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always_theoptimist Archive

View 0 posts and 35 comments by always_theoptimist on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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3

Love it! I came across this when I was first learning about RPW and went through a good many of the top posts. Thanks for the great reminder. :)
/r/RedPillWomen27/10/15 05:46 PM
2

That's just what it takes: PRACTICE. When you realize you are stressing about something, force yourself to stop, take a deep breath, and turn your attention to something else. At first the thoughts will keep popping up and you'll have to do this a lot (I remember when I was practicing not overthinking I would literally have to do this every 5-10 minutes when I was having stressful thoughts), but eventually it will become second-nature.
/r/RedPillWomen27/10/15 04:22 PM
4

To emphasize one of your points, in addition to trusting the person, it helps to focus on the "bigger picture". Take the driving example: How far out of the way does the route your SO chose take you? Maybe 5 minutes? In the grand scheme of things, those 5 minutes probably don't make much of a difference, much less a difference worth arguing over.
/r/RedPillWomen27/10/15 04:17 PM
2

The problem is not men, it's you. Sure, there are lame men out there, but they're not really standing in your way. Because the fact is -- if whatever you're doing right now was going to get you married, you'd already have a ring on. I feel like this was the best takeaway from the article, taking responsibility for what you are doing wrong rather than blame men. The main idea is good, but her advice on how to act on it should be taken with a grain... no, heck, a whole shaker of salt.
/r/RedPillWomen26/10/15 09:12 PM
3

Seriously, I had to double-take when I read that! As a side, I can't stand when people compare us "normal" people to Hollywood stars and think we should emulate them. These celebrities live in such a different world than we do, it's doesn't make sense to think "well if it worked for Angelina Jolie it should work for me!" Yeah, but she's Angelina Freakin' Jolie and you're an out-of-shape 36 y/o who's made some not-so-great life choices...
/r/RedPillWomen26/10/15 09:09 PM
3

just work on yourself, change what you have complete control over, be willing to put in the work, be the best you can be, and things will just... somehow fall into place. So true! I think we often underestimate the impressions we give others. Having this outlook of improving yourself will bring you happiness, and people (men and women) are drawn to that more than anything else.
/r/RedPillWomen23/10/15 04:14 PM
6

I've always been the girl who wasn't satisfied with "casual" dating and dreamt of marriage to a wonderful man and raising a family. This dream hasn't changed, but I recently came across a big turning point when it came to my idea of dating. Look at whatever you want most - be it a job, a man, a nice house, a new dress, whatever - as something to ADD to your life, not COMPLETE it. As you said OP, when a girl has her life together she gives off confidence rather than desperation, which is deadly t…
/r/RedPillWomen23/10/15 04:12 PM
3

You're very welcome! And remember, you're 22 - you have a lot of life ahead of you so don't get too anxious about finding a long-term relationship! :)
/r/RedPillWomen22/10/15 09:47 PM
3

You did well handling the break up by being understanding and moving on. Whether or not what he told you were his true reasons, the fact is he did not want to continue the relationship. You can sit there and dwell on what you could've done differently but it's not going to change that fact. I am really disappointed that I've failed with it I'm assuming that while you were together, you were his "goddess of sunshine and light" (or whatever the term is)? Meaning you nurtured both him and yourself,…
/r/RedPillWomen22/10/15 09:23 PM
4

Christian woman here (honestly I could've been the chick in this post). I know it's tough for guys like you who pedastalize women to realize this, but sex isn't all one-sided. Guys who get girls don't have to "manipulate" or "hunt" them. Every man a woman sleeps with, she made the conscious decision to do so (aside from rape). In OP's case he tried to escalate, the girl denied. I say good on OP for improving his game and good on her for sticking to her guns. Also, you imply Red Pillers are disre…
/r/TheRedPill09/10/15 04:32 PM
2

Thanks for sharing this, it reminded me of how far I've come and how far I need to go! I used to be the same in terms of the date-planning. Part of it was beta exes, but it was mostly my need for control. I realized that the RP relationship I want will require me to be patient and let him lead. Best of luck to you!
/r/RedPillWomen06/10/15 12:19 AM
5

Sometimes I'm too jaded, too cynical, and too distrusting of people's intentions. I want to redirect my thoughts to loving ones... What is the point of focusing on the poisonous 'what-ifs' and uncertain thoughts? Glad I'm not the only one with these thoughts! It's so easy to fall down the rabbit hole of negative thinking. The best way I've found is to be as logical as possible, focusing on the reality of what's happening.
/r/RedPillWomen05/10/15 07:37 PM
6

Physically: Last week I didn't go to the gym once. Managed to keep my weight down with eating choices, but that's still something I need to keep up on. As of Saturday, I've committed that I will work out every day for at least 30 minutes, which is entirely manageable (unless I have social engagements after work). Emotionally: I've been seeing someone for a little over a month now. Last night we agreed to be bf/gf. He is an amazing person and I'm lucky that he wants to pursue a relationship with …
/r/RedPillWomen05/10/15 06:39 PM
3

This is so right. I used to be very needy and controlling in relationships, and you know what it got me? Betas who couldn't lead if they tried and men who'd jump ships once they saw the red flags I was waving. I've improved in calming my anxieties and being more submissive. In other words, I became more feminine. In the past few months, I've been on dates with 3 guys who took charge and were comfortable being "the man". You attract what you put out, so the best you can do is be the woman a good …
/r/RedPillWomen29/09/15 04:39 PM
14

This is true for most any college course (aside from the math/sciences). It's not worth getting in a fight with the professor over, and moreover it's not one you'll win easily. Best you can do is keep up the BS-ing. Also, in my school at the end of every quarter/semester, they had online reviews for you to "rate" the class and professor. These are a much better way to express your opinion.
/r/RedPillWomen28/09/15 10:49 PM
2

I tend to find female bachelor parties are either extremely tame and lame, or way the fuck overboard Three recent bachelorette parties amongst my friend group: a "regular" strip club (with female strippers), Disneyland, and a drag show.
/r/TheRedPill28/09/15 05:12 PM
1

The point is that the level of romance the dates has nothing to do with it. It's entirely dependent on the guy they went with. I agree, although your example shows two different actions (i.e., diner vs. Eiffel Tower) as well as guys. This doesn't make them as comparable. If I may offer an alternative: Imagine she goes to dinner with either guy and she ends up paying. When it's with Chad: "we had such a great time!!! :)". When it's with Billy: "ugh his broke ass didn't even pick up the tab, what …
/r/TheRedPill26/09/15 12:26 AM
14

Great post. It all stems back to what modern feminism wants us to forget: Men and women are different - in their needs, skills, value, etc. Many women today have fallen under the feminist spell that they can act as men do and have the same success in life. She'll be promiscuous in her younger years and wonder as she crashes into the wall why a "good" man she can settle down with hasn't come her way. It's because men's behavior works for what they're going after (sex), whereas true feminine behav…
/r/TheRedPill25/09/15 06:41 PM
2

The Feminist will look at the Feminine woman’s calm surrender as a display of weakness... This is not the case. The Feminine woman’s display of submission is merely a lack of Female Ego to protect. The Feminine woman is so genuinely confident in herself that she doesn’t need to win petty arguments with men to prove her worth- this is true female confidence. I think this is what people overlook when they look down on feminine/RP women. We don't submit because we're weak and/or stupid or need some…
/r/RedPillWomen25/09/15 06:31 PM
2

Your mom's advice on that whole Valentine's situation is perfect - I'm saving that to reference later! Similar to what another commenter said, if a day is special for you, you should put effort in to make it great. It's not fair to put the responsibility of your happiness solely on other people.
/r/RedPillWomen18/09/15 06:23 PM
4

Men are the gatekeepers of commitment, women are the gatekeepers of sex. Those are the "values," if you will, of each gender. For this reason, women who give away their value for little/nothing (as in, without commitment) in return are not LTR material.
/r/RedPillWomen18/09/15 12:09 AM
2

I won't do it. There could be special extenuating circumstances of course. But I'm against living with a man outside of marriage. IMO it adds unnecessary messiness/drama and temptation to a relationship.
/r/RedPillWomen15/09/15 10:56 PM
3

I agree completely, I was speaking in terms of a single parent and the person their dating. Obviously if I were to date a single dad, I would in no way expect to be put ahead of his child - in fact if he did, that'd be a big red flag. What I meant to say: Being with a single parent is a package deal - him and his kid(s). Becoming serious would mean effectively taking on the responsibilities as both a girlfriend AND a mom. I'm not ready to be a mom and so would not be comfortable with dating a si…
/r/RedPillWomen15/09/15 10:32 PM
2

Age: 25. Relationship status: Single and looking ;) 1) Yes, marriage is and always will be the main goal for me. It comes from my faith - marriage is a living example of the love between Christ and the church. In my mind it's the ultimate commitment and love you can have with someone. I wouldn't be willing to settle for anything else (LTR only). 2) Yes I want to live with my SO. The goal is to be a family and raise children, which would be difficult if we lived separately. 3) Yes I want children…
/r/RedPillWomen15/09/15 09:43 PM
7

You're asking if you're good enough for her, a girl who's sleeping around with God-knows-who while refusing birth control in the hopes of getting knocked up and having her financial future taken care of in the process. Yes, she's a manipulator and the question "was I good enough for her?" shouldn't even enter into your mind.
/r/TheRedPill14/09/15 09:51 PM
7

What if she kept you around solely for that purpose If she's keeping you around, you're doing this wrong.
/r/TheRedPill14/09/15 09:39 PM
7

Thanks! I wasn't sure about the rules here.
/r/TheRedPill10/09/15 10:25 PM
10

You couldn't be more right. I'd share an example I encountered recently but I feel I'm already pushing my luck by commenting here. EDIT: Received permission, example away! I received a 6 paragraph (you read that right, 6) from a guy on a dating site, saying he liked my profile and the reasons he thinks we'd get along, etc. etc. No communication prior to that. I was taken aback, it being way too much detail from someone I didn't know. Trying to be nice I replied - we did have a lot in common and …
/r/TheRedPill10/09/15 09:51 PM
11

[I know we're not supposed to start comments with "as a woman" so I'll delete this if needed.] She's still coming off bluntly, meaning she's already down to communicating from a male perspective I didn't even realize I did this until I read her responses here. Texts to guys I'm not interested in are short, abrupt, to the point, no efforts to prolong the conversation (in fact doing anything possible to shut it down)... Has this been pointed out before as something women do? He goes to [College]. …
/r/TheRedPill10/09/15 09:33 PM
8

Which gives her the greater benefit? His career. Therefore that's where her attention is going to be focused.
/r/TheRedPill10/09/15 07:27 PM
23

On top of it all, she's let herself go physically and has put on weight and refuses to go to the gym. She wants wants wants but isn't willing to put any effort in (in this case, maintaining her appearance to be attractive for you). Find someone willing to contribute to a relationship.
/r/TheRedPill10/09/15 05:18 PM
7

I would say one hard thing about leading a submissive life is when your single and looking for a man to trust as your Captain. Submitting to just any guy doesn't work (I learned from experience) and filtering the "betas" from the "alphas" isn't easy. It's inspirational seeing everyone's positive comments here - I look forward to the day I can fully "surrender" to my SO! :) EDIT: I realized alpha and beta aren't the best terms for what I'm trying to express. Basically some guys are comfortable le…
/r/RedPillWomen04/09/15 08:10 PM
1

Your "lessons learned" are very helpful! Sorry you had to go through all that doubt and worry to figure them out, but they are good things to keep in mind. :)
/r/RedPillWomen03/09/15 04:39 PM
3

ISFJ-T, by this test. ISFJs are true altruists, meeting kindness with kindness-in-excess and engaging the work and people they believe in with enthusiasm and generosity.
/r/RedPillWomen02/09/15 11:15 PM
3

Thank you both for this. I'm an educated woman (bachelors) currently working a job that could make a great career if I chose to do so. My goal however is to someday be a wife and mother. I've had people ask why I put so much work into a degree/job that I'm just going to "give up". They don't understand that what it provides can be applied in a homemaker setting. Also, if I had a penny for everybody (man or woman) who studied in a given major and ended up having a job in a totally unrelated field…
/r/RedPillWomen01/09/15 11:40 PM
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