28/01/22 06:34 PM |
| 19 | Marriage is not an accomplishment. Focus on leveling up!I think the solution here is to start conditioning boys to aspire to marriage as well. Imagine the kind of familial stability and love that'd ensue if men contributed to marriages and families the way women did. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 28/01/22 06:31 PM |
| 51 | what do you all think about familiarities? I DESPISE them!On the surface I just find them very, very cringe, but if I tried to articulate why I think it's because it's dehumanizing. Women already have trouble being seen as individuals with their own personalities, thoughts, and interests, such that being given a generic name like 'babe' or 'sweetie' that every other woman is called just gives off bad vibes. Also some of them ('hon' 'sweetie') give off mom vibes and 'babe' just gives off lecherous man vibes. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 28/01/22 05:44 PM |
| 16 | [deleted by user]Same. I've followed people on here just so I could remember their usernames since their posts are consistently really good, but it's not like reddit actually highlights their posts for me or shows me more of them or anything, so I'm not sure what the point is other than to maybe just have a list of names stored somewhere of people whose content you usually like. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 28/01/22 05:38 PM |
| 39 | Pays 40K for his gambling addiction or his incompetence (dunno which is worse)lmao at him getting angry about it. The funny thing is actual traders always go on and on about staying emotionally even keeled in the face of big gains or losses, yet OP's husband is obviously too much of a coward to do so. Also, you should never lose that much of your portfolio because of position sizing and trailing stop losses, which is just basic shit any wanna-be trader would know. The only thing more pathetic than a scrote who needs his girlfriend's money to pursue some ambition is a scro… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 28/01/22 04:02 PM |
| 24 | This made me so sad. This woman has to watch her mother be abused by an LVM. 🥲My grandmother grew up in a mega patriarchal situation, like the OP's (although she did have an undergraduate degree in English). She is super reasonable, emotionally stable, and easy to talk to, but her husband was an aggressive scrote. She had the same response as OP's mom and urged my mom to be financially independent and assertive. My mom ended up becoming those things, but her inner pick me still defends her dad (he also died early and suddenly of malaria so I'm not sure if it's some kind o… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 28/01/22 03:56 PM |
| 14 | On "Roasting"My best friend's current shitty boyfriend (she's on the verge of dumping him and just needs a gentle push) started off 'roasting' her but now just straight up openly insults her. The other day he said my friend reminded him of his sister. She was like 'ya haha we're like the same person sometimes' and he's like 'ya but I think she's cooler'. Like, what even is that? It's not a neg, it's not clever banter, it's not a compliment with a little spice, it's just an insult?? | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 28/01/22 03:47 PM |
| 16 | I dumped the guy I was vetting over the birthday gift I received 🍪the burden is on you to make it crystal clear what your boundaries and preferences are, but at the exact right volume and the exact right tone And then to top it all off there is no exact right volume or tone. The mere articulation (and importantly enforcement) of the boundary itself is enough to send them into convulsions of fear or a deep. deep depression. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 28/01/22 02:57 PM |
| 23 | I dumped the guy I was vetting over the birthday gift I received 🍪Someone made a post about that sort of question yesterday and it's actually so manipulative. If you say no, they'll happily follow through and you'll suddenly find yourself dating a guy who doesn't bother celebrating your birthday. If you say yes, you've basically just asked your partner to get a gift for you which kind of ruins the entire sentiment. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 28/01/22 02:55 PM |
| 95 | Play stupid games, win stupid prizesSorry - I got rid of the part of my post you were replying to since I suppose it was semi-answered in the OP since he said he had to stay with the baby since his 25 year old grooming victim 'wasn't a good mother' (no fucking shit she's 25). I love that his kids (who have a remarkable degree of moral integrity for being raised by a dad with such little himself) hate him. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 27/01/22 01:07 AM |
| 257 | Play stupid games, win stupid prizesIt's insane to me that his wife's parents were smart enough to have the foresight to put the house in their name when they got married and that his wife herself was smart enough to earn a $150k salary and yet she still ended up with this utter smoothbrained bottom feeder. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 27/01/22 12:51 AM |
| 15 | Valentine’s Day Has Always Been the Saddest Year of the Time For MeThe opposite of love isn't hate, it's not caring I don't really buy this. If a stranger hit you with your car and you were pissed about it and used your anger to embroil them in a lawsuit or something, that'd seem reasonable, right? It's not like you 'love' them because you hate them and accordingly care about them (to the extent that you care that they face justice). I don't see why shitty exes are any different. If a person wrongs you they wronged you - that fact doesn't change whether they're… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 26/01/22 08:27 PM |
| 36 | Valentine’s Day Has Always Been the Saddest Year of the Time For MeIt’s a lose-lose situation. If I didn’t let him go then, I’d come off as the clingy gf, and if he went then I’d be alone for Valentine’s Day. Honestly I think when you're caught in a bind like this 'clingy gf' is always the way to go. The only people who complain about clinginess are people who don't love you, so they'll hopefully fuck off and let you find someone else if you are open with your 'clinginess'. Obviously just listening to FDS and dumping them is the ideal thing, but being 'clingy' … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 26/01/22 08:21 PM |
| 30 | Being single protects men from drama and politics, ladies. Leave them alone.There's so much copium oozing from these pictures I think I'm gonna pass out. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 26/01/22 08:20 PM |
| 10 | A forever girlfriend I metIt's that perpetual victim complex hardwired into scrotes I had an ex (who I dated for 6 years) who claimed I was scary. When I asked him why he said it was because I talk too fast (completely serious). They'll really grasp at anything. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 26/01/22 02:57 PM |
| 156 | Woman goes on Judge Steve Harvey to “sue” fiancé of 15+ years for not marrying her.I'm pretty sure Steve Harvey's generally made up/he doesn't have an actual law degree etc. etc. but I honestly think if women could hold men liable in court for their many, many relationship crimes (e.g. making women their forever gfs, ghosting them, walking out on them and their families, cheating, not contributing financially or emotionally etc.) that'd be pretty sweet. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 26/01/22 04:45 AM |
| 96 | A forever girlfriend I metSomething about the emptiness and regret in his eyes stuck out like a sore thumb. His reasons being that she bullied him. In what possible world could she have bullied him if she was willing to have two of his children without even a marriage? The worst part about men who complain about this is they gaslight women into somehow having even less expectations after they dump them. FDS really is the only thing out there (and maybe 1970s radfem literature) that actually looks out for women. Stories l… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 26/01/22 04:12 AM |
| 58 | Trust your feelings and the strategyI think it’s important to have them as casual conversations because if it seemed like a make or break conversation, he would have tailored his thoughts to make me stay. This has always been the biggest issue in my relationships and I still have trouble stopping this from happening. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 25/01/22 05:47 PM |
| 57 | Trust your feelings and the strategyHe wanted us to keep going until those issues arose (career change, moving, differences in beliefs. etc). After hearing that and considering my own feelings, I decided to end it. This was honestly a really good idea. The only time I've ever been purposefully wishy washy about some future thing was because I knew the person I was talking to wouldn't like the real answer (I did it with my mom constantly). I mean don't get me wrong, even if he did give you a concrete answer he could've been future … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 25/01/22 05:44 PM |
| 172 | Porn ruins menGod I hope his wife finds FDS somehow and never gets coerced into doing any of this shit. The constant comparing to his exes (why are they exes? Either they dumped him, likely because of how fucking demanding and petulant he is, or he dumped them for reasons that mysteriously never into his comparisons with the mother of his child) somehow offends me more than his desperate need to recreate porn IRL. Like, he legitimately thinks that just because he married this person he's somehow entitled to a… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 25/01/22 05:03 PM |
| 21 | Pickmes really need to shape up and get a clue 🤢God the comment replying to her is so infuriatingly self important. Like you can tell she thinks she poops gold because she can't orgasm and she likes men who can't orgasm and that...somehow...is sex positive? | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 24/01/22 10:47 PM |
| 20 | Apple AirTag: a perfect tool for stalkingDamn it's pretty cool that Apple at least had the foresight to see this coming and wrote these notifications in. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 24/01/22 03:19 PM |
| 35 | Ladies, have you noticed any trends of men who chose arranged marriages vs. leveling themselves up to be independent of the patriarchal culture?I think they then are disappointed to find themselves with an actual human rather than a submissive little lady to cater to their whim.The recent news about mariatal rape legislation causing men to boycott marriage also tells me a lot about why men would choose arranged marriage. Why improve yourself to attract women when you can marry and use one instead... I don't think this is necessarily true, since plenty of upper middle class Indians who grew up in the west (e.g. doctors, lawyers, investme… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 24/01/22 12:21 PM |
| 39 | Ladies, have you noticed any trends of men who chose arranged marriages vs. leveling themselves up to be independent of the patriarchal culture?Typically people (not just men but women as well) opt for it because there's a lot of familial pressure. It's hard to describe, but for a lot of people they'd legitimately never be able to speak to their parents or siblings again if they didn't do it. Arranged marriages typically aren't fully arranged either - it's more that your parents introduce you to someone who they approve of (owing to their family/career etc.) and you date them for a while before deciding to get married. In that sense, it… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 24/01/22 12:14 PM |
| 232 | Are men seriously trying to normalize erectile dysfunction now??? 😬😬My ex used to watch porn and had ED. I stopped having sex with him for the last 3-4 years of the relationship because of it. He was the only partner I had at the time, so I thought it might've at least been semi normal or common. Then after sleeping with my current partner who doesn't watch porn I realized that it was highly, highly unusual. Like their dicks are so fucking different and I can't believe porn could make such a difference to how functional a person's dick is. It's like, whether you… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 23/01/22 09:16 PM |
| 10 | Men Abuse Women Who They Perceive to be BETTER THAN THEMAnd I do believe we all need to be outspoken - but women need to approach it like a war strategist - you know when to attack, you know when to step back, you have full control on how people perceive you and know when to play at being looked up to, and when to play being underestimated. There is power in moving in silence, and keep all necessary secret close to heart. I don't really think the solution should be 'date LVM and know when to be quiet so they don't beat you' but instead to just not as… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 23/01/22 08:51 PM |
| 16 | Scrote is mad that his date has standardsIf men in their late 20s and 30s aren't financially ready to get married then women shouldn't be dating them, because if they want kids they can't just conform to some forever-manchild's timeline. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 23/01/22 08:37 PM |
| 4 | If you needed another reason to avoid hiking with men. This older man was posting looking for a "female hiking partner," but at first seemed well-mannered and talked about mutual hobbies. Then this happened... I am assuming he's a predator luring women into the woods.Once I was giving away free cat food on this second hand website since it was going to expire soon. This guy dropped by and picked them up and left. Then a year later I received a message from him saying he'd been a secret admirer and was debating messaging me on one of my other ads. It initially started off nice if only a little weird, but then devolved into this weird sexual stuff about my legs (I was wearing a full-sleeved robe that went down to my knees). It was so weird, because the transac… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 23/01/22 08:31 PM |
| 4 | Ladies please don’t do this. You deserve your dream ring!Which subreddit was this? I don't even know why people would dislike that phrase, because it's pretty fucking obvious once you remove the clown makeup. Like, why wouldn't he if he wanted to? Men just do whatever they want in pretty much every other domain. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 23/01/22 07:53 PM |
| 13 | Makeup: How do you ladies do it?- I mean, how do you do it, how do you reconcile slathering your face and body with products that have direct associations with the beauty industry I don't. I don't wear makeup on feminist grounds and even though I know a ton of strong, self assured women who do, I do think that when women wear makeup it's a kind of subservience to patriarchy. I also think a lot of women are afraid of what will happen if they stop wearing it (what if they get comments from people? what if they have trouble findi… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 23/01/22 06:39 PM |
| 37 | I asked my boyfriend what he would do if I decided to keep the baby - was his answer a red flag?What the actual fuck? This guy literally wants to give his own baby a facial the moment they're born. FDS has a lot of pretty dark relationship stories but the ones associated with pregnant women and baby trapping creep me out the most. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 23/01/22 05:15 PM |
| 7 | Steve from Sex and the City is what happens when you settleBut trying to be the Cool Girl, she let him orbit some more. This is just a minor interpretive point but I don't actually think her choice to let him orbit more is driven by a need to be the cool girl. I think when women do this it's more that they're afraid of being alone. On the one had her gut told her she could do better, but on the other, she might be worried that she'll never find someone better, that she'll never find someone who loves her as much, or that maybe Steve's actually not that … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 21/01/22 05:18 PM |
| 14 | Lol you thought this would make us mad? Dude, we already know that this is what 99% of male lurkers are doing. You want a HVW w/standards. That’s why you’re here. That’s why you send us hate. Any interaction with us turns you on. Y’all need to stop acting like we are undesirable 😂If you're a decent human who doesn't do the above, WE DON'T TALK ABOUT YOU In that poster's defence, I suppose this does mean we are talking about him, at least. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 21/01/22 04:14 PM |
| 9 | Lol you thought this would make us mad? Dude, we already know that this is what 99% of male lurkers are doing. You want a HVW w/standards. That’s why you’re here. That’s why you send us hate. Any interaction with us turns you on. Y’all need to stop acting like we are undesirable 😂I love how just being like 'please don't cheat on me and please get a job' basically turns a woman into a full blown dominatrix. The absolute state of patriarchy. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 21/01/22 04:13 PM |
| 2 | I Regret my Plastic Surgery: The Impact of the Patriarchy & LVM FathersI think it depends on how you're conceiving of degrees. A lifetime of applying makeup, spending money on makeup, and learning about makeup seems, in a sense, like an even greater commitment than plastic surgery. Plastic surgery might permanently alter how you look but wearing makeup inculcates a lifelong habit - it permanently alters what you do and the shape of your life itself. I also think you could probably differentiate between makeup and things like hair colours since non-natural hair colo… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 20/01/22 09:49 PM |
| 5 | I Regret my Plastic Surgery: The Impact of the Patriarchy & LVM FathersMakeup can wash off though The reason plastic surgery is problematic and OP is upset about it is that she thinks she did it for men and the choice to invest in it was driven by the impulse to appeal to men. For many women, the same holds true for makeup. The badness of plastic surgery isn't merely or even predominantly in its permanence but instead in who it's done for. It doesn’t require your face to be sliced up by a male surgeonIt’s non invasive in that way It does require other sacrifices on… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 20/01/22 04:53 PM |
| 1 | Strangest icks and dealbreaker?Treating being into fitness like a personality trait Treating liking sports like a personality trait Being into any combination of crypto, programming, or entrepreneurship Not smiling often or looking sleepy or disinterested all the time Not liking cats or not really having a strong impulse for finding objectively cute things cute Recycling the same anecdotes or jokes in various different domains or social contexts Anyone who describes themselves as having a "high libido" | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 20/01/22 02:19 PM |
| 8 | Strangest icks and dealbreaker?Crypto bros are the absolute worst because they've got the egos of standard finance bros but without any of the requisite background knowledge or skill. Like, all their gains are pure luck because crypto's entirely speculative. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 20/01/22 02:09 PM |
| 1 | Strangest icks and dealbreaker?WHAT THE FUCK is this some gingivitis thing? Can someone's oral hygiene be so bad that other people can taste it? I don't want to live in a world where anyone has experienced this. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 20/01/22 02:06 PM |
| 4 | Strangest icks and dealbreaker?Men whose voices are overly monotonous or who sound or look perpetually sleepy or disinterested piss me off to no end. Like, the only time you should sound like this is maybe if you're baked out of your mind, but otherwise this basically just makes it seem like you've gone through a full-frontal lobotomy. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 20/01/22 02:04 PM |
| 5 | Strangest icks and dealbreaker?I've seen a few people IRL with the white crusty shit thing but I never assumed those were the kinds of people who could date anyone. The prospect of any human getting near that with their mouth seems like a human rights violation to me. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 20/01/22 02:01 PM |
| 15 | I Regret my Plastic Surgery: The Impact of the Patriarchy & LVM FathersTo be fair, I don't think plastic surgery is that different than wearing makeup and tons of women do the latter while also insisting that they're doing it for themselves. I suppose this is meant to be consoling only because I don't think your choice to participate in plastic surgery or inability to recognize that it wasn't really for yourself is some unique, massive character flaw specific to you, but is actually very very common. The important thing is that now you can tell the difference betwe… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 20/01/22 01:52 PM |
| 8 | We have to stop putting up with this shit 🤡Oh how surprising she believes him about his ex's 'mental and physical abuse'. I'm almost pumped for when he monkey branches from her to someone else over her 'mental and physical abuse' too. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 20/01/22 05:39 AM |
| 18 | The Inverse Relationship Between Financial Maturity and Marriage DesirabilityI would consider a traditional relationship with someone who has my level of education & then some, and a higher earning potential, and an ironclad prenup in my favour... but as I've got a dual doctorate, I highly doubt I'll be able to find that. I'm in a pretty similar situation and it's a conundrum. On the one hand, OP's view is pretty spot on and there really isn't much in marriage for you if you're a lot wealthier than your partner. On the other hand, I do want kids and there are all those r… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 20/01/22 05:13 AM |
| 12 | Men Can Now Respond Directly to The Female Dating Strategy Podcast!I assumed they weren't planning on actually listening to or addressing anything they send in (which is hilarious and a great idea). | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 19/01/22 05:34 AM |
| 287 | How to reconcile with the fact that my brother doesn't support the FDS strategies, although he is an HVM?It sounds like he just respects his gf and doesn't respect you. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 17/01/22 04:38 PM |
| 3 | Pickme rewards her husband with a blowjob after he's been sexually absent and mainly being intimate IN HIS DREAMS 😔Imagine being a man telling a woman that he better understands how women think. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 16/01/22 07:47 PM |
| 3 | Pickme rewards her husband with a blowjob after he's been sexually absent and mainly being intimate IN HIS DREAMS 😔If it makes you feel any better I think the only men who would respond like this (i.e. the majority) are LV. I think a HV person has their own sense of integrity, which would stand independent of whatever shit is normalized in the culture in which they're situated. Treating women with basic respect is like any other virtuous or moral behaviour - if you're truly moral, you'll do the right thing regardless of how immoral everyone else is around you. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 16/01/22 07:29 PM |
| 6 | Pickme rewards her husband with a blowjob after he's been sexually absent and mainly being intimate IN HIS DREAMS 😔The 'well played X, well played' thing is one of those regurgitated reddit expressions people beat to death, so it's possible OP was a woman just mimicking the e-scrotes around her, but on the other hand, you've got to be pretty lost in the pick me sauce to get this excited over someone dreaming about cumming on your face. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 16/01/22 07:24 PM |
| 3 | Vetting Strategy: Ask a man how he feels about his sexual health.For what it's worth (since sometimes knowing other people share some standard makes me feel less strange about holding it myself) this would definitely be a deal breaker for me too. You also don't really know the full story behind how he got it (why was he interested in the kind of woman who not only cheats but cheats with people who have herpes?) and in general you could be associating with people who've never been near an STI, so why bother? | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 16/01/22 05:53 AM |
| 2 | Vetting Strategy: Ask a man how he feels about his sexual health.I'm not sure if it's like this in the US but in Canada they only return your results for an STI test if you come up with something positive. Isn't that so fishy? That means you can't actually verify that someone got tested since basically 'they didn't call me back' is supposed to suffice for being clean. It's strange to me that our medical system didn't realize what a problem this would be. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 16/01/22 05:51 AM |
| 127 | Women’s Universal ExperienceMy friend's ex used to basically jackhammer away and she'd always complain that he's too rough (for some reason he just fervently believed that women liked having their cervix hit??). He'd literally disagree with her while doing it and claim that previous women he slept with 'liked' it. Like, they 100% were faking orgasms and he'd rather believe their fake orgasms than listen to what his actual gf says she likes in the literal moment. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 15/01/22 04:24 PM |
| 68 | We are living in a clown world 🤡It could be cultural. Indian families (though I highly doubt OP's family is Indian since they'd lose their minds at the very notion of polyamory to begin with) typically treat family money as communal and it goes both ways - families often invest in property together, bail each other out (if necessary), and generally share major assets. There's nothing intrinsically wrong with this, especially if everyone's trustworthy, and it can actually maximize people's net worth. If, for example, your paren… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 15/01/22 04:10 PM |
| 34 | Guy is sexist and racist, shocked that makes him an assholeI'm so confused how is he making fun of someone's intelligence who's getting a PhD while he's getting a BSc and had to repeat classes? Isn't this kind of a self own? | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 15/01/22 03:22 PM |
| 23 | Creating a new feminist theory. However, I think modern feminism kind of plays into the patriarchy’s hands by defending sex work and abuse porn. I want to write about how the sex industry is harmful towards women, but I’m not sure if my prof will go “oh, but we can’t control women’s bodies 🤢 This isn't really a new feminist theory as much as radical feminism (the theory that preceded liberal feminism/sex posi stuff). Check out this article (by a pretty well-known contemporary academic feminist philosopher) for more on how ra… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 14/01/22 04:32 PM |
| 4 | What I hate most about reddit.https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ecGUnX57rDg This guy's pretty funny but I'm fairly certain he's gay. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 14/01/22 04:28 AM |
| 9 | What I hate most about reddit.Have you tried reporting it? I'd imagine if a bunch of people reported it they'd just automatically take it down. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 14/01/22 04:24 AM |
| 26 | What I hate most about reddit.For all the bitching men do about Amy Schumer's 'my vagina' jokes think of the sheer number of male comedians whose entire shtick centres on their dick and their inability to have good sex. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 14/01/22 04:18 AM |
| 26 | What I hate most about reddit."your vagina can prolapse too why aren't you worried about that?" This person has clearly never been inside either a vagina or an asshole. Also, what subreddit was this post on? | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 14/01/22 04:15 AM |
| 11 | What I hate most about reddit.Reddit jokes are so unfunny, like it's not even just because they're offensive or anything (because sometimes they aren't), it's just that they're unfunny across the board. The problem with reddit is most Redditors (especially the ones who post on front page subreddits) just steal jokes from other people and recycle them perpetually. It's so low IQ and uncreative. I mean there's a reason cringey expressions like 'doggo' and 'pupper' and 'why does the narwhal bacon' and 'thanks for the updoots ki… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 14/01/22 04:11 AM |
| 51 | Non-fatal strangulation is an important risk factor for homicide of womenI wish these studies would explicitly indicate whether they were talking about strangulation in sexual contexts, non-sexual contexts, or both. I can imagine BDSM people discounting them by taking them to be discussing exclusively non-sexual strangulation, since the whole premise behind BDSM is that if something's done while someone is horny it somehow loses its moral wrongness. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 13/01/22 05:49 PM |
| 29 | Insecure Men Will Destroy Relationships- "you still talk to your exes!" To be fair still talking to exes is just classic LV shit - we shouldn't expect it of men and we shouldn't do it ourselves. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 13/01/22 05:34 PM |
| 5 | why YOU have a belly, but influencers DON'T (feel like women need to hear this more often. were expected to have certain kind of body when biologically our bodies are not made to be that way)I have a friend who's super skinny but she eats McDonalds all the time. Whenever we go to restaurants though she never finishes her food and basically said she 'hates eating because the feeling of textures and the aftertaste in her mouth is gross'. She basically doesn't eat very much at all but when she does eat it's terrible food. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 12/01/22 04:32 PM |
| 49 | Have you noticed there are more snoring men than women?All of the partners I've had have slept in separate bedrooms (even during the honeymoon phase) since they all snored and I'm an insanely light sleeper. People think this is such an insane thing to do and I have no idea why - it's not like we don't have sex (which is all people care about when it comes to women in relationships anyway) and we can both sleep normally. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 11/01/22 04:01 PM |
| 86 | "When can I do 50/50 with a man?" - How about NEVER?This is grotesque. The whole point of maternity leave is that they've fucked up their bodies (and not equally across the partnership - just theirs) so they need time off from working. Maternity leave is probably the least controversial time to avoid going 50/50. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 10/01/22 07:45 PM |
| 19 | how many have ever met a HVM living single by choice, and doing well?Fwiw, even my close male friendships are in the 2nd tier of my inner circle outside my family and close female friendships. Friendships aren’t created equal Same here. I suppose if my partner had an analogous female friendship (though likely not one with an ex) it wouldn't be particularly concerning. The problem with exes is you do have a shared history of intimacy with them, so even if you aren't broken up the nature of the relationship can never really be exactly like casual friendships we mig… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 10/01/22 07:25 PM |
| 53 | how many have ever met a HVM living single by choice, and doing well?he had parted as friends with all the women he had dated (which impressed me, he was one of the kindest people I've ever met); many of those women he stayed in contact with as a friend; This seems kind of strange since I could see a lot of people basically using this as grounds to stay hung up on exes or to triangulate their partner with exes (not that I'm saying this happened in your case, but I think generally the perception that it's a good thing to think positively of your exes or to stay in… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 10/01/22 05:04 PM |
| 5 | how many have ever met a HVM living single by choice, and doing well?The hooking up seems like a red flag to me (any man who wants to hook up has a fishy sort of psychology, I think). | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 10/01/22 05:02 PM |
| 43 | A man rant from a main sub... he admits right at the beginning he moved her in ASAP as a nurse and a purse. His complaints about her are extremely mild and every comment is telling him to dump her 🤣He said she knowingly went around with someone who could've been exposed without safety measures. Being flippant about COVID is super LV to me, regardless of who does it. The fact that he moved her in to basically deal with his seizures though is super opportunistic and scummy. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 09/01/22 04:22 PM |
| 61 | A man rant from a main sub... he admits right at the beginning he moved her in ASAP as a nurse and a purse. His complaints about her are extremely mild and every comment is telling him to dump her 🤣Yeah number 4 seemed like the only genuinely bad thing here, I'd lose my shit if a man gave me COVID or fucked with my sleep. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 09/01/22 04:21 PM |
| 29 | What to do?Therapy likely would just give him a chance to gaslight her further. Therapy helps with things like mutual grief, genuine mental illness etc. It helps with issues in which both partners have roughly the same power and want to make the relationship work. OP's situation, however, involves someone with such severe antisocial tendencies that he's willing to gaslight his partner for over a year and a major power imbalance. She should be seeing a divorce lawyer instead. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 09/01/22 04:18 PM |
| 15 | What to do?I think /u/GeorgiaPeach_94 was emphasizing that he was the one who's in the wrong and responsible for the lack of communication ('you two aren't communicating' implies it's somehow both of their faults). To the extent that OP isn't at fault here, it doesn't amount to the same thing. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 09/01/22 04:14 PM |
| 20 | Gaslighting women into staying with LVMIf you have to do everything nice for yourself by yourself, and also do everything around the house yourself, what do you need a BF/husband for? This is actually such an obvious point that never became salient to me until FDS. The cultural brainwashing is astounding. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 08/01/22 09:12 PM |
| 13 | Gaslighting women into staying with LVMThis exact same brand of man is typically lives in a box of a house that's completely absent of any decor and basically lives off of takeout pizza. It's funny because they're also always perpetually 'depressed' - hmm, I wonder why. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 08/01/22 09:10 PM |
| 18 | This is one of those things that sounds "Cool" and "Empowering" when we are young with no responsibilities, but once you get saddled with a parasitic man that takes everything and gives you nothing, you will realize just how NOT cool or empowering this is.Literally what would be the point of a relationship if not to be taken care of? Like at least men get children and someone to carry a pregnancy out of relationships; women get basically nothing other than someone to keep them company and take care of them. If you're a 'natural born provider' and you can carry your own children and sperm banks exist you might as well stay single. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 07/01/22 04:00 PM |
| 30 | “You’re so Weird!”/“You’re quirky”I've been called weird for carrying clothes I was planning on returning in a reusable grocery bag (I had no idea there were so many social rules around containers for things) and for sometimes just saying 'no' without an explanation if someone asks me to do something I don't feel like doing (it's not even an aggressive 'no', just a standard one that I don't even mean aggressively or defensively). | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 07/01/22 03:55 PM |
| 37 | A guy in a FB video who may or may not be a doctor just said that one of the 3 main signs a girl has autism is that she doesn't want hugs and kisses and-It's only the shittiest kind of person who doesn't like cats because they invariably don't like them because they enforce boundaries. The parts they don't like about them are that they don't constantly seek validation through submission like (poor and unlucky) dogs. Someone who doesn't like cats just doesn't like having anything but total control over other people. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 07/01/22 03:47 PM |
| 88 | A mother is concerned when her daughter comes home from her boyfriend's house with clear slap marks on her cheek. Pornsick Redditors tell her its sexually empowering, and she agrees. This is the state of women in 2022.I thought that was bizarre too, like does this person think genitals just have skin inflaming bacteria all over them? Wouldn't genitals always be inflamed then? What's different about face skin compared to dick skin? Also, in the unlikely event that this isn't just scrote fanfic, stopping her from seeing him isn't going to stop whatever pick-me impulses drove her to ask to be slapped. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 06/01/22 11:12 PM |
| 1 | Libfems failed to protect us and romanticised the wolf's den.But please keep in mind that when you're married, there is no such thing as true financial independence, there are just extra steps for LVM/NVM to getting access to your money, which is why I am of the opinion that not only should women maintain financial independence (as much as legally possible), but also social independence. What do you mean by 'social independence'? Like just don't get married if you're a lot wealthier than the other person? | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 06/01/22 06:13 PM |
| 8 | It’s insane that a tweet like this gets thousands of likes and retweets when a guy says it, but when women said it a long time ago, it falls on deaf earsTo be fair this is exactly what happened to Andrea Dworkin and that didn't stop her from becoming famous. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 06/01/22 04:09 PM |
| 38 | Tired of the men obsessed with women “reciprocating”I've actually known a lot of guys who just like refuse to touch sweet stuff (despite also being fat or generally liking high calorie stuff). Do men just biologically not like sweet things? Is it some masculinity meme? Like they're somehow more averse to eating sweet stuff than women who are straight up dieting. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 05/01/22 11:20 PM |
| 8 | "I'm feeling blamed"Obviously he's feeling blamed, he's blameworthy. Is that even a retort? Why shouldn't you blame someone if they've done something blameworthy? | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 04/01/22 05:27 PM |
| 7 | Pretty Privilege is Real, But False and Fleeting.You might like this person (the most promising part of her academic career has to do with this): https://www.lrb.co.uk/the-paper/v40/n06/amia-srinivasan/does-anyone-have-the-right-to-sex | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 04/01/22 02:00 PM |
| 27 | Pretty Privilege is Real, But False and Fleeting.This is honestly such a pervasive form of intersectional racism and sexism that I've never heard anyone mention other than my one woc best friend. I work in a department that's obsessed with this kind of stuff (and incidentally is filled almost entirely with white people) and I've never heard anyone mention this or seen it in the literature. Until now I literally thought it was just a fever dream between my friend and I and we were just being overly speculative or something, but this honestly is… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 04/01/22 06:00 AM |
| 161 | Pretty Privilege is Real, But False and Fleeting.I actually got way more congratulations and compliments after losing a ton of weight one summer than I did for getting into grad school or finishing a graduate degree or buying a home or winning 5-figure scholarships. The social power afforded to attractive women is something else (though still not comparable to the most average man). | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 03/01/22 10:30 PM |
| 10 | This is why vetting EVERYONE you spend time with is for your survival. Know the covert red flags of bully pick me’s. They will literally push you off the ledge.It's pretty surprising that even in ancient Greece they clued into the phenomenon of building and monkey branching. You rarely see media that depicts this sort of thing now and so the fact that women should avoid building just isn't part of common cultural consciousness, so the only way they learn about it (if ever) is by facing its consequences personally. Instead what you do see is media brainwashing that suggests men love the same way women do or are just naturally chivalrous, which contribut… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 31/12/21 03:10 PM |
| 4 | Bizarre pickme post in another subreddit: woman so excited that the office "hot guy" flirts with her that she goes out to celebrateAside from what massive cucks her and her husband are, this is also insanely shallow. Imagine admiring someone this much based solely on their appearance. What's the point of wanting someone's approval if their only perceptible trait is their appearance? It'd be like wanting approval from a painting or something. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 31/12/21 05:43 AM |
| 38 | I’m tired of sex work being promoted as the only other option if a woman can’t make money. It’s not that easy and it will ruin your future opportunities if you were to transition out of it.I honestly find her use of 'dogtors' so fucking funny. Like, she's trying to earnestly make this very serious point about the suicide rate of vets while simultaneously using 'dogtors' and the juxtaposition kills me. I almost feel more bad for her than other sex workers because of this riDOGulous pun. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 29/12/21 04:08 AM |
| 107 | Have any of you ever dated a widower? What was the experience like? Would you advise against it?My supervisor's first wife died when he was in grad school. He's spent the rest of his marriage to his second wife of 25 years (with whom he raised two adopted children) triangulating her with his dead wife. He'll still lament her death publicly in Facebook statuses and blame his depression on it around her birthday while his current wife makes him daily schedules to stop him from getting too depressed. He does this despite knowing and openly acknowledging that she sometimes gets jealous. It sou… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 28/12/21 05:07 AM |
| 23 | Guy dumps his GF over not enthusiastically having oral and not doing anal, and gets hailed as an upstanding guy for doing this in the commentsIt's bizarre that it took him 7 months to realize that he wanted a fecally incontinent gf. Good thing he didn't take her up on her offer to basically rape her in exchange for emotional validation from his end. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 27/12/21 08:58 PM |
| 29 | Have any of you ever known a man who initiated a split with his partner WITHOUT getting into a new relationship right away?The only ex I've had initiated the split after a 6 year relationship and afaik he never got with anyone else after. Then again, he was a balding, (diagnosed) avoidant, alcoholic, so it's not that surprising. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 27/12/21 08:53 PM |
| 11 | Things like this are becoming more and more common. Squeeze in the wrong area of the neck and she easily could have gotten real brain damage (from the lack of oxygen). Be careful out there ladies.chocked I can't believe all the choking induced brain damage made her forget how to spell 'choked'. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 23/12/21 03:13 PM |
| 126 | Good sense prevailing in the commentsShe's so lucky he's dumb enough to not take her up on her offer of being his sugar mommy. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 23/12/21 03:01 PM |
| 7 | OP asked for advice and naturally everyone gaslit her into thinking she was at faultthe woman in the post seems a bit too codependent on her partner. she says i want to get out of the house since she’s been home all day, and to that i say why? if she doesn’t have a job why not go out to lunch with a friend, or just go to a coffee shop and get a pastry and read, literally why wait till your husband gets home to finally leave the house for the day? I suppose I don't really see the point of a husband if I have to rely on friends or just myself to take me out for the day. You might… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 22/12/21 03:40 PM |
| 56 | OP asked for advice and naturally everyone gaslit her into thinking she was at faultMy current partner has literally never acted this way, even when he had perfectly reasonable grounds to be stressed. Obviously that can change at any point and you have to keep vetting, but goddamn if only women could see how much better they could have it if they weren't constantly subject to scrote brainwashing. I feel so bad for OP because you can tell she was vulnerable and at a crossroads: either she listens to her intuition that she was wronged in this situation, or she questions if she's … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 22/12/21 05:48 AM |
| 14 | Weaponizing Communication and TrustDid you financially support him while he pretended to look for jobs? I wonder if he ever got one after (I assume) you left. My biggest FDS mindfuck had to do with the fact that maybe disclosing literally everything I think all the time in pursuit of good communication might just be teaching other people how to gaslight me. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 22/12/21 04:51 AM |
| 45 | Woman in Denial About being in an Abusive, "open" Marriage.That cut to the literal children's toys had to have been intentional | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 22/12/21 04:39 AM |
| 22 | Woman in Denial About being in an Abusive, "open" Marriage.His 7-head gives me chills | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 22/12/21 04:37 AM |
| 100 | OP asked for advice and naturally everyone gaslit her into thinking she was at faultShe said she was afraid of getting in an accident while pregnant. Whether or not that's rational is irrelevant, I think. If you compare the favour she's doing for him (ruining her body, endangering her life, and giving up her career to bring a literal child into the world) driving her is, comparatively, not that big a deal. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 22/12/21 04:12 AM |
| 169 | OP asked for advice and naturally everyone gaslit her into thinking she was at faultShe posted this on the thread to justify her 'YTA' verdict of OP. The saddest part of all of this is that she's internalized her oppression. She takes pride in the fact that she has to work 10 hour days until her body gives out. Maybe it's something of an adaptive preference. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 22/12/21 04:01 AM |
| 233 | OP asked for advice and naturally everyone gaslit her into thinking she was at faultHere's another one, since for some reason I love disgusting myself before going to bed: Hell, I drove myself to work, worked a 10 hour day, drove home, told my husband I was feeling off, and then had an emergency cesarean all in one day. You gotta do what you’ve gotta do. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 22/12/21 03:50 AM |
| 522 | OP asked for advice and naturally everyone gaslit her into thinking she was at faultSome overly proud anti-woman pick-me in the comments: I literally gave birth two months ago and was still driving and attempting to walk up til the end. My husband also travels frequently for work but I never pushed him to accomodate me. God this post was a fucking doozy. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 22/12/21 03:40 AM |
| 57 | I really hope this is a generational thing, but imagine only "expressing an interest in learning how to cook" after your wife dies and relying on your children for meals...He used to advocate against vegetarianism (until he realized it was good for the environment) under the pretence that it's just natural that animals eat each other and humans are animals. The thought of some old man who can't even make a sandwich thinking of himself as on the same level as a tigress who hunts is laughable. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 22/12/21 12:26 AM |
| 62 | what happens when you initiafe contact even onceIt sounds like your offer just made it easier to weed him out. Seems like a good outcome, honestly? | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 22/12/21 12:21 AM |
| 6 | “Merry Christmas from me and my family, whom I hate!”I love how they keep ripping off the same 'joke' down to the quote, like they can't even be original or creative with their rampant misogyny. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 21/12/21 07:32 PM |
| 85 | cringe Slate post on 50/50I don't understand why some people get resentful of their partner's families wealth. Like, if you're serious about them then you want to marry them and if you're planning to marry them you'd benefit tremendously from their family's wealth. If you aren't serious about marrying them but still choose to date them, then you should probably just get tossed in a wood chipper. Also lmao that advice columnist is doing that woman a huge favour, honestly. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 21/12/21 05:05 PM |
| 11 | Everyone in this supposed feminist sub is telling her to propose herselfYep, I love FDS but every now and then people sometimes touch on genuinely feminist topics (e.g. opting out of self-objectification instead of taking it as a marker of 'levelling up') and people's response is always 'this is still a dating sub so obviously makeup/your appearance etc. *matters*'. It still is basically the only refuge of sanity that's out there though, online or offline. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 21/12/21 04:49 PM |
| 12 | Everyone in this supposed feminist sub is telling her to propose herselfIt's because they keep getting banned lmao. pinkpillfeminism was my go to prior to fds, then thepinkpill popped up after the former got banned, then the latter did too. the problem is their mods aren't as stringent and vigilant as FDS' and men look for any possible opening to infiltrate and dismantle women's spaces. I'm not a huge fan of the word 'spaces' cause I think it's overused, but this time I really mean it since it's sufficiently broad - they do this with women's movements (they took the… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 21/12/21 04:37 PM |
| 54 | Does anyone feel there’s increased pressure today to be a “cool girl” about trying the craziest stuff? I feel as if men today just get off on degrading women.That fucking gone girl quote snapped legions of women out of some of the most cringy forms of pickmeism out there. It's such a good book and was easily David Fincher's best movie. Also it's just weird what kind of rhetorical force mockery has (as opposed to even just reasoned argument), to get people to look past their narcissistic impulses and just stop being pick-mes. Also I think the difference between actual cool girls and performative cool girls is the attitude they take toward their hobbie… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 21/12/21 04:12 PM |
| 38 | Everyone in this supposed feminist sub is telling her to propose herselfFUCK sorry, I meant his uhh person who looks like a wife and acts like a wife and does all the things a wife does and gave birth to his children b-but totally isn't his wife because he's just not ready for commitment | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 21/12/21 02:50 PM |
| 44 | This lady is PickMe Hall of Shame personified 🤡 She "outsourced sex" with her boyfriend to another woman🤡 She said it didn't go as planned 🤡 No shit, SherlockMy neighbor has a low libido as well. Her solution was marry a great guy who is also low libido. Their love language is quality time and they just spend a lot of time together doing hobbies. The ideal relationship, honestly. I don't often see stuff on FDS that strikes me as heartwarming. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 21/12/21 05:59 AM |
| 10 | Thoughts on a male heaux phase?I don't think people (especially men) have ho 'phases', I think the kind of person who gets attracted to that sort of stuff just stays that way for most of their lives. It's just a character flaw. Promiscuous pasts give me intense ick too, but it's tricky too because some men with relatively clean sexual track records just have them because they're too emotionally avoidant to engage in that kind of intimacy with people. Either way though, I don't think people ever really 'grow out' of a ho phase… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 21/12/21 05:52 AM |
| 5 | Doomscrolling: why we need to be picky on the internetI think there's something to this but I don't think 'high value' media is just media that isn't negative in its content; I think it's probably more content that isn't tabloidy, is well researched, is nuanced and thoughtful, and is about stuff that actually matters. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 21/12/21 05:48 AM |
| 95 | Everyone in this supposed feminist sub is telling her to propose herselfWhy would he be down to have literal children with her but not grant her this? It's so irrational (and immoral, because it implies he thinks his children are less significant than, idk, commitment? like on some level he knows he's going to abandon them and he knew it the moment he chose to ejaculate in his wife without a condom). | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 21/12/21 05:38 AM |
| 154 | What is it with men and being greedy and wanting open relationships?It's because they never loved the original person to begin with. If you really love someone you want monogamy, it's pretty simple. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 21/12/21 04:51 AM |
| 8 | Excerpt from The Second Sex by Simone de Beauvoir (translated)I had no idea about this, but come to think of it it's not surprising. I think those 'narcissist' and 'woman in love' sections of the second sex constituted probably the most in depth and articulate account of a pick-me mindset I've ever seen. It'd make sense that she's a pick me, then, because who else would have better access to the layers of self delusion required to chase men so fervently than someone who's been through it herself? It's pretty remarkable how simultaneously self aware someone… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 20/12/21 04:36 AM |
| 7 | From the dad of one of my daughter’s friends, out of literally nowhere.I think he was attempting to make a joke with the brother thing (but he doesn't realize that just makes him look even more scuzzier). | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 19/12/21 02:56 PM |
| 122 | Forever GF finally done after being forced to care for BF's stinky slobbering furbabyHonestly, if he has temper issues should he even have contact with his kids? | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 19/12/21 04:06 AM |
| 13 | Philanthropist husband leaves his wife, disabled child, and two other children following an affair spurred by ostensible charity-workWHAT. My god, I mean this is terrible but also you rarely see karma play out like this. Good find. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 19/12/21 04:04 AM |
| 35 | Philanthropist husband leaves his wife, disabled child, and two other children following an affair spurred by ostensible charity-work100%, though I still think 'cancel culture' hasn't really gone far enough. People get cancelled for things like outright sexual assault or explicitly sexist public remarks, but what about subtler, even more pervasive and arguably equally damaging variants of cruelty and manipulation (e.g. cheaters, gaslighters, avoidants, people who string women along, people who use weaponized incompetence)? How do we 'cancel' people like the man in that article I posted? How do we make them face justice? | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 18/12/21 09:15 PM |
| 35 | Philanthropist husband leaves his wife, disabled child, and two other children following an affair spurred by ostensible charity-workDo you think people like this ever come to terms with their cowardice? Do you think they recognize it or face any sort of justice for the havoc they wreak on other people's lives or do they just remain deluded? | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 18/12/21 09:01 PM |
| 105 | Philanthropist husband leaves his wife, disabled child, and two other children following an affair spurred by ostensible charity-workYep. The documentary also shows the lengths she goes to to support her daughter during her addiction (meanwhile, her daughter's father ran off because he didn't like that she didn't adopt the 'tough love' i.e. neglect method). | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 18/12/21 08:59 PM |
| 42 | "The more accepting you become, the less bizarre things seem."- Why scepticism is important and why you don't owe acceptance to anyone.You can tell people don't really understand what it means to accept something when they overuse acceptance. There's a difference between acceptance and mere indifference. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 17/12/21 03:59 PM |
| 12 | Bell Hook’s Death has me thinking…I bet there would be a huge dip if we just had a simple routine of cleanser, moisturiser and spf for our face and body wash and body lotion. No extra fancy stuff because society wants us to look young or buy things as 'self-care' Honestly no man I've known has even used moisturizer, SPF, or body lotion. I mean don't get me wrong I'm an uncomfortably dry/peely person so I still would, but I just felt like stressing how minimal these routines often actually are if you're not a woman. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 17/12/21 03:23 AM |
| 13 | Bell Hook’s Death has me thinking…Strangely I don't think women spend an inordinate amount of time empathizing with other people because of some meta-narrative about empathy being good that they irrationally subscribe to, I think it's more that they're encouraged to just pay more attention to men than themselves (most fleshed out media characters are men, most news coverage is about men, men tend to monopolize conversations in which they're involved etc.) and if you pay a lot of attention to someone you'll obviously start natura… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 17/12/21 03:20 AM |
| 17 | No more wishy-washy menRe your edit, even if he didn't effectively opt to break up you still seem perfectly within line to do it yourself. Imagine having a child/buying a house/marrying a 'see what happens' kind of person - they'd be so wildly unreliable that you'd basically spend the rest of your life steeping in chronic anxiety. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 15/12/21 05:12 PM |
| 37 | “How to Cure a Feminist...pretend to share her beliefs”, published in the Maxim magazine. Beware Ladies, vet the men claiming to be advocates.People who do this are just reacting defensively because it's one of the least objectionable forms of moral behaviour and its generally selfless since it's always on behalf of another group. If people see other people being moral they either laud them while going back to what they're doing (a normal response), emulate them (a morally virtuous response), or panic when faced with the prospect of not being moral themselves and in doing so try taking them down (a simultaneously immoral and self-unaw… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 13/12/21 07:25 PM |
| 46 | “How to Cure a Feminist...pretend to share her beliefs”, published in the Maxim magazine. Beware Ladies, vet the men claiming to be advocates.'bodacious' or 'ta-ta's When was this written? This feels like a satire anti-libfem article that somehow ended up in a sus magazine. Also why did they throw veganism in there? | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 13/12/21 07:22 PM |
| 25 | If a man is this obsessed with slimness, he doesn’t deserve to have someone carry his child. He is also probably repulsed by pregnant women.If anything hair restoration seems way easier than weight loss for people with bad genetics. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 13/12/21 07:16 PM |
| 64 | If a man is this obsessed with slimness, he doesn’t deserve to have someone carry his child. He is also probably repulsed by pregnant women.This honestly seems like a good thing (though obviously it would've been better if he didn't waste her time by dating her to begin with - like why would it take an entire relationship to discover that his girlfriend's mom is fat??). Her life would've been hell if she ended up marrying someone like that. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 13/12/21 07:15 PM |
| 34 | If a man is this obsessed with slimness, he doesn’t deserve to have someone carry his child. He is also probably repulsed by pregnant women.Imagine all the time he'd save if he just transparently opened with these demands before dating someone so all women would have a chance to reject him right out of the gate. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 13/12/21 07:12 PM |
| 64 | If a man is this obsessed with slimness, he doesn’t deserve to have someone carry his child. He is also probably repulsed by pregnant women.Also they go bald, which looks way worse than being fat. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 13/12/21 07:11 PM |
| 56 | If a man is this obsessed with slimness, he doesn’t deserve to have someone carry his child. He is also probably repulsed by pregnant women.People who lack the foresight to set accurate expectations for the future are man-children. She's dating someone who's got the mental and emotional maturity of a 16 year old (i.e. someone who certainly wouldn't be fit to parent with). Not capitulating to his requests that she devote herself to being a suitable cumsock was probably the best thing she could do for herself, even if she feels bad about the breakup in the moment. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 13/12/21 07:10 PM |
| 2 | What did he say? Oh wait, I don't care ^_^ (FDS art by me)I love how creative these are | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 10/12/21 08:23 PM |
| 13 | The End of Men...and the Rise of Women.Could you link this to me? Obviously I have to bookmark it and cite it everywhere now. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 06/12/21 02:45 AM |
| 126 | The End of Men...and the Rise of Women.And because it's so difficult to document the kind of work stay at home parents do it's not even clear that stay at home fathers do the sorts of things SAHMs do (e.g. interior decor, planning kid's events, keeping up with their appointments, getting involved in their school events etc.) | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 05/12/21 05:34 PM |
| 14 | Falling in love should be a stress-free experience for youthey are scared to leave you in misery cause it equally hurts This is such an important detail and I've literally never met a guy who's done this. I wonder why it's so uncommon. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 05/12/21 05:13 PM |
| 0 | An increasing number of women are paying alimony to LVM husbandsYou do realize you're a stranger on the internet offering legal advice, right? | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 05/12/21 04:31 PM |
| 1 | An increasing number of women are paying alimony to LVM husbandsMaybe it's different in Canada than in the US but my family lawyer and estate lawyer both actively cautioned me against marriage (to my LVM ex-fiance) even with a prenup because of contestation and because we had substantially different degrees of wealth. They advised a cohabitation agreement instead, as we both owned the same house, and listening to them saved my ass. So either both of these lawyers just lied for no reason or perhaps you're a little overconfident. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 05/12/21 01:54 PM |
| 127 | Break up songs by guys that make you laughI didn't know men wrote breakup songs. What would be the point if you're too emotionally stunted to experience actual love towards a woman? | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 05/12/21 04:04 AM |
| 5 | Once a scrote, always a scroteOkay be honest though that must've felt a little satisfying, like this dude who fucked you over is now in tears at the mere sight of you. It's not justice, but it seems pretty close. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 05/12/21 02:44 AM |
| 36 | What is the meaning of this?THIS I don't understand how men find so many innocuous things women do or like cringey but when it comes to sexual desperation and forced kinkiness they're totally fine with it. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 05/12/21 01:05 AM |
| 23 | I'm going to sound ridiculous...He basically said that virginity is a huge responsibility and that he can't take it lightly, talking about some "you deserve your promise" I think he basically admitted he wanted to use you or wasn't that serious about you but because he's knee deep in a madonna whore complex he feels immoral about doing that to a virgin (but not any other woman). | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 03/12/21 01:26 PM |
| 7 | This Christmas don’t be like me - Watch out for holiday lovebombingFDS advises ghosting only because men are often completely insane (they string women along, they gaslight them for years, they cheat etc.). This parallel only makes sense if you think OP's done some of these things. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 03/12/21 05:20 AM |
| 32 | My HVM was actually just a golddiggerIt's funny because I feel like he'd actually be less likely to exploit you if you were as poor as him. It's almost like being wealthy (almost like being educated) is a mark against women. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 03/12/21 12:42 AM |
| 62 | My HVM was actually just a golddiggerHow long did it take for the mask to slip? The credit card thing is so creepy. At least you can keep track of bills since they're large expenses, but who keeps track of takeout transactions? The latter could slip by you so easily. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 03/12/21 12:30 AM |
| 2 | This Christmas don’t be like me - Watch out for holiday lovebombingPretty sure you can end a relationship if your partner cheats, emotionally neglects you, or wants wildly different things than you and can't compromise on them. Doesn't sound like any of those things were true for OP (or perhaps we'll never know because her date ghosted her - a dick move that warrants criticism at least on FDS, if not in general). | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 02/12/21 11:55 PM |
| 10 | This Christmas don’t be like me - Watch out for holiday lovebombingHe gained 2 months of her time. It doesn't take 2 months to figure out whether you like someone or not. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 02/12/21 11:01 PM |
| 11 | This Christmas don’t be like me - Watch out for holiday lovebombingOP got manipulated out of an expensive gift. I don't see what's not FDS about complaining about it? People talk about manipulation tactics on here all the time and she's just illustrating a particular case. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 02/12/21 09:08 PM |
| 38 | Men puts more thought into a high-school sweetheart proposal than the "proposal" to his current wife. Of course the onus gets put on the woman and she gets told to cOmUNicatE.I was initially scratching my head at the fact that he treated his high school girlfriend better, but this honestly seems like the most plausible explanation of the double standard. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 02/12/21 03:18 AM |
| 31 | Men puts more thought into a high-school sweetheart proposal than the "proposal" to his current wife. Of course the onus gets put on the woman and she gets told to cOmUNicatE.I can't imagine on what grounds he could possibly get defensive. The fact that he put more effort into a woman he barely knew from highschool than the literal mother of his child is insane to me. His excuse doesn't even make any sense either - if he was so depressed over his mother that he couldn't experience honeymoon feelings then why date anyone at all? The whole reason people initially start dating new people is because of the honeymoon feelings to begin with. Like in this thread people have… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 02/12/21 03:14 AM |
| 8 | Young woman lives in a frat house with 6 young men and cleans up after themThis was initially the impression I got as well, but then I saw the cards she laid out at around 1:30 of OP's video, which induced a level of cringe only capable by a true pick me. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 01/12/21 04:10 AM |
| 8 | Certain pickmes become "feminists" for a while, just to go back to coddling men and dragging you down with them.I actually think people like this are on the process of becoming pink-pilled about men. Undoing social conditioning is hard and if opportunities to chase men present themselves women often take it, despite on some level knowing they ought not. I think you could view their pro-FDS sympathies as their authentic ones and their pick-me urges as uncomfortable but temporary phases on their path towards becoming genuinely good feminists. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 01/12/21 03:44 AM |
| 21 | My date before vs. after FDS + vettingHe walked at my pace. Okay sorry why is this such a thing? Like I used to think I was just an idiosyncratically slow walker or something until I realize so many people on FDS have been subjected to the sheer awkwardness of a man they're seeing just outpacing them as if they don't exist next to them when walking. It's madness. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 01/12/21 02:37 AM |
| -1 | Men can hate you, despise you even, and they’ll still string you along for years to get their revengeI think my claim is more that it doesn't really make sense to lie about it for the sake of looking interesting, because if you think about it, it doesn't make a person seem more interesting (unlike painting or composing music or whatever else). It might be functional (e.g. if you don't speak English and a lot of people you know do) but if you think about it you're just translating something you think into another format other people might understand. That itself isn't interesting as much as what… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 30/11/21 04:22 AM |
| 3 | Men can hate you, despise you even, and they’ll still string you along for years to get their revengeIt's funny because guys always make fun of women who list stuff like eating at restaurants as a 'hobby', but I feel like speaking/learning new languages is the male equivalent of that - actually, scratch that, it's a bit worse than that. At least if someone's a foodie you can expect to go on dates to interesting places with nice food - literally what do you get out of some guy who happens to know Mandarin? How does that benefit you? It's not even the kind of hobby that reflects any interesting f… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 29/11/21 03:42 AM |
| 4 | Do you think most of us were very naive when we were younger?I don't actually think FDS is conducive to making people jaded. Like, most of the stuff on here is just about feeling entitled to have higher standards, which seems like a generally positive/self-affirming thing. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 26/11/21 05:40 AM |
| 30 | I see posts like this weekly - thank god the comments unanimously say GTFO ASAP. But how heartbreaking that this woman WITH AN MBA has resorted to CAMMING and is putting up with this for some scrote she's dated for 5 WHOLE MONTHS?!?!?!??!Man I worry for those cats. Like, you're not supposed to do the water gun thing (why don't people just google this shit before deciding to power trip over animals?). Honestly the animal cruelty is such a standard red flag. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 26/11/21 01:40 AM |
| 41 | “The sex lives of college girls” a new disgusting HBO specialGod I got 'white worshipping' vibes so hard from that Aziz Ansari show, I couldn't get through it on those grounds alone. Literally the plot of every season was him chasing a new white girl - not only is that boring, but also just bizarre? Like, aside from showing his parents on camera for all of 5 minutes they could've easily just cast a white guy in his place and there were basically no brown women in it at all. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 24/11/21 09:28 PM |
| 150 | I deserve better than this relationship, but I have never experienced love this deep./u/PokePrincess95 my ex was a 'very nice' alcoholic. He was never controlling or angry, always did stuff around the house without being asked, did me favours and complimented me, raised my self esteem about my appearance and never cheated or even seemed remotely interested in other women. Everyone around us would comment on how he seemed to look at me with adoration, even 6 years into the relationship. Then all of a sudden, two months before the wedding, he told me about his alcoholism and dumpe… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 24/11/21 03:12 AM |
| 23 | I deserve better than this relationship, but I have never experienced love this deep.Marriage can be pretty dangerous, especially if one partner is much more well off or financially stable than the other. Sure, pre-nups exist, but they can be contested and contestations are often successful when there's a very wide disparity between one person's financial health and the other's. Waiting until he has a steady job (or maybe never doing it at all, given his disposition towards not having jobs) would probably be in your interest in the long run. There's no reason loving someone mean… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 24/11/21 03:04 AM |
| 47 | I deserve better than this relationship, but I have never experienced love this deep.Hmm, one thing you could do, if you're too anxious at the moment to outright leave, is just separate your lives a bit. You could still date and remain exclusive, but force him to live on his own, get someone else to rent with you, and don't pay any of his bills (in fact you probably should never do that last thing, even if he does have a job). | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 24/11/21 02:57 AM |
| 104 | I deserve better than this relationship, but I have never experienced love this deep.Why can't he hold down a job? How does he survive or make ends meet? | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 24/11/21 02:49 AM |
| 12 | Complimenting other women - red flag?I think it depends on the nature of the compliment. If they compliment some woman for being particularly smart or good at something and it seems like she actually is smart or good at that thing, then that seems reasonable. If, on the other hand, he says anything about her appearance or attributes positive traits to her that don't apply (likely because she's attractive and he's suffering from the halo effect) then clearly that's a red flag. It might also depend on the woman. If a guy compliments … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 24/11/21 02:37 AM |
| 34 | Successful novelist wife writes a book on her lunch hour. Husband is mad.Yep (to clarify - I was implying that it was just ultra tragic that someone this smart ends up with someone this emotionally stunted and entitled). | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 24/11/21 01:29 AM |
| 108 | Successful novelist wife writes a book on her lunch hour. Husband is mad.How is someone smart enough to write a $100,000 book in an hour and yet ends up with someone so clearly insidiously abusive? He's obviously trying to force her to take care of their kid and do nothing else so he'll maintain power in the relationship as the guy who has more going on outside of it. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 24/11/21 12:43 AM |
| 14 | How do you tell the difference between your gut telling you something about the present vs what you've been conditioned to expect?I think the difficulty in relying on facts to support intuitions about people's behaviour and inner thoughts is that usually understanding what people actually think requires a lot of speculation and inference. If people lie to you or manipulate you you obviously can't take what they say at face value. You could look at their actions, but the problem is that usually they participate in at least some behaviours that made you anxious to begin with while also participating in behaviours that make y… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 23/11/21 07:43 AM |
| 15 | Studies have shown that men (moreso than women) will leave a relationship / marriage when their partner gets sick. Not to mention the high rate that they abandon their family/parental responsibilities. This is why it's so important to not settle for LVM!How does someone spend 19 years with someone and leave them like this? Are men capable of love? I've seen men who spend forever lamenting ex girlfriends who had the courage to leave them, while simultaneously treating their actual girlfriends like garbage. This man left his wife of 19 years who stayed with him the entire time and wasted all her money and talent on him. I'd understand if simply don't experience genuine love for women if they were like this with all of them, but they seem so prone… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 23/11/21 07:35 AM |
| 11 | When David Attenborough is asked about how his wife's death affected him, all he could bring up was how his daughter had to move in with him because he can't cook. Timestamp 16:40-17:50. This man is often thought of as a HVM because of his loves for animals. He is not.He's actually argued against vegetarianism on those meme 'animals always eat other animals!!' grounds until very recently (when he finally clued in that consuming meat was terrible for the environment), so his purported love for animals is not even particularly robust or consistent either. Peter Singer's a bunch better animal rights guy because he actually considers their welfare. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 20/11/21 11:20 AM |
| 44 | Carole Baskins husband is alive!! She has been going through an ordeal with Netflix who willfully and maliciously misrepresented her in the Netflix "documentary". She has had to deal with too much bullshit and the real sicko who tried to murder her is in prison(good riddance). Hope she wins!Louis Theroux actually did a much more accurate documentary on that Tiger King guy and then did a great follow-up after that inane anti-animal anti-woman Netflix thing came out. He showed old footage of how pre-meditated, violent, and sexist Joe Exotic was. It felt like such responsible journalism. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 20/11/21 11:16 AM |
| -1 | Sex work is not a "pure" service job like being a barista or a maid, it is undergirded by the commodification of the female body. Women are viewed and treated like goods.Modelling and waitressing do not rest on objectification and nothing more. In modelling the purpose is to sell clothes, in waitressing the purpose is to sell food. And how exactly do they go about doing this? Is it by asking models about their opinions on anything? Is it by appreciating their sense of humour, their moral fibre, or their practical talents? No. It's by making them appealing to look at. Objectification occurs when your reduce someone to the level of an object i.e. you make whatever… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 19/11/21 02:44 PM |
| 8 | If you weren't already convinced that men are depraved, then this will do the trick...One of the comments on the video: 8 months ago Bdsm has rules. Safe, sane and consensual. This is horrible. 5.1K 😒 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 19/11/21 12:51 AM |
| 10 | Realizing the “cool girls” you used to be friends with were just total pickme’sThey were the girls who claimed to hate makeup, dresses, handbags, and pretty much anything considered feminine. I don't know if I totally buy this. A lot of this stuff (i.e. the commodified aspects of femininity) is marketed to women by preying precisely on pick-me impulses (for every woman who genuinely 'expresses herself' via wearing makeup there are 20 more who do it because they're unhappy with how they look without it). I'm usually suspicious of not-like-other-girls behaviours if they inci… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 17/11/21 11:29 PM |
| 9 | Why do they keep normalizing this gross behaviour????One way people chastise men like this is by pointing out how predatory it is that they prey on children. On the other hand, I don't think people spend enough time emphasizing how pathetic it is. Like, this is some old fuck who's lived for several decades who's still so stupid that he can only manage to pull a child. Imagine being so mentally and emotionally stunted that at this age you're still basically at the level of a 20 year old. It's not just predatory, it's embarrassing and pathetic | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 17/11/21 03:36 AM |
| 77 | Karen has just become another word for “Bitch” and we all know it.I've seen people make fun of middle aged women for having 'Karen hair', totally independent of her actual behaviour. Like, as if we needed even more cultural resources to dunk on older women for no longer being fuckable. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 14/11/21 03:24 AM |
| 3 | Perspective | For years, I pursued men and got nowhere. Then I learned how to sit in the passenger’s seat.I noticed that too! I was wondering if they were making some point about women pursuing men below their league (the theme of the article) or if it was literally just another pic of some woman who's way hotter than her old melty-faced husband | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 13/11/21 03:29 PM |
| 96 | Taylor Swift’s “All Too Well”I hate you're too needy. It's such a particularly sexist insult because it's one people use specifically when women are both aware of their boundaries and expectations, articulate them, and get upset when they're crossed. People who use it as an insult specifically think women ought not have expectations for anything and somehow see nothing wrong with that. Edit: Also, I just realized how insane it'd be to consider someone like Taylor Swift needy. Like, she's filthy rich and insanely famous, blo… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 12/11/21 02:43 PM |
| 1 | Does anyone have any articles pushing back against sex positivity?It's always these weird trendy millennial-targeted pseudo-news outlets (vice, Vox, refinery29 etc.) that push sex positivity. I honestly have no clue why or what they get out of pushing this particular angle. It's not like you'd ever see Al Jazeera or the BBC publish on stuff like this. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 12/11/21 02:03 AM |
| 11 | “Never tell men about your trauma”What sorts of questions did she ask? | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 10/11/21 11:40 PM |
| 98 | Don't waste your time giving emotional support to a man who hasn't proved he wants something serious with you.His motivations are so confusing. Why waste all the time/money/effort on planning fun dates with a woman if all you want is sex from her? You can buy a prostitute, it'll probably be around as expensive, and you can just do it immediately. Like don't get me wrong I think sex work is a highly objectionable practice but you'd think one good thing about it is that it should prevent women from getting involved with people like OP's pseudo-predator. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 10/11/21 02:58 PM |
| 62 | When two people try to out-LV each otherI KNOW I think one reason men get away with being so consistently LV and then finding women way out of their league is the they've almost unionized to be shitty and LV across the board. This woman's somehow doing other women a favour by at least giving them a taste of their own medicine. I also love how she begs him not to cheat on her/go to strip clubs and he's like *shrug* while, when she does basically the same thing, he's like oooh god I need counselling that was sooo fucked up. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 10/11/21 02:49 PM |
| 75 | When two people try to out-LV each otherEspecially because it seems like she did it after what he did, implying it's retaliatory. He was basically such a LVM that it drove her to becoming a LVW. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 10/11/21 02:36 PM |
| 8 | Former supermodel Paulina Porizkova talks about life as an older woman.This is why I find jobs like modelling almost as objectionable as sex work (although yeah, it's a lot less lurid and typically less violent). When you cut past all the bullshit all these jobs rest entirely on objectification - that's it. It's really not surprising, then, that women get chewed up and spit back out after a few years once they start aging. In the video she said 'as a model, you rent your body out as a blank canvas' - she's right, and no job or practice should do this to a person. T… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 10/11/21 03:43 AM |
| 43 | Boundaries with male friends and pickmes not having anyMy friend's LVM ex cheated on her chronically and gaslit her into thinking she was the problem for being upset about it (he also tried making her read the dictionary definition of cheating to convince her that what he did didn't count as cheating). At one point he tried triangulating her with his female 'bff' and that 'bff' lost her mind - she showed me that chat and this woman was posting giant walls of text about how her dad threw her against the wall and shit and that's how she knows my frien… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 10/11/21 03:37 AM |
| 49 | Ashnikko and her songs: are Gen-Z ladies finally getting fed up?This screams sex pozzi liberal hoax. Basically - if a rich and powerful white guy wouldn't do it, then it's probably some bullshit. Also, literally nobody below the age of 40 in North America is sexually repressed anymore, wearing a bathing suit on stage and humping a teddy bear and getting waxed on camera (or in general) isn't remotely cutting edge. Not that I think you shouldn't listen to her, though. I love Mitski and Lana Del Rey and all of their songs are basically just about bemoaning life… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 10/11/21 03:11 AM |
| 181 | Guy I was talking to defends his misogynistic comments and covers them up as banter and jokes with his friends and tells me if I won’t accept him then to leave which I did. I can’t accept him for who he is because I don’t reward pornsick, misogynistsTBH I think misogynists and pornsick people never really change - you'd have to have an innate disposition to avoid debauchery and if you got in it in the first place then obviously you don't have it. This honestly seems like a better outcome than having him lie to you about suddenly seeing the light and string you along. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 10/11/21 02:59 AM |
| 6 | Don’t travel for a man. Especially on your own dime. If he was interested he would travel to you or at very minimum pay for your flight and accommodations.My best friend's been seeing this guy she met off of a dating app and she travels to his city to meet him every weekend because he finds ours boring. The weird thing is, although he does have his own set of issues, he's decent enough to offer to pay for her trip and their dates but she insists on turning him down. She used to buy groceries for her unemployed LVM exes constantly until they dumped her too (and for context unlike them she was actually employed, sociable, funny, and way more attract… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 10/11/21 02:19 AM |
| 4 | Does anyone have any articles pushing back against sex positivity?Thanks! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 09/11/21 03:27 PM |
| 7 | Does anyone have any articles pushing back against sex positivity?Thanks! This is exactly the sort of thing I was looking for. This one's more on pornography (also relevant), though it's surprising what a dearth there is of formal articles on shitty/misogynistic attitudes underlying casual sex culture. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 09/11/21 03:27 PM |
| 18 | Leave the LVM/NVM men for the Pick-me's ladies, they deserve eachotherI feel like pickmes don't deserve LVM. Like, okay, yes their behaviour is woefully self unaware and makes life worse for the rest of women but it's driven by low self-esteem and maybe a general lack of mental acuity, which isn't their fault. It doesn't seem as malicious as most LVM behaviour and most of the time it manifests as just being exploitable, which seems like less of a crime than being exploitative. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 09/11/21 02:51 PM |
| 22 | Why Beer is Actually the Ultimate Women's Drink (hint: Witches!!)I actually associate beer (specifically craft beer) with pick-mes more than men. I've seen a lot of RL pick-mes (obviously I'm not suggesting this applies to you OP or people in this thread) basically act like their preference for craft beer is a not-like-other-girls personality trait (it gives off the same vibes as like gamer girls etc.). | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 09/11/21 02:49 PM |
| 29 | Am I codependent or do I have a strong intuition?I've had this feeling before with a man and turned out he was emotional unavailable and these feelings were indeed my intuition but instead of listening to it, I just turned to him asking him questions like 'What is wrong?' etc, he led me on for 2 weeks straight saying there was nothing wrong and then broke up with me. This exact same thing happened to me for 6 years. I used to think I was insane or clingy - turns out my anxiety was actually well-founded (he even saw a therapist for a substance … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 09/11/21 02:38 PM |
| 26 | Don’t bother manipulating a LVM from doing weaponized incompetence. Just leave him. It will only get worse if you have children with him.I actually don't think she's that bad. I mean yes, obviously she can do better and should leave, but given that she's not what she's doing seems a bit less bad than just perpetually trying to reason with him (which is what most well-meaning women would do). Still seems weird that she keeps serving him food, though. I've never done this for an SO and they've never asked - maybe feeling required to is where the problem starts? | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 09/11/21 02:29 PM |
| 11 | Does anyone have any articles pushing back against sex positivity?https://www.nytimes.com/2021/09/24/opinion/sex-positivity-feminism.html This was the one someone linked on FDS! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 09/11/21 02:27 AM |
| 31 | How do I [27F] forgive myself for my past dating mistakes?I spent 6 years in a relationship with a NVM pornsick emotionally stunted secret alcoholic. Shortly after I started a relationship with someone new and he's a comparative dream. Talking to him is so much easier and more enjoyable and the whole thing feels like way less of a struggle. The downside is I keep kicking myself for having stayed in that crappy former relationship for so long. I like to think the main reason why was because I didn't really have a perspective on what other relationships … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 08/11/21 05:51 AM |
| 34 | Any career-focused ladies have dating advice?I actually don't think I could date a guy who was less educated than me. That does mean getting a PhD restricts your dating pool, but just as dating someone who makes way less than you is generally seen as dating below your league I don't see why education's really any different. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 08/11/21 05:22 AM |
| 20 | Judging women for loving animalsI get that a lot about my cat, though I've never had anyone tack on 'you have no one', which made me think it wasn't a malicious comment and more a comment on how (admittedly and openly) obsessed I am with her. Animals can bring a lot of emotional connection and long-term companionship, so whenever women are fortunate enough to be satisfied by them they basically get to 'opt out' of perpetually chasing men. It's funny because every now and then you'll get the 'independent woman girlboss' variant… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 08/11/21 05:00 AM |
| 15 | The "huh?"I think this is the best interpretation of 'huh' - it's a stalling tactic. They can't just answer honestly on the spot, they have to pause, filter their thoughts, make sure they might either pander to you or make you insecure enough to shut up, and then they can articulate them. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 08/11/21 04:45 AM |
| 29 | (TW: SEX, VIOLENCE). These are texts men sent to me when I used to engage in BDSM. Even when they hide behind a "nice guy" facade, this is their true nature. Looking back, I I can't believe I ever accepted being treated this way. BDSM is not liberating or empowering, it's ABUSE.Their only solution ever is 'more aftercare' too, like if someone has a pretty rational response to being basically assaulted in a sexual context (n-not that that's sexual assault because it's a kink of course) why would you think that them being cuddled by the guy who did it would make them feel better? I mean, even if it did make them feel better the whole thing just has a very bad ring to it. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 04/11/21 02:11 PM |
| 15 | The IckGuys who describe themselves as 'big teddy bears' remind me a bit of women who actively embrace little girl shit or self identify as innocent/pure/child-like. Like, the whole point is that other people might see you this way, if you're playing it up or just complimenting yourself it seems insincere, forced, desperate, and cringe. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 03/11/21 04:03 AM |
| 83 | Cancelled a date today 😌 My first unmatch block delete!!I legitimately think a lot of them actively try treating women (and only women) shittily because they're afraid of simping. Like, they'd rather die alone than be called a simp by the kind of man who can never hold down a relationship to begin with. They have no problem doing favours for male friends or relatives but when a woman's involved they have to go through a 'wait...is this simping? maybe I shouldn't do this' thought process. In the end though, the whole 'if he wanted to he would' thing i… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 03/11/21 03:55 AM |
| 2 | Bikini waxing?because it feels ‘cleaner’ For what it's worth, it's technically dirtier, to the extent that you're more likely to get UTIs without pubes. I think that reason, coupled with the fact that it's painful, makes it decidedly not FDS (or at least not feminist). | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 03/11/21 03:48 AM |
| 14 | I knew I wasn't crazy to think that BDSM/rough sex is wildly incompatible with respecting someoneI've heard stories from scrotes I know about getting hot gfs off of tinder (often by initially having casual sex with them) and then being shocked and offended when they do crazy shit like suddenly become a stripper or blow multiple guys while in the relationship. You'd think I'd feel sympathy for them but I don't, since usually women like this give off massive red flags (e.g. being okay with casual sex/polyamory, being okay with patriarchal forms of kink, putting way too much effort into their … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 31/10/21 01:42 PM |
| 6 | I knew I wasn't crazy to think that BDSM/rough sex is wildly incompatible with respecting someoneI either figured he was just straight up lying (even women who think they like casual sex don't really put this much effort into chasing a stranger) or your edit happened. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 31/10/21 01:39 PM |
| 8 | I knew I wasn't crazy to think that BDSM/rough sex is wildly incompatible with respecting someoneNot sure if my reply showed it up since it linked to the thread, but there was an ask men thread posted on FDS a little while ago titled 'have you ever slept with someone you found physically unattractive?' - a lot of women were shocked at men's responses but they were actually pretty expected from an FDS lens. This post stood out to me. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 31/10/21 01:38 PM |
| 20 | Just broke up with a LVM and have FDS to thankhe freaked out and said i was shaming him. I actually talked to a guy off a dating app once who apparently bought two prostitutes. I never met him in person because of this and ghosted him but holy shit when he admitted this he did it so sheepishly and when I was like 'uhhhh' he said 'oh no you're judging me now aren't you?' and it's like no shit what sane person wouldn't? The fact that they're so sensitive about being judged over something like this shows you how morally weak they are - they kn… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 30/10/21 04:15 AM |
| 169 | This is what men think of women they hook up with. It is not in our best interests as women to sleep with men casually.I looked up the thread and the running theme seems to be that unattractive guys settle for sleeping with women they aren't attracted to out of desperation. Wouldn't that give women even more of an incentive to consent exclusively to attractive guys, since they'd be less likely to be this desperate? | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 30/10/21 03:28 AM |
| 8 | Do not take me to a horror movie as a date 🚩Have you ever seen Under the Skin? It's amazing horror and probably one of the only feminist (and more strongly animal-rights themed) horror movies I've seen. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 29/10/21 02:23 PM |
| 36 | Your reminder that polyamory is a complete scam for women. This woman is trying to convince herself that she’s okay with hearing her husband have sex with another woman.lmao his last name is literally 'Merciless' - how fitting. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 28/10/21 02:38 AM |
| 3 | *internal screaming, forever*I've been dating someone who smoked (well, vaped technically) and I asked him to quit. He just did it. He didn't make me feel bad about it, make me articulate some lengthy emotion-laden argument and beg him, imply or outright state I was controlling, or make me ask more than once - he just did it. It was such a good example of 'if he wanted to he would'. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 27/10/21 02:27 PM |
| 3 | Meta observation: spotify ads after listening to FDS podcastlmao it'd be super funny if the people who ended up listening to weird bdsm podcasts (I didn't even know those were a thing) ended up being inundated with FDS podcast ads. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 27/10/21 01:45 AM |
| 3 | My NVM STBX’s response to me enforcing my boundaries with him. We’d separated; he called wanting to reconcile. His condition: I stop drinking. My condition: he stops watching porn. He broke his word and so I started a respectful conversation trying to clarify boundaries. This is how he reacted.I love how he both literally was like 'I masturbate to porn because you're gross' and immediately after was like 'I just do soooo much for you'. Like, pick a narrative and stick to it at least. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 27/10/21 01:29 AM |
| 5 | Invalidation in FriendshipsBut nearly every time I do, I'm invalidated. If I tell my friends that I know a guy isn't interested (because, if he wanted to he would), they tell me that it couldn't possibly be the case. I think friends do this sometimes because they think the potential consequences of encouraging a friend to break up with someone and actually being wrong about him are worse than the potential consequences of encouraging the relationship even when it turns out her partner actually is that bad. Obviously, this… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 27/10/21 12:54 AM |
| 16 | "Men know women better"Women do not want to legalise prostitution for a number of selfish reasons (this list is not comprehensive): some of them are to look good to their peers, they may believe it betters society, and they may on a subconscious level want to increase their mate value I'm a little hung over so I initially read this as 'women want to legalize prostitution for a number of selfish reasons...' and the sentence still made sense. You can tell someone's argument is shit if it can be used to support the exact… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 23/10/21 03:18 PM |
| 18 | "Men know women better"Women do not want to legalise prostitution for a number of selfish reasons (this list is not comprehensive): some of them are to look good to their peers, they may believe it betters society, and they may on a subconscious level want to increase their mate value I'm a little hung over so I initially read this as 'women want to legalize prostitution for a number of selfish reasons...' and the sentence still made sense. You can tell someone's argument is shit if it can be used to support the exact… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 23/10/21 03:18 PM |
| 88 | “But I love casual sex. I have a high sex drive and I don’t want a loving relationship.”I'm torn between feeling sad for people like this, because it's obviously driven by low self-esteem and a lack of self awareness, and feeling resentful because as you mentioned it does lower the bar for other women. It normalizes desperate behaviour on the part of women and shitty, exploitative behaviour on the part of men solely so this one woman can feel validated that all the effort she puts into her appearance is worth it for all of 5 minutes. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 22/10/21 05:16 PM |
| 12 | When having boundaries makes you “insecure”I think one of the most helpful things about FDS is just being able to hear anecdotes from people who actually aren't pick-mes about guys doing good shit, so you don't end up totally hopeless and prone to settling. Even though it's stereotyped as this like bitter man-hating sub it's ironically the only thing that sustains my hope in at least some decent men existing. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 22/10/21 03:17 PM |
| 32 | When having boundaries makes you “insecure”My therapist even said something similar. I told her that my ex would check out other girls, even while we were together on dates. And I said that it made me feel terrible. Her response? According to her, it’s a sign of insecurity to have been bothered by his checking out girls This is insane. I had an extremely LV ex and even he never did this and I'm in a relationship with someone new and he doesn't do this either. Also who cares if it's insecure? Sometimes insecurities are warranted. This is … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 22/10/21 05:59 AM |
| 44 | Are men not attracted to women they respect?Yep - a similar thing happened to a friend of mine. I knew this guy from my high school who basically just went through every white girl we mutually knew and asked them out on facebook, only to (obviously) be turned down. He left my one friend (the only one he semi knew as a person and who was academically and now is professionally way stronger than any of the people he asked out) out till the end, and then finally asked her. Then for the next two years he'd message my chat with him (which I bas… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 21/10/21 09:40 PM |
| 22 | How do you feel when people say “ a man needs to feel needed”?I've always puzzled over my ex saying ''you don't need me'' as one of the reasons to break up lmao - when mine broke up with me he said 'I don't want to feel like you need me'. For context, I'm more educated, wealthier, more mentally stable, and have a much wider network of social support than him, so I'm not sure what 'needing him' really looked like. In any case, you can't win with these people. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 20/10/21 02:41 AM |
| 7 | How do you feel when people say “ a man needs to feel needed”?Honestly if they feel needed they'll just bitch about having a needy gf. It's a lose-lose situation. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 20/10/21 02:16 AM |
| 4 | Lies “body/sex positive” influencers tell 🧐 (Mega-post about self-objectification and posting sexy pics)I think the kind of women OP is talking about are privileged women in the global north. It's not exactly like impoverished Bangladeshi sex workers are the ones posting instagram thirst traps. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 19/10/21 11:09 PM |
| 4 | Lies “body/sex positive” influencers tell 🧐 (Mega-post about self-objectification and posting sexy pics)But women don't have to make careers with their bodies either. Like, think of all the women professors, lawyers, doctors, writers, researchers etc. that exist. There are plenty of non-objectifying jobs for women, so even though, yes, women are systemically objectified in ways men never will be that doesn't imply that they have to be complicit in their own self objectification and doing so only perpetuates this very problem. Obviously the root of the problem is men, but 'men enjoy objectifying wo… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 19/10/21 01:26 PM |
| 2 | I went to a party and was never more relieved to go home alone. 🤣I vaguely know came up to Rob and basically threw herself on him and started to act hypersexual with him, preening and pawing at him. Could you describe this in more detail? What exactly did she say or do? This sounds like very promising cringe. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 19/10/21 03:57 AM |
| 11 | Maid on Netflix - Breakdown and analyses of key ideas around women's experiences who flee DV - and how this related to FDSI generally liked the show but one minor thing that kind of weirded me out was the fact that she was a white woman cleaning wealthy black women's houses (seriously, like all the bitchy wealthy women were women of colour?). It felt like an odd and unnecessary reversal of what tends to actually play out IRL. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 19/10/21 03:50 AM |
| 8 | Maid on Netflix - Breakdown and analyses of key ideas around women's experiences who flee DV - and how this related to FDSI don't think this is a privileged women thing - I'm pretty sure most privileged men just ignore their presence. It's a matter of class privilege in general than some catty woman vs. woman thing. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 19/10/21 03:47 AM |
| 2 | Any thoughts on this take on the “heterosexual double bind”?Why did they even call it a double bind in that video? A double bind happens when no matter what you do you get punished in some context (e.g. being seen as pushy and disagreeable if you voice an opinion and being ignored and exploited if you don't). This doesn't even seem like a double bind to begin with. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 19/10/21 03:33 AM |
| 14 | Lies “body/sex positive” influencers tell 🧐 (Mega-post about self-objectification and posting sexy pics)I think one way to see whether something counts as 'enforced modesty' or is instead just a standard way of existing in a society in which you aren't constantly thinking of how you look and present to others is to see what people who actually have this kind of freedom (i.e. men) are doing. Do men make entire careers out of posting half naked pictures and thirst traps? No, not really. I think just being a normal person with an enriching career and hobbies that engage their mind in a substantive wa… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 19/10/21 03:30 AM |
| 14 | Repost from another sub - this just shows how not having high standards is self defeating & we must strive for relationships that benefit usMaybe I'm just being overly optimistic, but I don't actually think there are that many pick-me women who'd 'lap his shit up'. Like, the OP of that post just sounds insecure because her marriage just dissolved so she naturally thinks other women would desperately climb over themselves for her ex, but in truth I think most women grow out of their pick-me phase after their teens/early 20s. Like, middle aged divorcees aren't the kind of guys who get pick-mes who are out of their league, it's always … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 19/10/21 01:43 AM |
| 1 | Once upon a time I dated a scrote to get over an HVMI was the one who dated down (physically speaking). Also just literally, in light of the whole 5'4" thing. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 19/10/21 12:39 AM |
| 3 | Just a reminder that negging is not always going to be so forthcoming, these scrotes get intricate and creative because they are cowardly and hoping not to completely miss out. I mentioned in my bio that I’m a writer as well as my intelligence being clearly communicated block and delete guys.Everything about OP's message seemed so obviously sleazy but the 'hot girl' thing took it to a new level. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 19/10/21 12:36 AM |
| 3 | Response to 40+ yo men who want kids "someday"There are also plenty of diseases and disorders linked to older, relatively more damaged sperm, so it's irresponsible on those standard grounds as well. Also, it's pretty likely that if someone's 40 years old and still saying shit like this/'figuring their life out' they're basically emotionally and mentally stunted and will always be too irresponsible for a kid. Their lack of a family is a good thing, but not if they somehow rope some unsuspecting woman into it. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 18/10/21 04:20 AM |
| 3 | FDS is BACK!I was going insane without it. It's so grounding. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 14/10/21 01:23 AM |
| 5 | The breakup level up cliche is totally true!I was in such a similar position. My ex fiancé (who I dated for 6 years and bought a house with) revealed he was a secret alcoholic for 4 years and dumped me. I was devastated (he was the only person I ever dated). 6 months later and I got a $45000 scholarship, deepened every single one of my friendships substantially and made some new ones in my department, and started a new relationship. Meanwhile he's still single, shaved his head (he was balding and I made some snide comment about it while h… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 07/10/21 08:29 PM |
| 10 | I can't believe this is the kind of advice that's out there 🙄She deserves so much better. It takes a tremendous amount of strength to break out of this degree of gaslighting - not just from some scrote she's been unlucky enough to know for this long but from the pick me's and random other scrotes she'll run into when searching for validation. I really hope she gets a rational outside perspective, because it's unfair for her to face this alone. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 04/10/21 03:10 AM |
| 16 | A man who loves you should be able to explain what he loves about you SPECIFICALLY. It’s a red flag if he is generic about your qualitiesYES this is such a thing. I remember always finding it off-putting when males I knew described their gfs as 'nice' or 'sweet' - they invariably never use any other more meaningful descriptors (e.g. witty, perceptive, insightful etc.). This is exactly why 'nice' and 'sweet' felt so damned fishy. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 03/10/21 01:49 AM |
| 2 | "I know it's not actually 'cheating' per say" uum excuse me what 😀I have sympathy for her because I think the way women look at it is that real love is a kind of love where you love someone despite their flaws and they respond in kind. It's that latter bit that men never do and that's why women like this get exploited. It's not really their fault, if men responded like women (and like women expect) the world would be much better and the quality of love and relationships would be too. Unfortunately, though, you're completely right. Men don't repay love and care… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 30/09/21 05:50 PM |
| 17 | Men are becoming aware of women's anti pornography stances and are using it to manipulate women.My advice is not to overtly state your views on porn or sex work, one way or another. If it comes up, speak about it neutrally because he will then project his own views of what is the norm onto you and you'll find out what he truly thinks. If you make any strong statement he will likely mirror whatever your beliefs are or at least minimise his own. This is really good advice. I think this is often how men end up blindsiding women when they do. It's hard to understand why they'd do this though -… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 27/09/21 11:30 PM |
| 9 | Men are becoming aware of women's anti pornography stances and are using it to manipulate women.This reminds me of Charlotte from Sex and the City, who found out her fiance was impotent the day before the wedding This is almost exactly what happened to me and my ex fiancé! He was the only person I slept with at the time so I figured that maybe his ED at the age of 19-25 was normal. If only I knew Sex and the City wrote about this first. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 27/09/21 11:22 PM |
© TheRedArchive 2026. All rights reserved.
created by /u/dream-hunter