amb56 Archive

Upvotes	Title	Category	Author	Subreddit	Date (UTC)

Upvotes	Comment on	Subreddit	Date (UTC)
44	Controlling thirstiness/lust is one of the most important components of being an attractive man This is really good, and important on essentially a spiritual level. I’ve been struggling with lust, but I’m in a relationship so the guilt from feeling the lust is doubled. I spend a lot of time in the gym and seeing perfect bodies and comparing my them to my gf is horrible behavior that I have a hard time controlling. Im guessing growing up with a porn addiction is a huge component of that lust. Just venting, thanks for this awesome write up.	/r/seduction	21/03/24 11:55 PM
9	Treat dating as a social experiment where fun and honing social skills are the sole objectives. Detaching completely from expectation gives you power. Same, it’s so much easier to pull when I meet someone and think “she’s cute but I don’t think I’d date her” as opposed to seeing someone that’s really my type.	/r/seduction	04/05/23 12:39 AM
17	Caffeine, Alcohol, and Porn: some of the most detrimental contributors to social anxiety are also the most accepted by society Exact same story here, just hit a year at 23yo myself. Congrats! May we both figure out how to do this dating shit sober	/r/seduction	31/10/22 07:52 AM
0	How can I have an abundance mindset if no girl wants me? What kind of question is that man? I’m just trying to be helpful because I can relate to what you’re saying.	/r/seduction	29/10/22 01:23 AM
0	How can I have an abundance mindset if no girl wants me? Well not in a month, but you’ll get there. Progress is slow but it’s still progress. I’m a late bloomer too with everything related to social skills.	/r/seduction	29/10/22 01:15 AM
6	How can I have an abundance mindset if no girl wants me? It’s kind of a chicken or the egg scenario. A quote I heard is “you cant think yourself into a new way of acting, but you can act yourself into a new way of thinking”. In a way, yes you do need wins and the mindset will follow, at least that’s true for me. On the contrary, positive social interactions in general help out my abundance mindset, not just doing well with women.	/r/seduction	29/10/22 12:15 AM
5	Women can be extremely fickle with their emotions when you first get to know them. Understand and accept this before you project romantic fantasies onto someone you barely know What do you guys do when you’re feeling discouraged after all the “no spark” or “don’t see this going anywhere” messages? I’ve been on 6 first dates in the past couple months and with five of them there was no second date. I know looks aren’t an issue for me, and though I sometimes feel awkward on the first date, I had a good time and felt good connection on every date. With the most recent date I was totally guilty of projecting romantic fantasies on her, as you mention, and that made it sting …	/r/seduction	24/10/22 08:04 PM
1	What should I do? The ball is in her court. If she’s interested she’ll reply something at some point, but don’t worry about that. You just met her, no need to invest any energy into that.	/r/seduction	11/10/22 01:31 AM
25	Do you ever feel like its too much pressure to be good in bed as a male? Underrated advice. Porn fucks up my sexual insecurities	/r/seduction	04/10/22 05:28 AM
4	What matters the most for a man? Dude, nothing is as important as being comfortable and confident in who you are as a man. We all have our quirks and shortcomings—we have to own them because they’re part of who we are. I was a football captain throughout high school, played college ball, super fit, dressed decent, but couldn’t pull women for the life of me because I was insecure and couldn’t put myself out there to develop confidence and social skills. Regarding confidence, fake it till you make it is legit. The more fuck ups a…	/r/seduction	26/09/22 11:51 PM
45	This shit easier than I thought Forcing yourself to do the things that give you anxiety tend to greatly help alleviate those anxieties over time. Ask the girl out, you’ll do great.	/r/seduction	23/09/22 05:26 AM
3	Is intelligent conversation generally a turnoff? Lmao this is so true. I’m super passionate about modding cars and engineering stuff but if I talk about it early on in the dating stage for more than 0.5 seconds, even when asked about my hobbies, the girl’s eyes will immediately glaze over and I’m almost guaranteed a “didn’t feel a spark” text the next day.	/r/seduction	19/09/22 05:10 PM
1	How long should I wait before asking this girl to be my girlfriend If you want to not be needy, don’t bring it up. In my experience the less you talk about a future together, the better, that is until you are in love and committed. 4 dates is too soon IMO. If she really likes you, she’ll bring it up in due time. Until then just keep the focus on making dates fun, making each other laugh, hooking up, etc.	/r/seduction	12/09/22 03:00 PM
1	Would you prefer a relationship or having a bunch of casual sex with tons of women ? Relationship man. The sex is way better and feeling actual love is awesome. OLD is exhausting, I need to find ways to start putting myself out there in person.	/r/seduction	05/09/22 03:19 AM
3	Has "one girl a day" approach worked for anyone here? It’s kind of an exposure therapy thing. Yes you need to gain experience talking to the 9s that make you nervous in order to break that nervous mindset. But it’s also important to be charming and talk with people you aren’t necessarily attracted to. In my experience this helps keep the social ‘momentum’ going, so to speak.	/r/seduction	02/09/22 05:51 PM
10	How to approach without giving out a thirsty vibe? This is good stuff. It’s not about what you say, but how you come across. We should go into relationships and interactions to give, not for our own gain	/r/seduction	05/08/22 01:17 AM
5	Never devalue yourself after rejection! Dude I felt the same way about a straight 10 that rejected me after 1 date recently. Banter was good, lots of touching, making out by the end…. And I got the “didn’t feel a spark” text when I asked when she was free next. It’s easier said than done but you really gotta learn to not take rejection personally. It absolutely does NOT mean the work you do is all for nothing; it’s simply a fact that not every women is going to be into you. That doesn’t mean anything bad about you! Next girl is right …	/r/seduction	31/07/22 03:32 PM
36	Never devalue yourself after rejection! A girl that rejects you is basically doing a favor by being direct with it. You can’t force attraction, so if it’s not gonna happen it’s better to know. It may sting, but it’s better than a girl playing along and being nice to avoid hurting your feelings, despite knowing the attraction isn’t there. Rejection allows you to move on quicker	/r/seduction	30/07/22 11:40 PM
1	Just had another ONS and I'm starting to doubt that the lifestyle is for me I’ve read a handful of those and they’ve definitely upped my inner game big time. Do you mostly cold approach or social game or OLD or what? I’m just getting back into all this and I’d love to be talking to 5 girls at once. Although I’m kind of with you, casual sex can feel pretty empty	/r/seduction	29/07/22 04:44 PM
9	Unpopular opinion: I hate the "chase" Yup. OP needs to find girls that are into him. Makes the chase easy and minimal, just touching base to make dates until they start chasing you.	/r/seduction	29/07/22 02:19 PM
2	Misreading signs? OP do this. She’s probably just being nice for work, I’ve misread the same signals before, but some banter is worth a shot.	/r/seduction	27/07/22 11:22 PM
3	what to do if a guy hits on the girl you're with at a bar or club Dude, women are like cats. They won’t stick by your side the whole time, they kinda come and go as they please. Don’t chase after her and don’t be jealous or intimidated of the other guys. If anything, the “alpha” thing to do is take an interest in the other guys just like she will. Banter with them, don’t get all cold if she flirts with someone that isn’t you. Just be buddies with the other guys. Talk to other women too. If this girl is really interested in you she’ll wander and come back. Give…	/r/seduction	26/07/22 06:51 AM
2	What hobbies have the most women in their 20/early 30s? Good idea. I lift weights, but I’ve been considering signing up for some yoga classes.	/r/seduction	22/07/22 05:05 PM
86	What hobbies have the most women in their 20/early 30s? I hate how true this is. When I’m delving into the gym and my hobby as much as it takes to make me content, I end up lonely due to lack of time.	/r/seduction	22/07/22 03:29 AM
1	I love what this community has done for me. I’m in a bit of a reinvention period too, though a bit younger than you. I wanna double my body count! Was it mainly a social circle game for you? I get matches and dates through online dating but it’s wearing me out to get the “didn’t feel a spark” texts. Much prefer meeting girls IRL as it’s easier to read attraction but my logistics and living situation don’t work well to get laid (sober living with a bunch of dudes). Anyway congrats man, glad this stuff is working for you. It’s a gradual cha…	/r/seduction	20/07/22 01:46 AM
213	Would redditors benefit from a 15 minute conversation with an actual woman? Holy hell is this true. I never developed social skills as a teenager and was a needy insecure gremlin with women. It’s taken so much self development to develop a full life but eventually you reach a point where you don’t need any special “strategies” with dating, you just are naturally fun, secure and non-needy.	/r/seduction	18/07/22 05:20 PM
2	Do You Guys Take Shots Before a Date? Lol I feel this. I liked how booze gave me the strange superpower of being able to talk to women, so I proceeded to become a huge alcoholic. 10 months sober and just started dating again! I find that within 5 minutes of chatting with a new girl, the nerves naturally fade away same as taking shots would allow.	/r/seduction	15/07/22 06:37 PM
2	She doesn’t text back that much why? The best way to get over an old girl is to get under a new one my man! Also, can’t let texting go stale. It’s hard to communicate attraction over the phone, but usually if you like her she’ll know. And if you just keep texting back and forth without asking her out, it kind of communicates being too scared to make a move. Gotta be direct, don’t be ashamed of wanting someone!	/r/seduction	15/07/22 06:00 AM
1	She doesn’t text back that much why? If it’s anything more than a 60-90 minute drive, I’d try to take your mind off this girl. Logistics make this situation pretty tough and you’d be better off finding a girl nearby (easier said than done of course, that’s why we’re on r/seduction lol). If she’s closer than that I’d text her something like: “Look I’d love to keep chatting about (insert relevant witty thing), but it would be better over dinner. When are you free to meet up?” I’d offer to meet halfway or something. Committing to a lo…	/r/seduction	15/07/22 05:56 AM
2	She doesn’t text back that much why? How far? I’ve done long distance with an ex girlfriend, but if you never established anything in person before the distance happened, it ain’t gonna happen. Don’t get caught up hoping to date, especially when conditions aren’t ideal in a situation like this. Are you crushing on this one girl? I’ve done the same in the past so I feel you	/r/seduction	15/07/22 05:47 AM
2	She doesn’t text back that much why? She’s likely not ‘bad at texting’, probably just low attraction, and you can’t force attraction. If she really is just bad at texting, then decide whether you’d be okay with dating a girl like that, or if it’s insecurity causing the desire for quick responses. Telling her you can go separate ways is pretty weak, and that response says she’s probably just keeping you in her back pocket in case you decide to man up and make a move.	/r/seduction	15/07/22 05:43 AM
6	She doesn’t text back that much why? Dude, you gotta be direct and flirty. If you’re attracted to this girl, have the self respect to ask her out. Ask when she’s free to meet. If you get rejected? Well now you know your answer, no need to wonder anymore. Next girl is right around the corner, plenty of fish in the sea and all that. Telling her she doesn’t have to talk to you is the weakest of weak sauces. If she had any attraction toward to you at all, that probably killed it.	/r/seduction	15/07/22 05:40 AM
3	You are f***ed. Dude…. I really don’t mean to be rude by saying this, but your emphasis of the effects of failed approaches sound like projection. I, too, have felt massively insecure and defeated after being rejected, but that was during times in my life where trying to get girls was all I put my energy toward. Can’t put all our eggs in one basket. When you have a well balanced life, rejection doesn’t hurt as bad. Sure we were rejected, but that rejection shouldn’t mean losing our sole source of well being and…	/r/seduction	12/07/22 08:53 AM
21	Ok, I might be generalizing a bit, but is it just me or are a lot of women extremely picky? This is very wise, take notes guys	/r/seduction	05/07/22 07:54 AM
2	Asking to meet up in OLD I struggle with a “drinks” alternative as I’m sober/in recovery. I love taking girls to dinner with fun activities after, but only with girls I know I’m into/are into me. Drinks usually offer an easy starting point where either party can bounce if the connection isn’t there, but it’s not on the table for me to be hanging out in bars. Anyone have any ideas?	/r/seduction	04/07/22 01:02 AM
2	I've finally found the what truly makes me happy - Women In the exact same boat brother, hang in there	/r/seduction	27/02/21 04:07 AM
3	I've finally found the what truly makes me happy - Women Everything you’ve said here is pretty spot on, it’s hilarious how everyone is drawing different conclusions and getting worked up about it.	/r/seduction	27/02/21 04:02 AM
26	Getting over the “I’m not good enough” feeling? This is gold. Comparing yourself to others can really chip away at your own self esteem, and the truth is we all have good things to offer a potential partner. Confidence is all about knowing who you are, what you like, what you want, and owning it. If someone doesn’t like it, oh well. Can’t be compatible with everyone.	/r/seduction	30/04/20 02:33 AM
1	Getting over the “I’m not good enough” feeling? I have struggled with low self esteem and the ‘not good enough’ attitude for years. Recently I’ve broken out of it big time. For me, the two things that helped were adopting a ‘fuck it’ attitude, and rather than worrying about if I’m good enough for a girl, go into social situations seeing if THEY are right, or good enough, for YOU. Fact is, if you are a kind person and at least somewhat interesting, you have the tools to get girls. The rest is confidence and being comfortable in your own skin. …	/r/seduction	30/04/20 02:29 AM
27	My Girlfriend Reacting to my Game Also cut out porn if you haven’t yet	/r/seduction	16/08/19 08:27 PM
16	My Girlfriend Reacting to my Game That was so well put and rings so true for me, especially the part about it being general life skills spilling over into game rather than the other way around	/r/seduction	16/08/19 08:26 PM
23	My Girlfriend Reacting to my Game Do it, being dominant in bed is a huge game changer. Feel like a god damn man too	/r/seduction	16/08/19 08:24 PM
3	Any tips for overcoming anxiety induced ED? Gets you a lot more comfortable with your partner which can help reduce anxiety. But it’s a double edged sword since it can also just give you more time to worry about if you’re gonna get it up or not.	/r/seduction	29/10/18 02:50 AM
1	Any tips for overcoming anxiety induced ED? See my other reply. For me quitting porn and masturbation did wonders for basically everything in my life, including my problems with ED.	/r/seduction	29/10/18 02:47 AM
1	Any tips for overcoming anxiety induced ED? Don’t use that viagra. I’ve heard from many people with ED, whether porn-induced, anxiety induced, etc. it can become a crutch. Just relax as much as possible and focus on sensation, your parts will work eventually. The anxiety really creates a vicious cycle (as soon as you start worrying about if you won’t be able to get it up, it makes it even more unlikely to get it up, which creates more anxiety, rinse and repeat)... But once that cycle is broken it’s an awesome feeling. Just stay away from …	/r/seduction	28/10/18 10:35 PM
2	The Surprisingly Effective Way I Curbed Social Anxiety Thanks. Yeah attending class has never been a problem for me, I just gotta actually interact with my peers while I’m there. I was just introverted and depressed last year especially after quitting my college sport, but my mental health is so much better now so I’m excited	/r/seduction	27/10/18 11:27 PM
3	The Surprisingly Effective Way I Curbed Social Anxiety I am currently in the exact same situation, having the exact same experience. I’m off of college for a semester and started working at a restaurant, and my social skills are getting better every day! My previous job was construction, and while the money was great, it was tough on the body and there was barely any social aspect to it. Now I have a team and lunch rush every day is like a mission! (With lots of social exposure as a bonus of course) My first year of school I had a pretty shitty soci…	/r/seduction	27/10/18 09:50 PM
2	Can’t get over oneitis Fuck it, ask her. She says yes? Boom perfect. She says no? Boom there’s the closure you want, and cut contact. Both options a lot better than waiting and wishing you knew what is going on inside her head. Just gotta have the “fuck it, let’s try” mentality	/r/seduction	22/10/18 01:49 AM
44	How to meet girls at school or college Does this advice still work if I have a white ass? /s	/r/seduction	05/10/18 12:07 AM
1	Why I stopped using Tinder and online dating I’m in that tiny percentage that gets all the matches... I’m just too inexperienced in dating to know what to do with them. Haven’t even met up with any girls I match with	/r/seduction	01/10/18 08:29 PM
1	Someone inspire me to be confident! First off the gym isn't the best place to approach, but that's a judgement call you have to make. Asking others to give you confidence wont do shit. Read through the top posts in seddit if you want a boost. Lastly withhold from porn and whacking off and confidence and mental clarity will improve.	/r/seduction	07/07/17 05:32 AM