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anna_alabama Archive

View 1 post and 388 comments by anna_alabama on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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4

Dominant, aggressive, and nice aren’t mutually exclusive. Also aggressive isn’t the right word, women like assertive men, and there’s a big difference. My husband is very dominant, confident, assertive, and physically imposing but he’s also a huge teddy bear to me. If he weren’t nice, I wouldn’t be married to him. So it’s not an either-or situation.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/07/26 07:50 PM
5

Never
/r/PurplePillDebate17/07/26 01:48 AM
–

I don’t have hip dips but I do have no hips, I’m built like flat stanley lol. Honestly I’ve never heard any negativity about my body even though it’s not the “normal” curvy body type. I think some girls focus on tiny things like thigh gaps or whatever but for the most part there’s a greater variation in what female body types are considered attractive.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/07/26 11:39 AM
–

Extremely rare
/r/PurplePillDebate05/07/26 10:46 PM
11

Realistically I could have anyone I wanted, but I’m just not into sleeping around. Not because of outside factors like relationship prospects, I just know it’s not for me. The only person I’ve ever been with is my husband and I prefer it that way.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/07/26 09:51 AM
10

Most women would rather be alone than end up with someone who isn’t the best partner possible.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/07/26 01:44 PM
12

I dated very intentionally, I was only interested in having one relationship throughout my entire life. So that one person needed to be the absolute best fit for me. I had very high standards because I didn’t want a “this guy will do, I’ll make it work for now” kind of marriage. I wanted the very best or nothing at all. I also have extremely high standards for myself and my life, so I’d be miserable with someone who doesn’t have the same mindset. When only one man on this earth can ever love me,…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/07/26 11:30 AM
–

You’ve completely misunderstood what that phrase means
/r/PurplePillDebate30/06/26 05:07 PM
14

Women will absolutely approach men that they’re interested in. I was the one that pursued my husband. But I think most women aren’t that interested in men to the point of wanting to pursue them. I think a lot of women are coming from the angle of - “I’m not super into him, so I’m not going to approach. But if he’s interested in me, he’ll make a move and I’ll see where it goes”. You have to be a real stand out for a woman to make the first move and most men aren’t real stand outs. So the guys who…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/06/26 11:03 AM
5

I’m inherently skeptical of men due to the abuse and harm some of them have caused me throughout lifetime, it isn’t residual resentment of how men acted in the 1800’s. I’m using my past to make educated decisions about my future, not “punishing men”.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/06/26 05:56 PM
-1

I met my husband when I was 18 and I preferred that he was inexperienced, because I was also very inexperienced and naive. It really just depends on your ages and what stage of life you’re at, as women with more experience are less likely to take on a pet project.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/06/26 04:33 PM
3

I think lot of guys think social media is solely for posting thirst traps because that’s the only content they consume. A random man would never seek out or follow my insta because I dress like a pilgrim and post pictures of golf tournaments and horse girl things… and there’s nothing sexy about that. They don’t realize that the vast majority of women are using insta and facebook to find local events, buy things, follow accounts for their hobbies, etc. We want to be social on social media with ou…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/06/26 08:10 PM
–

I’ve never tried casual but I met my husband on bumble. I wanted to move quickly in our relationship so we went from strangers to boyfriend & girlfriend within 24 hours of meeting
/r/PurplePillDebate13/06/26 03:04 PM
5

Nothing is missing, humans have never had a perfect match rate. More men are reproducing now than they ever have throughout history
/r/PurplePillDebate12/06/26 05:38 PM
4

Yep, while the vast majority of men who want to pair up do, unfortunately it’s not a 100% match rate and it is what it is
/r/PurplePillDebate12/06/26 05:34 PM
5

Most men are married, even the incompetent and unattractive ones
/r/PurplePillDebate12/06/26 05:32 PM
5

The majority of the time women are the ones dating with intent, not men. Women often have timelines for marriage and children from a young age, and date seriously to meet those timelines. Women will leave relationships that aren’t progressing while men will happily coast as a boyfriend for years. I’ve never met a man who said he had a marriage timeline in the same way women do. My husband was the first man I ever met who appeared to be a serious person, and then he showed me that he was through …
/r/PurplePillDebate12/06/26 05:27 PM
7

I was trying to think of why this scenario would be so deeply uncomfortable, other than the obvious, and this summed it up perfectly. I’m only interested in intimacy with my husband so the thought of a random man sexualizing me like that is viscerally disgusting. Obviously not everyone thinks of sex that way and can do it casually, but I’m definitely not one of them
/r/PurplePillDebate10/06/26 08:49 PM
5

I don’t think every woman is demisexual, but I think it’s fair to say that women are often evaluating the entire package vs. playing who’s hot or not solely based on looks. Personally if I had to put a label on it I think I’d technically be considered demisexual, but that’s not something I actually identify with.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/06/26 05:41 PM
16

My husband has been in the 330-430 pound range throughout our entire relationship. His friends who are also on the larger side are all married. So it may be harder for some larger guys, but all of the ones I know have never had any issues. The vast majority of people are overweight and yet the majority of people still find love.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/06/26 06:19 PM
8

No, I wouldn’t get married if it were forced. My husband and I have an amazing sex life but if it were legally mandated there’s no way I’d be able to be intimate with him at all
/r/PurplePillDebate05/06/26 06:12 PM
33

The average man is married to the average woman and they travel, go to events, and enjoy life together. Every time my husband and I attend galas and benefits on the weekends there’s hundreds of normal couples there. You’ll see some single women or older bachelors occasionally, but being paired up is the norm. The people you are talking about would not be the norm.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/06/26 05:51 PM
3

I realized my type when I was relatively young, I think around 14-15. It wasn’t something I actively did, it kind of just happened to me. When I started noticing guys, my mind was automatically sorting them into “yes” and “no” groups. The “yes” group is pretty specific.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/05/26 02:37 PM
1

Everyone is different. Some comments are saying this is enough or too much, but this would be too little for me personally. I like to do a day trip/weekend getaway every week and multiple international vacations every year. So, it really depends on your specific relationship
/r/PurplePillDebate20/05/26 02:24 AM
12

In major cities like NYC, LA, Boston, etc. white collar couples are typically two high earning doctors, two lawyers, two engineers, etc. They’ll each make $200-500k+ annually. A wealthy man marrying the starbucks barista and her running off with his money is a revenge fantasy that I’ve quite literally never seen play out in real life.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/05/26 01:52 PM
35

I work in high net worth financial planning and I can’t say I’ve ever seen a wealthy man doing this. It seems like broke men are trying to impress women with their limited resources, while the wealthy couples are pairing up as equals.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/05/26 12:46 PM
6

I lost my virginity to my husband so he has everything, and no other man will ever have access to me. I think that’s the most special treatment available
/r/PurplePillDebate15/05/26 03:54 PM
11

I ride horses too and sex definitely takes more time, energy, and effort. It’s not an easy thing for many women, especially when you factor life stress in
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/26 01:04 PM
2

I’m very emotionally fragile, mostly due to my autism. I wouldn’t make it out in the dating world, I know I’m way too sensitive and naïve for traditional dating. I married my first boyfriend very young and he’s an excellent match to my hyper-sensitivity. So girls like me aren’t a great fit for many/most men, but we definitely still have options.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/05/26 05:38 PM
3

Very quickly, I knew within a few minutes of meeting my husband that I’d be locking him down. I hard launched him on social media the next morning lol
/r/PurplePillDebate08/05/26 02:15 AM
5

I just knew I wanted to spend my entire life with one person, and I wanted to start that life very young. No real reason or rush, just personal preference. I’ve never really understood building a whole life alone in your 20’s or 30’s and then trying to combine it with someone else’s established life - I preferred to build that established life together.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/05/26 04:08 PM
1

Yep, we got engaged when I was 21 and married when I was 23. I didn’t have time to waste 😂
/r/PurplePillDebate04/05/26 04:01 PM
2

I was 18 when I had my first kiss, and 18 when I met my husband. He was my first and only relationship, no casual sex, and I lost my virginity to him when I was 19. Dating seriously was very important to me because I knew I wanted to settle down young
/r/PurplePillDebate04/05/26 03:50 PM
–

Among younger generations, the percentage of young women engaging in casual sex declined from 31% to 22% between 2007 and 2017. So it’s barely a quarter of women these days, if that. And that aligns with my observations among normal people my age.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/05/26 01:37 PM
–

Lmao that’s insane to think and not based in reality. I never have and neither have most of my friends, a small percent of women are actually sleeping around.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/05/26 11:35 AM
5

You can still be a piece of shit without being a felon
/r/PurplePillDebate28/04/26 05:23 PM
4

If a guy lies in order to sleep with a woman, knowing that she wouldn’t sleep with him if he weren’t lying, then he is absolutely using her for sex. The scenario in your post is not what people are talking about, they’re talking about actual deceit during the vetting process.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/04/26 04:39 PM
–

Literally none of this is true
/r/PurplePillDebate27/04/26 06:59 PM
1

God forbid a girl has a hobby
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/26 10:52 AM
1

So your mom had high standards too, because finding a guy with money who looks good isn’t just any average Joe off the street. When my grandma was dating back then, and my mom was dating in the 70’s-80’s with no apps, they were also looking for the guys with money who look good. But they had plenty of other standards as well. My grandma told me about a guy who came to her house to court her, and when she opened the door she told the guy “you have a funny nose” and shut it in his face. My grandma…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/26 10:51 AM
1

People have always been dating the people who meet all of their criteria, this isn’t some new 21st century phenomenon. Women filter men out by men who check all of their boxes and men who don’t, and then date for compatibility from there. Why waste someone’s time if you know they’re not meeting your standards? Also, my grandma was on the dating scene in the late 1940’s and I promise you, you wouldn’t have wanted to hear the girl’s qualifications back then lmao. Even without dating apps, women ha…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/26 10:35 AM
11

I think people are typically talking about what is average for their dating pool, not average as a whole. An average man who would be a match for me, and a truly average man would be wildly different people. I’ve been called “below average” during debates on this sub when I would be in the top 10-1% of any metric you put me up against. So men can easily be delusional about what constitutes average as well.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/26 04:51 PM
–

Yeah my husband is a lawyer and everyone at his firm is married to a very attractive, smart, and accomplished woman. It sounds like an incel fantasy to pretend that smart & wealthy men don’t have access to high quality women lol. A club promoter in Miami might get laid by random girls every weekend but most high earning professional men are looking for a quality over quantity. Their dating pools wouldn’t overlap in the slightest.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/04/26 12:05 PM
0

This is exactly what women are doing
/r/PurplePillDebate20/04/26 05:12 PM
3

Women don’t wear makeup and revealing clothing to attract men. Women who want to wear makeup wear it, regardless of their marital status. And women who want to wear revealing clothing do, independent of their dating habits. I dress like I’m playing little house on the prairie because I feel comfortable dressing that way, and I attracted my husband looking like that. I love to wear makeup because it makes me feel and look good, and I’m obviously not doing it to attract men since I’m married. So t…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/04/26 05:52 PM
8

Yeah I met my husband when I was 18, he was 20. We were both college students with an income of $0 surrounded by other college students with 0 income, so dating for money simply didn’t exist in our dating environment. I think you’ll see dating for money start in the 25+ crowd
/r/PurplePillDebate17/04/26 02:40 PM
3

This is exactly it
/r/PurplePillDebate17/04/26 02:31 PM
13

The money was the only attraction since they didn’t like his looks or personality
/r/PurplePillDebate17/04/26 01:38 PM
29

In general, no, but there are always outliers. I know 2 girls who both dated an older guy but they were very open about how they were only there for the money
/r/PurplePillDebate17/04/26 01:33 PM
–

My husband is plus size and he’s absolutely gotten negative comments before, but he’s also gotten a ton of positive comments too. People will automatically assume he’s the funniest man alive, or wealthy, or above average below the belt when they see photos of us together. There isn’t an equivalent that exists for plus size women.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/04/26 01:18 PM
–

I used to be plus size - I was a size 12 (but carried it very well), and several years ago I lost the weight and now I’m a size 0/2. From my experience, a lot of men only see women they’re attracted to as “actual women”, plus size women are either completely invisible or they’re targets for hate, no in-between. They are offended at the audacity you posses to exist in front of them and be unattractive. Since your only purpose on earth is to be attractive to him, he thinks you’re being disrespectf…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/04/26 01:12 PM
1

I think a woman who also has a laid back job would be the best pairing for you. My husband and I are both education and career nut jobs and our lives revolve around it, so we’re the perfect pair. Based on everything you wrote, I’d go insane if I were in a relationship with you and you’d likely feel the same about me. I don’t expect men to be go getters as a whole, but I expected myself to end up with a fellow go getter.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/04/26 10:03 PM
–

I’m 28 and my husband is 30 so I’m more in-tune with the 30+ scene than what high schoolers and college kids are up to these days. So even if guys and girls are doing funky things in their 20’s, the numbers align as everyone approaches 30.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/04/26 04:00 PM
–

PEW research says that 21-27% of men over 30 are single. A good chunk of those are men who are lifelong bachelors or men who choose to remain single for other reasons. So despite all of the “top 20%” stuff, the population of adult men who can’t find any relationship at all is actually very small. What actions should women take to make sure the 1-2 stragglers out of a group of 10 (statistically speaking) aren’t left behind?
/r/PurplePillDebate08/04/26 03:51 PM
0

Relationships do take work, so if putting in a little effort to date is too much then you’re not ready for a girlfriend at all. I was the one that pursued my husband, and the one that was the main “driver” of our relationship at the beginning. I also coordinate our entire calendar to this day. If a girl actually likes you, she’ll want to do those things. People put effort into things they actually care about.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/04/26 02:06 AM
–

I was very obsessed with my husband when we first met - we went public with our relationship less than 24 hours after meeting lol. But I still waited almost 10 months to lose my virginity to him. So it’s not always black and white
/r/PurplePillDebate07/04/26 11:45 AM
3

College kids settling down isn’t as rare as you assume - especially in the south or at religious schools. I went to an SEC school and it was the norm to get engaged as an upperclassman and married after graduation.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/04/26 10:55 AM
-1

I just know myself well enough to know I wouldn’t be able to tolerate it. I already can’t tolerate my own autism quirks so factoring in someone else’s would be a no go. Also I’m level 2 and rely on my husband for substantial day to day life support, and I’d worry that an autistic man wouldn’t be capable of taking care of me.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/04/26 01:08 AM
-1

Personally I have autism and I wouldn’t date an autistic guy, but I do know other autistic girls who absolutely would
/r/PurplePillDebate05/04/26 12:17 AM
6

That actually makes a lot of sense, I never thought of it like that. I met my husband on Bumble about 2-3 weeks after creating my account. So I wasn’t even “on the market” for a month before being taken off forever. The actual dating pool is such a tiny percent of men and women.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/04/26 08:13 PM
6

so… literally none of this is true
/r/PurplePillDebate29/03/26 08:51 AM
–

That doesn’t make any sense. The girls I know from high school and college who are the most conventionally attractive got married the youngest
/r/PurplePillDebate28/03/26 12:54 PM
–

I’m very conventionally attractive and have almost every illness and allergy you could possibly imagine. If guys are betting on health based on looks, there’s going to be a lot of disappointment
/r/PurplePillDebate28/03/26 12:49 PM
6

My brother makes 6 figures, fits that definition to a tee, and lives in our mom’s basement. You don’t have to be stable at all to make money
/r/PurplePillDebate24/03/26 08:37 PM
8

They all have Peter Pan syndrome. I grew up in a wealthy town and it’s extremely common
/r/PurplePillDebate24/03/26 08:34 PM
0

I was in a sorority in college, and a lot of the girls started dating guys in the fraternities that we commonly paired up with. When those relationships inevitably ended, it led to some very awkward situations when we all continued to be paired up together. I think there would be a similar phenomenon in hobbies and clubs as adults as well. If you date someone in your dance class and you break up, does one of you leave the class? Do you both continue to go and cause tension? Sure it could work ou…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/03/26 02:22 PM
1

I met my husband on Bumble
/r/PurplePillDebate20/03/26 09:03 AM
–

I was a virgin when I met my husband, and I only wanted a husband with a very low or no body count. So I did care, but a lot of women won’t.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/03/26 08:21 PM
3

The DM’s are on insta, and most have public accounts or visible profile pics. I run a food content account so I can’t turn off my DM’s or go private. I’m not posting thirst traps, I’m posting pics of pasta and still getting weird messages lmao. I always just ignore & delete them but it’s funny to see
/r/PurplePillDebate16/03/26 08:04 PM
2

They aren’t attractive, because attractive men don’t DM random girls
/r/PurplePillDebate16/03/26 07:14 PM
-1

I get a ton of DM’s from random guys and they’re from all races & ages
/r/PurplePillDebate16/03/26 07:11 PM
1

I’m conventionally attractive - petite, skinny, feminine, blonde, big boobs, stylish, etc. I attract everyone. So according to you, my “type” would be… every man on this planet. That’s not really a type then is it?
/r/PurplePillDebate16/03/26 07:01 PM
2

Yeah I offered to split the bill on the first date with my husband, but he declined my offer. I just think it’s the right thing to do
/r/PurplePillDebate13/03/26 07:45 PM
-1

Because people are judged based on who they are partnered with. A lot of people want the best partner, the best education, the best house, the best vacations, etc. Why wouldn’t you strive for the best instead of settling for fine enough?
/r/PurplePillDebate13/03/26 05:51 PM
13

I only wear them under my leotards for ballet sometimes, never when I’m just out and about. It’s a practicality thing not a comfort thing
/r/PurplePillDebate13/03/26 01:14 AM
1

I met my husband on bumble! But we met a decade ago when the app was much different at the time
/r/PurplePillDebate12/03/26 08:10 PM
2

Yep
/r/PurplePillDebate11/03/26 11:27 AM
4

I mean yeah first dates are basically job interviews
/r/PurplePillDebate11/03/26 10:33 AM
–

There’s a big difference between recognizing that someone is attractive, versus actually being attracted to them. I think that a large percentage of men can be considered attractive, but I would only be actively attracted to a very tiny minority of them. Lifestyle compatibility plays a huge role in actual attraction in a relationship, so that one factor alone (outside of looks) eliminates a large percentage of men too. The OP says that he “could easily build a happy, fulfilling relationship with…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/03/26 06:14 PM
–

But you can only end up with 1 person. Not being attracted to the masses isn’t something that needs to be addressed, that’s normal. Whether you’re attracted to 83% of men or .0001% of men the end result is the same - you have 1 husband.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/03/26 04:59 PM
3

So why don’t men just improve themselves to meet the standards of the women they want to date? Instead of women compromising, just rise to meet the challenge instead.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/03/26 02:59 PM
4

People are allowed to have any standards they want. If someone wants one person or nothing at all, that is their prerogative and it’s 100% okay in my book. Women don’t fear being single like men do. A lot of men will take their dream girl, or the next best thing. Guys will hook up and date girls they aren’t attracted to at all, solely for human contact. A lot of women will take their dream guy, or no guy at all. Girls won’t sleep with men they aren’t attracted to. That’s the major difference. I …
/r/PurplePillDebate03/03/26 02:53 PM
–

I’ve been attracted to one man in my entire life, and I married him. Why does it matter that I wasn’t attracted to 100 men or 1,000 men when I could only end up with 1 of them? There’s a big difference between recognizing that someone is attractive, versus actually being attracted to them. I think that a large percentage of men can be considered attractive, but I would only be actively attracted to a very tiny minority of them. Lifestyle compatibility plays a huge role in actual attraction in a …
/r/PurplePillDebate03/03/26 11:30 AM
5

Maybe a little compromise can be okay, but that’s not my personal experience. If there were anything about my husband where I said “I love him, but…” - I wouldn’t have married him.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/03/26 11:07 PM
1

I was 18, he was 20. We’ve been together for a decade
/r/PurplePillDebate02/03/26 10:42 PM
47

That all sounds great on paper, but it removes the human emotion behind it. How would you feel if someone had to compromise to be in a relationship with you? If your wife said “I used to want a handsome, ambitious man, but when I realized I couldn’t get him, I chose you”. You’d be devastated. I chose my husband because he hits every marker on your list, and he chose me for the same reasons. It’s not crazy to think that attractive, ambitious, high earners pair up with each other. Choosing to marr…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/03/26 10:13 PM
1

I wouldn’t date anyone under 6 ft, but using bumble for party invites, I would accept any height
/r/PurplePillDebate17/02/26 03:06 PM
2

Women are looking for all sorts of different things on the apps. I met my husband on bumble, but at the time I wasn’t even looking to date. I only swiped right on guys in a fraternity, because I wanted to get asked to their date parties. I also frequently swiped right on guys who were 21, so they could buy me alcohol (I was 18). Personality, looks, photos, bios, or whatever were never a factor - it was 1. Can you take me to your party and 2. Can you buy me beer. That was it. I ended up randomly …
/r/PurplePillDebate14/02/26 03:46 PM
1

His best bet would be a fellow neurodivergent girl. I have autism and I fell for my husband very hard, very quickly. I was 18 and had 0 relationship experience, so I was just genuinely thrilled that a man was finally interested in me, and I definitely showed that in an over the top way. I also didn’t know that wasn’t common at all in early relationships because of my autism, I thought everyone acted like that. If he knows any neurodivergent girls who don’t receive any male attention they’d likel…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/02/26 12:57 PM
2

same
/r/PurplePillDebate07/02/26 03:13 PM
–

I don’t think that my friend’s boyfriends are unattractive, but they are truly not my type and I’d never be attracted to them. It’s very common for girls to have extremely different preferences. My husband isn’t most girls type, but I’m wildly attracted to him.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/02/26 07:45 AM
4

Anecdotally, I’ve actually never seen a doctor and nurse, dentist and hygienist, etc. pairing within my circles. My husband is an attorney and I work in finance. Every other attorney at his firm is married to an equally matched partner - none are married to a paralegal. The ratio of highly educated women to men is definitely skewed so not every woman can find her equal, but in my day to day life I’m still seeing very comparable couples match up at high rates.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/01/26 11:48 AM
3

No, I think people are free to set their standards as high as they want. The person you choose to spend your life with is the most important choice you’ll ever make, so the very best or nothing at all is completely reasonable. There’s no reason or need to be in a relationship that doesn’t suit your needs.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/01/26 05:42 PM
5

I really don’t think men like that are as rare as unicorns, you literally perfectly described my husband lol. We met on bumble when I was 18 and we’ve been together for a decade now for reference. I think those are fine standards to have honestly, and there definitely are men out there who meet them. I grew up seeing my friend’s dad’s meet those standards as well so I knew they were out there. Most people marry within their “group” - so it’s not crazy for rich attractive girls to pair off with r…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/01/26 11:10 AM
–

It’s really not that rare at all. In my marriage, I was the one that pursued my husband hard
/r/PurplePillDebate20/01/26 06:53 PM
–

A lot of people (especially women) don’t like to date like that, especially nowadays. A lot of women take dating super seriously and wouldn’t want to try it out with a bunch of random guys, and a breakup would be a huge deal. This leads to women being more hesitant to get into relationships.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/01/26 03:06 PM
4

It’s not about how you look. It’s about how you act. You definitely could hookup with a guy who is husband material. But a guy who is only hookup material can never be husband material.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/01/26 07:25 PM
4

This is why it’s better to be husband material. Guys who are husband material are picked because they’re rare and special, vs. hookup material guys are picked because they’re forgettable and interchangeable. They’re the guy you use for an hour and never see again. I don’t know why guys would want to be that guy.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/01/26 06:39 PM
1

I’d never want to be a man being a girl is actually the best
/r/PurplePillDebate17/01/26 04:24 PM
1

My husband has never had an opinion on my clothes because I dress relatively modestly, but he has told me that he’s very happy with the way I dress
/r/PurplePillDebate06/01/26 12:15 PM
12

I made the first move and established the relationship with my husband. It’s definitely not as uncommon as you would think, most couples just don’t talk about the origin of their relationship so you’d have no way to tell. He’s still traditional overall so he proposed to me, but I wouldn’t categorize any part of our relationship as him chasing me - I was definitely the one chasing him.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/01/26 06:41 PM
1

This is far from universal and black and white. Personally, IDGAF kind of men literally terrify me. I would never be attracted or be interested in a relationship with someone who feels that way about life. There are some girls out there who like that, but it’s not the norm or majority.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/12/25 06:48 PM
2

Those are the social circles I run in and I see who pairs up with who
/r/PurplePillDebate27/12/25 04:15 AM
5

They have their lives together, they’re educated, stylish, fit, etc. Most guys are going to want a girl with those qualities.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/12/25 03:16 AM
3

It’s not even about what you can share on social media, it’s really about what you’re used to as a bare minimum standard of living. If you grow up taking the private jet to st. barts with the fam for school vacation, you’re not settling down with a guy who can get you a few nights at the great wolf lodge instead.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/12/25 11:39 PM
6

I think women as a whole have higher income standards, because they themselves are making more money and they realize how much it costs to have a good life these days. Women who grew up with wealth are overwhelmingly the kind of girls that guys want, and they have even higher income standards than the average woman. Like straight up the vast majority of guys will never earn enough to get the kind of girl they want. I was raised with money and I would never put myself in a situation where I don’t…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/12/25 11:32 PM
93

I grew up in Massachusetts and then moved to Alabama, so I’ve dealt with a ton of very liberal and very conservative women. One interesting factor that I haven’t seen anyone discuss in this thread yet is that there are a bunch of conservative women, but often times they don’t live up to the femininity ideals of conservative men. A bunch of conservative men want a very feminine woman, and some conservative women are. But a TON of them are more - get down in the mud with the boys - type of women, …
/r/PurplePillDebate26/12/25 08:54 PM
4

Nope, it’s possible to tear in every direction. Perineal and labial tears are the most common, but in 2% of births women tear upwards through the urethra and clitoris or hood. Unfortunately not as rare as you would think
/r/PurplePillDebate25/12/25 06:14 PM
-3

I don’t think they’re attractive either, a lot of girls might like that look but it’s far from universal
/r/PurplePillDebate25/12/25 05:52 PM
5

Unfortunately, it is
/r/PurplePillDebate25/12/25 05:45 PM
-1

I was initially very physically attracted to my husband, but I didn’t know anything about him yet so I wasn’t 1000% attracted yet. After I got to know him it solidified my initial attraction. A good and compatible personality has to be there for me to be fully attracted. A guy could never move from the initially unattractive to the attractive category in my case
/r/PurplePillDebate23/12/25 06:12 PM
0

Obviously my personality was a huge part of it, but realistically the initial attraction would always be there regardless
/r/PurplePillDebate19/12/25 05:47 PM
0

I think real attraction like what we have is a mixture of pure luck and also acknowledging reality. I’m very universally conventionally attractive so him not being into me isn’t a concern I’ve ever had
/r/PurplePillDebate19/12/25 05:13 PM
0

I mean yeah why wouldn’t he be into me lol
/r/PurplePillDebate19/12/25 04:13 PM
6

I’m 27 and there are definitely men in their 40’s and 50’s that I consider to be conventionally attractive. I’m not attracted to them, but I can recognize that someone out there might be attracted to them. They are the men that look and act decades younger though, not their age. There is nothing remotely sexy to me about greying, balding, saggy old men. But an old man who looks 32 is a different story. I know one girl my age who is marrying a guy in his 50’s, and it’s only for the money. But the…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/12/25 03:14 PM
1

I had never experienced visceral attraction until I met my husband. I actually thought I was asexual until I saw him. He just falls into that extremely rare 1% for me
/r/PurplePillDebate19/12/25 12:49 PM
3

My husband grew up blue collar but his family came into wealth when he was in high school, and he went on to college & law school to maintain that wealth in adulthood. I grew up wealthy and also wanted to maintain that in adulthood. My husband liked that I had experience growing up in the wealthy world and could help him learn and navigate it, and I liked that he had the drive to succeed and our lifestyle wasn’t just handed to us. I have a high powered career, and so do all of the other spouses …
/r/PurplePillDebate19/12/25 12:00 PM
–

I’m a late Gen Z married person, and I’ve gone to 5+ weddings a year every year since I graduated from college. At least in my mid to late 20’s age group, it doesn’t seem like men are avoiding marriage at all. Maybe the millennials are different?
/r/PurplePillDebate16/12/25 03:29 PM
–

The majority of people marry within their own socioeconomic class
/r/PurplePillDebate12/12/25 01:29 PM
8

I don’t think it’s a “bad” thing necessarily, but I think it’s too broad of a stereotype to apply to women as a whole. I only know 1-2 women who I would describe as naturally caring. I have autism and I don’t have the ability to care, and sometimes I feel self conscious about it because I feel like I should be able to, due to the stereotype. There are plenty of caring men, and plenty of caring women. I don’t think that men or women who don’t fit into that box have something to learn from them, I…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/12/25 07:00 AM
7

I was the one that pursued my husband. I had never had a guy show any interest in me before, so I knew I’d have to be proactive in finding my husband
/r/PurplePillDebate26/11/25 03:22 AM
4

It may be wildly unrealistic to you, but a lot of people do successfully date that way. My husband and I planned out our 10 year plan on our first date, and here we are 9 years later, fully living that plan to a tee. Some people know what they want and don’t feel the need to dick around for no reason
/r/PurplePillDebate25/11/25 07:40 PM
9

It does not. My personal preferences deviate from most women’s preferences so the guys that would be in my hypothetical top 20 probably are not in other women’s
/r/PurplePillDebate25/11/25 01:11 AM
8

My husband and I waited almost a year before I lost my virginity to him. That would be unthinkable to half of the guys on here lol
/r/PurplePillDebate24/11/25 03:33 PM
5

I agree. I looked like a chubby kid until I was 24, and I started becoming hot at 25. I’m 27 now and I haven’t even reached my peak. There definitely are some girls where 18-23 is as good as it’s going to get and it’s all downhill from there, but a lot of us don’t peak until our 30’s or beyond
/r/PurplePillDebate11/11/25 12:44 PM
6

Same, I only knew of one truly bad marriage but everyone else in my life is genuinely happily married
/r/PurplePillDebate11/11/25 12:00 PM
1

The girl you described in paragraph 13 describes me - do I get a pass then? So there are women who are “good enough”? Or is it all women?
/r/PurplePillDebate11/11/25 11:36 AM
1

If there’s an abundance of guys like that to go around, then people would have far less dating problems. And guys wouldn’t complain about these being high standards if most of them met them, which they don’t. The fact that subreddits like this exist tells me that there isn’t. How many guys in your family/social circle would check all of those boxes? Maybe 1, if that?
/r/PurplePillDebate08/11/25 07:32 PM
1

I mean I have eyes and I can see what’s out there, and I know I want no part of that
/r/PurplePillDebate08/11/25 07:28 PM
1

You’d be surprised how much my religious, lifestyle, and income requirements really narrow things down. I do come from wealth. It’s really not that many people, but it doesn’t matter anyways since I snatched the best of the best off the market immediately
/r/PurplePillDebate08/11/25 07:26 PM
1

We met on Bumble! We met in college, when I was 18 and he was 20. He was my first boyfriend and I was his first girlfriend so we don’t have any dating/relationship experience outside of each other. I’d say my general standards were: height - no specific number, just taller than me. Lifestyle - I have a unique lifestyle that involves splitting time living between two states, so he’d have to be down with that. Education - had to have at least a bachelor’s, JD/MD preferred. Background/family - had …
/r/PurplePillDebate08/11/25 07:18 PM
4

I think you may be an outlier on this one honestly, all of my friends started getting waxed in the 6th-7th grade
/r/PurplePillDebate08/11/25 03:15 PM
2

Clearly that wasn’t a problem for me 🤷🏼‍♀️
/r/PurplePillDebate08/11/25 11:54 AM
–

I know what I bring to the table and a girl on my level can afford to be “conceited” and “irrational” 🥰
/r/PurplePillDebate08/11/25 11:47 AM
8

Cool, but clearly that doesn’t matter since I easily found him
/r/PurplePillDebate08/11/25 11:42 AM
-1

I found my soulmate and exactly what I wanted to a tee, no adjusted standards needed. A very small number of men isn’t no men - .1% or less still leaves thousands of viable matches
/r/PurplePillDebate08/11/25 11:41 AM
8

My standards filter out over 99.9% of men and I’m very happily married. Just because standards are strict doesn’t mean they aren’t rational.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/11/25 11:31 AM
1

Those are basically my standards as well, and I had 0 problems meeting my amazing husband. The only guys who care about those standards are the ones who don’t meet them since it completely removes them as a prospect. Dating isn’t an equal opportunity activity and it never will be.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/11/25 11:28 AM
7

The possibility of meeting your soulmate. I don’t have experience dating, but the night I met my husband he took me out on a date. Now I can look back on that night and remember the anticipation, the nerves/excitement, the possibility of meeting the one, the conversation, etc. All of it was so exciting because it was the starting point of our entire relationship.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/10/25 06:18 PM
1

Honestly I don’t but also I have autism so that could factor into it
/r/PurplePillDebate24/10/25 11:10 PM
0

It doesn’t matter who starts the conversation though, anyone can do any of the rejecting at any point
/r/PurplePillDebate24/10/25 10:00 PM
0

What does making the first move have to do with rejection? I sent a ton of messages out to guys that got no response or a quick response that turned into nothing. I never considered that to be rejection, just the nature of dating apps. I met my husband 9 years ago when bumble was still normal, so I don’t know anything about it being different now.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/10/25 09:07 PM
-2

It’s very common. I met my husband on bumble so I had to message him first, we had a very short conversation and then he never replied to my last message. About a week later he asked me out and then I was the one that pursued him hard after that.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/10/25 08:40 PM
5

Who are you to say she doesn’t have a chance? I’m a size 0 and my husband is nearly 400 lbs. He’s the hottest guy I’ve ever seen and the only man I’ve ever been attracted to. Maybe her coworker is into bigger girls, I see mixed-weight couples all day every day.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/10/25 08:37 PM
1

I’m level 2 and my autism presents very similarly to Madison on the show. I’m very conventionally attractive, I fit the beauty standards to a tee. But my behavior and interests are so far from the average neurotypical woman that it sets off alarm bells immediately. My husband is literally the only man on this planet who can put up with me and give me the time of day
/r/PurplePillDebate20/10/25 01:19 PM
2

I grew up as a musician, so I have no interest in pursuing it as a career, it suits me as a hobby. I’ve been a content creator for over 5 years and I have posts that go viral all of the time, but there’s no need to quit my job for it. I already have enough time to do all of my hobbies to the fullest. I’m an equestrian and ballerina so my hobbies are very intense, more of a lifestyle. I have to dedicate a lot of time outside of my hobbies to maintaining my health and weight so I’m able to do them…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/10/25 07:11 PM
8

My husband is an attorney so I could be a stay at home wife if I felt like it, but I would be beyond bored all day. I would be wasting and life and my talents. A lot of women truly enjoy their careers and don’t view it as “answering to a boss”. None of the other attorneys at my husband’s firm have a stay at home spouse either - all are married to a highly educated partner. I’ve always been a driven and accomplished person, I wouldn’t be able to do a complete 180 after marriage, I’d be miserable.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/10/25 06:13 PM
5

It varies depending on the person. My husband would say that I’m the best wife ever, but I know that a lot of other guys wouldn’t say that.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/10/25 11:27 AM
–

Yeah my husband is very emotionally intelligent, and a naturally caring person. He’s a civil rights attorney and college professor, so he really just likes to help people and is super understanding overall.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/10/25 02:39 PM
–

I have autism, so dating was really hard for me. I’m not able to live independently so being my husband is not an easy task honestly. I’m conventionally attractive (my only saving grace), but my autism is immediately noticeable and off putting to 99.9% of men, my husband being the sole exception. To answer your questions - 1. I’ve never gotten approached by a stranger, hit on, cat called, etc. 2. Other than my husband, never. 3. If I were single, I would be able to find a sexual partner quickly,…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/10/25 01:47 PM
16

I don’t dress provocatively, but I would say that I dress attractively. I don’t have my boobs and butt out, but I’m not wearing a shapeless sack either. When I look good, I feel good, so I dress in an attractive way that makes me happy. If a random guy sees me and finds me attractive that’s fine, but I’m not doing it for that reason. I don’t care if random people like or dislike my clothes, or find me attractive or not. I just don’t spend any time thinking about the thoughts they may or may not …
/r/PurplePillDebate30/09/25 06:31 PM
0

I don’t think you’ve ever seen a healthy marriage or talked to an actual woman. I’ve literally never once in my life seen or experienced anything you said in your post
/r/PurplePillDebate24/09/25 03:35 PM
2

I have 2 other friends who also got married in their early/mid 20’s, and all 3 of us met our husband on Bumble. So the apps do work a lot of the time
/r/PurplePillDebate22/09/25 05:15 PM
4

It’s normal to want a nice final product because of the expense
/r/PurplePillDebate17/09/25 07:32 PM
1

Wedding photography is very expensive, so it’s normal to want nice photos given how much they cost. It’s also the happiest day of your lives, and the only time you’re surrounded by all of your family and friends for a lot of people.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/09/25 07:08 PM
5

Same. The only divorce I know of is my parents, and they both knew within a month of meeting that they never should have gotten married, and that it wouldn’t work out. It wasn’t a question if the marriage would end, but when.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/09/25 06:55 PM
3

I minored in sociology in college, and my favorite class was a soc class where we discussed gender, race, socioeconomic status and how those traits determine how you interact with the world - like employment, marriage, etc. So a lot of discussions in that class had similar topics that come up on this sub, and I just find it interesting.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/25 03:35 PM
19

You can be stereotypically masculine and very empathetic, my husband is the most masculine man I’ve ever met but he’s gentle and kind to people. Being masculine doesn’t mean being a psychopathic asshole to everyone you meet
/r/PurplePillDebate30/07/25 08:19 PM
8

I’m saying that for most girls, there is no “behind closed doors”. Because I have all of those positive qualities going for me, I would quite literally never interact with a man who isn’t in the same league as me, let alone act like a slut with him
/r/PurplePillDebate30/07/25 01:50 PM
11

In my case - Educated, good career, comes from a good background/family, conventionally attractive, settled down with my first boyfriend as a teen, kind - stuff like that.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/07/25 01:42 PM
17

I’m the exact definition of a “good girl”, and girls with lifestyles like me are way more common than girls dating felons lol
/r/PurplePillDebate30/07/25 01:07 PM
8

He can expect to go out on a date, and get a thank you after
/r/PurplePillDebate29/07/25 04:33 PM
7

In my relationship it’s the opposite, we plan out 95% of every month in advance, but leave a few days open for random plans. On those random free days, I wouldn’t want to be with someone who just wants to sit at home, I’d prefer planning a last minute day trip or activity.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/07/25 10:28 PM
23

I would consider a guy to be boring if he wanted to stay at home 24/7, never wanted to travel or try new things, never wanted to go to events, etc. Also if they have a very rigid/repetitive schedule that they refuse to deviate from. I like to be with someone who is adventurous and up for spontaneous plans. Also, if he isn’t interested in current events, history, learning/continuing education, career growth, etc. I would consider that to be boring also. And someone who doesn’t have any hobbies/in…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/07/25 03:11 PM
1

Our situation was kind of unique, I decided that I was going to be his girlfriend, informed him of that, and we went from there. So I guess I did
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/25 04:35 PM
3

I think in some cases, yes. For example, I met my husband on bumble, but he didn’t have any clear pictures of himself or his face on his profile. From our conversation I was obviously interested, but I really didn’t know what he actually looked like. I decided to give him a chance, because why not. When we met in person, I was instantly attracted to him and the rest is history. If I had ruled him out based on some initial factors, I never would have met my soulmate. So my story is a good example…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/07/25 04:47 PM
1

Sure, but you also can’t tell that by looking at me
/r/PurplePillDebate22/07/25 09:30 AM
2

I met my husband at 18, and he was my first boyfriend ever. So, the exact opposite. I ended up falling in love at first sight with him, and moved in the same day. We’ve been inseparable ever since. Most people don’t move that quickly and have it work out, which is why I generally don’t suggest it to other people. I got insanely lucky and the first guy I saw happened to be my soulmate, but 99.9% of people out there aren’t that lucky.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/07/25 03:56 PM
3

A lot of dating is right place right time, sheer luck kind of situations. I’ve been with my husband for almost a decade, so my single friends do ask me for dating/relationship advice. I feel bad when I tell them I really don’t have any specific tips, since my own relationship situation was so out of the norm. I wouldn’t recommend doing what I did to 99.9% of women out there. So a lot of the time, people genuinely don’t have the advice to give, even if they want to help with dating.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/07/25 03:00 PM
9

Same. I’ve never been cold approached, cat called, hit on, etc. I’m 27 and have lived in three different states, and received 0 interest in every one except from the guy that would eventually become my husband
/r/PurplePillDebate19/07/25 11:34 AM
12

Waiting is more common than rushing. My husband and I waited almost a year and have zero regrets
/r/PurplePillDebate15/07/25 03:36 PM
3

I have a few friends who are also married/engaged, and all of our husband’s look very different from one another. We all have a very different type, and while their husband’s aren’t my type at all, they are truly happy in their relationships. My husband is not the type of 99.9% of women out there, but he’s the only man on this planet that I find attractive. Sometimes looks preferences really are that polarizing
/r/PurplePillDebate11/07/25 05:56 PM
1

I met my husband on bumble. He asked some random girl to go to his fraternity’s semi formal with him, but she cancelled on him at the last minute. He scrolled through his bumble matches to find a new date and picked me. We had matched on bumble a few weeks prior, but the conversation had fizzled out. He explained the situation, asked me to semi instead, and I said yes. We ended up falling in love at first sight and decided to become official that day. We just instantly clicked and everything fel…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/06/25 07:42 PM
–

If you have no job, eduction, or training, you’re not going to be a very resourceful person. They are mutually exclusive in my mind.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/06/25 11:27 AM
5

I’m not demisexual but I wanted to wait until we confirmed that we were getting married, and my husband didn’t have any trouble waiting for me. We ended up waiting around 9 months, and we both wouldn’t have done anything differently
/r/PurplePillDebate20/05/25 02:47 PM
1

This is what my husband and I did - met at 18, engaged at 21, graduated college at 22, got married at 23, now we’re in our late 20’s
/r/PurplePillDebate17/05/25 09:42 AM
0

Honestly I can’t drive so my husband drives me everywhere, and the logistics aren’t hard to figure out at all. My husband has been doing it for 9 years now. I don’t think it’s as big of a deal in relationships as most people think
/r/PurplePillDebate16/05/25 03:08 PM
2

Based on my experience watching my mom and her friend group age, I’d have to guess somewhere between my mid 50’s - early 60’s
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/25 05:02 AM
2

I didn’t become conventionally attractive until I was 25. Now I’m 27 and look even better than 2 years ago. I’m excited for my late 20’s and 30’s now, I hope I just keep getting prettier lol. But, I think I’m an outlier. I haven’t seen many other girls my age have massive glow ups recently. There definitely are some, but I’ve noticed more people gaining weight and visibly aging.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/25 04:59 AM
–

In my experience they don’t care if you’re neurodivergent in a quirky way, but if you’re legitimately disabled they run for the hills. Not many men are willing to take care of another person for their entire life. But, there are definitely some.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/05/25 02:21 PM
–

You basically just described me and I’m married so even that situation doesn’t necessarily mean you’re fucked
/r/PurplePillDebate03/05/25 11:00 AM
9

Having an ambitious career gives you life experience and social currency. It helps you become a competent person, and proves to others that you’re competent. Those are important traits to look for when searching for someone to raise kids with. Someone who says they’re ambitious with nothing of importance to show for it isn’t really ambitious
/r/PurplePillDebate25/04/25 04:05 PM
2

Not really. At 23 you should be one year into your career if you stopped at a bachelors, or one year into grad school if you continued on. At 23 I had finished college and my post-bac program, I was married, and heading into the second year of my career. If you start all of that past 23 that means your life isn’t starting until your 30’s and then you’re a decade behind your peers.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/04/25 03:35 PM
4

Guys definitely do care. My husband is a lawyer, and all of the other lawyers at his firm are married to people who also have advanced degrees. Someone without a degree who is working at a snack bar would be a complete non-starter for the majority of educated people.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/04/25 03:30 PM
1

Whenever I post tiktoks of pictures with my husband, there’s always a mix of comments. 90% of them are praising my husband for marrying me, and 10% are from guys who are pissed that he got me and they didn’t
/r/PurplePillDebate21/04/25 01:29 PM
6

I’m 27 and my husband is almost 29. If he were more than 3 years older than me I wouldn’t have pursued him. I’m not into age gap relationships
/r/PurplePillDebate19/04/25 09:15 PM
–

I have autism and I met my husband on bumble
/r/PurplePillDebate19/04/25 08:49 PM
1

My husband is my exact type, very big and very tall. Basically you have to look like you kill average size men with your bare hands for me to do a double take. I’m 5’4”, 115 lbs, and very fit/active for reference
/r/PurplePillDebate19/04/25 12:33 PM
1

Yeah I wanted to marry my first love, and it was also important to me that I am my husband’s first love
/r/PurplePillDebate19/04/25 10:19 AM
–

Yeah the people that I’ve remained in contact with post grad are my husband’s fraternity brother’s wives. So it was the guy’s social circle that all of the girls became a part of over the years. I really struggle socially (I have autism) so my own circle is quite small.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/04/25 08:09 PM
2

I met my husband on bumble and I’m not that ugly. It may depend on your location and age range
/r/PurplePillDebate16/04/25 07:32 PM
–

I’ve never tried dating in South Carolina or know anyone who has, so I’m not sure about their experiences
/r/PurplePillDebate16/04/25 07:21 PM
–

Nobody that I know is religious, and everyone ranges from middle class to wealthy
/r/PurplePillDebate16/04/25 05:25 PM
–

I’m an older gen z girl, right in the middle of the age range you named. Every guy I know that wants a girlfriend or wife has one, and every guy that wants to be single is single. I’ve gone to 5+ weddings a year every year since we graduated from college. My entire Instagram feed is proposals, weddings, and babies. The vast majority of people I know from undergrad are partnered, and the only single people I know are girls who are struggling to meet someone halfway decent. This “dating problem” i…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/04/25 05:13 PM
4

I met him when I was 18, and he was my first boyfriend ever. I knew I would settle down with my first love as a teen. So still no
/r/PurplePillDebate12/04/25 12:42 PM
3

No, I’ve only ever been with my husband and I wouldn’t trade him for anything
/r/PurplePillDebate12/04/25 12:33 PM
7

A million dollars isn’t a lot of money, so no. I’d need a few billion to even consider trading life with my husband for single life. Realistically I would never though
/r/PurplePillDebate12/04/25 12:18 PM
1

Most aren’t
/r/PurplePillDebate29/03/25 12:47 PM
9

All of my grandparents (on both my side and my husband’s side) have been through several major medical crises later in life. They are all very in love with their spouses and divorce would never become an option, ever. My husband and I are younger, gen z, but I have disabilities. My husband has been taking care of me since I was 18.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/03/25 07:26 PM
12

99% of the posts on there are from women who are terrified of the sunk cost fallacy. They don’t want to marry their boyfriend because of who he is, they typically dislike who he is/his actions, they just want the relationship to end in marriage so they didn’t just waste the last 5+ years of their life
/r/PurplePillDebate27/03/25 05:00 PM
17

The “safest” range for the health of the mother and the baby is generally 25-35. But 35-45 is generally safe now too. Having kids as an adolescent or young adult is also dangerous for the mom & baby. Pregnancy complications aren’t usually age related. I used to volunteer in the labor and delivery ward and I knew of women in their 20’s having absolutely horrific deliveries, and women in their late 30’s-early 40’s having completely standard births. The same goes for fertility. There are infertile …
/r/PurplePillDebate27/03/25 04:32 PM
16

No, most women are able to have healthy pregnancies into their late 30’s - early 40’s
/r/PurplePillDebate27/03/25 04:25 PM
20

A lot of this depends on where you live. I grew up in the north where people use their 20’s for studying, working, traveling, etc. No one is really looking to settle down before 27-35. I moved to the south at 18, and there were a ton of girls my age already engaged as college freshman. I had never even had a boyfriend before and I felt SO behind and started panicking. “Delaying marriage” here means waiting until you’re done with school, not until your 30’s. The traditional dynamic is more common…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/03/25 04:02 PM
1

Fun fact, Musk isn’t sleeping with these women. I doubt he’s even interacting with them, which explains why they’ve never been seen together in public. His children were conceived through IVF and surrogacy.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/03/25 08:20 AM
–

My husband is 200+ pounds larger than me, and that is my preference.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/25 11:46 PM
–

There are, I’m one of them lol
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/25 11:31 PM
4

Yeah my husband is an attorney, I work in finance, and we’re DINKs that spend most of our time traveling. It’s not an uncommon lifestyle at all
/r/PurplePillDebate11/02/25 05:02 AM
1

My husband and I met at 18 and then got married 6 months post grad, both just weeks into our careers at the time. We’ve spent our entire adult lives building our life together. It’s not the norm anymore, but it’s not rare either
/r/PurplePillDebate31/01/25 11:16 PM
3

Thanks! We’re heading into our 9th year together and we couldn’t be happier :)
/r/PurplePillDebate29/01/25 05:59 PM
5

My husband and I basically have the same story. He had never had a girlfriend, I had never had a boyfriend, we met on bumble and just clicked immediately. I’ve never understood the appeal of dating around, but maybe that’s just because I managed to meet my soulmate without trying.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/01/25 05:24 PM
–

Most people want marriage and kids in their upper twenties through upper thirties, so I’d be shocked if your dates deviated from that. That’s just common sense. How is this even a debate? “Women who are marriage age want marriage. I also discovered that the sky is blue and grass is green.” Like… okay?
/r/PurplePillDebate28/01/25 07:46 PM
1

I’ve never met another woman in my entire life who feels this way
/r/PurplePillDebate25/01/25 07:35 PM
1

None of this is accurate
/r/PurplePillDebate25/01/25 04:39 PM
9

Part of the reason why my husband stood out to me when we met was his grooming. I loved that he had a nice haircut, wore cologne, and had a nice suit on. For lack of a better description, he looked like he gave a shit about his image. I think the fact that his hygiene and grooming stood out positively means that a lot of other guys aren’t meeting those standards. I agree with the other commenters who are saying that some guys just look smelly.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/01/25 03:45 PM
–

It kind of is the point of the post, because even if you “hate men”, there are other factors for women wanting to adhere to cultural beauty standards, like employment. It’s not a black and white question.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/12/24 05:12 PM
–

Employers discriminate against people left and right and very rarely put it in writing, because they’d be stupid to do that. When they do it makes it 1000 times easier to sue. The real reason is discriminatory, and the fake reason the employer comes up with is legal. Also “most likely will be hired somewhere” isn’t a great reassurance considering your ability to find employment is also your ability to find housing, food, healthcare, etc.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/12/24 04:52 PM
–

Do you think that discrimination being illegal means that it doesn’t occur? My husband does employment law and he’d be jobless if that were true. Jobs absolutely can and will refuse to hire you/fire you if you’re not “normal enough”, for lack of a better term.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/12/24 04:07 PM
-2

I’m Gen Z and I met my husband on bumble 🤷🏼‍♀️
/r/PurplePillDebate01/12/24 12:29 AM
5

My husband is a lawyer and every lawyer at his firm is married to someone who has a bachelors at a minimum, most people have multiple degrees
/r/PurplePillDebate29/11/24 02:18 AM
1

The majority of people end up with people who are equal to their own social status
/r/PurplePillDebate28/11/24 01:43 PM
2

The life experience that you gain from 18-22 before getting married at 23-24 is in fact called college
/r/PurplePillDebate06/11/24 12:01 PM
3

So you want someone who hasn’t started looking at her college options yet, so in other words, a 15 year old
/r/PurplePillDebate05/11/24 08:23 PM
2

Personally, I cared when it came to choosing my husband. I wanted to be with someone whose values aligned with mine. But as long as you’re not my husband, I don’t care what you do. If you want to sleep with 100 women that’s awesome for you, go for it, you just can’t be my husband.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/10/24 11:18 AM
–

Things I do to look good: skincare, shower routine, hair care, Botox, fashion, perfume, makeup, wigs, nails, nutrition, exercise, etc. Things my husband does: shower, cologne
/r/PurplePillDebate05/10/24 06:58 PM
1

Monetizing your looks is a dumb metric to have, but I also fit that criteria. I’m an influencer
/r/PurplePillDebate29/09/24 01:21 AM
2

Objectively speaking, I’m not normal. The average woman in the US is overweight or obese, and by being skinny I’m already in the top 20-30% of women. If you only factor in the skinny women in my age range and social class then I would agree that I’m average. But if you take everyone into account, then I’m not.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/09/24 12:49 AM
1

I’m an 8+ and have 0 issues getting a partner and I’m here
/r/PurplePillDebate28/09/24 11:22 PM
2

You think that attractive women don’t realize we’re attractive? I’m not going to call myself ugly to spare feelings
/r/PurplePillDebate28/09/24 08:10 PM
4

You sound exactly like me, and I don’t feel like typing right now so this is my answer too (minus the horror movie tidbit lol)
/r/PurplePillDebate28/09/24 08:06 PM
2

Thanks! He’s my best friend :)
/r/PurplePillDebate16/09/24 03:50 PM
6

He’s always been bigger
/r/PurplePillDebate15/09/24 04:46 PM
7

Yep, we met when I was 18 and he was my first everything
/r/PurplePillDebate15/09/24 12:34 PM
8

I have pictures of us together in my most recent post
/r/PurplePillDebate15/09/24 12:30 PM
6

Nope
/r/PurplePillDebate15/09/24 06:17 AM
27

My husband is actually the only man I’ve ever found attractive. Until I met him I thought there was something wrong with me since I’d never thought a guy was hot before. We’ve been together for 8 years now and he just keeps getting hotter, I got SO lucky
/r/PurplePillDebate14/09/24 11:54 PM
2

When I was single I wouldn’t have minded being approached in a situation that I could actively escape - so in a store would be fine but on a plane would be a no go. Nothing would have come from it, but I wouldn’t have minded the confidence boost
/r/PurplePillDebate13/09/24 05:31 PM
2

I’m the same way. My husband is the only man on this earth that I’ve ever found genuinely attractive. I think being really picky is common.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/09/24 05:40 PM
2

I grew up going to a conservative temple and went to high holy day services every year, but I’m not particularly observant. I was never told at Hebrew school or by my parents to wait until marriage, and dating was heavily encouraged. I was the odd one out in my circles for waiting, it really isn’t common at all where I’m from
/r/PurplePillDebate09/09/24 04:09 PM
2

I’m Jewish and I’m from Boston, and my husband and I waited around 9 months into our relationship before I lost my virginity to him. We wanted to get all of the details of how the rest of our life would look together worked out, and plan our engagement timeline before entering that aspect of our relationship. I wouldn’t feel comfortable being intimate with someone who wouldn’t become my husband.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/09/24 02:57 PM
–

My husband was the first and only man that I’ve ever found attractive. I’m not sure if my experience is universal though
/r/PurplePillDebate20/08/24 09:50 PM
–

I’ve never been attracted to average or muscular men. I don’t really have any specific reason why, I just don’t like it I guess. My husband has the exact body type I prefer
/r/PurplePillDebate20/08/24 05:47 PM
11

My husband and I exclusively use regular condoms, and have for the entirety of our relationship. We wouldn’t switch over to female condoms because they’re less effective, not commonly found, more expensive, and more uncomfortable for both people. That’s the main reason they aren’t used. I don’t see why we would switch over to a much worse option when regular condoms have been 100% effective for us for almost a decade.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/08/24 09:52 PM
8

I met him on Bumble when I was 18. He asked me out as a last minute date to his party, and we immediately clicked and started dating that same day. I was a little chubby when we met, but I carried my weight well. He was very overweight, but that’s my preference anyways. Realistically I wasn’t insanely ugly when we first met, I just had a baby face. I’m not sure why I was perceived as being very unattractive but that didn’t matter in the end since I ended up with the right person
/r/PurplePillDebate10/08/24 05:30 PM
31

My husband was the first guy ever to show me any kind of attention. Prior to him there was no getting asked out, no compliments, no free drinks, nothing. When I met my husband I recognized that he was the only guy on this planet that found me attractive, so I snatched him off the market immediately. If I had to go back before I met him and keep on living like that, realistically I’d be fine. But I am extremely happy that he did come along
/r/PurplePillDebate10/08/24 05:24 PM
1

I’ve never been catcalled, harassed, or hit on ever
/r/PurplePillDebate07/08/24 04:43 PM
21

My husband is a lawyer, and all of the other lawyers at his firm have age appropriate (and educated) wives. Everyone at his firm are in their 30’s-40’s, and they have all been married for 10-20+ years. If someone suddenly showed up with a 22 year old girlfriend they would be laughed at
/r/PurplePillDebate23/07/24 04:07 PM
4

You don’t, lol. I’m 26 now and I’ve never had a single second of independence so I feel like a forever 13 year old
/r/PurplePillDebate22/07/24 02:37 PM
1

If I were single… 1. I would never date a random guy who approached me in public
/r/PurplePillDebate22/07/24 02:19 PM
7

I have major helicopter parents, and speaking from experience they most likely will be picking their kid’s classes. I didn’t register for my classes on my own until my sophomore or junior year if I remember correctly, and even then I was only allowed to because my husband was supervising me
/r/PurplePillDebate22/07/24 01:53 PM
7

I went to an SEC school and getting engaged/married during college is still common there. I met my husband at 18, got engaged the summer after my junior year, and then got married the year after I graduated. That was a super common timeline that a lot of my friends from college followed too. In other parts of the US getting married at 22/23 is taboo, but in the south it’s still very common.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/07/24 11:35 AM
1

The only guy I’ve ever been attracted to is my husband: intelligent, comes from a good family, hardworking, ambitious, funny, caring, kind, a good listener, pragmatic, a leader, clean cut, taller than me, dad bod
/r/PurplePillDebate09/07/24 01:07 PM
1

My husband and I haven’t combined finances. We split rent 50/50, and then he pays for everything else. The money I have left over after paying rent is my fun money to do whatever with
/r/PurplePillDebate08/07/24 08:14 PM
1

I’m not for or against them, since getting a prenup is a highly individualized thing. For some couples a prenup makes perfect sense. For other couples, like my husband and I, spending the money and time on creating it would be useless. My husband is an attorney and people ask him about prenups, and he always says that they’re not worth it for the average joe, but if you think your hypothetical divorce could be simplified by one it’s best to schedule a consult with an attorney.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/07/24 08:08 PM
1

I have AuDHD so I really struggle socially, and my husband is the most normal guy you could ever meet. I think because we are complete opposites we balance each other out and have a strong relationship as a result. I think a lot of other couples can relate to that dynamic.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/07/24 05:07 PM
2

Yeah I got married to my first boyfriend when I was pretty young so I have no dating experience, I’m just here because I studied sociology and find these topics so interesting
/r/PurplePillDebate03/07/24 11:13 PM
1

My husband is the best cat dad and it 100% makes him hotter
/r/PurplePillDebate29/06/24 05:37 PM
3

I was a virgin when I met my husband and I straight up asked him about his history on our first date to make sure we are compatible. I didn’t want to waste my time or his if we had a very different outlook on intimacy
/r/PurplePillDebate28/06/24 06:39 PM
2

If you want to buy a house or grow old with someone it would be stupid to not get married, regardless of having kids or not. Your long term boyfriend/girlfriend can’t provide you any protection legally. Trying to obtain the benefits of marriage through various legal documents like a power of attorney, healthcare directive, cohabitation agreement, etc. is costly and still won’t protect you as much as marriage will.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/24 05:46 PM
3

My husband and I have been together for 8 years, and if we decide to have kids we’re waiting another 5-10 years. Right now we are able to go on vacation every week, we go out on romantic dates multiple times a week, we can do whatever we want whenever we want, we are able to fully immerse ourselves in our hobbies, and we have a ton of money that doesn’t have to go towards childcare and diapers. Who wouldn’t want to live that lifestyle with their best friend?
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/24 04:07 PM
3

I don’t know anyone who has dated more than 2-3 years older or younger
/r/PurplePillDebate22/06/24 12:18 PM
10

If you feel like you need to manipulate someone into a marriage then they don’t want to marry you, so why would you want to marry someone who doesn’t want you? I didn’t have to manipulate, bribe, or pressure my husband into proposing. He proposed because he wanted to marry me, it’s as simple as that. Trying to force a marriage sounds like a recipe for divorce.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/06/24 04:59 PM
–

I’m 26 and I think 30 is the new 20. When I was 18-20 I was terrified of aging, but from 23-26 I’ve gotten more attractive every year and it looks like I’m aging backwards. From what I’ve seen in my social circles this is pretty common. I was the youngest of my friends to settle down too, almost everyone else that I know in their mid-late 20’s are still single/casually dating. Settling down after 30 is the norm now, and a lot of people’s lives just aren’t built for marriage in their 20’s anymore
/r/PurplePillDebate17/06/24 01:56 PM
2

I’m a ballerina, and I do graphic design
/r/PurplePillDebate12/06/24 01:36 AM
4

I don’t understand why guys would want girls to be less picky honestly. Why would you want to date someone who lowered their standards to date you? I guess I have pretty high standards, and if I abandoned them to meet some random guy that I’d end up resenting, what good does that do either of us? My husband meets all of my standards and we have an extremely happy and easygoing relationship, and I honestly wouldn’t be able to say that if he didn’t.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/24 04:52 PM
3

This describes my husband and I. We’re in our mid-late 20’s and we are enjoying the DINK life so much that any plans/timelines for kids are paused for now
/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/24 11:36 AM
6

I wouldn’t want to be married to someone who wants to lead me/our family. I like being an equal in my marriage
/r/PurplePillDebate07/06/24 10:41 PM
4

My husband’s salary will go up considerably over the next 5-15 years, and at some point I’ll probably stop working simply because I won’t need to. At that point I won’t be bringing financial value to our marriage, but my husband has always said since day 1 that he wants me to do whatever makes me happiest. If sitting at home with our cat and baking muffins makes me happiest then that’s my contribution. My husband loves his job and profession and has no issues with being the breadwinner and suppo…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/06/24 07:19 PM
5

Yeah my husband is over 6’ tall and almost 400 lbs so to strangers in public he gives off major don’t even try to fuck with me vibes, even though he’s a teddy bear. I wouldn’t mind at all if he pretended to be some girl’s bf to get a guy off her back.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/06/24 06:55 PM
1

All of my friends are in the top % of women, so there’s no reason for them to settle with someone who won’t meet their standards or be accepted by their families
/r/PurplePillDebate06/06/24 10:51 PM
1

Never once in my entire life
/r/PurplePillDebate06/06/24 05:41 PM
2

The majority of my friends are single, and it’s not for a lack of trying. The most common problem I’ve heard from them is that the majority of single guys in our age range (24-27) aren’t looking for a serious relationship. Myself and a few other girls I know got married young, to guys who wanted to get married young. After that first wave of marriages happen there’s a 5-10 year gap because guys who aren’t already married don’t want to get married until their 30’s. I think if more guys in their l…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/06/24 05:33 PM
5

I’m 26 and I’m still on my mom’s phone plan, and my parents still pay for all of my flights. My brother is 24 and still lives at home with my mom and she does all of his cooking, cleaning, laundry, etc. Most of the people from my hometown circle have their rent paid for or subsidized by their parents, in addition to getting an allowance, well into their 30’s. My parents will continue to support us financially in some capacity until they die. Having kids is not an 18 year obligation, it is for li…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/06/24 03:37 PM
5

I don’t hate the US, I just genuinely don’t care that other people’s lives are crumbling around them because my life is great
/r/PurplePillDebate06/06/24 02:58 PM
7

I would never do a single thing for the good of the country. I only care about myself and what is best for me
/r/PurplePillDebate06/06/24 02:52 PM
3

It’s not unusual for me to do that every so often
/r/PurplePillDebate06/06/24 12:57 PM
1

I have a slightly underweight bmi and I have been called chubby a few times lmao
/r/PurplePillDebate04/06/24 05:20 PM
2

I grew up with a certain lifestyle and I wanted to maintain that lifestyle as an adult so my only standards were: have a good job where you make a lot of money, come from a good family, have goals that align with mine, and be larger than me. It rules out most men but thankfully I found my perfect match immediately
/r/PurplePillDebate03/06/24 12:46 PM
4

I am neurodivergent and my husband is an outlier for being able to deal with me. The average neurotypical person has very little patience for dealing with some of the things that come along with certain disabilities. When I found my husband I knew that I found a unicorn
/r/PurplePillDebate30/05/24 03:48 PM
2

That may be the case for some people, but not all people. I have been working with my doctor who specializes in obesity medicine for over a year now and we were able to pinpoint where my issues started and how to correct them.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/05/24 03:21 PM
2

You’re almost there, but not quite. Ghrelin is produced by the cells in your gastrointestinal tract which triggers the leptin to be released, and in an ideal situation when your stomach is full your ghrelin production will stop. But for a variety of reasons some peoples bodies don’t work in that perfect cycle.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/05/24 02:53 PM
0

I’m sure some people are fat because they simply eat too much or have a bad relationship with food. But for a lot of people, like myself, there’s something seriously wrong with the way their body creates and interprets hunger hormones. There was no amount of will power I could have used to lose weight without wegovy since it treats a medical issue for me.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/05/24 01:41 PM
1

That’s the way it should be. I think that the vast majority of people should be on it
/r/PurplePillDebate28/05/24 11:23 AM
3

I’ve been on wegovy for over a year, and it’s been a miracle wonder drug for me, and it’s definitely being used by more people now. I’m married so I’m not sure what effect weight loss has on people’s dating lives, but I’m definitely a million times more attractive today than I was a this time last year. If I were single I definitely think I would get more attention now vs. when I was bigger.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/05/24 11:12 AM
–

Exactly! My husband and I have been working insanely hard throughout college, grad school and post grad to get our lives in order before bringing kids into it. We have done every single thing right and by the book. I can’t wait to be a mom one day, but 26 years old is just not the time for all of that. My husband and I are in the top percentile for income and educational obtainment for our ages and we still couldn’t fit a baby into our budget. We’re still saving up for our first home. We have to…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/05/24 12:19 AM
–

That’s probably why you’re not very logical or bright then. The blind leading the blind.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/05/24 09:22 PM
–

You can’t work in early childhood education unless you have at least a bachelor’s in it, and some places require a masters. So your whole plan goes out the window immediately. If you manage to work your way up into fine dining you have the potential to make decent tips, as long as they’re not pooled. Your run of the mill waitress is making fuck all. So there goes all of that.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/05/24 09:10 PM
–

It doesn’t matter how much I make, because our money as a married couple goes into one big bank account. We don’t do tit for tat like high schoolers. IVF is pricey, but it is worth it for gender selection anyways. My job is the one that provides my health insurance and pension, so that is a massive factor in me working. Another massive factor is that I love my career. I think losing my health insurance, retirement plan, and career trajectory to sit at home alone while my husband tries to make en…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/05/24 06:17 PM
–

They absolutely do not. Your stay at home mom babies are going to be cleaning my babies toilets when they grow up.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/05/24 06:04 PM
–

35 is the new 25. I’m truly not worried about being considered a mother with advanced maternal age if that’s what I end up being. My husband and I will make around $160k combined this year. That sounds like a lot, but it really isn’t. We are currently saving for our first home and contributing to our retirement accounts. I don’t have student loans because my parents paid for my education, and my husband has a non-concerning amount of loans solely from law school (he had a full ride for undergrad…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/05/24 05:54 PM
–

Nope, it’s a causation. Children who are born into less than ideal situations are almost guaranteed to be screwed unless they really bust their ass to beat all odds. Not many people beat all odds. My husband is one of them and the differences between the opportunities we had as children, which directly affected our outcomes, are like night and day.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/05/24 05:45 PM
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I said 7-10 years, so I’ll likely be 33-36 which is the average age for educated and wealthy women to have kids. 45 is pushing it, but I know plenty of women who waited until their late 30’s and early 40’s for children. My mom was 37 when I was born, and 39 when my brother was born.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/05/24 05:23 PM
–

That’s not even remotely true. Children of wealthier parents have better outcomes in every single category of life - education, careers, marriage, etc.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/05/24 05:21 PM
–

No woman wants to spend her early 20’s at McDonald’s slinging french fries so she can save up pennies to have a welfare baby. People are put into that situation because of poverty and desperation, not by choice. Your “ideal scenario” is just poor people making poor babies. That’s not what we need more of. We need more educated people to make educated babies. I spent 18-23 getting my degrees, my husband spent 18-25 getting his degrees, now we are both spending the rest of our 20’s and early 30’s …
/r/PurplePillDebate21/05/24 05:04 PM
–

Do you genuinely believe that the average 23-28 year old man wants and can support a pregnant wife at home? It takes two incomes to live a normal life, unless one person is making $250k+ alone. I don’t know any 23 year old new grads making that kind of money. I got married young by US standards, engaged at 21 and married at 23, and now that I’m 26 I’m nowhere near mature enough, or financially stable enough, to raise a child. There’s more to life than being pregnant and sitting on the sofa all d…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/05/24 04:54 PM
7

If a worker is visiting our house my husband will be at home alone, or he will be at home with me. Not all men are bad guys, but some are, and it’s not worth the risk. It’s always good to use your best judgement and take some precautions when it comes to interacting with strangers. Women have been assaulted or worse by workers before, and they probably thought that it wouldn’t happen to them either. I’m conventionally attractive, young, and tiny so it’s just safer to have my husband around.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/05/24 04:33 PM
4

Yep. My grandma was a teacher, and my mom is a nurse. When I was in high school I told my mom that I wanted to be a stay at home mom and her exact response was “what the fuck is wrong with you, that is not an option”. Women have always worked.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/05/24 02:58 PM
10

I’ve heard of a ton of cases of women being murdered by men while hiking or running in the woods over the past few years. The recent UGA student, the woman in Memphis, the woman in Iowa, the delphi murders, and the Scandinavian women in Morocco immediately come to mind. A girl at my school was kidnapped from a bar and then murdered and left in the woods not too long ago. I’m sure there are a ton of others I can’t recall off the top of my head. I just googled “women attacked by bear” and there’s …
/r/PurplePillDebate21/05/24 01:26 PM
1

Marriage is protection. You can spend thousands of dollars and months of your time trying to replicate the protections of marriage with lawyers, and you still won’t get 100% of the benefits of being married. If a person who is supposed to be your life partner can look at you and say: I do not care about intertwining our lives legally, when I die you’re going to be a up a creek and I don’t care or I do care about protecting you legally if I die, but I don’t want to sign a $100 marriage license to…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/05/24 03:44 PM
–

I’m gen z (26) and all of my friends who are in relationships are with someone within 1-2 years of their age in either direction. I don’t know anyone who has dated significantly older or younger. My husband is 1.5 years older than me.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/05/24 01:04 PM
3

Some people are not built for casual relationships. I am one of them. I told my husband on our first date that I only wanted to date and marry one person, so if he wasn’t looking for this to lead to marriage in a timely manner then we are not compatible. Some men are not compatible with that style of dating, but thankfully my husband was. If you only want casual relationships then go for it.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/05/24 12:10 PM
3

I’m happily married so I don’t want to be approached anymore, but it would have been nice when I was younger. I missed out on all of the normal teen dating experiences
/r/PurplePillDebate17/05/24 11:20 AM
7

I have never been approached in public, at a store, at a bar, etc. 30 approaches every year sounds very high to me
/r/PurplePillDebate16/05/24 08:08 PM
3

I met my husband during my first semester of college on Bumble
/r/RedPillWomen06/05/24 05:28 PM
0

Personally guys with visible muscles scare me. My husband is strong but has a dad bod and I love it
/r/PurplePillDebate06/05/24 03:33 PM
14

I think it depends on where you live. I’m gen z too, and my friends back home in the northeast US who want commitment can’t find guys who are serious about marriage. No one wants to settle down until their 30’s there. On the flip side, I went to college in the south and graduating with a ring on your finger is pretty much the norm. I met my husband at 18, got engaged at 21, and married at 23 and that was normal. There wasn’t a shortage of guys who were looking for that timeline too.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/04/24 05:55 PM
–

Upper middle class
/r/PurplePillDebate25/04/24 10:27 PM
–

Personally, no. I grew up UMC, and I think the lifestyle differences would be too large for me to accept and overcome.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/04/24 10:18 PM
1

I studied sociology in college so topics like this fascinate me
/r/PurplePillDebate20/04/24 12:05 PM
3

Not everyone is everyone’s cup of tea and that’s perfectly fine by me
/r/PurplePillDebate20/04/24 11:51 AM
1

I’m super into social media, and it’s my career, so I post a lot. My husband ends up being in the majority of my posts because we’re together the majority of the time. We’re truly happy and thriving, so the posts aren’t fake. If someone looks at my insta and needs to tell themselves it’s fake so they feel better I’m okay with that, but it doesn’t make it true. Is there some truth to it for some couples? Sure. But it’s not a blanket statement.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/04/24 11:27 AM
–

Guys can tell within 3-6 months if they’re going to marry you, and the ones that know you’re not the one but string you along anyways can’t like or respect you as a person. When you meet a new guy they know if you’re the placeholder or the wife, and they have no problem disrespecting placeholders. If he wanted to, he would. And he doesn’t.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/04/24 04:45 PM
–

I’ve been in stage 2 for 8 years. If a guy doesn’t actually like you and doesn’t see a future with you, why would he put effort into the relationship?
/r/PurplePillDebate19/04/24 04:42 PM
5

I’ve never had any guy friends, I haven’t tried to get any and I’ve never avoided it, it just hasn’t happened. I don’t think that it’s too uncommon honestly
/r/PurplePillDebate20/03/24 05:12 PM
12

Greek life as in sorority life
/r/PurplePillDebate01/03/24 09:24 PM
3

Yeah my husband and I both have wildly different strengths, so that’s how we divide things. He handles 0% of my tasks, and I handle 0% of his. Our division of labor may look different sometimes or long term, but for right now we’ve found what works for us. It’s not 50/50, it’s 100% me and 100% my husband.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/02/24 06:55 PM
1

If I had never met my husband I wouldn’t allow myself to be settled for. I’d rather remain single for life than partner up with someone who thinks they can do better.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/02/24 05:46 PM
3

I’ve worked on myself a ton recently - I’ve lost a ton of weight, I got some plastic surgery, and I’ve perfected my hair and makeup routine. I used to be the fat and ugly girl that no one would touch with a 10 foot pole, until one day I got sick of being the butt of everyone’s jokes.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/01/24 12:46 AM
1

I’m from Boston
/r/PurplePillDebate31/01/24 12:24 AM
5

I’m upper middle/upper class, from a big city, I love going out and in my circles people don’t sleep around
/r/PurplePillDebate30/01/24 09:53 PM
8

I’m married but when I was single I was never approached by a guy in public or on dating apps, until my husband came along. In my case it’s because I’m ugly. I have friends who have been hit on at bars before, so it definitely still happens.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/01/24 02:24 PM
–

You should redo this “experiment” at the university of alabama, or any SEC school💀
/r/PurplePillDebate26/01/24 12:53 PM
5

My aunt never got married, never had kids, and is now a single 62 year old with 2 cats. She’s very happy, and happier than a lot of other people I know who are married with children. I’m happily married and a cat mom, but if I had never met my husband I would have chosen to stay single with my cat.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/12/23 07:29 PM
11

Completely agree
/r/PurplePillDebate18/12/23 05:59 AM
11

I grew up with an affluent lifestyle and I only considered affluent men while I was dating so I could keep the same lifestyle I was always used to. So it definitely helps if you’re looking to date within a certain demographic.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/12/23 03:43 AM
3

Yep. When I told my dad that I wanted to meet my husband in college and settle down he said “You couldn’t even get asked to prom, I don’t think we’ll have to worry about that.” Jokes on him because I did end up settling down during college but when your own family finds it shocking someone could like you it sucks
/r/PurplePillDebate10/12/23 02:52 PM
8

I’ve lost a ton of weight this year and I haven’t had any experiences like the people you’ve known. Mentally I still feel fat so if someone is looking at me in public my mind immediately goes to “they’re making fun of me for being fat” vs “maybe they think I’m pretty”
/r/PurplePillDebate10/12/23 02:19 PM
4

It depends on where you’re from. At colleges in the south the “ring by spring” thing is 1000% true, and I know more people who were married by 24 than not
/r/PurplePillDebate17/11/23 04:33 PM
1

My husband meets all of the criteria and is happily married
/r/PurplePillDebate12/11/23 02:36 AM
–

Sometimes my husband asks for advice on what color shirt or pants to wear so in those instances yes, but in general no
/r/PurplePillDebate09/11/23 03:21 PM
1

My definition of success for my husband is having a career that he enjoys while making enough money to support our lifestyle. I have some baseline standards for success - has a degree, has steady employment, and earns at least $100k (for now). I grew up with a certain lifestyle and I had no interest downgrading as an adult.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/11/23 12:14 PM
3

I called my husband my partner before we got engaged because being 21 and saying “my boyfriend” was embarrassing and didn’t reflect the nature of our relationship. Now that we’re married I would have no issue using partner or husband interchangeably. Yes, he’s my husband, but he’s also my best friend and life partner so it holds a lot of weight. Any idiot can go out and sign a marriage license to get a husband, but finding your soulmate who is your true love and partner through thick and thin is…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/11/23 11:47 AM
2

People mainly date and marry within their social class. If you’re a middle class or lower class guy you’re not screwed, you’re just not marrying an upper middle or upper class girl.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/11/23 11:06 PM
–

I’m politically neutral, left leaning. I don’t vote and I don’t care about what’s going on politically. I don’t think my politics (or lack thereof) influence my marriage, since my husband is the same way.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/11/23 11:02 PM
5

The second I met my husband I was extremely into him so I was pretty aggressive in making moves early on. We met on bumble so I messaged him first, I texted him first after our first date, I started calling him my boyfriend pretty immediately, and I said I love you first. I don’t see anything wrong with that, and obviously it worked out in my favor.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/11/23 08:32 PM
1

Same. My husband is incredible, attractive, the perfect catch, etc. but if he had asked me out in the target cereal aisle we wouldn’t be married right now.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/11/23 06:42 PM
4

If a guy cold approached me I would always consider it to be creepy and would never consider going out with him no matter what he looked like. I’d be shocked if a girl agrees to go out with a random stranger off the street honestly.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/11/23 05:52 PM
8

Same. I’ve never been hit on or cat called
/r/PurplePillDebate31/10/23 06:55 PM
1

I’m a very shy and socially awkward person when you first meet me, so I can’t be with someone who is similar to me. My husband is very outgoing so our vibe’s balance each other out and it’s perfect. I don’t think less of people who are like me, I just wouldn’t date them.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/10/23 03:41 PM
2

I just personally don’t find those body types attractive
/r/PurplePillDebate27/10/23 09:26 PM
3

I’m not overweight now, I grew up overweight and it was traumatizing so I do everything in my power to be as small as possible. I was a little overweight when I met my husband and I did look small next to him even at my highest weight. It’s not just about height, it’s about the man having a physically larger frame and weight too. I don’t find tall men who are fit, thin, or muscular attractive. Now I’m underweight and I really like how tiny I look next to him because he’s 6’2” and 250 pounds larg…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/10/23 07:42 PM
1

Yep
/r/PurplePillDebate27/10/23 05:57 PM
1

Personally I grew up as a bigger girl, so I wanted to marry someone much taller and larger than me so I would look petite and feminine in comparison. I’m 5’6” so when I wear heels I can be pretty tall and I didn’t want to feel like an ogre next to my husband. I also like how he’s able to easily lift me up and throw me around. It’s just a preference and not a requirement for me, so if my husband was exactly the same but shorter I wouldn’t have turned him down.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/10/23 04:37 PM
–

I was a virgin when I met my husband and I was glad that he was a little experienced, but not too experienced. I would have dated him if he was a virgin too, but I wouldn’t have dated him if his body count was too high. He had never been in a relationship before (like me) and I preferred that.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/10/23 03:10 PM
2

For us it was purely a sleepover, we didn’t end up becoming intimate with each other until a year into our relationship. But I don’t judge people who do sleep with their date on the first one.
/r/RedPillWomen26/10/23 05:31 PM
1

?
/r/PurplePillDebate25/10/23 09:52 PM
1

I would definitely date a male version of me, I’m a catch lol
/r/PurplePillDebate25/10/23 09:24 PM
3

I slept over my husband’s house on our first date, and I thought it was perfectly fine 🤷🏼‍♀️
/r/RedPillWomen25/10/23 09:00 PM
3

This page does a really good job at explaining the text of the ketubah. The ketubah promises that the groom will provide the bride with food, clothing, and marital relations. It’s not legally binding in the US, but it can be enforced in Israel in civil courts in some situations. It’s legally binding in Jewish law and if a husband wants to be let out of a marriage they have to receive a get from their rabbi, which the wife would accept and they would be divorced according to Jewish law. If a woma…
/r/RedPillWomen19/10/23 03:52 PM
1

Not every girl likes thin or muscular guys. I prefer larger guys, and there’s plenty of other girls out there who have the same preference.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/10/23 11:37 PM
1

When I was 18 I decided that I wanted to get on the dating scene for the first time, and joined bumble. Almost 3 months after downloading the app this guy asked me to be his date to his fraternity’s party. We started dating that night, talked life plans and goals a couple of days later, we got engaged my junior year and now we’ve been happily married for almost 2 years. I know you said no dating apps but that’s how every married person I know met their spouse so…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/09/23 11:42 PM
7

I met my husband at 18, we got engaged when I was 21, and married when I was 23. I think that was the perfect age for marriage personally!
/r/RedPillWomen14/08/23 06:21 PM
6

In my personal life every single married person I know married someone they met in college so this stat actually doesn’t shock me if it’s true. I married my college boyfriend the year after graduation.
/r/RedPillWomen14/08/23 02:35 PM
1

Personally I wouldn’t
/r/PurplePillDebate06/08/23 03:46 AM
1

It’s not really about the expectation of someone paying, nobody should expect anything, I just think it’s the polite thing to do. Clearly it works very well for some people.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/07/23 10:39 AM
2

Personally I think if the guy asks a girl out on a date he should pay, and vice versa. My husband and I followed the system where whoever planned the date paid for our first few, and then after that we switched to splitting 50/50.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/07/23 10:35 AM
1

I’m married, and I have 2 friends who are engaged or in a long term relationship. None of us are with stereotypical take charge alpha males. Our partners are more soft spoken. In my experience I don’t know many women who are attracted to alpha males, it’s much more likely for me to see people pair off with quieter, “nerdy” guys.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/07/23 01:13 AM
1

Have you looked into Wegovy? I’ve lost 46 pounds in 4 months on it.
/r/RedPillWomen12/07/23 01:57 PM
8

My husband and I met on a Thursday night, spent all day together that Friday and Saturday, and defined our relationship Saturday night. Sometimes when you know, you know. I don’t think it’s too early if that’s what feels right.
/r/RedPillWomen10/07/23 05:28 PM
–

I’m very happily married but I lurk/occasionally comment because I studied sociology (with a focus on race, class, and gender) in college and this sub just fascinates me. Also I got married less than 2 years ago, and met my husband on bumble, so I have a pretty good sense of the current dating scene through my experience/what all of my friends are going through.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/07/23 09:31 PM
3

Yes
/r/PurplePillDebate03/07/23 09:39 PM
10

This is so true. I turned 18 in the middle of my senior year of high school, but I didn’t date until I got to college later that year. I got asked on one date, I asked him to be my boyfriend the next day, we got engaged after my junior year, and we got married almost 2 years ago. I was technically “on the market” for ~10 weeks of my life before settling down. I know more girls that I went to school with who followed my path than girls who dated/slept with tons of guys.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/07/23 03:53 PM
8

That’s why I’m here too lol, and boredom
/r/PurplePillDebate19/05/23 12:47 AM
2

Not every woman is attracted to what most people would consider attractive, or would hit the bar you consider “good enough”. My husband is legitimately the hottest guy I’ve ever seen and the only guy I’ve ever been attracted to, but a lot of people wouldn’t consider him to be conventionally attractive. So you may say a guy has a 0 in looks but I may think he’s a 100 so this definitely doesn’t apply to every situation.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/05/23 12:42 AM
6

I was single from ages 0-17, and I haven’t been single since I was 18. I’m 24 now and married. I met my husband when I was 18, he was my first boyfriend ever, and we got married when I was 23.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/06/22 04:02 AM
1

My husband hits 1 & 2 but not 3 because I love dad bods. I would say a reasonably large % of men hit 2/3, a smaller portion hit all 3.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/22 03:48 AM
1

I’m married and have never dated so I don’t have a ton of experience but my friends who are actively searching for long term relationships are able to find them decently easily. Don’t give up!!!
/r/RedPillWomen17/02/22 03:47 AM
16

I feel the same way. On a planet with billions of women I’m sure a handful of them can be considered “more attractive” than me, but my husband would not be attracted to them.
/r/RedPillWomen23/01/22 05:09 PM
2

I have a pretty similar timeline! We dated for a year before I lost my virginity to him, we got engaged a year and a half later, then we had a 2.5 year engagement before getting married a couple of weeks ago
/r/RedPillWomen23/12/21 06:14 PM
7

I met my husband on Bumble, I wouldn’t rule out dating apps entirely. My husband and I were not in the same social circle at school (he is older) and if it weren’t for bumble, we never would have met.
/r/RedPillWomen21/12/21 03:27 PM
1

Yeah it has to be a very concrete plan, not just ok let’s get married .. sex now? We spent an entire year living together, figuring out our future, changing our life goals/plans to become one life plan, becoming best friends, having long, deep conversations, him asking my parents, buying a ring, etc. Like genuinely planning for the marriage not just hearing I want to marry you and immediately jumping into bed
/r/RedPillWomen10/10/21 05:50 PM
3

when I met my fiancé, I was a virgin. When we started dating one of the first things that I told him was that I wanted to wait until marriage. About a year after we started dating, I lost my virginity to him because we set a concrete timeline of when we were going to get engaged and married. When I knew that we would get married, we had sex. It was amazing, because we spent the entire year becoming best friends, and then having sex with your best friend and future husband is amazing. That was 4 …
/r/RedPillWomen10/10/21 03:13 PM
1

People like to shit on alabama because it’s an easy target but it’s a damn good school. I graduated last year from the APR program which was #1 in the nation last year, and has been #1/top 5 in the nation for the past 10 years. The engineering, nursing, and education schools are also top notch
/r/PurplePillDebate03/03/21 07:32 PM
4

I met my fiancé my freshman year of college on Bumble. He is a HVM, who wanted to settle down young. Don’t completely rule out dating apps. I also am an introvert, and it didn’t affect his attraction to me at all.
/r/RedPillWomen19/01/21 12:46 AM
1

Personally I am only attracted to the “dad bod+” body type. I met my fiancé when he was almost 400 pounds and he was extremely attractive to me then, and now he’s almost 70 pounds down and has more of a classic dad bod and obviously still extremely attractive to me. I think a lot of my attraction to his body comes from two things- him just being attractive overall, and also I like feeling small next to him. I am a taller, plus size girl and I like feeling petite next to him because I don’t have …
/r/PurplePillDebate31/12/20 01:30 AM
2

Also most girls go to college now so after you graduate it would be pretty weird and a waste of money to not get a job while you’re waiting for a husband
/r/PurplePillDebate05/10/20 12:40 AM
1

Definitely not true, especially people from conservative states. Myself along with many other people I have met (not just religious people) believe in 1 partner for life. 10-20 people is a ton
/r/PurplePillDebate07/09/20 01:44 PM
7

Roll Tide!! yeah I feel like people in the south date to marry more than other places, and that’s what I did, so I met my soulmate at 18 and he was my first boyfriend ever and we’re getting married next year, so I guess from my perspective I just don’t understand how “casual” relationships would work, or why someone would want that
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen05/06/20 07:40 PM
10

Interesting. I’m pretty inexperienced with dating/never really dated so I didn’t realize how common it is
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen05/06/20 06:51 PM
19

I’m probably out of touch but is dating today much different than it was before (like are the majority of people casually dating)??
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen05/06/20 06:12 PM
1

I would say anywhere between 1 and 4 at all ages
/r/PurplePillDebate09/03/20 07:31 PM
2

I was 18, and he was almost 21. We matched on Bumble, and he asked me if I wanted to go to his fraternity’s semi formal with him. I said yes, and we’ve been together ever since!! Today is actually exactly 2.5 years after we met, and we’re getting engaged in July!!
/r/RedPillWomen18/05/19 01:04 AM
2

My sorority has specific standards policies, I could probably send you them so you can get an idea of the rules
/r/RedPillWomen25/05/18 05:14 PM
6

that’s just for fraternities!! Sororities/Panhellenic have too many rules against hazing to get away with it. For example, Panhellenic told us that we can’t call the new members babies anymore because it’s “hazing”, so if we post on insta with a caption like “Welcoming the new babies home!!” the sorority gets fined.
/r/RedPillWomen25/05/18 05:10 PM
5

I am in a sorority and I love it!! I go to the University of Alabama and we have the largest and most competitive Greek system in the country so it’s been a great experience. There is a good amount of partying (tailgating, fraternity band parties, date parties, formals) but you are never pressured to party or drink, it’s totally optional. Since you have to have the right look/personality/style to be in a sorority, there aren’t a lot of trashy girls involved (at least at my school). Sororities at…
/r/RedPillWomen25/05/18 04:53 PM
9

yes!! I met my boyfriend/soon to be fiancé on Bumble and we never would have met if it weren’t for Bumble! After I met my boyfriend all of my friends downloaded the app 😂
/r/RedPillWomen04/05/18 02:14 PM
3

I was just gonna say this, I refuse to accept that she’s my age
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen04/05/18 04:25 AM
1

When I met my boyfriend’s family for the first time I made Peanut butter brownies, fudge brownies, and a huge chocolate chip cookie and they were a huge hit with his whole family!! pics of the stuff I made :)
/r/RedPillWomen29/04/18 06:36 PM
5

I met my boyfriend (soon to be fiancé) on Bumble!!! I also was a Virgin when I met him, and we didn’t have sex until after 10.5 months of being in a relationship. There are definitely guys on Bumble/Tinder that just want to hook up but it is possible to find someone with the same views as you!! I was always very up front with guys that I matched with and it worked out perfectly! (btw I’m 20, in college, in a sorority, attractive, and my boyfriend is 22, graduating college in May, in a fraternity…
/r/RedPillWomen09/04/18 12:09 AM
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