askcafer Archive

Upvotes	Title	Category	Author	Subreddit	Date (UTC)

Upvotes	Comment on	Subreddit	Date (UTC)
2	Who told men that being nice will get them laid? Your comment really resonates with me and I'm glad that other people think this way. Lately I've been thinking about how we're told to play hard to get to increase our desirability and deliberately time responses so that we appear busy even when we're not. I am very reliable and consistent in my communication especially when someone is important to me - I don't respond instantly every time but I always respond within a reasonable time frame. I've been stressed thinking that this will make me app…	/r/PurplePillDebate	04/11/23 10:48 PM
7	Weaponized incompetence is a form of mental abuse. Couple's therapy can actually be extremely harmful and reinforce abusive behavior - I didn't realize this until I read Why Does He Do That by Lundy Bancroft.	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	05/10/21 12:29 PM
7	Following hot girls on instagram - red flag? So true, my narc ex did stuff like this all the time. Unfortunately being sweet/thoughtful and severely abusive aren't mutually exclusive.	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	10/09/21 01:13 PM
5	Should I Stay or Should I Go by Lundy Bancroft Same! I’m glad I’m not the only one he feels this way. Some parts of her book “Should I Stay or Should I Go” actually made me feel worse. Sometimes I feel like she sympathizes with the narcissist which is very inappropriate when dealing with abuse victims.	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	23/08/21 12:52 PM
18	I have NEVER regretted dropping a man the moment he waves his first red flag. I have ALWAYS regretted giving them a second chance because it’s never just one red flag. So true, just like toddlers test boundaries to see what they can get away with!	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	18/08/21 07:03 PM
44	Every woman should read the book Why Does He Do That by Lundy Bancroft Totally agreed, I read it at 24 and it may not have resonated with me nearly as much as a teenager because I hadn't yet encountered those types of situations. So glad it saved you too!	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	14/08/21 04:01 PM
232	Every woman should read the book Why Does He Do That by Lundy Bancroft This book changed my life - it really should be required reading for teenage girls. It's amazing (and horrifying) how virtually all abusers use the same tactics and are all basically impossible to rehabilitate. Leave at the first sign of abuse and save yourself years of misery!	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	14/08/21 03:51 PM
61	AITA, boys shouts at girlfriend, girl moves out the next day Well said, guys who criticize you "for your own good" are extremely bad news.	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	06/08/21 03:36 PM
5	Think I might be potentially getting a slow fade/ghost. Is this a good text to send? That's not necessarily true. The discard phase can often look very similar to this situation where they suddenly pull away and completely withdraw attention/affection.	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	18/11/19 10:50 PM
2	relevant book thread! Genuinely life-changing. This book helped me leave a severely abusive long term relationship, something I never thought possible. The author‘s knowledge of the behaviour and thought patterns of abusers is incredibly accurate - the whole book basically described exactly what I was experiencing. It was so freeing and validating. One of the important take-aways from his work with abusers is that rehabilitation is so unlikely - abusers very rarely change. This gave me the push to stop hoping things …	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	14/11/19 02:13 PM