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amiaplate Archive

View 2 posts and 37 comments by amiaplate on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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1

Thank you!!
/r/RedPillWomen09/09/15 03:30 PM
1

thank you!
/r/RedPillWomen04/09/15 02:30 PM
3

That sounds like a great sign!
/r/RedPillWomen04/09/15 02:30 PM
1

lean into your discomfort, be mindful of where you are, and learn about yourself in the process. thank you for putting it like this
/r/RedPillWomen04/09/15 02:30 PM
1

Thank you! It's so hard to make sure your heart won't be crushed but I suppose great rewards require great risks.
/r/RedPillWomen03/09/15 04:15 PM
5

Thank you, I'm happy as well!
/r/RedPillWomen03/09/15 04:13 PM
1

As for your fear about "losing years". Well, how accurate is that? If you broke up with this long-term candidate right now it's not like you have another equally good guy lined up and ready to go right? You're right. I really can't imagine anyone better, and I know a lot of people. I've honestly thought to myself that if I were to end things with him, I'd move to another big city for a change for myself but also to simply meet good men. EDIT: This was supposed to be a reply to the comment and no…
/r/RedPillWomen05/08/15 09:17 PM
1

Marriage is a huge risk, so in order to get there you have to take huge risks. Thank you for putting it like that. I've been thinking about this whole thing all wrong. I've been chomping at the bit for 100% certainty and lock down but that's sort of like asking to have my cake and eat it too.
/r/RedPillWomen05/08/15 09:15 PM
1

Thank you, I hope so.
/r/RedPillWomen05/08/15 02:04 PM
1

Thank you! I guess I don't want to put in an initial 1-2 years if he is just using me as a placeholder for someone else because that's 1-2 of my best years that I can't give to my husband if he doesn't work out, but I think I'm willing to take that risk if he keeps treating me well.
/r/RedPillWomen05/08/15 02:03 PM
1

I took this approach before. Girl begged for the girlfriend title right up to the 18 month mark. Hilariously, I was just about to tell her she had passed when she decided to go fuck someone else. I'm sorry this happened to you. Do you mind sharing what type of guy she left you for? If it was some random guy or someone a bit alpha, then she was always a branch swinger and a slut and it was good to hold off on giving her the title. However, if it was someone a bit more beta, perhaps she was not ge…
/r/RedPillWomen04/08/15 02:42 PM
1

No one can guarantee anything other than in the immediate moment. If this is the case, I don't know how you could ever expect a woman to not be insecure all the time. I guess what I'm looking for is to feel like I'm not so expendable and that I am of some value to him other than sex, which I do feel to some extent so I suppose he is treating me well. I think you're right that it is unfair that it might seem I'm expecting him to commit fully so early in a relationship, but I also feel that he is …
/r/RedPillWomen04/08/15 02:25 PM
1

True. I have acknowledged elsewhere in this thread that I like how I feel like I'm constantly striving to be the best woman I can be while trying to win him over. I guess I'm just looking for that balance of having enough security/comfort to stay while still having enough motivation to stay on my toes and be attracted to him. He is definitely alpha, but I'm trying to figure out for myself how strong of an alpha I can handle and I think he gives me just enough comfort to make me want to stay and …
/r/RedPillWomen04/08/15 02:20 PM
1

Thank you. Your comment has been one of the most insightful ESPECIALLY because I broke up with my last LTR at the 18 month mark, although we had been discussing a possible split at about the 15 month mark. Really thank you for taking the time to comment here. I'm not sure he is thinking "at exactly 18 months I'll reevaluate" but I think it is likely that part of what he is thinking is "I want to make sure this doesn't burn out after a significant amount of time."
/r/RedPillWomen04/08/15 02:14 PM
1

Can you describe the split for me? Was it supposed to be a permanent break up? Did she see other men during the split? Did you see other women?
/r/RedPillWomen03/08/15 05:40 PM
1

You're right. I think it's a bad sign that I have these thoughts...that he could leave at any time. The thing is, these feelings definitely encourage me to be the best women I can be because I think they come from the same place my reaction to dread game would be. I guess I need to figure out how much security I need. If I'll always be wanting more from him, then it's not going to work.
/r/RedPillWomen02/08/15 07:14 PM
1

Thank you. I agree that being a girlfriend really isn't any MORE commitment than what we're doing right now. The only difference is that he needs to tell a girl who hits on him that he has a gf instead of that he's seeing someone, and even then, he can still not tell her he has a gf. Either of us can leave the relationship at any time. I think commitment is more in actions- buying assets together, planning vacations months in advance together, getting married, etc. At the same time, I also agree…
/r/RedPillWomen02/08/15 07:10 PM
1

"Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free" Men trade their freedom and bachelorhood for unconditional love, trust, excitement, femininity, love, sex and stability. If all that is there, WITHOUT him having to trade his bachelorhood and freedom, why would he? And, there is a fine line between knowing your worth and acting according to it and manipulating. You can't manipulate a man to do what you want or commit. Thank you. I will say that in being expressly exclusive, he has committed to…
/r/RedPillWomen31/07/15 08:18 PM
2

he may feel attacked if he feels like your concerns about the relationship are accusatory. I always recommend de-personalizing issues i.e. When "X" behavior happens, I feel "Y" and then I worry about long-term "Z". This is very, very helpful. Thank you. I feel like the few times I try to communicate my concerns he takes it as a personal attack and I have to spend the rest of the time explaining that it wasn't instead of actually talking about the issue at hand. It's made me avoid talking about t…
/r/RedPillWomen30/07/15 07:41 PM
6

It is possible that he "gave you commitment" just for sex. He was the first one to bring up exclusivity but I kind of agree this is sometimes what it feels like because we have sex at least once or twice a day and on the weekends it's more. We do other things too, though.
/r/RedPillWomen29/07/15 06:26 PM
2

He is always the one to bring up the words "label", "boyfriend", or "girlfriend" but I always bring up substance. Like I tell him I want to be there for him and essentially take the role of "gf." He also sometimes randomly in the middle of fights about insecurities say "he's not ready" and I constantly ask him exactly what it is he's not ready for because when he says "I'm not ready to be a boyfriend" I'm not sure if that means "I'm not ready to be called a boyfriend" or if that means "I'm not r…
/r/RedPillWomen29/07/15 06:23 PM
3

Yes, multiple times a day. I think I needed to read this. I'll keep this post in mind next time I get into a bad mood about things. This really cheered me up.
/r/RedPillWomen29/07/15 06:20 PM
1

This seems like a sticky situation because he says you're exclusive, but won't call you his girlfriend? To be fair, this is how it played out with my last boyfriend, although he was pretty beta. The thing is, the timetable moved very quickly. He asked for exclusivity (we had actually already had sex...I was not redpill back then), and then two weeks later he said that he wanted to start introducing me as his gf to his friends. I think that is just how things work in my area.
/r/RedPillWomen29/07/15 02:37 PM
1

Exactly. His friends know we're "together" but I know they wouldn't consider him to be in the wrong if he started talking to some other girl or taking some other girl out on dates, even though I would and knows that I would. I'm not even sure his friends know we're sexually exclusive (he is a private person) but I would hope that if he took another girl home one of them would say something.
/r/RedPillWomen29/07/15 02:35 PM
1

The fact that he corrected his friend specifically that you were not his girlfriend is concerning to me. I think if he were simply getting used to the idea of bf/gf and had intentions on being that in the future then he wouldn't have had such a strong reaction. Instead his actions say "don't let her get any ideas". Why not let it go? If you inquired later, he could just say that he felt it would have been awkward to correct him so he let it slide. Just some context for this: His friend texted hi…
/r/RedPillWomen29/07/15 02:31 PM
1

Just to elaborate more on commitment/trust issues: I feel I have never done anything to really break his trust, like cheat on him, and he really has done nothing to warrant my trust issues, either. When we were first dating, I was pretty insecure because a lot of girls like him, and he was a bit insecure because a lot of male friends would hit me up to join their groups at parties/bars. I was naiive and thought girls and guys could be just friends, but I knew even receiving texts from guys made …
/r/RedPillWomen29/07/15 02:24 PM
1

These comments make me have hope. I will say that he said that he didn't see a foreseeable end to us. He also knows that he needs to break up with me formally in order to end things. And, with as much as we hang out and ask questions about the other one's life, I really think I would know if he were talking to or started to date someone else. I know (or at least I think I know) where he is 99.9% of the time and if I don't, he'll tell me later. He also knows where I am 99.9% of the time. The only…
/r/RedPillWomen29/07/15 02:10 PM
-1

no guy wants the girl that is his for the taking. This is interesting. I agree I am definitely there for the taking. Unfortunately I think it would be awkward if I all of a sudden pulled back because I'm already treating him like a boyfriend and hold him in a very high regard and treat him as such. I'm kind of considering not dropping as many things for him but I'm not sure if this would backfire. How do you find a balance of proving/showing your value without giving too much up? I want to give …
/r/RedPillWomen29/07/15 02:02 PM
2

That is just heartbreaking to hear. We've established that we would need to have a formal, in-person break-up conversation to end our relationship so at least I know I won't be blind sided. That is just so aweful though...and I am absolutely putting in a lot of time and energy to prove to him that I'm gf material.
/r/RedPillWomen29/07/15 01:59 PM
2

Thank you. I do sometimes feel like I am a placeholder for now and someone to just have fun with, but I've let him know that my feelings are such that I don't consider us as just casual anymore, and he assured me that if things kept going the way they are going, he didn't really see an end in sight for us. I told him that if he was ever sure that he wouldn't want to be with me in the future, then he needed to let me go, and he said that he didn't and I trust that he would dump me once he figured…
/r/RedPillWomen29/07/15 01:54 PM
2

Thank you for saying this. I have already cut one friend who is really honestly has the worst most feminist, entitled attitude on the planet. I hadn't seen her in a while and then ran into her after I was more sincerely redpill and it was just so shocking and eye opening for me to listen to her unplugged. She told me not to let this guy know that he makes more than me and to not let him get a big head because I'm better than him...which was just ridiculous to hear and led to a fight. She is frie…
/r/RedPillWomen29/07/15 01:50 PM
1

I don't want to talk poorly by saying that he needs to gtfover himself, but sometimes I do have those thoughts because he reminds me a lot that his life is so complicated and he pushes people away when they get too close and more cliches like that but I'm trying to learn to trust him more when he says he's not messing around with me. I do trust him, so that's why I'm not ready to leave. To be completely honest, I think I would feel more secure if he told me that I had a gf role even though I don…
/r/RedPillWomen29/07/15 01:47 PM
2

This is honestly one of my biggest fears. I've asked him if he sees himself marrying a younger woman when he feels ready and established though and he said "helllll no" and he thinks it's important to know your spouse a few years before getting married. My best friend just got married to someone on their third "dating" anniversary and he commented that that was probably too early.
/r/RedPillWomen29/07/15 01:42 PM
1

Thanks. His actions generally say he's committed and he definitely is an action guy. For example, he won't tell me he likes me, he'll buy me a flower or hold me...at the same time, he won't say anything unless he really means it. His "I love yous" are weeks apart and he makes it a point not to apologize to me or his friends unless he truly means it. One time, I saw him take back an apology to a friend because he realized he wasn't sincere. I am starting to learn that I need to cut out friendship…
/r/RedPillWomen29/07/15 01:40 PM
2

I haven't, but the last girl he dated (~6 months, also no gf title) did. He said he's trying to be extra careful because his parents are conservative and he doesn't want them to meet too many girls.
/r/RedPillWomen28/07/15 09:22 PM
2

He has said that he treats the word "gf" in a higher regard than most people. He does say that we're "kind of a couple." The first part is really, truly accurate. In fact, it surprises me that he can be so insecure when we're not committed. I almost feel like we'd have less discussions about that if we did have a label because it would add a sense of security and definite boundaries to the situation.
/r/RedPillWomen28/07/15 09:21 PM
2

I know that's what it looks like, and he thought the same thing, so I showed him the text chain. I frequently refer to him as "the guy I like" because I can't use a label. I mentioned that me and "the guy I like" were on this trip somehwere. One of them said "wait...you haven't made it official yet??" I stood up for him saying "We're taking things slow and he's not seeing other people and that doesn't change the fact that I really really like him." and my friends gave me the "ok be careful..." I…
/r/RedPillWomen28/07/15 09:15 PM
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