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avoiding_a_stalker Archive

View 0 posts and 519 comments by avoiding_a_stalker on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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2

They don't need to make as much or more than me but they need to have a financial plan and otherwise be a good partner. If I did make enough to support a household, I'd be happy to fully financially support my partner if they contributed to our lives in other ways. Financial habits are more important to me than income. Someone who knows how to live frugally and is willing to work to increase their income if needed is a better financial partner than someone who makes a ton of money and has a ton …
/r/PurplePillDebate08/06/25 06:48 AM
2

I've gone on quite a few dates with men who worked in the trades, though I don't think I dated any long-term (beyond a few weeks, if that). Typically, we didn't align on things that were important to one/both of us, so it didn't work out (politics, vaccines, household labour divisions, finances, etc). I ran into a few that wanted me to eventually be a SAHP, even though I had the larger salary and we were unlikely to be able to maintain a QoL that would work for us on just their salaries (not to …
/r/PurplePillDebate07/05/25 07:32 PM
23

Super turned off. I'd assume he doesn't really understand consent. Consent has to be ongoing so I'd feel like he'd take the form as consent to stealth me, treat me poorly, or take sex in a direction I'm not comfortable with. Unless he plans to record the entire interaction to prove the consent was ongoing, it doesn't prove that there was ongoing consent. What it does do is give him permission to treat me poorly. So I'm out. Here's a question for you: As much as men are being afraid of being fals…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/25 11:46 PM
–

It’s not super uncommon. I’ve been in relationships with two men that started balding in their early 20s (heavily reversed hairline by 24, probably started balding between 18-21). That’s not to say it’s super common but it’s not unheard of. I also don’t get it as a revenge fantasy. It’s just hair and I don’t really get the big deal. To each their own but that’s not really something I consider when choosing a partner
/r/PurplePillDebate09/05/24 05:36 PM
1

It depends on how long we’ve been together. If it’s not a serious relationship (I.e we’re basically roommates that have sex), it’s fine. If we’re life partners, I wouldn’t be okay with it and I’d expect expenses to be split proportionally. Once we’re married, I’d expect to be combining all finances anyways so it’s one step below. It’s less a “doesn’t love me enough” and more an equity thing for me. If you have the means to be generous with the people you care about, you should be. If you’re bett…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/09/23 12:15 PM
1

Half my previous partners were 5’4 or shorter so I obviously don’t care very much
/r/PurplePillDebate10/09/23 12:27 AM
3

I generally prefer my partner be educated but that doesn’t necessarily have to be formal; if they’re intelligent and know tons about whatever subject because they studied on their own time or whatever, it’s all good. However, for most men, that equates to a formal education
/r/PurplePillDebate10/09/23 12:22 AM
5

I mean, depends on what you qualify as trad behaviour. I expect both of us to initiate sex; I think the first time I had sex with my last partner, I explicitly told them I was interested and wanted to have sex and he initiated the first kiss afterwards. In other relationships, I’ve initiated it after they’ve made clear they were interested. In regards to paying, I pay for about 80% of my first dates (for both myself and my partner), though occasionally the guy pays. Usually we alternate after th…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/09/23 12:20 AM
–

A. One sided open relationships create toxic power imbalances. If it was entirely open, I’d be happy but none of that bs
/r/PurplePillDebate16/07/23 06:26 AM
0

If it were because men today treated women with more respect, absolutely, but other statistics tell us that’s not true. Cases of men raping women have increased by 250% in the same time period. However, women can now have their own jobs, bank accounts, houses, and don’t need to rely on male partners to survive so yes, domestic abuse rates have dropped
/r/PurplePillDebate15/07/23 05:55 PM
15

No, they didn't. They made less than we do now. But the cost of living was way cheaper. Your average factory worker could afford a decent house, car, and support a wife and kids on his salary alone. That same job today would barely be a livable wage for a single person. The average wages did not scale to inflation. Men did provide more economically. Wholly agree that their inability to do so now is on the economy and not on them as individuals but they did, in relative terms, provide more than m…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/07/23 01:35 PM
37

Not everyone wants those things in a partner, or the male equivalents, but just based on your own metrics, a few arguments: - Men in the 1950s were significantly more physically attractive. The rate of overweight men was 30% lower and the rate for obese men was also 30% lower. More men played sports and had physical hobbies - Men in the 1950s provided more economically. They could support an entire household on their job. They bought houses, cars, things for their kids and wife, on their income.…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/07/23 01:07 PM
21

Getting the ick isn’t exactly intentional. Yes, sometimes it’s rooted in problematic cultural norms but sometimes it’s a pretty valid response to a situation that’s a bit of a turnoff. It happens to everyone, men and women. It’s not the be all end all and I’d almost argue it creates more security in relationships if dealt with right. The most secure I’ve ever felt in a relationship was not when my partner acted like they loved all of me but when they recognized I was a flawed human being and cho…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/07/23 11:55 PM
–

It shouldn’t be illegal to be creepy but it should be illegal to harass or assault people. Feel free to cold approach; I might be annoyed if you asked at a bad time but whatever. If you don’t accept it when I say no, harass me, grab me, or stalk me, I’ll lose it
/r/PurplePillDebate13/07/23 09:53 PM
5

I think the majority of sexual relationships are transactional but not in the way you seem to think. When I’m having sex, I’m working hard to make my partner feel good. I have the expectation that they will also care about me enjoying myself and work to make me feel good. So yes, in that sense, it is transactional; I’m expecting something for what I’m putting in. Do I think sex has to do with money? Not for most of us. I’d say about half of the guys I’ve slept with didn’t really have money and n…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/07/23 04:46 AM
–

It’s not weird. I’m not going to say she’s obligated to but it’s not at all weird
/r/PurplePillDebate13/07/23 12:30 AM
–

It’s been okay. Mostly consists of online dating which has worked a few times for me but rarely. Usually don’t really have the same interests as the people I meet, which can be rough. It’s a bit of both? I don’t interact well with most of my peer group and have yet to find the subset of them that I would get along with. There are a few but they’re few and far between. That’s in part just because I don’t fully feel like I understand social interaction and in larger part due to my work life and la…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/07/23 12:25 AM
1

Then absolutely B
/r/PurplePillDebate13/07/23 12:14 AM
1

Define not my preferred type at all. Do I still find them relatively attractive or do they not physically get me going at all? Probably none of the above. I've done A and it's not a good time. I don't think I could do someone I didn't find even remotely attractive. C is just fine but why do fine when I could be single? The person I was happiest with was closest to B but they were actually fairly attractive (i.e. naturally a 5 but they were fit - not muscular but they worked out once or twice a w…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/07/23 10:21 PM
8

Yes: https://realitycalc.com
/r/PurplePillDebate11/03/23 11:24 AM
1

My mother spent her life in an abusive marriage because she didn’t have the means to leave. My father was a wonderful man for years until he experienced a fair bit of trauma that screwed him up, so it wasn’t really like she could have known better, either. She made my brother and I promise that we’d make sure we always had the means to take care of ourselves and each other so we wouldn’t end up in the same situation. Obviously, if there’s good reason for it (illness, job loss, bereavement, etc),…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/03/23 12:32 PM
1

Men can do whatever the heck they want to do as long as they're not harming anyone, just as anyone else can. Like the vast majority of things on social media, it's engineered to get likes and views. People can post what they want; I can think it's stupid and ignore it, just like you can
/r/PurplePillDebate09/03/23 10:03 PM
7

We don’t share finances so it’s a non-issue but to answer your question, Id have issues with the lack of transparency. I have no issues with my partner wanting a separate account as a backup plan (I think it’s smart) but I’d want to know about it (just that it exists - I don’t care how much he puts in it as long as it doesn’t affect our shared goals). My partner also knows that I have no plans to stop working and that I also keep a separate savings account because I prefer not to be financially …
/r/PurplePillDebate09/03/23 09:58 PM
1

I outearned my first 3 partners and my current partner and I earn about the same amount (the first year, I earned more (he was unemployed when we started dating); the second, he earned more; last year, I earned more; this year, he’ll earn more; the next few years after that, I probably will). Neither of us have particularly good benefits, we split all expenses proportionally to our income. That being said, when we’re both working, we earn within 10k of each other, though we have volatile jobs so…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/23 12:07 AM
2

Yep. The nlog is basically a copy-paste of all the other nlogs. In reality, very few people are entirely unique; putting down other people to act like you are isn’t cool
/r/PurplePillDebate22/01/23 03:16 AM
7

Any sort of “not like other girls” stereotype. I don’t like the idea that we have to tear each other down to feel better about ourselves. There are lots of them, depending on who you ask: “I’m a virgin, not like other girls,” “I’m not high maintenance, unlike other girls,” etc. I’m also personally not into the SAHM with a couple of kids for myself. It works great for others, im sure, but it’s not for me. I’m also not into the “good girl,” being submissive, agreeable, etc.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/01/23 11:54 PM
4

Physically: Between 4’10 and 5’8 (I’m 5’2), slim and athletic (lean but not muscular, beanpole is okay too). Tasteful tattoos are cool but not required. Straight teeth, cute smile, hair that’s at least long enough to run my fingers through. Face can be either traditionally masculine or feminine; they’re both attractive. Sexually: Dominant, kinky, larger side of average penis, enough kink experience to know what they’re doing and vaguely how to make a woman cum. Personality: kind, open minded, li…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/01/23 04:05 PM
1

There’s nothing wrong with sleeping around just like there’s nothing wrong with staying celibate. There are tons of reasons as to why someone might choose to or not to have sex, beyond just “they’ve got a bad personality so they sleep around”. If your values don’t align, they’re probably not a good partner for you. Move on
/r/PurplePillDebate21/01/23 01:48 PM
1

Avoiding dates (I.e “I’m busy” and not offering to reschedule at all - if I’m interested, I’ll propose a different time), “I’m not looking to date right now”, “I realized I need to work on myself”, “I don’t think it’s a good fit”, taking ages to reply, not making an effort to reach out, responding “maybe or we’ll see” to proposed plans, im sure there are others. I’m pretty clear when I like someone so if I’m lukewarm, I’m usually not interested
/r/PurplePillDebate21/01/23 12:12 PM
3

C. I spent 3.5 hours on a bus (would’ve been a 2 hour drive but I didn’t have my own car at that point) to see my current partner for the first time. 10/10 worth it Edit: I also did long distance for a while and flew to another country for another partner but we had known each other for a while by that point
/r/PurplePillDebate19/01/23 08:58 PM
1

I don’t think it’s a sign of lack of interest; it could be a sign of a lot of things. I think a lack of engagement if I approach/start a conversation is a lack of interest
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/23 12:43 AM
8

It depends on why they are. If they recently moved, got a more demanding job, got a puppy that monopolizes their time, etc, I don’t really care. I am concerned about them having decent social skills and being able to function well in society (beyond just holding down a job). I also be concerned about being their only social outlet. I’d prefer that they’ve either had a few close friends before (if it’s a life circumstance - moving, new job, etc) or that they’ve got a few close friends now. When l…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/01/23 11:21 AM
1

I think I care less about attractiveness inequality than average on this sub but personally, I care a fair bit about wealth inequality, racial and ethnic inequality, sex inequality (outside of dating), and opportunity inequality. I’m less passionate about intellectual inequality but that’s a flaw I’m working on
/r/PurplePillDebate15/01/23 10:43 PM
1

Sure but that doesn’t mean it’s acceptable for anyone. I think the vast majority of people see emotional instability as undesirable; some men just may not care
/r/PurplePillDebate15/01/23 10:29 PM
1

I definitely don’t live anywhere with NYC prices, thankfully, but I do live downtown in what we consider a fairly expensive city. I did just do a price comparison in another comment but it seems I’m lucky I live in an area with local options that tend to be cheaper. At the Starbucks across the street, yes, a black coffee is about $3.50 and a small latte is about $6 but my favourite cafe is about half that price. Mini golf is $20 right within the city but 20 minutes outside the core, it’s $8-$10.…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/01/23 10:06 PM
1

As a quick comparison: A small blizzard here is $5.99 A McDonalds meal is between $12.50 and $15.50 A small drink at Starbucks is $5.75 Rent for a 395sqft studio apartment downtown is about $1900 incl utilities but without parking That seems about on par with what you described but feel free to correct me if I’m wrong. I might be lucky in that I have cheaper local restaurants near me but the local cafe chain near me has small mint tea for $3.50 and my favourite cafe has large hot chocolates for …
/r/PurplePillDebate15/01/23 09:57 PM
2

It’s a red flag for anyone. Emotional stability is attractive
/r/PurplePillDebate15/01/23 07:26 PM
1

Coffee typically runs about $3.5-$4 a cup at a decent cafe. Ice cream runs about $4.5-$5 a cone. My first date with my current partner was just a walk to the dog park and a movie at his place, which was free. Walks in the park are free (maybe $5 of feed for the ducks). Ice skating at my local rink is $4/person if you have skates. Most of my first dates last about an hour (maybe 90 minutes if it’s going really well) and are between meals so we’re just grabbing a snack, if anything. Second dates t…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/01/23 06:31 PM
–

I’d actually argue to a large extent, you’re not wrong. Two emotionally mature, healthy adults can form a lifelong relationship and have it be successful. You don’t necessarily need to find someone attractive to be able to do that. I think it’s more a question of whether or not you find someone worth the time and effort that takes. If you don’t find them sexually/physically/emotionally attractive, is it worth the effort? If you don’t want the same lifestyles, I’d it worth the compromise? Does it…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/01/23 04:51 PM
–

I wouldn’t say most short men satisfy women’s personality standards. In my experience, it seems to be about the same percentage of taller guys. Some taller or more attractive guys are douchebags because they never had to develop a personality just like some shorter or less attractive guys are douchebags because they’re insecure. There are decent guys in both groups and I’m not sure it correlates much with height (although if you’re looking for career/financial success, I believe there is a corre…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/01/23 03:19 PM
4

It’s not who ends up paying that I care about; it’s the effort. I’ve never gone on a first date where the other person offered to pay and I just said “oh, thanks.” Heck, I don’t think I’ve ever gone on a first date where the other person paid without wrestling me for the bill. I want to date people with the same mindset. I have a personal distaste for splitting the bill unless it’s a group outing (4+ people). There’s nothing inherently selfish about/wrong with it but it lacks the generosity I fe…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/01/23 02:25 PM
4

Neither. I think most of us would rather remain single
/r/PurplePillDebate15/01/23 02:02 PM
3

It comes off as selfish (whether it’s a girl or guy doing it). I try to be generous within my means so I always offer to pick up the bill as a “I enjoyed your company, thank you for spending time with me,” even if we don’t see each other again. I want to be dating people with the same mindset so when they don’t really care to pick up the bill, it’s a turnoff. It also signals a cultural/lifestyle incompatibility. I grew up in a household with a lot of old-school hospitality that I enjoyed growing…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/01/23 01:54 PM
5

I don’t generally think it matters who pays if I’m not going to see them again. I’ll pay, you pay, we’ll split it, who really cares? I don’t plan on seeing you again anyways so the impact on the relationship is null and void. Doesn’t matter to me who pays. For context, I’ll always offer to pay but it does matter to me that the guy makes a genuine attempt to pay as well if I plan to continue seeing them. It’s a turnoff if they just go “oh, okay”
/r/PurplePillDebate15/01/23 11:31 AM
1

They’re different demographics of men. Typically, you’re going to attract people who like the energy you give off. In many cases, that’s someone who will be similar to yourself or is otherwise compatible (not necessarily in a good way - see people pleasures and abusers). If you’re not getting the type of person you want, you’re looking for the wrong people or giving off the wrong vibe. Edit: see all the threads of men asking the male equivalent of this question. The answer is pretty much the sam…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/01/23 08:52 PM
2

I prefer my partner feel like they can be honest with me (I’d have some concerns about the strength of our relationship if they felt otherwise) but I wouldn’t expect them to tell me upfront as it’s none of my business and I wouldn’t mind if it just never came up. None of it makes a difference to me. As long as they’ll get STI tested with me, I don’t care about their sexual history
/r/PurplePillDebate12/01/23 07:20 PM
0

It very well could be - I try to give people the benefit of the doubt as many people, especially if they had rough childhoods, develop those skills later than would be developmentally appropriate. That doesn’t mean they can’t or that they don’t; just that it typically happens later than expected. Anecdotally, I know quite a few people who didn’t really grow into themselves until their mid-late 20s but they turned out pretty much okay. Other people are just socially anxious/shy and don’t really g…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/01/23 12:28 AM
0

Pretty much. Past a certain point, being shy also indicates a lack of social skills (if you’re still shy into your late 30s/early 40s, im going to start having concerns). However, generally, it’s more a question of if they have the skills (or are likely to quickly develop the skills) needed to have a successful relationship more than what their current situation is.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/01/23 11:48 PM
3

I mean, there aren’t many of them around for the most part and many of them are already in relationships. The average person is, well, average, so you’re already eliminating about 85% of people who are roughly (within or below one SD) of average. And that’s assuming all of the top 15% aren’t overweight, which they more than likely are, old, bland, etc. So you’re really looking at fewer than 10% of women with that description. Even if you’re okay with “bland”, only 30% of US women are between age…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/01/23 07:09 PM
7

I think my concern there would be whether or not they’re well-adjusted. If they are, it doesn’t bother me. I say that because I’ve dated a few guys who hadn’t had a serious relationship by about 25 and they were all painfully awkward and not in an endearing way. Lots of sexual remarks despite me clearly stating it made me uncomfortable, pushing when I said no, not being able to hold a conversation, etc (they let me know they hadn’t dated in a while so I tried to give them the benefit of the doub…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/01/23 06:06 PM
1

I would not. I’m already seeing someone with quite a large age gap (7 years) and that’s pushing it. We’re already running into issues with being in different stages of life. I’ve very briefly dated people 9 and 11 years older than me and it wasn’t going to work out, in large part due to the age gap. If my current partner and I break up, I think my limit for the foreseeable future will be 6ish years either way (over 18, of course)
/r/PurplePillDebate11/01/23 11:02 AM
13

It depends on the reason. I think it starts to give me pause around 27-28 but it whether it’s a turnoff or just a slight cause of concern depends on the reason. If they’ve just been busy with other things (medical/law school, taking care of an I’ll family member, just wasn’t a priority, etc), it’s not a turnoff but it raises concerns. Other reasons can be a turnoff (I.e was in prison, was always in self-proclaimed toxic situationships, etc).
/r/PurplePillDebate11/01/23 10:27 AM
1

If we’re calling it a pre-date, A. However, I don’t consider that a date; I prefer a quick call or two to get a general idea of compatibility but it’s not a safe
/r/PurplePillDebate18/12/22 06:14 AM
7

I’m fairly young so generally, I’d much rather sleep with men in their 20s. However, none of those reference photos are attractive to me (in either age category). So if I have the option between the average 20 year old in my life (fits your description, just not the photos; not particularly fit, etc) and a fit 40 year old, I’d choose the former. If it’s specifically those reference photos, I’m not having sex.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/12/22 06:10 AM
1

Finding all those things are rare but finding most of them isn’t. I don’t think most women are looking for all of them and many are also looking for other traits as well. I look for some and also look for some traits that aren’t on that list. However, in regards to that list, my current partner has 11 of them (depending on your definition of the more subjective ones). Most guys I’ve dated have 10-12 of them. I think I’ve gone on dates with 2 men who had all 14 but we weren’t compatible for other…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/12/22 02:43 PM
1

If they’re being financially responsible about it, they’re not obsessed with the OF model, and they’ve got other hobbies (I.e they’re not spending hours a week on it), sure. I have no issues with ethical porn or sex work but if there are other related issues, those might be a dealbreaker
/r/PurplePillDebate14/12/22 12:53 PM
1

We wouldn’t be particularly compatible. Smoking and the lack of hobbies are dealbreakers for me
/r/PurplePillDebate14/12/22 12:48 PM
0

Significantly more attracted to my current partner than I was to my “bad boy” ex, even at the time.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/12/22 10:54 PM
5

The former? That’s not stupid; it’s a valid belief. The latter? Yeah, I’d say both misogyny and misandry are stupid
/r/PurplePillDebate12/12/22 12:52 AM
3

There are typically two reasons people care about body count: 1) They believe sex is something intimate that should be reserved for long-term relationships and they themselves haven’t had many sex partners; or 2) They believe that tons of sex is great if you’re a man but dirty and corrupting if you’re a women. Absolutely nothing wrong with the first. It’s a valid belief but we won’t be compatible. The second sounds like either insecurity or misogyny or having some sort of Madonna/whore complex a…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/12/22 12:47 AM
37

That’s about how most women I’ve met approach relationships. They’re fine with being single unless someone is adding to their lives. You’ve got pickme’s and pillow princesses that have high standards and also hate being alone just like you’ve got simps and cucks but for the most part, why date someone who isn’t adding anything to your life?
/r/PurplePillDebate12/12/22 12:14 AM
8

I mean, I don’t care that they won’t date me so much as I think it’s just stupid. You’re allowed to have your preferences, even if they’re stupid.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/12/22 12:12 AM
13

I don’t usually want to be supporting someone else (exceptions exist, but generally), just as I don’t want them supporting me. I don’t care if the man can support me but I prefer he be able to support himself and plan for his own future, as well as contribute to our family as necessary (just as I can).
/r/PurplePillDebate12/12/22 12:11 AM
2

Voice is a big one for me. A good voice instantly makes someone much more attractive
/r/PurplePillDebate11/12/22 11:20 PM
3

Depends on the woman, just like what men prefer in relationships depends on the man. Generally, communicate, be kind and attentive, and take care of them as you would hope they’d do for you. Trust, respect, loyalty, all those good traits are pretty important in all relationships but specifics depend on the person
/r/PurplePillDebate11/12/22 08:45 PM
1

Absolutely. I was privileged in that I had great sex education and grew up in a fairly sex-positive community (I.e do what you want with your body as long as it feels right to you and you’re not hurting anyone). For the most part, we all knew what we were getting into whether we chose to hookup or remain celibate or anything in between. That sort of culture and education is an important precursor to any sort of healthy sex life
/r/PurplePillDebate11/12/22 08:34 PM
1

It’s not typically something I ask about so much as I ask what they’re doing as a career. I want a partner who’s ambitious and productive but that doesn’t always get reflected in salary. Thankfully, I make a decent-enough salary so if they’ve been supporting themselves alright, I don’t have any issues covering anything we want to do as a couple. 40k also goes much further in a LCOL area; I live in a fairly expensive city where 40k is the minimum you need to get by (without funding retirement, bu…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/12/22 01:38 PM
1

Yes but lots aren’t. Most entry level jobs also only pay 40k so the dealbreaker at that level isn’t salary. Most research positions, teaching positions, jobs with the government, non-profit jobs, and apprenticeships also start at 40k
/r/PurplePillDebate09/12/22 01:34 PM
2

Depends on how decent they are with money. If they’re financially-literate and handle money well, I’d be comfortable with a partner that makes about 40k, which is just above minimum wage where I live (so full-time entry level into a career). Basically, as long as they’ve started a career that isn’t dead-end (that’s the big thing for me) and they’re making good decisions, it’s fine. That’s about 1/3rd of my income, give or take
/r/PurplePillDebate09/12/22 06:12 AM
1

Depends on their general attitude. If theirs was similar to mine (I.e wore masks, socially distanced, etc), I might be okay with it. Literature says it’s still a good idea to get vaccinated but things happen (if they haven’t had access to it for whatever reason, for example). It’s just indicative of values and attitudes that I consider important so it’s something I’d like to be compatible in
/r/PurplePillDebate08/12/22 10:07 PM
1

It’s mostly a gut feeling but there are some other things I look at: Relationship history, if I know (I.e does he seem to constantly be going through girls?) Kindness vs “niceness”; is he expecting something in return for being nice? Focus on sex; How often does it come up early on? How often is he trying to initiate things? Ideal relationship; do they focus on long-term or hookups? Ego; does he have a need to show off? Is he only thinking about himself? Unfortunately, I don’t think the distinct…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/12/22 10:04 PM
0

I imagine it depends on who you ask but to me, it means a sense of security and stability, both physically, emotionally, and financially. Physically, as in, if I’m ill / unable, someone who can physically take care of me and the household. Even small things like being able to open jars and reach shelves that I can’t falls into this category. Emotionally, I want to know that if I’m having a bad day, I can rely on them to compensate when I’m not at my best and support me through it. Financially, I…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/12/22 11:35 PM
14

If they’re unvaccinated because they can’t be vaccinated (medical reasons), sure. Otherwise, no. Im not going to tell anyone what to do with their bodies but I also don’t want to date someone who makes the choice not to get vaccinated
/r/PurplePillDebate07/12/22 06:46 PM
1

Yes there are exceptions but there are also other options. I’ve been in a relationship where I was clearly the more dominant one personality-wise and one where I was the more submissive one. My current relationship is pretty balanced and it works out well; in some ways, my partner can be pretty submissive but he’s also capable of holding his own when it comes to. It varies by person and relationship
/r/PurplePillDebate06/12/22 10:20 PM
1

Fancy second or third dates are way better. If I’m going on a first date with someone I’ve never met before, I want the first few to be low commitment so I can weed out poor fits. After that (or if I know them well), nicer dates are cute. I think my current partner and I did a dog park and walk for our first date and a semi-nice ramen place (maybe $20/person) for the second. Anything nicer than that happens maybe 3-4 times per year and not something I’d like to do early on
/r/PurplePillDebate06/12/22 09:54 PM
3

Part that, part needing a break if they haven’t found a relationship, yeah. I think I was on tinder for… 6 months before meeting my current partner? But it was on and off. If I didn’t find a date for a few weeks or I went on a few and they didn’t go well, I’d take a break so I was actually on the app for maybe 3 of those 6 months consistently? I don’t think I’d go back to OLD if my partner and I broke up, though
/r/PurplePillDebate06/12/22 09:51 PM
4

You can decide it’s no longer important to you, yes. I used to care about body count a ton when I was younger but at some point, you’ve got to decide whether or not it’s important enough to give up potentially good things for. Maybe it is, and that’s okay. For you, it sounds like it might not be. Do some thinking on why it’s so important to you and if this woman is worth letting it go
/r/PurplePillDebate05/12/22 09:55 PM
1

My understanding: The idea that 80% of women exclusively want the top 20% of men. Why I disagree? The majority of people end up partnered. Very, very few people end up single their entire lives. At any given moment, about 70% of people are in relationships. Even if you just look at ages 18-29 (so there’s no argument of “settling”), 50% of men are in committed relationships (excluding casual sex/fwb/etc) the vast majority of which are heterosexual and monogamous. Of those who aren’t, about half s…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/12/22 08:02 PM
2

Agreed. For whatever reason, lots of people are starting to think it’s an achievement to do the bare minimum and the world owes you something for it. Cool, you pay your bills, as does any adult. Cool, daddy didn’t buy you a car - most people’s dads don’t. Cool, you’re a nice person - you should be. Cool, you’ve got a decent personality - as you should. Cool, you can cook - I’m glad you can feed yourself. You’re not suddenly super impressive because you’re meeting minimum expectations out in the …
/r/PurplePillDebate04/12/22 06:56 PM
1

SAHW? Sure. I’d love to write books, direct short films, play musical gigs, get another 2-3 degrees, and do volunteer work. That’s a lot of why I’m working to retire early. However, I would not be a SAHM, primarily as I don’t want children. Being a full-time parent is a job so if I’m having to choose a job, I’d rather it not be parenting.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/12/22 06:49 PM
24

Casual dating is about as harmful as you make it for yourself. It works for some people and not for others. That doesn’t make it a horrendous concept. Casual dating doesn’t leave everyone miserable, dissatisfied, or regretful. Some of us enjoy casual dating. We enjoy getting to meet and experience new people and enjoy that spark, even if it doesn’t last. There’s no sadness or regret there. Studies and books will not teach you how to socialize and just talking to people isn’t the same as going on…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/12/22 01:21 PM
10

I don’t think wanting to find a partner that is both compatible with you and attractive is a bad thing. We should all have standards. If you’re going to spend your life with someone and expect to have a decent sex life, attraction is important
/r/PurplePillDebate04/12/22 04:09 AM
2

No, it’s unexpected but not a red flag
/r/PurplePillDebate03/12/22 03:06 PM
2

Depends on the person. Typically, for someone who just asks me on a date with no prior conversation, about 20 minutes. If we had a decent conversation beforehand, 30 minutes. If we’ve had a few decent conversations beforehand (maybe 2 or 3), about 1 hour. I did 3 hours for my current partner (we spent 3-4 days talking for hours on end and really got along), and I did 12 hours for someone before that but I had known that guy for years and we were practically best friends (though it was our first …
/r/PurplePillDebate03/12/22 03:05 PM
1

FNV is an amazing game, thank you
/r/PurplePillDebate27/10/22 01:43 PM
1

Depends on how important religion is to them. I’m agnostic. If they expect me to be religious or for any potential family we have to be religious, it’s a no-go. If they just want the freedom to practice their religion and they’ll give me the freedom to practice mine (or lack thereof), it’s fine
/r/PurplePillDebate04/10/22 11:49 PM
0

What’s he looking for? Hookups, relationships? What kind of women is he into? I’ll attest it’s possible but it depends on his standards. My current partner is 5’7, balding, makes about half as much as your cousin but he got laid decently regularly when he was single (not with everyone he wanted but a fair few of them), and of course, got a few relationships that made him pretty happy.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/10/22 08:33 PM
2

Who do I get along with better? If that’s the same, probably accountant for lifestyle (I imagine the model has a more hectic work schedule)
/r/PurplePillDebate01/10/22 03:19 PM
1

I’m sure there’s a range in there of women who vaguely find it interesting or women who don’t hate anime but don’t find it attractive. Not sure where you’re looking
/r/PurplePillDebate01/10/22 01:01 PM
1

I did for a while. We got tested together before having sex for the first time and I continued to get tested every few months after that. Now I’ll get tested if I’m going in for something else but I don’t go out of my way to get tested regularly
/r/PurplePillDebate16/09/22 12:52 PM
0

Artistic
/r/PurplePillDebate16/09/22 12:40 PM
1

Depends on how the date went but I could go either way; no real preference. A hug at the end is always sweet if the date went well, though
/r/PurplePillDebate12/09/22 03:24 AM
1

I’ve had it happen a few times before. It’s generally fine; if they’re not feeling it, they’re not feeling it and it’s nbd as long as they’re still generally engaged and there’s chemistry. I did once have a guy sleep with me and then completely avoid sexual contact the next morning and that was more off-putting (if he had communicated his thoughts, it would’ve been fine but he stonewalled me) but outside of that, no real issues
/r/PurplePillDebate12/09/22 03:22 AM
1

It’s not intentional but working on it
/r/PurplePillDebate10/09/22 11:33 PM
5

Sometimes. I really like my normal voice but my “social/people pleaser” voice annoys the crap out of me
/r/PurplePillDebate10/09/22 10:52 PM
3

I do appreciate that someone said it. Unfortunately, more often that not, the men I meet that believe in traditional gender roles are terrible at upholding them. They are not strong providers and leaders so why in the world would a traditional woman want to be with them? If you want the benefits of traditional gender roles, you have to put in the work
/r/PurplePillDebate08/09/22 10:41 AM
–

Yeah, I wasn’t that desperate for money, even when I was making minimum wage so $400 wasn’t really going to cut it. But hey, if the difference between making rent and losing my place is $200, sure, I’ll do it for $200. Thankfully, never been in that situation
/r/PurplePillDebate08/09/22 03:01 AM
–

Depends on how close to the wire I am. If I’m drowning in debt/really need to make rent, whatever the difference is with some buffer, if I legitimately have no other options. Back when I did actually make minimum, probably about $1500? Now that I don’t, $4000-$5000
/r/PurplePillDebate08/09/22 12:57 AM
–

Stop being a kid? Maybe 12-14. However, I don’t think adulthood begins until roughly 21 (i.e. when you become financially independent and start fending for yourself)
/r/PurplePillDebate07/09/22 11:35 PM
0

That’s a dealbreaker for me
/r/PurplePillDebate07/09/22 01:32 AM
2

Yep. Money can be great but it’s not going to make up for any major deficits. If you’re average, sure, it can put you over the top but it’s not going to win you any prizes. It’s also worth noting that it’s only really helpful in certain circles. When the woman makes enough to be comfortable, money doesn’t swoon them - they won’t date anyone financially insecure but it becomes the bare minimum, not something special
/r/PurplePillDebate07/09/22 01:31 AM
1

Depends. Anti-abortion for himself or legally? Legally, it’s a dealbreaker. For himself? I don’t mind
/r/PurplePillDebate07/09/22 12:13 AM
1

The answer is nothing. Past a certain point, money stops being all that important for most people. At 200k, a couple can live fairly comfortably in most places. Anything past that isn’t going to make up for someone I find unattractive/don’t enjoy sex with and anything below that, well, lots of guys (at least in my circles) make mid-high 100s so I can find height and a decent penis size in that range anyways
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/22 06:20 PM
2

I’d be for guys doing more of this on dating apps but I don’t think faces being against the rules is great - attraction is important. That being said, I’d love to know those things before matching
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/22 03:08 PM
1

I didn’t realize there were numbers attached but I do like that I’ve got a decent margin above second place. Maybe you underestimated me - who knows?
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/22 03:19 AM
0

I did not confirm that but I do quite enjoy the speculation
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/22 03:07 AM
1

Ahahahah, I’m absolutely living for this. This is hilarious. 10/10, amazing ranking
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/22 03:07 AM
2

I haven’t been here long enough to get a guess but I want a guess!
/r/PurplePillDebate05/09/22 11:45 PM
4

Female condoms are slightly less effective than male condoms. Male condoms are actually the most effective non-invasive contraceptive we have. Other options (calendar, pull-out, sponges, caps, diaphragms, female condoms), are less effective to varying degrees. If more invasive methods aren’t an option, male condoms are the next best thing. They’re also the most widely available and often free, whereas most other options aren’t
/r/PurplePillDebate05/09/22 04:44 AM
0

Yeah, that’s also really concerning. I’m not sure it’s worth it, especially if you don’t trust him (and I don’t think you should)
/r/PurplePillDebate04/09/22 10:23 PM
2

The lying would be a dealbreaker for me but depending on how apologetic he was for it, might be worth it?
/r/PurplePillDebate04/09/22 10:09 PM
0

Maybe? Might be interesting
/r/PurplePillDebate04/09/22 02:08 AM
1

What do you mean? I don’t know that it’s really a hyperbole; I just happen to hold the guy in incredibly high regard. He’s genuinely just an awesome guy and everyone I know who knows him feels the same way
/r/PurplePillDebate04/09/22 12:07 AM
2

Absolutely. The most attractive guy I know is also the most intelligent, outgoing, interesting, and influential person I’ve ever met. I haven’t noticed much of a correlation between attractiveness and personality, tbh
/r/PurplePillDebate03/09/22 11:46 PM
2

Sorry, also didn’t fully read this: I’ll have sex with a guy in a relationship because I love him and I’m sure we can make it work. Compatibility in other ways is more important to me than perfect sex
/r/PurplePillDebate03/09/22 06:37 PM
2

Sorry, it’s a dealbreaker for casual sex but not for a relationship
/r/PurplePillDebate03/09/22 04:01 PM
3

For sex? Yes. For a relationship? No
/r/PurplePillDebate03/09/22 02:35 PM
3

Yes. Nobody can fully understand what anyone else goes through. We all have different perspectives and experiences that nobody else will fully understand or be able to replicate; that’s the beauty of being human
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/22 09:10 PM
1

5’2, 110lbs
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/22 07:17 PM
3

I think the first only means you’re careful about selecting for people who want LTRs. The second means you’re terrible at figuring out who would be good for an LTR. I don’t think that necessarily has a correlation with whether you’re dating up or down
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/22 05:37 PM
1

There are women who do but I don’t have an issue with porn as long as it’s good porn so I don’t have a reason to. I have no issues with anyone watching or making ethical porn. The issue with criticizing women (and men) starring in unethical porn is that it’s often not a choice; a good amount of the time, they’re being coerced/trafficked and I can’t blame them for that
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/22 03:43 PM
7

Most of my relationships were serious. In all of them (barring the one that last 2 months, which again, not sure I consider a relationship), we talked about what we wanted long-term and planned our lives together. We coordinated schools/jobs, planned for kids and marriage (or lack thereof), talked about finances and future in-laws, all of that. The plan was to build our lives together. Of course, when you're 15 and you don't plan to get married young, that doesn't always work out but the intent …
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/22 01:55 PM
6

What do you mean by serious relationship (i.e. what do you consider to differ between long-term and serious relationships)?
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/22 01:42 PM
6

Female
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/22 01:32 PM
3

It depends on what you mean by hyperactive and excitable. Some people who say they're hyperactive don't know how to read a room, ignore other's feelings, etc. However, if you're really just hyperactive/silly/goofy, that's not unattractive at all. I enjoy partners like that. Mine has ADHD and is fairly hyperactive and I think it's really cute
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/22 01:15 PM
12

No, not really. All my relationships have been pretty good. About 60% of my relationships have been what I'd consider long-term (1+ years in my teens, 2+ years in my 20s) and I don't think any of my breakups were for frivolous reasons (usually some long-term incompatibility that had nothing to do with sex). Do I get bored easier? I think everyone gets bored at some point in an LTR (especially when you get into them young) but I don't think it was significantly more than average. Do I get bored s…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/22 01:09 PM
1

Absolutely
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/22 10:34 AM
3

I have genuine questions about what goes on in your head
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/22 05:19 AM
2

It's not bad. I'd rephrase a few things that come off kind of awkward/clunky but that's just personal preference. Otherwise you're probably fine
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/22 05:18 AM
3

No relationships but I have gone on a few dates with guys slightly younger than me. The difference was slight enough (<5 years) that it was basically like dating guys my own age. Some were incredibly immature, some were decent partners, the standard spread. They were people like anyone else
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/22 05:16 AM
2

It's about 50/50. I'll get married if it makes sense (i.e. work benefits, taxes, citizenship), though as common law marriages are a thing where I live, it really is a toss up. No real desire to get married for other reasons (commitment, kids, the traditional stuff). My parents were and are married. My family owns their home. I did graduate from a 4-year university (and my sibling is currently attending one). Marriage can be a useful concept but it's flawed and I don't think it's for everyone.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/22 05:14 AM
3

Yeah, why not? I couldn’t marry anyone who was that insecure/trusted me so little and of course, I don’t mind if my husband did, either. My partner hangs out with his exes alone occasionally - nbd
/r/PurplePillDebate01/09/22 09:10 PM
2

Nah, I appreciate that we’re close enough that we can go to each other for that sort of thing
/r/PurplePillDebate01/09/22 07:38 PM
2

Fairly often
/r/PurplePillDebate01/09/22 07:07 PM
2

Neither. I’m eh on both fronts
/r/PurplePillDebate01/09/22 05:11 PM
4

Many of these guys won’t believe you but yeah, this is it. Sure, some women will approach on looks but it’s rare. As long as you’re moderately okay, the other facets of being a good partner is more important
/r/PurplePillDebate01/09/22 04:40 PM
1

I mean, depends on why he went to jail? The latter bit is irrelevant to me
/r/PurplePillDebate01/09/22 04:20 PM
2

I’d say maybe 10-20% of people I have a decent interaction with (longer than 30 seconds), I feel pretty strongly about. I’ve found most people to be pretty cool. Heck, just the other day, some kid (maybe 15-16) walked by me on the beach and gave me a fist bump for no reason and that made me pretty happy. He seemed like a good kid. I try to remember people like that
/r/PurplePillDebate01/09/22 03:58 PM
2

Strongly in a positive or negative sense?
/r/PurplePillDebate01/09/22 02:02 PM
1

It’s hit or miss. Some women will love it, some will hate it. Female riders are probably your best bet
/r/PurplePillDebate01/09/22 01:28 PM
0

Grey rock. I maintain contact but only when they’re acting like adults
/r/PurplePillDebate01/09/22 12:44 PM
1

Sure, why not?
/r/PurplePillDebate01/09/22 12:51 AM
1

Looks good on some guys and not on others. I don’t really have a preference
/r/PurplePillDebate01/09/22 12:50 AM
2

Fair
/r/PurplePillDebate01/09/22 12:11 AM
0

Professor and activist? Can I ask why? Just haven’t seen those yet
/r/PurplePillDebate31/08/22 11:56 PM
1

Fair
/r/PurplePillDebate31/08/22 11:50 PM
1

Out of curiosity, why doctors? I don't think I've heard that one before
/r/PurplePillDebate31/08/22 11:46 PM
3

Huh. That makes sense. I've never heard about healthcare cheating but I've definitely heard it about military
/r/PurplePillDebate31/08/22 11:45 PM
1

Interesting. Why the military and healthcare?
/r/PurplePillDebate31/08/22 11:33 PM
3

Are we talking an actual cult?
/r/PurplePillDebate31/08/22 11:33 PM
0

Not very long. Maybe a month or two? I loved them but I was 100% sure it wasn’t going to work by the time it was over (I have a tendency to beat the dead horse) so it wasn’t too bad. The last few months of the relationship were brutal, though
/r/PurplePillDebate31/08/22 11:02 PM
1

In general, I think it’s a useful concept, albeit it has some limitations. For myself, I don’t really have a reason to get married unless it’s for citizenship or tax purposes so it’s unlikely to happen
/r/PurplePillDebate31/08/22 10:17 PM
1

In general or for myself?
/r/PurplePillDebate31/08/22 10:13 PM
1

Hey, that’s fair and like I said, it’s a valid way of going through life. There’s nothing wrong with that. It’s just not how I do things and not how I’d prefer for my partners to do things. I do things for most people without the expectation of anything in return. Maybe that’s odd or maybe I’m risking being taken advantage of but it’s how I choose to life my life and I look for the same in my partners. I try to adhere to pure altruism (including while dating) as much as I can without overtly har…
/r/PurplePillDebate31/08/22 09:58 PM
1

Not necessarily. When you’re keeping score, the focus is on making sure you’re getting what’s fair. Living within your limits is doing what you’re capable of without the expectation of anything in return. I don’t want to date a guy who will only pick up the tab on a first date if he thinks there will be a second. I want to date a guy who picks up the tab on a first date because he believes in generosity, regardless of what the outcome is. I don’t think doing things the first way is bad but it’s …
/r/PurplePillDebate31/08/22 09:36 PM
1

I don’t know that younger men will be better. I’d assume they’re more likely to want different things from myself in other ways. Of course, there’s always the exception but I’m not sure it’s more likely than finding a good guy your own age
/r/PurplePillDebate31/08/22 09:24 PM
1

I don't like going through life that way. Life isn't really fair and I don't find it fulfilling to go through life constantly worried I'll be taken advantage of. I could worry that every guy I hang out with will want to hurt me or that every panhandler is a scam artist but it's just not worth the misery that brings - I'd rather assume the best in people while making sure I'm in a place to weather the worst. In the example you gave, I'd rather not be worrying about it being fair. I'll do what I'm…
/r/PurplePillDebate31/08/22 09:17 PM
1

It absolutely is. That being said, as adults with self-determination, we're allowed to make that choice. As much as we can warn the people we care about, I don't think it's anyone's place from stopping a lucid adult from doing things that harm them if that's what they're determined to do. People are allowed to smoke, they're allowed to get blackout drunk, they're allowed to join the military, and they're allowed to do tons of other dangerous/harmful things. We can warn them about it, sure, but w…
/r/PurplePillDebate31/08/22 09:11 PM
1

It depends on the circumstance. If they live near me, I’ll typically arrange and pay for about half the dates, including the first. If they live further away, I’ll offer to travel and expect them to arrange most dates (because I don’t know the area) and I’ll pay for about half (maybe slightly less than half if I’m spending a lot on gas). Alternatively, if they live in a boring area and drive, they can come to me and I arrange/pay for the majority of the dates. When I say pay for, I don’t mean sp…
/r/PurplePillDebate31/08/22 06:46 PM
1

As a woman, depends on how well I know the guy and how much chemistry there is but about 1 month of knowing each other (which is about 3-4 dates for me) is where that is. Earlier if I’ve known them before I started dating, later if we don’t talk as much.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/08/22 05:59 PM
1

Depends on the industry you work in. I know of at least a few people who have done this but nowhere near the majority
/r/PurplePillDebate31/08/22 05:56 PM
1

It’s male-dominated blue-collar. The few women are either adamantly against hooking up with the guys or are constantly hooking up with them; there isn’t much of an in-between. Guys also go either way; they’re either all for it or completely against it
/r/PurplePillDebate31/08/22 05:54 PM
1

Happens a fair bit where I work. Some people are adamantly against it and others dive headfirst into it. Meh
/r/PurplePillDebate31/08/22 05:04 PM
1

Call up a lawyer and some doctors
/r/PurplePillDebate31/08/22 04:49 PM
2

He actually seems really cool, at least on paper. I’m not single and I don’t want kids so that would be a dealbreaker anyways but I’d love to be friends with the guy and hope he finds what he’s looking for. If I was single and wanted kids, I would reach out
/r/PurplePillDebate31/08/22 11:39 AM
1

Oh, abso-fucking-lutely. I have no desire to change someone’s behaviour as long as they’re not hurting anyone. If it’s a one-time thing, I’ll tell them off and try to help them (especially if I know something’s up in their personal life). If it’s repeated, we’re no longer friends and I’ll do everything I can to try and stop them.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/08/22 11:29 AM
1

Aw, that’s cute. Mine is a little too old to understand memes but he’ll send me emojis and gifs and tell me he bought my favourite snacks for when I visit
/r/PurplePillDebate31/08/22 11:26 AM
1

If they’re actually doing something dumb that’s hurting someone (themselves included), I absolutely would. I don’t think staying friends with someone I dislike or eating meat when I don’t falls in that category. Being in a cult or dating toxic people, maybe, but if I’ve given them my two cents and they don’t listen, that’s up to them. Some people just have to live and learn and all you can do is help pick them up and dust them off when they come out the other end of it.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/08/22 11:24 AM
1

Not my type. In general, maybe a 7/10; personally, maybe a 3-4/10
/r/PurplePillDebate31/08/22 11:19 AM
1

Before the date - we were in a hobby group together and he invited me out to dinner with him and his best friend who was bringing his girlfriend (as a double date). I didn’t drive at the time so he offered to give me a ride. Guy didn’t have more than one seat in his car because it was filled with fast food wrappers and random junk. I’m talking hundreds of wrappers. No chance there would be a second date but I didn’t have a great way out so I figured I’d see where it went out of curiosity. The re…
/r/PurplePillDebate31/08/22 11:18 AM
2

I don’t think it’s my place to tell others to behave so long as they’re not hurting anyone. The cult might be the only one on that list that counts but even that’s iffy. As someone who cares about them, I’d let them know if I was concerned about them but otherwise leave them be - this is my problem, not theirs. If it’s really affecting me and I can’t stay friends with them, I’d phrase it as being an issue on my end (because it is). I’d tell them I care about them but things in my personal life m…
/r/PurplePillDebate31/08/22 11:08 AM
2

Thank you. I appreciate it and thankfully, it is. That’s interesting - out of curiosity, why the age gap? Do you generally prefer younger women?
/r/PurplePillDebate31/08/22 02:35 AM
2

My guess is my age give or take 5ish years, but I’m not sure. I don’t really see myself generally being attracted to 25 year olds at 40 but I also don’t see myself being generally attracted to 55 year olds at 40
/r/PurplePillDebate31/08/22 01:46 AM
5

I don't find the vast majority to be boring but I do find them to be incompatible, which is expected.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/08/22 01:11 AM
1

I’m not sure I’ve heard most of these. I do think whoever suggests the date should pay, unless it was a mutual decision (I.e on tinder, it’s expected so go Dutch). That being said, women should also just start asking men out. Female teachers shouldn’t be sleeping with male students. That’s also fucking disgusting. However, honestly, male teachers don’t face a ton of backlash, either, at least where I’m from. We really should crack down on both.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/08/22 12:39 AM
2

Hey, that’s a great reason to do it now. Makes me think I need to stop worrying and go for it. That works out pretty well. I’m hoping to move somewhere warmer eventually so that might be a better fit
/r/PurplePillDebate31/08/22 12:28 AM
1

Fingers crossed. I think I looked at some used bikes that would run me about $5000 after gear and all that but my insurance was close to $6000 a year (and because of snow, it's not safe to ride about 4-6 months of the year where I am). Hopefully your costs make way more sense. That's awesome. I'd love to get into fun toys but realistically, I should be focusing on other things like retirement. It's just not as much fun
/r/PurplePillDebate31/08/22 12:11 AM
1

To me, it’s incredibly important in both and one of the major places most of me and my prospective dates are incompatible. I mostly look at attitude/habits and long-term goals, though. I don’t really care about how much they’re making as long as they’re financially healthy (and if they’re not, have a plan to get there). I do care about if they’ve incurred consumer debt (airsoft guns and ferret cages), have no desire to move upwards despite having a barely-livable wage, and general recklessness I…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/22 11:50 PM
5

No, not unless they outwardly ask for it (I.e if a close friend is asking me for advice and I genuinely think it’s the way they approach sex that’s a problem). Otherwise, I don’t care. Be safe and have fun
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/22 11:43 PM
2

Honestly, my man, life is hard for everyone. Different kinds of hardships, for sure, but life doesn’t get easier just because you’re a woman
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/22 11:40 PM
1

Ooh, also please let me know how that goes. I tried to get one earlier this year but my insurance was twice the cost of the bike so that’s on hold
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/22 11:31 PM
0

I’m also thoroughly debating picking up a third job as a bartender. Your resume looks way cooler, though. Let me know if it’s worth it!
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/22 09:49 PM
5

Having poor social skills will generally make people feel uncomfortable around you, yes. A large part of social norms is predictability; if you act in a way others can predict, they feel comfortable around you. When you have poor social skills and can’t mesh with the current social situation, you become unpredictable and it puts people on edge. Most women have been having poor experiences with men since they were preteens, if not earlier, so that combined with a guy that’s unpredictable is not a…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/22 09:10 PM
2

Maybe 5 or so
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/22 08:22 PM
4

After - gives us something to talk about during the meal but also, make sure you start the activity early enough that you’re not rushing cause you’re hungry
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/22 08:11 PM
1

Yep! Also a good point
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/22 06:32 PM
3

Absolutely. You can sample all of them in store, usually, and most places will also have a 30 day return policy on gently used items
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/22 06:02 PM
5

Go down to Sephora or Mac or another makeup store and they’ll match you. Really, though, the best way is to test a few because they’ll all have different undertones, overtones, coverages, textures, etc
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/22 05:54 PM
2

I know people who are completely content and satisfied with where they are in life but for most people, there's always something to complain about because not everything will be in your control.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/22 05:26 PM
2

Somewhat. It's a "nice to have" but not necessary or even on the list of things I look for
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/22 05:21 PM
2

Like I said, even split. I think I did have a preference for men who were at least somewhat financially stable and could take care of themselves and at the time, those men were older than me (typically ages 23-27). As I got older, that preference didn't change but my peers started to get their lives together so I started dating men my own age; I had no desire to date older men at that point because they were settling down and I had no desire to. So preference for a stage of life, I guess? The ag…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/22 04:31 PM
4

Yeah, while it was legal, it wasn’t okay. I grew up with quite a few older men (ages 30-50) using my inexperience to their advantage, unfortunately, and I didn’t grow up with strong familial relationships or friendships so I didn’t have anyone to warn me (the few distant friends I did have, many of said guys made a point to isolate me from). Thankfully, things got much better for me once I became a legal adult and didn’t have to rely on others to make my way through the world. I really do share …
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/22 03:51 PM
1

I’ve dated a pretty even split of older men and men my age. No real preference. I mentioned the ones my age in relation to another comment
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/22 03:47 PM
1

I’ve listed the younger ones in relation to another comment. I’ve also mentioned in another comment that I don’t think the majority of those men took advantage of me; this was a warning against dating older men, not an attempt to point fingers or place blame. Just because they weren’t good partners doesn’t mean they took advantage of me; it means I saw a pattern in the behaviour of older men willing to date young women that I felt was worth sharing. That being said, I only truly felt that I was …
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/22 03:45 PM
4

I dated the first one because he asked, did the whole "you make me so happy, I couldn't do this without you" and "age is just a number"' and I believed him because I didn't have other good relationship models in my life. The second one was because we got along and again, I still believed that age was just a number and he didn't cross any boundaries so I didn't have any reason not to believe him. The fifth guy was because we were friends and I trusted him. Third one was because I thought things h…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/22 12:07 PM
4

Grooming isn’t really a thing with adults. With kids (15-16 year olds, maybe even 18 year olds), it’s absolutely a problem. There’s an argument to be made for young adults (18-21ish) in that many of them are still children but that’s hit or miss. Past that, it’s not a thing (unless they have severe intellectual disabilities); you’re all adults
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/22 03:52 AM
1

Haha, I more mean that your body can do a lot more in your 20s than your 70s so it’s wise to plan ahead. Congrats on living such a great life under 30!
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/22 01:37 AM
1

I’m not sure what you do for a living or where you live but it’s worth noting that one day, you may not be able to do what you currently do for money so having some retirement savings is important. Also, while Van life is awesome and Id be happy to do it on and off for a decade or two, at some point, most people physically won’t be capable of it anymore; Van life usually requires a fair degree of mobility and fitness and that’s just not achievable for most people in their 60s/70s/80s, so there d…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/22 01:24 AM
1

It depends on who you ask. I wouldn’t mind a guy like that but I did van life for about 4 months and the only reason I stopped was because work needed me to come back in. If I guy can make it financially (and I really do mean make it - have basics covered, room for extras, be on track for retirement, etc), I have no issues with it. Some software devs, for example, do this beautifully. I also know sales folk, photographers, writers, artists, etc, who can do this well so it’s all good.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/22 12:38 AM
5

No thanks. I feel like that’s just another reason to be murdered. I’ll take my chances with traditional CPR or god
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/22 12:08 AM
3

Well that’s no fun. I need the redpillers to explain themselves
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/22 12:04 AM
8

I would not recommend dating 16 year olds, my friend. It was not a good time for either of us
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/22 12:04 AM
5

I do think there’s generally a difference; I’ve found redpill to be more trad and bluepill to be more modern but I’m also curious about this cmv
/r/PurplePillDebate29/08/22 11:46 PM
1

No worries. Life is hard and sometimes we’re not always at our best; it happens. I’m sorry things didn’t work out for you two but I’m glad you’ve found a way to stay friends that works for both of you
/r/PurplePillDebate29/08/22 11:41 PM
1

Hobby groups - we had some common interests and met in a group for one
/r/PurplePillDebate29/08/22 11:39 PM
4

Haha, that’s one way to put it. Definitely doing better. Thank you
/r/PurplePillDebate29/08/22 11:03 PM
2

It depends on the person. If romance is important to them (I.e they want a nuclear family or a traditional life-partner) and they’re having no success despite trying, they’re really going to struggle. I think it’s possible but very, very difficult. If romance isn’t all that important, they don’t really care about having a nuclear family or a life partner, or they fail at romance because they don’t really care to put in the effort, I think they’ll be fine and probably happier without a relationsh…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/08/22 10:58 PM
6

Thank you for sharing your experiences. I’m sorry to hear about the one that put you in the hospital - I’m glad you’re okay. I’ve found age only really plays a factor when the younger party is incredibly young. Past that, everyone is an adult and it is just compatibility so I see where you’re coming from. I’ve never had any issues with age gaps once I was out of college and I haven’t met many others who have either. I’m glad the rest of your experiences went well and thank you for sharing your p…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/08/22 10:48 PM
3

Love, I’m a woman. I have been threatened, assaulted, had men threaten to murder me and mutilate my corpse in front of my family. I’ve been stalked, harassed, coerced, and abused financially and emotionally, and had my rights infringed upon by men who think they know my body better than I do. It just wasn’t what I was thinking when I read that question
/r/PurplePillDebate29/08/22 10:28 PM
1

I more geared the question towards men who expect to financially provide for their partner once they have kids together. I’d hope she’s not broke in that case (though I know some are, though I don’t expect those guys to be answering this question)
/r/PurplePillDebate29/08/22 10:24 PM
2

It’s not a lack of empathy, I took the question to mean whether ONS or relationships were more likely to result in long-term pain; I wasn’t even thinking about men that intrude without being invited
/r/PurplePillDebate29/08/22 10:23 PM
1

This is a good point and not what I was thinking
/r/PurplePillDebate29/08/22 10:20 PM
2

Ack, why?
/r/PurplePillDebate29/08/22 10:00 PM
5

Tl;dr: Don’t be a plumber and don’t be morbidly obese. Also, maybe know how to hold a conversation - that’s cool too
/r/PurplePillDebate29/08/22 10:00 PM
2

Can't help you because I agree. I don't have issues with guys I've had a ONS/was FWB with, barring maybe one that lead me on and was a dick about it. The guys I dislike are the guys I either went on a couple dates with and felt like I dodged a bullet, or guys I wasn't smart enough to dodge and that screwed me. The guys I hooked up with were generally good (again, barring the one).
/r/PurplePillDebate29/08/22 09:57 PM
6

Hey, thanks for commenting. Just some clarification: A) All the relationships were legal. The age of consent where I live is 16. It was a terrible idea but it was legal B) I didn't include any of the guys my own age. It wasn't that age-gap relationships were inherently bad so much as they were more risky. Relationships with guys my own age were either great or mediocre. Relationships with significantly older guys were either great or absolutely horrible. C) That is a good point. Here's a list of…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/08/22 09:55 PM
3

Ahh, I thought you meant personalities. The guys are kind of out of order but here's a timeline (with the number corresponding to my age): ​ October 15 to October 16: Dated a guy my age (not on this list) October 16 to October of 17: Dated guy 1 October 17 to December 17: Hooked up with guy 5 and guy 2, went on a few dates, was mostly single because I wasn't ready to date January 18 to June 18: Dated a different guy my age June 18 - December 18: Hooked up with guy 5, dated a few other guys not o…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/08/22 09:42 PM
2

I like this answer a lot. I wish more people on this sub were like you. Thank you
/r/PurplePillDebate29/08/22 09:06 PM
1

I’m glad it worked out for you. I was more so curious based on your last comment about maxxing and all that - curious about what this sub’s take would be. My partner and I make similar incomes and I don’t think either of us did anything special but I was wondering if you had a different experience
/r/PurplePillDebate29/08/22 08:46 PM
2

Out of curiosity, what made you want to be the provider? That idea sounds incredibly stressful to me, especially with all the financial obligations you’ve mentioned. What was the appeal and how do you manage the risk (I.e. if you fall ill/lose your job/etc)?
/r/PurplePillDebate29/08/22 08:43 PM
2

Follow-up question: what kind of income do you find high-income women expect you to have? What other qualities do you have that make high-income women want to date you? Curious as to how this differs to girls dating high income men
/r/PurplePillDebate29/08/22 08:37 PM
1

I can appreciate that. Thank you for answering
/r/PurplePillDebate29/08/22 08:36 PM
1

That’s an interesting perspective. Thank you for answering
/r/PurplePillDebate29/08/22 08:35 PM
7

Yeah, most of them were 7-15 years older than me and terrible. I had a saviour complex as a kid - saw some of them hurting and wanted to “fix” them. I did actually date guys closer in age to myself in that mix, as well as a few other older guys, but it wasn’t super relevant to the question. About half my partners were about my age and I’d say 75% were decent men but you live and you learn
/r/PurplePillDebate29/08/22 08:34 PM
2

Interesting. The idea of having people relying on me to that degree sounds terrifying to me. What happens if you fall I’ll or lose your job? That thought does not make me happy
/r/PurplePillDebate29/08/22 08:30 PM
1

I mean, I’ve met plenty of men who do so I guess there’s that
/r/PurplePillDebate29/08/22 08:26 PM
1

That’s more what I mean; not financing her life so much as the pressure that you’ll probably either be the breadwinner or the sole-income earner after kids. The idea of having multiple people dependent on me does not make me happy
/r/PurplePillDebate29/08/22 08:23 PM
2

Honestly valid. Probably about half my previous partners wanted to be SAHDs
/r/PurplePillDebate29/08/22 08:22 PM
9

Yep. This is exactly what I learned. I had a good partner and a good hookup and I also had 3 terrible partners that destroyed me. It’s not worth it when you could just wait a few years and be on level ground
/r/PurplePillDebate29/08/22 08:17 PM
2

Q4M: What’s it like having the expectation of being the provider, especially in the current economic climate? How do you make it work and how you you cope with the pressure? Edit: I more mean if you want your partner to be a SAHM/you want kids - not generally dating broke women
/r/PurplePillDebate29/08/22 08:16 PM
6

Thank you. I’m doing well now and while I don’t regret the experience as a whole, I would not recommend it to anyone else
/r/PurplePillDebate29/08/22 08:08 PM
35

So I've actually dated a few older men (about 7-15 years older than myself when I was in my teens) and neither of those have been my experience. I'll outline a few below. The tl;dr is that is really depends but just as there's a higher likelihood that the guy will have their shit together, there's a higher likelihood that he'll be a jerk. I didn't find many "mediocre" guys that were 5+ years my senior willing to date me; they were either wonderful or awful. Conversely, when dating guys my own ag…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/08/22 07:51 PM
1

An old Saturn SUV
/r/PurplePillDebate29/08/22 07:34 PM
1

I like the way you think
/r/PurplePillDebate29/08/22 07:33 PM
7

Anything that shows they put in some effort. Past that, it’s just us clicking. I put a lot of effort into my photos and bio so asking about it is always cool. Ask about the trip I took (in the photos) or what my favourite song to play is (in my bio) or tell me about your most recent programming project (also mentioned in my bio). If the conversation flows from there, that’s awesome. I’ve had some great conversations that started with a trip I took and ended with the determination of free will. T…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/08/22 04:17 PM
8

His photos were decent, he had an okay bio, he had a decent job, he just seemed… okay. The conversation was what really made him stand out. We clicked immediately and texted for hours each day for weeks on end. That being said, this was how I went about dating apps so you’ve got my thought process: Initial for me was bio - anyone without a bio got an immediate left-swipe with very few exceptions After that, it was job/education - if they weren’t/didn’t go to university and/or had a blue-collar c…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/08/22 02:54 PM
4

I think you’re more normal. Most guys on this sub are… interesting
/r/PurplePillDebate29/08/22 01:52 PM
4

I mean, anything is a valid reason to not be attracted to someone, as stupid as I may think those reasons are. That being said, if we want to play devil’s advocate, height is more physical. It’s not even height relative to self so much as it is relative to the environment. Doorframes, cupboards, other men, shelves, etc, etc - it’s pretty easy to visually tell height to some degree of certainty. I can usually tell the difference between 5’9 and 6’ pretty decently, despite only being 5’1. Can I te…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/08/22 11:32 AM
2

Most of the “not like other girls” hate other women just for being women. They hate all the traditional things associated with being feminine just to prove they’re different. Makeup, Starbucks, pink, dresses, etc, etc. There’s no inherent problem with not having feminine interests but at some point it pretty much becomes internalized misogyny - men are inherently better because they’re not “annoying”, women who wear makeup are dumb, women who wear dresses don’t know how to work hard, etc. They b…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/08/22 11:19 AM
3

Hey, that’s fair. Dating is a pain in the ass and if you’re not up for it right now, you don’t have to do it. Enjoy your friends and the gym and everything else you’ve got going on, man
/r/PurplePillDebate28/08/22 09:50 PM
3

Depends on the kind of advice. They’re different perspectives and they both have their place
/r/PurplePillDebate28/08/22 09:14 PM
1

Depends on where they were to begin with. Going from skinny/healthy to fit maybe adds 1-2 points. Going from morbidly obese to fit can easily add 5+ points
/r/PurplePillDebate28/08/22 05:42 PM
1

I've found the bar to be pretty low across the board, at least from what most of my male friends have told me. Yeah, there are incompatibilities, people don't reciprocate feelings, whatever, but most people don't seem to be asking for much. Be a functional human with some decent qualities and ideally, don't be a walking board of red flags. As large as some lists are, I've found the average person to be pretty reasonable with what they're asking for (I have a stupidly long laundry list of things …
/r/PurplePillDebate28/08/22 03:25 PM
22

I've never heard of anyone giving women leeway for being a bitch on their periods. More often than not, I've seen my completely legitimate anger dismissed with "she's just on her period" but I've never gotten leeway for being irritable. I have gotten leeway for being out of commission/in pain for a day or two (i.e. my brother might run an errand for my or my partner might have to deal with the dishes being in the sink for an extra day) but it's nothing I don't do for them when they're ill/stress…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/08/22 03:21 PM
3

Yes and no. Mine will always be a kid to me do if they need anything, I’ll usually try to help out or take something of their plate, but I don’t treat them like a young child
/r/PurplePillDebate28/08/22 10:28 AM
2

No question. Absolutely
/r/PurplePillDebate28/08/22 12:43 AM
2

It’s just fun banter
/r/PurplePillDebate28/08/22 12:40 AM
–

Eh, maybe to her. It definitely is to me but probably for different reasons
/r/PurplePillDebate27/08/22 05:30 PM
13

If they’re just busy with other things, it’s fine - I don’t mind. If they’re seriously struggling, I’d worry about their social skills and potentially getting sucked into the redpill/incel culture
/r/PurplePillDebate27/08/22 04:24 PM
–

28-32, depending on circumstance. If you did a lot of school/built a business/were busy with other life things, it’s not a big deal. I know a few guys who lived with their parents and didn’t date till 35ish. By that time they were a millionaire. Met a lawyer and got married a year later
/r/PurplePillDebate27/08/22 04:22 PM
–

Nah, people can want whatever. Doesn’t mean she’ll get it
/r/PurplePillDebate27/08/22 04:20 PM
–

I’ve tried that before, probably a few weeks after my last breakup because I didn’t want anything serious. Most of my matches were about as attractive as myself (4-5, maybe some 6s). I did get way more matches than I’d imagine most guys get but tinder is male-dominated and I don’t think as many girls look for hookups as guys, so that makes sense. Nothing that was really out of my league, unfortunately
/r/PurplePillDebate27/08/22 03:27 PM
–

I've really never understood this. I'm probably around average (4-5, maybe), and most of the guys I've dated are about average (4-5, maybe a few 6s in there). I've been with one guy who was more attractive (maybe a 7-8 in my books) and that was only because we were close friends well before that - he would not have (and did not) sleep with/go on a date with me before we had been friends for 5+ years and at that point, it was only because he didn't have many friends left and didn't feel like casu…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/08/22 01:21 PM
2

I’m not sure he’s considered worthless so much as most women won’t want to date him. That being said, I also think more women need to get their shit together. Everyone is immature as heck
/r/PurplePillDebate27/08/22 11:15 AM
1

With one of them, I didn’t have a reaction. With the other, it was a combination of “ow” and “wow”. It was impressive but I was also very concerned it would go poorly - he turned out to be the best sex I’ve had though so it worked out. The one I didn’t have a reaction to was pretty terrible
/r/PurplePillDebate27/08/22 02:05 AM
1

One was the best sex I ever had. The other was close to the worst. It really is more about skill than size
/r/PurplePillDebate27/08/22 12:59 AM
2

I think the taller guy probably has an advantage with a good group of women but I’m not sure how many. I’d personally prefer the shorter guy because I’m short and dating guys over 5’8 is a pain in the ass (I’ve dated a few and it’s not a dealbreaker but it just makes life harder than it needs to be). That being said, I imagine many women see it differently. If the short guy is average, my guess is the tall one is like a 6-6.5/10
/r/PurplePillDebate27/08/22 12:04 AM
4

Could go either way, depending on how the rest of the date went. If he generally seems like he’s cheap/stingy about things (I.e If I get the vibe that he wouldn’t be down to pick up the bill if he didn’t have a coupon, despite having the money to do so), it’s a turnoff. If it’s just somewhere he wanted to try/already likes/whatever and he happened to have a coupon, nbd
/r/PurplePillDebate27/08/22 12:02 AM
3

I generally assume I’m exclusive with anyone I’ve gone on more than a few dates with (usually past date 3-4, maybe earlier depending on chemistry), unless we’ve had conversations indicating otherwise. I think “taking things slow” usually indicates exclusivity. However, I don’t think rejecting sex in other ways (“not ready yet,” “not in the mood,” “don’t want to,” “I don’t sleep with people on the first/second date,” etc) does. I do typically have the exclusivity talk at some point to make sure w…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/08/22 11:58 PM
1

That we don’t click/he’s not good at it
/r/PurplePillDebate26/08/22 11:53 PM
1

Yes. I know quite a few (myself included)
/r/PurplePillDebate26/08/22 11:51 PM
1

It’s not unattractive but it doesn’t do anything for me either
/r/PurplePillDebate26/08/22 11:50 PM
2

I think that depending on the guy, you’re more likely to hit with liberal Asian women because options in their own race is limited. I have a preference for white guys not because they’re white but because they’re less likely to want me to pop out four kids, deal with crazy in-laws, and be their live-in bang maid. There are Asian guys who don’t want all that (I’ve dated a few) but because there are fewer Asian guys in general and a higher percentage of them are conservative (at least in my area),…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/08/22 04:22 PM
3

For me, it’s mostly because the majority of guys in the demographic that works for me tend to be white. I’ve dated a wide range of guys but I’ve found that the guys that I end up in long-term relationships with are guys that live within an hour of me, are university-educated, have white-collar jobs, and are fairly liberal. My area is mostly white barring a small immigrant population of Asian folk who go to the local community college or work in the service industry. I’ve dated a few before but i…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/08/22 03:59 PM
2

Sure. Why not? I have nothing against it, provided they’re cool with me doing the same
/r/PurplePillDebate26/08/22 12:30 AM
24

Playing the field is fine as long as you’re open and honest about it. Be a kind person and it’s all good. This sub just likes to shame people who can do what they can’t or people who have different goals/desires/values. Don’t worry about them
/r/PurplePillDebate25/08/22 01:52 PM
5

I was hit on more between the ages of 12-15 than I was from 16-21. Actually, I was hit on more in any 12 month period between 12-15 than I was in the entire 5 years between 16-21. Men in either case ranged from my age to 55ish and there hasn’t been a large change in the age of men hitting on me (so yeah, I had as many 55 year olds hitting on me at 12 as I do at 21, which makes me want to throw up). I’ve always looked younger than I was - I probably looked 17 at 21 so I imagine at 14, I probably …
/r/PurplePillDebate25/08/22 04:21 AM
2

Yeah, not sure that’ll go well for her. I’m pretty wary of conservative men or men who were raised in conservative cultures and religions but that’s just… well, good luck to her
/r/PurplePillDebate25/08/22 02:06 AM
1

Prices vary by state, provider, and coverage. US medical pricing clearly isn’t very transparent but amongst multiple sources, $400 seems to be a pretty conservative average. However, feel free to let me know if I missed something as I very well could have. https://www.crigenetics.com/blog/how-much-does-a-dna-test-cost-and-how-long-do-they-take?hs_amp=true https://namecensus.com/blog/how-much-do-dna-tests-cost-in-the-hospital/ https://health.costhelper.com/paternity-test.html https://yourdna.com/…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/08/22 02:04 AM
3

I prefer it. I have a capsule wardrobe and I find it easier. As long as it doesn’t impact our social lives or careers or anything like that, it’s all good
/r/PurplePillDebate25/08/22 12:50 AM
3

In the US, they'll charge to high-hell for it. In the US, a paternity test costs $400-$2000. If you want to test both parents you're looking at $600 on the low end and $1500 in the mid range (let's assume they don't charge for DNA collection + storage twice). In the US, 3.66M kids are born each year. That's between 2.2 and 5.5 billion dollars. The entire foster care system costs the federal government 5 billion a year. US universal dental care would cost the US an estimated 5.2 billion a year. E…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/08/22 12:28 AM
3

No, I think there are better places to spend that money but I would support it being an option if that was a concern
/r/PurplePillDebate24/08/22 11:27 PM
0

F: Personality (70%): Ambition, kindness, generosity, confidence, integrity, intelligence, open-mindedness Looks (30%): Fit, well-groomed
/r/PurplePillDebate24/08/22 09:03 PM
2

Guys with decent jobs will have more options than guys without, assuming all else is equal. If you’re making the trade off between your job and other things (social skills, looks, hobbies, etc), then yeah, it’ll probably impact your chances but an attractive, interesting, middle class guy will have an easier time with woman than an attractive, interesting, lower class guy
/r/PurplePillDebate24/08/22 09:00 PM
1

You know it 😘
/r/PurplePillDebate24/08/22 08:58 PM
2

Eh, that’s fine. You do you, boo
/r/PurplePillDebate24/08/22 07:37 PM
3

I only consider B and C casual
/r/PurplePillDebate24/08/22 07:31 PM
1

More from other women tbh. I don’t really care about men’s opinions. Trust me, I don’t do my makeup or nails for men - they hate that shit but other women find it super cool
/r/PurplePillDebate24/08/22 07:31 PM
3

Yeah, it wasn’t really to get attention from men while single, either. I just like the way I look. I’m a bit too conceited but meh
/r/PurplePillDebate24/08/22 07:20 PM
6

Im vain. Same reason as while single. I like the way I look and sharing that
/r/PurplePillDebate24/08/22 07:11 PM
1

I like my own vibes. No sad or hot boy vibes here, thank youuu
/r/PurplePillDebate24/08/22 03:51 PM
2

Vulnerable boy vibes are more attractive but actual sad boy vibes are not it. No sad boy or hot boy vibes for me, thx
/r/PurplePillDebate24/08/22 03:46 PM
3

Typically about $20 for a first date. I always go for something easy and cheap so it’s not a ton of commitment if it doesn’t go well
/r/PurplePillDebate24/08/22 03:19 PM
2

This is actually super reassuring to hear. Would you mind if I DM’d you? Was hoping you might have some advice
/r/PurplePillDebate24/08/22 10:27 AM
9

The curve/size causes it to rub/hit uncomfortably and no amount of lube/foreplay fixes that. We’ve tried with no real luck. He’s still amazing, though, and I appreciate how hard he tries
/r/PurplePillDebate24/08/22 02:58 AM
3

This is the answer
/r/PurplePillDebate24/08/22 02:57 AM
17

No, it’s not the best sex. No, I don’t fantasize about the other guys. It’s not discussed but I’m fairly sure he’s aware he’s not the best. I wouldn’t consider the sex toxic - he really does try and he’s sweet and kind and receptive and the best partner I’ve ever had. We just don’t… fit very well sexually. Not even in terms of preferences but we just don’t physically fit very well, if that makes sense
/r/PurplePillDebate24/08/22 01:25 AM
1

Neither. I’m glad my partner is building good relationships and is happy with the people in his life
/r/PurplePillDebate24/08/22 01:13 AM
–

Thank you
/r/PurplePillDebate23/08/22 03:04 PM
–

I also have issues with capitalism
/r/PurplePillDebate23/08/22 02:49 PM
–

Not at all. I see no benefit in that
/r/PurplePillDebate23/08/22 01:52 PM
–

Why would they be losing rights? What’s the scenario here? Also, absolutely not. Basic rights should not have to be earned
/r/PurplePillDebate23/08/22 01:42 PM
1

Not married but ltr. Nothing I’ll refuse to do on principle but there are things I’d strongly prefer he do because it makes more sense. Getting things off tall shelves, anything to do with ratchet straps, most home maintenance - but if he’s not available, I’ll figure it out
/r/PurplePillDebate23/08/22 06:05 AM
2

Neither? I just don’t usually see men worth approaching and if I do, I approach them?
/r/PurplePillDebate23/08/22 06:01 AM
3

Lots of people can be perfectly happy with close familial relationships & friendships and a good sex toy
/r/PurplePillDebate22/08/22 08:30 PM
1

Definitely side then. I’d rather not emotionally commit to that
/r/PurplePillDebate22/08/22 07:30 PM
1

I need more context. If we’re all just poly (I.e I can date other people as well), then probably main. Otherwise, side
/r/PurplePillDebate22/08/22 06:39 PM
1

I think most women here are in relationships. Some guys here are cool but most of them just scare me so I think I’d stick to the more mainstream apps, personally. I’m sure some women would go for it though
/r/PurplePillDebate22/08/22 11:18 AM
1

I hate driving but I love seeing everything on the way. I think I’d prefer a train tbh
/r/PurplePillDebate22/08/22 11:15 AM
3

I don’t think it’s the norm to invite exes to a wedding unless there’s a different reason for it (I.e. they were childhood friends and are still close, their ex is dating someone else who’s invited, etc)
/r/PurplePillDebate22/08/22 11:12 AM
1

Depends on what you want. I don’t really want kids so that’s moot for me
/r/PurplePillDebate22/08/22 11:02 AM
2

I mean, whatever works. To each their own and all that. I’m not going to get into height because it’s talked about a lot and I honestly don’t care but the civil servant point is interesting. For me, I think it depends on the specific job. There are lots of civil servants I’d love to date. There are also lots Im really not into. Depends on the specific person and their circumstances. That being said, honestly, DMV/postal worker/etc isn’t inherently attractive, at least to me. Doesn’t usually scre…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/08/22 03:48 AM
2

Depends on the circumstance but generally a red flag. If it’s because you recently moved or had a major life shift, eh, probably fine. If it’s because you just can’t maintain relationships with other people, that’s concerning. Also, I don’t want to be someone’s entire social life and I tend to run into that when dating guys who don’t have other friends
/r/PurplePillDebate22/08/22 03:37 AM
2

Then yeah, I wouldn’t worry about it. If that’s going to be a problem for her, you weren’t compatible to begin with.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/08/22 10:46 PM
3

Probably B but I don’t really care for that either. I think makeup can be fun and cool so definitely not A - I don’t want to take that form of expression away from people. B could be interesting just for my own curiosity but it doesn’t really matter to me
/r/PurplePillDebate21/08/22 10:40 PM
4

Easier to maintain and I like the way it looks. The men it turns off are men I wouldn’t have been interested in anyways so it’s a win-win
/r/PurplePillDebate21/08/22 10:38 PM
1

Depends on the circumstance. I’ve definitely found myself just less willing to pursue sex if I’m turned down repeatedly but I’ll still date them - we’ll just probably be having less frequent sex than we would be otherwise. That being said, if it’s just that they want to take things slow/doesn’t like hookups and communicates that, that’s fine
/r/PurplePillDebate21/08/22 10:36 PM
2

It’s more common than it was before but it’s not the only way. Of all my dates, about 75% came from OLD but only 25% of my relationships were from OLD - most were friends of friends or people I met in hobby groups. That being said, I think it depends. I know some people who mostly prefer to meet in bars, at church, at work, etc. Some people (myself included) prefer OLD. Depends on what circles you run in and what you’re looking for
/r/PurplePillDebate21/08/22 01:56 PM
4

That’s fine. It really boils down to just being a decent human being and treating other people like people. Be open and upfront, respect them and be kind, don’t treat them like a means to an end. That’s all it takes
/r/PurplePillDebate19/08/22 11:47 AM
2

I’d probably think they were a jerk and be glad I dodged that bullet. No issues with being rejected but don’t be a dick about it (that goes for everyone)
/r/PurplePillDebate19/08/22 11:40 AM
16

It’s fine as long as you’re not being misleading. If she’s making it clear she’s looking for a relationship and you know you don’t want a relationship with her, that’s misleading and generally being disrespectful of each other’s time and goals (and lying by omission still counts here). Otherwise, there’s really nothing wrong with it.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/08/22 11:37 AM
1

Yeah, that’s rough. Poor kid
/r/PurplePillDebate17/08/22 11:51 PM
1

Sorry, worse as in I don’t even think his mom has a reason to have him up for prayers that early
/r/PurplePillDebate17/08/22 11:50 PM
2

That’s a you problem, my guy
/r/PurplePillDebate17/08/22 11:48 PM
1

Ouch. That’s worse. Poor kid
/r/PurplePillDebate17/08/22 11:45 PM
2

Eh, it can be fun. Put on something cute, throw on some fun music, and enjoy yourself. Why not?
/r/PurplePillDebate17/08/22 11:44 PM
3

I mean, there’s no good solution but the symbolic “hand off” that comes with the name change doesn’t feel great. I didn’t really get a say when I was born but I do get a say now. Besides, in the time between them and now, I’ve made that name my own as well and I have no real desire to change it just to be handed off to someone
/r/PurplePillDebate17/08/22 11:41 PM
2

Muslim? Yeah, it can be a bit much
/r/PurplePillDebate17/08/22 11:38 PM
1

It depends on what our relationship has been like and how attracted I am to him but somewhere between A and B. If it’s a surface-level crush or they’re just physically attractive or just have a couple of attractive traits, it’s fairly easy. If I’ve known and had deep feelings for them for a while, it gets a bit harder but I’ve never had it become so difficult that it’s not worth being friends. Edit: Given that we’d only be casual friends, always A. It only really crosses into B when we’re also c…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/08/22 11:36 PM
1

Get your life together. Get educated, get a job, find hobbies you enjoy, make friends, travel, generally enjoy life. Have a good time and be responsible because current and future you deserves that
/r/PurplePillDebate17/08/22 08:35 PM
3

Kind of. It’s their (and honestly, society as a whole’s) responsibility to make sure they’re living healthy lives, socializing, are at least somewhat educated, and can generally participate in society. What one does with those skills is up to them
/r/PurplePillDebate17/08/22 08:33 PM
1

A
/r/PurplePillDebate17/08/22 08:32 PM
2

Some guys do, some don’t. I prefer guys who don’t
/r/PurplePillDebate16/08/22 08:04 PM
3

Then it doesn’t bother me in the slightest. Life happens. If we’re otherwise compatible as people, it’s all good
/r/PurplePillDebate16/08/22 06:06 PM
6

Like with anything else, depends on a lot of things. Why, how long have they been on food stamps, what's the long-term plan, are we compatible in other ways, can we make things work financially, etc? I'm fine with it if we have similar values and are compatible otherwise.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/08/22 05:50 PM
1

Green
/r/PurplePillDebate15/08/22 04:53 AM
1

Given that I do date them, yes
/r/PurplePillDebate12/08/22 07:35 PM
1

I mean, as a woman who supports body positivity, I like to think some of us do date chubby men with no issues
/r/PurplePillDebate12/08/22 07:29 PM
2

About half my dates and long-term relationships have been with men who were overweight/obese (including my current partner). Given about 60% of my country is overweight/obese it lines up pretty well. No tangible preference
/r/PurplePillDebate12/08/22 06:10 PM
1

Oh, I think kids can be amazing when you’re prepared for and want them. When you’re not/ don’t, it’s not nearly as amazing
/r/PurplePillDebate12/08/22 11:28 AM
2

Oh, thank you. This restores my faith in humanity a little
/r/PurplePillDebate12/08/22 03:22 AM
1

Let's do the math: Cost of Childbirth: $10,000 (assuming the birth goes perfectly) Cost of Raising a Child: $200,000 (single mothers typically spend less than the average) Income difference between single women and single mothers: $15,000/year * 18 years = $270,000 (this is conservative as the gap increases over time) ​ Total Cost: $480,000 Risk of pill failing given typical use: Between 4% and 9% per year - let's be conservative and say 4% This comes out to a risk of about $19,000 per year. Now…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/08/22 02:48 AM
1

Yeah, no, that’s not weird (provided they gave you their Instagram). Maybe don’t go 300 posts down their feed but I feel like that’s normal? That wouldn’t bother me in the slightest
/r/PurplePillDebate12/08/22 01:06 AM
1

It can be, depending on how you show that interest. If it's just a slight "you're cute, I'd love to hang out some time," nothing wrong with it. If it's aggressive/a bit much/comes off as clingy, you're going to scare more mature people off because they don't want to be put on a pedestal/someone's only form of entertainment/etc.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/08/22 12:51 AM
1

It might be something you're doing, it might not be. It's hard to tell without knowing what you're into and what you're doing It might be that the women you're attracted to are immature (maybe you're attracted to something that correlates with immaturity). It could be that your social settings you hang out with or your peer group is inherently immature and there isn't a ton you can do other than hanging out in other places. That being said, best to change what you can (if it's worth it to you) a…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/08/22 12:35 AM
5

I think there's an exception there if both people want someone to be a SAHP but assuming both people work full-time, the average man makes about $10,000 more than the average woman. Large difference but it's not minimum wage and 6 figures. To answer your question: Assuming the minimum wage is $7.25/hr: - 6% of men working full time and 8% of women working full time make at or below the minimum wage - 12% of men and 17% of women make at or below the minimum wage ​ Anyways, I do think there's an i…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/08/22 12:32 AM
2

Yeah, that's fair. I can't really do 5-10 but you do you. As long as you can treat everyone with respect and you're not being a dick, I don't see a problem (please don't lie to/manipulate/cheat on people to get that - that's not cool and I see lots of men and women pull that crap). I don't really desire commitment from one guy or want to be with one guy but I also don't have a ton of other "standard biological desires" - like I said, no desire to have a man be a provider, have kids, any of that.…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/08/22 11:27 PM
2

I honestly couldn't answer that because it's not something I or most women I know do. I'm generally of the philosophy that if you're running into the same situation repeatedly, look at the common denominator but that doesn't necessarily mean you're doing something wrong; that could mean something about the women you're attracted to or attract happens to mean they also communicate like children. I only say that because I've been that common denominator before and it's helped me. I wouldn't say th…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/08/22 11:23 PM
2

Past 3, it's a pain to manage scheduling and spend enough time with everyone for it to feel worthwhile. Why more than 1? Why not, I guess? I'm happy with my relationships being fluid - if we're happy sleeping together, cool; if we want to go on dates, cool; if we're just going to vent to each other and not talk outside of that, cool. It's more of a whatever works thing than actively aiming for 2-3, but that tends to be where it falls for me and everyone I'm involved with. I've never been the jea…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/08/22 11:14 PM
29

I want to preface this by saying that anyone is absolutely entitled to whatever standards they want to have, given that they aren't bitching about how nobody meets that standard. Have ridiculous standards if you're okay with losing opportunities because of it - you do you. ​ - Average/below average guys/girls going after super fit, attractive people - People who barely got through high school wanting to date someone super educated - Someone who makes minimum wage wanting to date someone making 6…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/08/22 11:02 PM
2

I'm not fully sure what you're asking so let me know if I'm off the mark on this one, because there's a good chance I might be. If I'm not vibing with someone/I can tell they're just not particularly interested in me, I just let it go because I don't want to pour energy into someone who won't pour energy into me and vice versa. I don't want to be chased; I just move on. I think some women think it makes them more attractive because being clingy/needy is unnattractive. Lots of women don't do it t…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/08/22 10:57 PM
2

I typically prefer 2-3 to be completely honest but past that, yeah, it gets tedious and not worth the effort. Never been particularly monogamous, tbh
/r/PurplePillDebate11/08/22 10:53 PM
1

I've had that dream maybe once and it was because I missed my period by a few days. Stress dreams suck
/r/PurplePillDebate11/08/22 10:35 PM
2

Eh, depends on the girl. I enjoy sleeping around but I don't really want to sleep around with a lot of guys. I'd prefer to sleep around with a few decent guys repeatedly; makes my life easier.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/08/22 10:35 PM
1

Depends on what you're looking for/who you're dating but the same thing men bring to relationships: a unique person to go through life with. What I specifically bring to a relationship? Companionship, loyalty, comfort, affection, humor, fun road trips, good books, hobbies to explore together, someone to share adult tasks with.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/08/22 10:32 PM
3

It depends on how it's asked. Usually, it's asked in a degrading "women don't contribute anything to relationships," so yeah, I don't like being asked that. I don't ask men what they bring to the table because it's assumed that if I want a relationship with them, there's something they provide. That being said, if there's something specific you're looking for a partner to bring to a relationship, completely fair to look for it/ask about it/feel it out. Just don't be a jerk about it and it's all …
/r/PurplePillDebate11/08/22 10:28 PM
1

Yes, I was raised religious (not Christian). I went to services once a week when I was younger and twice a day as I got older. Last time I went to a service was on Sunday for a wedding. However, I'm not particularly religious anymore; I'll only go out of curiosity or for an event
/r/PurplePillDebate11/08/22 10:25 PM
3

Yeah, that's fair. I don't think I'd date someone with young kids but I don't mind parenting older kids
/r/PurplePillDebate11/08/22 08:21 PM
2

That was absolutely a typo. I’d rather regret not having kids I wanted than having kids I didn’t want* Having kids I didn’t want sounds like a nightmare. Not having them just sounds slightly lonely Edit: I’m also borderline anti-natalist and will likely adopt older children if I ever had any so bio kids (especially accidental ones) are a no-go
/r/PurplePillDebate11/08/22 06:57 PM
1

I’m in my early 20s and a healthy weight (not skinny, not overweight - relatively athletic and in a healthy BMI range) and I’ve found it’s harder than a lot of guys on this sub make it out to be. I don’t regularly get hit on/asked out/anything else and most guys I’m into aren’t into me/turn me down. It’s life and that’s fine but there seems to be a misconception that women have guys chasing them and that’s not the case. Most people end up married anyways but it sucks no matter what side you’re o…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/08/22 06:56 PM
3

Sure, you’re not wrong. It really depends on the person. I know a few people in their 50s who never settled down and are glad they didn’t; I also know people in their 30s who regret not settling down earlier. On the flip side, I know people who got married at 17 and are happy 55 years later and I know people who got married at 22 and were divorced by 30. You have to know yourself well enough and also know what the potential consequences are and decide what you are and aren’t okay with. It’s a ve…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/08/22 05:13 PM
1

Depends on circumstances but I’m not opposed
/r/PurplePillDebate11/08/22 04:33 PM
70

Depends on what your life goals are. If you want kids, probably by your late 20s. If you’re career focused but still want to settle down/have a life partner, mid 30s. If you don’t really care either way, whenever if ever
/r/PurplePillDebate10/08/22 11:08 PM
1

Oh, no, you're absolutely good. Doesn't bother me in the slightest
/r/PurplePillDebate10/08/22 12:13 PM
1

Absolutely. 95% of the people I’ve had feelings for were people who weren’t even remotely interested in me. They were just cool people I enjoyed talking to
/r/PurplePillDebate10/08/22 11:52 AM
2

Eh, it’s fine. Most people are settling for each other and that’s okay
/r/PurplePillDebate10/08/22 11:25 AM
1

I'm South Asian
/r/PurplePillDebate08/08/22 09:01 PM
1

20s F, yes I’d date someone outside my race and I typically do. I’ve gone on dates with people of all races and I’ve been in relationships with people of both my own and other races. Race in itself isn’t an issue
/r/PurplePillDebate08/08/22 08:28 PM
1

Agreed. I’m a huge fan
/r/PurplePillDebate07/08/22 08:45 PM
1

I feel that. If it's worth anything, I've found the vast majority of men in the world aren't nearly as bad as the ones here. Most can be pretty sweet, good people. Some are... well, the people you see here. But they're not the norm. I'd take a break from this sub because it seriously fucks with you, knowing people like this exist out in the world
/r/PurplePillDebate07/08/22 05:51 PM
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I was for a while. Played in an orchestra band for 7 years, a jazz band for 4, and an african drumming ensemble for about a year. Been moving around a lot recently so I haven't had anything stable but I met a few people recently so we might put something together
/r/PurplePillDebate07/08/22 05:47 PM
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If I tried, probably a decent bit. Sex doesn't really interest me
/r/PurplePillDebate07/08/22 05:46 PM
–

Sax, some guitar, some uke, african drums, and I'm learning piano. Trumpet and violin are next but piano has been killing me
/r/PurplePillDebate07/08/22 05:27 PM
2

I'm not talking about degradation or violence as a kink. Like I said, some kink porn is decent - I appreciate a good porn studio that publicly goes over scene negotiation, boundaries, safewords, etc. I'm talking about the sort of mainstream porn that is inherently violent or degrading. The kind in which you can't actually tell if it's consensual or not and in which women are being treated like objects without any prior context (i.e. it's not clearly part of a scene).
/r/PurplePillDebate07/08/22 12:08 PM
0

Maybe once a week, maybe less
/r/PurplePillDebate07/08/22 12:03 PM
4

You can have negative opinions on whatever you want as long as you're not a dick about it. You can dislike whatever you want, especially in a romantic or sexual partner. On that note, most porn is absolutely disgusting. It's unrealistic, violent, degrading, and generally a poor portrayal of human sexuality. No issues with men watching porn if it's good porn (and yes, some amateur or indie studio or kink porn is decent) but most men watch absolute trash.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/08/22 12:02 PM
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Even at 6'6, if you're at the highest end of a healthy BMI, 36 lbs down will take you down into the bottom of a healthy range. 36 lbs down and still chubby probably means at least overweight, if not bordering obese. That being said, good for her for getting on top of it. That sort of thing will ruin your life over the long term. On another note, I really don't like how the word chubby is being used nowadays. I always took it to mean, well, chubby - within a healthy weight range but not particula…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/08/22 11:54 AM
1

In no particular order: Workaholic (I'm typically working 2-3 jobs at a time with long hours) Can't cook to save my life I'm not particularly feminine (can't do makeup, don't wear dresses/skirts, don't have any stereotypically feminine hobbies) I have a low sex drive - I just don't really get the point I'm not particularly slim (smack-dab in the middle of the healthy weight range for my height) Trauma (very well-managed but I have some unconventional views because of it) Lots of controversial vi…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/08/22 03:12 AM
1

Yeah, in some ways I'd hope they are. I also want to be better than them in other ways. Not super familiar with the concept of hypergamy but if having complimentary strengths is it, confirmed I guess?
/r/PurplePillDebate07/08/22 03:00 AM
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Meh? I imagine my partner also doesn't want to date someone completely inferior to them. Ideally, they're better than me in some ways and I'm better than them in others. I don't really want to date someone I consider superior/is a mentor to me/is just way ahead in life because it creates a power dynamic I don't enjoy (been there, done that).
/r/PurplePillDebate07/08/22 02:47 AM
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Maybe some women can. I can't be in a relationship with someone long-term if they're not my equal in a relationship. If they're inferior in every single way, I'm eventually going to get frustrated with them or feel like I'm dating a child. I can't even be true friends with people who are inferior to me in every way; I want to be friends with people who are my equals. I have mentees who aren't at the same level that I am but I'd never date them
/r/PurplePillDebate07/08/22 01:16 AM
–

Agreed
/r/PurplePillDebate29/07/22 12:51 AM
1

A kink is just non-conventional sexual preferences. For me, it’s typically within the realm of bdsm
/r/PurplePillDebate28/07/22 08:08 PM
2

I personally do, yeah. Otherwise it just feels objectifying
/r/PurplePillDebate28/07/22 06:17 PM
1

Some of it in certain contexts with certain people can be fun. If we’re just having sex, I don’t like being slapped or pushed around or any of that. Light choking can sometimes be fine but even that’s pushing it. That being said, sure, I’m into kink and if I’m in a dynamic with someone and we’ve decided we’re in the mood for that ahead of time, it can be fun. Usually, though, I run into it during vanilla sex and it’s a turnoff
/r/PurplePillDebate28/07/22 06:09 PM
4

Exactly what I was going to say
/r/PurplePillDebate28/07/22 05:23 PM
2

Man: probably 50ish? He’s attractive, intelligent, charismatic, generally great guy all around Woman: maybe 2-3? She’s also attractive, smart, great woman all around
/r/PurplePillDebate27/07/22 08:35 PM
1

Most of them won’t sleep with women who have had more than one drink but yeah, they do pretty well for themselves. That being said, they’re pretty awesome and definitely not the norm
/r/PurplePillDebate27/07/22 08:30 PM
1

Yeah, I don't think they really drink/do drugs/party but they do go out a lot (they do most of their socializing in public settings). I also know a few of them don't care to have sex that often anyways; they're content going out and getting laid once or twice a week so it doesn't take all that long
/r/PurplePillDebate27/07/22 06:38 PM
2

Some of them are in universities so they meet people that way (common rooms in residences, classes, fraternities, etc). Others frequent their local pubs; their bartenders know them well and it's a local hangout for them and their friends so nobody thinks anything of it. Some do pretty well on dating sites and others meet friends of friends or people through hobbies (though that's less frequent).
/r/PurplePillDebate27/07/22 06:29 PM
3

Like with most things, depends on the guy and the women he’s into. I know a few men who get the majority of their sex from ONS because they get bored of seeing the same woman more than once or twice. I also know a few who have longer-term FWB situations where the woman is well-aware there’s no commitment and is looking for the same thing. I’m sure there are also men who string women along and get laid that way but the ones I’ve met haven’t been particularly successful; not to say that’s the broa…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/07/22 06:08 PM
1

I haven't seen it either. I just figured I'd link the article it was based off in case the OP wanted to read it because his conclusion was based on other statistics. I haven't seen the original post to be able to make an informed comment other than just providing data.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/07/22 05:20 PM
4

I mean, yeah? I have no issues with MGTOW in theory (not familiar with NEET). However, I notice that all many of them talk about is women and how much they hate them. They almost sound obsessed and bitter. Guys who genuinely just don’t think relationships are worth the time are cool. I’ve got a couple of MGTOW in my life and they’re all great people; no issues there
/r/PurplePillDebate27/07/22 04:16 PM
2

I’ve run into a few men that prefer women who have had many past partners but more commonly, I’ve run into men who don’t care one way or another. The vast majority of my previous dates or partners didn’t ask and didn’t care and honestly, if they did, it wouldn’t have worked out anyways
/r/PurplePillDebate27/07/22 03:03 PM
2

I don’t consider it sharing. My partner isn’t property that I own and he’s free to have whatever other relationships that he wants, as long as he’s fulfilling his obligations in ours. In the same vein, I’m not my partner’s property so the other relationships I have aren’t really his business either. Basically, I have no issues with him having another wife. However, it’s a dealbreaker if he has problems with me having another husband
/r/PurplePillDebate27/07/22 02:59 PM
1

Depends on personal preference. I dislike teaching my partner what works but other women enjoy it
/r/PurplePillDebate27/07/22 02:38 PM
25

Study: https://journals.lww.com/greenjournal/Fulltext/2021/11000/Homicide_During_Pregnancy_and_the_Postpartum.10.aspx ​ Edit: For ease of reading, here are the conclusions: ​ RESULTS:There were 3.62 homicides per 100,000 live births among females who were pregnant or within 1 year postpartum, 16% higher than homicide prevalence among nonpregnant and nonpostpartum females of reproductive age (3.12 deaths/100,000 population, P<.05). Homicide during pregnancy or within 42 days of the end of pregnan…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/07/22 12:39 PM
1

It doesn’t to me. He’s probably my worst, though I’d never say that to him. I love him and he makes me incredibly happy so I don’t care
/r/PurplePillDebate27/07/22 09:45 AM
8

No. I've had friends tell me they didn't find my date or partner attractive. As long as I liked him, it didn't matter to me and it didn't change how attracted I was to them, nor did I second guess seeing them
/r/PurplePillDebate27/07/22 12:25 AM
2

What particularly do you struggle with? Do you have friends that are women? Does it make you nervous?
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/22 10:16 PM
3

Those in porn are typically heavily exaggerated. If your partner is having a good time, they’ll probably be involved/moan/etc but it’s not like in porn
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/22 09:33 PM
2

I'd rather be single
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/22 08:29 PM
1

I am not ready to deal with the anger that will provoke but I do wish I had an answer
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/22 08:28 PM
3

I also often get told this by men who don't make enough to support me, let alone future kids, on a sole income. I don't blame them in this economy but it's just unreasonable to expect to comfortably raise 2 kids with a SAHM in a HCOL area on less than 60k/year. Heck, it's hard to get by as a single person in my area until you're making 6 figures so unless you're bringing home over 150k/year, it's just not doable without having your family lose out on a lot of opportunities. Beyond that, I also d…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/22 07:12 PM
2

As a woman, yes. Different levels of attraction, different circumstances, different people. With some guys, we're not at that point till a few dates in. With others, it's within a couple of minutes. It's not an "Oh, I should make this guy wait for [insert reason here]," so much as it can naturally happen on different timelines.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/22 05:52 PM
3

Yep. Unfortunately, lots of people think they're entitled to other people's time and energy because they're decided to grace the earth with their presence. It's pathetic
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/22 05:47 PM
2

Oh, absolutely. That's why I mentioned lots of women are also stupidly incapable in relationships and in life. Tons of women have no idea how to hold down a job, how to feed themselves, how to remain somewhat emotionally stable, or how to maintain healthy relationships. I answered the question regarding men because the OP asked specifically about men but I did note that many women have similar issues and that those dynamics aren't gender specific because they're not; lots of "adults" do not know…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/22 05:45 PM
2

That's fair. There's a man in my life whom I deeply respect and he has a definition of masculinity I quite like; he believes that masculinity lies in character more than it does in the end result. Whether it be providing resources or interacting with children, it's the show of character (trustworthiness, adaptability, respect, etc) that makes him feel like a man. Of course, that's not the case for everyone but I think there are deep roots in our upbringing that contribute to where we feel the mo…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/22 04:10 PM
6

Right, that's what I mean. If you're contributing enough financially and you're not a complete jerk, you can pay to get the rest done but given the economy we live in, most men don't, and really can't be expected to make that much. I think lots of men have been told that their only real contribution to relationships is financial so as they can't really contribute enough financially anymore, they feel lied to. Some haven't figured out there are other ways to contribute in a relationship.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/22 03:52 PM
3

Yeah, there would be a lot more options if people were being paid the living wage. Someone could stay at home or each person could also opt to work 20 hours a week instead of 40 and then everyone would have time to contribute to childcare and passion projects. There are more options for the unit, which makes sense. When you're not getting those options anyways, why bother?
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/22 03:25 PM
8

There's a significant population of men who have not learned or been taught how to contribute anything other than money to a relationship. Many of them (and many women as well) lack emotional stability and communication skills and never learned to do basic chores/don't have the skills to be homemakers (can't cook, do laundry, clean, etc). So if they're not contributing financially or emotionally and they're not contributing to the household, you're basically looking at raising another child as o…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/22 03:22 PM
2

Facts can be used to be sexist or racist. Facts themselves are not sexist or racist
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/22 02:30 PM
2

Yes, I invest. No, it's not typically a 401k (right now, it's a non-registered because I don't have a need to lower my tax burden this year). However, as my income increases, I'll shift to registered accounts. No, I don't usually yolo on risky investment options. Sometimes, if I really feel like it, I'll throw a couple hundred in crypto or on a lottery ticket or for a poker game but I don't consider that an investment. If I were to guess, it'd come out to $250/year and it's part of my entertainm…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/22 02:26 PM
2

It's probably between two of my male friends. I'd say one is a 5 and another is an 8
/r/PurplePillDebate24/07/22 08:47 PM
1

Yeah, unfortunately I’ve realized being ghosted happens quite a bit on OLD.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/07/22 07:43 PM
1

I mean, that’s fair. I don’t match with that many people on OLD so I don’t have a particularly difficult time responding to everyone, provided they’re not doing things like that. Past that, if they’re insanely boring (I.e. I’m asking all the questions and they can’t be bothered), the conversation dies out but they don’t seem to mind and I’m not surprised given the lack of prior interest. Any conversation that doesn’t die out for those reasons has a pretty clear reason for dying out. Usually it’s…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/07/22 07:32 PM
4

Having the first message be "You're so fucking hot - I'd love to see those tits" or something super sexual like that. Or starting the conversation with "By the way, I absolutely hate liberal feminist bitches," or anything along those lines. Anything overtly sexual, demeaning, or generally rude is a conversation killer
/r/PurplePillDebate24/07/22 05:49 PM
1

It is and it’s unfortunate but I’m not sure there’s a whole lot we can do about it beyond working towards eliminating racial stereotypes as a whole
/r/PurplePillDebate24/07/22 05:33 PM
0

I'll swipe if they seem like they could be a good fit. If they turn out not to be, then we don't continue to conversation (or in some cases, start it)
/r/PurplePillDebate24/07/22 05:29 PM
2

An angry goose, I could take. Depends on how big the dog is; I could probably take a chihuahua but not a husky
/r/PurplePillDebate24/07/22 02:36 PM
8

People have racial preferences in dating. POC, depending on how much of a minority they are or what the stereotypes regarding them are, tend to get screwed. Women are the same; some minorities are fetishized while others are wholly ignored. It's one of the unfortunate realities of dating
/r/PurplePillDebate24/07/22 02:26 PM
2

Against another woman? Eh, I'm sure it'd be fine. Against a man? I'm screwed
/r/PurplePillDebate24/07/22 02:23 PM
1

Glad we're on the same page
/r/PurplePillDebate24/07/22 02:19 PM
5

I mean, don't? Doesn't matter to me
/r/PurplePillDebate24/07/22 02:13 PM
1

I’m not sure what his relationships looked like before that, what his goals were, or what led him to that situation but if both of them have been happily married for a quarter of a century, sounds like they’re doing pretty well. Again, not to say some men don’t get screwed but that doesn’t sound like a particularly negative experience
/r/PurplePillDebate24/07/22 01:32 AM
3

I don’t think it’s wholly an American think. STEM is desirable in most places I’ve been (across the US and Canada). STEM men I’ve met have generally had fulfilling dating lives and been happy. The guys I’ve met struggling are more likely to be unemployed, uneducated, or working minimum wage
/r/PurplePillDebate23/07/22 10:47 PM
1

That’s brutal, man. Sorry to hear that. Hopefully some of your friends give you a hug
/r/PurplePillDebate23/07/22 09:24 PM
8

I think that’s a large part of why I don’t understand TRP. I did go to university for STEM and many of my peers are in happy relationships. Those who aren’t have other priorities and aren’t actively looking. I’ve also got quite a few blue collar friends who went to college or straight into apprenticeships, and friends who are trust fund babies. Across any of the given categories, most of the men I’ve met are either in a relationship or happily single and the rest usually have something they’re w…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/07/22 08:36 PM
1

Men too. Those sexy, sexy man hands. Those need to be covered
/r/PurplePillDebate23/07/22 01:16 PM
5

I’ve turned down guys I haven’t found attractive without knowing what their personality was like (OLD). I’ve never turned down someone I liked personality-wise but I’m sure certain physical traits would be dealbreakers for me; I’ve just never run into them
/r/PurplePillDebate23/07/22 12:54 PM
4

If titfucking means boobs are genitalia, hands and mouths are also genitalia
/r/PurplePillDebate23/07/22 12:38 PM
2

I think I did it until I was 8? It’s not as uncommon as you’d think. In many Asian cultures, kids will cosleep with both parents until they’re teens and many will continue to cosleep with the same sex parent well into adulthood
/r/PurplePillDebate23/07/22 12:23 PM
3

I’ve told a few friends in vague terms (won’t use names or anything particularly graphic) when looking for advice. I don’t tell my partners
/r/PurplePillDebate23/07/22 09:59 AM
2

5’8, overweight, slightly balding, 5/10 in looks, maybes 40-50k/year, less than 10 close friends, 6 sexual partners over his lifetime, in a relationship
/r/PurplePillDebate23/07/22 03:43 AM
2

Yeah, that’s fair. Just be upfront and at that point, shouldn’t really matter to them other than for contraceptive purposes (honestly, probably makes you a better bet as an fwb for that reason).
/r/PurplePillDebate23/07/22 03:38 AM
5

I mean, if you’re just looking for hookups, be open about it and at that point, it’s none of their business. If you’re looking for a relationship, I think it’s best to bring up potential dealbreakers like that early, before you get overly invested. There are lots of women that don’t want children, though I’m not sure how many are single and in your general vicinity
/r/PurplePillDebate23/07/22 03:27 AM
0

Agreed. You’re allowed to think whatever you want. Just don’t be a dick about it and it’s cool
/r/PurplePillDebate23/07/22 03:11 AM
1

Everyone can have their preferences. You're also allowed to think people are a dick for their preferences. However, you are not entitled to their time or energy or whatever else and you're not entitled to being a jerk to people for their preferences, as long as they're not actively harming anyone
/r/PurplePillDebate23/07/22 03:05 AM
1

You, sir, are wise. I like you
/r/PurplePillDebate23/07/22 01:51 AM
2

I don't care. Honestly, don't even really care if my partner is having sex with other people, as long as he lets me know. But I'm in the minority there so meh
/r/PurplePillDebate23/07/22 01:38 AM
1

I don't think that's as difficult for the majority of men as this subreddit makes it out to be, unless you have high standards or you're an outlier for whatever reason. Being obese, bald, unattractive, socially awkward, not particularly intelligent, etc, isn't always going to be your downfall. Almost 70% of men are in a relationship in the US and I can promise you that the majority of them are not super fit, perfect guys
/r/PurplePillDebate23/07/22 01:35 AM
1

Mhmm. You won't hear me disagreeing
/r/PurplePillDebate23/07/22 01:31 AM
4

That goes for all conservative families (and all families in general). Lots of people look great to others and are incredibly dysfunctional.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/07/22 12:46 AM
2

I can’t speak to the norm everywhere but that’s not the norm I’ve seen. The majority of men in my friend group say that they usually pay for the first 2-3 dates and then them and their date alternate paying. Yes, on average, the guy ends up paying more but I’ve never personally seen women never or even rarely pick up the bill
/r/PurplePillDebate23/07/22 12:43 AM
2

What do you want? I think this sub overestimates just how much you need to get a decent relationship. Unless you have high standards or you’re an outlier for some reason, it’s not as hard as this sub makes it out to be
/r/PurplePillDebate23/07/22 12:40 AM
1

I do as well. I'm not a fan of those things either. Everyone wants to feel valued and taken care of once in a while and it evens out in the end anyways so might as well
/r/PurplePillDebate23/07/22 12:10 AM
1

Of course. I always fight to pay the first one and will pick up the second if the guy pays the first. I buy my partners gifts, take them on trips, etc, just as often as they do for me. Like I said, I don’t want to live in a culture where everyone is nickel and diming each other so I don’t do it either. I also think that extends beyond romantic relationships. I buy my subordinates a beer after work, buy strangers coffee if we’re having a good convo, and I pick up the bill for my friends who are s…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/07/22 11:53 PM
1

I’ve never split the bill. I always alternate; I think splitting the bill is just.. ick. I’m not a fan
/r/PurplePillDebate22/07/22 11:49 PM
1

For me, it’s neither. Paying the entire bill is a signal of generosity. I want to date people who can be generous with their time, effort, and money. I don’t want to date guys who are going to nickel and dime me on everything, be keeping score, etc. It’s not a good look and it’s a large reason why I think splitting the bill is incredibly unattractive and I don’t personally do it. I want to live in a culture of kindness and generosity and I don’t want people in my life who don’t want the same.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/07/22 11:48 PM
1

1 date. I prefer to alternate paying for dates. However, if the guy doesn't seem enthused about/fight to pay, it's a turn-off. Ideally they pay for the first and I'll pick up the second or vice versa, depending on who's idea the date was/who makes more/whatever other metric we decide on
/r/PurplePillDebate22/07/22 11:03 PM
3

In moderation, they can be healthy. Everyone needs the ability to be able to feel like they can be vulnerable without being attacked and safe spaces provide that. Too much of that creates echo chambers and circle jerks and that's detrimental. Ideally, as a society, we would all just be more patient and compassionate. It's possible to challenge perceptions while still remaining kind, especially if you can read the room and understand when it is and isn't appropriate.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/07/22 10:58 PM
1

I ask for the IRL date when it feels right. Depends on how hard arranging said date will be and current circumstances. If they're nearby and we both have relatively open schedules, I'd rather not text a ton but if they live further away or we're busy, it can wait a bit longer. Again, depends. I typically go between 3 days and 3 weeks out, depending on how busy we are. Not really, if there's a good reason for it. My current partner and I didn't have out first date until 2 weeks in and our second …
/r/PurplePillDebate22/07/22 10:55 PM
1

For me, not really, and depends on the guy but maybe 1-3 times? Sex takes a long time and I've got other things to do
/r/PurplePillDebate22/07/22 07:30 PM
1

I can guarantee not 100% of women on the planet are promiscuous, yes
/r/PurplePillDebate22/07/22 07:27 PM
6

It's just a polite way to say "I'm not interested". Same reason interviewers will usually say something polite like "You sound like you'd be a great addition to any team" or "You have lots of potential" before rejecting you. Sweet, nice, caring, etc, are just blanket terms. Anyone that isn't an asshole can be described as "nice" or "caring" or "sweet". Exciting, charismatic, etc, is more specific and actually requires thought
/r/PurplePillDebate22/07/22 07:27 PM
2

No
/r/PurplePillDebate22/07/22 05:23 PM
1

What it is is a bad idea
/r/PurplePillDebate22/07/22 04:14 PM
1

Like I said, there's a grey area in there. I'd guess anything above being 75% sure you don't intend to date them is reasonably sure but that can be argued either way. There are politer ways to go about that but I've had no issues with dates who make their reservations about me clear (and I appreciate that) and I try to do the same. Even just "hey, [insert thing they've noticed about me] seems like [insert reason it's a concern]." and letting me either correct the misconception or understand ther…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/07/22 01:39 PM
1

I’d consider that being reasonably sure you aren’t going to date her. Sure, there’s a grey area in there but being 95% sure you’re not going to date her is pretty sure. And again, that’s not to say you can’t date/sleep with said people. Just… be honest up front? I’m pretty open with most potential partners about what I want, how I feel about them/if I have any reservations about our compatibility/etc. It’s not all that difficult to be open and honest
/r/PurplePillDebate22/07/22 12:08 PM
4

Everyone likes to feel like their potential partner is putting effort into them so I just don’t think that’s true
/r/PurplePillDebate22/07/22 12:04 PM
1

You are correct. No issues with any full adults dating any other adults; you mentioned it being predatory and I thought college-aged kids were a better example. And again, agreed. Being polite is always appreciated but no real issues if there's no expectation of commitment. I don't really get that in either case. I don't see any of that being gendered; it's universal in either case
/r/PurplePillDebate21/07/22 02:17 AM
–

Can we generally stop being dicks? It’s borderline predatory for people in their 40s to be dating college-aged kids (18-20), no matter the gender. And it’s kind of shitty to ghost people but if there wasn’t an expectation of commitment, eh. It’s not a gender thing; it’s a basic decency thing
/r/PurplePillDebate21/07/22 01:36 AM
1

Not really; I’m open about my stance and what I want, usually before the first date. If they’re not into it, they’re free to not date me, no hard feelings. I’m also pretty good at weeding out guys who would have a problem with my opinions or the way I date so I’m not wasting their or my time.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/07/22 01:23 AM
–

Why are we comparing people to objects/animals at all? I have no desire to compare men to cars, animals, wallets, etc, etc. I don't get the complaint
/r/PurplePillDebate20/07/22 11:14 PM
–

No. I have no desire to live under a system that tells me who I can and can't date
/r/PurplePillDebate20/07/22 11:10 PM
–

I've said this about both genders. When I talk about infantilizing women (I can only speak for myself), I'm usually talking about treating women like they have no autonomy, decisional capacity, etc. Your example is talking about someone who's acting like a child. There's a difference between treating an adult like a child, which isn't cool, and pointing out childish behaviour, which is often deserved. Both men and women can act like toddlers. In neither case is it acceptable.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/07/22 11:09 PM
2

If you’re lying (or lying by omission) it’s probably not cool. If you intended to get to know her/date her and you change your mind, fine. If you never intended to to begin with and you lead her to believe you did, that’s not cool. I feel like it’s pretty straightforward but maybe I’m not being clear?
/r/PurplePillDebate20/07/22 09:53 PM
1

I know a guy who doesn't. Doesn't really care about what women think of him and yet manages to land them all anyways. Great guy
/r/PurplePillDebate20/07/22 08:55 PM
1

Running? It's required for my job (fitness in general but running specifically - can't get around it by doing other cardio). Figured if I have to do it, may as well get good at it. Besides, the runners' high is nice
/r/PurplePillDebate20/07/22 08:44 PM
5

It's fine if you decide you don't want to date someone at any point. It's disingenuous to misrepresent your intent. If you intended to date a women and then decided not to, all good, no big deal. If you acted like you did just to get laid, that's not cool, in the same way that it's not cool to misrepresent your sex drive when dating. If your sex drive changes over time, fine, it happens. However, I'm sure most men would not appreciate women just refusing to have sex all together as soon as they …
/r/PurplePillDebate20/07/22 08:37 PM
1

Can't speak for all women but I don't know many people that can tolerate having a partner significant less intelligent than themselves. I'm sure some men and women can if they're attractive enough or have other redeeming qualities but I definitely can't
/r/PurplePillDebate20/07/22 07:56 PM
1

That might be it. No, it wouldn't stay entered as I moved which probably explained it. It managed to fail to recognize my age, gender (and I do present fairly stereotypically for my gender), and BMI. I'll try on a different device and see if that fixes it
/r/PurplePillDebate20/07/22 07:28 PM
3

What do you mean by love? That could mean so many things. Someone who's okay? Someone I could love? Or someone who's absolutely perfect by every metric I've got and will remain perfect for me for the rest of our lives?
/r/PurplePillDebate20/07/22 07:23 PM
8

Oh, this is hilarious. It guessed everything incredibly incorrectly for me. I love the concept, though!
/r/PurplePillDebate20/07/22 07:15 PM
7

I think OLD is a very low-effort option so you'll get a varied number of folk. Perfectly sane attractive women can use OLD for lots of reasons; not wanting to date within their current social circle, being busy/not wanting to actively put in tons of effort to find a date, getting a feel for the dating scene, who knows. The people who end up on OLD regularly long-term, you might be able to make the argument for but you could say the same for anyone who actively fails to get into a relationship fo…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/07/22 07:02 PM
2

That's absolutely fair and I'm sorry you're being screwed by the assholes that like making women suffer. We don't really like them either, in all fairness. I know you don't want to hurt us but at first glance, there's no way to tell and encountering one of those assholes isn't worth it
/r/PurplePillDebate20/07/22 06:50 PM
2

Sex isn't a reward anymore than a relationship is a reward. Depends on what you're looking for. If you're exclusively looking to get into a relationship to get laid consistently, we probably won't get along anyways. Also, there's nothing saying I'm sleeping with absolutely shit men. I typically avoid sleeping with anyone I don't like, at least as a potential friend. I don't want to sleep with abusive jerks or bigots; it's just easier to screen someone out for being an absolute shitbag than it is…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/07/22 06:45 PM
1

It sucks that you're having to experience that and honestly, I don't have a great answer for you other than that most of us have had poor experience with men and it's not worth the risk. It's not all men. It's not even most men. But the few it has been is more than enough to make us wary. In high school, I was stalked by two older men and one tried to rape me. My 14 year old friend was just spit on yesterday because she was wearing pants and an older man walking by believed "women should only we…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/07/22 06:40 PM
1

Building out a side-gig, running a 10k (I hate running), growing my social circle
/r/PurplePillDebate20/07/22 06:33 PM
2

That's completely fair and I understand how that could be incredibly frustrating. Lots of people will put pressure on men to be put-together, be the provider, etc, while stereotyping them as being childish if they don't look traditionally masculine or whatever (bonus points when that person doesn't bring anything to the table themselves). It sucks and I'm sorry you've been on the receiving end of that. If it's worth anything, I don't think I've ever had a thing against younger or younger-looking…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/07/22 06:22 PM
1

Eh, I wasn't that productive; full-time hours didn't work with my schedule so I worked 30-40 hours/week across multiple jobs as a full-time student. Made an average of 40k/year, I think? Nothing to write home about. I really wasn't looking for superman; just someone who had things somewhat figured out and that was more common amongst men a year or two out of college.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/07/22 05:58 PM
5

Relatively responsible, mature, fun to talk to, sexual compatibility. Basically, if we could feasibly be friends and we're sexually compatible, sure. I don't really care if we're compatible in other ways (long-term goals, relationship styles, financial habits, etc) like I do with a potential partner.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/07/22 03:09 PM
0

I didn't expect it from college-aged men. There's nothing wrong with being in college and having the level of accomplishment/maturity of an average college student. I just didn't want to date those people. That's exactly why most of the men I dated were older. That being said, I wasn't asking for anything I wasn't doing. I had a solid job, was managing money responsibly, could take care of myself and manage my time, and was generally fairly accomplished through college. While a couple of my peer…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/07/22 03:07 PM
0

You're not wrong about being more or less mature. All the college-aged men I dated were just in a different stage of life than me. Lots of the older ones were too, which is why I say it's not a hard rule. You're also right about having a leaning towards older guys. The ones I dated were more likely to be holding down a job, be paying bills responsibly, know how to cook/do chores, know how to manage their time, and typically better at communicating. I did date a few guys I went to school with but…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/07/22 01:27 PM
8

Oh, absolutely. Not denying that. However, I don’t think overcoming fear necessarily leads to success if the payoff isn’t worth it. I’m not going to overcome the fear of jumping off a building onto concrete because there’s no payoff for me. In the same vein, sleeping with a guy on the first date doesn’t have any sort of payoff to offset the potential downside so why do it?
/r/PurplePillDebate20/07/22 01:16 PM
1

I want to say usually but not always. If you know what your type is and you happen to be what your type wants, yeah, you'll attract each other. If I'm attracted to fit men, for example, and I'm also fit, yeah, they'll probably also be attracted to me. Alternatively, I'm I'm into fit men and I'm a couch-potato, hate going out/playing sports, and am heavily overweight, they probably won't be attracted to me. There are always exceptions to the rule and they get weeded out as opposed to weeding them…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/07/22 01:04 PM
2

I don't have an issue with the n-count standard because it's moral so much as I just don't think it's a particularly effective argument, in the same way that I don't think height is a particularly effective metric for a happy relationship. Everyone is free to have their own standards and be attracted to what they're attracted to but in the same way I disagree women who are militant about only dating guys 6'0+, I disagree with men who use n-count as a metric. If you're super outwardly spoken abou…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/07/22 01:00 PM
1

They do. I was pretty much in one relationship through all of college. My ex and I had broken up when I started high school and I didn't start dating or hooking up again until probably 3-4 months into first semester of first year. Met a guy over Christmas break and dated him for the rest of college. That being said, I don't date college-aged guys. It's not a hard-line but I've found most have different values from me and a lot of them just seem... immature, maybe? Not sure if that's exactly what…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/07/22 12:56 PM
2

It depends on the kind of change. I'd argue you're not entirely the same person. Sure, there's the whole increased confidence, yada yada yada, but something has, by definition, changed. It's not the case for everyone but for most people, being relatively fit signals being disciplined and having an active lifestyle. Being well-dressed and groomed signals some level of social awareness and an ability to maintain decent hygiene. Sure, you may have been disciplined and active and socially aware befo…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/07/22 12:51 PM
19

A couple of reasons. For one, I prefer to spend that time getting to know the person. Time isn't unlimited and sex just isn't the most important thing to me, especially early in dating, so if I've only got a few hours or an evening that week, I'd rather get to know them. If I'm hooking up with a guy, I don't really care if I see him again (assuming we're talking ONS and not FWBs). The sex isn't particularly emotionally involved, I'm unlikely to regret it unless he's just shit in bed, not a big d…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/07/22 12:43 PM
2

Personal preference. I prefer guys who are into sports to guys who hit the gym but either is better than a guy who isn’t active at all
/r/PurplePillDebate19/07/22 10:58 PM
2

It depends on what you see as red flags. I've found the opposite to be true; the guys I continued to date after the warning signs were nightmares. The guys with all the green flags were amazing; I'm still friends with most of them and they're in happy, healthy relationships
/r/PurplePillDebate19/07/22 10:52 PM
2

First dates tell you a lot about a person. I can usually tell if someone will be a good fit for me within the first 2 dates and honestly, I've only been wrong once, when I gave the guy more chances after he did off-putting things because I thought he was nervous. None of the guys I stopped dating magically turned out to be my missing Prince Charming; with most, it just seems like I caught a bad fit early and I'm okay with that
/r/PurplePillDebate19/07/22 10:51 PM
2

Not the original commenter but for me, it’s a lack of self-sufficiency. If he constantly needs my attention, doesn’t have other friends, can’t function as an adult on his own, generally just seems super clingy or possessive, I’m out. I’ve got other things to do
/r/PurplePillDebate19/07/22 10:38 PM
2

I’d just look for women you’re already attracted to and bring it up early. I’m pretty dominant in everyday life so in that way, sure, I enjoy being dominant in bed but I also enjoy being a sub because it’s the one time I get a break from always having to be in control. So it’s hard to tell if women who are generally dominant/submissive will be the same way in bed
/r/PurplePillDebate31/05/22 04:26 PM
1

Need more info. 5’9 is fine. 50k is okay, depending on the job he works, how old he is, etc. If you’re making 50k at 55, we probably have different career paths/lifestyles that don’t mesh. At 25? Ay, congrats on doing so well in your career. Overweight depends on how overweight they are and their lifestyle. A couple pounds and still relatively healthy/active? Sure. As long as we can engage in some of my hobbies together and I’m not worried about you keeping over and dying, it’s fine. So if they’…
/r/PurplePillDebate31/05/22 04:23 PM
2

I probably am the dumbass but I don’t really fight other women because there’s no reason to. They’re entitled to their opinions; you do you and all that. Besides, I see value in differing opinions being expressed. Women aren’t a hive mind
/r/PurplePillDebate31/05/22 04:20 PM
3

Depends on the kind of woman you’re looking for. I’m a sub-leaning switch (though as a top, I only do caregiving/gentle femdomme) so I’m not entirely qualified to answer this but a lot of traits that dominant women have will be the same that submissive women have. The same things that make me dominent also make me submissive in other contexts. However, if you’re looking for a good dom, confidence, humility, open-mindedness, desire to learn, someone who’s caring and nurturing, etc. Things you’d l…
/r/PurplePillDebate31/05/22 04:18 PM
1

Q4M: What's the most important trait in a partner/what is your ideal partner like? Is physical attractiveness the most important thing to you or would you make the tradeoff for financial stability, intelligence, ambition, charisma, a certain hobby, or something else, assuming you couldn't have both? Why/why not?
/r/PurplePillDebate30/05/22 06:11 PM
7

Also, out of curiosity, how are you verifying these "facts"? It sounds like you've taken a lot of this at face value without any context. Unfortunately, things in life aren't black and white. Facts require a lot of context to be accurate, especially in the fields of psychology and biology because organisms are so highly variable. This isn't meant as an attack; I just see this a lot and always wonder how that line of thinking works
/r/ExRedPill25/07/21 09:27 PM
19

Dating Advice ​ I'd love to see that study because I've never heard of anything like it, though I'm happy to take a look. It's generally not a great idea to take dating advice from people who aren't your type because you'll only attract women whose standards you're trying to meet. My dating advice has done fuck-all for most of my male friends but that's because they don't want to date someone like me, so of course it won't work for them. All women don't share the same brain cell; we have differe…
/r/ExRedPill25/07/21 09:24 PM
21

Yes, a lot of that is not only misogynistic but pretty darn ignorant. Women are people with lived experiences. I'm not going to debate any of this with you because frankly, I've done enough of that in my life, but if you want to have an open conversation, I'm happy to do that. Here's my take on those points: The Pay Gap If you mean women aren't oppressed in that they're allowed to vote, sure, we're not oppressed. But there are a lot of things that still aren't available to us in the same way the…
/r/ExRedPill25/07/21 09:24 PM
0

I don’t hate all men ( I do have a male partner) but I have a strong disdain for quite a few on this sub. Toxic, abusive, insecure, etc. Just today, I saw two posts that were pretty popular about treating your women like children. About how they aren’t your equals but you can still love them, like you do children. How you have to be controlling, treat them like kids or dogs, to get them to respect you. I find it disgusting. I’m a grown adult and I don’t need anyone to treat me like a child or a …
/r/TheRedPill13/07/21 08:22 PM
2

That’s totally fair and I take the same approach to a lot of things like that. I’m not sure how much real his experiences are (and honestly, I think it’s kind of funny that his qualifications on his website are just pictures of his genitals) but I do think some of the stuff he says about guys being insecure is true. I’ve definitely turned down a few short/skinny guys solely because they’re so weird about it but that’s just personal experience
/r/TheRedPill13/07/21 01:30 PM
1

Full of crap in what way? I don’t think what he says is anything special but it’s pretty similar to what I wish I could tell a few friends when they complain about not being able to get a date for [insert reason here]
/r/TheRedPill13/07/21 01:05 PM
21

You know what? For the most part, I fucking hate this subreddit. It can be manipulative, toxic, objectifying, and all around wrong. 90% of the time, it’s absolute fucking garbage and makes me want to puke, knowing that the men in my life might actually believe this shit. But this? This right here is it. If most men believed in this and not the other bullshit that gets spewed, they’d be doing a lot better (and I’d probably hate them less, in all honesty). Props to you, Andy
/r/TheRedPill13/07/21 04:15 AM
1

No worries. I’ve been there and it can be a rough start. It depends on where you’re coming from. For me, jealousy wasn’t a natural emotion so much as one I was taught. I’m not a naturally jealous person but I was taught that love meant possessiveness and jealousy and exclusivity. There was a lot of deprogramming, understanding that there are lots of ways to love someone and being jealous and possessive don’t necessarily have to play into that. For one of my partners, the big worry was not having…
/r/TheRedPill11/07/21 04:05 AM
5

Jealousy isn’t necessarily a feeling we should never experience. It’s just like anger, sadness, or any other “negative” emotion. It’s just a matter of dealing with it appropriately. That might take a lot of time and effort; is it worth that to be polyamorous or is monogamy a better option for you? There are good support subreddits (which after having my first comment removed, I’ve learned I cannot mention by name) that you can look into. They might not be particularly supportive of TRP, though, …
/r/TheRedPill11/07/21 01:29 AM
1

I’m just a lurker but apparently anyone who’s doing half-decent is pretty rare according to this calculator. Of guys 18-30, only 1/3 are single, not obese, and make at least 25k a year. I feel like that’s a pretty low bar. Up that to 30k a year and you’re down to 1/5.
/r/MGTOW207/07/21 09:13 PM
3

I definitely wouldn’t appreciate it if they’re aiming for a monogamous relationship. I expect what I give so if they’re still dating around, my assumption is that they’re not willing to commit and I’m not interested. I’ve never gone on a third date that didn’t lead to a relationship so I consider it pretty serious at that point
/r/PurplePillDebate07/07/21 09:00 PM
8

I don’t really care if it’s during a first or second date but after that, if we’re still dating (monogamously), I’d expect they’re not also dating other people. Conversely, I’ll do multiple first dates in succession (maybe even second dates but it’s rare) but if I plan on pursing after a second date, I stop seeing anyone else
/r/PurplePillDebate07/07/21 04:36 PM
1

I don’t usually, no. If anything, it’s a vague “yeah, at some point we might make plans”. I have made plans and flaked once but it wasn’t exactly intentional. I made plans for a second date with a guy and he got uncomfortably lewd (talking about licking maple syrup off me) the night before. I had already mentioned a few times that I wasn’t interested in sex early into a relationship and he wouldn’t respect that boundary so I made up a last minute excuse so I could take the night to think it over…
/r/TheRedPill06/07/21 05:06 PM
5

Lots of those norms are harmful both ways. I mean, lots of guys are raised to never take no for an answer, the whole “she likes the chase, keep asking” thing. That combined with girls being taught not to be direct doesn’t help anyone. We feel harassed and you feel led on and everyone is hurt. I do wish that more people took the time to introspect on a lot of that programming as I’m sure everyone would be happier but to each their own
/r/TheRedPill05/07/21 11:12 PM
22

I’m not even sure I’m allowed here but I can tell you why I personally do it (I think another commenter mentioned it and got downvoted but meh). It’s mostly conflict avoidance, for various reasons. Sometimes it’s genuine fear that the guy will take it badly (I’ve been threatened, stalked, blackmailed, the whole shebang). More often than not, it’s because we don’t like letting people down and it’s easier to say “maybe later” than “no,” even if someone might appreciate the latter. A lot of us are …
/r/TheRedPill05/07/21 10:33 PM
1

Yep. My current partner has tons of close female friends. They’re all cool as frick and hype me up all the time. Love them
/r/PurplePillDebate31/03/21 12:58 AM
3

Yes, I hold the same views on make virgins. I would and have dated male virgins, though I’m not sure how many as I don’t ask about previous partners. I know there’ve been at least two because they brought it up, though I’m not sure beyond that
/r/PurplePillDebate31/03/21 12:56 AM
1

And again, I’m sure there are plenty of guys who can’t get laid because of height/looks. I’m also sure plenty of guys get laid despite those things
/r/PurplePillDebate19/03/21 05:39 PM
1

I think it definitely depends on the guy. Most I've met (and again, anecdotal so it may not be widely applicable), have issues not because they're not attractive and don't have people wanted to date them but because they refuse to date anyone who doesn't fit a very strict set of standards that they themselves don't fulfill. I definitely see how it could be frustrating if you are on a fairly similar level to the people you're going after; I just typically don't see many guys like that complaining…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/03/21 03:45 PM
1

Anecdotal evidence isn't irrelevant, nor has it ever been. Anecdotal evidence holds a place in many sciences, hence case studies being widely accepted. As long as you recognize that anecdotal evidence has not been proven to be widely applicable, it's completely relevant.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/03/21 03:40 PM
1

I definitely should have mentioned that. You don't necessarily need to match in all areas but you need to offer something for what you're getting in return.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/03/21 03:39 PM
1

I’m sure there are men who can’t get dates because of looks and height. I’m just speaking of two cases where those aren’t always the dealbreaker. Also, there are plenty of men who get dates, despite being unattractive/short so I don’t think it’s an absolute killer. Two of my past partners have been shorter than 5’4 and one of my past partners were definitely seen as conventionally unattractive. As far as I know, all three of them still regularly get laid and one of them is in a relationship. Aga…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/03/21 02:03 PM
1

I didn’t say it wasn’t
/r/PurplePillDebate19/03/21 02:38 AM
2

I'm sure there's a bit of truth to it but both of them curb their own chances of getting a decent date more than they realize. One of them has tons of female friends who have asked him out/hinted to liking him. He's had friends with benefits and all that. He just refuses to date anyone who isn't petite, well-educated, making a ton of money, and aren't from his city (population of 12,000). Most of those women aren't from his city or are working minimum wage. Mind you, he's also working minimum wa…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/03/21 11:01 PM
1

Sure. I have a partner with anxiety, depression, PTSD, and a number of disabilities. As long as they’re willing to take responsibility for and work on those things (and they’re in a place with treatment that healthy relationships are possible), it’s fine.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/03/21 05:00 PM
20

Fortunately, it’s not much of a predicament for me. My current partner has been wonderful and checks off every box. Ironically enough, every one of my friends says he’s basically a copy of me, and it’s the best relationship I’ve ever been in. I’ll tell you, with the other guys, it wouldn’t be a problem if they put in effort. Having a rough upbringing/not being given opportunities is one thing. Refusing to do what’s in your control is another. I also wouldn’t say that’s the average woman, just li…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/03/21 04:39 PM
14

That sounds about accurate. I only have two guys in my life that complain about having trouble dating and both of them put it up to being ugly because they’re such nice guys. In reality, they both think absolutely stunning women owe them attention because they’re “nice” even though they’re not a good partner, at all (I.e. inconsiderate, arrogant, etc). And they act like women are horrendously shallow for not giving them the chance
/r/PurplePillDebate18/03/21 04:25 PM
22

This is my real question. The average guy I’ve met is either in a relationship or single by choice. I’ve met very few guys who are single because they can’t navigate the dating world
/r/PurplePillDebate18/03/21 03:54 PM
50

I don’t think there’s an issue with having expectations; it’s not living the lifestyle that meets those expectations. It doesn’t make sense to want a traditional SAHM when you still can’t afford your rent without a roommate. You can’t expect someone with a PhD when you’ve dropped out of college. You can’t expect to date a supermodel when you’re not. Most guys I’ve met don’t complain about being single/navigating the dating world but I’ve found the ones who do expect exactly that; way more than t…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/03/21 03:47 PM
10

Stay at home mom
/r/PurplePillDebate18/03/21 03:04 PM
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