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amityjeanklein Archive

View 12 posts and 119 comments by amityjeanklein on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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3

thank you! :)
/r/RedPillWomen28/12/25 03:58 AM
44

An engagement ring! :)
/r/RedPillWomen27/12/25 02:15 PM
6

The beginning is supposed to be the fun part, if you’re already confused and overthinking things then there’s a reason. If he’s sending mixed signals, no he’s not - the signal is clear, and it’s “run”. He also just sounds like a tool, why bring up the beautiful girls he’s dated in the past if not to make you question yourself? It’s a manipulation tactic. Asking for your instagram instead of your number is also a bad sign in my opinion (though I know not everyone feels the same about that). You s…
/r/RedPillWomen21/10/25 01:32 AM
1

I’m so glad I could be an inspiration to you! This subreddit has sooo many great resources. I had forgotten about this post and had a little chuckle rereading it because since it was posted, the woman I mention in the post has become one of my closest friends. So thanks for commenting and giving me another reminder of how quickly things can shift! :)
/r/RedPillWomen16/10/25 05:35 PM
3

He’ll be working remotely (by the time we move in 1-2 years) for a nationwide company. It’s sales based but it’s the biggest corporation in the field so the money is consistent as long as he puts the hours in. I realize that sounds ridiculous, but it’s not as far-fetched as my intentionally vague comments here are making it sound, I promise :)
/r/RedPillWomen26/02/25 11:27 PM
1

Good to know! I’ll definitely look into how this works in our state. :)
/r/RedPillWomen25/02/25 11:47 PM
3

Your last point is big for me and part of why I lean toward nannying. High stress/long hour jobs tend to breed the type of unhappiness and sour attitudes that I want to stray away from; working solo as a nanny would help mitigate that. I actually just used the bucket of crabs analogy to explain why my circle of friends is so small to my man the other day and he agreed with the message. It just isn’t worth risking my mental health or the contentment I find in my relationship for any amount of mon…
/r/RedPillWomen25/02/25 10:03 PM
4

This is actually such a good thought! I had considered Starbucks but the idea of an airline never crossed my mind because I wouldn’t want to be traveling constantly as a flight attendant, not realizing there could be more options than that. His insurance should be solid through his new employer but the idea of having my own secondary insurance would definitely be a comfort in case IVF or anything else is a concern down the road. I think I will definitely look into this, thank you!
/r/RedPillWomen25/02/25 07:30 PM
5

I currently babysit for a couple families and have been considering looking into a full time nanny position. Daycare/preschool jobs here pay so little it feels like a bad move but in the area we’ll be moving to in May there are a lot of well-paying FT nanny jobs to be found. I feel like this aligns well since it will give me more experience with little ones and hopefully help me with this little daydream I have of one day opening a daycare myself. But there is still a barrier to entry in terms o…
/r/RedPillWomen25/02/25 07:13 PM
1

I should have added more context; His job is in finance and will be making over 6 figures, plus we are relocating to a LCOL area where we will be able to live comfortably on his income alone. He is not against me pursuing further education but is not excited about the idea of taking on more debt than I already have from my unfinished degree if we don’t need to. We also want to stay away from the medical field as he grew up in a household of nurses and feels that the hours/stress of the field are…
/r/RedPillWomen25/02/25 05:46 PM
3

Yep, same to this. It’s come up with me and my man but it’s never been a “need to know” thing, more just out of curiosity since we were both mid-late twenties when we met. Not once has it been a source of conflict for us and after the first time it came up it’s never been brought back into the conversation. I have talked to/dated men who were very adamant about knowing it and making judgments about the future of our relationship based on body count alone and, they’re entitled to their boundaries…
/r/RedPillWomen27/12/24 11:24 PM
3

Profile looks like it has been pretty much inactive for 6 months prior to this too… I’d be interested in the answer to your question as well.
/r/RedPillWomen17/12/24 12:17 AM
6

This is obviously a troll post, right? No chance anyone is coming here on purpose to weaponize their ignorance about such a broad topic and then ask the same people they just bashed for advice? “No hate” isn’t a magic spell that can absolve you of any accountability for being hateful. If you’re not a troll, I’d suggest reading some of the posts here and doing 10-15 of actual mental labor beyond typing a search and skimming the first link. No one here thinks it’s as simple as “all men/women are e…
/r/RedPillWomen10/12/24 08:33 PM
2

I’m a third-gen endometriosis diagnosee, both my grandma and mom have 5 children and never had any issues with conception that were beyond the typical scope! My mom has always told me her endometriosis only got better after she had kids, so hopefully that helps ease your mind a bit as well. :)
/r/RedPillWomen10/12/24 04:30 PM
3

My guy is partial to “my love” but I don’t use it too frequently so it doesn’t lose the appeal. We are pretty much “babe/baby/babes” most of the time, but we have a few other pet names that are in rotation. I used to struggle with terms of endearment and feeling clunky/awkward too, so I would call him by his first and middle name, which is familiar and cute but not too saccharine. Just try a few out here and there, see how they feel to you, eventually you’ll find one that works for him and feels…
/r/RedPillWomen07/12/24 06:34 AM
3

A tool used to trim the edges of a lawn, to make it easier to cut the areas where there are things like sidewalks, trees, etc.
/r/RedPillWomen05/12/24 12:41 AM
4

I used to fight the idea of submitting to a man, until I met the man I’m with now. It never felt like it came naturally to me, like it was this clunky accessory I was fighting to keep in place… but now I don’t even think twice about it. To me, submission is an extension of trust. It’s not easy to release control and stop micromanaging when you don’t trust someone; but when you find someone who is safe and worthy of placing your faith in, it’s like taking a deep breath after being underwater. In …
/r/RedPillWomen19/11/24 09:02 PM
3

The thought process that leads you to the goal of “fixing the dynamic” is in itself a masculine way of thinking. The family dynamic is not yours to fix, and you have done everything you could to try at this point anyway, imo. The options you have are to STFU and get used to the idea that you come second on his list of priorities here, or to end the relationship. I’m not saying that you have to do either of those, but you should know that you are likely going to have few other outcomes in this si…
/r/RedPillWomen08/11/24 08:40 PM
0

I used to have a massive crush on a guy who did this to me constantly, and I cringe looking back at how many times I got my hopes up and he never followed through. I tried a few (too many) times to text him the day before and make solid plans before I finally gave up. If he doesn’t get in touch to confirm and you’re not inclined to do that yourself, then I would say that’s not worth a second chance. If you do try to get in touch and he still blows you off, definitely not worth it to try again. M…
/r/RedPillWomen08/11/24 03:46 AM
3

Okay, thank you for clarifying since that makes my advice totally different. If you haven’t slept together yet and he was willing to hang out a third time somewhere public once you expressed that you weren’t going to hang out in his dorm, I’d say that’s a good thing. If you’re both in school, it’s fair to assume he is busy (or tired or not in the mood to go anywhere but still wanting to hang out) and he doesn’t necessarily have purely sexual motivations. A lot of people have the idea that the th…
/r/RedPillWomen08/11/24 03:01 AM
2

Context needed: have you been having sex with this guy at all? did you have sex the first time you met up?
/r/RedPillWomen07/11/24 07:19 PM
16

I used Pinterest to create my own vision board for this. It can take a little while for the algorithm to get the right idea, but I started using search terms like “modest casual work outfits” and just sort of playing around with the searches until I had a better idea of what the style I was going for was. Then it got easier to find pieces that suited me when I came across them. Maybe start with something like “conservative female style” or something to that effect. One thing that really helped m…
/r/RedPillWomen07/11/24 04:18 AM
1

You’re right. I have been recovered for a few years now, and as I recover from the other ED health issues, it gets easier and healthier to notice/correct them. So I guess this could possibly be more ED related than I realized, and just compounding with my genetics/body composition at large.
/r/RedPillWomen01/11/24 07:52 PM
2

Thank you, I really appreciate this. I have been recovered for several years now and while I do still struggle with knowing how my body truly looks, these concerns are more rooted in reality. I’m not saying you’re wrong because I’m sure you have a point, but I’ve also had the fat-holding in my stomach my entire life because I’m built like my dad and he has the same problem. But I will use this comment as a reminder to have more grace with myself. :)
/r/RedPillWomen01/11/24 07:50 PM
1

I’m a victim of baby face, so the jawline struggle is real. I am working on ways to reduce my carb intake, salt is a little tougher because of other health issues I have but I’m sure I could find ways to get the salt I need by healthier means if I looked for options!
/r/RedPillWomen01/11/24 04:11 AM
1

WIM HOF! My partner is a huuuuge fan of this method and keeps telling me to read the book. Cold showers are a tough sell for me but maybe I’ll try to keep a more open mind and see if a better understanding of the overall process resonates for me. Are there any specific supplements you’d recommend starting with?
/r/RedPillWomen01/11/24 04:10 AM
2

Thank you! I’m chuckling to myself now because my partner is always trying to convince me to sauna after the gym, and now I’m going to have to cave and give it a shot after all. Do you try to be in a calorie deficit at all, or more just keeping track of what you’re eating in a general way?
/r/RedPillWomen01/11/24 04:08 AM
2

This is something I’ve been thinking about. I struggled with anorexia for a long time but now that I’m in a better place with that, I feel like it’s safe to try something like this. My partner wants to do 75 hard at the beginning of next year, which he’s done before and had a lot of success with, so I’m hoping to join him in that (with a few adjustments to make it work for me personally).
/r/RedPillWomen01/11/24 02:59 AM
3

Yeah, it gets so old thinking a post might have an actionable approach and then it ends up being just another product being pushed. I don’t take hormonal bc anymore, and I did notice some improvement when I first stopped taking it. I think it’s more genetics for me because my dad has the same problem with holding weight in just his stomach area. Do you have any suggestions for foods to add in or cut out of my diet that you would share? I will definitely be doing some research of my own but I’d l…
/r/RedPillWomen01/11/24 02:57 AM
8

There’s a difference between noticing other attractive people while you’re in a relationship and being attracted to other attractive people while you’re in a relationship, in my opinion. It’s instinctive to us as humans (men or women) to recognize desirable qualities in potential mates. Not one part of me believes my partner suddenly stopped noticing that other women are desirable just because we are committed to one another. But I wholeheartedly believe he loves/respects me enough to not be rol…
/r/RedPillWomen31/10/24 04:59 PM
2

Just revisiting this post and wanted to say thanks for this suggestion! I said it in the edit to the post, but switching to pads basically made my awful painful cramps disappear and I am so thankful for that.
/r/RedPillWomen30/10/24 03:56 AM
6

Reading your post history, you seem very unhappy in this relationship because of a years-long pattern of behaviors on both ends. If you are committed to staying in the relationship, then you are going to have to completely accept that nothing will change outside of you/your behavior and learn how to live with that. You can implement red pill strategies (and I’d suggest you start with the subreddit wiki and read it all, focusing on what resonates with you and seeking more posts/perspectives that …
/r/RedPillWomen12/10/24 07:26 PM
7

This is threading the needle between setting boundaries and passive aggression/being unlikable. It’s not wise to jump headfirst into defense mode as Plan A, especially since OP likes these people and didn’t seem to take their questions offensively. There’s a time and place for snark, but there’s also a way to gracefully redirect these conversations.
/r/RedPillWomen02/10/24 08:58 PM
6

This comment just slapped me in the face. The concept you just laid out makes crystal clear sense and I’m a little embarrassed that I never thought twice when it came to praising my partner for being so much better than my ex. It’s still a comparison and a nagging reminder of the past that he is probably not as keen to hear as I apparently am to share. Anyway, thanks for the reality check and reminder that sometimes I should keep my thoughts inside, regardless of the intent. I’m gonna make a nic…
/r/RedPillWomen01/10/24 10:16 PM
2

And your last line is supposed to mean…? Because you’re here participating as well. Just seems a little out of place to make that comment so I’d be interested in a clarification.
/r/RedPillWomen26/09/24 08:29 PM
7

Love the distinction between privacy and secrecy. Everyone is entitled to having their privacy respected but it’s different from actively hiding damaging things from someone, especially a partner.
/r/RedPillWomen26/09/24 08:24 PM
1

I’m not opposed to or anxious about handing my partner my phone (or vice versa) but I would say no if he wanted to go through it. It breaches trust in my opinion, and if you have suspicions that make you feel like you need to do that then the relationship is not sustainable in my experience. If they’re guarding and getting defensive, I’d be wary but I wouldn’t immediately assume it’s a red flag. People deserve privacy, even in relationships. I answer texts from my partner’s phone but I’d never s…
/r/RedPillWomen26/09/24 08:22 PM
1

I mastered the “clean girl makeup” vibe; spf 30 BB cream, some cream blush, natural brows, mascara, sometimes lip gloss and a tiny bit of brown eyeliner, and a subtle highlight. Takes me 10 minutes tops but it looks very put together while still being subtle and soft. I used TikTok to get the inspo and then just tweaked it as I found what I preferred and worked for me. :) The only thing I do daily without fail is my brows and a little mascara, so even on my lazy days I feel good about having put…
/r/RedPillWomen21/09/24 12:48 AM
3

Your second point is so crucial. Any time my friends ask for relationship advice, I tend to just ask if they would be willing to marry their partner under the assumption that who they are now is who they will always be. If your happiness is contingent upon your partner changing “just this one thing” then you will never be satisfied. Does my man have flaws? Sure, but none of them are such issues for me that I focus on them instead of all the good things he brings to my life. I think that’s what p…
/r/RedPillWomen20/09/24 04:23 AM
1

“cult classic” - as in, very popular among a specific group (here being people who have used this lipstick for years since it was released in 1971 and re-released in 1989); so not literally culty, more tongue in cheek :)
/r/RedPillWomen08/09/24 12:49 AM
2

I have some tea tree so I will def give it a go! Very small world, I’m from not too far north of Lafayette. Love it!
/r/RedPillWomen07/09/24 03:46 AM
2

My mom suggested the exact same thing you did with the douche technique, and I was hesitant because I feel like I grew up being told that douching is the worst thing you could ever do for your hooha… but it’s always worked for her and I know I’ve said before that your advice carries a lot of weight for me in this sub. So guess I’ll add that to the list of things to try after all. Also - this is completely random, but I saw one of your comments saying you went to IU and lived in Bloomington. I sp…
/r/RedPillWomen07/09/24 01:15 AM
5

I use Clinique a lot in my routine, and I agree! My younger SIL is constantly making comments to me and my MIL about how old/outdated anything Clinique is and it drives me crazy - old school is classic and timeless for a reason!
/r/RedPillWomen07/09/24 01:05 AM
5

Firstly, I think you have a solid plan here and if you stick with it then you will be in great shape! As a former cluster b gal myself, I’m very grateful to myself for my dedication to nun-mode because it quite literally changed my life. Feel free to check out my post history for the deets there. :) Secondly, this got really long and I apologize for that. Hopefully you find something that resonates with you, and that makes the wall of text worth it! Side note: this could be confirmation bias, bu…
/r/RedPillWomen07/09/24 01:01 AM
1

That is helpful. The whole reluctance to go to the dr thing is something I’m working on, I know it’s not sustainable or responsible but I appreciate that info. :) Will definitely pay attention to the things you’ve mentioned and see if I can make some changes to my benefit. Thank you!
/r/RedPillWomen06/09/24 10:06 PM
1

I don’t generally wear underwear so pads aren’t in my typical rotation, but I may look into getting period undies and using pads on my heavier days!
/r/RedPillWomen06/09/24 06:04 PM
2

I’m going to start by acknowledging that you are 100% correct, but I am considering going to the dr as a last resort. Which is illogical but not when you know the context (which is too personal to share here lol). I wouldn’t call it “abnormal” in the sense that STIs or infection is a concern, so for the moment I am comfortable trying other things before making an appointment (which again I know is probably dumb, but I digress). I do think I’m going to stop using the cleanser for the time being a…
/r/RedPillWomen06/09/24 06:03 PM
1

This is controversial but I don’t wear underwear unless I’m wearing jeans (and then I wear cotton ones). When I first stopped wearing it, I had gotten BV and wanted to see if more air getting to the area would help. I noticed a difference in a positive way and just never went back. Weird but works for me I guess?
/r/RedPillWomen05/09/24 11:33 PM
2

Oh, I thought maybe too good to be true! Maybe I will have to be a big girl and just try them anyway then!
/r/RedPillWomen05/09/24 05:22 PM
1

Boric acid that isn’t a suppository? I could get behind that. I have been told to try the BA sups but I am not thrilled about putting it inside me, pills would be a better alternative for me, I’ll look into these!
/r/RedPillWomen05/09/24 04:36 PM
2

I haven’t had one for a while, I have some past bad experiences that have caused me to avoid going as regularly as I should. It’s probably been a year or so since my last one
/r/RedPillWomen05/09/24 04:34 PM
2

You may have just solved the question of what is going on! I used the free & clear detergent for years with minimal issue and only switched a few months ago when I moved in with new roommates. We all share the detergent now so I haven’t been using the gentler one.
/r/RedPillWomen05/09/24 06:24 AM
1

I switched brands and I feel like the ones I used before were more helpful so I will switch back once I finish these and hopefully see some improvement
/r/RedPillWomen05/09/24 06:11 AM
1

Thanks for responding! I don’t typically have much discharge, which is weird in itself, but who knows. I use a foaming pH cleanser but I feel like it’s more for my own sanity than anything else, but I just finished the bottle so maybe I’ll try to go without for a while and see if that makes a difference. I’m also not prone to infections but am considering a visit to my doctor to rule that out, I lose my health coverage at my next birthday so probably should go while I can anyway. Interesting eno…
/r/RedPillWomen05/09/24 04:30 AM
12

Welcome! Best of luck as you shift your mindset and find your comfort zone and embrace your feminine energy. It truly can make all the difference as long as you are intentional and genuine about the steps you are taking. The best piece of advice I can give you is to take the time to read this subreddit and the resources suggested here. It’s not one size fits all, but you will find what resonates as you go. And perfect timing, as we just got into Back to Basics September! Side note: the term “mas…
/r/RedPillWomen02/09/24 10:32 PM
2

I love this - because SAME. I had never had a legit, defined relationship and as soon as I did my season of nun-mode I met my bf. 5 days after our first date he asked me to be his official gf, and now I just wrapped up confirming plans for our first anniversary trip later this month. Men know what they want and they don’t make ya guess about it!
/r/RedPillWomen06/08/24 04:07 AM
28

As a fellow cluster-B PD girly (going on two years of “remission”!!) - don’t sleep with any of these men. Don’t sleep with anyone for a while, forgetting dating altogether. Get treatment, start journaling, focus on being a strong and positive version of yourself. Put your health first, in the kitchen and the gym. Go to therapy. Prioritize your school and yourself. With our PD, the most volatile trigger is romantic relationships and the easiest way to avoid it derailing your life at such an impor…
/r/RedPillWomen04/08/24 06:32 PM
2

If you go to my profile I have a more detailed post but I really just got honest with myself and started working on habits I wanted to have/improve. I started journaling more productively (Pinterest had some great prompts), going to the gym, swore off DoorDash and started learning to cook simple healthy recipes, and fine-tuned my beauty and self care routines (like I had never done any skin care and used to bleach/color my hair constantly so I learned how to take care of my skin and how to heal …
/r/RedPillWomen03/08/24 10:37 PM
1

YES!!! Nun-mode was a life changer for me. I did about a year and a half of no dating, focusing on myself, and just trying to foster a connection between myself and the life I wanted. It was the best thing I ever did for myself. I now have the best skin/hair routine and health, I no longer struggle with ED tendencies, I like myself… And right as I was starting to feel like I was ready to put myself back out there with intention, I met the man I’m currently with and probably wouldn’t have such a …
/r/RedPillWomen03/08/24 06:26 PM
1

this is helpful, the questions you ask in the first half of your response will definitely be useful in narrowing down options and making sure we are in alignment as to what type of experience we are seeking from a church community!
/r/RedPillWomen30/07/24 06:22 PM
1

specifically a church, we both are in agreement as to what our religious views are and working on our individual relationships with God
/r/RedPillWomen30/07/24 06:20 PM
1

unfortunately we don’t and our social circle is a bit skeptical of religion, apart from a couple who practice a different religion than we do (who have been helpful to talk about things with but obviously not this particular topic as they worship in a different way) but we live in an area where there are lots of different church volunteer groups we encounter so maybe talking to someone like that could be useful!
/r/RedPillWomen30/07/24 06:20 PM
2

this is honestly such a great idea and i will definitely be doing this as a starting point :)
/r/RedPillWomen30/07/24 06:17 PM
2

This is really helpful. I grew up in a church environment I would never return to or raise my kids in, and my partner has never really gone at all, so I think we both are unsure what it would look like to go to church… narrowing it down like this makes so much sense, I can’t believe it didn’t occur to me to do it that way instead of jumping right in and crossing the ones that didn’t work off the list based on experience alone lol
/r/RedPillWomen29/07/24 09:19 PM
1

Thank you, I was hoping I made my point effectively. It would be much easier if it were black and white but then we wouldn’t be able to have such stimulating conversations about the in-betweens, so it’s a necessary evil. Lol
/r/RedPillWomen16/07/24 11:28 PM
1

I’m not sure if it was my comment or the one I was replying to, but there was a removal for Rule 5. It does happen, but I wanted to be sure to word things carefully and avoid making the wrong impression either way!
/r/RedPillWomen16/07/24 11:27 PM
1

OP is an adult, but hasn’t been one for long enough to gain the experience that would save her from confusion in her current situation; ergo the expectation of adult behavior is sort of unavoidably going to be lower here since she is almost a decade behind in terms of the experience the man she’s posting about has. At the same time, this situation she’s in is how most people will gain life experience to have the frame of reference which would allow better behavior and avoidance of similar circum…
/r/RedPillWomen16/07/24 08:06 PM
4

I know, I found it pretty funny that my mind went there too lol! I appreciate you saying that, I feel so lucky to have him too - and it’s way easier to do those little things and think ahead when a relationship is built on mutual respect and appreciation, which makes it so obvious to me why this relationship is so different than others I have been in. I firmly believe this one habit is the main reason we have been together for a year and never had a genuine conflict/fight since we started dating…
/r/RedPillWomen14/07/24 10:44 PM
2

If you had to spend the rest of your life with this man, exactly as he is now and knowing there was no chance of him changing, would you be happy? Just from what you have said in your post, it sounds like you two are just different from one another in this way and both of you think the other person is wrong. Your comments make it clear that you see these parts of who he is as a flaw that needs to be improved on - and I’d guess he feels the same about you in this regard. Would you be willing or a…
/r/RedPillWomen14/07/24 06:34 AM
1

https://www.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/s/QyX1rdFVxS check out this post and then go check out the sub wiki
/r/RedPillWomen13/07/24 02:08 AM
16

Stop panicking and overthinking about the wall. Does it exist? Yeah, to a degree. Does it exist the way you’re imagining, where you wake up one day and are suddenly a repulsive old woman like Mother Gothel in Tangled? Not even a little. Read this subreddit, and try to truly understand it. And for the love of all things, stay away from TRP/men who live by TRP ideas and thought patterns. Don’t hang yourself up on what men think of you, especially men who are hypothetical and feeding your anxiety, …
/r/RedPillWomen13/07/24 12:50 AM
3

I just did this today! I was feeling a little sad and down this morning so popped into the drug store and got some fun press-ons since I haven’t had my nails done in a while and putting them on made me feel so much better. Plus, my boyfriend complimented them and how girly they made me look. :)
/r/RedPillWomen08/07/24 06:09 AM
1

Definitely! I always ask his opinion on clothes/accessories because I want him to like what I’m wearing, too. I wouldn’t wear something he hated because I would feel super uncomfortable knowing he didn’t like it (within reason, obviously, I buy my own clothes so my opinion also matters). I also “manage” my partner’s facial hair to some extent - I know he’d like it longer but he respects my preferences and I’m grateful for that (because he could totally grow a great beard if he tried, I’ll give h…
/r/RedPillWomen26/06/24 04:08 AM
1

I get this one - I think any drastic change to your appearance is obviously a personal choice but should still be discussed if you are in a relationship with someone. If I randomly cut my hair or dyed it jet black without saying anything, I wouldn’t expect my partner to just shrug and move on. I dated someone once who had longer hair than I did at the time and he just shaved it all off one day and thought I was insane for being like “wtf?”
/r/RedPillWomen26/06/24 04:00 AM
3

I think you make a good point about SMV and the transactional view men may have with these things. If my partner and I are close to the same level and I want to start going to the gym more, I could see why he may think he needs to either join me and keep us at similar levels or prevent me from going based on fear/insecurity that I’d get hotter and leave him. Similarly, my current partner would never demand that I do or change something specific about my appearance but when I went to the salon la…
/r/RedPillWomen26/06/24 03:58 AM
1

On the flip of this, I lost weight everywhere EXCEPT my breasts and by the time I got approval for my reduction I looked like a cartoon character. In my case, I had very dense breast tissue that wasn’t gonna budge without surgery. Sooo glad you were able to lose them naturally though! Recovery from that sucked and it’s only been 3 years but I can tell I’ll probably need another reduction down the line… sigh
/r/RedPillWomen25/06/24 11:56 PM
10

This is pretty much my take as well. I think it plays a big role in the “never stop dating your partner” thing, in a sense. When you first start dating someone, you go out of your way to wear their favorite color or do your hair the way it was when they complimented it before so you can impress them and show them the effort you feel they’re worth! This is what the evolved version of those things looks like in a long-term relationship to me.
/r/RedPillWomen25/06/24 11:50 PM
2

I think you make a good point but I’d also like to point out that OP’s boyfriend is studying abroad and isn’t from that culture, so while maybe it is culturally accepted there… it isn’t his culture or the culture his girlfriend in another country lives by. I find that a lot of times the “cultural differences” explanation is perfectly valid but also a but of a scapegoat for disrespect, especially in cases like this. If you’re experiencing another culture alongside your partner, sure go crazy! But…
/r/RedPillWomen25/06/24 11:43 PM
8

The graceful approach to this is to ignore it, maybe gently tell her to knock it off (if you’ve already done this, don’t do it again). She is clearly trying to get a reaction out of you guys and the more you ignore it the less inclined she will be to keep it up. If you cause a scene or have a big confrontation, she will have gotten what she wanted and possibly see it as an opening to make you and/or your fiancé look bad (or who knows what else). Follow your fiancé’s lead and just ignore her. I’m…
/r/RedPillWomen24/06/24 06:53 PM
2

I also struggle with a health condition that sometimes greatly affects my life and other times causes no issues for me at all, and I have dealt with this as well. Obviously your best bet would be to discuss with him and find where his comfort level/boundaries with this type of emotional labor lie; however, I can offer you my input here. My partner is healthy as a horse and can be a little insensitive to my health issue - not intentionally, he just doesn’t always get it. I am fortunate to have fe…
/r/RedPillWomen14/06/24 10:23 PM
3

Honestly, this is such a great way to put that. I think you are absolutely right and having it phrased this way makes it make so much sense to me.
/r/RedPillWomen07/06/24 12:28 AM
2

I haven’t met him, we are working to arrange a visit soon but we live across the country from each other so it’s tough. We have briefly spoken on facetime but obviously it isn’t the same. From what she tells me he seems stable, he does have a few things in his life that would be dealbreakers for me but they aren’t for her and that’s okay. He is very good to her from what she tells me which I am glad to hear and nothing has given me any alarm bells of abuse/toxicity so far which is reassuring. It…
/r/RedPillWomen06/06/24 11:36 PM
5

I love this response. I have struggled with similar and DBT therapy was hugely impactful - you can get the workbooks on Amazon and since it’s most self-guided it mitigates the issue of expense for mental health care. I am so glad you have that relationship and that it gives you the space to explore and work on healing. <3
/r/RedPillWomen06/06/24 11:29 PM
2

I fully agree, and my concern doesn’t lie in the fact that she’s developing these beliefs; more so in the why, which I sort of explained in some of my other comments. I do truly want this for her and I want her journey to be full of love and not pushback from me or anyone else.
/r/RedPillWomen06/06/24 10:59 PM
6

For me personally, a lot of journalling helped with this. I’m not perfect and still have moments where I feel attacked by people just trying to help, but it’s getting easier. It helps me to remind myself that the person (in this case, your boyfriend) is someone who cares for me and has my best interests at heart so their suggestions aren’t necessarily meant to criticize or harm me in anyway. Daily gratitude lists also help me, I find when I’m in a more grateful mindset it’s easier for me to see …
/r/RedPillWomen06/06/24 10:57 PM
2

Thank you <3 I try to be, I’m lucky to have her too!
/r/RedPillWomen06/06/24 08:53 PM
3

My issue mostly is that she tends to morph herself into whatever she thinks her current partner at any given time wants and often loses herself in the process. We have been friends since kindergarten so I have seen this play out many, many times and it hurts me to see her get her heartbroken - that being said, we are in our mid-20s now and this is a time when changes like this are expected! I do think this relationship is good for her and I have a lot of positive things to say about her partner …
/r/RedPillWomen06/06/24 06:19 PM
5

It’s worth noting that after her last relationship ended she did struggle with some mental health issues and I have been there for her and am so proud of how she handled and overcame that. It’s entirely possible she’s been on this journey and just not shared all of it with me so it looks more sudden than it is. I do believe her new partner is a great man and a great match for her, I just am very protective since she is like a sister to me and I feel now I may have been overstepping without reali…
/r/RedPillWomen06/06/24 06:11 PM
7

I do think, based on a lot of the responses here, this seems likely. We have plans to chat tomorrow night on our drives home from work so I feel I may ask her to share her thoughts on this with me, she does see me as sort of a “mentor” in the traditional lifestyle so I fear maybe I have taken that too much to heart and not given her enough space to tell me why the shift as much as what she is shifting, if that makes sense. And I really do think this is a positive thing for her and absolutely wan…
/r/RedPillWomen06/06/24 06:05 PM
3

This is a really good point and something I have considered in this situation. I feel like it is really sudden and out of character for her but everyone’s path is different, I was single when I started shifting my beliefs towards traditional but maybe I would have gotten there quicker if a traditional man had come along as I was doing so. I appreciate the perspective! I am in a relationship with a man who shares my mindset, we’ve been together about a year and are starting to nail down our timel…
/r/RedPillWomen06/06/24 05:29 PM
4

Truthfully, no. I’d love if I had had that impact on her but just before this relationship she was still doing/saying the same things… I suppose it could be possible she just wasn’t ready to admit to starting to come around to this way of thinking, though. We don’t live close or see each other often so there is probably lots that we miss in each other’s lives despite speaking on the phone daily. I think I may need to just mind my business, as I’ve pointed out my concerns in (what I feel are) con…
/r/RedPillWomen06/06/24 05:24 PM
2

Ah, thanks so much!! So glad to be a part of such a supportive community:)
/r/RedPillWomen01/06/24 07:26 AM
6

Yes!! It’s crazy how much of an impact it can have on both of us and the relationship. Seriously amazes me how different this relationship has been compared to others I’ve been in and the key really is just grace and respect for each other :)
/r/RedPillWomen30/05/24 05:58 PM
4

Precisely! He has always been true to his word and always there for me when I need him, so I’m super glad I was able to talk myself down some and give him the grace he deserved here.
/r/RedPillWomen29/05/24 11:51 PM
3

Thank you for linking that post! I had just saved the Basics post to go and reread but hadn’t seen that one yet - great read and great suggestion for this post, too!
/r/RedPillWomen03/02/24 01:54 AM
5

Oh, wow, thank you! I love coming here and all the support/guidance I find, so happy to be able to share my success with everyone! <3
/r/RedPillWomen16/01/24 07:29 PM
2

Thank you <3
/r/RedPillWomen15/01/24 06:31 PM
6

Grace and gratitude have been two of the most crucial parts of all of this for me, I think there is sooo much beauty in being gracious and so much joy in being grateful. I agree - I tell him all of this as much as I am able to because it really is important to make sure your partner knows what they are doing is seen and appreciated. <3
/r/RedPillWomen15/01/24 06:30 PM
2

Absolutely! Part of “fixing” yourself and healing is knowing yourself and knowing what your limits are/what you’re ready for. I did months of therapy before I felt even close to ready to put in all the self work I did, and it was still so hard even with that preparation. Thank you for sharing and for bringing this point up, I hope you are doing as well as you can be now. <3
/r/RedPillWomen15/01/24 06:28 PM
6

Yes, of course! I totally get that too, I figure sharing my experience is never wasted if even one person reads it and feels seen for that moment! Thank you! I really am, and it feels so great to be able to say that I’m proud of myself and mean it. <3
/r/RedPillWomen15/01/24 04:46 PM
5

Hey! I’m glad you found my story inspirational. I’d love to do something like sharing online but I don’t know if I have the time or the drive to commit to an online persona. Definitely an idea though! Maybe one day… To me, RPW is whatever you make of it. When it first started it was definitely more about how to thrive in a traditionally-focused relationship and I think that’s still the core of it for a lot of people but it’s so much more than that. As the term “red-pilled” has gone more mainstre…
/r/RedPillWomen15/01/24 03:59 PM
7

I focused on a few specific things, and found some good creators on youtube/tiktok/podcasts as well as a few books that aren’t wholly related to RPW but were useful to me. Awwlexis on youtube and tiktok was helpful for tuning into feminine energy and using it to elevate all kinds of things from my fashion to my mindset Thais Gibson has great videos on youtube (@ThePersonalDevelopmentSchool) that helped me recognize and heal my attachment wounds, which was a gamechanger for me once I understood w…
/r/RedPillWomen15/01/24 03:32 PM
12

Thank you! When I first started, I really had to talk myself down from thinking I waited too long and was too late to make any worthwhile changes. Once I got my mental health under control that got easier, though. UGH I’M GLAD YOU ASKED. I could talk about him and this topic in specific for houuuurrrrrssss. On our very first date, he was really transparent about where he was in life; he had just gotten thru a similar rough patch to my own and had devoted time to becoming stronger/better than tha…
/r/RedPillWomen15/01/24 03:15 PM
5

Thank you, it was not a fun ride all the time but it was so worth it. Just be gracious with yourself and know your path will become clear. If you need anything, like specific accounts/books/etc that I used or just need some kind words feel free to reach out (if the rules here allow that, if not then you can also just reply to this comment too!) <3
/r/RedPillWomen15/01/24 02:15 PM
9

l touched on this in my other comment but I’m glad you asked because I love sharing. :) When I found RPW, I was at the lowest low I had ever been at. I had dropped out of college and spent nearly two years doing nothing but working the bare minimum amount to survive on bartending tips, smoking weed til I couldn’t form a thought, and convincing myself the dude who was using me for convenient sex and free drugs was The One (despite him constantly and very publicly sleeping w other people and telli…
/r/RedPillWomen15/01/24 02:10 PM
25

More background if you want it: (sorry for format I’m on mobile) I lost weight and kept it off by cutting out fast food and delivery services, no longer buying frozen/junk food, cooking simple meals at home; in the gym, I followed videos from celeb trainers on Instagram and eventually found a friend who is a huge gym rat and they helped me create a program (sounds daunting, but literally it was just finding exercises/machines I felt comfortable with and then using them to weight train 3x a week …
/r/RedPillWomen15/01/24 09:19 AM
5

Funny enough, before I left for work today I looked at him and gave him a quick flash and he was pretty amused by that lol
/r/RedPillWomen16/11/23 01:42 AM
2

You’re so right. I have actually backed off somewhat the last day or so and it definitely seems like he’s less tense when he’s telling me what he needs as opposed to me asking. I think I got overzealous in caregiver mode and forgot he’s just immobile not incapable! I’d be frustrated in his shoes in that case, too!
/r/RedPillWomen16/11/23 01:41 AM
2

Yes, key words being “can be” :) Mostly I like stuff that’s easy so when it’s not as fully under control it’s still doable to stay tidy, and personally it being well-managed is great but doesn’t get rid of every little “quirk” (like I find money hidden all over because I’ll put it up “for safe keeping” if I have extra cash and then forget all about it!) But consistently watching videos that focus on that sort of thing keeps it in the front of my mind so when I have off days that isn’t the first …
/r/RedPillWomen02/07/23 06:31 PM
1

I absolutely agree - before I saw this in myself, I was miserable and tired of repeating the same mistakes (especially in dating). I just had zero faith/trust in myself to the point that any worthwhile man would never have given me the time of day (and I’d have self-sabotaged if he did). Being more conscious of this, actively checking in with myself, and educating myself on things that matter has been so positive for me and I can see how much it’s improving my judgment when it comes to potential…
/r/RedPillWomen02/07/23 01:02 PM
3

It definitely has merit and I’m glad it was helpful to you! On the flip side, I read the book at the same time as a former partner (who was avoidant) and they were put-off by some of the content and the bias I mentioned so I imagine it’s really an “eye of the beholder” situation in that regard. I hadn’t seen the criticism or the author’s later comments about it until recently, so I just thought it would be worth mentioning alongside your recommendation. I agree that it’s still worth a read for p…
/r/RedPillWomen02/07/23 06:32 AM
4

Interesting take. Personally, I find that the energy I’d put into judging/condemning other people is better spent elsewhere. Negatively viewing the choices/actions of people against my own beliefs just brings my vibe down… to be fair, I would consider myself “the villain” when I was in my blue-hair, septum-ring, feminist “hot girl” era though. Poor little me just had no idea about anything!
/r/RedPillWomen02/07/23 04:53 AM
2

Yes exactly! I lived on my own from 20-22 and was hopeless at it, my priorities were so out of wack that I was barely home enough to really care what it looked like or learn how to make it somewhere I looked forward to being. Basic is definitely what I need there. Thank you for your response (and all your work on this sub - I always look for your name when reading here!)
/r/RedPillWomen02/07/23 04:43 AM
2

I’ve never used YT shorts but I may give it a try! I do get a lot of reels/tiktoks that are cleaning-focused and don’t follow the specific creators so maybe engaging more with that content in general will help bring more of it in too! I’m moving to my own place soonish so I figure I will learn a lot then too, I’m sure “immersive learning” when living with a partner is the quickest way though! Thank you! I have been having the best time with it, it’s sort of addicting in that the more growth I do…
/r/RedPillWomen02/07/23 04:41 AM
2

i would recommend reading more/other materials re:attachment than just that book, reason being that book is very negative about Avoidant attachment and even the authors have spoken about writing it from a place of personal bias. I really suggest Thais Gibson’s youtube/podcast “Personal Development School” as a strong and largely unbiased resource (the program itself is purchasable but there’s tons of free information and videos from her as well!)
/r/RedPillWomen01/07/23 09:36 PM
5

Smoke doesn’t always mean fire; OP gives several reasons for a “less than 5%” change in her husband which are much more likely culprits for strife than infidelity. In any case, jumping directly to worst case scenarios instead of reflecting on outside factors and/or aspects of the relationship that could be improved on is a recipe for disaster; totally understand why that would be an instinct but it’s based in insecurity and a lack of trust that OP’s post didn’t indicate. “Cheating happens,” sure…
/r/RedPillWomen30/06/23 01:18 PM
12

really take the time to read the sidebar and all of the information there and skim/search the sub for specifics! there’s tons of great info nicely organized and accessible for newbies, it’s what I did and what most comments will inevitably suggest if you make multiple posts/have lots of questions about rpw as a whole. it’s the best starting point and the easiest way to find the content most applicable to your personal experience/goals. it’s a little more “work” than just posting and hoping for h…
/r/RedPillWomen30/06/23 07:16 AM
2

this is fantastic advice. i have been in the daughter’s shoes and expecting to just “take over” the role she has played for her whole life is unrealistic. letting her feel in control and teaching OP the “right” ways of things will create time to bond and also help daughter feel valued/respected, on top of giving OP room to prove that it’s safe to trust her bc they both love and care for this man. it’s gonna take a lot of patience on both ends but the brunt of responsibility here has to be placed…
/r/RedPillWomen20/06/23 11:07 PM
8

I got here the same way! I was very feminist/tumblr-brain-washed in my younger years (starting at, like, 14?!) and never understood why I couldn’t find a healthy, happy, lasting connection. Finding RPW followed me realizing my desire to be a SAHM and someone’s partner in a more traditional way, trying to find people who related to that, and seeking to understand what a man who shared that desire would be looking for (as well as what I should be looking for in that man). I am currently single, bu…
/r/RedPillWomen10/06/23 06:17 PM
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