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antenonjohs Archive

View 2 posts and 125 comments by antenonjohs on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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5

Probably but would put less of a priority on it in this hypothetical. Having a family is important to me.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/08/26 11:35 PM
1

Yeah do you hold women to that standard… like do they need to want to befriend men outside of just trying to date?
/r/PurplePillDebate02/08/26 01:25 AM
1

Some guys are bad friends and a lot of those guys can’t find love and are bad lovers. Some guys are interested in being friends with women and are good at it.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/08/26 09:45 PM
14

Don’t forget that despite him being so bad and beneath her she’s still choosing to hang out with him.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/08/26 08:46 PM
22

You’d need to elaborate on his behavior because there aren’t any specifics that are problematic. Also what’s problematic is acting like this one guy is representative of all. And if you’re in this boring city with no friends and hanging out with a guy you kind of dislike then I suspect you don’t have as much going for you as you think you do.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/08/26 08:42 PM
6

Not who you responded to. Friendzone just means we have enough shared interests or enough compatibility conversationally to get along. That’s a lot of women. Relationship means physical attraction, lifestyle compatibility, and her having physical attraction to me + lifestyle compatibility with me and her being romantically attracted to me. That’s not a lot of women.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/07/26 05:40 PM
6

It’s a lot worse than cope. OP is (likely unintentionally) advocating for men who don’t see women as human beings to go out and try to befriend them in order to use them as passageways to eventually go date other women. That’s awful and makes it seem like OP doesn’t actually see women as human beings.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/07/26 04:09 PM
10

I think it helps, but not as much as you’re saying it does. Here are my contentions. First, women aren’t always going to tell you exactly how you think unless you’re extremely close to them. Like plenty of women will downplay the importance of looks/charisma. And this goes both ways, there are viewpoints I have regarding relationships that I don’t share with many women. Second, as someone who is friends with a lot of women, hasn’t been in a relationship for 5 years with fairly solid stats on pap…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/07/26 04:06 PM
15

I don’t think it’s accurate that most guy’s social lives are fulfilled outside romance. But if you work a semi normal job, don’t have kids, and live in any significant city you can get a fairly robust social life by putting moderate effort in. I wouldn’t say dating is the same.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/07/26 02:11 PM
1

You eliminate many, but not all turnoffs with those things. Obviously doing all that doesn’t guarantee a relationship, I would know. But if you’re constantly getting fed with advice to do the basics you might think it’s a meritocracy, which is my point. OP is even telling me that if great men aren’t getting dates, something is wrong. So it’s definitely sold as a meritocracy. But I realize it’s not a meritocracy in practice.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/07/26 09:26 PM
11

I would agree. Doesn’t change the points I’m making.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/07/26 05:56 PM
3

I agree. I’m not saying that advice is wrong, I’m saying if you take that advice seriously it would follow that dating is a meritocracy.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/07/26 05:55 PM
9

You’re the one who said it wasn’t a meritocracy in your post, but then what you describe to me in our discussion is a meritocracy. I don’t really believe it’s a meritocracy.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/07/26 05:53 PM
3

I agree with your observation. It doesn’t change the point I’m making.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/07/26 05:51 PM
7

Luckily I don’t believe men are the only ones involved with sparks. I can look at actual studies on dating and romance to discover that there’s some disconnect in what women say they’re attracted to and what they actually are attracted to. Actions I’ve taken- befriend a lot of people, cast a wide net of friends in college and postcollege life. Enjoy hanging out with my friends and put effort into said friendships. Lift weights. Keep weight in check. Active lifestyle and high amount of exercise. …
/r/PurplePillDebate22/07/26 04:29 PM
8

I don’t even know what exactly is considered the manosphere and what they believe. I think women are awesome, I’m attracted to them, I want to be in a romantic relationship and feel I could be a worthy partner in an incredible relationship. I do a lot for that, even if I probably don’t know who my future person is yet. I do think first impressions and sparks are largely about how skilled a guy is in creating said sparks. I do think there’s some disconnect in what women say they’re attracted to a…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/07/26 04:11 PM
11

Hahaha… that hasn’t worked. I don’t take much of it seriously at all. There was a time in my life where I figured if I had friends, hobbies, enjoyed college (treasurer of two different orgs), and enjoyed my life, then dating would take care of itself. That’s proven to be totally wrong in my case, so I’m looking for other answers. Because frankly, I don’t yet know what type of woman I want to marry yet, and there’s value to me in figuring it out sooner rather than later.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/07/26 03:59 PM
12

I’m not arguing that at all. You’ve said “if they are great and can’t get dates then something IS wrong”. My position is that if that someone “great” without something “wrong” is always getting dates, then it is a meritocracy.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/07/26 03:56 PM
8

OK, I’ll shoot. I’m 23, haven’t been in a relationship since I was 18, I have a lot of friends, both men and women. 6’, 170ish, not muscular but good cardio shape. Lots of hobbies, make like $115K. I volunteer, I’m vegan and vote blue everywhere. What actions should I be taking to improve my dating life?
/r/PurplePillDebate22/07/26 03:54 PM
19

Yeah I mean it would technically be lack of action in the right way in most cases. But I think we’re underestimating how much of “their own issues” is just them not making a strong romantic first impression on women. Like a LOT of men would have their dating life fixed if they woke up tomorrow with the charisma of Bill Clinton.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/07/26 03:48 PM
10

I mean sure… but plenty of otherwise reasonable people believe this because most of the generic advice is about that, not how to generate sparks in the first 30 seconds of a conversation. OK, sure, nothing wrong with them. But if they’re great, can’t get dates, then something IS wrong, and if fixed they get pussy. Sounds like a meritocracy to me.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/07/26 03:46 PM
35

Yeah that would apply to some men. But I also know men who have healthy views towards women that are past 25 and have never been in a relationship. They have friends, they just don’t have much “game” with women, maybe you would blame that on a lack of developing “game”, but that’s not necessarily something many women advocate for.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/07/26 03:43 PM
24

Yeah they’re not bad things, but if that’s the dating advice you typically get, then it’s easy enough to think it’s a meritocracy. Not that rare, I know plenty of guys that fit that well. And by saying that there’s still something “wrong” with them it seems you’re feeding into the meritocracy narrative that you’re arguing against.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/07/26 03:29 PM
72

I somewhat agree, but I also think a lot of women unintentionally lead men towards thinking that attraction is a meritocracy, as well. Women want to advise men to be a good person, be themselves, have their hobbies, practice basic hygiene, have female friends. The just world fallacy is pervasive all over the place with dating… people don’t want to admit that a guy can be single for a long time with hobbies, friends, fitness, hygiene, and generally good character.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/07/26 03:17 PM
1

It is, unfortunately
/r/PurplePillDebate15/07/26 01:45 AM
1

I’d say I fit that, don’t have much anxiety, never been depressed
/r/PurplePillDebate14/07/26 11:39 PM
2

What was the other stuff you were focusing on?
/r/PurplePillDebate14/07/26 10:00 PM
3

That works too! It’s not an either or deal to me. Like I suppose there’s a line between personal enjoyment of activity and people there where I decide whether or not to go/try. Basket weaving with a bunch of vegan women my age that I’m attracted to? Sign me up! Golfing and getting paired with a random group? Sure! I like golf so that works. Basket weaving with retirees? No thanks!
/r/PurplePillDebate14/07/26 09:44 PM
3

If I show up to a run club and make it clear I wouldn’t be there if women weren’t there it wouldn’t go too well for me. So that aspect has to be concealed. Or the alternative is doing something else, in which case I wouldn’t meet those women. That’s the problem. I’m not sure if hiding the intention equates to being manipulative in dishonest.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/07/26 09:36 PM
4

One of my best friends is a woman and I text them every day. One I text multiple times a week. Then 3 or 4 more that I’m pretty close with too.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/07/26 09:34 PM
8

Why are we characterizing men trying to date women as “preying” on them?
/r/PurplePillDebate14/07/26 09:20 PM
5

Read my post. “So he has to go, talk to some women, and not let on the underlying reason he showed up… it’s a far more effective strategy for dating than just doing what makes him happy on his own.” Yes you need to find activities that put you close to women that you’re a good fit with… regardless of whether you actually like the activity you’re doing. My point here is that this advice gets too much criticism.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/07/26 09:20 PM
6

Pointing out that we need to be more practical in the advice we give and not pretend like we’re in a fictitious world where the best thing for men who are struggling to date is just to live their own lives. Also stop criticizing men who show up to hobby events to try to date, unless the men are actually making the women at some events uncomfortable.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/07/26 09:14 PM
4

I agree… but I’m getting downvoted for saying I can volunteer without caring about the volunteering and can put on a front. And people acting like it’s super transparent.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/07/26 09:12 PM
4

Yeah that’s why I ignore the advice about not going out of your way at all to date and think it’s terrible advice and is contributing to the male loneliness epidemic.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/07/26 09:11 PM
2

No I’m not saying that, I do what I want to do. If you read my comments I talk about going to hobby clubs to look for dates and I’m going to continue to do that at times. My point is that doing so gets too much criticism online, as detailed by a lot of the responses here. Look at people acting like it’s obvious and a massive turnoff whenever a guy that wants a date shows up.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/07/26 08:48 PM
4

I agree with that… I’m saying doing that gets criticized, and a lot of advice leads you astray from there. Not sure where I’m being black and white. Did you mean to reply to me?
/r/PurplePillDebate14/07/26 08:27 PM
5

This isn’t how the world works, at least in my experience. If you have at least some tact and aren’t only talking to women you’re generally going to be fine.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/07/26 08:25 PM
7

Yeah you need some level of social skills to make it worthwhile. Just because you don’t have women in your life doesn’t automatically mean lack of social skills, though.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/07/26 08:23 PM
2

Yeah but obviously you can go to activities to try to get dates without hitting on a bunch of women. I acknowledge that in a lot of environments you don’t want to show your intentions behind being there right away.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/07/26 08:18 PM
3

“You know who is obnoxious and I generally avoid and recommend other women avoid: Men who come to hobbies and activities to date. It's super obvious, very difficult to hide, and egregious. It is not bad advice to say live your life unless the way you live your life does not include the opportunity to meet people of the opposite gender. But the next step is not to just join hobbies with girls.” That’s a quote from a woman in this thread.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/07/26 08:07 PM
10

The comments section here would prove your first sentence wrong.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/07/26 07:58 PM
3

I guess I could have put it in the post… I’m looking at what you do if you’re someone who’s out of school and doesn’t have close friendships with women in their current city. If you meet your partner in high school or college doing what you love you’re not doing to be looking for dating advice most likely.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/07/26 07:34 PM
3

Cool, you’re not the target audience of the post. Not everyone meets women they have a lot in common with and are good fits for by just having fun and living life.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/07/26 07:17 PM
6

Finding dates as a primary objective for some portion of your free time— yes, that makes sense for people IF the rest of your life doesn’t lend itself to meeting women you fit well with. Not saying you should spend the entirety of your free time on it or anything like that. Intentions can be hidden to some extent… it depends on the activity/context.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/07/26 07:16 PM
13

I like pickleball and running, but I wouldn’t go to a run club of only men. I would volunteer if I thought the group would be good for me, I’ve tried dancing and would try it again.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/07/26 07:13 PM
6

I go to run clubs and see guys that spend most of the social time talking to women… the women are smiling and laughing and usually engaging in the conversation… but you’re right… deep down these women just think a man approaching them at a run club is behaving egregiously.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/07/26 07:11 PM
3

I’m not letting internet discourse stop me from doing things either. But I recognize that it’s hurting society and that it matters.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/07/26 07:05 PM
17

I think women are awesome and I admire them, I think having a family someday with the right woman would be incredibly fulfilling. I also feel like I bring a lot to the table and could be a good partner in an incredible relationship.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/07/26 07:04 PM
13

It’s probably not even 80-90% of men… but it’s a good chunk of men who are out of school and don’t have close female friends in the same city.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/07/26 07:03 PM
6

Strawman. I never advocated for hyper focusing on finding dates as a primary objective. Nor do I do that.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/07/26 07:01 PM
3

This is not true and is exactly what I’m pointing out. I don’t give a shit about volunteering at a dog shelter, for example, I’d rather donate money and work extra at my job instead of doing that. I also don’t really care to learn salsa dancing. But does that mean that I wouldn’t be able to put on a solid front for an hour or so and socialize with the crowd there? No. Not everyone is a mind reader.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/07/26 06:59 PM
2

I agree that the best chance isn’t to be desperate. My point is that it shouldn’t be shameful to take an active approach to trying to get dates, yet the internet often shames men for doing so. You’re arguing for a pretty intentional approach to dating… it takes a conscious effort to actively do things with friends that involve meeting new people. So we actually probably have similar viewpoints on the issue.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/07/26 06:56 PM
5

It’s not hearing what I want… it’s seeing dating advice about going and just living your life. Not that it guarantees success, but it’s implied that’s better than doing anything else.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/07/26 06:52 PM
6

Some people that give advice cut it off at saying a guy should just join whatever hobby meetups he enjoys, not because he thinks it’ll be a good chance to meet women.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/07/26 06:51 PM
24

I mean there’s nuance to it. I started playing pickleball to try to meet women. I go to run clubs to try to meet women, I wouldn’t go to a run club of all men. But that doesn’t mean all I do at the event is hit on women, because I recognize that I need to look like I’m just “naturally” there in order to have success.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/07/26 06:50 PM
11

The issue is just that bad advice gets parroted, and people who don’t know better can easily be misled because they might genuinely believe the advice that’s parroted
/r/PurplePillDebate14/07/26 06:49 PM
4

And the whole post is a compliant about an issue OP doesn’t even have. Like boo-hoo, you can’t just easily pick up attractive women in a new city. Next you’re going to tell me it’s a shame I can’t retire comfortably at 40 unless I put effort into my career.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/07/26 03:56 PM
6

And most of those men aren’t looking to add to their circle, which further narrows things
/r/PurplePillDebate05/07/26 03:48 PM
6

I wouldn’t go that far… but totally agree that it’s tricky to find people to go out with. Because most men either already have a solid dating life and don’t want to go out with you and approach women or are liabilities in that environment.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/07/26 12:23 PM
2

A lot of tone deaf men make the same claims too. Plenty of guys on the internet are either top 5% in attractiveness or naturally charismatic and figured things out for themselves and seem to like to attribute all the credit to their personality.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/06/26 05:45 PM
-1

I can read, thanks. I’m replying to a comment, not the original post. Actually bashing men as well, as they’re part of the problem.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/06/26 07:12 PM
1

And women are incentivized to act like they’re better judges of character than they actually are. Some men will blast women and react poorly if they are told that character doesn’t matter, so women like to instead pretend like good character matters when entering relationships, but it matters little unless you have bad character and no competence (inability to come across well at all).
/r/PurplePillDebate12/06/26 06:11 PM
5

So would your problem be solved if men stopped interacting with women at all and pursuing them?
/r/PurplePillDebate05/06/26 06:27 PM
9

We don’t all judge… two consenting adults can do what they want to do as long as it doesn’t harm others, some random woman having casual sex isn’t something I’m going to judge. And while I’m sorry that’s happened to you that doesn’t give you a free pass to be judgmental towards others that have done nothing to you.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/06/26 05:56 PM
8

If these average women have big families who are they having them with?? I’ll concede that the availability of sex, which is often unwanted, is a lot higher for the average woman than the average man. But the average women are having families with average men, there are too many average women for them to only be having families with the top 10% of men.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/06/26 05:54 PM
10

You can have self respect without being hyper judgmental towards the actions of others that have no bearing on your life
/r/PurplePillDebate05/06/26 05:52 PM
1

Yeah I could dress better for sure, going to start wearing a “vegan AF” hat more often in public, otherwise will mostly be showing up to stuff in a collared shirt or dress shirt with pants or decent shorts. Voted Kamala. Yeah I make friends easily but total lack of romantic first impressions. It’s a work in progress for sure. I’ve done well when I actually do get a first date, just can’t land anything before that. So going back and forth between leaning into the skills I have versus developing n…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/06/26 06:34 PM
1

That’s what I’m focused on doing now especially being in a new city. We’ll see if it works out well now. It didn’t do jack shit in college when I was in two totally different majors, in the honors college (and regularly attended social events through that), treasurer of two different orgs, frequented some other clubs, and lived on campus all 4 years (school has like 38K undergrads). So hoping the post college life is better than that.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/06/26 06:31 PM
1

In the US, vegan, have more or less the same politics as Bernie Sanders’s public positions. No idea why the first ghosted, think she wasn’t that interested in the first place, didn’t push my friend about it. The other I can’t recall the exact thing, I think I said something about how people probably treated her differently due to her having cancer and it didn’t come off well to her. Something along those lines.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/06/26 06:16 PM
1

One gave me the instagram of a woman who ghosted me after like 2 messages, don’t know why. The other I called on the phone and said something that didn’t come across to her the way I intended so she lost interest (yet I don’t think it’d have gone anywhere anyways).
/r/PurplePillDebate03/06/26 06:10 PM
1

I don’t live in the same location as them, two have tried without success, a few are friends with each other
/r/PurplePillDebate03/06/26 06:06 PM
1

They don’t have much, I guess I can go ask again… I haven’t asked in a bit
/r/PurplePillDebate03/06/26 06:04 PM
1

Yes
/r/PurplePillDebate03/06/26 06:02 PM
1

I agree being a hermit isn’t good. In my last city I was hanging out with friends 3x a week on average. My point is that picking friends based on whether they can get me dates instead of whether I just want to be their friend isn’t socially acceptable.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/06/26 05:56 PM
1

My point isn’t that it won’t work, because it’s something I’m about to try. My point is plodding along with women at a run club to try to get dates isn’t something considered socially acceptable.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/06/26 05:56 PM
0

A lot of women don’t find it acceptable for men to join hobbies with the intent to find dates.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/06/26 05:54 PM
1

I get 1 first date a year off them with on/off use and occasionally spamming after buying hinge premium.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/06/26 05:54 PM
1

My point is making friends with the intention of them having a network that leads to me getting laid is not socially acceptable. Might still be worth doing though.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/06/26 05:52 PM
0

Never heard of hiking groups frequented by women in their early 20’s. Did a run club in my last city and didn’t find a ton of opportunities to mingle, will try one in my new city. Unless I slow myself way down I’m running faster than all the casual female runners, and the faster ones tend to not be there to socialize as much.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/06/26 05:52 PM
1

I’m definitely not jacked, but am 6’ and in cardio shape. Might get professional photos once I complete a cert next year that will lead to me having more free time (since I won’t be studying at all anymore) and more pay.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/06/26 05:50 PM
0

Food, travel, hiking/nature, some social hobbies with friends (picked up pickleball semi recently, trying disc golf)
/r/PurplePillDebate03/06/26 05:48 PM
1

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
/r/PurplePillDebate03/06/26 05:47 PM
1

Long term ideally, would say some type of career/ambition, strong intelligence/wit (but open to many forms of it), height doesn’t matter, race doesn’t matter, healthy weight or slightly overweight, somewhat active (like can jog a mile), I dislike tats/piercings but can tolerate some, politically center or left. Not too religious.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/06/26 05:46 PM
1

The friends in my last city didn’t know very many women, certainly not single women. In college I was in coed friend groups but we just hung out with each other.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/06/26 05:43 PM
-2

My point isn’t that none of this stuff works, more that it’s not socially acceptable. I don’t think going out at 11:30 to a brewpub to look for dates is widely socially acceptable anymore, and I’d otherwise have little interest in doing so (and it’s something I’ve done 20 times, it’s not like it’s something I’ve never tried). Not expecting sex quickly, normally fairly selective with the apps. Getting like 1 or 2 first dates a year in the last 5 years.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/06/26 05:42 PM
0

I do, but the things I naturally like to try and the friends I’ve naturally made throughout my life haven’t led to many dates. And the number is precisely 0 after high school.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/06/26 05:37 PM
1

What’s your age/general location? And my point isn’t that men shouldn’t do any of it, but that it’s not currently socially acceptable to do that.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/06/26 05:34 PM
4

I mean it’s a pick your poison. I’ve had a lot of friends from high school, college, to my adult life now. Much of the time I’m happy with them and not going too far out of my way for more. But the men have never set me up with anyone. So instead I suppose I should be making friends with people in order for them to set me up down the line, because the friends I naturally make aren’t usually of any help for dating? Or what else would you suggest?
/r/PurplePillDebate02/06/26 04:15 PM
–

Understood.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/05/26 12:39 AM
–

I’m talking about average guys with realistic expectations.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/05/26 12:38 AM
–

I never said they have to want you back, I find it valid because there’s only so much control people have. Much like it can be valid to be unhappy about the economy.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/05/26 12:36 AM
–

What does whine mean? Sure, entitlement and making women the problem is obviously wrong, but if you’re frustrated you can’t date people you want to date that’s often very valid.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/05/26 10:57 PM
–

You think you’re a loser, I don’t think that at all. I’m simply saying that the current traits and situation you’re in as of today don’t guarantee romantic success, and I think most people would agree. If you go to the gym every other day and are 105 you’re also not putting in the right type of effort, if you put in smarter effort you may improve your situation. It also doesn’t sound like you spend much time working on social skills and talking to others/making connections. Therapy could help to…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/26 11:03 PM
–

??? Not at all what I’m saying but your attitude is also holding you back because it can most likely be sniffed out by women from a mile away
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/26 10:55 PM
–

A check of their post history shows that this is not at all the case
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/26 10:51 PM
–

Yeah but no one is saying everyone who’s 5’6 and 105 with no clue why and making 60K with no mention of friends or social skills ends up in a relationship or with a strong dating life at 26.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/26 10:48 PM
–

You start off with “money does not matter”… when you’re of average income idk how you can say that.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/26 10:36 PM
–

Also makes $60K in the US despite the post acting like he’s got money coming out of his ass
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/26 10:15 PM
–

5’6” and 105, nothing in the post about social skills at all (which matter). Also you’re at 60K in the US which is middling.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/26 10:07 PM
19

And I’m not saying this is wrong but it’s extremely skewed towards where you live, where you shop, when you do it, who happens to go out frequently themselves, who doesn’t. Like if you’re in South Beach your perception of the average guy is going to be vastly vastly different compared to some rural impoverished place.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/26 04:51 PM
11

Mutual enjoyment doesn’t mean it’s not transactional
/r/PurplePillDebate12/04/26 03:29 PM
12

All relationships are transactional in some way
/r/PurplePillDebate12/04/26 01:48 PM
11

I mean eventually maybe… I’ve had 5/5 and been single from 18 to 23. But then what do you do if you’re in the 5-10% that’s left out?
/r/PurplePillDebate08/03/26 05:59 PM
4

What is “most”?
/r/PurplePillDebate08/03/26 05:24 PM
6

Rarely, never had success with that, going to start doing that more now though, especially considering I have a lot more confidence than I used to. I snipe edited my comment, dating isn’t my #1 goal so I wouldn’t say I’ve “exhausted all options”, but I have all of the “classic advice” in my favor though.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/03/26 08:21 PM
3

Taking the classic advice to a moderate amount hasn’t really done shit on its own for me (23M). Gym- I’m 6’ 175, more cardio fit, been able to comfortably run a sub 6 mile for 8+ years. On and off lifting as well, nothing too heavy. Socialize- plenty of male and female friends, although not as many opportunities to make female friends now that I’m out of college. Groom yourself- fine with that Dress well- probably my weakest, but not anything egregious, certainly dressing up on occasion. Career-…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/03/26 08:16 PM
12

I can get behind trying new things, but at the same time if you already like your hobbies and friends it's not easy to go "hey let me go try something I wouldn't otherwise have a ton of interest in just to hope to meet some women".
/r/PurplePillDebate24/02/26 07:13 PM
32

How did he fall for “female deception”? It’s not like we have the obligation to tell our friends about our whole lifestyle. Also have no idea what you mean by being “used”. They’re just friends that aren’t interested in each other, sounds like a normal friendship to me.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/01/26 02:23 PM
4

I’m not sure adhering to traditional gender roles like that is helpful nowadays. Why isn’t your father also reassuring you? Why isn’t your mother helping you be a man? Especially in an age where, like you say, we’re all free people making choices? I think those tasks can be helped by both parents. I also don’t know why this post makes it out like the burden is on men to behave and act as men, why not talk about women in that manner as well?
/r/PurplePillDebate20/12/25 03:56 PM
9

“It’s your father’s task to make you a man and your mom’s to reassure you” is one example
/r/PurplePillDebate20/12/25 03:52 PM
6

I’d argue there’s still a lot of dissatisfaction with being single or being in a bad relationship, and this is “wrong”. Societal norms/expectations play a big role and there’s more nuance than people just being free to make their own choices regarding it. It’s also interesting to me how differently you treat men and women in the body of the post.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/12/25 03:50 PM
–

I think your use of "double standard" is too liberal... the women that are telling men to not hit on female friends usually aren't hitting on their male friends or getting into a relationship with them if their male friends ask them out. So I don't know what you mean by that phrase.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/12/25 02:05 PM
3

Well it’s kind of a ridiculous spend if you really make a bit over $60K pretax and have a luxury apartment in a HCOL unless you think something like Austin is a HCOL.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/11/25 04:58 AM
5

Well anecdotally I’m in my 20’s, make decent money for the area, hobbies, in cardio shape, 6’, funny personality, and dating apps are a dud and if I paid for them I might get one first date every two months with my “looks match”… social circle hasn’t given me anything in a long time. So at least for me it’s an issue of not getting someone that seems similar, I’m not just trying to date models.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/11/25 03:11 AM
2

I could just rephrase to “enough income to get by on his own” for whatever city. So maybe $70K in Cleveland, $120K in a VHCOL.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/11/25 03:08 AM
23

I mean if the goal is just someone with a pulse, then sure… but most men that have their shit together in other aspects of life want a woman who they feel matches what they bring to the table. A 25 year old guy that has a steady job making say $75K, lives on his own and is independent, in decent shape, and has hobbies typically wants the same out of a woman. And that’s not happening for a lot of men right now.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/11/25 03:02 AM
–

I don’t really know if I agree with that… probably a minority of married (straight) men would be “socially competent” under that definition because if their wife left them they probably wouldn’t be able to get a date in an unfavorable environment.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/11/25 02:59 PM
–

I might agree with you but it heavily depends on the definition of “ability to get a date”. Like are we looking at how someone does when they meet someone organically that has a good amount in common with them and whether they convert that into a date? Or is it about whether they can get a date from cold approaching in a lot of different environments?
/r/PurplePillDebate26/11/25 02:46 PM
6

Aren’t there other ways to determine this? Like you could ask him if he’s approached women much when you’re on like date #1. Now, I’ll concede that if your stance is “I’m not actually attracted to men unless they approach me and chase me with confidence in the early going, otherwise I don’t get attracted” then just approaching isn’t going to do you any good.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/11/25 09:55 PM
–

I completely agree. For whatever reason men that can’t get a date is always chalked up to some type of character issue, and the answer is that they need to work on themselves. Meanwhile women are largely told to sit around and wait for something good to happen to them, and they’re validated and told they’re good enough as they already are. Note that everyone will blame society and others for economical issues— like on Reddit being broke usually isn’t your fault, poor people don’t have bad charac…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/09/25 01:33 AM
19

I mean you joke but probably 10-20% of guys wouldn't mind at all if they dated someone dumb and unintelligent, some would prefer that over a woman smarter than they are.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/09/25 07:21 PM
9

So I’m assuming you could go on an app and match with very attractive women frequently?
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/25 03:12 PM
81

I always want to see pictures of people claiming to look 10+ years younger than their age… you probably don’t actually look 30
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/25 02:57 PM
5

Any actual stories of people getting a bad rep from approaching too much at college? I’m trying to get into the approaching game at my college that has about 30000 undergrads so I was hoping I wouldn’t have to worry about that with the size of the school.
/r/seduction13/08/21 10:27 PM
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