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awaythrow-8675309 Archive

View 3 posts and 52 comments by awaythrow-8675309 on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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1

I'm doing amazing now thankfully. It's a reminder sometimes getting replied to these posts how far I've come. You'll be there too.
/r/Divorce_Men18/07/25 12:03 AM
1

I'm in a much better place today. I actually just read my post and I still agree with it all but....yeah..time really does help you heal.
/r/Divorce_Men26/06/25 08:27 PM
6

OP my advice to you is get off dating apps and meet women organically. But really just focus on meeting people in general and surrounding yourself with positive people. You're kind of fueling the dumpster fire that is dating apps although perhaps inadvertently in your view. You think you're healed and you may be well advanced compared to others in your shoes but being on the apps without 100% transparency (or even being on them period) is a mistake. Consider the people on those apps. A good port…
/r/Divorce_Men18/10/24 07:04 PM
3

I learned what genuine love and respect felt like....all from family, friends and in some cases even complete strangers. I felt more loved by them than I ever did by her. And that's not even really me being bitter or hyperbolic.
/r/Divorce_Men07/10/24 06:26 PM
5

Idk about all that but oddly enough she got on ozempic and the friend who told her to get checked for ADHD got her to get ozempic and also has BPD.
/r/Divorce_Men30/09/24 03:03 PM
9

My ex was diagnosed with BPD at the end of our relationship. She was seeking an ADHD diagnosis and the psychologist said it was BPD. That made a lot of things clear for me, but I'm also left with many questions I'll never get answers to. Just realizing the success of my mental and emotional state is largely held up by the fact that she's essentially dead to me and I'll never get answers from those questions. Good luck
/r/Divorce_Men30/09/24 02:20 PM
13

Hey OP my ex did the same thing and you know what? She was diagnosed with BPD at the very very end of our relationship after I caught her cheating and right before she asked for divorce. She suffered with depression and anxiety but for the most part was a good person with some red flags but nothing catastrophic. Then she just nuked it all for ....nothing. Havent heard from her since January and she blocked me on everything and erased me from her life after 12 years. Don't waste your time wonderi…
/r/Divorce_Men11/09/24 06:07 PM
5

My ex lied about her job and said she was active. She was on ozempic and for me to get her in the gym was like getting a dog to calmly walk into the vets office with you. I said this in my original reply but I can't state it louder, be mindful of who you meet after going through the trauma of divorce or infidelity or discard. Ask these people what their goals are what their values are and what happened in their previous relationships. I don't really agree with OP jumping on dating apps so soon b…
/r/Divorce_Men10/09/24 11:00 PM
11

Hey OP, I know it sucks but fuck her. I found my ex on a dating app days after she asked me for a divorce (as a result of her emotionally cheating on me) and she had the audacity to lie until I proved she was full shit and then say "well...ok...I'm on them....maybe you should do the same". I found her on bumble and only because I noticed she was following some random men on social media who she had allegedly met while out with her friend. When I found those guys on dating apps I knew she was on …
/r/Divorce_Men10/09/24 10:55 PM
2

I am on the hook for stbx's credit card debt. Fortunately it's only 5000 dollars but at her peak I believe she had like 20k in cc debt. Finances were not the reason for our divorce but it was never something we really discussed and I lament that. We had a very good dual income and we lived well, but she spent well beyond her own means and a lot of debt she accumulated was bullshit like expensive bags and perfumes. It's the biggest crock of shit to owe her this but at this point I'm like that Tom…
/r/Divorce_Men09/09/24 03:17 PM
5

I made more than my ex and fully supported her. I dreamt of a time where I could just earn enough to support us and we could travel and take it easy. One day towards the end I told her she could stay home and go back to school if she wanted or take a break. "I will NEVER let myself become financially dependent on you like my mom" (her mom married a millionaire.) A few weeks later she cheated and then asked for a divorce and proceeded to ask for a shitload of money basically putting me on a traje…
/r/Divorce_Men06/09/24 05:06 PM
2

I lost 30lbs after she told me she wanted a divorce after I caught her cheating. I gained back 10 of those in muscle. I lived at the gym for 3 months. It's been a while and I'm in a much better place. I improved my diet significantly and the depression diet certainly helped kickstart a good baseline but do not recommend.
/r/Divorce_Men12/08/24 04:50 PM
2

Hang in there. I went through this same thing, in fact our timelines are identical. 12 yrs together, 1.5 married and a change so drastic it is actually attributed to a pretty serious mental health diagnosis she ended up receiving as well as what I can only categorize as an epic mid life crisis. She was on here posting nudes and videos, chatting with men on apps and while I have no proof she was on dating apps she joined them literally the day after she asked me for divorce because I found her. I…
/r/Divorce_Men20/07/24 11:05 PM
5

Yep. And the idea of someone else doesn't necessarily mean it's just an idea, that idea is generally attached to someone else lol
/r/Divorce_Men11/07/24 09:12 PM
10

Even if there isn't actually someone else, there is the idea of someone else.
/r/Divorce_Men11/07/24 07:38 PM
2

I think having kids yourself presents an issue unfortunately. Our situation sounds extremely similar except 12 years instead of 14. I am not officially divorced and haven't really put myself out there (no dating apps at least) but I get hit on when I go out and have met women here and there. Have slept with a few women and even developed a FWB situation with a woman I actually met years ago and we just stayed friends through social media (very different situations but both our relationships ende…
/r/Divorce_Men04/06/24 02:17 PM
1

You're done my friend. Either do the full FBI deep dive which may uncover some shit you don't want to see or talk to her now but get all your ducks in a row. This happened to me, but we are a bit younger and I discovered all this shit through social media including reddit. Unfortunately the outcome will suck no matter what. So you need to prepare for how you will handle it. Buy the book Leave a Cheater Gain a Life and get ready for the rollercoaster. I'm sorry this is happening but know there is…
/r/Divorce_Men26/05/24 02:57 PM
5

Lol Her: "I've cheated on every guy I've dated" Me: (well, she's 21 and surely those guys were all dummies and it won't happen under my watch) "yeah ok" Should've bailed then
/r/Divorce_Men24/05/24 10:18 PM
1

Just to clarify this is borderline personality disorder as bipolar is BD (but they're honestly both applicable here, possibly even more so borderline than bipolar to the uneducated persons surprise)
/r/Divorce_Men20/05/24 08:06 PM
1

I'm not officially divorced but it's coming to 9 months since everything went to shit more or less. Im a little older than your soon to be ex and man just ....enjoy life. I know that's hard to say because sometimes a large part of what we enjoyed was attributed to our wife but enjoy it for what it is. Work on yourself. No one is perfect and despite her nuking the marriage I have found areas where I can improve as a human, as a partner and really just improve my own health physically and mentally…
/r/Divorce_Men25/04/24 09:59 PM
1

I weighed 155-160 (admittedly I needed to lose some weight) and at rock bottom I dropped to 130. I'm at 140 now and eating very healthy and exercising. But yeah dropping 25lbs that easily wasn't fun when I realized why it was happening. I eating fairly well too but it just melted off. I think the best part of it all though was almost a reset of my gut. I lost a lot of bad eating habits with her leaving the house.
/r/Divorce_Men23/04/24 10:11 PM
1

I would think totally normal. When I was going through the separation the weight melted off me. I was actually making huge life changes with diet and exercise in the midst of it, so initially it was really good until it just kept dropping and I was like "wait a minute". Coincidentally she was on ozempic too and she lost a ton of weight when I last saw her. I thought to myself, "my god she is going to become a stick if she continues on ozempic" but despite her being the one who cheated and initia…
/r/Divorce_Men23/04/24 09:44 PM
1

OP I found her on a dating app 1 week after she asked for a divorce so at least yours waited a while or pretended to I suppose.
/r/Divorce_Men21/04/24 11:28 PM
2

Sorry, her lawyer has submitted the agreement to me. I have to have my lawyer review it.
/r/Divorce_Men18/04/24 04:35 PM
2

She sent me the agreement and it says pay the amount within 30 days. I'll agree to the amount to get rid of her, but ideally in smaller installments so I don't take a huge financial hit but also to not give her the pleasure of receiving all that money at once.
/r/Divorce_Men18/04/24 03:56 PM
2

Ive written comments like these many times. This is almost verbatim to my thoughts. The irony too is she cheated on me and decided to go with other dudes. But yet through all this the pain and loss of my best friend is the shittiest part. And to me it sucks because it makes me question....was I her best friend? I mean surely she has to feel bad? Probably not. Hang in there, man.
/r/Divorce_Men16/04/24 10:48 PM
1

Where do you live OP? Same exact story with me except we own a house together unfortunately. Where I live I could've shown the judge a video of 69420 guys running a train on her and she would still get half.
/r/Divorce_Men15/04/24 11:19 PM
2

At my absolute worst I couldn't sleep unless I took a muscle relaxer. Nowadays I'm much better and sleep just fine but I found 12mg melatonin helps much more versus 5mg. Good luck
/r/Divorce_Men15/04/24 10:26 PM
2

I have nothing to offer you except I was with her the same exact amount of time (together 12 married 1) and I have had little to no dreams about her. When I was at rock bottom I couldn't sleep, but those days are thankfully long gone. Its been 7 months and I think of her a lot, but I never have dreams about her. The one I had was weird because it was her in my dream but the woman looked completely different.
/r/Divorce_Men15/04/24 10:25 PM
1

My wife cheated and has been dragging this out despite no kids and no reason to prolong all of this. Consider yourself lucky she's doing it fast whilst I'm in some weird purgatory waiting with my lawyer to see wtf she does. I'm sorry this happened. Life isnt fair sometimes when we think we do everything right and the way they're supposed to be.
/r/Divorce_Men03/04/24 07:42 PM
6

For me it's been hard because it wasn't what I wanted. I loved my wife and I was happy but she decided to stray and do shitty things to me. We aren't divorced yet but it's hard. I actually saw her at a bar the other night and I went back to my friend and told him I was gonna leave. The girl he was talking to asked me what was wrong and I told her I had seen my ex wife and it ruined my night. She asked me how long we had been separated and I said 7 months and her face became sad and she said, "it…
/r/Divorce_Men02/04/24 03:48 PM
8

I briefly joined dating apps and got off them as I felt shitty being on them (still not divorced however I was very transparent and honest about my situation.) Here is my observation to piggy back off of OP I was very emotionally unavailable and I realized many people on them are as well. There will undoubtedly be women on there who are recently single and not over their husband or bf, women who may be on a break of sorts, women who are going through the divorce process and just really women (an…
/r/Divorce_Men02/04/24 03:23 PM
5

I found my ex on a dating app like a week after she asked me for a divorce and claimed she didn't wanna be in a relationship... She said she was active on her profile. This was the same woman who in over a decade went to the gym with me maybe 4x and absolutely hated the gym and was taking ozempic to lose weight
/r/Divorce_Men02/04/24 03:15 PM
3

Mine called me manipulative because the last time we had sex was right before I confronted her knowing that I found out she was emotionally cheating and talking to other men. She said I used her for sex despite her specifically asking for sex and me being in a very weird emotional and mental state at the time after reading through her reddit profile. It felt like a weird "let me see if I can have sex with her and still feel love for her and see how to handle this" but she took it as some evil ma…
/r/Divorce_Men01/04/24 10:25 PM
14

My stbxw emotionally cheated. I caught her sending nudes and posting them online and talking to all sorts of dudes. We tried therapy but ultimately she asked for a divorce because she thought I'd never get over it and she felt like "a prisoner in her own home". This is some bullshit victim mentality cheaters take on to rationalize a sort of equal standing with you despite being the person who fucked up a marriage and relationship. She was more mad that I snooped rather than being mad at herself …
/r/Divorce_Men01/04/24 08:35 PM
1

Ironically I went out tonight and saw her lol...god damn all she does is go out drinking with friends
/r/Divorce_Men30/03/24 06:23 AM
6

I'm gregarious but also fine being home and hanging out by myself. I'm 37 so most of my friends are married with kids or in serious relationships so I've had to sort of meet people on my own and rely on very few friends who are single. She has largely gone a different path going out all the time and partying and surrounding herself with new friends who are probably gonna be single for life, I've just been working out and focusing on my job and eating healthy. No alcohol so even when I go out I'l…
/r/Divorce_Men29/03/24 11:33 PM
12

We aren't divorced yet but she really did sabotage a good life although perhaps it wasn't the life she wanted (she was diagnosed borderline personality disorder and basically had like a mid life crisis at 33 and we were together 12 years ). We had just bought a nice house in a nice area, we traveled a lot and I made 2x what she made (and she makes decent money) so we were set up for a very nice DINK life. Now she moved in with a friend in a place half our size sharing a bathroom with her and a g…
/r/Divorce_Men26/03/24 08:40 PM
7

It was worse too because then I logged into her devices and found hundreds of photos, screenshots of convos from guys on reddit and telegram, dick pics, etc. she asked for the divorce after a month of therapy and it's been a wild ride. According to a friend of hers who has sort of since taken my side she just posts bullshit about how she's a victim and finding her true self
/r/Divorce_Men25/03/24 08:09 PM
9

When I realized she was posting nudes on reddit and chatting with other guys.
/r/Divorce_Men25/03/24 08:05 PM
3

I have to say I've had the complete opposite reaction. In fact, I feel like I truly know what it feels to be loved. My wife cheated and asked for the divorce and my friends and family (and even some strangers) have been amazing. Always checking on me, always willing to talk. Yes there are some people who seem to shy away from the gravity of it e.g. my old coworkers where we have a group chat sharing memes and sports talk and stuff. But all of my real true friends have really poured out for me. S…
/r/Divorce_Men12/03/24 11:33 PM
3

Sorry man, I can't even fathom that. I have a solid group of friends I've known for 20-25 years and none would ever be that big of a piece of shit. But then again I didn't expect my wife to cheat either so I mean I was 50% of the way there. Best of luck dealing with this and don't be afraid to go to therapy. That can be traumatic
/r/Divorce_Men12/03/24 12:47 AM
3

Her mom knows I told her. She blamed me for ruining the relationship between her and her mom. Yeah, that ruined it...not fucking cheating on your husband and upsetting her mom about ruining the marriage was the tipping point.
/r/Divorce_Men09/03/24 11:52 PM
3

We were married 1.5 years which also bothers me because I wonder if they're deliberately delaying for some ulterior motive. She told me she wanted out in late October. To me that marks the end of my marriage but legally nothing has been done
/r/Divorce_Men09/03/24 07:43 PM
1

My stbxw has mental health issues. She struggled with anxiety and depression and in the midst of our last month together while we attended therapy because she emotionally cheated was diagnosed with borderline personality disorder. It was very hard at times. I likened it to a nurse complaining about their cancer patient. No one would ever feel bad for me and I wasn't looking for pity, but man it was exhausting and hard to deal with. I still came home tired and mentally drained from my nurse shift…
/r/Divorce_Men08/03/24 08:05 PM
2

Mine said she did despite her being the one who cheated (emotionally) and asked for the divorce. She was on dating apps like a week after asking me for a divorce and told me just because she was suffering and grieving didn't mean she couldn't be on a dating app. Objectively I've definitely been the one seriously hurting and if she is she's certainly not projecting it to the world
/r/Divorce_Men08/03/24 07:57 PM
3

I'm 37 and no kids so I can't help beyond the depression. Please see a therapist and if needed look into medicine. But if you're apprehensive then maybe just try to go to the gym, join some active clubs (we have a lot of running clubs where I live) or just find a hobby. I've never really been a depressed person. But the last 6 months have sucked tremendously at times. Yeah there have been good moments but by and large it's very difficult...and I think (and my therapist thinks) I'm handling thing…
/r/Divorce_Men08/03/24 03:49 PM
2

Oh no I don't care about the guy. In fact, I don't blame him. He's a young dude who met a woman on a dating app who just wants to hook up. I'd do the same probably at that point in my life. But my wife is the shitty one. However, him lying to her is hilarious karma although simultaneously infuriating.
/r/Divorce_Men04/03/24 07:12 PM
1

So where I live there is a large community of immigrants who cannot work legally. It's pretty common to buy or rent accounts for these type of services (doordash, ubereats, even Amazon). I left the post ambiguous in case she finds it but then I realized that's unlikely so I'll say the dude she is with is Turkish and I know Turkish folks can't exactly just up and move here so I kinda wondered wtf he did he for a living and well now I know. Also the app saying a Hispanic woman spoke Turkish should…
/r/Divorce_Men04/03/24 06:51 PM
4

I hope so. It's been 6 months for me since discovering she cheated. I'm laying in another woman's bed as we speak as the stbx just told me she will be coming by to get the last of her shit from my house. It's been a dark cloud that looms over me. A lot of difficult moments to process. For me the hardest thing is the massive hit to the self esteem infidelity causes and the idea that we as humans are so disposable and dismissable. That is really really hard for me. I don't miss her, but I do miss …
/r/Divorce_Men03/03/24 05:07 PM
2

Same here. Lots of therapy and introspection. "You didn't deserve this and you deserve better"
/r/Divorce_Men27/02/24 06:22 PM
6

I wish I had the answer as I'm dealing with the same. It's hard to sleep and work is also killing me so if it's not thinking of her then it's work and it's an awful cycle. Melatonin doesn't do much for me, zzzquil kind of helped. Really the only thing was a muscle relaxer but of course I don't recommend that regularly. Sometimes I'd sleep better but I'm back now in a cycle where I am not sleeping well. She's moving out today so tonight will be my first night alone in the house empty. I'm terrifi…
/r/Divorce_Men28/01/24 05:52 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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