TheRedArchive

~ archived since 2018 ~

attitude_adjustment Archive

View 2 posts and 35 comments by attitude_adjustment on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
Search in:
In subreddits:
More
Filter by year/month:
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
1

Question on the babysitting comment: my bf recently said he was going out to a party but wanted to go alone so he could spend time with his friends visiting from out of town without having to "babysit" me. I didn't say anything but I was kind of hurt he would say that about me, especially because I've always held my own very well at the parties we go to. One time early on even he was upset that I wasn't paying enough attention to him when my own friend from out of town was visiting. I take it he…
/r/RedPillWomen26/03/16 03:52 AM
2

Is it possible for you to just ask him what he wants? "Hey at these artsy things are you most comfortable with me by your side or do you need space to network?"
/r/RedPillWomen26/03/16 03:47 AM
1

I guess my whole post was that I feel I am in fact way more concerned about his company and less so about the activity. I'd rather him not feel pressured to take me to an activity he doesn't want to be at and instead spend time where he can be more comfortable. I don't get disappointed he's not into whatever it is, I get disappointed that he straight up won't participate despite acting like he would in the days leading up to it. I get disappointed that I thought we were doing an activity togethe…
/r/RedPillWomen26/03/16 03:29 AM
2

I think this could definitely be a good explanation for what's going on. He definitely can be overwhelmed. I think having a back up "hey if you'd rather do xxx instead lets do that" would be a perfect way to at least present him an easy out if he needs it.
/r/RedPillWomen26/03/16 03:23 AM
1

Just to add onto what /u/Kittenkajira said, it's also simply unattractive to be "that" girl with all of the dude friends and even though guys won't admit it, it's problematic. Maybe less so if these guys are straight nerds but even then I'd tread very lightly.
/r/RedPillWomen24/03/16 12:39 AM
1

Spot on. Someone always wants something...and it is always the one with lower smv, but at least if they are divergent there is a better chance something won't happen (but I can think of a few instances where it could...like the guy has higher smv but his gf has been refusing sex so he uses his "friend" for easy sex) whereas similar Smvs is truly a recipe for disaster
/r/RedPillWomen24/03/16 12:35 AM
2

I feel like presenting yourself in a rpw way encourages your current friends to be more like that. I have three really good girlfriends I've known since high school and we all went through our college/feminist/guys-are-horndogs/jerks stage and now we are all very mature women, imo. We don't bash on our bfs and we understand that girls nights out are not going out nights like we used to do in college but are rather low key with a fun crafty activity. I also got really lucky in that my roommate (w…
/r/RedPillWomen24/03/16 12:29 AM
1

He gets excited beforehand but then on the day of he's pouting around and wants to leave early. If he's having fun watching me do stuff without him he's not showing it at all. :/
/r/RedPillWomen23/03/16 10:08 PM
1

I think it's sort of the opposite problem where I start pushing enthusiasm hoping he is going to catch it. I don't really go in anxious; rather, he hypes it up during the week beforehand (so I get excited to spend a day having fun) and then it's not until the day of and we're about to go in where I start getting weird vibes from him and at that point I'm trying to be extra cheerful but then feel sad that he'd rather watch me drink, play games, go on rides, whatever. I know he has a bit of social…
/r/RedPillWomen23/03/16 10:04 PM
1

Honestly I don't think I'm a mood mystery but maybe he thinks I am? I'm am usually excited about everything we do together and I only end up disappointed when he gets in one of his moods and doesn't want to socialize/participate in whatever and looks tense
/r/RedPillWomen23/03/16 10:01 PM
1

I think you're spot on!! Now I just need to learn how to do that
/r/RedPillWomen23/03/16 09:59 PM
2

Be sure you're not acting as though you expect your SO to take you out places. Are you clearly acting bored with netflix nights? Etc. Thank you for pointing this out. I don't think I have been but it's certainly possible I am so I'll try to be more self-aware. Thank you for your comment!
/r/RedPillWomen23/03/16 01:47 AM
1

emphasize how much you enjoy having fun together. Hmm I think you're right. I'll try and focus on this more. Thank you!!
/r/RedPillWomen23/03/16 01:46 AM
1

Honestly I feel like he's most uncomfortable when it's something that's not routine- I feel best accepting "tried and true" activities like the same bars, etc. because I know he will enjoy them. But thank you for your input.
/r/RedPillWomen23/03/16 01:45 AM
2

I can't believe I wasn't subscribed. Thank you!!! I must have hit it accidentally because I know I could up vote before.
/r/RedPillWomen23/03/16 12:20 AM
2

Your post is perfect because it comes right at a time that I have deep cleaned my car and vowed to never let it get back to the way it was. I always had a clean car in high school and college but when I started working full time and hanging out/spending the night with my bf all the time it quickly got cluttered with gym clothes, backup outfits, and random clutter until last week I took a look around and couldn't believe myself. I took everything out, took it to the car wash, got the deepest clea…
/r/RedPillWomen22/03/16 11:22 PM
2

If I'm so keen on control I can use that desire to simply control myself ;) Yessss! I love this
/r/RedPillWomen22/03/16 11:11 PM
1

I can't find the upload button on my iPad but I agree here! It's not a priority to him, but if it's such a big deal to op she should just call maintenance and have them do it one afternoon. If her husband actually gets upset (which I doubt he will) she can say that it didn't seem like it would be a big deal and that she wanted to take something off of his plate for him.
/r/RedPillWomen22/03/16 11:05 PM
1

My boyfriend isn't all that in to Valentine's day but I am so I am definitely going to make him a home-made macaroni Valentine to give him! We actually talked about Valentine's day this morning and he said "should I be planning something? I have no idea what would be nice" so I said I would handle it if he wanted me to and all he has to do is show up. He thought that was a good idea since I care more about it anyway. We agreed to restaurants that are pretty close by and he wants me to adhere to …
/r/RedPillWomen29/01/16 05:43 PM
2

I would ultimately like a family and marriage would be a required pre-requisite for that. I flip flop on whether I'd want to get married as soon as I can or later before having kids (I'm talking like just under 30). On the one hand, if you're with the right person, I see no reason to wait. At the same time, if you're very confident you are going to be with this person forever, I see no reason to rush to combine finances until absolutely necessary- that is, to start a family. My dream would be fi…
/r/RedPillWomen21/01/16 10:36 PM
1

Completely agree that he should be the one addressing it. It's not really my place. We were just going over what would be a good approach and he was just blown away at how "offensive" my woman-speak was.
/r/RedPillWomen21/01/16 10:08 PM
2

I mean if he doesn't want me there then I'd really rather not be there. I'm straight up not going to go over if he doesn't care whether or not I'm there. I don't want to feel like I'm forcing him to hang out with me. I just do not like the attitude of "I really couldn't care whether or not you come over" because at that point...it's like why bother? He should find someone who he genuinely wants to see. It hurts my feelings that seeing him is literally the most exciting part of my day and I am al…
/r/RedPillWomen21/01/16 05:26 PM
1

I mean I had no idea that's how I was coming off. It's not that I thought he was incapable it's more that I wanted him to feel like he could save face under the excuse that he hadn't noticed the smell (because honestly he probably didn't- he lives there and he's probably used to it) and that's why he hadn't fixed it so it's frustrating that my way of trying to not be offensive is actually more offensive.
/r/RedPillWomen21/01/16 05:22 PM
1

The pattern I see is that he communicates more subtly, by implication, and you communicate more by explicitly saying things. Yes I agree Even his approach with the dog, while abrupt, gives the owner more feeling that they can save face; when you lay the whole thing out you're showing that you've thought about it a lot. Hmm you're right. The guy could easily say "oh yeah someone smelly was here last night" or something. I didn't even think about that. I guess to me it's just so obvious that it's …
/r/RedPillWomen21/01/16 05:13 PM
2

So I am American with actually pretty chill parents. I was allowed to drink in high school, having boyfriends meet my parents was never a formal ordeal, etc. If context matters I always got straight As, had extra curriculars, went to a really prestigious college, etc. My boyfriend is first generation and his parents are from random countries. His mother is from Germany and came here for college. His step-dad (who pretty much raised him from the time he could remember) is from the middle east and…
/r/RedPillWomen21/01/16 04:28 PM
2

I guess I feel like most of the time I am actually the one chasing and so I don't like it when I feel like he expects me to always initiate. I'm not saying I never say "hey do you want to hang out" because I very often do. I am just not at the point where I can comfortably say "hey do you want to hang out at your house" because it's his house. In fact, usually I am upset because I will ask to hang out and he doesn't want to say yes until the last minute- although we do usually end up hanging out…
/r/RedPillWomen21/01/16 04:11 PM
1

As for the issue with your friend- dont go to his house anymore. Its simple. I get what youre going for but its overkill and its going to offend or embarass him. Your boyfriends response will do the same. Just leave it alone, its not your problem. Sorry this wasn't ever an issue it was more an example of our different styles in communicating. I wanted to show you guys what kind of communication my bf found to be offensive. I'll definitely try to relax a little.
/r/RedPillWomen21/01/16 04:06 PM
1

Being able to understand women is not a natural state for men, that is why there is a red pill in the first place. Lol true
/r/RedPillWomen21/01/16 04:01 PM
1

the fullbetapusspod won't say something to you, he will just take it and even resent you for it, which doesn't make for a good relationship. hmm thank for you the distinction. I think I get it now. He definitely knows that he tends to push people away and distance himself and we've talked about it before. I think both of us need reassurance from each other but it's hard to provide reassurance when you feel like you're the one who needs it. He's admit I make him insecure at times and I feel that …
/r/RedPillWomen20/01/16 09:38 PM
2

Yes thank you. I guess it was just surprising to me that he found what I wrote to be offensive. He's going to have to realize I don't communicate like a man :/
/r/RedPillWomen20/01/16 09:24 PM
1

Hmm I'll have to think about this. I think you're definitely right in that he wants me to decide on my own to initiate being with him and default to his needs, and that it is difficult because he doesn't explain what those needs are (whether he needs space or wants to see me, etc) but I think I do just need to assume he wants to see me, act on that, and he'll correct me if I'm wrong. There are definitely other things he does that isn't controlling, but shows that he wants to be the one in charge…
/r/RedPillWomen20/01/16 09:20 PM
1

It shouldn't have to be delivered in iambic pentameter prose in order for you to understand that he wants you there. Lol. Ok fair enough. Yeah I think the bigger issue here is I need to be okay with getting comfortable and not look down on it as a bad thing. I've never been in a relationship that was this intense- we literally hang out every single day! I guess the thing I constantly think about is that we're not married, and I don't want to be giving him the comforts a husband would receive fro…
/r/RedPillWomen20/01/16 08:59 PM
2

Thank you. Yeah it's exactly what I want. I guess it just feels weird because he's not outwardly showy with his affection, and stressed (and stressed and stressed) that he wanted to take things super slow. But yeah. It is what I want. I'll try and just relax a little maybe.
/r/RedPillWomen20/01/16 08:55 PM
2

but STU-FU was actually the problem during the work situation. He wanted me to directly ask "Can I bring my stuff over there" and thought the fact that I didn't meant I was disinterested, and I never would have known that had I not brought it up in the first place EDIT: stufu is also contrary to what he wants with problems - he says he wants me to call out smaller things and not wait until something is a huge or repated issue
/r/RedPillWomen20/01/16 08:44 PM
2

The phone thing I'm definitely doing now. You're right- he's my man and not my friend. The invitation thing I'll keep in mind. Thank you. I mean the thing is, I don't really think the "I don't want to impose" is total BS because I sincerely do not want to intrude on his space, especially if he says something "well it doesn't matter to me." Am I just being too sensitive here? With the work thing, I get where he was going with his plans. I wasn't offended that he made other plans, I was offended t…
/r/RedPillWomen20/01/16 08:42 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

© TheRedArchive 2026. All rights reserved.
created by /u/dream-hunter