apc4455 Archive

Upvotes	Title	Category	Author	Subreddit	Date (UTC)
7	Are male dating coaches ruining modern dating?	Discussion	apc4455	/r/PurplePillDebate	02/02/24 12:58 PM
2	Anxiety and insecurity in men are the biggest attraction killers	Discussion	apc4455	/r/PurplePillDebate	03/02/24 01:02 PM

Upvotes	Comment on	Subreddit	Date (UTC)
–	Women settle down with and seriously date lesser men, but still hold toxic men from their past in a higher regard. But they don’t.	/r/PurplePillDebate	10/04/24 04:46 PM
–	Women don't seem to like men Women do a piss poor job of showing that they even like average men. It exists within the cultural subtext of the demonization of approach (warm and cold). Nah, they just don't like average men simple as that. Has nothing to do with culture, feminism, etc. Women are attracted to only a very small percentage of men (looks, social status, whatever other criteria). It's just how it is and always has been.	/r/PurplePillDebate	28/02/24 09:13 AM
–	Women preferring to stay single because they don't feel attracted to average men says a lot about their unrealistic expectations Both are equally at fault for these dynamics. Obviously those guys doing this are predatory for feigning genuine interest to trick her to get laid. But the girls are also at fault for constantly falling for this. When an average guy approaches them they play it slow, go on dates, try to get to know him, make him "work for it", don't want to get physical until date X+, etc. But when one of these super got guys approaches them they are super quick to please him and give him anything he wants immed…	/r/PurplePillDebate	27/02/24 07:54 AM
–	Women preferring to stay single because they don't feel attracted to average men says a lot about their unrealistic expectations Yes. And yes. Many sociopaths out there but seems like many women are drooling over them?	/r/PurplePillDebate	27/02/24 07:25 AM
6	Women preferring to stay single because they don't feel attracted to average men says a lot about their unrealistic expectations Because they are targets for pickup. Not targets for relationship and dating (by the hot guys). The guys never stick around. But the girl hopes to actually date one of those hot guys but it never happens. So she gets used by these guys and she keeps on hoping that maybe perhaps someday one of those guys will at one point take her seriously.	/r/PurplePillDebate	26/02/24 06:03 PM
6	Women preferring to stay single because they don't feel attracted to average men says a lot about their unrealistic expectations He is trying to say that fat girls are easier to be manipulated into sex, especially if you are a very hot guy. Because they usually have low self-esteem and may not get as much attention from very hot guys than skinny girls. So when a very hot guy approaches them they are very quick to please him and give him whatever he wants in other to try and lock him in. Especially if he's a a very hot player type guy, as she'll know he won't linger around waiting on date 3+ he'll just get it somewhere els…	/r/PurplePillDebate	26/02/24 05:55 PM
2	If "Being An Asshole" Was All It Took To Get Women, Why Are So Many Assholes Single? "women are attracted to assholes" - They are not attracted to the fact they are assholes. They are initially attracted to other traits assholes usually also have such as confidence, assertiveness, extraversion, high-energy, non-neediness. "women hate kind men" - They do not hate kind men. Just that sometimes and some kind men have overlapping traits that are associated to be negative such as lack of confidence, being shy, insecure, being too pleasing, needy. In these two scenarios the first is m…	/r/PurplePillDebate	21/02/24 08:17 AM
0	What advice would you give a "high value man" who is struggling with dating? Yes.	/r/PurplePillDebate	05/02/24 02:37 PM
–	Anxiety and insecurity in men are the biggest attraction killers Yes, and my thesis is that at one point every guy will just have to accept this and stop getting bitter about it. Because it's just seems to be hardwired by nature for women to be repelled by anxiety and insecurity in men. Just have to accept this as part of objective reality without putting any emotion into it. Thinking in terms of fair vs. unfair, hypocritical, double standards, etc. will not change this reality. Women themselves can't change this or "out reason" it, or "decide" to overlook it…	/r/PurplePillDebate	03/02/24 02:28 PM
–	Anxiety and insecurity in men are the biggest attraction killers Yes. And my point is that there is no purpose in feeling bitter about it. This just seems to be a biological / evolutionary fact. Same as women having vaginas and guys having penises. It's a biological difference.	/r/PurplePillDebate	03/02/24 02:21 PM
1	Are male dating coaches ruining modern dating? I actually agree with you here. This might offend a lot of women on this sub but I've noticed as time went on the women I knew since adolescence/college, the ones that are still single to this day (mid 30s) are the ones who always needed the super strong sparks fireworks feelings on first dates to even consider any guy and were constantly seeking excitement and thrills. They had a lot of relationships over the years but are still single (and still looking) to this day. They generally had a thril…	/r/PurplePillDebate	03/02/24 10:58 AM
6	Are male dating coaches ruining modern dating? Yes, you may be right. It could be that using those tricks and tactics only works on a particular subset of women. Such as maybe inexperienced, very young, naive, low self-esteem, BPD, past emotional trauma. (I'm not judging or looking down upon here) Such relationships will always be very turbulent and usually end. Very likely that emotionally healthy and mature women simply just won't fall for these cheap tricks and manage to avoid those kinds of guys.	/r/PurplePillDebate	02/02/24 01:38 PM
4	Are male dating coaches ruining modern dating? "How to attract how value women/men", "How to be in your feminine/masculine" Lol. This is literally what all of them do. Makes me cringe every time when I see it.	/r/PurplePillDebate	02/02/24 01:22 PM
2	Men on this sub are probably below average which is why they are struggling Yes, I know. And it is very sad.	/r/PurplePillDebate	02/02/24 11:26 AM
6	Men on this sub are probably below average which is why they are struggling It's absolutely not normal not to have friends. People saying that are just coping / trying to come up wit justifications. Any guy that has no friends at all will come across super weird and creepy to the majority of women. This is also how codependency gets created. You luck out and somehow get a girlfriend and slowly she becomes your everything. You then become overbearing and needy and she will lose attraction. She then leaves you and now you have 0 people in your life and are at the brink of…	/r/PurplePillDebate	02/02/24 11:13 AM
4	Men on this sub are probably below average which is why they are struggling It happened to me a few times the last few years. Eventually the girl picked up on the fact that outside of my work and personal hobbies I kinda do... nothing? Like not going out with friends etc. This is ultra super weird, but especially so for women. I may have been very interesting in every other way, but this one thing killed all interest. And evolutionarily it makes sense for women to be aversive to such guys. People lived in tribes and their survival depended on being a member of a tribe. …	/r/PurplePillDebate	02/02/24 11:01 AM
–	I feel like men fall in love simply by spending time with a woman, but women need good sex to fall in love. Am I wrong? I think these are just generalisations. I had the following experiences: - woman fell for me on the very first date for whatever spark she felt (I was thinking of someone else the whole time on that date and was completely checked out) - woman was into me and chasing me for months even though the sex was shit (I was super inexperienced and had premature ejaculation i.e. literally 5 second game) - woman caught strong feelings for me only after dating for multiple months Don't generalize on one …	/r/PurplePillDebate	02/02/24 10:50 AM
6	Men on this sub are probably below average which is why they are struggling > It isn't normal to not have a social circle of friends and acquaintances For me it's this that makes me "below average" at this moment in time. It started with the covid lockdowns, moving to a small town and working from home. Before, I never had issues getting attention from women even tough I am only average at best in the looks department. I think being disconnected from a social circle gets reflected on your general vibe. It's not that you are necessarily full-on depressed or desperate, si…	/r/PurplePillDebate	02/02/24 10:37 AM
1	Do unattractive women get hit up for sex more than attractive ones? I don't think the majority of women are even consciously aware of this. Definitely not if they just start out in their online dating adventures. It's almost inevitable for them not to immediately get burned by at least 5-10 near-model tier fuck boys initially. They will get so many matches and some will inevitably be those very attractive men. And since they don't yet know how this game works, naturally they'll pick the very got guys. Some of the smarter ones will get burned a few times but wise…	/r/PurplePillDebate	01/02/24 05:42 PM
6	Do unattractive women get hit up for sex more than attractive ones? Women approach things from an emotional perspective. And for most women emotions are always valid. "I love him. Love is a positive emotion. I feel positive when I love him. Therefore my actions* were justified." *overlooking red flags, turn a blind eye to cheating, thinking the hookup guy will love her in time, etc. Yeah sure, not all women are like this, but have seen this way too many times. But far too many times have I heard women say "because I loved him" as a justification in a self-righte…	/r/PurplePillDebate	01/02/24 05:29 PM
–	The Best Way To Meet Women Based On Your Personal Attributes. (Statistics) Yeah it's crazy. I honestly don't see any difference from 5.5 to 9.5. 4.5 - 5.5 is still very attractive in my opinion. 3.0-4.0 is what most people look like. Then apparently anyone below this is either on their death bed or a chronic meth user. Whoever made this never goes outside in the real world. That rating sub is also trash. If you dare rate anyone higher than 4.5 - 5.0 you get literally permabanned by the mods.	/r/PurplePillDebate	01/02/24 04:33 PM
–	The Best Way To Meet Women Based On Your Personal Attributes. (Statistics) It's absolutely ridiculous. From that image I consider everyone from 3.5 to 9.5 to range between attractive to very attractive. 3.0 - I think is what the majority of people actually look like in real life. Then from 2.5 to 0.5 it's literally going straight to Gollum or Jabba the Hut tier.	/r/PurplePillDebate	01/02/24 11:36 AM
–	Has playing it “cool” ever backfired? The guy was probably - incorrectly - following male dating advice that in the beginning you should not show too much interest because it comes across needy and will push the girl away. You said this happened two months in. At that point the guy is expected to become somewhat more open and emotionally available as the girl is (hopefully) already into him so it won't come across as needy (unless it's overdone). So, he was probably following some RP / mansosphere dating advice script but didn't rea…	/r/PurplePillDebate	01/02/24 11:24 AM
2	I think many women realize a huge portion of their 'attraction' comes from 'limited access'. I recently found one of my girl friends (friend as in friendship) on Tinder. All her pictures looked compleeeetely different than how she looks in real life. Carefully selected angles to exclusively show her from the most positive angle, full pretty girl makeup (she never/rarely wears in real life). Lead picture was also subtle cleavage pic with very obvious (to me, as I know her in person) pushup device under her breasts. In real life she is a completely normal girl, non-bitchy, not into hookup…	/r/PurplePillDebate	01/02/24 11:06 AM
4	Do unattractive women get hit up for sex more than attractive ones? Yes. Unfortunately many men are very predatory and are willing to lie and manipulate just to have sex. Many men also have absolutely no issue with having sex with someone they are genuinely not attracted to. Many men have figured out they need to pretend they are actually interested in her / be into her / may consider an actual relationship along the line, only to convince the girl to have sex with him. But even guys who will be up front about only wanting a hookup will still have to somehow "ea…	/r/PurplePillDebate	01/02/24 10:20 AM
15	Do unattractive women get hit up for sex more than attractive ones? This is what a woman friend of mine wrote to me after I showed a few screenshots to her from this thread: "even if you tell her that’s all it is, she doesn’t fully believe it. She hopes that as time goes on, you will also fall for her, that you will realize she is worth loving and choosing, and you will change your mind because you won’t want to lose her." (insert shrug emoji)	/r/PurplePillDebate	01/02/24 09:54 AM
11	Do unattractive women get hit up for sex more than attractive ones? Right. And the fact the guys in this situation are at best only mildly interested in her and display extreme non-neediness (cause they genuinely don't care about her) makes them exponentially more attractive and desirable in the woman's mind, as that makes her (falsely) interpret the guy to be high-value/desirable. It's a vicious and destructive circle.	/r/PurplePillDebate	01/02/24 09:31 AM
13	Do unattractive women get hit up for sex more than attractive ones? Agreed. Recently a woman friend of mine said the following when I asked a similar question as OP: "even if you tell her that’s all it is, she doesn’t fully believe it. She hopes that as time goes on, you will also fall for her, that you will realize she is worth loving and choosing, and you will change your mind because you won’t want to lose her." She said she knows far too many girls who believe this and this happens very frequently.	/r/PurplePillDebate	01/02/24 06:48 AM
12	Do unattractive women get hit up for sex more than attractive ones? To put it another way: A woman starts online dating, and men who are way more attractive than anyone they ever dated, are suddenly interested. Most women, however, won't be able to figure out this is not real attention. They will now chase the fantasy that those men were really interested or that at least one of them might be in the future.	/r/PurplePillDebate	01/02/24 06:19 AM
–	Why are some women into 'bad boys' I sam noticing these patterns so much. Girls chasing "exciting" bad boys and guys chasing the "bitchy" hot girls. While ignoring everyone who is just "normal". You get to know their family background and almost always it's a shitty childhood. Emotional neglect or asshole parents. Unfortunately, it's very rare that these people can be self-aware enough and change. Then they forever chase the fantasy and always end up in toxic relationships.	/r/PurplePillDebate	31/01/24 06:21 AM
–	Why are some women into 'bad boys' I am guilty as charged. In my younger years I only pursued the hot bitchy and unavailable girls. Got almost always rejected and when not it ended with either cheating or abuse. Meanwhile rejected hordes of emotionally healthy and beautiful and highly interested in me girls, associating them with “low value” purely because they were so interested . Took me a decade to figure out that this came from childhood abandoned trauma and I was subconsciously chasing the validation from those unavailable g…	/r/PurplePillDebate	30/01/24 10:33 PM
13	Why are some women into 'bad boys' It's similar to when an adult man wants an adult woman who is confident, willing to take charge in sex, and works hard to make herself sexy for him, but who has never before had a relationship or wanted sex from anyone, and he has a fantasy that she will perfectly satisfy his sexual needs and have sex as much as he wants to and do all the work in bed, then gets surprised when her low sex drive that made her so sexless before she met him continues in the relationship. I just came here to say the …	/r/PurplePillDebate	30/01/24 01:18 PM
2	does social proofing on attraction show how women have lower levels of free will or independent thought? At the same time I can't help but wonder if this strategy does more harm than good for women (not that it can be changed, as I know it's all subconscious). I believe a guy who projects not caring about other women, about attracting them, feelings secure and content, is: Already in a relationship. - You are now attracted to someone taken. He may cheat on his wife/girlfriend with you. For you it still sucks. Is not that into you. - He projects the Idgaf attitude because he genuinely doesn't give t…	/r/PurplePillDebate	24/01/24 03:48 PM
2	does social proofing on attraction show how women have lower levels of free will or independent thought? I think you are right. I went to the gym for about 4 years with a trainer. The trainer always had around 4-5 students simultaneously at the same time. Majority were always girls. I always went at the same hour every day so it was always the same 4-5 other people. We always befriended each other / chatted etc. At no point was I hitting on any of the girls though, just friendly chatter etc. The last 1 year while I was there I was in a relationship (the initial 3 I was single) with someone not from…	/r/PurplePillDebate	24/01/24 03:35 PM
3	does social proofing on attraction show how women have lower levels of free will or independent thought? I don't disagree. Desperation or even sharing feelings too strongly / too soon is never a good indicator. And honestly, rightly so. It's not possible for anyone to be THAT into you or to love you THAT much that quick. It's always a red flag. The guy's either trying to manipulate you, is genuinely low value/desperate or may even have psychological issues.	/r/PurplePillDebate	24/01/24 01:24 PM
1	does social proofing on attraction show how women have lower levels of free will or independent thought? Yeah it's easier said than done even if you did have many relationships. Once you are into someone you won't be able to stay in the idgaf frame all the time. Most of the time when the guy manages to maintain the Idgaf attitude it's really just because he isn't that into the girl to begin with. Just uses her for sex, fakes the relationship etc.	/r/PurplePillDebate	24/01/24 01:17 PM
2	does social proofing on attraction show how women have lower levels of free will or independent thought? I think you are right. When it comes to me it's not necessarily the confidence that's portrayed but more like a kind of idgaf attitude. Like, I know I have zero expectations from that girl so I don't care how I come across (not suggesting here being a dick). Like, I sincerely don't care if she likes me or not as I'm not interested anyway. Which is a bit ironic, because this then makes her attracted to me. To someone who isn't interested in her at all.	/r/PurplePillDebate	24/01/24 01:03 PM
2	does social proofing on attraction show how women have lower levels of free will or independent thought? I'm not sure how to answer your question but want to just comment that I have experienced this so many times. Be single and women don't seem to be that interested etc. then when in a relationship the exact same women seem to be attracted, noticing them checking me out, seeking my attention, hitting me up etc. Like, I'm literally the exact same person. Absolutely nothing has changed. I don't look better, I am not a better or more interesting person. But before I was "meh" to them and now they can…	/r/PurplePillDebate	24/01/24 12:20 PM
5	What do you think is the cause for this to happen? Let's assume everything in your story is 100% true: Could be because life is more about just "providing" and the rat race? Maybe she was (rightfully) expecting also some excitement in her life, her husband to also be there for her emotionally, show affection toward her and not just 100% focus on work and providing. That's like living life as a robot. So, yes, it's because she got "bored", in a sense. But turn this story around and any husband would feel the same in the exact same situation. Wife…	/r/PurplePillDebate	22/01/24 09:21 AM
2	How can men prevent sexless, transactional or “bait & switch” marriages or long term relationships? Actually something more practical: their willingness to stand by you when things aren't going well. Be accepting and understanding of some of your flaws (but not being a pushover obv.) and being willing to work with you in conflict / issues. From my personal experiences: Relationship where my partner was feigning it: when it got to a rougher spot / I had a bad day / etc. they didn't seem enthusiastic at all to offer support. Like, giving the vibes of "I didn't sign up for this, I'm only here for…	/r/PurplePillDebate	19/01/24 06:46 PM
2	How can men prevent sexless, transactional or “bait & switch” marriages or long term relationships? Yeah I wish I could give you more concrete advice. You kinda just "know" after having experienced both sides. It feels different when someone is actually into you. Dunno.. seems more genuine, there is a kind of "spark" to it. - Again, I know this isn't saying much.	/r/PurplePillDebate	19/01/24 06:27 PM
–	Women consistently rate themselves as being far more attractive than they are, and despite what people here say men rarely do this Yup, seen this time and time again. Average girl dates average guy. Is actually highly into him / into that type of guy. Somehow ends up having a hookup / Tinder matches with 8/10-10/10 guy(s) who obviously only were interested in a quick nut. Doesn't matter. This now makes her feel she's better and deserves better than the guys she's been (and actually attracted to) before. She now ignores all the "normal" guys and only ever considers the top guys - cycle of pump and dump and (self-inflicted) e…	/r/PurplePillDebate	19/01/24 05:59 PM
5	How can men prevent sexless, transactional or “bait & switch” marriages or long term relationships? I think the only way to be able to detect this is to have had experience with both scenarios. I've been in relationships where the girl absolutely undoubtedly was into me. Also in some where it was feigned / forced. At the time I didn't know which was which. Only now in hindsight with experience. Now you just simply "know" when it's legit and not faked.	/r/PurplePillDebate	19/01/24 01:54 PM
1	How do you explain the phenomenon of ‘high quality’ falling for absolute dregs? > Although I still find it wild how such women will still refuse to even entertain the interest from most guys who are if anything better than the ones they end up falling for. I had a chat with a woman like this. Her explanation was that she felt that being with a guy like that: confident, always cheery, exciting, positive - was because she thought that would balance her out (she was depressed, anxious, low self-esteem). Obviously it ended the way you'd expect: guy being liar, cheater, manipula…	/r/PurplePillDebate	19/01/24 10:09 AM
2	How do you explain the phenomenon of ‘high quality’ falling for absolute dregs? Can be any place. Dating apps, parties, bars, work, etc. If on apps, most people don't exchange their life stories there. Its just flirting, banter, etc. to get the other to agree to meet. Then once on the date those guys win by charisma, confidence, charm and looks. Girl gets the tingles / feelz from those and gets emotionally invested and now will make up all kinds of excuses and rationalisations to overlook the bad stuff.	/r/PurplePillDebate	19/01/24 10:03 AM
1	How do you explain the phenomenon of ‘high quality’ falling for absolute dregs? Many mentioned it before: because attraction isn't rational, it's emotional. They probably see some traits in those men that are attractive: looks, charisma, charm, confidence, non-neediness, etc. Some women with more life experience and who have better emotional control can "override" these emotions though logic and reason ("sure, he seems very attractive but I know for a fact he's not relationship material, s I'll pass"). But many do not have either the experience nor emotional maturity, or se…	/r/PurplePillDebate	19/01/24 09:55 AM
13	Is the problem with modern dating simply due to options and economics? I don't think this is accurate. I knew many women who dated and were highly attracted to more "normal" looking guys. Up until the point they decided to try Tinder and started to get attention from the top-looking guys. Didn't matter that all those guys only wanted sex and pump and dump, just the fact that they got the taste of attention from those guys, it was now not possible anymore for those girls to ever go back to liking the more "normal" guys. And thus the endless cycle of pump and dump an…	/r/PurplePillDebate	14/01/24 01:02 PM
–	Is the problem with modern dating simply due to options and economics? Yes, I think this is exactly the "problem". Women get matches / attention from a very large number of men from all over the looks spectrum (men swipe right on anyone). Given the large number of options naturally they choose the top (you have to select somehow, after all). As such, now these top men in turn also get a lot of matches and options. Most such men are only interested in sex / hookup, so they give attention to all girls that match with them. They don't necessarily have to even like the…	/r/PurplePillDebate	14/01/24 09:04 AM