TheRedArchive

~ archived since 2018 ~

apatrol Archive

View 0 posts and 204 comments by apatrol on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
Search in:
In subreddits:
More
Filter by year/month:
Upvotes Title Category Author Subreddit Date (UTC)
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
21

First run a background check on the dude. Second contact your lawyer about prohibiting men or women on your side from sleeping in the same room and language around prohibiting people with DV, SA, Agg Assault, and other violent crimes from being around the child. The crying is very weird if it's new and all of a sudden. It's Def a red flag.
/r/Divorce_Men11/07/26 02:18 AM
5

Aorry brother. Its hard when you still love them. Now you have a definitive answer and it was harsh. You will need to grieve the full end of the relationship. Its hard work. I would suggest a deep look at yourself and use this rebuild of yourself in a positive way. Correct any traits about yourself that you see the need for. Are yall divorced? If you are read the custody agreement very clearly. If it doesnt have any distance requirements and has mom as the primary you need a lawyer today. Like n…
/r/Divorce_Men22/06/26 04:00 PM
-2

Why did you have to block? The norm of not being friends or friendly is so foreign to me.
/r/Divorce_Men19/06/26 06:09 AM
12

She is using sex to slap you in the face. No good person does that and leaves sign unless they mean it as an insult.
/r/Divorce_Men19/06/26 04:06 AM
1

Courts dont care about who cares for the dog but who bought it. Do whatever you can to show you paid adontion fees or whatever.
/r/Divorce_Men19/06/26 02:02 AM
7

Does he want more kids if they divorce? If so then no. If he is done either way then yes. Birth control is hard for many women. Could even improve her mood to be off. (Assumimg she is). Its def a valid request.
/r/Divorce_Men16/06/26 09:52 AM
8

Divorce takes up to 2yrs for many. Start using other aids to masturbate. You need to let go of that as well. You dont miss her so much as awesome sex. Prob have fear of finding that again. You will. Just heal and take a hard look at yourself. Improve the things you did wrong in the marriage. I had 7 items that were bad habits or personality traits that I worked very hard on to repair before datimg. Give yourself grace. Be kind to yourself.
/r/Divorce_Men13/06/26 09:04 AM
3

Shouldnt get very messy. You already ship the kids off. Have the judge split holidays with them.
/r/Divorce_Men11/06/26 07:22 PM
4

You do whats best for the kids within the rules tje ex puts around her house.
/r/Divorce_Men10/06/26 09:27 AM
1

Judges have so little todo with any of it. My divorceweboth walked in said 50 50 andthe judge signed the form. Its the men and women that lie, drag out, continuously file bs, and etc.
/r/Divorce_Men01/06/26 04:39 AM
7

Damn you need years of therapy.
/r/Divorce_Men31/05/26 03:57 PM
-18

What a shit take.
/r/Divorce_Men20/05/26 12:52 PM
5

Good info. OP there may even be emergency things the lawyer can do since the child was taken out of the country. How did the baby get a passport?
/r/Divorce_Men14/05/26 08:04 AM
16

So your doing well. Get a feaking attorney. File before her. She is not wealthy bury her in legal stuff over custody. Canada does not like one parent taking a child anymore than the US. Dont be a penis or AH but make it clear you will be involved. She will be paying for flights to return the child from visits and personally bringing the child until the child is aged to be unaccompanied. Down size the house if you are not underwater and free up cash. I can gurantee she did this on purpose. I am t…
/r/Divorce_Men14/05/26 03:39 AM
4

I failed three marriages. I was a late bloomer. Married the first girl that showed interest snd she wanted financial security. This was in the 90s. We divorced when she cheated. 2nd was a nice women and we had a nice 15yr relationship. I stopped being attracted and friend zoned her. She ended up cheating but I should have been man enough to divorce her earlier. We still talk and get kunch once a year. I took a year off and went to work on myself. Fixed some things and learned to communicate. The…
/r/Divorce_Men11/03/26 09:44 AM
9

Did discovery request come through the court or sent direct on the lawyers letterhead? If court then send it to your lawyer. If letterhead simply ignore.
/r/Divorce_Men06/03/26 01:23 PM
1

Find out what the state payments would be for child support based in your income. Pay that. Keeps you from having to pay back pay when the final orders come out and fight the protective orders. In Texas you have to have real evidence to get one. I am surprised she got one based on her word only.
/r/Divorce_Men06/03/26 03:15 AM
1

Come on. Lets not preend men are much more likely to kill than women in domestic situations. Hell more likely to kill their children as a fuck you to the ex. Its not warfare. Its creating positive environments for the kids.
/r/Divorce_Men01/03/26 11:11 AM
3

Learn to lie. You need to keep the peace. It doesnt matter of its her bizz or not. Its what she perceives as a slight. Its all about the kids now. The battle for housing, money, and etc is about whats best for them.
/r/Divorce_Men01/03/26 08:53 AM
0

Texas does have alimony but its rare and capped at 20% of your income. And has to be a 10yr marriage and she cant support herself. . If your close to ten and are sire of the divorce. Get a lawyer to file asap. The date is from separation and not court order. Dont leave the home but do move bedrooms. Dont have sex with her. Once divorce starts its about the kids. Dont be all bitter like some of the dudes here. Love her as the mother of your kids but protect yourself. You need money to have fun wi…
/r/Divorce_Men28/02/26 09:50 AM
1

Thats why I keep telling the truth. This is a small subset of that vast majority thst had fair divorces. Exs that were not crazy. Let the bitter be bitter. I let go of that shit years ago. Serves no purpose, i want my kid to see love.
/r/Divorce_Men27/02/26 07:11 AM
1

Thats tragic. You simply left bigger marks. Its basically how its judged by cops unless both have real injuries to show mutual combat. It happens to men sometimes.
/r/Divorce_Men27/02/26 07:06 AM
6

Good for you. She has a recourse and thats to take it to the judge. He or she wont give a shit.
/r/Divorce_Men27/02/26 02:31 AM
-6

This is rubbish. The police dont arrest because of tears. If she is a diabolical evil person she may punch herself but thats rare. Courts work hard to have equal distribution but women usually make less and retain 5050 with the kids but as custodial parent. Generally they are the ones missing work for appts and such. The women complain about all the same stuff. The fact is divorce sucks. Many of us could have avoided it with more care and counseling. Stop the doomsday BS. Love her as the mother …
/r/Divorce_Men26/02/26 08:26 AM
2

This. Seriously though. Learn to love her as a good mother. We all have a lifetime of showing our kids we are adults and can honor the good parts of people.
/r/Divorce_Men24/02/26 01:24 AM
8

So you cheated or something similar but you get to punish her by screwing over the kids? Thats mature.
/r/Divorce_Men22/02/26 08:32 AM
0

Dont do it. Why not wait a year or ten? Your gonna use condoms anyway. Stop telling yourself your ex is xyz. Start loving her for being your childrens mother. You WILL see her hundreds of times over the years. Your kids will 100% know if you think poorly of their mom.
/r/Divorce_Men21/02/26 03:02 AM
1

King. Pups and occasional guest. Its not like you will be single for ever and damn bedding is expensive.,
/r/Divorce_Men10/02/26 06:04 PM
7

No advice. Just a virtual hug for you brother. The kids are young. They will adjust very well. They are your priority now. Just love them and always be kind to the ex. The kids will see this and ,love you even more for being an open hearted man.
/r/Divorce_Men10/02/26 10:32 AM
3

I simply dont date people that think there phone is some huge private thing. We can fuck but not use each others phone?
/r/Divorce_Men27/01/26 02:17 AM
8

Call the police. Tell them you will be breaking the door and you have been illegally locked out. Then say hi to the kids and go sleep in the master bed. She can leave or sleep on the couch.
/r/Divorce_Men15/01/26 08:50 AM
-1

Give the dog to the ex. You obviously have checked out of life, animal empathy, child empathy, and etc.
/r/Divorce_Men12/01/26 06:25 AM
3

Dude, fuck around and find out was coined for divorces. Or should have been. She did the deed and now has to pay.
/r/Divorce_Men04/01/26 05:36 AM
9

Me and my ex share a lot of moments and enjoy it. Go, be nice and relax.
/r/Divorce_Men24/12/25 06:40 AM
9

Mine did. Both of the actually. One cheated and even 15yrs later refuses to date because she is so ashamed. I tried to release her from her guilt as I did play a role in pushing her away. We both didnt have the maturity to communicate and either work to be better or end the marriage. The second was after child loss. Finally found deep meaningful love and we both changed so much after. Just became a big depressing home. I still get teary thinking about where we would be if that hadn't happened. S…
/r/Divorce_Men17/12/25 11:53 PM
8

Did you get arrested or a ticket? Or just told you will be charged? This officer may have been lying to try to get you to confess.
/r/Divorce_Men16/12/25 11:22 AM
3

It sounds like you are getting out a bit. I would def try to add more socialization during the week. Any friends or close work buddies that live nearby? Getting out once a week for lunch would be good. Any interest in casual dating? Maybe a bit of fun between the sheets? If not dont push it. No need to rush. In fact rushing can hurt. I am sorry your having a tough time. It sounds like you were blind sided and went from happy to divorce. Kinda makes you feel a LOT of emotions. So damn hard.
/r/Divorce_Men12/12/25 09:05 AM
1

You dont have to be strangers. I have developed a nice relationship with my ex. We even enjoy time together at school functions and such. I wasnt clear from your post if you lost a child. I lost one with my ex and thats a special bond. Only people that have been through it understand. I am deeply sorry for your loss. It took me and my ex about six months to figure out how to move forward and that it could be a good deal.
/r/Divorce_Men05/12/25 09:50 AM
-10

100% you shake hands at the mall. Because at the wedding or funeral or whatever if you dont you will be the asshole that ruined the big day. You do it for the kids. Do it before something big so its less emotional at tbe key time. Always all about the kids. Just repeat that in your head over and over.
/r/Divorce_Men01/12/25 04:55 AM
1

If you think she will be violent or make false claims then go during a period you can be alone. If you think she may be suicidal notify her parents or close friends. The goal is remain as calm and kind as possible. Never ever get into physical or verbal. If she figures out your move she will provoke and record. I would have a legal meeting with a lawyer first if its truly as simple as you say the online services are pretty good according to two friends. I would leave the divorce papers on the ta…
/r/Divorce_Men22/11/25 10:07 AM
3

Over a year to look for "fun" and about 2yrs before I started to look seriously. Dating a nice girl right now.
/r/Divorce_Men20/11/25 04:13 PM
1

What ever is legally accurate but report to the court the vast change. Judges hate people reducing salary around court time
/r/Divorce_Men19/11/25 04:06 AM
8

The kids will likely not be seen post divorce unless she is a very good mom that wants the best for her kids. Then of course will be a likely fade away when she meets someone new.
/r/Divorce_Men18/11/25 11:10 PM
4

And do not sleep with her in a weak moment. Child support babies are a very real thing. Sorry brother. All of this sucks.
/r/Divorce_Men17/11/25 08:52 PM
6

Take 50/50 but make sure your attorney knows to prepare for a sneak attack. Push for joint primary or whatever your state calls it. Basically that whoever has the child that week can make full medical decisions. As well as custodial rights such as taking out of school and such. And of course some sort of order that both have to agree before child moves, must attend school(s) described in the custody order, and distance of say 25miles. The only thing I can think of is she has a new man with a che…
/r/Divorce_Men17/11/25 07:31 AM
2

You won't get ine for that. Look you need a lawyer pronto. You need a temp custody order. This sounds like its going to go south fast. Honey def gets you more when it comes to kids. You need to be able to sit down with her and work out a temp schedule. If she tells you to fuck off document that. Document everything. And do not get in fights, curse, degrade, and etc. Be an angel. She shits in your car call the police but tell her thanks for the gift. She will absolutely try to get you to react. M…
/r/Divorce_Men16/11/25 10:04 AM
3

Yep, they give alot of love. Get an adult from a shelter. Potentially less training.
/r/Divorce_Men16/11/25 04:03 AM
1

I dont care about the grammar. I am concerned this man needs counseling. All we can do OP is make changes to ourselves. Learn what we can do better in the next relationship and then make those changes. Worrying about the few shitty men out there that fuck married women doesnt help you at all.
/r/Divorce_Men11/11/25 03:03 PM
2

Man, what the hell. You need to heal. Go get laid if you must but dont enter a relationship and dont lead anyone else along.
/r/Divorce_Men06/11/25 04:33 AM
2

I wouldnt do 90% of tbis. Kids need both parents unless one is truly abusive. Going scorched earth feels good as payback but rarely does any good. He needs to move enough money to live on. Stay in the family home if they own. He cant punish by taking away her ability to live. Honestly, he simply needs an attorney. Your job is to listen and love. Legal peeps can do the rest.
/r/Divorce_Men04/11/25 11:23 AM
1

For sure. People evolve or evolve based on life experience. I had a phenomenal marriage until child loss. Most wont have such drastic change but all kinds of losses or even great benefits like a big raise change the way we see things. Lots of divorce is two people that should not have married but I think lots of marriages are also just the passage of life changing the individuals.
/r/Divorce_Men01/11/25 06:13 AM
7

I disagree. We all change with kids, age, job stress, and etc.
/r/Divorce_Men01/11/25 04:32 AM
6

Its a strategy. She is wearing you down. Waiting to find you agitated and then she will become so vile you want to punch her. To scream fuck off you crazy bitch. She will be recording or have a friend record. Maybe a recorder in the kids backpack. Camera app on the kids laptop. Listen to this closely. Do not say anything at all negative about her. Not to the kids, not to your best friend (she may try to bang him for intel or just to break your heart), and not in your home. Get a therapist for an…
/r/Divorce_Men25/09/25 08:05 AM
6

I guess I am lucky. I just dont care what she does sexually. As long as she is a good mom (and she is ). Honestly, I hope she is being safe and discreet and having fun. Happy parents equal a better chance of happy kids. Imo
/r/Divorce_Men29/08/25 12:46 AM
3

If you have kids you should leave it alone. Def get the settlement first either way. If you have kids... Always remember that are multiple sides to a person. As a spouse she sucks. She could still be a great mom or provider. Cultivate those good qualities. In other words dont rock the boat. Dont piss her off .
/r/Divorce_Men27/08/25 07:02 AM
4

Holy fuck. Aren't there laws that dictate this stuff. How does one judge come up with level ten pegging and the other gives you a nice atta boy on the shoulder.
/r/Divorce_Men23/08/25 03:54 AM
3

So you file in the state you live in.
/r/Divorce_Men23/08/25 01:16 AM
5

Cut the GF lose. Not because of the ex. You will need counseling to help. The fact is we never get over the one that got away. The one we really loved. Good news is there is the potential for multiple woman that got away. Your GF isn't one of them by your own admission. Its not fare to her to let her fully fall in love and then you decide to break up.
/r/Divorce_Men22/08/25 07:11 AM
5

Good luck!
/r/Divorce_Men21/08/25 05:28 AM
4

Stop brother. She sounds like she loves you but not a romantic love. You deserve to be fully loved in the way a wife should. Have a hard conversation with yourself. You know deep down you deserve to be loved. Your love simp,y cant fill her love tank. Sit her down and go over what needs to happen for the divorce to be smooth. They dont have to be big battles. DO NOT SLEEP WITH THIS WOMEN ANYMORE. NO BABIES!
/r/Divorce_Men15/08/25 10:14 AM
15

She will need lots of money. Stick to the agreement unless orders change.
/r/Divorce_Men31/07/25 04:38 AM
1

Suck it up. And do it correctly. Never ever let your daughter hear or see you be the asshole. The fact is he will be in her life so ensure he has a chance to be a bonus adult in her life. You need to get counseling and find an outlet for your anger. Work out, boxing, biking, or whatever.
/r/Divorce_Men30/07/25 11:20 PM
5

I was/am but we split from the fallout of losing a child. Ten years as best friends and we decided we both should try to find lovebefore we croak. Lol. My ex ex cheated and I def do t find her nearly as attractive.
/r/Divorce_Men22/07/25 05:41 AM
2

Yes and no. Many states sudo default custody to mom's. This is very nuanced and I think OP seems safe and should take the time to consult an attorney. Op leave the phone and watches at work if yall track each other. And please consider counseling if you haven't already. It really does help some couples. Being divorced is hard. Dating is a motherfucker in the current forms unless rich or 7 to 10 looks.
/r/Divorce_Men08/07/25 03:34 AM
2

Talk to a lawyer. Find the specific laws to your state. But yes mom's usually kinda own the kids until court order. File first though so residency can't be reset.
/r/Divorce_Men08/07/25 03:30 AM
20

Judges dont do that anymore unless you have a job that sends you out of town. That paperwork is to try to get you excited and mad so you do something dumb. Just act nonchalant and have your attorney answer for 50/50 with no ability to change schools and no living with a partner until marriage and must have a background check with no violence or sexual convictions. STAY CALM. NEVER EVER YELL OR SAY STUPID SHIT TO HER.
/r/Divorce_Men03/07/25 02:09 AM
13

Brother, I would wait a few more days to confront. Get an attorney. Get it filed and then serve. I can guarantee an alcoholic with BPD is going the nuclear route. Dont you want to protect your assets as best as possible? Sorry this is happening.
/r/Divorce_Men28/06/25 04:05 PM
10

Emergency court order. Get your lawyer to see the judges clerk and add no felons or sex registered people may meet or love with the kiddo. Do it today.
/r/Divorce_Men27/06/25 07:36 AM
3

Teach the girls to give firm and escalating in volume "NO" to adults. So many kids are taught to not talk back they get into bad situations. As others have said dont poison the new bf to them. Just reiterate safety. There is some pretty good info on Google around teaching kids personal sexual safety as children. If possible have a sit down with the ex and ask her to be vigilant and ensure proper habits are developed between the girls and BF.
/r/Divorce_Men25/06/25 09:25 AM
2

The hardest part for me was the loss of the friendship. We didn't separate for any other reason than the loss of romantic love. It took a year to exit real depression and start lifting my head up... and I knew the marriage would end some day a few years before. I think the avg healing time would be over 2yrs. No rush. Rake your time man. You may or may not be able to keep some level of friendship with the ex. Until you are completely over her dont even try. It is simply to confusing. Have to go …
/r/Divorce_Men10/06/25 05:47 PM
1

Your not going to get the 70/30 unless she explicitly signs off or she is a customer documented monster.
/r/Divorce_Men06/06/25 07:36 AM
1

Divorce, anger, depression, uncertainty, and all the other emotions create brain fog and generalized distraction. It's a slogan to get through. Cry when you need to and dont bottle emotions. Get a personal counselor and if you find a good to great support group let us all know. Lord knows there is some serious bitterness here (rightfully so but we are not healed until its in the rearview)
/r/Divorce_Men05/06/25 08:48 PM
6

It's best to keep it in writing for both of you. Hard though.
/r/Divorce_Men30/05/25 03:08 AM
2

I am sorry you went through that.
/r/Divorce_Men27/05/25 12:10 PM
3

Brothers, you are survivors. I applaud all of that have shared your stories. Only through speaking up will the bigger audience know how big of a problem it is. One in seven of us have been hit by a domestic partner. Those of you reading that may find yourself being abused. Pack a bag and all important papers and leave. If your abuser has been arrested and convicted you may be eligible for assistance from your state. If she is vindictive let your HR know she may make false reports. If you have so…
/r/Divorce_Men26/05/25 08:36 PM
22

Man walks into a bar and gets laid 1 out of 100 times. Women walks into a bar and gets laid every night. Not that hard to understand. At the end of the day women have all the power when it comes to sex.
/r/Divorce_Men26/05/25 01:21 AM
6

Sometimes circumstance gets in the way. I had ten great years with the women who will be the love of my life. Then my step daughter died. We tried for 10 more years but it was never the same. I helped her back on her feet. Gain the skills and education to become a professional and able to support herself. Cancer changes a person. Fundamentally. Facing death. Circumstance. Life. Sometimes it doesn't matter how good or how much love. Life happens. Send her off to find joy. It's going to suck for a…
/r/Divorce_Men23/05/25 04:39 AM
-8

Do get married again. Have kids if you want ot build wealth or whatever. You have learned alot. It helps the second and third marriages a lot.
/r/Divorce_Men22/05/25 03:14 AM
1

Lol. I have two buddies that have both had knives chucked at them. The wives will proudly tell the story with no shame at all.
/r/Divorce_Men21/05/25 10:33 PM
3

The first time we really kissed it felt like my face was being attacked ( in a good way) I am in Houston. We have the second biggest rodeo in the world. Lots of broncs and Latinas. Lol I'm in trouble I am really falling for this girl!!
/r/Divorce_Men20/05/25 12:51 PM
1

I recently learned Latinas are super extra sensitive to being told to calm down! But man is that feisty fun at times!!!
/r/Divorce_Men20/05/25 12:38 PM
2

Put the m I need in an account she can't get to you Let me say that again. Move the money to an account she can't get to. Consult a lawyer. Dates may or may not be important. Sorry Brother.
/r/Divorce_Men20/05/25 09:03 AM
2

Punching or really any out of control discipline def needs to make it to the judges desk. Be sure to take photos if there are marks or bruises. I'm sorry Brother.
/r/Divorce_Men20/05/25 06:51 AM
5

By hit do you mean punched? Where is the phone. Alot of this is he said she said unless there is evidence. Also keep in mind parents are allowed some level of corporal punishment. Sorry you and the kids are going through this. You need to follow attorneys advice.
/r/Divorce_Men20/05/25 03:50 AM
6

It matters because honesty does. Coparenting does. An honest reason for the divorce does. It all matters. I was able to get divorced and be honest. It should be what we all strive for. It hurts when we realize not only is it over we dont even rate some honesty.
/r/Divorce_Men15/05/25 11:18 AM
1

I don't jnow if you have ever suffered real grief. It's the exact same thing. Except you also added all the waht ifs. Did I do something wrong? What could zi have done better? And etc? Don't even worry about any of that right now. You won't have the clarity to see what if any role you played. Simply work hard not to beco,e jaded or mistrusting. The avg is two to three years for some real healing. Some are much faster and some don't really recover. I'm sorry brother. It's going to be hard. You wi…
/r/Divorce_Men15/05/25 10:51 AM
6

I would mention the divorce. It was very hard emotionally. You have identified some issues on your side that you worked through on your own and through therapy. You feel healthy and excited and ready to date. Never dump on your ex. Rarely talk about her unless the new interest ask and then only once yall are dating.
/r/Divorce_Men15/05/25 10:19 AM
1

I think she is pleading mental or intellectual inability to handle/process the proceedings a and the court is kid loving her. OP I just don't know your countries (please edit your post with this info) enough to help. Have you tried searching for legal reddit pages in your country or even divorce support there? Good luck brother.
/r/Divorce_Men15/05/25 10:14 AM
6

Once they leave and shack up there is no choice but to end it. It's all about the children now. You did a background check on the sorta boyfriend correct? The divorce paperwork mentions that neither party may have the children when someone with drug related, sex crime, physical violence, or domestic current charges or convictions is present correct? Male sure if she gets the house the court orders she gets a new mortgage her name only or pays the bank cash and then gives you the agreed upon amou…
/r/Divorce_Men15/05/25 05:05 AM
10

Brother, I am going to be harsh. From this point on you only have one concern. Within that concern they will need a great father, great mother, and resources for education/life lessons. Foster and encourage your ex to do the same. Fight for what you can but not at the cost of upsetting your child. Ask the judge for full college funding from her (for the kiddo) instead of xyz. Only look at the good parts of your ex. Everytime you start spinning force a reset and remember she is smart or her great…
/r/Divorce_Men12/05/25 08:38 PM
5

It doesn't matter. Keep being civil. Even kind. And do not ducking touch her. Love those kids.
/r/Divorce_Men02/05/25 10:25 AM
4

A cold is a call in the morning or text. Hey xyz anc has a cold. Very low fever. Treating with advice.
/r/Divorce_Men28/04/25 03:48 AM
6

You didn't mention kids. If there are not any it sounds like it's divorce time. If there is it's still divorce time but more strategy is needed. At a minimum pay a divorce attorney for an hour of their time and find out your states specific laws on alimony and such. I would hate for yiu to hit some specific alimony time frame and pay a truck load.
/r/Divorce_Men28/04/25 01:34 AM
5

Slow down. You are a year from that. First thing is don't take anything less than 50 50 for the kids. Unless you want less. Never heard of vehicles being sold as part of a divorces (except beyond one vehicle each). Debt will be split 50 50. Do you own a home? If so don't leave unless your safety is an issue. Don't have sex with her. She may use it to trap you. Do NOT touch her at all. Have an app on your phone with one touch record. Anytime she starts in you hit record. Turn off location and dat…
/r/Divorce_Men21/04/25 07:50 AM
10

And block living with others unless married. She wants to play. Play for keeps.
/r/Divorce_Men18/04/25 10:43 PM
12

Tell her you will be at the grocery at xyz time. If she goes to the house she will be arrested. That's it. No other replies.
/r/Divorce_Men15/04/25 02:07 PM
3

My ex and I decided to introduce potential lkng term partners earlier. If the kids and potential partner don't get alo g it's pointless. However they will be pretty rare meet upstairs until it's serious relatiinship.
/r/Divorce_Men14/04/25 05:08 AM
3

Exactly, stay within your morals.
/r/Divorce_Men12/04/25 03:23 PM
3

I get it. Pay and move on. Just put this in a ball of all the stuff you need to heal from. Seriously brother. It all hurts but it's much better to get clean and start the healing.
/r/Divorce_Men07/04/25 06:51 PM
1

I had a few SWAT contracts. Companies that need to rapidly fix/redeploy hundreds of servers after ransomware or the like. Recently been going through every contact on LinkedIn and trying to reconnect a bit. Got a few leads but they dried up. I have had dry spells before but this is insane.
/r/Divorce_Men04/04/25 06:38 AM
2

I think as long as the number is low it's ok. I just don't want to see men get beat up by women. We get that enough in the dating forums and the unisex divorce forum. Women wanting specific questions about dating divorced men prob should not stay. Women with good insight into a specific quitiin men have hear about women is prob good as long as it's apparent it's trying to be helpful. Hope that helps a bit.
/r/Divorce_Men04/04/25 05:52 AM
3

I moved on pretty quickly but we had morphed to best friends wo romance. We lost my step daughter 10yrs before. When we kinda woke up from that we were different people. I am not going to lie and say I didn't cry and become depressed but I was morning what had been predeath. I still morn the lost love of my life but I am enjoying dating. Enjoying sex and enjoying who I have become. I was cheated on unan earlier marriage and man that fucking hurt. Caused trust issues. It was a shit show. I talked…
/r/Divorce_Men04/04/25 05:16 AM
0

It's a team sport. She has girlfriends on the team. I bet money the funnest times she has is hanging with the girls between games. But man is it tough on the parents. In the sun for hours. We would drink... Root beer.
/r/Divorce_Men03/04/25 04:05 AM
2

This is great. Wait though anger will likely come soon. I think it's a grave mistake to hold back this news from the child. They are not dumb they will see mom sad. Y'all can try to hide but will fail causing more disassociation. Ask your counselor about it.
/r/Divorce_Men03/04/25 03:35 AM
1

Block her feed from your page. Why torture yourself? And if your mistake(s) including cheating than she has a right to feel marginalized and lied to.
/r/Divorce_Men29/03/25 04:57 AM
1

Either way everything bought since the marriage has to be inventoried and then a value assigned. Assigning value can be a bitch if she wants to fight. I would get all the values (and be fair if she has an attorney) and offer a buyout. If that doesn't work then go through court. Just remember in some states she can , are you pay legal fees and really fuck you.
/r/Divorce_Men28/03/25 08:04 PM
5

Umm.. I don't the official sub stance but it is def nice to have a space 90% plus dedicated to men. A safe space to bitch, ask, and counsel other men. Imo.
/r/Divorce_Men27/03/25 11:40 PM
5

Come on man. Fine you tried after the first affair but multiple. Have some freaking self respect. Do you want your kids to think this behavior is ok. Cut her off totally financially. Move to a spare bedroom, move all money to a private account and only pay exactly what a court would make you and for fuck sake get an attorney in the morning. Call in sick and do it. Give him the 10k retainer but she steals it.
/r/Divorce_Men27/03/25 03:18 AM
2

Some job markets really suck., it sounds like you are very financially sound but man the IT market blows right now. I am a highly skilled 30yr IT vet and have been off work over a year. Retirement has shifted two years now. Congrats on the divorce my man!
/r/Divorce_Men25/03/25 06:16 PM
6

Stop dating. Get over your ex. Get back in court and force more equal custody. Get counseling to get over your ex.
/r/Divorce_Men23/03/25 07:34 PM
1

When men hit you see it. When women hit it's less obvious unless she got her nails involved. It's basically who has the worse injury. Men def go to jail for holding at arms length their partner and leaving grab marks.
/r/Divorce_Men20/03/25 01:45 AM
12

Lol. If signing away rights was that easy every single one night stand baby would be unsupported by CS.
/r/Divorce_Men18/03/25 04:19 PM
3

I'm sorry brother. It's all tough. Especially the kiddos.
/r/Divorce_Men13/03/25 11:41 AM
3

TX doesn't have alimony. You can look up the child support schedule for two kids and making 94k. It's gonna be over 1200 a month. I make a bit more and have one kid. Two kids doesn't double it though. The prob is your kids will end up living in a shit district as neither of you will be able to afford nice area apartments or homes.
/r/Divorce_Men27/02/25 03:12 PM
3

Or hormonal OP get your PCP to test hormone levels. It's embarrassing but let him or her know the issues you have and that you want to check everything that has to do with sexual drive and function. And keep in mind some people are simply asexual.
/r/Divorce_Men24/02/25 02:07 AM
9

100% if a spouse stayed home and kept the home or raised the kids they should get some help. That help should be geared toward getting them into the work force. That could be a trade school or college. It shouldn't be longer than 5ish years and shouldn't be based on previous spending power.
/r/Divorce_Men24/02/25 01:45 AM
9

Brother don't let hate of yourself linger. You are not an idiot. You are a man of some means. You treat women well. This one women took advantage of your love, empathy, and trust. \grieve the loss of you must but I think you grieve the fantasy of who she could be. Learn, grow, and guard (against scamming skanks not love) BROTHER I beg you to get into counseling. Don't let you call yourself names. You can do permanent damage to yourself.
/r/Divorce_Men21/02/25 06:31 AM
7

OP it sucks but I wouldn't blame it on the ex. At this point it doesn't matter and if her attorney ask it will be made to look like you are poisoning the well. You really need a 15 minute call with your attorney to get instructions. Barring that possibility I would tell them the court likes input from older kids and may have some questions from the judge or either attorney. To tell the truth. It's a huge leap but the judge isn't going to award anything other than 50 50 unless some bombshell stuf…
/r/Divorce_Men21/02/25 12:06 AM
1

This is a bit harsh. He is asking about the kids while conveying his own personal blindsided thoughts. He is saying he didn't prep or ask the attorney about it because it didn't come up.
/r/Divorce_Men20/02/25 11:58 PM
1

Especially when you call each other man and wife. Some states still have common law and some still have religious marriage. Also wait two months after the service and subpoena there work for "partner" declaration and combined insurance. Courts hate being misleading or sneaky stuff.
/r/Divorce_Men20/02/25 11:25 PM
17

NO. If it's a bad relationship keep her far away from anything work related. Who knows she may be fishing for exact job title to sue for more child support.
/r/Divorce_Men20/02/25 04:22 AM
4

Sorry you are hurting my man. It's hard being the one that still has feelings. You have to concentrate on your child. You have a wonderful gift that will love you unconditionally.
/r/Divorce_Men18/02/25 03:15 PM
2

Good for you. Take care of the kiddo.
/r/Divorce_Men18/02/25 06:56 AM
16

Brother, please seek counseling. I get being pissed and depressed. Even thinking about ending your life is very serious. You have to find a way to let her simply be a coparent. And for the sake of your child you want her happy. Happy parents are better parents. It's that simple. I am really sorry your hurting. It's so fucking hard to handle all the emotions. Counseling can help deal with the anger, sadness, trust, and all the other issues. Don't let the anger turn toward all women. Get healthy m…
/r/Divorce_Men18/02/25 12:00 AM
13

Do what's best for the child. Not your ego. Calm yourself. Assume she is taping you as well. The chances of full custody are very low and she will be able to claw some back anyway with good behavior. Be very careful and calculative. Emotion has zero part. Good luck brother.
/r/Divorce_Men17/02/25 03:17 AM
5

We definitely play a role in a failed marriage. We don't play a role in cheating. Period and full stop. As you said in your text if she wants to leave and have sex she can. Couples do survive infidelity. You have to be able to forgive though and it takes time. Do not put up with that she latina BS. That's an excuse to get away with stuff. I know lots of Latinos that are confident and level headed. If you stay she has to change her mindset and understand you being turned off emotionally is from h…
/r/Divorce_Men13/02/25 06:51 PM
4

I had zero luck on multiple apps. Then I joined FB dating and had some great conversations. I am dating a women now for a few weeks and it is great. It is hardwork though. You may not be ready. For me I just woke up one day and had a new energy. Basically I had thought I was ready but I still had lingering issues feeling sorry for myself. Once I let that go I was ready.
/r/Divorce_Men13/02/25 01:16 PM
1

Holy crap. I am gonna guess y'all don't have a cousin chat group. I have one with my brother and my one cousin. Lol
/r/Divorce_Men05/02/25 01:33 AM
3

If her family is so toxic they would cut her off there is no reason to let them know. She has suffered enough growing up in suck and unforgiving shitty household. Look I hate cheaters. I have never cheated and had to leave two marriages from it. The fact is the relationship is over between these two people. Not friends now family. There is no duty to tell a spouse they are being cheated on. At this point it's just punitive. I would simply tell her family I love them. Thank you for being so kind.…
/r/Divorce_Men28/01/25 01:14 AM
2

Nothing good comes from shaming her. Seriously would you really feel better in two years knowing you lowered herself to her level? I know I wouldn't even if it felt good for a while. It sucks and I am sorry your hurting. We all get it. Whatever the cause of a failed marriage it simple sucks. IMO it's best to grieve the relationship just like you would a death. The process is the same and the emotions are the same. You are likely in the mad stage which makes you want to lash out. Keep your head u…
/r/Divorce_Men27/01/25 11:58 PM
3

I tell my daughter my mistakes in my marriage. I don't speak to her mom. I am lucky though. My ex is a good person. However we did both make mistakes. I can speak to those. I can speak to how a man should treat her. What she should work through and what to never tolerate (cheating or physical abuse or more than once a year name calling).
/r/Divorce_Men25/01/25 03:48 AM
11

You call the police. Hopefully you at least took a pic of any damage to the child. Listen your only concern now is the children. If the ex is abusing them then you get them away from them. In the morning make a police report (ps they are auto notified when DCF gets a report of abuse in Texas). Then an attorney. Then an emergency protection order for the children and then emergency custody. By not reporting you will look bad to all agencies.
/r/Divorce_Men24/01/25 06:42 AM
2

Be sure to ask the attorney if any notification should be made to your employer about the divorce and all sorts of allegations to make you lose your job.
/r/Divorce_Men24/01/25 01:26 AM
2

I teach my daughter to be kind with her honesty. It's important to have difficult conversations and they take practice. Life is forever a long drawn out learning opportunity. Learn to study school or life. No matter what feminist say men will judge her for body count. Sex in a relationship is funner, more fulfilling, and have less chance of serious consequences. Teen pregnancy will slow her life earnings by over a million over her life. However she shouldn't be ashamed of sex. It's not some naug…
/r/Divorce_Men21/01/25 03:22 AM
2

It's anxiety. It makes the chest hurt. Get an attorney. Make sure the child can't be taken without court order nor can he or she be around or live with another man.
/r/Divorce_Men20/01/25 04:01 AM
3

Great advice. Adding get a lawyer next week. Fighting against a spouse with unlimited family cash is tough. Sorry brother. It sucks. Cry when you need to. Remember to always keep calm. No yelling. Some partners are devious as fuck and will provoke you to a rage and then start recording.
/r/Divorce_Men18/01/25 06:05 AM
1

I actually live in Houston but am very familiar with Austin. I don't know the cost of apartments though. Lots of the tech companies are north of Austin which would help a bit.
/r/Divorce_Men18/01/25 01:38 AM
4

How old are the kids. The most important thing is to teach the kids that no matter what threats, treats, or other coercing they should tell and say no to any thing nefarious. Next thing is sitting down with your ex and ensuring you are both on the same plan as far as discipline for the kids should always come from the parent rather than a significant other. Last thing is don't be one of those dads (or moms) that doesn't allow a good partner of your ex to help make your kids a better person. Bonu…
/r/Divorce_Men17/01/25 10:22 PM
5

With big fake looking boobs. Lol. I still watch her.
/r/Divorce_Men17/01/25 05:23 PM
5

Austin is very very expensive and traffic is absolutely terrible. 10s of thousands have moved there over the last decade. The city has serious crime issues. However if your an IT person. It is a serious tech hub and like you said lots of job potentiall and working for FB will be a good resume builder. Good luck man. I got laid off last year and really struggle with finding work.
/r/Divorce_Men17/01/25 03:58 PM
2

Better than they do. They get 500 million plus. Most our ex's get 3 dollars.
/r/Divorce_Men11/01/25 03:19 AM
13

Sounds like major depression or postpartum.
/r/Divorce_Men06/01/25 06:10 AM
1

Yeah, but it really sucks. How do you find love that was complete on every level again. We used to have sex so much my brother asked me if I was working out. My chest and arms were bigger lol. Like all marriages and especially after a kid that slowed down a bit but as long as the desire is there that's fine. I just feel sorry for myself. After my first marriage I knew I had a lot to work on and I did. I don't feel that need this time. For sure there is some stuff but it's not a total rebrand.
/r/Divorce_Men01/01/25 05:07 AM
9

I am. She's a wonderful person and mother. Or story is different than most. We lost my step daughter years ago and finally decided to divorce this year. It's been hard. I mourne the love we had but a loss like that changes people. We simply are not the same people that met 16 years ago. I wish her happiness and finding her smile again.
/r/Divorce_Men31/12/24 02:36 AM
2

Best wishes!
/r/Divorce_Men26/12/24 04:23 AM
7

Not me. I hate it. I am going to miss breakfast, mimosa, baked goods, and all the previous (normal) decorations. Plus I don't have my kiddo. Spent this evening with my dad and his wife. Tomorrow I am off to a buddies to watch the Texans game. They are having a hard time as the grandpa is to be buried Thursday. Just a shot holiday all around.
/r/Divorce_Men25/12/24 07:28 AM
7

Sorry brother. I thought I was done crying but when I dropped my teen off today knowing I wouldn't have her it also hit me this would be my first Christmas without the mimosas, cranberry bread, a stocking, and just all the Xmas morning stuff families do. It's hard. Instead I will spend the day with my HS best friend. We have remained friends since 1986 and man we have saved each other a few times over the years.
/r/Divorce_Men24/12/24 07:56 AM
6

It's a grieving process. You have literally lost someone you loved. They takes time to process and get over. And let's not forget in many ways a death is easier to grieve. We don't have to watch them go on dates. Use our children against us, and steal the very money we earned to support us. In other words it's a motherfucker. Don't become bitter like some of the men you will see here. Not all women or even the majority are bad. They are caught in the same system of chewing up people and kicking …
/r/Divorce_Men24/12/24 07:23 AM
4

This. What do you think will happen in the next couple of years when your daughter becomes a teen and starts acting out? Be smart though. Find out the recording laws in your state. Record her every week and save the files. Video of you can because when the police come she can lie. Once you get the dv you can get a restraining order for you and your daughter. Then emergency custody. Meet with an attorney to get a plan. How much money are required to give her if she has the kid vs wonthe child. Do…
/r/Divorce_Men23/12/24 07:44 AM
2

We just do our normal 4 day on and 4 day off. Ex was nice enough to giver me my daughter for new years as Xmas and NY belonged to her. I spent 20 years in emergency service though so I am used to celebrating whenever for all holidays. I would rather spend a whole day with my little on a pretend Christmas than half a day anyway. Plus the kiddo will get two full Christmases.
/r/Divorce_Men23/12/24 07:12 AM
3

Yeah, it won't work this way. You will just have confused kids. No matter what y'all need to find common ground. The kids are already going to go through hell when y'all split. They don't need rules at different houses that are 180 degrees from each other. Ps... Don't throw away love if you actually have it. It's a mf to find again.
/r/Divorce_Men23/12/24 03:12 AM
2

Grief indeed with a side of extending your planned working years. Consult an attorney and see what the avg settlement cost is for your net worth bracket and try to exit as early as possible. It's worth an extra % to her or you can give even more money to an attorney. That's one battle. Then there is the child custody battle. Which can be even worse if either of you is unhinged.
/r/Divorce_Men20/12/24 05:14 PM
7

And Austen is one of the most expensive cities outside of West Coast or NY NE areas in the country. You would live far from the office in terrible traffic, need roomates, and would work for a high layoff company.
/r/Divorce_Men20/12/24 06:57 AM
1

This. But please do not talk bad about his mom. He will figure it out on his own. He doesn't need his parents weaponizing the other parent.
/r/Divorce_Men19/12/24 03:35 PM
1

Swimming is great for the heart and works a ton of muscle groups.
/r/Divorce_Men17/12/24 05:57 AM
5

Fuck 0 alimony. She fired her shot. OP is entitled to alimony and child support in some states.
/r/Divorce_Men12/12/24 05:43 AM
6

10 to 30% of dads forced to pay child support for a child that isn't theirs. That level of injustice needs a remediation of some sort.
/r/Divorce_Men08/12/24 03:34 AM
2

Why are you giving her money now? Is it court ordered?
/r/Divorce_Men05/12/24 06:00 AM
3

Yes, compromise. At my grandfather's wake someone asked my grandmother how they had such a loving relationship (they really did for over 50 years). She said when he went to the store he new I liked crunchy peanut butter so that's what he got. I knew he liked smooth so that's what I got. Everyone went awww and then she slyly said of course he only went shopping a few times, lol. But the idea is compromise and love. Not bitch and destroy.
/r/Divorce_Men04/12/24 07:09 AM
2

Good for you. My dog Abbie saved my life after my divorce. I am going through another divorce now so it's me and my three muts. They don't really sense sadness like Abbie did. Man she was not a lap dog but when I got really sad she would come sit on me for hours. Anyway congrats on the puppy!
/r/Divorce_Men04/12/24 07:05 AM
12

My buddy went through this. His ex's family are multimillionaires. The battle lasted years as he actually had to find raise to afford attornies. His ex put the kid through sex assault rape kit, forensic psychologist, and even moved as a court date approached in order to have the case basically start over in a new jurisdiction. Took over 6 years to get the court to rule for him. However because it had been years and the kid was told repeatedly she was assaulted the court ordered once a week super…
/r/Divorce_Men03/12/24 11:21 PM
1

Do you know the proper format to get that data entered? Do you think her lawyers will just accept it? Will you know when discovery has to be made and how it has to be delivered to the court and defense? Lots of cases are simply lost from 1 little procedural entry or lack of entry.
/r/Divorce_Men02/12/24 05:17 AM
8

No, it will mess up finances, emotionally moving on, and eventually future romance.
/r/Divorce_Men01/12/24 01:18 AM
6

12 year old are very money aware. At that age they are starting to want to use a bit of spending power for lotions and light makeup if allowed. Their own clothes, games, and etc. Many banks now have kid debit cards that allow parents to add allowance to as well as set chores that may pay extra. That earned money can be set to by parents to categories it can be spent on or percentage that has to be saved.
/r/Divorce_Men27/11/24 04:52 AM
5

You must be young. All the women you want as a balding 53 year old man equals ugly women or none at all. Lol
/r/Divorce_Men26/11/24 06:09 PM
8

So she gets to sell the house when the kids are of age? And keep all the money? This is a bad deal unless you make a ton and can afford a comparable house for the days they are with you? Then what happens if you lose your job for some reason? What does she pay and how much does she make?
/r/Divorce_Men26/11/24 06:38 AM
3

I had a surprise and unwanted divorce. For us it was the loss of a child 9 years before. She could never regain the want to have any fun but fuck it hurt. That was in Feb and it took until last month for me to fully accept this is what's best for me and my daughter. It hurt and I cried a lot. I have a best friend of 40 years along with my dad that I lean on heavily. Stick around people that really love you and cry and rant as needed but try not to be overly emotional in front of the kids.
/r/Divorce_Men25/11/24 02:22 PM
6

Before you do a damn thing get a retainer on a highly rated lawyer and make sure he won't dip or have a conflict of interest working against your wife. Hell get two attorneys lol. Then tell your wife.
/r/Divorce_Men25/11/24 07:07 AM
-1

The court said you must return it which means you take the cost. Imo
/r/Divorce_Men23/11/24 11:43 PM
1

Man, I would try counseling. Really sit her down and let her know what it takes to retire and how little you will have with just social security. It's tough with inflation. All the extra money I had three years ago is 100% taken by bills and consumables. Scary for sure but damn we have to fight for love. Good luck brother!
/r/Divorce_Men23/11/24 09:53 AM
3

Double especially if there is a teen that already hates you. You cannot afford any outburst. No out of control brain altering substances. Everything in moderation. Every decision calculated like a chess board. Edite to add. Do not sell that house without a lawyers approval. You could be giving away leverage or money you don't have to. It's an option right now.
/r/Divorce_Men18/11/24 05:23 AM
2

This is phenomenal advice. I hate all the she is cheating BS. Lots of women simply have low libido or are on meds that lower it. \ OP ask the wife if she is willing to get her hormones checked. That you love her and the kids but hate pressuring her for sex and let's see if a med or blood chemistry may cause it. Anyway as Oop said it's not like your gonna get laid more than once a month or so unless you simply have zero shits what she looks like. Hell maybe your wife will let you have a play cati…
/r/Divorce_Men18/11/24 12:32 AM
5

The custody situation is far from over. I know several people with bipolar that have primary custody. As long as you don't have arrest and preferrably reports of DV you can fight. You will need doctors that report you take your meds as directed and are no longer suicidal. Work toward 100% fixing your self and slow down the divorce process. Get a lawyer tomorrow. Get your options and realistic outlook before letting yourself deep dive into depression. It's not over by a long shot.
/r/Divorce_Men17/11/24 10:18 PM
1

Yep, I have a buddy that only dates 300+ tall women.
/r/Divorce_Men15/11/24 12:49 PM
2

This is me. I can have anger at her for ending the marriage but I refuse to be an asshole. She is a great mother and that's enough for me to love her. Man it hurts so bad though. I hate it.
/r/Divorce_Men15/11/24 12:02 PM
2

Can you afford the house and the rental? I am worried your ex could muddy the waters and drag the divorce out for a while. It sounds like you have some money and money always makes this proceedings longer and more contentious. Is she the type to hit and break things when pissed? Are you worried about her damaging the house or making sure it's dirty when potential buyers come to look? Lots of reasons the general advice is to never leave the home.
/r/Divorce_Men10/11/24 07:23 AM
5

Well first you file for divorce. Then I would ask HR if it's ok for your boss to be sleeping with your wife? If they are ok with it then it's time for some job hunting as well. When you meet with the attorney which is usually free for the first visit. Find out what he suggest. There will be some money protection ideas as well. Have your own checking account ready and start having your pay deposited there. We don't want her grabbing it and running. Last. Y do not move out of the house. Even if sh…
/r/Divorce_Men10/11/24 06:40 AM
1

If she isn't in the army there isn't much they can do. They will slam you if you mess up though. Is your attorney Army provided or public? Your lawyer should be able to take the Facebook info and get the temp order more strict and perm. I know it's expensive and the Army doesn't pay as much as it should. Take care and good luck. Thank you for your service. (I really mean that)
/r/Divorce_Men10/11/24 12:52 AM
2

That would be expensive. Good luck man. NY is not a state to get divorced in.
/r/Divorce_Men09/11/24 07:30 AM
2

Texas is 18 or HS graduation. Whichever comes later. With some exceptions for special needs. OP you need a lawyer. 40% is crazy. Who pays tuition. I assume the kids are in a dorm or living alone near the college? Such a stupid law if it doesn't include a mandate that a large percentage of the child support has to go toward college and college related stuff. The law could literally keep the child out of school of the parent receiving the money just keeps it for themselves.
/r/Divorce_Men08/11/24 03:01 PM
6

I wouldn't necessarily stop seeing her. It really depends on how nuclear she was with tone and language. You learned a lesson. She prob meant you can talk about the divorce, get advice, and loss of child hours. And maybe a tiny bit about the ex. In real life you want to be pretty well past on the trauma before dating. Hell about half or more won't date you until the divorce is final. Anyway, dating like marriage and divorce is a big learning curve. You learned some stuff.
/r/Divorce_Men08/11/24 06:14 AM
1

Ask the judge to make the calls through recorded parenting app if recording is illegal in your state. Do you have a lawyer? What does he tell you to do? Are the text threatening you physically or abusive in a humiliating way? It's possible you can get an emergency restraining order. If you get one file an emergency hearing with the custody judges clerk on the same day. U really need a lawyer. Like yesterday. Ps does the boyfriend have a record with assault, rape, are drug sales of hard core narc…
/r/Divorce_Men08/11/24 02:04 AM
-12

You sound a bit bitter toward women. Lots of judgement based on the judge liking a bit of dick on the side. The first paragraph was all about good decision being made for the kids but you didn't like it. Have your attorney call the law clerk and say the judge forgot an order. They have thousands of cases and make mistakesall the time. Divorce is hard as fuck. One parent will usually do better to much better than the other. This creates a lack of fun the poorer parents feels like they can do. Tha…
/r/Divorce_Men08/11/24 01:02 AM
3

You can def get a restraining order that forces her to only communicate about you or with you via the parental app the specific court uses. I would find out how to apply for an emergency order and have one issued against her contacting only very limited people. Why the hell has your lawyer not done this for you? Sorry op. Sucks bad to have divorce stress plus work stress.
/r/Divorce_Men08/11/24 12:34 AM
4

And get your own bank account that she is not on. She doesn't need to see what's going on with your money. Some judges get pissed if you drop insurance. You need a lawyer yesterday to answer this question.
/r/Divorce_Men07/11/24 03:19 AM
4

Insurance via work isn't setup to pay for an ex. In fact it's fraud. She would have to get a plan and then you reimburse her.
/r/Divorce_Men05/11/24 05:21 AM
5

This times another 1000. If she leaves again before your states residency laws kick in for the step father kick his ass out. You don't need her cheerleader living there with your ex and you for the next year.
/r/Divorce_Men01/11/24 05:12 AM
3

Dude being human and not being an abusive asshole are two different things. Passion is good. Of course we are gonna rupture a bit every few years. Apologize for the outburst but move on.
/r/Divorce_Men01/11/24 05:06 AM
1

Def worth a call to your child custody attorney. In the short term as the other poster said. Record if legal and if not make copious notes. She may feel like she cannot compete with what you are able to offer.
/r/Divorce_Men30/10/24 12:11 PM
3

This is classic behavior of abusers. They lure you in and then slowly isolate. Once the person is isolated abuse starts getting worse and worse. Talk to any divorce lawyer or police officer. They all have numerous stories of seeing this pattern.
/r/Divorce_Men24/10/24 03:15 PM
1

Really shitty spouses can be great moms or dads. Protect yourself and do what's best for the kids. Even if it's hard as hell emotionally.
/r/Divorce_Men16/10/24 02:24 AM
0

Have you tried talking to the ex lately. Maybe she would be willing to sit down and give you some answers. I feel your pain. I know I was a good husband. I treated her very well and supported almost all her desires. I just don't understand why she left.
/r/Divorce_Men14/10/24 06:56 AM
8

You must be very good looking. I hate you lol
/r/Divorce_Men14/10/24 01:39 AM
3

Either you fell out of love a long time ago or you are fooling yourself. 19 year relationships with a side of dependence don't get mostly cured and corrected in a year. It might be harsh to say but I think you have buried a lot of stuff and may still be lieing except to yourself. Do you talk to anyone about your feelings? Do you feel sad for your kids and what you likely put them through. Do you go to AA? Have you had blood work that shows good liver function? The desire of this group is to supp…
/r/Divorce_Men09/10/24 05:22 PM
2

I would stay in the house in a spare bedroom. Until the house is sold and shares are distributed from the proceeds. Custody should be 50\50. Don't let her push you around. You are not the one wanting to end the marriage. For now I would have whoever makes more pay for health and dental insurance. Then look up the formula for child support in your state. Be sure to use the formula for both parents working. Some states require the child support to be based on the difference in pay after taxes and …
/r/Divorce_Men07/10/24 10:47 PM
8

For sure. I was a small town cop and we would look for physical marks on both parties. We also looked for offensive vs defensive wounds. For instance an obvious slap mark on the husband and he also said he had to hold her arms but she struggled and got bruises on her wrist. We would likely arrest the women only. Now let's say he had a slap mark and she had a big bruise on her chest. Then we would have to assume mutual combat. It's not close to perfect. Some depts arrest both parties if there are…
/r/Divorce_Men06/10/24 04:02 AM
2

I have to get a hobby. I just sit and feel sorry for myself. I could be productive or at least occupy my mind.
/r/Divorce_Men06/10/24 01:11 AM
4

Any hobby should change a lot after a child. The household chores go up, parenting takes time, playing with kiddo takes time, work takes time, and taking care and loving your spouse takes time. Something that could easily be an hour a day before a child could go to two hours on the weekend. Keep in mind though your spouse is following the baby around while you do that. She sees you do and after time will resent it. OP take a long hard look at the amount of time you play vs available family time.…
/r/Divorce_Men05/10/24 04:51 AM
3

A bit harsh but everything he said is true. It is an attempt to wake you up. The hardest part of divorce is mourning the person you fell in love with. That person is gone. You see parts of it when things are perfect but they are quickly lost to who she has grown to be and that person doesn't have respect for you.
/r/Divorce_Men01/10/24 06:11 PM
2

Sorry brother. It sounds like you put up a real fight to get her to re-engage. She has made small efforts but failed many times over the last 5 years or so. She has been dreaming a bit of other men through Facebook and maybe more. She is refusing counseling, doesn't engage sexually, and withholds kindness. You have to decide if that's enough or would you be happier alone? Or content living with someone that seems to have lost respect for you.
/r/Divorce_Men01/10/24 06:07 PM
2

It depends how close you guys are in the post divorce agreements. Do you both fully agree with splitting of finances, what will happen to the house, child custody, same schools, and etc. There also needs to be ground rules. Absolutely no sex between the two of you, no new love interest in the house, clear division of chores, and etc. You want to minimize anything that can be fought over.
/r/Divorce_Men01/10/24 05:26 PM
2

If your equipment works well during personal and solo private time then it's a mental issue with sex. As others have mentioned cilias and Viagra can help keep things working until your confidence comes back. If the women you were with was understanding is someone you care for she can prob fix the issue by being encouraging and making you feel sexy and wanted. It would require a conversation before y'all try again though. You will also need to make her understand it's you and not her.
/r/Divorce_Men01/10/24 05:22 PM
5

How often is he to stay over? How often do you take him for day trips? You need to get him comfortable with you if he has been away for a while or sees you infrequently. Try to make outings fun and focused on things you want to do. He is at the age where it can be scary to be away from Mom and his bed. It will be a process to win his trust and make him comfortable.
/r/Divorce_Men29/09/24 05:29 AM
2

Judges hate when spouses hide and quickly spend money.
/r/Divorce_Men23/09/24 04:09 AM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

© TheRedArchive 2026. All rights reserved.
created by /u/dream-hunter