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annamae602 Archive

View 2 posts and 174 comments by annamae602 on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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Upvotes Title Category Author Subreddit Date (UTC)
138

MALE DEPRAVITYannamae602/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/08/20 03:49 PM
86

LibFem Logicannamae602/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/08/20 04:12 PM
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
8

I had a conversation with a friend recently, relevant to the point you bring up. She had posted a photo of herself in a bikini on Instagram, and said she figured out a way to find out how many people saved the photo, and was pleased to see the photo was saved more than once. She used the term “spank bank”, implying men on her Instagram thought she looked hot and saved the photo to jerk off to later. I impulsively expressed disgust at that term and she took it personally and questioned me. THEN I…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/10/21 07:44 PM
5

We can argue that voting conservative means going against abortion but if conservative women could team up with all women of all political standpoints and realize that abortion is a basic human rights issue, it would be nornalized a lot faster than if we continue fighting about it. This. Exactly this. Thank you for putting this into words!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/10/21 07:13 PM
18

Demisexuality is only a term because hypersexuality has become the norm. It's an attempt to "other" the bulk of the population to a meaningless category, and I view it as a symptom of the larger pornified culture. Feeling sexual attraction to someone only when you're emotionally bonded is a normal, healthy variation of sex drive, is perfectly standard human behavior and doesn't need a label.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/10/21 06:29 PM
141

Both. Men reliably orgasm from PIV. Receiving oral is usually just about degradation for them.
/r/askFDS10/10/21 06:31 AM
8

If you advocate against abortion access but don't advocate for male abstinence, you're a hypocrite.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/10/21 04:07 PM
10

I'm in the same boat as you and I sympathize 100%. I have family and friends who live nearby and I still get lonely, so it is totally normal. What is your neighborhood like? Are there any community events, volunteer opportunities, etc., to meet people in the area? I know it's cliché but it really works. I've made friends with my neighbors and that has been a great way for me to socialize. We have adjoining porches and drink wine together in the nice weather. Also, give yourself more time to sett…
/r/askFDS01/10/21 03:23 PM
13

I can't believe this isn't satire.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/09/21 07:21 PM
10

Bingo. They know, they always know
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/09/21 07:51 PM
25

That just means “I wish you would see me as a good father so I can feel better about myself.” Men like this think children are born to validate their manhood, and then are shocked when the children grow up to be human beings with feelings.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/09/21 07:50 PM
21

I am a fan of playing the “dumb fox” and innocently saying, “Huh? What does that mean?” and repeat the process until he digs his own grave. If you don’t feel like engaging, just ignore him for good. But by no means educate.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/09/21 07:42 PM
132

I bet a good portion of those are men who gaslight and abuse their own wives so they’re demonizing her to make themselves feel better
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/09/21 01:41 PM
7

I thought the same thing and wondered if he was older and grooming her. But someone in the comments above found an article that says he's only 23.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/09/21 05:10 PM
7

The dogged authoritarianism of the left is extremely concerning especially when violence against dissenters has become sanctioned and normalized. This, so much this. Lukashenko began his political career in Belarus "fighting corruption" and he has manipulated his way into a far-right dictatorship. Nothing is inherently good or evil about either side of political ideology (with maybe a few extreme exceptions). The evil is in the implementation of policy, and how authoritarians will manipulate ide…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/05/21 04:34 PM
85

Thank!!! You!!! And to the "sex work is work" parrots: If you wouldn't put sex work on a professional resume, then hate to break it to y'all but it ain't work.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/05/21 07:55 PM
9

Baby/beginner rad fem over here who also collects antique clothing!! Love all of it, the corsets, the boning, the patterns, the textiles, the workmanship. But not to romanticize or idolize it, but study it. It grounds me, and adds another level to understanding women's path through history and how we'll be perceived in the future, which is integral for debates like the one on this thread. Imagine, "women in the early 21st century had it so hard... so glad I was born in the 2100s". We have to be …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/05/21 07:41 PM
25

Yeah, I’m not giving up my last name for anything if I ever marry. I also hate the narrative that if kids don’t share a name with one parent or the other that is somehow a wedge in the family unit....I don’t buy it. Kids can understand and adapt to anything—as if they would care about a last name. They would take it in stride. I think that’s just gaslighting in an attempt to guilt a woman into literally giving up her identity and symbolically giving up her autonomy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/05/21 05:10 PM
8

Omg, that’s how she wanted to spend her birthday! Pickmes know no bounds 🤦‍♀️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/05/21 04:43 PM
20

Would your husband be...her brother??? She wants to go to a strip club with her brother??
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/05/21 04:01 PM
6

I commented this below on someone else’s comment, but I think it deserves its own thread. I ask this question from an observational, objective perspective: If we look at images of matriarchal societies, many outside of the western world, we’ll see “beauty standards” which we would also recognize as beautiful: beautiful colors, shapes, clothes, fabrics and textures, many which complement and enhance the female body. How does this influence the way we analyze our beauty standards in our patriarcha…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/05/21 04:45 AM
1

Good points here. As I was reading through your comment and other comments here, I thought to myself that art and beauty exist on a basic, instinctive level for humans. Beauty and beautiful things, people and beauty standards exist in matriarchal societies too. How does that influence our analysis of this subject, from our western, patriarchal perspective? I don’t know if I have an answer but we have to ask the question. Because even those who critique beauty standards are still coming from a pl…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/05/21 04:29 AM
22

Want to add some fashion history context to your already fantastic analysis for everyone! Disclaimer, this is a western perspective. Corsets, previously known as Stays, actually served the purpose of supporting the weight of petticoats and skirts, along with back support and breast support. The word corset (derived etymologically from French meaning “little body”) came into popular use in the early Victorian era, around the 1840s. This is also when tight-lacing became popular in very high fashio…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/05/21 03:33 AM
8

Yes, FDS swifties! Now putting folklore on repeat for the rest of the day 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/05/21 07:58 PM
63

I remember reading Taylor was never comfortable with showing her belly button, and she’s upheld that standard for herself for her whole career. I thought of Taylor as a great analogy here, too—Taylor still wears what she wants, looks amazing and feminine and sexy, but never draws a connection that her femininity is meant to make some grand statement about women’s sexuality and worth like Billie did. Because that’s the issue: no one cares that Billie is wearing lingerie. People who think anyone c…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/05/21 03:42 PM
52

“Ironically demonstrating said opportunistic oppression” Yep, only a man would put those words together to show everyone what a big brain he has. But who knows.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/05/21 05:38 AM
33

Exactly. Any vaguely attractive/sexual image will further commodify any other woman they interact with, in any context. It’s all one big nasty cycle and it sucks that women have to be the vigilant ones.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/05/21 05:13 AM
4

You are being very nasty! I hope you are okay. Have a good night.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/05/21 04:39 AM
14

Along the same lines: early in their marriage, my NVM father convinced my mom not to get her masters degree and take care of the kids. Fast forward 20 years to their divorce, and he complains how she never got an advanced degree (consequently has a lower-paying job) and blames her because he has to pay a hefty amount in alimony. Funny how that works!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/05/21 04:19 AM
2

Yes, we’ve all been there. I can even remember some instances in which my lack of boundaries actually repelled some guys who might have been HVMs. Building boundaries back up won’t happen overnight—it’s like a muscle which will get stronger each time you use it.
/r/askFDS03/05/21 02:49 AM
11

Exactly. OLD is voluntary commodification.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/05/21 02:09 AM
4

Wow. Reread the handbook. That’s why your comment was removed.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/05/21 01:43 AM
2

No one is dragging her. They are lamenting that she was probably groomed and seems to misunderstand empowerment as sexualizing oneself for men’s enjoyment. No one has a problem with what she is or isn’t wearing. The problem is with the continued brainwashing of revealing, sexy = empowering. It’s a lie, a MYTH propagated by a porn obsessed society and every time another woman engages in this myth, it harms women everywhere. Moreover, she is not just any old 19-year-old. No one is blaming her, but…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/05/21 09:49 PM
11

Honestly I would just say “no thank you.” Don’t give a reason, because that subtly gives him instruction. If his response is to quickly amend the situation, apologize and offer something more substantial, great. I’d consider accepting. Any other response (not understanding the issue, getting offended, etc.) will be the trash taking itself out.
/r/askFDS30/04/21 03:24 AM
14

Spot on. I wish I realized earlier that too much charm is a big red flag.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/04/21 03:16 AM
36

All I can say is: this! So much this. I wish every teenage girl in the world could read and understand this. I also never bothered with boys when I was younger and had some FOMO in my late teen/college years, but now I am SO grateful. Like you, I picked a harmless friend to “lose my virginity” (hate that phrase) to in college and it was...fine! Just fine. But then I knew I wasn’t missing out on anything. Lol. Total freedom from the FOMO after that, and I could focus on myself.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/04/21 04:14 PM
33

Haha! I thought the same thing...she makes good points on this subject but it seems like she goes off the deep end otherwise...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/04/21 05:36 PM
23

Spot on. I realized the other day that there are practically no men who invade my space on a regular basis. I have an all-female staff at my place of work, and most of the family members and friends I see regularly are women (with the exception of my best friend who is a gay man.) I’ve also deleted my social media to strengthen boundaries around who has access to me and my image. I’m 100% positive all of this coincided with my self-confidence, recent weight loss, and general productivity, well-b…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/04/21 05:11 PM
64

I’ve always believed that self-discipline is the best form of self-care.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/04/21 05:14 PM
88

You already know he’s low value. He’s permanently out of the running. Listen to your gut. Block him!
/r/askFDS05/04/21 04:06 PM
14

Bingo!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/04/21 05:51 PM
6

I got into an argument with my friend who uses Instagram and found out that photos she posted in a bikini were saved by a few people. She used the term “spank bank”. Of course I tried in vain to explain why that was extremely dehumanizing but she thought it was flattering. Make it make sense. Because I can’t 🤦‍♀️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/03/21 03:59 PM
44

The “hopefully I hope” is killing me 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/03/21 07:16 AM
117

The perfect comeback is silence
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/01/21 02:24 AM
40

Would your dream guy be “careless and forgetful” and forget about a date with you not once, but twice? If the answer is no he wouldn’t, this is obviously not him. You already blocked this dope, so now just forget about him and let some other poor woman put up with him. Lol
/r/askFDS18/01/21 10:50 PM
91

Yep. I know a woman who dated her boyfriend for 11 years and when they finally married, a year later she was diagnosed with a rare form of cancer and died within months. That story haunts me. He wasted the last decade of her life.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/01/21 08:50 PM
326

I love that he was a little embarrassed she was showing him off. He doesn’t do it for the attention, he does it for her
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/01/21 03:24 AM
44

“Fuck philanthropy, let me spend my money on diamond-encrusted porn” 🙄
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/01/21 11:56 PM
14

Olena Beley's "Clearly Aligned" podcast is my favorite, she mostly speaks about spiritually, skincare and self-improvement if you're into that. Not so much dating, but she touches on it once in a while. I don't think she's a part of the FDS community but her dating advice seems to echo FDS in many ways.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/01/21 04:05 PM
48

I’m very similar to you where I’m very liberal/democratic and was educated at one of the most liberal universities in the country, so all of my friends are like that too. One of my gay, male, super liberal friends blew up at me in a group text with our other friends about a year ago (for no apparent reason) and has treated me with contempt ever since. He has some terrible narc tendencies and I think what happened is that he perceived my new boundaries and threw a fit because he couldn’t cross th…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/01/21 01:44 PM
9

Hahaha I saw that and thought the same thing 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/01/21 05:28 AM
2

Opinion pieces are the scourge of any publication.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/01/21 11:44 PM
1

Exactly. The NYT is one of the most reputable publications and just because it’s left leaning does not discount that they report only on facts.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/01/21 07:35 PM
16

Culture & style section editorial/opinion pieces. They require less critical thinking and rigorous reporting and are generally low-effort to read. Not to mention these pieces are seen as "trendy" and "woke". I wouldn't say this represents NYT political and world news reporting, though
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/01/21 04:46 PM
6

Exactly. And they don’t really want to better themselves, they just think they deserve a world without consequences because that’s what they’re used to.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/01/21 10:26 PM
28

Because I’ll bet you good money most of the men in that court room were rapists, too, so if they excuse this man’s sins they excuse their own.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/01/21 02:21 AM
150

Delusional men are dangerous men.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/01/21 02:16 AM
5

Anytime! Lol
/r/askFDS07/01/21 02:14 AM
68

Echoing the other comments; you can’t and you don’t. If he stops putting in effort and/or treating you the way you’d like to be treated in a relationship, you bounce.
/r/askFDS06/01/21 11:17 PM
13

Nope, you aren't too picky, nor do you need to worry about being in a relationship right now. I'm 24 and never been in a long-term relationship because, ahem, men ain't shit. Don't feel pressured, you sound like deep down you know what's right for you. Keep up with those standards and boundaries. Stick with that instinct, focus on building a career and developing hobbies, and make a bomb-ass life for yourself.
/r/askFDS18/12/20 04:26 PM
4

He’s clearly making you VERY uncomfortable and doesn’t care. Cut off contact and BLOCK HIM honey!!! Why do you feel uncomfortable blocking him when he clearly has given NO thought to how he might be making YOU feel?? If asserting boundaries makes you a bitch, so be it. Embrace it. If you happen to see him around, he should be the one embarrassed for harassing you. Not the other way around.
/r/askFDS17/12/20 08:51 PM
23

This is spot on and the first time I’m really putting this together.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/12/20 07:32 PM
10

I feel that too. Best way is to lead by example and hopefully your friends will learn by seeing your success and happiness. 💕
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/12/20 06:19 PM
32

Exactly!! I’ve actually said this sentiment to her before and she responded with, “well I don’t care what men think of me.” I thought to myself, you want to be seen as independent or you don’t care? Which one is it?? 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/12/20 06:18 PM
122

Yep. I have a dear friend who is adamant about being the “cool girl” and making the first move. We don’t get into fights per say, but she tries to no avail to explain (to herself, as much as to me) why it’s “progressive” and “breaks down gender norms” to chase a man. Usually we just don’t even broach the subject because we’ll never agree. This poor woman has been the victim of narc abuse in every, literally EVERY relationship she’s been in and doesn’t see the connection. It’s painful to see her …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/12/20 05:19 PM
71

The “but I’ll be fine thanks” kills me 😂😂 Aww what a poor little baby
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/12/20 06:19 PM
235

FDS is heavily flavored in many ways with radical feminism and radfem is the only type of feminism that really, truly threatens to dismantle the patriarchy. That is a big no-no to men who pretend to be feminists so they can exploit sex-positive culture and they don’t like it when we hurt their feelings 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/12/20 12:17 AM
17

Yes!! My mom has a corgi/sheltie who is cute as hell but barks and growls ferociously at absolutely everything. She’ll nip, too. Annoying sometimes but feels great to have a guard dog, even a tiny one.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/12/20 04:00 AM
4

I just want to add that I experienced something very similar at your age. My sister has an anxiety disorder so I grew up in a very pro-therapy family, and I was always pushed to try talk therapy. (I grew up with a narc father). The therapists I went to in my youth did not help and caused more anxiety, and would tell me similar sentiments to what you’re describing. I am not a talker and genuinely don’t find talking to be cathartic. I was always told talking makes everything better, you shouldn’t …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/11/20 10:59 PM
8

I’m sure that he was only “very sorry it happened” because he thought his position was in jeopardy. This man sounds like a master manipulator. Don’t feel guilty.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/11/20 03:48 AM
21

This!!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/11/20 09:12 PM
121

This is spot on. I totally agree, especially about young girls who identify as 'demisexual'. That used to be me in college, I thought something was wrong with me because I wasn't attracted to every decent guy who breathed in my direction. Women just aren't attracted to perverted, casual porn-sex and being treated as masturbatory objects, and no wonder! On one hand, better for these girls to make up a name to classify their aversion than to be brainwashed and abused. On the other, it's so fucked …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/11/20 09:04 PM
8

SO sexist. I'm glad someone pointed that out, I love SNL but it's been pissing me off to no end
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/11/20 03:41 PM
3

The only guys who say this gross shit are guys looking to take advantage of you. Run far away from him
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/11/20 03:04 AM
106

Um, it says that Taylor’s laughing and drinking wine in her $17 million beach house she bought with cold hard cash. This guy is an idiot.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/11/20 05:36 AM
29

Yeah I agree, this is clearly a man
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/11/20 11:49 PM
51

This isn’t even a red flag, this is the behavior that red flags warn you about. Run.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/10/20 10:07 PM
1

You are spot 👏on👏
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/10/20 04:29 PM
17

He is extremely low value and playing you like a fiddle. Make no mistake, he’s walking all over you and knows it. Please take some time to read the FDS handbook as it will answer all of your questions. You do not want a future with him.
/r/askFDS25/10/20 10:41 PM
4

Your instincts are right, never explain! Don’t tell him what your standards are. The only way men find them out should be from the big ol’ BLOCK when they don’t meet them. Ultimately it is up to you what you’ll accept from him. For me, I would assume he is now blocked for wasting my time. Just offering another invitation over text would not be enough for me. Maybe if he sent a nice bouquet or something, great, I’d go out again, but I wouldn’t expect him to do so.
/r/askFDS25/10/20 01:49 AM
71

HAHAHA this is word-for-word how my mother deals with her ex-husband. He is desperate for any interaction with her so he does everything he can (name calling, refusing to send things, gaslighting) to prolong their interactions. I love when men throw tantrums because women refuse to be manipulated. Good for you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/10/20 06:06 PM
18

It’s perversion and self indulgence. I cannot understand why people, let alone women, accept it. The porn industry co-opting liberal feminism is the greatest trick of this century
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/10/20 05:18 PM
58

The next thing to do is absolutely nothing. Stop checking in with him and do the absolute bare minimum. If he really wants to see you he’ll take care of everything. Otherwise he really doesn’t care about you. To answer your question, do both! Cut him off without another word AND give him a day or two to see if he makes any VERY impressive efforts to get in your good graces again. He probably won’t, though. Then block.
/r/askFDS24/10/20 04:40 PM
2

Sorry, had no idea! I’m new!
/r/askFDS23/10/20 12:12 AM
3

Following this! Also, mods, I think this would be a great discussion post for the main FDS sub. I wonder if you could post there.
/r/askFDS22/10/20 08:08 PM
18

That’s a gut feeling. Everyone experiences anxiety differently, but when I get anxious I feel it in my heart/chest, it’s a very faced-paced, racing feeling. A gut feeling is exactly that, a slow, sinking feeling in your stomach.
/r/askFDS18/10/20 05:00 AM
18

Don’t be too hard on yourself. Honestly, that guy probably just wanted to get a rise out of you. I bet you threw him off by responding the way you did—you showed him that he doesn’t hold any power over you to ruin your day. But yeah, still report this pervert.
/r/askFDS18/10/20 12:10 AM
8

Thank you, this is a great resource!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/10/20 06:07 PM
36

There is literally nothing about him otherwise pointing to being a LVM I see this misconception a lot. Unfortunately this is not how FDS's theory of LVM/HVM works. One positive trait doesn't make a man HV. HOWEVER one negative trait DOES make a man LV. Your gut is telling you you're uncomfortable with this part of his history. That's why you're asking for advice and affirmation that your instinct is right. Honor what your gut is telling you! Personally I would drop him. It's very sad that he say…
/r/askFDS16/10/20 04:34 PM
40

Not family, (I don’t have any men in my close family circle) but my relationships with my close friends have altered. My friends from high school and I have remained sort of a group even though we don’t often see each other. One of these friends is a total NVM. I’m talking bad, he’s the biggest misogynist you’ll ever meet and he’s subtle about it. Not sure how he’s gotten away with it for so long. But thankfully my boundaries have strengthened since finding FDS and I don’t take his shit anymore …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/10/20 01:19 PM
7

To think every woman in this world is subjected to the fear of assault, rape or murder every day. Every. Single. Day. Half of the entire world’s population. It astounds me that the world isn’t in a perpetual state of outrage about this and about the countless other assaults, murders, and crimes again women every single day, but men don’t care. Men will never care. The only thing I can say is that I’m so sorry for sweet, angelic Junko, for us and for anyone born into this life of inherent subjuga…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/10/20 01:13 AM
4

Remember that women sometimes think they are being "rude" when really they are just being perfectly neutral-polite. Don't be afraid to be a little rude to set boundaries. He's being WAY ruder than you could ever be so I doubt you'll face repercussion, but of course you know the context of the situation better than I do. Of course if there's nothing more you can personally do about this problem, I agree with the other user's comment to make a report to whatever superior or HR department you have.
/r/askFDS15/10/20 03:21 PM
55

Don’t interact with Bob here on out or any man at that gym Report him to management for harassment
/r/askFDS15/10/20 03:12 AM
13

Refresh ya damn self. I want that on a t-shirt 😂😂😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/10/20 12:38 PM
62

That’s a red flag to me. A straight man doesn’t have THAT many women in his life without some of those relationships being sexual. Most of them probably are.
/r/askFDS13/10/20 03:23 AM
41

I actually don’t mind the memes as much, most of them are pretty funny. So maybe my last sentence is not as cut and dry. But the ratio is a good question and I’m not sure. I like the light-hearted posts as long as they’re anchored with a few good discussions a day.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/10/20 02:08 AM
138

I love seeing thoughtful, well-written posts about red flags, philosophy and just general strategy. I also enjoy sharing articles and reading discussion posts. I agree that the screenshots of conversations are a little tiring, and generally so are posts that give too much attention to LVM. Bottom line, if it doesn’t help me to learn or level up I’m not interested.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/10/20 01:49 AM
17

When my friend and I took a trip to the other side of the world, we were able to book restaurants in advance with yelp and the internet. This was a foreign city in a foreign country, so I think he can manage to pick a nice London restaurant from Leicester. Don’t suggest anything or help him at all. You are totally correct in not wanting to plan any part of the date!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/10/20 02:20 PM
17

There’s more projection going on here than there is at a movie theater. What a sad, pathetic life.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/10/20 04:29 AM
9

This was a really satisfying way to start my morning. I’m sorry you had to deal with him but I’m so happy for you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/10/20 01:02 PM
188

She thinks this is a waaaaay better burn than it actually is. LOL.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/10/20 06:19 PM
8

I go back and forth between two, one doctor is a man. He was my mother’s OB-GYN and was there when I was born. He doesn’t have the best bedside manner, but I trust him and feel comfortable with him. However, at the end of the day I prefer my other doctor, who is a woman. I wouldn’t go to any other male gynecologist without knowing and trusting him, but I would be comfortable going to a woman gynecologist that I didn’t know.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/10/20 08:55 PM
3

I think astrology has taken on a “feminine” quality in our culture, and men with fragile egos hate anything and everything that is feminine. That’s why some women who don’t enjoy astrology don’t make a huge deal out of it, but fragile men need to make sure EVERYONE KNOWS they think it’s dumb. God forbid anyone thinks they’re feminine.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/09/20 03:20 PM
30

There are so many instances of pick-me behavior in New Girl, it was always one of my favorite shows (still is) but since finding FDS I often cringe on rewatches. It's not every episode, but once in a while they resort to really low value jokes about Jess and Nick. I heard the show was called "Chicks and Dicks" in pre production, I think that says a lot.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/09/20 06:27 PM
3

I’m so sorry to hear you have to celebrate by yourself this year. I am also no contact with a family member and even though I still have other family to spend the holidays with, I can sympathize with your pain. This doesn’t apply for any birthdays but does for the winter holidays: you might really enjoy doing some charity work this year. There are lots of things you can get involved with, maybe look for church events, toy drives, or some sort of food drive/holiday dinner charity event. Even with…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/09/20 03:07 PM
11

Unfortunately we are going back as early as the 1840s here. I understand what you are expressing but intersectionality by definition could not exist in a pre-Civil War America. Most abolitionists were more concerned with securing basic human rights for black Americans. Suffrage had to come second. It's an ugly, disgusting truth of American history, but that's just how it happened. It's not that intersectional ideology didn't exist in the mid 19th century, but it was harder for people to imagine …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/09/20 08:14 PM
17

Yes!! A few years ago, my friend and I traveled abroad and my aunt was generous enough to host us during our trip. We mostly did our own thing but once in a while she would offer us coffee, tea, ask us if she could drive us into town, etc. My friend denied her offers every single time. Knowing my family and knowing they genuinely wanted to be hospitable, I had to explain to her why that was more insulting than just graciously accepting. I never knew this was a studied phenomenon, thank you for s…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/09/20 06:44 PM
20

Thank you for sharing this! This reminds me of why I hate the phrase, "it takes two people to ruin a relationship", too. It's only ever used against women, usually for two reasons: 1) a man cheats and wants to make it seem like he had "no other choice" or was somehow "driven to it" by his partner 2) when a woman stands up for herself in an abusive relationship I find that the "it takes two" and "relationships take work" adages are just very subtle ways of reversing victim and offender. Whereas t…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/09/20 03:06 PM
1

Perfectly worded
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/09/20 05:53 PM
4

Olena Beley! Her content is mostly skincare related, but she also talks about spirituality/alignment and leveling up. She’s awesome.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/09/20 02:17 PM
7

The feminine is the manifestation of the divine on Earth. If you’re religious and believe God is the creator, it follows that women are truly created in the image of God. Because we create life. That’s why men hate the feminine and hate when women express their femininity from a place of power. Because no matter how hard they try, they will never reach that level of grace. But that’s the same reason why I feel so blessed to be born a woman and feel at home in a feminine body.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/09/20 05:00 AM
13

I totally agree. It’s only crappy because we have to live and reproduce with men who don’t respect the sheer divinity of bringing life into the world. Even if I don’t end up having children, it’s freaking amazing that I could if I wanted to.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/09/20 04:54 AM
3

This idiot is comparing sexual assault with splitting assets in a divorce. 🙄
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/09/20 11:51 PM
3

The term “Divorce rape” should make me angrier....but it’s so moronic I can’t even care enough to get angry.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/09/20 08:38 PM
93

God every time I see these things I just get so sad. She's internalized this subjugation to the extent that she thinks it's normal enough to make jokes about.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/09/20 05:59 PM
36

Haha. They would LOVE the attention.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/09/20 01:09 PM
2

Realizing the error in your ways and deciding you want to be a HVW is half of the battle. You still need to put the work in, but you're almost there. The FDS Handbook will be your biggest asset.
/r/askFDS17/09/20 02:55 PM
8

Nope..good for you!! Keep that door shut and locked. You made the right choice
/r/askFDS17/09/20 12:54 PM
14

Going through this right now with a friend (or maybe I should say "friend") and I needed to hear this truth. Thank you!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/09/20 06:22 PM
1

Interested!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/09/20 03:24 AM
24

I’ll bet you $20 he’s already old and wrinkly
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/09/20 06:26 PM
4

My father WORD FOR WORD says the same thing!! After my mom found out he was cheating on her with escorts and had a secret girlfriend, she filed for divorce. He blames her for all of his destructive decisions, because “SHE destroyed the family” and “pushed him away” when she stopped wanting sex with him. Like.........huh???? The internalized guilt is so real I don’t understand how their brains could make that make sense. Icing on the cake is that other men always validate for them that “it’s the …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/09/20 01:50 PM
30

This is amazing! LVM fathers will ALWAYS blame the mother if they have poor relationships with their children as a coping mechanism for their own guilt. The irony is it will only push your children further away from him, because he’s implying they can’t think for themselves. Good for you for staying strong; your silence will distress him like nothing else could.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/09/20 11:38 PM
7

It was horrible every time. I count my blessings that I never got attached.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/09/20 11:22 PM
13

I love reading things like this here. Thank you for the encouragement!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/09/20 11:17 PM
2

Wow, I hope she doesn't resent them or even herself when she gets older and gains a little more perspective... that's so tough. I hope it's not too hard on you, either. But it's a good example of intention vs. impact in parenting too. Before I got to this point, I thought I was demi-sexual or something was wrong with my sex drive because I didn't want to have sex with strangers. Now I realize how toxic that is. I know sexual identity is a very private, personal decision for people and I don't me…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/09/20 05:54 PM
3

Poor Anne Boleyn. She was a talented, educated and selfless woman who was slandered and smeared in her lifetime to the point of her death and unfortunately she's still slandered and smeared in fictionalized versions of her life. On another note, I'm campaigning for a "Scrotes of Antiquity" tag... that is amazing
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/09/20 05:38 PM
3

I totally agree. While parenting you need to balance risk vs. reward...sometimes that means being a hard-ass. I grew up in a liberal, sex-positive environment, and luckily I naturally found abstinence on my own, with no pressure from parents or authority figures. I have found deep, deep self-respect and personal fulfillment from it. If I have children, I will raise them with those values. They won't get sex-positive messaging from me, but that doesn't mean I'm going to be sex-negative either. I …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/09/20 05:07 PM
38

Unfortunately some gay men can be the worst misogynists around and think they are "die-hard feminists" too, so no wonder.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/09/20 02:46 PM
34

It bothers me if people curse right off the bat while getting to know me. I find it disrespectful. I don’t curse in front of people I don’t know well because I don’t know what they’re comfortable with. However, I don’t mind cursing with people I know well, so it’s not the language that bothers me, but the context in which it’s used.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/09/20 03:40 AM
2

Yes all the time!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/09/20 06:51 PM
13

Thank 👏you👏 I’m so sick of this narrative forced on us that something is “hormonally” wrong with women. (I know that there are some who truly suffer from things like PCOS and other health issues so please don’t come for me) But for the most part, all of this shit sold help us “detox” and “balance our hormones” for beauty, clear skin, weight loss, etc. feels very similar to 19th century doctors theorizing that women are prone to bouts of uncontrollable hysteria just by virtue of having a uterus. …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/09/20 06:41 PM
18

Exactly. Projection 100%
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/09/20 07:47 PM
2

Where is this man's brain?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/09/20 05:25 PM
5

Yes! Love this list! You said you grew up in a non-feminist household, but what's ironic is many "feminists" (aka cool girls) would be quick to perpetuate some of these same myths, especially: I'm not a bitch, I just have boundaries. My standards are not too high. I'm not a loser or lack romantic experience because I haven't gone on a lot of dates. It's perfectly fine to ignore and block men I don't want to talk to. Men are not supposed to cheat. Porn is disgusting and abnormal. Pickmes aren't c…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/09/20 05:22 PM
7

I'm really upset we have to do Shang dirty like this...but damn what a dick!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/09/20 02:36 PM
2

Yep. I'm going through a similar thing. I have a very feminine gay friend who likes to tell women in his life how to be "empowered" and tells me I'm being a "bad feminist" if I don't subscribe to his idea of "sexual liberation"....bye bye, honey. When you start vetting, the trash takes itself out in every corner of your life.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/09/20 08:28 PM
6

Take up knitting/embroidery or some other mindless activity you can do with your hands as a substitute. Most of my social media use comes from being bored but wanting to do something low on the critical-thinking scale. Ever since I started embroidering, I don't pick up my phone as much and I can sit there for hours.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/09/20 07:54 PM
71

I'm so so sorry. You're in good company here because many women feel exactly the same way. That means you've also found the right place to heal and rebuild your self-esteem. One FDS guideline teaches to keep your romantic history and personal trauma private. You are under no obligation to discuss the mistakes you've made and can start fresh. But you still need to work on your mindset and behavior, so start with reading the handbook and FDS reading material! Good luck Queen.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/09/20 03:38 PM
15

...And folks, that's all for this edition of "Why Hasn't This Man Been Touched in Years?".
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/09/20 05:22 PM
100

LVM Translation: I see myself in this man’s fucked up behavior so I need to justify to the heavens why it isn’t fucked up hahahahaha I’m a Nice Guy™️ I promise
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/09/20 03:27 AM
14

I had a friend in college who told me in confidence one night she regretted every guy she casually slept with (all LVM of course) and she wished she could take them all back. I’ll never forget that. So I don’t know how other people feel, but for me I’ve never felt like I’m missing out on casual sex because that self-loathing like my friend displayed is just too much of a risk. My vibrator always does the job and does it better 💁‍♀️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/08/20 06:32 PM
12

Girl this really made me laugh 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/08/20 04:18 AM
19

My friend has a full-ass career in TV journalism, and she makes jokes that aren’t really jokes about making one of these accounts for the extra money. Which she doesn’t even need. I can’t fathom what goes through her mind.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/08/20 04:09 AM
80

“Never told me why”... but proceeds to tell everyone exactly why in the very same breath 😂 Do these narc men actually think they’ve got everyone fooled?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/08/20 01:46 AM
5

Because you should only accept invitations from guys who show you green flags, pay for the date, and wine and dine you. Just because there’s no chemistry doesn’t mean you can’t enjoy your night.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/08/20 05:08 AM
7

It sounds like you should take a break from dating for a little bit! Dating should be fun, even if the guys are duds.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/08/20 03:36 AM
110

Aww he really tried to pretend like his ego was still intact after that!! 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/08/20 03:34 AM
2

Sis just genuinely curious! You said it’s odd for a site that revolves around a feminist ideal to focus on marriage and getting a bf.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/08/20 06:42 AM
2

Why do you believe feminism and marriage are mutually exclusive?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/08/20 05:47 AM
16

I don't know, you must not be shopping in the right places. You can definitely find flattering, sexy and mature clothes at regular stores. I always go for wrap tops & dresses. Usually you can adjust/pin how much skin you want to show at the neckline and most are form fitting on the top and looser under the bust line, so very flattering and very versatile.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/08/20 05:16 PM
11

Wow. Can you say projection much? "You're just a tiny girl creature (????) sifting through the dark, cruel city streets in the thick of your 20s. And you're making mistakes left and right and your style is all over the place and you pretty much repel the general population because your energy is this bizarre manic cross between overly confident and wildly insecure." I'm 24 with my own career, car, 1b apartment. No insecurity here. Speak for yourself sweetie.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/08/20 03:36 PM
5

Yes—thanks for the distinction. A HVM will probably possess carpentry skills, but carpentry skills alone does not a HVM make.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/08/20 05:11 AM
53

My theory is that the average man no longer needs to do any manual labor while women are still expected to do domestic labor. Men have become spoiled, and everything else that comes along with modern times—porn, social media, performative culture—means that some men take the easy road and become LV. This is all anecdotal, but every HVM I know in my life is either a carpenter or knows how to build things/fix things and is always willing to help the women in his life.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/08/20 04:35 PM
12

Wow. So much internalized guilt and self-hatred. That’s where the blaming comes from, my mom dealt with a similar thing. My NVM father constantly makes excuses, blames my mom for “poisoning” my siblings and I, or talks about “how fair he was”. It’s painfully obvious to anyone with half a brain that he’s desperate for someone to validate him and make his widdle conscience feel better.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/08/20 04:29 PM
22

So delusional. Do men think they’re proving their righteousness with memes like this? If a man shares this, it’s immediately obvious to everyone that HE is the deadbeat father and husband. He played himself.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/08/20 04:22 PM
8

HAHA a pickmeisha gets her wings!! But seriously, this is key. Hoping for abundance isn’t enough, you have to change your thought patterns and core beliefs. If you operate with a scarcity mindset, you’re going to find scarcity. Spot on.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/08/20 06:42 PM
83

I love this so much. I’m descended from Russian Jews and Irish Catholics. My grandparents and great grandparents sacrificed their own livelihoods and futures to immigrate to the US and I pray everyday that my independence and abundance is proof that their journeys to this country weren’t in vain. I want to add that not every woman faced doom and gloom her whole life, and it’s important to celebrate & honor the joys along with the hardships. Women who took care of domestic labor were usually marr…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/08/20 03:51 AM
5

Of course! Equality is about making everything equal. Equal pay, equal rights, equal opportunities. Equity is about making things fair. For example, even if a man and a woman make the same yearly salary, and have equal expenses for rent, groceries, utilities, etc., women still need to spend more of that money on pads, tampons and pain relievers. This isn't a matter of "deciding" to spend more money, but rather by virtue of being born with a uterus. This is a basic example for a very complex and …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/08/20 08:56 PM
14

I find that men who actually respect women and support gender EQUITY (not equality, the distinction is important) don't go around broadcasting it. But LVM who use the term don't give a shit about feminism and just use it to trick higher quality women into sleeping with them, or they use "equality" to justify not having to put any effort into courting a woman. Men also think feminism = libfem feminism, which of course is just another arm of the patriarchy cloaked under "sexual empowerment". Conve…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/08/20 08:05 PM
40

I probably did...tbh this was from a while ago and I can’t remember now. But the fact I can’t keep track of how many accounts I report is an issue in and of itself 🙄
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/08/20 04:20 PM
10

I totally agree! I was using it for a while but I’ve deleted and probably won’t use it again unless I’m older and still looking for a partner. I’m not in a rush so I don’t care to literally “put myself on the market” like that. I’m in my early 20’s, and I realized that I don’t want to be in a partnership with someone I met online. Not that there is anything wrong with that, but just my personal feelings. I’m a young attractive person and if I am going to find someone my age that is high value, I…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/08/20 08:09 PM
14

Everything here is spot on! I want to offer another definition of what a HVW is, formed by FDS philosophy but also my personal take. Women are INHERENTLY valuable. Men know this. Men know they need to put in the work, externally and internally, and earn us. HVM accept this and they are secure in their masculinity because of it. But some LVM try to trick women into thinking otherwise, and that's why FDS has to make the distinction between high value and low value. Women who are tricked into that …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/08/20 07:17 PM
33

Ding Ding Ding. My father, among other disgusting behaviors, exposed himself to me as a child on multiple occasions. Yet he doesn't understand why I've been so "cruel" to him by cutting him out of my life. I swear to god some men just want children as props so they can use them to stroke their egos about being a "great father" and are surprised when those children grow up to be real human beings.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/08/20 04:02 PM
10

Hi! Welcome! I’m an educator and I’m really glad to see you are setting standards and planning for your future. As long as you’re here at FDS and reading the handbook, you’re on the right track. Firstly a very practical piece of advice; NEVER chase boys!! Boys like to play it cool, but remember they are all desperate for girls’ attention. Don’t let them trick you lol. Letting boys come to you will save you all the heartache and embarrassment I experienced at your age. Never feel like you NEED to…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/08/20 02:01 AM
46

I’ll never forget when my NVM father began describing to me, a 15 year old girl, why Gwyneth Paltrow was his perfect woman with my poor mother just upstairs. Yet he “doesn’t understand” what was so bad about the way he treated us and STILL gaslights my mother via email about how “greedy” she is when she asks for her month-late alimony and child support for my sister.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/07/20 03:54 AM
9

There's a lot going on here. It sounds to me like your gut is telling you he was being forward and rude but you're trying to be nice and give him the benefit of the doubt. Never give a man the benefit of the doubt because he KNOWS what he's doing. He knows, sis! Your gut is right. If a part of you feels offended, you are offended! Don't make excuses for him. You are in a professional setting, being paid to be there and to do a job, not be to complimented and "picked up". I think it's inappropria…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/07/20 06:06 PM
19

Maybe pull back but don't block and delete. See how he reacts. Will he use that info you shared against you? Will he continue to prove himself to you? Will he try to love bomb you? Will he respect your new, stricter boundaries about emotional and physical distance? I think you made a mistake but you didn't fuck it up beyond repair. Just do a boundary reset and as someone else said, vet RUTHLESSLY for red flags going forward.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/07/20 05:39 PM
28

To all these delusional men... if a woman WANTED to be a gold digger, she’d be long married to a millionaire before even GLANCING in your direction 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/07/20 09:00 PM
14

Just stop thinking about it. I know, I know, but genuinely retrain your brain. If the thought “I want a significant other in my life” pops into your head, immediately create a thought that says “no, that’s not true, I’m perfectly fulfilled as is” or “nope, a man doesn’t complete me.” Be consistent with it and your thought patterns will change.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/07/20 06:15 AM
11

Exactly. A HVM wouldn’t ask first, he would present his intentions and ask you on a real date without being afraid of rejection. OP, if he’s being indirect (that alone is a red flag) and asking you that question I agree that he’s going to mirror whatever answer you give. Even if his intentions aren’t necessarily to manipulate you, you probably don’t want a man like that.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/07/20 05:48 AM
9

You said it yourself, you crave connection. But that doesn’t necessarily mean with a boy! Most boys your age are not mature enough to give you the connection and compatibility you crave, and will not meet your expectations. That being said, think about how you can grow and mature as a person too, without defining yourself and your fulfillment based on a boy (or lack of a boy) in your life. My advice is to first of all, seek therapy. Not because something is wrong with you but because you sound l…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/07/20 05:11 AM
6

I mean, two of my best friends in the world are men, but they’re gay men. Both have predominately masculine energies too. So there’s nothing inherently incompatible for a platonic friendship with men in general, but the issue is when it’s a straight man who can’t keep it in his pants. Here at FDS we believe there are HVM in the world, and theoretically a HVM should be able to have platonic, emotionally fulfilling friendships with all types of people, both men and women. So my opinion is yes, it’…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/07/20 03:12 AM
3

Yep! Exactly the same over here! It’s a way of deflecting because if he were to accept he is responsible for your pain, deeeeeeep deeeeep down somewhere in the abyss he knows the intensity of his guilt would crush him. So instead he pretends he is the poor widdle victim.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/07/20 01:39 AM
10

My father is a NVM with such a deranged madonna/wh@re complex and porn addiction that when I started to grow up, his mind imploded because I wasn’t his mother nor a woman he could fuck! So he decided to neglect, gaslight and emotionally abuse me, essentially treating me the way he treated my poor mother because his scrote brain couldn’t emotionally process having a daughter. Having a NVM/LVM father hurts in a different and especially horrendous way. My mother, sister and I are all free of him no…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/07/20 01:30 AM
22

My best friend's NVM ex manipulated her into a post-breakup friendship the same way, claiming he was lonely and needed someone to talk to. Guess how that ended up? She had to take out a restraining order after he harassed her and threatened violence against her, her friends and her family. Be careful ladies.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/07/20 04:04 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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